Tumgik
#if you don't then go follow one of the side blogs at your leisure
addmoneyonline · 1 year
Text
Make 1000$ Per Month With Freelancing #1 :How To Start
It's normal to be nervous and unsure about taking the plunge and starting a freelance business. When they first start out, all freelancers have the same feelings.
But you know you have to; it's your entrepreneurial mindset, that yearning to be your own boss, doing what you love and doing it your way.
And it is because of those emotions that you will succeed.
All you need at first is some direction on which steps to take first.
Steps to help you leap and land on your feet in the world of freelancing.
1. Know Your Why – Know Your Way
Tumblr media
Define your goals and fully understand what you want from your business before embarking on your journey.
Consider the following questions:
What am I thinking? - (Being my own boss, setting my own hours, and spending more time with my family?)
What do I hope to gain from it? - (Is it a side hustle or a full-time job?)
Where do I want to go? - (Do you want to keep working as a freelancer or start a company with employees?)
What am I willing to invest? - (How many hours per day, days per week, am I willing to make sacrifices?)
Be completely honest with yourself because making statements you can't commit to only serves as a reminder of failure and erodes self-belief.
Set your objectives next.
Smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound.
Have both short-term (this week/month/quarterly) and long-term (annually) goals (something you have to do consistently).
Set your goals the night before and make a plan for each day. Examine your results on a daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. You'll be able to see where you're succeeding and where you're not, and you'll be able to adjust accordingly.
You can now begin your journey:
2. Choose A Profitable Niche
Tumblr media
"But I know what I want to freelance in," you may say, but that is not your niche.
Every market has numerous niches, and choosing a profitable one is critical if you want to earn a living.
Assume you're a freelance writer. Because of their geographical location and lower living costs, people are willing to charge less than you. If you only advertise on the same platforms as they do (for example, Fiverr - Upwork), you'll either work for peanuts or give up.
However, there are numerous niches in the writing world (Ghost-writing, white-papers, blog-posts, long-form content, etc.) And the most profitable ones hire the best writers rather than the cheapest.
3. Design a business logo
Just because you're new doesn't mean you have to look it; in fact, it's because of this that you should think about branding, starting with a logo.
Why do you require one?
You'll be contacting potential employers via email if you don't have a website or a social media account.
You can also use a signature to give your account a more professional appearance. You will be able to add a logo, a personal photo, a description, and your contact information to your email platform. This increases your chances of capturing the attention of the intended reader. 
4. Set up a website and social profiles
Tumblr media
It is critical to establish an online presence for yourself. Clients must be able to look at your work and quickly locate you. It is fairly simple to maintain a basic website. To begin, you don't need anything fancy; just a place to showcase your best work and provide contact information.
5. Focus on productivity
Tumblr media
Freelancers will frequently tell you that, while working at your leisure sounds appealing, there are a few disadvantages. For some, solitude can become lonely. Employees in an office can talk to coworkers between projects, but freelancers working remotely cannot. On the other hand, freelancers are not subject to office politics.
Set up an in-home office or find another location where you can focus and get work done for maximum productivity. The lack of a boss down the hall may be a plus, but it also means you must manage deadlines and productivity on your own.
6. Find customers and build your client base
Tumblr media
Now that you've identified profitable niches, created a logo, established your website and social profiles, and established your pricing structure, it's time to find customers and begin building your client base.
But, since you're new to the game, how will you approach it?
If you already know some of your future clients or are completely in the dark, a fishing net approach rather than a fishing hook may be your best bet at this early stage. The goal is to get your first job and get started.
The location of your client will be determined by your market. You can reach them through their website, social media platforms, or email. Another option is to sign up for a paid membership platform.
Paid platforms, unlike their free counterparts, provide a service for a fee and serve as a meeting place for professionals.
Once you're working, you can narrow down your target client list by selecting only dependable clients who provide consistent, well-paid work.
4 notes · View notes
sio-writes · 5 months
Text
I was tagged by @mundanemoongirl (at least I hope it was meant for this blog! I don't post writing to my parent blog) for a snippet of work I'm proud of!
I'm going to tag @vaya-writes and @monsterkisserlove and everyone who wants to follow up!
This a scene with Lorphyra (my dnd character) meeting her husband! She's been my muse for a while now, so I'm excited to share this!
The hall leading to the war room has always been permeated by the sound of dripping water; a quick, even tempo that starts at the stairwell and lasts until Lorphyra enters the room, and then it goes silent. It's a comfort, the plink of water on hard stone, almost like a guide from her quarters to the room where she's most needed.
She's timed her steps to it once, even wearing soft shoes so the click of her boots wouldn't throw off the count. Fifteen to make it up the stairs, and thirty-seven to walk to the doorway. The councilman waits between five and ten to open the door after she knocks.
It's a reliable routine, a bit of control she exudes over herself.
