#idk this happens every year lol

[i-am-me-i-am-sam]

The post about Tumblr dying is fear mongering.

tbh i dont think talking about an outcome that currently seems inevitable is fear mongering

so. is tumblr going to go down, right now? no! right now, for us users, very little to nothing will change! however, from what we know, they are actively moving staff away from tumblr, with no plans to ever grow that staff back up. as people who know more about tech than me have already said, this means updates will trickle to a stop. bugs and glitches will pile up. without the number of staff to maintain tumblr properly, eventually it will be unable to keep running.

keyword: eventually!

again, that's not right now. we're looking at the future here. so people looking to gather on other sites, to figure out where their communities are moving? they're looking towards that future. they, and i, want to be prepared, and can you blame us? while I was too young for it, I've heard about all the communities that were lost from livejournal. people are trying to prevent that from happening again.

it's not fear mongering to say "because of these actions, the site will eventually cease to run, so we should look to come together as community and have an idea of our next move when tumblr can no longer house us."

theres every chance we still have YEARS of functionality on this site left, even with the staff being cut. and, hey! maybe we'll get lucky. maybe they decide not to do this, or maybe tumblr gets bought out, and is actually able to make a profit without losing a significant portion of its user base. but a site can't run indefinitely without proper staffing.

addendum:

I did the check the blog of the original poster of the screenshot after writing this up. according to him, there seems to be no long term management plan, meaning we likely /would/ be in the holding pattern of "skeleton crew with very little to no additional support" that was already outlined in the screenshot and that people are assuming from it.

#every website will die one day 👍 #no ones saying tumblr will go down right this moment but wanting to prepare ahead of time isnt fear mongering #also posts about tumblrs 'death' happen multiple times a year. ill be here till the last day #but im still going to share those posts so everyone can Have Knowledge. big fan of people knowing things #idk man. tldr is just i disagree with you lol #asks #tumblr

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[skrunksthatwunk]

yusuke's big ol doe eyes

bonus (SICKENING!!!!!):

#he's not even kuwabara's height in them but he's closer #also yusuke's outfit here is like. exactly what i wore for the last two years of high school basically every day #he permanently altered my fashion sense and now it's looping around to me altering his. oh how the turn tables. woe platforms be upon ye #also if you think the anime-realism jumpscare panel looks bad it's part of the bit and if you like it it's bc i tried so so very hard #anyway yusuke *I* think you look very scary in your big clonky platforms ok. there there buddy shhhh #they're stupid. :) #yyh #yu yu hakusho #kuwameshi #yusuke urameshi #kazuma kuwabara #kuwabara kazuma #urameshi yusuke #also i gave him piercings bc uhhhhh uh um uhhhhh i think they look cool sorry. gender envy yusuke #skrunkart #joji kazama voice: [Beautiful Eyes.] now THATS for the rgg audience there we go i haven't forgotten y'all #yet another instance of me trying to make just like a regular kuwameshi sketch page and getting derailed #it's happened like 3 times which means i probably have enough for a sketch dump on accident lol #so that'll happen soonish probably #maybe in like. 2 hours idk. maybe not for years who knows #forces them to be mushy JUST A LITTLE BIT #they're cute to me... and i had to draw them actually together bc i realized i never make stuff of them Actually together :( #so they getta kiss god bless

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

#a biscuit's rambles #also i just love going out with friends til late?? #with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great #also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe #idk #i also like my bike. a lot #been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets #EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE #AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY #LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT #A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY #AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU #ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!! #and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS #MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN #ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER #fun fact i have been run over before #just fuckin collided with a car #nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt #which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol #though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL #also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY #AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS #I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK #AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE #THROUGH MYSELF #im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

#And Kouyou!!!! #Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀 #King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen” #I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years– #but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like #“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the– #protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb #But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you. #Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime. #I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?” #I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green. #Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to– #engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color– #that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white. #What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws– #because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil” #Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before– #and will probably keep happening? #I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk. #This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about– #how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive– #their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment #I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes– #that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize. #Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol #random rambles #This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late

[silenthillbunni]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[kevyeen]

biggest cultural shocks watching foreign movies as a kid were:

A) when there was no rice at the meals (literally used to be so worried because "how are they gonna get full? :(")

B) when the bride changed her family name to her husband's ("does she hate her family? is she disowning them?" etc etc)

C) when the cabs stopped when you flagged for them to do so

D) no tea??? NO TEA??????

