#if i die from the 'rona

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

wow sorry about forgetting about the one million people who have died to date in america during the continued coronavirus pandemic

#i had family members die from the rona calm down dude it's a joke

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol #since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die #last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep #i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)- #-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂 #and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂 #i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh #(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀) #i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job #i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧 #i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet #for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from #hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick #so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans #which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need #so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle #but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀 #mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭 #but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona- #-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂

[neonpigeons]

I was questioning why I felt so shitty today and my throat is starting to hurt and now I'm WORRIED

#busting out the rapid test #may have gotten the rona at dave and busters. which would be so fucking stupid #if i die from getting covid from a dave and busters that would be so fucking stupid hkshfkshf #anyway it may just be allergies they get pretty bad here and noodle keeps crawling under my bed and getting into dust #so we'll see #ari speaks

[peavhyshy]

𝗣𝗘𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦 (oneshot)

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: In which you keep JJ company while he recovers from COVID-19, playing nurse and cuddling up to take care of him.

Warnings: covid-19, sexually suggestive comments, fluff, some angst?, mild language, mention of JJ's dad, JJ kisses reader even though he has COVID, obviously you shouldn't kiss someone if you have covid but this based on that one Lana Del Rey lyric

Words: 1,424

Outer Banks Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Peppers (the lana song)

You knocked on the screen door of the worn-down beach house, peering inside for any signs of life. "JJ?" you called out.

A round of violent coughing echoed from down the hall followed by a raspy voice. "In here!"

You let yourself in, wrinkling your nose at the lingering scent of beer and cigarettes that permeated the Maybank home. You found JJ curled up on the couch, wrapped in a tattered blanket. His nose was red, his blond hair a tangled mess. Used tissues littered the coffee table in front of him.

"You look like death," you said, plopping down on the couch next to him.

JJ cracked a smile. "Thanks, that makes me feel so much better." His voice was hoarse.

You playfully hit his arm. "You know what I mean. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just dandy," JJ said. "Peachy keen." He erupted into another fit of coughing.

You grabbed a half-empty glass of water from the table and handed it to him. "Here, drink this."

JJ took a few sips to soothe his throat. "So I'm guessing you got my text about testing positive for the 'rona?"

"Yup, got it this morning," You said. As you absentmindedly pushed JJ's hair back from his sweaty forehead to feel his temperature.

"And you still came over?" JJ asked in disbelief. "I'm like super contagious right now."

You shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a ride or die. Gotta make sure you're okay."

JJ grinned and pulled you in for a big sloppy kiss. You squealed and pushed him away.

"Ew JJ! What the hell?" You dramatically wiped your mouth.

"Hey, you're the one who came to see me, COVID cooties and all," JJ said with a laugh that turned into a cough. "Might as well seal the deal and swap some germs."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help smiling. "You're disgusting." you tossed him the TV remote. "Now pick something to watch while I make you some soup or something. We'll ride out this quarantine together."

JJ clicked on the TV, settling back into the couch. "You know, you really are the best."

"Yeah, yeah," you waved dismissively but you were still smiling. "Just don't cough on me anymore."

JJ grinned mischievously at you despite his sickly state. "Don't tempt me, I have no problem about getting you sick too if it means more time with my best girl." He faked a dramatic coughing fit, eliciting an exaggerated sigh from you though he could tell you weren't actually annoyed with him.

"You're just loving having me play nurse for you, aren't you?" You joked as you headed to the kitchen. He could get used to being quarantined if you were taking care of him, that was for sure. Maybe he'd milk this illness a little longer than necessary.

JJ stretched out languidly on the couch, the old springs creaking beneath his weight. He grabbed another tissue to blow his nose which was growing raw and irritated from constant wiping. At least he could still vaguely taste and smell - the steaming bowl of soup you soon presented to him was evidence of that.

"You're a lifesaver, I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N," JJ said earnestly after finishing the entire bowl in record time, his appetite apparently unaffected. He playfully patted the spot on the couch next to him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Now, nurse, I believe your patient requires some additional tender loving care, if you know what I mean."

"Come on baby, you know you want to play nurse with me," he cajoled, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. He faked another dramatic coughing fit. "I think I need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," he joked, making exaggerated kissing noises.

Truth be told, he just wanted you close to him, to feel your soothing presence. Having you here taking care of him made him feel cared for in a way he rarely experienced from his drunk deadbeat dad. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down onto the couch. You let out a surprised squeak as you fell into his lap. JJ wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck.

"Mmm you smell good," he mumbled, breathing in the sweet floral scent of your skin and hair. You squirmed against him but didn't fully pull away. JJ reached up and playfully tugged on one of your strands of hair.

"Just let me hold you for a bit," he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "It'll help me feel better, I promise." He cracked a mischievous grin. "Unless you want to do more than cuddle…" he added suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

You felt your cheeks flush as JJ pulled you into his lap, his arms holding you close. Despite his illness, that cocky grin of his still made your stomach flutter.

"JJ!" You tried to scold, but couldn't keep the smile off your face. His enthusiasm was infectious. You playfully swatted his hands away as they drifted to your chest.

"Cuddle only mister. I'm immune to those puppy dog eyes," You said firmly. Still, you relaxed into his embrace, nestling your head on his shoulder.

"For now at least," JJ teased, his warm breath tickling your ear. 

Maybe you’d regret this later, but right now taking care of a sick JJ felt natural. He needed you- and knowing that filled you with purpose. You glanced up at him, heart melting at the open affection in his eyes. You reached up and traced the bruise on his jaw from his latest fight.

"I'll always be here to patch you up JJ," you murmured. Impulsively you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. JJ sighed in contentment, tightening his arms around you. For now, you simply held each other, letting the steady beats of your hearts lull you into comfort. The rest of the world could wait.

''Will your dad be back soon?''

JJ glanced nervously at the front door before settling his gaze back on you. "He shouldn't be back for a while," he said quietly. "Went on one of his benders last night so he'll probably sleep through the day."

JJ shifted on the worn couch, wincing slightly as the movement aggravated his sore ribs. He hoped you wouldn't notice - the last thing he wanted was your pity. "I wish he'd just disappear for good," JJ muttered bitterly. He scrubbed a hand across his face, not wanting to dwell on his useless excuse for a father.

"Anyway, enough about him," JJ said, forcing a grin. "I've got way better company right now."

He playfully tugged on one of the hair strands, admiring how the sunlight filtering through the blinds brought out the highlights in your hair. You were so beautiful it made his chest ache. JJ wished he could freeze this moment - just the two of you here together, your kind eyes gazing at him with understanding rather than judgment.

"You're too good to me Y/N," JJ said quietly. Before he could overthink it, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your skin was petal soft beneath his lips.

JJ pulled back, heart hammering in his chest. He gave you a crooked smile, hoping you couldn't hear how loud it was beating. "So, wanna raid the crappy cable TV options with me? We can trash talk all the awful daytime soaps."

You looked shocked, unable to speak for a few moments before recovering. You composed yourself before answering, "You know I'll always be here for you JJ, whenever you need me." You give him a soft smile, trying to convey your sincerity. If he wants to drop the subject of his father and move on, you'll happily oblige.

"Daytime TV sounds perfect right now. Let's see who can come up with the most ridiculous plot summaries for these shows," You say with a playful grin. You grab the remote and start flipping through channels, settling on a particularly melodramatic soap opera.

Leaning into JJ's side, you point at the screen. "Okay, that guy definitely just found out the kid he's raising isn't actually his. And that woman is clearly his scorned ex-lover who's out for revenge." You dissolve into giggles, amused by your own silly narration.

You are glad to see JJ's somber mood start to lift, a small smile creeping onto his face. Moments like these make all the chaos and hardship feel worth it. As long as you have each other, you'll be okay.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #obx #outer banks #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fic #obx imagine #jj obx #obx fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks jj

[idrellegames]

i just wanted to know how do you get a high aeran romance? like is it true it can go over 60? how do i get that to happen? i have high friendship points with him... does that become a problem when romancing aeran? Something like you cant romance him if you have a high friendship points? Or am i just doing something wrong?

You have to select the #4 option when Aeran is introduced:

#4. You are friends and you are partners. You can’t imagine this life without him at your side. Though nothing romantic has happened between you, you can’t help but wonder…

This will flag his romance. It's not possible to gain romance points with him otherwise, the MC's feelings for him have to be established from the beginning (he is the only romanceable companion who works like this and it's because they've known each since childhood).

For his high romance content in Episode 2, you HAVE to net over 60 romance points in Episode 1, which is only possible if you:

Get knocked unconscious on any of the boss fights (Count fight, basilisk fight, town square riot, etc).

If you're leaving Rona conscious, then you're going to miss out on the only opportunity to get a head start on his romance. Because Aeran is a fool and he doesn't realize he's in love with the MC unless they almost die.

In Episode 2, you need to make sure that:

Your approval points don't drop below 60

Your romance points don't drop below 60

You cannot have personally killed Rhodarth or have ordered him to kill Rhodarth in Episode 1

Do not tell him about the letters (if you've read them) during the fight at the end of Episode 2

Do not go to Melchior's party

Do not accept Veyer's tryst (you can absolutely make out with them and then leave and go back to Aeran though, if your MC is that kind of messy)

That being said, his low romance content is its own form of delightful, especially in Episode 3. If that's the path you end up on, I would encourage you to stick with it!

#wayfarer #wayfarer if #aeran kellis #romance #walkthroughs #answered

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

director’s cut on aldreda’s childhood/emotional development!

This has activated something in my brain that’s probably gonna see me writing a full lore novel about Aldreda & (my version) of Dance Era House Farwynd, like, I’m literally typing this up on a google doc just for my own ease of answering, I have no idea how long this is going to be lmao. Anyway, I’m gonna start off with a couple things that definitely need to be known as the baseline & then I’ll move on from there with wherever the wind takes me.

The baseline of knowledge we need to go forward is this: Aldreda is the only girl out of 21 children, she watched her number of siblings slowly dwindle starting from the time she was 4 until she was 26, she is one of only 2 kids her dad’s rock wife/Ironborn wife had.

There’s not really any way to sugar coat either of Aldreda’s parents. They both suck in their own way. Their relationship was never good. but it’s definitely in shambles now. They are the source of a lot of Aldreda being the way she is, they aren’t all of it (we’ll get to the rest of it) but they are a big, big foundational part.

Alfric Farwynd, the Lord Reaver of Lonely Light is the archetypical Ironborn lord. He’s what everyone wants to be, but he’s so far away from every other noble house in the Iron Islands that he just kind of gets ignored a lot of the time & has unchecked power over his lonely little island. He has 3 salt wives, one of which he kidnapped/married before he even got married to his arranged islander wife. He spent his entire youth raiding & pillaging & he probably has an army of bastard kids he doesn’t know about amongst the thralls of other Ironborn houses & his own castle & even on the mainland if any women got left behind. This guy sucks, he saw a vat of “respect women juice” & dumped it into the ocean so no one could drink it. He doesn’t care about his wives, he barely cares about his daughter, & the only reason he doesn’t have any more kids is because his wives started getting menopausal & his dick stopped working when he was in his mid 60s (RIP Alfric Farwynd, you would have loved viagra). The only person who will ever live up to his expectations is himself, and he was the measuring stick he held up to his sons. He constantly criticized them & they never were exactly how he wanted by virtue of being their own people instead of extensions of himself like he wanted; they were sons though & they met his expectations better than Aldreda ever did. Especially after they died, when they could stop disappointing him & he could project whatever prowesses & perfections onto them he wanted (this was especially true of the ones who died in the cradle & didn’t even get tainted memories of their “failings”). Aldreda kind of wasn’t even a neat party trick to parade around, she was mostly ignored & if asked he'd really only be able to say “she's one of my kids, man, I don’t know. She has my eyes, I like that.” He was cold & distant & critical, & he loves his brothers in his own way but he’s not really “dad material” because he’s too caught up in the toxic pseudo-viking machismo of the Iron Islands. As a little girl, Aldreda was terrified of him, and even as an adult in her late 20s she kind of still is; but she covers that up by performing the same kind of toxic attitudes Alfric has & lashing out within the parameters of Ironborn Manliness As Filtered Through The Lense Of A Woman Victimized By It.

Lady Melusine Myre is…not mentally okay. She is resentful, she is full of grief, & she doesn’t know where to put any of it. She only had 2 children: Ronas & Aldreda. Her son died in the cradle before her daughter was even born, her husband blamed her for his death, & when he finally came back to her she had a daughter & he never came back. She blames the salt wives for her husband being Like This & harbors resentment for those 3 women who don’t even want to be there & each son they give her husband; she doesn’t celebrate when those boys & men die though, because how can she? Their mothers mourn like she does & she understands that pain at least. She has never been her husband’s first choice, & really he probably wouldn’t have been hers, but she was promised the story of “being a noble reaver’s rock wife, his real wife he can only have one of who will give him sons & carry on the family line & he’ll like you more than all those silly mainland wives he takes. It is a good thing for your husband to have those, by the way, it means he is prosperous & rich & can take care of that many wives & all their kids!” She tells herself she’s okay with it, but she isn’t. She wants love & closeness & intimacy, but she hasn’t gotten that a day in her adult life since she got shipped off to Lonely Light away from the other Iron Islands to marry The Absolute Most Ironborn Man There Is Currently. She doesn’t have a partner, she lost her son, she got abandoned but still has to live with the man who did that to her, so she uses her only kid to fill her emotional needs. Like, Lady Melusine’s boundaries with Aldreda are paper fucking thin, they basically aren’t there. Aldreda is her mom’s therapist, she has to live up to her standards that change every day, & she has never had a moment of privacy with that woman. “It doesn’t matter that you started puberty, I’m your mother & I don’t need to knock to come into your room.”/“It doesn’t matter that you’re a grown woman now, I’m your mother & I’m going to rant at you about some slight against me while you’re taking a bath or getting changed.” And in return for this fucky, laborious emotional incest, Aldreda’s payment is “I will support you doing your gender weird stuff & back you up now that you’re the only claimant to Lonely Light,” & yes that is tied to how much Lady Melusine loves her daughter, but it’s also got a small undercurrent of “if you want to replace all your dead brothers, that is my revenge against everyone who I think has wronged me when you succeed.”

So Aldreda has this just really intense parental situation while living in an incredibly isolated & insular court. Growing up her friends were either her half brothers, or the children of her father’s raiders, or some thrall’s kid: vast power & age imbalances. Aldreda’s oldest brother was 25 when she was born, & she was 20 when her youngest brother was born.

Her favorite person was her older brother Orwen (who was 20 when he died, & Aldreda was 13 when that happened). She looked up to him & wanted to be like him, at least in some respects, & he took care of her. Aldreda wasn’t just “his annoying little sister,” he taught her to fight & brought her little trinkets back from raids & told her cool stories about how badass he was during said raids. Orwen was great, but, like, also one of his best friends was their Open-Secret-Serial-Predator-To-Tween-And-Teen-Girls cousin, Westley. Orwen kept Aldreda safe from him, he warned her to not spend time with him alone & in turn told Westley to leave her alone, but Aldreda was still being nurtured in an environment where people were just kind of lowkey okay with what was going on & really only cared to protect her. 

Her childhood was never that idyllic, but when she was super little she tried really hard to convince herself it was. She was 4 the first time one of her brothers died, then there were 2 more a year later, & then things were okay until she was 9 & 1 more died; little baby Aldreda didn’t really get it but she knew that there were stories about House Farwynd skinchanging into seals & so she just got it in her head that early to decide that’s what happened with her brothers. “Sure, Winfirth/Faren & Edgard/Theon are gone, but they aren’t gone gone! They’re seals now! I went down to the rookery & picked the one(s) I think is him/them!” And she never stopped doing that. Because yes, her parents suck & her dad only kind of loves them & her mom wants her to not love her half-brothers, but they’re her brothers & she loves them. She grieves & mourns for the short time she allows herself by going pure copium & deciding “this seal is my brother & he will get to live on as that animal for another 15 or so years, maybe 25 if we don’t set him loose!” & then she moves on (or at least convinces herself she does) because she doesn’t want to be like her parents. Except she is. She has turned Orwen into a saint in her memory, she has built her dead brothers up in her mind to act as the voice of her own self-doubt & self-criticism; and she is full of grief that she’s choking on & doesn’t know what to do with. She can’t let it out though, so it eats at her from the inside until she does something either to herself or someone else to let it out with sex or violence (like, she was fully carrying on an affair with the thrall who used to be Orwen’s salt wife for a good 5 years & was just like “this is a normal thing to do”).

When she lost 3 brothers in one fell swoop at 13 (favorite included), she decided “I am a girl, but I’m a son, y’know? Daughter but in a boy type way” & cut her hair short & started trying to live up to the persona Lord Alfric wanted of his sons & joined her cousin’s crew to go on raids. Except Orwen was dead & there was no one to save Aldreda from Westley, his men weren’t going to stop him from grooming her & making her attachment styles even worse (because he threatened them). She’s been fixated on him since she was 13/14 & it was a “positive” fixation until she was 26, then he showed his true colors of just being blindly ambitious & also a little bit delusional but she can’t stop being fixated on him because that’s over a decade of being manipulated & abused & thinking they were star crossed lovers & that “when he says the time is right I'm going to give him my maidenhead.” She still romanticizes what happened to her before remembering all the harm she learned he did & then it turns into the most (justifiably) hateful & violent fixation known to man: it's still a fixation though.

She's not her mother or her father, she's something entirely separate & wholly worse: their daughter who never stopped being a sad, traumatized teenage girl in the middle of being emotionally abused & manipulated.

#asks #oc: aldreda farwynd

[mata-aetara-if]

What're the ROs first thoughts when they realize they love MC? If it isn't too spoiler-y ❤

this one was very popular lol

hope you all like it ^_^

Asahi: "oh that's why they make me so nervous recently!" - you notice him blushing a lot more and offering to help you train a lot more! He tries to be smooth but it's more endearing than anything. There’s a lot of “accidental” hand brushes going on.

Niko: "how should I tell them?" - waaaay more clumsy than usual around you. After the third time they step on your toe you're just like "???" and they sputter out excuses, "sorry haha, I must be.. hungry! Yeah! Just distracted from being hungry that's it."

Shikako: "will they like me back?" - definitely too shy to make the first move. She was quiet around you before but now it hard for her to even look you in the eye. When you look away however you catch her glancing at you from the corner of your eye.

Inoru: "Asahi better back off." - jealous boy. wants you all to himself. Doesn't even matter if your teammates don't actually have a crush on you, he's not taking any chances. Will be the first to ask you on a date even if it's just getting breakfast or lunch together.

Rona: "wait!! when did this happen? why am I just realizing?!" - you notice her acting more caring than usual, always asking how you are and how your day was. When you get done with a training session or back from a mission she'll ask if you're injured or would like some water.

Jun: "oh no. I can't. they deserve better." - he denies it so hard. Will try his hardest to stay away from you. You're making him feel things and he doesn't like it. Also blushes easily and can't look you in the eye.

Chai: "YES!!!! THAT'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!" - does not hold back her feelings! The moment she realizes she loves you she is coming to find you wherever you are lol she likes to hug you and hold your hand whenever possible and is very vocally supportive "YOU'VE GOT THIS MC! THAT'S MY GF/BF/SO!!!!"

Mokoto: "hmmmm this is unexpected, but in a good way." - you catch them hanging around you more often, and smiling when only you can see. They'll show you places in the forest that are special to them, like a small waterfall no one knows about or a giant bug nest lol They start becoming relaxed just being in your presence.

Ryoku: "shit." - this is very unexpected for him. He honestly has no idea what he's doing. He'll try being romantic, for ex he'll bring a flower to you and just be like "here." and hand you the flower and walk away without waiting for a response. He's trying bless him. OH and he'd like to send letters to you by hawke asking about how you are whenever you're in your separate villages.

Kougetsu: "I'd kill for them. I'd die for them." - they'd say that out loud while looking at you and their teammates are like "dude (gn) wtf?" It is so not normal for a mist ninja to fall for a leaf ninja. Their mouth will get dry talking to you so you notice them drinking even more water than usual. Thinks about you constantly when they’re not near you, wishing that they’ll get a mission near your village just to at least see you.

#ask #anon #ro asks #ch: asahi #ch: niko #ch: shikako #ch: inoru #ch: rona #ch: jun #ch: chai #ch: mokoto #ch: ryoku #ch: kougetsu #q

[maybege]

'tis the damn season

Summary: Years after you last saw Boba Fett, Natalie invites you to spend Christmas with her family.

Pairing: hot dad!Boba Fett x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 7.5k | Rating: M

Warnings: angst, fluff, more angst, probably too many Taylor Swift song references

Hello, my loves! How are you? I hope the end of the year is treating you well. After too many years since 2019, I have caught The Big 'Rona and thought to myself “Why feel miserable when I can make us all feel angst?”. Basically the premise of this is: Have you ever thought what would happen after the alternate (unhappy) ending? This is the answer. The vibes are heavily inspired by ‘tis the damn season and I think there are a few TSwift reference there for you to catch if you enjoy them (don’t ask me how many/few, I literally have no idea). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this last return to hot dad!Boba and I would be so so so very happy if you let me know what you thought in a comment or a reblog! I wish you all a very happy winter season and we will read each other next year ❤️

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“You promised you would come!”