#kevtalks #for reference the changing family name thing happened in my family one (1) time and no one talked to her for YEARS before she apologised #Also rice is eaten every. fucking. day. AT LEAST for one meal #tea is also drank and served more than water lol #yeah cabs are cabs idk

[non-un-topo]

"It's not dysphoria" I say as I write an entire assignment on my own invisible queerness and gender identity, and as I feel like tearing my skin off and crawling into a cave forever

#i love that this seems to happen every october sdfghfd #those who have been here long enough know the pattern by now #but what am i gonna do about it? nothing probably. idk maybe something when i'm 45 #i would be more okay with all this if i wasn't fucking 5'1 with the biggest girly baby eyes ever #god when cis people say 'but you're so pretty' all sad like it's a shame i'm not dolling myself up. #maybe i can pass as an 11 year old boy. and maybe passing isn't the point. but i would at least like a CRUMB. #....ah. that's why i'm so messed up rn. probably this assignment / research topic i'm choosing #and also having to keep my partner's transition a secret. it's not hard i just worry that someone in the family will find out #that's probably why i've procrastinated working on this assignment for so long lol. it's too personal. #i also had one of those days yesterday where i felt like everyone was scrutinizing me. and maybe a few old men actually were #but i mean who cares? but still can't queer people just exist without being a spectacle? #without cis people constantly trying to 'figure them out'?

[pepprs]

it’s yom kippur now and im not supposed to eat anything until sunset tomorrow but ive had a headache all day and rn its fucking SPLITTING but im 5 hours into the fast and i don’t know what to do. eating something would probably make me feel better but it’s yom kippur and i don’t have a longstanding ailment that would prohibit me from fasting or whatever it’s just i woke up with a headache that has gotten worse throughout the day and now the fast has started but it’s the worst it’s been all day. idk what to do. i need to eat something but i can’t

#purrs #i feel bad having any other thoughts other than like. atonement on this day but imso stressed i didn’t do my homework all weekend bc #yesterday i had horrible cramps and today i had a horrible headache and i was holding out for it to get better and it didn’t and now im #going to be in HELL fasting tomorrow bc not eating or drinking already *gives* me a headache idk what it’s going to be like when I already #have one and i can’t just take pain meds bc we don’t have any 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 im absolutely fucking miserable #food #definitely not getting written in the book of life for saying this 😻✌️ but im so tired of there being a struggle every day. like every day s #something happens and i can’t make a decision that i know will be best for me because im scared of what others who are more powerful will #think. and in this specific instance it’s god and my mom. most of the time it’s just my mom. and im just so tired. i can never do what i #know is best for me because the timing is never right. lol #like can i please not have a horrible headache on the holiest day of the year when im not supposed to eat anything. can i please have a win. #anyway my homework is due tomorrow at 4:30 and ive done nothing to work on it at all whatsoever so i won’t even be able to observe the h #holiday anyway bc i’ll be doing that homework stressed and hungry and dealing with a horrible headache. can’t wait!

[apricote]

service top halsin 🫶👌

#idk if the scene changes based on gender/genitals but that was very soft #also i was screaming in my fist because im secretly 10 years old and sex scenes make me giggle and slightly uncomfortable #i don't mind written ones at all and i write them myself with a completely blank face but seeing it happen on the screen is different lol #river ward sex scene in cp2077 made me laugh so hard it was so funny to me in first person #anyway that was a very sweet scene tbh #i liked it #i'll still have to try out the. uh. bear version #and exhaust every dialogue option i can during it to see what different things halsin says #anyway i love sirius and halsin together i think they're cute #i just wish there was more content for him in the game #💬 #bg3 ramblings

[girlwithfish]

she said some thing abt how I sleep all day and can't do my laundry like I wasnt at work today jfc. literally nothing makes me worth it in her eyes like whatever narrative she portrays abt u is just what she'll say even if it's not even accurate

#doesnt matter that i worked like a normal person today and yesterday and the day before i slept all day according to her #i hate ppl who r liars and act like theyre one thing andndo the opposite or whatever so #my mom acting like shes some huge mental health advocate is so annoying like no tf u arent lol #like ik its getting old and i wish nothing had ever fucking happened to me this past year or my entire life really #But really rhe past year+ fucked me up so bad and im trying to get by #getting out of bed and going to work is doable but feelsnfucking exhausting every day and i barely can do it sometimes #And its like it doesnt really matter in her eyes lol #even tho she wabts to act understanding and like she knows anything abt my mental health and any situation in my life. idk

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images of things

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public #2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys... #3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores #because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something #4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when #they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always #been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever #I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my #half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since #thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too #uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this #one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue #some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol #~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal #frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol #5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting.. #6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys... #7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc) #i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff #but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just #thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol #8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming #I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things #photo diary

[bangcakes]

.

#in the past i would have given up but now im like #oh right if i want something..... i gotta go for it and make it happen HDJDJDJDJDJDJ #itd be easier to give up tho LOL. god.... #idk im just................ what if like. nothing even happens n i spejt all this time liking him like that would SUCK. hhhhhhhhh #i should just see if him n my ither friend wanna hang out but im ANXIOUS ABOUT ASKING #BC. GOD. the longer i dont see someone the more im like.... oh they probably didnt even like me that much JDJDJDJD #like this even happens with ppl ive been friends with for 15 years like i am just THAT insecure???? #maybe not insecure.... idk. i think i just.... dont wanna get hurt so i tell myself that ppl dont actually like me. but thats like so dumb. #bc thats like... borrowing grief from the future right????? and like hhhhh god #idk i just like. sometimes its better to have 0 expectations or hopes?????? #idk romance has never worked out for me b4 so why would it this time #tho to be fair this is the first time ive actually like wanted stuff to keep happening. #prev guys ive been like oh god oh no this is so fast #and its like. just them wanting to talk constantly #but now i have this guy that i talk to like. every 1 to 2 weeks LOL GOD #im trying to hang in there #i think its just that its passed 2am #idk idk #im just.............!!!! #and like what if bc im not moving fast enough.... he moves on JDJJDKDKDKDKDMDMMDMD #but then its like.... ok it wasnt meant to be then....?????? #god this is so JDJDJJDJDJDJD #be careful what u wish for bc like. i said i always wanted a friends first slow burn and LMAO....... #hhhh n e way #im also like maybe i jynxed this whole thing by talking about it too much 😭😭😭 #ugh whatever... im so JDJFJFJDMDMMD #personal

[mossflower]

literally i love writing so much <3

#why does this surprise me every time?? i’ll go withour writing anything for a while #and then when i start again i’m always like. have you guys heard about this it’s literally life changing #i would really love to be a writer tbh but a) i’m terrible at doing it consistently b) not really a stable career choice #like i cannot live at home waiting to Make It as a writer or whatever. i’d literally rather die #idk. i’ll do this physics degree and then see what happens ig. i do love physics aswell it’s not exactly a hardship lol #<- is ignoring the insane amount of debt hes gonna rack up over 3-4 years of uni that will follow her for literal fucking decades. its fine #anyway. today i did my physical writing of my original wip and then busted out a new word doc and started writing fanfic again #i don’t write fanfic a lot bc i prefer playing with my own characters but it’s fun when i do manage it #morganposting

[mrsmarlasinger]

Hmmmmmmmm quick question! What do you do when your executive dysfunction has reached such a critical state that you:

are actively ignoring things you desperately need to do

are ghosting your employers (even though you can make it all go away by doing the one thing you most need to do: send an email and QUIT)

have almost three dozen notifications that you can't even bring yourself to look at

completely unironically have done nothing but sleep and flip between two apps for days

are fucking up your professional/financial future even though you need to move out in a matter of months

✨and✨

are paralyzed by anxiety that keeps mounting to increasingly unsustainable heights

YET

you GENUINELY CANNOT figure out how to PHYSICALLY FORCE YOUR BODY to do the (extremely short, extremely important) list of things you keep telling yourself you're going to do

because at this point you can't even shower or change the clothes you've been wearing for days on end?

Asking for a friend. I'm the friend.

#i'm actually really really scared at this point #i don't know what to do i can't get unstuck i feel like i'm being fucking possessed by a demon of sloth or something (idk i'm not catholic) #the last time this happened THIS badly was a year ago in my last semester of college #i literally was not going to graduate bc I couldn't finish my online course and i was every day paralyzed with fear but i COULDN'T #eventually i sat down once for 8 hrs straight and once for 27 hrs straight and knocked it out in two sittings. how did i do that #i feel like i have no control over myself. all i am all the time is tired and miserable and scared and i can't stop sleeping i just can't #i sleep through every single day and i can't stop it. i can't even stop myself from eating chips and candy and fucking bullshit like that #i'm literally just in what feels like a crisis but it's the most static passive crisis on earth and looks from the outside like NOTHING #like you talk to me and think i'm fine and just being really lazy but inside i am panicking and i hate myself but i'm STUCK #idk what to do like i honestly wish i had meth or coke at this point lol. anything to force my brain out of this fucking static haze #i think i'll pound some kratom. red to gloss over the anxiety‚ white for energy. just parachute a couple grams and cure it. i hope. #god you have no idea what i'd do just to get off tumblr and reddit for ten minutes #personal #executive dysfunction #adhd #depression #actually adhd #actually depressed #untreated adhd #vent #vent tw #vent cw #tw vent #cw vent #mental illness #mental illness tw

[coldvampire]

.

#need to live in a sitcom apartment complex where all my friends are down the hall and we can just hangout whenever #I genuinely think this prolonged lack of ‘face time’/conversation is shaving years off my life lmao #I should be sleeping but man. idk. it’s hard. #and I feel like being out in classes for a handful of hours every week makes it more pronounced. I get embarrassingly excited and it shows #like I can feel myself freaking people out in real time lmfao no one is that excited about small talk. #& I always feel selfish maybe?? or something idk it’s almost a panicky feeling when the conversation dies #please no come back lol I can fill the air more I promise #but I think that makes me exhausting to be around since no one else seems to be in a similar boat #I get it even if it makes me sad + another reason having a lot of people around would solve it yk #like I can just rotate around so I can meet my needs without bothering people #fever dream ofc that will never happen for many reasons but still. idk. #sighs. anyways. sleep maybe now idk.