“I know, Nat,” you sighed, leaning back in your office chair, “It’s just … it’s a long time since I’ve been back and I don’t want to impose and –“

“You would never impose,” she interjected, “You know that! My mom is already so excited to see you and,” here her voice got quieter, “If I do get engaged this holiday season, I want my best friend there. You didn’t even come to the summer trip this year.”

I didn’t come on the summer trip in the last three years, you wanted to reply but you knew that it would not help your case. You clicked out of the document you had been working on, immediately being faced with the desktop background of you and Nat, smiling into the camera when she had come to visit you last year.

You remembered how happy you had been to show her around your new home, to see her after your big move and talk to her like nothing had happened. And for a few brief moments, it had felt like your heart had never been broken, like you were healed from the sadness that seemed to haunt you from three years away.

“Okay,” you heard yourself say, “I will come to visit you over the holidays.”

*

Two months later, you were sure you were about to regret your moment of weakness. But it was too late to go back now, your bags were checked in, the plane had taken off and landed and the winter’s frost was sneaking its way into your thick winter coat as you hurried across the tarmac and into the little airport building.

You were barely past the gates when heard your name being called by a very familiar and very excited voice and it took you but a moment to spot a head of red curls bobbing up and down in the crowd. And then there they were, Nat and Will, everyone’s favourite couple.

It was late, already, and you were tired but having Natalie swing herself at you had you. “You look amazing! Oh, my stars, how was your flight? Did they serve dinner? If not, mom saved you some dinner she made this new pasta dish that you are going to love. Seriously, it is to die for, it has these bits of rosemary in the sauce that –“

“It is so good to see you,” Will greeted you with a smile, taking your suitcase from you, his hand landing on your shoulder, before leaning in to whisper, “She has been very excited as you can hear.”

You grinned, listening to Natalie chatter away as she led you outside and through the parking lot, right towards Will’s car. Snow was dusting the ground and you could see your breath forming little clouds in the air.

It was a winter wonderland.

“How was your day?”

“Exhausting,” you answered honestly as you sat in the back of the car, “Drove to the airport straight from work and it's just – it’s been a long day.”

“You’ll be happy to hear that Poppy has prepared the guest room for you,” Will smiled, “And made her famous lasagne.”

You could not help your groan, “That sounds fucking amazing.”

Nat laughed in the backseat, “I knew you’d say that!”

The drive to her home was shorter than you had remembered but perhaps it was also Nat’s commentary on what you had missed the last three years that made it seem like the blink of an eye before Will pulled into a familiar driveway.

“Oh, wow that’s a lot of cars,” you commented, feeling a little anxious about the gathering that Natalie had insisted was “small”.

As you got out of the car, your eyes Immediately went further up the road, trying to see if you could spot any light in the windows of the neighbouring house or a car in the driveway or Boba walking towards you, confessing his undying love and that he wanted you back and –

“Let’s get going before the food gets cold,” Nat clapped her hand, clearly excited and you tried your best to smile, “I bet Mom had to defend the leftovers for you already.”

Will was the first to enter and carried your bag up the stairs which you were thankful for. You could hear voices coming from the kitchen but you made it a point to let Natalie enter first. “Look who is here!” your friend announced excitedly and you stepped into the door.

Poppy was immediately in front of your, completely blocking your view and you immediately felt more at ease when you saw her genuine smile. “I haven’t seen you in ages!” she greeted you, hugging you to her before pulling you to the kitchen table, “Good thing Will is a quick driver or else …”

You were sure she continued talking, you just didn’t hear her. Her voice faded off into nothingness much like everything else. The only sound you could hear was rushing in your ears as your eyes drifted to the kitchen table. There was Nat’s dad, Rob, yes. He had a plat of lasagne before him and a glass of wine in his hand. He was smiling as he listened to his voice.

But next to him, standing up as soon as you had entered, was Boba. His plate was empty as was his glass, his big hands were resting on the table as if he had pushed himself up. He was wearing blue jeans and a belt and a blue button-down that was rolled up on his forearms. Your heart began to beat faster and faster with no shows of stopping and you were

When your eyes met his, time stood still. There was no other way to describe what was happening other than everything else ceased to exist. Time, space, and any other people in the room. It was all gone. All you could see, all you could think, was Boba. The years hadn’t changed him, really, he was still as handsome as ever, if not more. His dark eyes were warm and his lips were pressed tight together. You wondered if seeing you again affected him as much as it did you.

“Hi,” you blurted out, your voice sounding wrong to your own ears.

Boba swallowed, you could see his head bob, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. Lips that you had kissed once like it was the easiest thing in the world. And it had been.

“Hello,” he said, his voice such a deep rumble you felt like it made your chest vibrate.

Things were said and people stood and left and you didn’t really notice any of it. All you could do was watch as Boba left with Rob, his eyes never leaving yours and was Poppy with them too?

And how did you end up at the table with Nat and a steaming plate of lasagne in front of you?

“I, uh, I didn’t know your dad would stay here,” you finally said, numbly reaching for the fork. You couldn’t even look forward to Poppy’s famous lasagne. Great.

“Oh, since he sold the house, he stays over every Christmas,” she shrugged, “It’s cheaper than getting a hotel and it’s nice to have him close.”

“He sold the house?” you frowned.

“Told you,” she smiled sadly, “A lot has happened since you were last here.”

*

If there was one thing it was that Nat always knew how to get a whole group of people tied into activities, no matter how reluctant they were. Making gingerbread houses, movie nights, potlucks, and walks through the wintery town, Nat really went all out.

Which meant that you had two weeks fully packed with activities for the whole family and no chance of escaping Boba’s intense gaze.

Great.

You had prided yourself on the fact that you were over him. You had gone on dates, you had bought sex toys for yourself, you had set up dating profiles, you had done everything a woman your age did. He had no power over your anymore, of that you had been sure as soon as you had moved away.

But now that you saw him again, saw the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, saw the way his body shook when he laughed or how his hand looked around a cold glass of wine, you weren’t so sure anymore. The worst thing was when you caught him looking at you – more than once – almost lost in thought and his eyes so soft it made your chest ache.

“Dad where are you going?”

You looked up from where you were unsuccessfully trying to drip frosting over the edge of your gingerbread house.

Boba was already by the door to the hallway, looking like he got caught with the hand in the cookie jar. “I’m done,” he said and, as a way of explanation, pointed to his structurally sound and brutalist-inspired decorated ginger house.

“But we aren’t!” Nat protested and much to your dismay, she pointed to you, “Why don’t you help her?”

“Oh, I really don’t think –“

“C’mon, Boba,” Rob interrupted him gently, “Help the girl.”

You had never felt more miserable in your life. Not only did he not want to be close to you, but he also had to be forced to be close to you. An awkward silence ensued as you feverishly stared at your project, trying to avoid looking at him. Because stars knew if you looked at him you wouldn’t be able to stop.

A dark green sweater appeared behind the house as he sat down and you swallowed when you thought of how good he looked with the little belly and the strong arms and the –

“So … what are we doing?”

“I’m trying to put snow on the roof,” you explained, still not looking at him. Your fingers were sticky with the glaze and you clenched your teeth when you saw a chocolate sprinkle slide down the wall. Why could this stupid thing not work the way you wanted it to?

Boba reached for the piping bag in your hands and when his fingertips brushed your knuckles, it felt like he was burning through your skin. “Here, let me. The trick is –“

You pulled away, the icicle you had been piping dropping to the tin aluminium asphalt. “I got it,” you hissed, “You can – You can do something else.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, and you could see him reaching for the bowl of cookie crumbs, “Should I do the garden?”

You nodded, trying your hardest to get your hands to stop shaking. Conversations assumed around you and you both worked in silence. He did not say anything and neither did you because what if you said something embarrassing? Had you overreacted when he had wanted to help you? What if you already had embarrassed yourself?

Then again, why would he refuse to help you? Why didn’t he want to be near you? Sure, you weren’t together anymore and you could imagine easier things for your heart than to be decorating a gingerbread house with him but surely, you weren’t that bad? Did you repulse him that much?

The thoughts in your head didn’t leave you any peace and so you chanced up a glance at him. He was meticulously spreading the cookie crumbs on the foil, his head tilted forward and your eyes followed the bridge of his nose, the line of his jaw, and the little crow's feet next to his eyes that you wanted to trace with your finger.

As if he knew you were looking at him, his eyes shot up, meeting yours. Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t look away. You couldn’t do anything, really, except for watching the corners of his mouth quirk up in a tentative smile.

Shakily, you smiled back.

*

“Let’s go ice skating!”

By now you should have known that whenever Nat had an idea, she would get everyone else to do it with her whether they wanted to or not. If you were honest with yourself, you appreciated her for always getting you to try new things and taking you out of your comfort zone but damn sometimes you just wanted to take a stroll through the snow and curl up in bed with a good book.

But instead of the soft duvet of the guest bed and the warm pages under your fingertips, you were standing at the edge of the frozen lake in a park, the air filled with laughter, screeching children’s voices and the scarping of skates on ice. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shifting from left to right to keep at least a hint of body heat.

“No skating for you?”

You looked at the man standing next to you. He looked casual. And good. He always looked good. He was wearing a black coat and had his hands in his pockets as he looked at a laughing Nat and Will that waved at you. You waved back with a smile, taking a deep breath.

“I don’t really feel like breaking my neck today,” you explained, “What about you?”

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

There went your composure.

“Oh.”

“So,” he started, smiling slightly, looking at you and forgotten was your determination to just ignore him for the two weeks. The man could read you like an open book and it felt so good to be with him again. Even if it would never be like before. “Nat mentioned you got promoted?”

“I was,” you confirmed, fiddling with your hands, “I, uh, I moved to the coast two years ago. It’s pretty cool, actually, no more fighting with marketing and I get to do some of my own projects.”

“That sounds great. So, uh, John still around?” he asked, his hands awkwardly in his pockets, “Couldn’t help but notice that he isn’t … here.”

You chanced a side glance at him, marvelling at how he

You cleared your throat, “No, he, uh, he hasn’t been around for a while.”

“A while, huh?” he echoed and you nodded.

“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” you shrugged, “Is, uh, is Caroline still in the picture?”

“She and I wanted different things,” he explained, “Took us just a little time to realize it. I, yeah, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

As you stood at the edge of the lake, his arm lightly brushing yours, you wondered if maybe you were meant to be.

*

“I think Will is going to propose,” she whisper shouted one night as she sat on your bed, “He is so weird about his luggage and yesterday I saw him hiding something in the sock drawer.”

You had just stepped out of the shower, your hair still dripping as you wrapped the towel tighter around your body. “Did you look to see what it was?”

“Of course not!”

You threw her a look.

“Okay, maybe a little,” she admitted, “It certainly looks like a ring box. Now I just need to

“You know I am going to ask you to be my bridesmaid, right?”

You laughed, “Thank you, Nat, but I expect you to ask me again when it is all official.”

“Of course, of course,” she assured you, gripping a pillow in front of her belly, “I am just so fucking happy. Me! Married! Can you imagine?”

“I can,” you smiled, “And I am truly happy for you, Nat.”

Suddenly her smile fell, though, and you tilted your head questioningly. “Don’t tell me you already worry about the guest list,” you teased her.

“Oh, don’t kid yourself,” she grinned, “I have that figured out since forever, I just …”

“Yeah?”

“I just wish you could feel as happy as I do,” she admitted softly and your smile fell.

“It’s okay,” you said, your heart cracking a little, “I just haven’t met the right person yet. I – I wasn’t as lucky as you were.” Your voice trailed off towards the end, knowing that you had met your person already. It just hadn’t worked out. But you could hardly tell her that.

“Yes, but what if you were,” she insisted, standing up and pacing around the room, “Maybe – maybe

“Nat, if this is your attempt to get dating again, you know I am not ready after John and –“

“John was a bad idea,” she waved off, “But it is important to me that you know that I only ever want you to be happy, okay? I need you to know that.”

“Nat, are you okay?” you frowned, pulling her into a hug, “I promise I am happy and I would never think you were trying to keep me from being happy.”

“Okay,” she sighed, her arms wrapping around your shoulders so tightly, it felt like she was squeezing the air out of your lungs, “I just really need you to know that.”

*

His stares drove you crazy. No matter where you were, in what part of the house, or with whom, Boba haunted you like a ghost and the worst thing was you weren’t even sure if it was intentional. You saw him wearing comfy sweaters, debating wine choices with Rob or joking around with poppy and always – always – glancing at you like he couldn’t even help it.

You wanted to hate him for it. You wanted to hate him for the way he had broken your heart and how you still loved him so effortlessly.

*

You had never really understood what an out-of-body experience was supposed to feel like. Yeah, sure, when Boba and you had gotten hot and heavy there had been a few instances where you felt like your mind was floating above your pleasure-filled body, it never quite rang true.

Well, when Will woke you up the next morning, asking you to back up his suggestion for the day's activity because he wanted to propose to Nat, you knew the entire day would pass you by like you were just a spectator of your own life.

And it did.

You watched Will get down on one knee in front of everyone. You watched Nat gasp in surprise, tears of happiness trailing down her eyes as she accepted with the biggest smile you had ever seen. Everyone was so happy and you wanted to think you were too. And you were. Somewhat.

But you couldn’t help but ask yourself if that would have been in your and Boba’s future if you had stayed together. If something like marriage was still in your future, even if it wasn’t with Boba. But did you even want to marry anyone that wasn’t him?

Poppy and Rob got out the prosecco and as Boba hugged his daughter and Will, his eyes met yours and you imagined seeing the same questions in his eyes that were in yours. That made it even worse.

You were all squeezed into the living room, a fire roaring in the heart and loud jazzy Christmas music playing as Nat stood next to you, showing you how her engagement ring twinkled in the firelight. It was truly a beautiful piece of jewellery and Will had chosen it perfectly for his fiancée.

Nodding at whatever she was saying, you forced the corners of your mouth upwards. The back of your neck prickled and you turned around, finding Boba frowning at you, clearly concerned. In this room full of people, he was still the only one who could spot your fake smile.

“I need to get something to drink,” you mumbled to a still-talking Nat, turning on your heel and escaping into the dark kitchen.

The feeling in your chest grew heavier with every step you took and you swore you couldn’t breathe, your vision going black for a moment. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

You opened the fridge, the blue light a welcome sight and you breathed in the cold air, closing your eyes and thinking. It would all be okay. It had to be.

“Are you okay?”

You flinched, shutting the fridge door and turning around. You wanted to say Yes, thank you for asking before smiling and going back to the living room and pretending as if nothing had ever happened. But somehow, seeing him stand in front of you, a symbol for the biggest what if, the biggest regret, the stand-in for the life you did not have but wanted to have, so badly, with him, it messed with your brain. There was no other explanation for what happened next.

“I loved you, you know?” you burst out, immediately wishing you could take it back when you saw the way his eyes widened. Your breath caught in your throat.

There they were. Words that floated between the two of you that could never be taken back, that had opened you up to him shooting the final shot, throwing you over the cliff, stomping on your offered heart and shattering it into a thousand pieces that you would pick up and glue together just to offer it again.

Because there was no denying now that no matter how much time had passed, you would always love him.

“I know,” he replied, quietly, “I love you too.”

Words were stuck in your throat, building up into a mass that made you feel like you couldn’t breathe anymore. It felt like something was stuck in your throat – your heart, maybe – and all you could hear was I loved you too. But that wasn’t what he had said, was it?

Before you got your mouth to work again, Poppy came in, her presence like a shock of cold water on your system. “Boba, could you help Rob with the tree? I think it might be a two-men-job.”

“I need to go,” he said, still only looking at you, and he followed her out.

“Yeah,” you breathed, watching him leave the kitchen, “Leave me.”

*

You took the first opportunity to leave, mumbling something about a migraine after dinner, before you hurried up the steps and into the sanctuary of your room. You sat down on the bed and didn’t move, simply letting yourself cry to your heart’s content because there was nothing, no thought, no idea, nothing, that could keep you from feeling like you had just lost everything.

You didn’t have any more strength in you to deal with this and you doubted you had had any strength coming into this. All you wanted was Boba but life just … it just didn’t work.

Maybe you weren’t meant to be after all.

What must be hours later, a knock on your door alerted you before the door already opened and a familiar redhead appeared in your room. In her hand, she held a bowl with chocolate mousse and tears stung your eyes again because she was such a good friend and she didn’t even know and –

“I am so sorry,” you cried, hastily wiping at your cheeks, “I am so happy for you, Nat, truly, I didn’t want to ruin –“

“It’s because of my dad, isn’t it?”

You froze. “What?”

“Because of Boba,” she clarified, her voice careful, and set the plate down on the dresser.

You could feel the blood leave your face, all of it racing to your heart that was pumping so fast it felt like it would burst inside your chest. You felt faint. “Nat, I’m so sorry,” you said numbly, your voice hoarse, “I – “

“Don’t … Don’t say anything, please,” she interrupted you, taking a shaky breath, “I think it's about time that I confess something to you.”

*

It was the middle of the night when she was done talking. You hadn’t said anything, feeling like a wall had just collapsed on top of you and you just sat there. And then she sat there, tears in her eyes like she was the one who had been betrayed by her very best friend.

“It was you?” you swallowed, “It … You knew? All this time.”

“I know and I – I am so sorry. You two are so miserable without each other and it is all my fault but I just – I felt like you were betraying me. But now that I know I want this happiness for you too and if it is with my dad then so be it, I mean I, … I really hope you can forgive me.”

Suddenly it all seemed too much. The ring on her finger screamed at you, rubbing under your nose how happy she was and that it was exactly this happiness that she had destroyed for you.

“I – I need to go,” you heard yourself say, already standing in front of the door.

Nat jumped up, “No, please wait!”

You ripped the door open, rushing down the hallway in a blind rage to just get away.

“Is everything okay?” That was Will. Will who was still friends with John. John who had only called you because Nat told him to. Because Nat knew. She had always known.

She called your name but you did not look back, rushing towards the stairs and bumping into a warm body.

Why did everything need to be so mall?

Warm hands settled on your upper arms. “What’s going on?” a concerned voice asked and hearing his voice now made you feel both worse and safer. Stars, you wanted to cuddle into him and escape the madness that was this day.

“I need to go,” you brought out instead, highly aware of Will’s confused stare on your back.

“No, c’mon, please let us talk!” Nat was closer now and you didn’t know what you would do if she managed to catch up with you.

Suddenly you were a few steps down the stairs, a large body covering yours from her gaze. “I think maybe that is not a good idea.”

“Dad, you have no idea –“

“I think I do,” he said, his voice unwavering and you blinked in the half-dimmed light, taking in the curve of his broad shoulders and Nat’s face you could only see parts of, “And I think your friend needs some time.”

She didn’t say anything but you also did not give her a chance too. You hurried down the steps, almost missing the last one because of how eager you were to finally get out. You did not bother to turn on the light, knowing your boots were the ones on the very left and you hopped on one foot, trying to stuff the leg of your jeans into the leather.

A shadow fell over you and you did not need to look up to know who it was.

“I am coming with you,”, he said, the car keys already dwarfed in his big hand, “you are in no condition to go anywhere on your own.”

You did not protest.

To be honest, you were relieved. Your mind was reeling, you felt like you had lived fifty years in the last twenty-four hours and you just … you just needed the familiar comfort that was him.

It was eerily quiet outside. And cold. So fucking cold. He made it a point not to touch you but you still imagined feeling the ghost of his hand on your back, leading you to his car. He opened the door for you and you slipped inside, immediately assaulted by the smell of his cologne and the sheer domesticity of it all.

Boba remained quiet as he started to drive and you appreciated him letting you your space. Because as soon as you somehow were able to form a coherent thought, panic filled you because Boba did not know. Or did he? Would you have to tell him that it was Nat’s involvement all along that had gotten you into that fateful fight years ago? Would it even matter to him?

When the car stopped, you looked up, trying to recognize the place you were at and immediately let out a sad, broken laugh.

“How fitting,” you murmured, “Let me guess, we got room 13B?”

Boba smiled sadly, “I never actually stopped the standing reservation,” he took the key out of the ignition, “Never stopped paying it.”

You did not know what to say to it but somehow it felt like a love confession all over again. The snow crunched under his shoes and you shook your head, trying to free your head from the cloudy thoughts that made everything so much harder to bear.

The way to the room caused you flashbacks of all the times you had met up here and you hated how the few steps to the stairs and along the horribly carpeted gallery felt like coming home. It felt comfortable and safe and the way Boba opened the door for you with the smallest smile felt familiar.

He shrugged out of his jacket and put it over the armchair before turning on the heating to full blast. The sound of the AC was loud and jarring but it was exactly what you needed to get you back into reality.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked when you sat down on the bed. You toed off your boots, pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your feet under the duvet. This would be a long night, of that you were sure, and you were tired of always being cold.

Boba followed your example and the mattress dipped when he sat down next to you. You could feel the heat radiating off his body and the wish to cuddle into him was stronger than ever before.

I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too.

He had said that and he had meant it. He had to have meant it or else he wouldn’t have said it. Boba was many things but he had never maliciously lied to you and he wouldn’t start now. Or were you just imagining things because you were so desperate to be loved by him?

You took a deep breath, fresh tears gathering in your eyes and you started to relay the conversation, the monologue, you had had with Nat. It wasn’t the best moment to talk for you, considering you still hiccupped with tears sometimes or stumbled over words in your haste to get through them without crying. But Boba listened to you and he understood you if the knot between his brows was anything to go by.

His hand was lying between you, looking like it was just waiting for yours to join.

“I am so sorry, I don’t want you to be angry at her,” you trailed off towards the end, frowning, “Or maybe I do. I – I don’t know …”

“I’m not angry,” he said, “I’m just incredibly disappointed in her.”

You laughed, tears sticky on your cheeks. “Sorry,” you sobbed, “That is just the most dad thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“I suppose that’s true,” his lips crooked up, his hand turned his palm up and you hated how that made your heart skip a beat, “But it is how I feel.”

“I never –“ you inhaled sharply, feeling your eyes sting again, “I never thought she knew. I never – What if she had –“

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Yes!” you cried, “Because I never – I never wanted to lose you,” your voice grew soft, “We could have worked things through we could have – we could still be … happy.”

Boba hummed and you gathered to courage to put your hand in his. For a split second, you were afraid he would pull away but he didn’t. His thick fingers slipped between yours effortlessly and breathing felt a little easier now that he gently squeezed your hand.

“I’ve thought so many times about what happened,” he started slowly, “It was the only thing I could think about for months and if I am really honest, it still haunts me.”

You sniffled, looking up at him through your lashes and he met your gaze and damn it why did his eyes still make your heart skip a beat after all this time?

“I wish I had done a lot of things differently back then,” he continued, never looking away from you and for the first time you imagined seeing him scared, “I should have taken your words at face value, I should have been more open about my fears and I should have … I should have believed you when you told me you didn’t mind my age. And I am – stars, princess, I am so sorry.”

You had cried so much, it felt like there were no more tears to cry. But instead of tears, you needed to spill words now because you could feel this was it. This was the moment you could be

“I would have done a lot of things differently, too,” you whispered hoarsely, clearing your throat before hurriedly continuing, “I would have tried to understand more what is at stake for you, I would have told Josh to fuck off right away,” Boba smiled at that, “I would have told you I love you and that – that I am willing .”

Boba shuffled closer, his shoulder bumping into yours and you smiled when he raised your joined hands to his knee.  

“Ask me why I sold the house.”

You tried to calm your racing heart. “Why did you sell the house?”

“I could not bear to be in a city without you in it,” he confessed, “To be fair, it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you but I – I couldn’t stay in a place where there was no future with you.”

“Boba –“

His fingers squeezed yours before letting you. You watched as he stood up from the bed, walking around to stand in front of you and you gaped up at him, turning to sit on the edge. He held out his hand you gave it to him without a thought, his rough fingertips brushing over your knuckles.

“I never stopped,” he stated, his voice sounding as strong as when he had told Nat off, “I never stopped loving you, princess.”

“Me neither,” you murmured, hardly believing what was happening and you stood up as well, the edge of the mattress still in the back of your knees but you needed to be close to him. And you needed to stand because this was … this was important and you needed him to know and –

“Look where we stand, princess,” he whispered with a smile, his chest touching yours.

You looked up. Damn and motels and their cheese decorations.

“I heard it’s incredibly bad luck not to kiss under a mistletoe,” you breathed, unable to hide a teary smile as you felt his breath on your face. He was so close.

“We wouldn’t want that, now do we?” he replied with a grin, leaning even closer. His nose brushed against yours, his fingers brushing over your wrist until he could hold your hand and tug and –

Stars, you had missed kissing him.

It felt like coming home: his chapped lips against yours, the stubble on his jaw, the warmth of his body seeping through your clothes, his tongue and you couldn’t help but sigh into him. He rumbled, one hand coming up to your back and holding you against him and you smiled, trying to press even closer to him.

Yes, kissing him felt like finally coming out of the cold and putting on a warm blanket.

Boba pulled away and you both breathed heavily. “I love you,” you grinned, squeezing his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he murmured, kissing you softly, “I never stopped loving you.”

He held your hand and he didn’t let go, his thick fingers squeezing yours so tightly as if he was afraid you would disappear into thin air at any moment.

“Wanna sit down?” you asked, slowly sinking to the bed and Boba followed, leaning over you until your back hit the mattress.

His hand let go of yours as he supported himself above you and there was something so beautiful about finally feeling his body rest on yours again. He leant down, kissing you again though he did pull away before things could get more heated. You pouted, running your hand over his chest and belly and relishing in the tingle you felt all over your body.

“Wanna take things slow,” he whispered into your ear, his nose brushing down your jaw before he planted a kiss on your neck, “I want to do things properly, this time around.”

“There is nothing proper about us,” you teased him, kissing his scratchy jaw and the rumble he let out made your core ache.

He chuckled and rolled off of you and you turned on your side, his arm immediately coming around your middle to hold you to him. It was like no time had passed at all between now and the last time you had been this close, your bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

“Not yet,” he admitted, “But there could be.”

Not knowing what he meant by that, you just looked at him, resting your hand on his chest.

“I got a job offer by the coast,” he revealed quietly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and you closed your eyes.

“Where?” you asked, hoping to not sound too eager, “I mean, uh, what city?”

He chuckled, his finger tracing over your cheek, “I think you know which one.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you opened your eyes. Boba was smiling now, properly, and his eyes were shining with mirth and he was serious and he wanted what you wanted. You could not help the excited laugh that bubbled up in your throat and soon, he joined in, peppering kisses all over your face.

“What do you say we start the new year together?” he suggested, his arm tightening around your middle, “On the same side of the country?”

*

The house was completely dark when you came back and you did not know if that should make you feel better or not.

Boba had given you his jacket, insisting that your thin pyjama shirt wouldn’t do anything to stave off the cold and he was right. Besides, you loved seeing him in his dark green sweater. Both of you were silent during the ride back but this time not because of tension or the accumulation of years of hurt but because you were so content.

He was holding your hand, his thumb occasionally running over your palm and you glanced at him every few seconds, smiling because this was the start of something precious. Something you would fight for forever if that was what it took.

The door squeaked as you entered the hallway, toeing off your boots and you could hear Rob snoring in the bedroom.

“I’m gonna get changed,” you murmured, suddenly feeling a little shy, “Will I see you at breakfast?”

Boba hummed, stepping closer to you and kissing you again, his fingers tapping your chin. “You know it, princess,” he rumbled and you kissed him again. After all, you had some catching up to do.

It was when you were both ready to go to your respective rooms that Boba posed the question you had tried to avoid. “Do you want to talk to Nat today?” he asked quietly, careful not to wake anyone.

You thought about it for a moment, your shoulder falling when you realized, “I – I don’t know. It’s all still fresh.” 

“You don’t have to decide now,” Boba assured you, pulling you in for a hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “We have time.”

And for the first time in weeks, you could relax because you knew he was right.

You had time.

*

There was no question that it was the best and the worst holiday of your life at the same time. You went from spending time with Nat and avoiding Boba to spending time with Boba and avoiding Nat – an arrangement that you were sure hurt her as much as it did you. But she accepted that you needed time and despite your unsure feelings, you managed to stay civil until Will drove you to the airport for your flight home.

But the year that followed was, without the question, the best one.

In January, Boba accepted the job offer and moved to the coast, only a five-minute drive away from where you lived. You texted every day and set up regular date nights and although it felt like you had simply continued where you left off, you both made it a point to talk things through, several times, until you were ready to face the new future together.

In February, he surprised you with a weekend trip to a family-led boutique hotel. You spent the entire weekend locked up in the bedroom, too busy exploring each other’s bodies to really care for what was going on in the outside world. You ordered room service, watched TV in just your bathrobes and

In March, Nat sent you a tentative text message. You replied just as tentatively. Boba set you up as his emergency contact which you found out when his company car was involved in an accident and the secretary automatically called you, causing you to have five heart attacks all at once. (He was fine, he assured you multiple times but you still got an uncomfortable feeling when he would have to drive somewhere.)

In April, Will and Nat married. Boba attended the festivities and although you were specifically named as his Plus One, you only managed to bring yourself to attend the service, clutching Boba’s hand the entire time who never left you alone – just like he had promised. As Nat passed you on the aisle, she smiled at you and you smiled back. It would take time, you realized, to ever get back to the kind of friendship you had before. But it was not impossible.

In June, you surprised a reluctant Boba with a trip to the animal shelter. The plan had been to find a pet for you but after five minutes of Boba playing with one of the older and, according to staff “shyer”, dogs, you realized that if anyone was going to leave with a pet, it would be him. And so, it came that Boba adopted an adorable American Staffordshire Terrier named Rancor.

In July, you, Rancor and Boba joined the family on the yearly summer holiday. It wasn’t even a question of whether or not you would share a room and you secretly relished in John’s shocked face when Boba kissed you demonstratively. (He insisted he wasn’t jealous but you swore he threw the man a dark look more than once. And so did Rancor.)

In August, you and Boba bought a house to make into a home. It had a garden for Rancor to run around in and enough rooms to serve as an office and, as Boba teased one evening, nurseries. Countless trips to furniture stores, home depots and gardening centres later, you knew that this was the man you wanted to spend your life with.

In September, a crying Nat called you, causing both of you to panic and Boba already googling for flight tickets until she could finally form words and reveal that she was pregnant and already four months along. Boba got a bit pale around the nose when you teasingly called him grandpa but things got better when he realized he could call Poppy grandma just to get on her nerves.

In October, you and Nat talked for three hours on the phone. Many tears and apologies later, you felt like you had finally some closure on a part of your life that had dragged on for way too long. Were things great between you? No, but they were a start that you felt good about.

In November, you and Boba attempted to make your own Thanksgiving dinner which failed catastrophically and with a barely thawed turkey in the sink, Boba made the executive decision to order pizza while you tried to save the apple pie. The night ended with you relaxing on the couch, his arm around your shoulders, your head on his chest and Rancor snoozing away at the end of the couch.

But it was December that really made things come full circle. Because when you hosted your first Christmas party in your house, everybody came to visit, sharing the holiday spirit and exchanging thoughtful gifts and making you feel even more welcome in the family. A pregnant Nat helped you choose some fun activities.

And as the whole town started a countdown to the new year, Boba, whispering in your ear, his arms around you as you looked at the sky in anticipation, asked you to marry him.

#maybege writes #boba fett x reader #boba fett x fem!reader #hot dad!boba vibes

[morethanmeetstheass]

alright, let's do the lowdown of "where the fuck has suna been all this time." probably gonna be long so ill put a keep reading, but tldr: life got bad, life got better, im working on existing in fandom space again

SO. i cant remember the last time i posted, so let's start at where shit went bad. 2020 baby, the rona hit, i graduated college virtually, lost my job, and ended up having to move to another state bc new jobs were so hard to come by. started anew down here in maryland, though a little worse for wear bc i went from living with my 4 best friends to having exactly 0 friends. very isolating, no fun. got cats, one of them died, so that didn't help at all.

fandom-wise, iacon online was both a huge benefit in my life and a huge pain. a lot of stress and misery went into that convention, but a whole lot of good came from running it. i ended up getting the chance to do 3 covers for idw, which was a massive blessing. became friends with multiple members of the cybertronic spree, made new friends with other organizers, got to accidentally roast james roberts to his face.

but it was also very stressful, and admittedly, my love for transformers did a huge swell and then took a big hit. i spiraled into a weird pit of having no interest in anything, lost interest in writing my fic, and started exploring other parts of my life. especially when idw lost the license to transformers, because fuck, now if i want to do covers again, i gotta make MORE connections. i was just very tired and burnt out. started hating all my artwork and despising how i was drawing for validation instead of passion.

sort of accidentally became a prominent creator on tik tok, so i got to explore other parts of my life that got lost in the transformers shuffle. got a new job working remotely, adopted another cat, things were looking up. then my apartment had a fire and i spiraled again, even worse. my mental health still hasn't recovered. it is a miracle that my belongings, health, and pets were ok, but i didnt even feel safe in my own home anymore. still struggling with it almost a year later, even in a new apartment. its been hard.

but i was shuffling on spotify today and stumbled onto my blitzbee playlist, and i got a little twinge in my tummy. i miss transformers. i dont miss being completely consumed by it, but i want to reintroduce myself to the fandom, start making mecha art again, as well as other art.

and i swear on my life, i WILL finish my fic. even after all this time, i still read all the comments i get on roe, on aufn, and especially kwz. i see how many of you want me to finish it, and i want to too. and i will. itll just take me some time to reintroduce myself to the fandom, to get comfortable with creating out of a place of love rather than out of a place of need for external validation. roe was a passion project, and its so clear with how much it was loved. it was good bc it was made out of a place of excitement, out of me genuinely wanting to share the story, not just wanting the likes and kudos. and im feeling that passion again. not 100% just yet, but i am.

so yeah, thats the deal. life has settled. still suffering with post traumatic stress from the fire and trying to feel safe in my space again, but im improving. im finding love for transformers again. im finding love for a lot of things again, and i dont want to box myself into one passion or the other. im a lot of things and i want to give myself space to love all of the things that i love. and robots are one of those things, but not the only one.

blitzbee forever. i will die a dirty bee kinnie and a blitzy simp.

#suna speaks

[tiffanylamps]

🔥🔥🔥🔥 of course, some beyond evil hot takes 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but also, what is some controversial opinion that you have about something entirely mundane :^0

ask me ask me ask me baby (Disclaimer: I started writing this, then had dinner, watched an episode of Bros on Foot, then had a shower and now I'm pretty exhausted (thanks rona + bad health). So my answers may seem a lil disorganised... they most likely are) Oh, gosh. I don't think I have that many opinions that are actually controversial when discussing be. But I shall still give it a go. I going to put a break here 'cause I really didn't know when to shut up. Also, sorry Iva but I feel like my answers are things we've already spoken about. So, I don't think any of this is new information to you 😩 TL;DR: Dong Sik and Joo Won shouldn't be represented by one aspect of their character. They're more complicated than that. (Including a mundane opinion at the end) (please excuse any weird funny business in this post (writing, grammar, spelling, clarity), we're trying our best here at Lamps HQ)

i. We as a fandom baby Dong Sik too much. I love Dong Sik. I adore him. He has seen and experienced far too many traumas, and I want nothing but good things for him in his future. What happened to him and his family when he was 20 was a tragedy that could have been avoided if the system (which should be in place to aid victims) wasn't systemically corrupt. He was beaten by police officers whilst in custody. He was framed and belittled, degraded, and humiliated. (the trauma he experienced is so layered and would take a lifetime for him to unpack and get closure from).

It almost completely ruined his life and future prospects, and it would have been done if Nam Sang Bae hadn't come in with his lvl 100 guilt and tried to make up for his actions. Dong Sik tried to make the best out of the awful circumstances that befell him and I sincerely admire him. Not everyone is as kind and loving as Dong Sik.... But but but... Buuuuut that doesn't absolve him of his actions. He murdered someone with his bare hands and allowed the system that was once put against him to be used in his favour.

Police officers shouldn't be murdering civilians. full stop. Yes, he was emotionally compromised- technically it could be seen as self-defence, but an unconvicted man, a suspect, was murdered and Dong Sik didn't face repercussions. Nam Sang Bae skewed the evidence so Dong Sik didn't get into trouble. Dong Sik took a year (?) off work after that event and to "help" him recover, Sang Bae got Dong Sik transferred to his substation (which Sang Bae had been demoted to as a result of one of his rookies dying on the job. Although, it wasn't deemed much of a punishment considering he was so close to retiring anyway). All the while, Dong Sik feels justified for his actions (as he did when he moved Min Jeong's fingers). (Screenshots from the translated script book/author's notes doc)

I think it's best that when discussing and exploring Dong Sik's character, we remember that he is a man capable of murder. He is a murderer. (Do I blame him for what he did? No, not really. I can see why he did it. Objectively, I fucking love it for the narrative lol). But yeah, he isn't a guiltless sweet baby angel who never did anything wrong in his life. (DISCLAIMER: obviously jokes are just jokes. I love them and I never want them to stop. I am super guilty of participating in this line of joking and I'm not about to stop any time soon. But when discussing DS in serious conversations, we shouldn't erase his history. By doing that, we are devoiding him of agency and retribution (which is one of the main arcs/themes of his character development)).

ii. Joo Won is autistic and people need to stop calling him stupid. I will die on this hill, I don't care. I fully encourage everyone to bully Joo Won, because, well, he fucking deserves it. I know that bullying him is a hilarious love language the fandom has developed and I fully participate in this pastime. I honestly love it. Yes, he has done a lot wrong and shouldn't be absolved of his sins (that being said, we should allow him the space to learn and grow. We should learn to forgive whilst still keeping him and ourselves in check). But where I draw the line is when people outright laugh at his characteristics/actions which are derived from the fact that Joo Won is coded as autistic.

I know not everyone is going to be particularly versed in neurodivergent symptoms and that is completely fine. I even didn't fully clock Joo Won being autistic the first time I watched the show- I "labelled" his actions as a result of one) his obscenely privileged upbringing and two) the fact that he (imo) has some degree of OCD (which is a type of anxiety disorder). Then it hit me one day that he is soooo autistic. A few examples (I'm too ill to list each one or go into full detail): 1- People say that he's a bad detective. Which, ugh. 2- That he should have seen the "obvious" signs that Dong Sik wasn't the killer earlier. This sentiment completely ignores the timeline of the show and the fact that the viewer is provided information that Joo Won doesn't have access to. And it also removes Dong Sik's accountability for being purposely obtuse and antagonistic. 3- the whole (very minor) narrative that joo won is lame because he has terrible people skills (or something along those lines, I can't quite remember the tags I read as it was a while ago). This one, in particular, ties in with Joo Won's autism coding. With a (relatively sound) understanding of what autism looks like in male adults, to me, it would seem that a lot of what Joo Won does (speaking bluntly, getting easily confused when provided a lot of information during an intense situation, overwhelm, struggling to gauge people's emotions/tone, being very black and white, hyper focussing on a topic of interest, struggling to adapt to new social environments, masking, issues with food and sensory stimulation, etc) can be credited to autism. Perhaps I'm connecting dots that don't exist and am projecting an ideal onto his character, but as someone who grew up with multiple friends and family members who are neurodiverse (and is neurodiverse myself), I can see so many similarities between Joo Won's actions, thought processes, and mannerisms to that of a person with autism.

^ (credit) here is an overview of some characteristics of autism in adults (obviously, it's a complex topic which differs from person to person. But I can definitely connect many of these examples to joo won's character and actions). [I feel like I could say a lot more about this subject, but it would be distracting away from the original point. I have thoughts on Joo Won masking and how he struggles to mask around Dong Sik]

How does this relate to Joo Won being "stupid"? One may ask. I will try to explain it as best I can (even though I don't fully have my answer planned out). Labelling Joo Won as stupid, as a stuck-up nepo baby who did nothing for the storyline, or just a useless dolt that needed Dong Sik to spoon-feed him, completely misconstrues the source material. Joo Won is intelligent, hard-working, determined, stubborn, foolish, annoying, pompous, proud, narrow-minded, snobby, short-sighted, dedicated, loyal, loving, persistent, and perceptible to change (and even more than that). We wouldn't have a story if Joo Won was stupid. We wouldn't have a conclusion if Joo Won was stupid. Downplaying Joo Won's intelligence and chalking up his characteristics as something that makes him less-than does a complete disservice to his character as well as his importance within the story. Beyond Evil is a story with TWO leads. It's not the Dong Sik show. I can NEVER subscribe to the act of bringing one character down in order to hold another up. Dong Sik is not this all-seeing, all-knowing, flawless character. If he was, he would have never been framed for murder, he wouldn't have been stuck for 20 years, and he wouldn't have needed help in uncovering the truth. He needed Joo Won (and Ji Hwa, Jae Yi, Jung Je, Ji Hoon, Du Soo, Sang Bae, etc). Without Joo Won, he may have never found out the full truth of what happened to his sister (as how many people in his life had a part to play in the traumas he faced). So, I think it's about time that people start to recognise Joo Won as a neurodivergent character (and stop giving him a hard time for not seeing signs that WE were given), as well as stop downplaying him. Kim Soo Jin, Sim Na Yeon, and Yeo Jin Goo created such a multi-dimensional, complex, flawed character with good and bad qualities, it does a disservice to their creativity and hard work when one belittles Joo Won down to one descriptor. Dong Sik and Joo Won aren't just the idiot and the downtrodden. They're more than that and fan interpretation shouldn't rewrite the facts of the show.

Anyway... there's a point in there somewhere... I think... I have no idea if I managed to construct a reply that makes sense. I don't think I fully relayed all my thoughts on this particular matter, but we live. tbh, I feel very icky when an autistic character gets labelled as stupid or useless. It gets on my nerves and if it wasn't obvious, I am pretty protective of Joo Won (maybe I shouldn't be, but... well... here we are!). Also, as a note: I don't expect anyone to agree with my opinion that Joo Won is autistic. But yeah, I was going to include more "controversial" opinions for be, but I have already said way too much. This post reads like a rant - which it probably is - and I don't want it to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's not an attack, it's just my opinion.

As for the mundane opinion: iii. kiwis are the scum of the fruit world. They're nasty and a lot of effort to eat (considering they don't taste great), and their texture is gross. But I do think their furry shell is pretty neat, even if it makes my skin cruel. (idk why this was the first thing that came to mind lol)

(sorry Iva. Maybe one day I will learn how to give short answers😂🫣)

#ask answered #ask game #chatty lamps #thank you <3 #beyond evil #i'm ill and yet I manage to write this beast of a post. this is what this show has done to me. i just can't help myself 😂 #i do have more opinions for be that are less intense and a lot more fun but... i guess i wanted to have a bitch and moan #as a pre-emptive warning: #rn i will not be taking constructive criticisms. maybe in the future. but right now??? I'm trying not to be miserable #soooo if anyone thinks i suck for what i wrote then... 🤷‍♀️ idk... maybe keep it to yourself

[finalgirl1984]

Having some more thoughts about the potentials. I know the potentials are kind of hated and I do think that they are underdeveloped characters, but I think a lot of the stuff that they're "annoying" for can be boiled down to "teenager is going to teenager". and besides that they do have legitimate reasons to be upset. I know a lot of people hate the scene were buffy gets kicked out and to an extent I agree. The thing about this is that the potentials, Kennedy and Rona being the main talkers here, and robin too for that matter, don’t know buffy. They don’t know any of these people. I’m not sure what timeframe season seven takes place in but I assumed it was a few months. They might have heard second hand about her heroics, but that's different from being there. She's still a stranger, a stranger that led some of them to their deaths at this point. Why would they go into the same death trap as before, based on the gut feeling of someone they don't know?

I think another important aspect is that buffy has had years of experience at this point and perhaps most importantly, literal superpowers. I guess it could be argued that potentials are inherently a little stronger than normal humans, but they don’t get activated until the final battle and even with powers many of them still die and get hurt. Before that these were at best kind of athletic teenagers, only some of which have any kind of fighting training. Of course they're scared and reluctant.

Buffy is by far my favorite character, but with the way she was in season 7, the girls had no reason to trust her. she let spike, who was still under the influence of the first, stay chained up in the basement, just one short flight of stairs away from where they were sleeping. Not to mention that whole speech after the one girl killed herself. Sure, she’s letting them stay in her house, but it's not exactly like they were begging to be there. Rona in particular specifically says that she came there to be safe not fight. They don't want to be there, they have to be.

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #the potentials

[wispstalk]

morning

a scene featuring a few survivors of Kvatch, trying their best to go on with their lives. ~1000 words. cw: mention of severe injuries and deaths

---

When Rona wakes she forgets it happened. She expects to be under her favorite old quilt, straw poking through the worn ticking of her mattress, staring up at the crack in her ceiling that looks a bit like a heron in flight. Gianna’s soft breathing, always to the left. Outside, the first stirrings as Kvatch wakes with the dawn: frogs peeping and hens burbling, carts rolling by on their way to the meat market, the scent of coffee wafting over from the stall around the corner.

But overhead is a blank slope of canvas. Nothing but a couple of deer hides between her and the ground, and no warmth beside her. No Kvatch, either, just the miserable hush of the camp. She hadn’t been dreaming of the city, nor her fiancee— no, it was the sunflower dream again.

In the chapel, delirious from blood loss. Golden petals morphing into wild blonde curls. The woman who brought a cloth to bite down on, so the poor beleaguered priest could saw off the mangled ruin below Rona's knee. That woman kept her from thrashing with one strong arm, and gently stroked her hair with the other, until the pain pulled her under. But just before that all-consuming blackness, she saw a sunflower— thought perhaps someone had brought her to die under the last of this summer’s blooms, which was thoughtful of them.

But she woke again. Here in the camp, with all the other hollow-eyed survivors. Propped up near a fire and wrapped in what must have been a horse blanket. Woozy, chewing black willow bark that did nothing for the dull, throbbing ache in her leg— her stump, she’d bitterly corrected herself— when the sunflower flashed in her vision again and she looked up to see that same woman. It’ll be all right, the woman said. They’ll look out for you, and you’ll look out for them.

There are others who have it worse, Rona knows. Half her leg missing, and Gianna entombed in the ruins of their little rented hovel. But there are some who share this makeshift medic’s tent whose burnt flesh is warped like wet clay, some in the fevered claws of skooma withdrawal, some who will never walk again. She can, at least, take a crutch and hobble out to the cookfire or the privy.

And all of them lost someone. All of them have no home— only this camp, in the shadow of its husk.

She presses the heels of her hands into her eyes. It’s not good to start the morning off like this. The old healer Oleta often urges her to walk as much as she can, to keep her intact leg strong, to get used to the crutch, but damn it all— she isn’t up for it today. The first strains of sunlight seeping through the tent flap feel hateful.

But when she blinks her eyes open again, a scrawny mop-headed Orcish boy is staring down at her.

“Hi,” he blurts. “I’m Makob.”

She places a finger to her lips, and gestures at the sleeping convalescents around her. “Hello, little one. Are you looking for Oleta?”

“No, you. You’re the lady with one leg,” he declares in a stage whisper. “Are you Cori’s friend?”

“Cori?”

“Her real name is…um… Corar…di. She’s a bossimer with yellow hair.”

“Bosmer,” Rona murmurs, blinking. “Um— well, no, I’m afraid I don’t know her. But she saved me. She and Brother Martin.”

“Brother Martin, is that the priest?” The boy crouches on the trampled grass beside her bedroll. “Big Makob said that priest left with the Hero, and Cori did too. But she talked to you first.”

Rona had been unconscious for the duration of these apparent heroics; she gathers the siege was lifted by a whirlwind, an avenging spirit sent by the gods, or some bloodthirsty beast-man, depending on who’s telling the story.

“Well, she’s my friend,” Makob informs her, “and she saved me, too. There was a big crash,” — he flings his arms overhead in a wide arc— “and she grabbed me and Big Makob out of our tent and made us go out with the city watch. But she wouldn’t come with us. And I didn’t get to… how come she said goodbye to you and not to me?”

His voice quavers well above a whisper, and his lip trembles. A tent— he must have lived in the slums by the southern wall. And so, it follows, did the sunflower woman. So that’s one more thing she knows about her savior.

She lays a gentling hand on his arm. “Mind your volume, tadpole. Come, why don’t you fetch me my crutch and we can go sit by the fire and talk?”

He wipes his nose on his sleeve, raven-black curls flopping into his eyes, and darts off to get it.

Few are up at this hour. The scavenging group sits clustered around the fire, cooling their heels, returned from combing the city for supplies. A grim lot. Arkay only knows what horrors they find among the rubble. And Oleta is awake, heating water in a dented copper pot. The healer blinks in surprise as Rona approaches, then her face softens into a warm smile.

One of the scavengers, a grizzled old woman with a shorn head and an eyepatch, wordlessly offers an arm to steady Rona as she lowers herself to the grass. Makob plops down beside her.

Free from the quiet of the medical tent, he launches into a garbled secondhand story about the Hero of Kvatch. Then it's onto wild speculation about why this man might have left with their own — less notorious — hero. Oleta and the scavengers listen to him weave his epic tale, faint smiles playing on their weary faces.

Rona nods along, occasionally prompting him with questions, until a nutty scent catches her attention. The same rich dark aroma that used to drift through her shutters, early in the mornings.

“By the Nine,” she blurts. “Someone found coffee?”

Across the fire, Oleta grins. The grizzled old woman shares a triumphant glance with her colleagues. Rona lets out a delighted laugh, and flings her arms around Makob, squeezing him tight until he squirms free. Among all this mourning, coffee is a tiny joy, but she will hoard every crumb she’s offered— like the innocent bluntness of a child; like the silent offer of help from a stranger; like the memory of a bright sunflower, turning its exuberant face to the light.

#tes oblivion #elder scrolls #ray writes #oc: coradri #oc: rona

[tuiyla]

Re: the mutiny scene... Was Buffy's plan to return to the vineyard too risky? Yes. Were the Potentials justified in rejecting Buffy's authority considering that they're in a life and death situation and that Buffy hasn't proved that she's capable of protecting them? Yes. I don't think she's 100% in the right.

However,

1) Why is Buffy the one being kicked out of HER OWN house? Dawn says that it's her house too and so Buffy should leave it, which is so absurd... Imagine thinking you have the right to tell your parent(al figure) - the one paying the bills and providing for you - to leave the house??? So ludicrous. If Dawn and the Potentials are unhappy with Buffy, they should be the ones leaving! Also, Buffy leaving is counterproductive because at the end of the day she is still the strongest Slayer and the group is weakened without her.

2) Why couldn't Willow and Xander pull Buffy aside and talk it out privately instead of allowing such drastic decisions to be made so abruptly? Why are they okay with Faith (who previously tried to murder both of them) taking over as the leader? It's not like they saw her redemption arc take place afterwards. (I agree with you that it makes no sense to bring up whatever Willow did in the past to criticize her in this situation, though)

3) Again, even though I don't think Buffy was 100% in the right, the way some of these characters treated her in the scene was infuriating to me. Anya telling her that Buffy is "luckier" than everyone and completely disregarding the pain and suffering caused by the responsibilities that being the Slayer entails? I think that's the only time in the whole show that I truly disliked Anya. Kennedy was also brash and irritating in the scene and Rona saying "ding dong the witch is dead" was soooo nasty, ugh.

So yeah, imo the 7x19 mutiny is actually more (a lot more) atrocious than the 3x02 discussion because, even though Buffy isn't entirely in the right in the former, the team kicking her out of her own house was completely out of proportion and multiple characters (especially Rona and Anya, but also Kennedy and to a lesser extent Dawn) were getting on my nerves vs. only Xander in 3x02. It's also different because I can personally cut Xander (and Dawn) some slack for what he said in 3x02 by remembering that he ultimately loves Buffy and has her best interests at heart, whereas Anya (even though I love her otherwise) and Rona don't care about Buffy in the same way, so their cruel comments always piss me off more.

I wanna preface this by saying I don't actually disagree with most of what you're saying, if any of it, and I appreciate that you took the time to write this out. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're not prev Anon haha and see this, this is something I can work with.

Before I reflect on any of your points I also want to say that I think the only reason my posts can come across as anti-Buffy in this context is because I dislike both the show's and fandom's framing of events and, I suppose, tried to counterbalance. Because the thing is, Buffy's friends' reaction is so over the top and her getting kicked out so blatantly ridiculous that yeah, there's an urge to come to her defense. But I think in discussions of the mutiny scene (from what I have witnessed) the nuance gets lost in the extreme measure taken. It's like this: person A and B have a disagreement. They're both your friends and you think they're both coming from a place of truth, even if one is maybe more right than the other. But it's a silly thing, until person B hits person A with "you should kys and I hope your pets die" and you're like, woah!! Okay that's simply just too far, you cannot in good conscience side with person B anymore, no matter how right they were before taking it way too far.

And it's a faulty analogy, sure, but hear me out. I'm a bit wary of the nuance of the mutiny situation getting lost because Buffy is so obviously outnumbered and so obviously wronged at the end there, of course she'll come across as a victim no matter what. And I don't think she deserved that! I don't think she deserved to be overthrown by vote of the Potentials and her friends and most definitely didn't deserve to be told to leave by her sister. Whatever her mistakes might have been and no matter how she misread the situation and somewhat dug her own grave here, the attitude she gets comes across and ungrateful and hypocritical. But questioning her also isn't entirely wrong, and that is the approach I've seen from fans ("she was 100% right") and lowkey from the following episode of the show itself.

Now, to your points.

Yep, 100% taking it too far. To be honest, I think this is a symptom of the show's slight main character problem. That is, everything has to relate to Buffy in some way or another and she takes precedence over other chs, always, including their arcs and actions. I don't think it's all that realistic that Dawn would exercise the symbolic right she also has as the only other Summers in the house. Do I buy that she would be able to see the Potentials' point more and empathize with their fear, sure. Even empathize with their concerns about Buffy's leadership. But she wouldn't kick her sister out just so they could be united in everything. Buffy needed to be kicked out to serve Buffy's story, ultimately, and the larger narrative. Not a single one of the other chs come off as a good guy after the encounter, arguably Faith being the closest. So yeah, ludicrous. But I'm hesitant to hold it against Dawn's ch or even take the action seriously because it feels very plot driven to me and the only ch driven part is Buffy herself, who gets to be proven right and elevated by Spike in the following ep. And because of that loss of nuance thing I've mentioned, it doesn't sit entirely well with me. Cause yeah, Buffy was unjustly treated here but that doesn't mean she was entirely in the right, either. The extreme situation just erases nuance.

Feel like I've already used up most of my talking points lol but let's reflect on all of yours. I would guess that the reason for Willow and Xander not supporting Buffy in this situation is a direct result of the previous ep. You can agree, you can disagree, but unlike with Dawn I do think this fits with their chs more than just being purely a plot thing. Xander was essentially maimed as a result of Buffy's orders and she's asking them to do the same thing again. All things considered, yes, Willow and Xander could have been more considerate of Buffy and, as her oldest friends and closest allies, prevented such an escalation. But I'm willing to cut them both slack here, unlike I was for Xander in 3x02. (3x02, to me, is a more outrageous instance of people ganging up on Buffy but this post is gon be long enough as is.) Besides, Willow and Xander are rather passive participants here. Willow's biggest contribution is admitting that she's not standing up for Buffy this time around and Xander doesn't speak until the end, even then he's more measured than Xander usually is in situations like this. On the Faith of it all, I think we were robbed of a proper Willow and Faith reunion on AtS and I agree that we should have seen more hesitation from them to trust Faith, but I also overall buy that they're so deflated they're willing to let the Potentials pick.

Again, agree. I think Rona was so, so over the line and Dawn was right to tell her off. I've mentioned previously that the overall attitude of the Potentials is that they're quite ungrateful towards Buffy, the sole reason they're all still alive. So I wouldn't excuse Rona or even Kennedy's self-righteousness, but the Potentials are also a bunch of scared little girls who had two friends die, and Rona's arm was fully broken at the vineyard Buffy proposes they go right back to. Her attitude is infuriating, yes, and she deserved more than a death glare for her witch is dead comment. I'm surprised Willow didn't also shoot her one. Nasty nasty, but you can kiinda see where the attitude is coming from. As for Anya, yeah, I do think she was out of line and, for once, her observation wasn't just blunt but flat out incorrect. Anya's characterization was sacrificed as much as Dawn's was here, imo, as just a few eps prior Anya was fully aware of the "short and brutal life" being a Slayer entailed. So it doesn't make sense that she'd be calling Buffy lucky now even if she is fed up with the superiority complex. Which Buffy admittedly does have.

Bottom line is that I agree, it was entirely out of proportion to kick her out. And that might just be my exact problem, because I feel like the only reason for it was to set up her then being right and in the victim position and negates the valid points and feelings of the other side. It can't be justified, of course not, but for people (not you) to then turn around and based on this disregard the reasons why Buffy got called out doesn't sit right with me, either. I do think the series itself lost sight of its nuance with that move and the subsequent episode's focus on Spike's indignant anger. I find it interesting that you bring up the 3x02 comparison and I already touched on it, and like I said this is way long already but rest assured I have thoughts on that as well. For me, personally, that was more annoying and I was way more unquestionably on Buffy's side because the conclusion was "both sides were wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" when the ganging up felt way more unjustified. Xander himself comes across as way, waaaay less douchy here and I can probs understand his pov the most, as he was the one to inspire confidence in Buffy last time she rallied the troops and look where that got him. No wonder he doesn't have the capacity to bridge the gap between Buff and the Potentials this time around.

And then there's Faith's role in all of this. Which is a whole other story and one I'm probs more passionate and defensive about haha.

#that was a lot #i really appreciate your willingness to write all this out and a have a convo anon #again bottom line is that i actually agree with you on most if not all #it's just the framing and the fandom's attitude is like eh to me #i'm also a willow and faith defender first a btvs fan second ahskjahkj #buffy asks #anon #the mutiny Thing™

[kyliafanfiction]

Hi there! this is tash from BtVSPolls. It's not often I run into someone who has a positive view of the potentials, and I was just wondering if you would mind expanding on that a little bit. No worries if not though!

I don't have a positive view of them, I just don't have a negative view. I'm aggressively neutral about them. As a whole, they could do some annoying stuff (and who on the show doesn't?), but they brought some interesting perspectives to the story, and they honestly weren't that bad as characters.

I mean, apart from Kennedy (who actually got something that resembles development and depth) and Chao-Ahn (who stands out for dying) and Rona (who stands out for being the only black girl), barely even remember the names of any of the others without prompting. Felicia Day played one and she seems to have done really well with that, and good for her, but...

Like, my view of them is mostly one giant shrug emoji. Even at their worst, such as it is, I wouldn't remotely feel strongly enough about them to want to gnaw my arm off.

Obviously the potentials were part and parcel of their effort to find a spin-off that would work, when their other ideas didn't land, but they also served for an interesting story, exploring how being a potential works, council-raised and otherwise, and of course, the whole 'every potential becomes a Slayer' thing wouldn't have worked without some of them being present on the show for a while, and I absolutely think the mass-slayerification was essential. The other choices are that Buffy and Faith are going to die Slayers, or they never, ever, ever get to retire, even when they're old, or if they end up having kids (granted, I don't see Faith deliberately having kids, though I do think Buffy is generally interested in the idea, though I don't think it's a requirement for her or anything).

That or we have a series of slayers almost dying over and over again to make more Slayers and that feels like tempting fate in it's own way.

But like, the mess the comics made of it aside, more Slayers is good, and that couldn't have happened in the show without there being more potentials in the first place.

So yeah... shrug. They're okay. I feel pretty neutral on them.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Asked and Answered #The Potentials

[starkcanvas]

Ethereal Route

When you die, do you arrive in a random area of your respective plane or in a specific part of it?

Neither! In ER, when you die, your spirit forms mere seconds after in the spot you died in.

So Mari, in this AU, I hc she died when falling down the stairs due to breaking her neck. So she first wakes up as a ghost at the bottom of the staircase. Her not even realizing she’s dead until her hand phased through Sunny when she reached out to him after he gets closer.

For Matt, he wakes up right in his room after his father fully strangled him. Rona wakes up in hers after her heart attack, Ash wakes up in her hospital room but feeling full of energy due to her heart not being a problem anymore.

And then Ray, he is slightly knocked unconscious for a while as a ghost, but who wouldn’t after literally getting the life knocked out of them by getting sliced into pieces from a car train collision?

As for how these new ghosts get to The Afterlife, before Klaus and Del came into the picture, it was Mr. Grimm and his army who had to be the spirit guides. But doing that almost all the time made it so that any paperwork Mr. Grimm needed to do barely ever get done.

But after Klaus and Del die, after Grimm takes the two of them to The Afterlife, Del’s businessman negotiating sparks when talking with Grimm and that’s how Grimm accepted their help. In fact, he welcomed it since it allowed him to have a more orderly and predictable schedule.

Nowadays, new ghosts are taken to The Afterlife through Klaus’s Paranormal Moving Company :) which has hundreds of thousands of ghosts working for it since people always say: at least one person dies a day. So they’re always busy.

Klaus’s company is able to do what they do though because of their form of transportation. With the help of Mr. Grimm, Del was able to design lines of vehicles that had the ability to travel through different dimensions. Since that’s what the Afterlife is. A little pocket dimension infinity expanding for people who’ve passed on.

(Hope I did my best to make sense of this lol answering this ask like, just after waking up from a nap xD)

#omori #omori game #omori spoilers #omori au #omori: ethereal route #omori mari #omori: oc #omori klaus #omori wendell #omori ashley #omori matthew #omori raymond #omori veronica #ask response #text post #text response #mod mack #mod ask

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

rona update: feel less rough than last night, when my fever hit 101.3 last i checked and i also registered a positive test; i was at 99.5 this morning, which is sort of borderline for a fever although i tend to run cold. last night was like, i need the a/c blasting and also to be under my blanket and also everything hurts (also i was like “if i don’t order salt and vinegar chips from this delivery app i’m gonna die” which apparently salt cravings while feverish are like a thing because of electrolytes or whatever?); currently i do not feel that, but my throat hurts in a way i previously have only ever associated with strep, which, for those of you who haven’t had strep as an adult because you never taught first grade, is a very sharp and unpleasant pain. i feel moderately more personlike but not enough to actually do anything and also not sleepy enough to go back to sleep, so the Illness Boredom is starting to kick in. i am considering rewatching the hulu fyre festival documentary to pass the time between now and my next nap.