The door swings open, and she's ashamed to see that she's the last to arrive. The messenger raven had awoken her from a rather pleasant nap, and she'd been slow to wake up.
His Majesty Harrowind sits at the head of the large strategy table, flanked by two personal guards. The grand councilman is to the right, glaring at her as if she were a bug under his shoe, and she returns the look with added disgust.
"Come in, dear, come in," His Majesty beckons to her, and she steps inside.
The strategy table takes up the majority of the room, a rectangular beast of a thing, containing a map she can read with her eyes closed. A map of Csareni, the surrounding countries of Jakoria, Branchan and Lazarun, and small stanchions to denote the placement of troops and bases. The walls of the room are lousy with armor and loot.
The king is reclined, leisuring in his stiff metal throne. He's leaning heavily to one side, legs spread, and one large hand propping up his cheek. He's dressed informally, only a tunic and doublet over dark pants that cover his artificial leg. His hair is in simple braids pulled back in a knot, and all his jewelry is stowed away. The fact that he also seems to have just woken up, and seeing not a piece of armor on him tells Lorphyra that this meeting is a casual one and, more importantly, could have been sent through a messenger raven.
Ah, well. She had no plans today. Practice her sword form, tend to the garden hanging off her windowsill, maybe go shopping in town for a pair of new boots. But serving the King outweighs all of that, and she's happy to assist in any way. Even if that way is inefficient and takes up her time.
Something else catches her attention, though. There's an extra body in the room.
Lorphyra noted him when she walked in, but paid him little mind since people come in and out all the time. He's a tall man, filled out at the shoulders, with dark auburn hair pulled into a knot at the base of his skull. He's wearing the plate armor of high command, layered steel and gold embossed with delicate runes, and Csareni's insignia stamped into the chestplate and on both shoulders. A general, then.
Lorphyra's time as a tactical advisor has gone on for nearly a century now, she's seen so many faces come and go that they tend to blur together. But this one, she'd definitely have remembered meeting. Handsome, yet punchable. He had turned to her once she'd walked into the room, and his deep blue eyes had never left her. It wasn't a lecherous stare, but one of curiosity, wonder.
"Hello," Mystery General says, extending one large hand over the table. "What's your name?"
"General," Harrowind snaps. "You claimed you had news regarding the upper range."
The General stands up straight, finally tearing his gaze from Lorphyra and landing on the king. "Yes, your Majesty." He steps around the table, searching for the location his troops were stationed.
"This region here," the General says, pointing to an area just south of the border of Jakoria. "Beyond the river. My troops and I surveyed before advancing, and the hills are gone."
Harrowind frowns, rubbing his grizzled chin. "Gone."
The general huffs a laugh, his smile not at all charming and boyish. "Blown apart, actually. They either have a lot of magic users or a few very powerful ones. The entire hills have been laid flat."
Lorphyra turns to Harrowind. "Your Majesty, we lose both cover and height advantage if they plan to attack from the plains which, knowing Therugi, will be his first move."
A moment passes by, where the king and the general share a look, and then His Majesty leans forward, hand on his chin in thought. "You mean to take the flatlands, general?"
Lorphyra throws a questioning look at the general, who nods. Harrowind switches his gaze to her, and gestures down at the map.
Shifting her focus on what to do next, Lorphyra feels the mechanisms of her mind beginning to wake up, and they begin to plan their next steps.
***
Lorphyra exits the room with a headache, pounding in time with the now incessant drip of water throughout the halls.
The general slams the door behind him with a bang, making her temples throb.
"My lady, if I may," he says, keeping up with her hurried steps. He's easily a head taller than she, and his boots clank against the stone. His voice is deep, a pleasant rumble she could sink into if she's not careful.
"You may not, General," she says, keeping her head down. The less she sees of him, the better. "Negotiations are for the council."
"I simply don't think cutting through a civilian area will yield goodwill towards the crown."
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "They should be honored to serve their king."
"That's not how they'll see it."
She stops short, and he stumbles over his feet to round on her. "And what would you know of that, general?"
He plants his hands on his hips, regarding her cooly. "I know my people, my lady. More than those of us that sit in towers moving troops around like livestock."
It is a show of great restraint not to plant her fist in his smug face. She grits her teeth and pushes past him. "You're a fool."
Again, he follows behind her. "A fool with the trust of his soldiers."
"They don't need trust. They need to follow orders."
He flinches like he's been hit. "That's cold."
"We're at war, General. There's no room to be soft."
"Empathy is what makes us, my lady, what separates us from chaos. I take care of my soldiers so they take care of each other."
She stops at the top of the steps, through with this condescension. "Are you quite done?"
He grins at her, as if the past few minutes haven't been full of biting back and forth. "I still don't know your name."
It's her third test to refrain from pushing him down the stairs.
0 notes
theji · 3 years
Text
Things Yizhan Made Me Do
It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛
To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).
Tumblr media
1. Start a blog
And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.
2. Join a fandom
I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.
3. Indulge in RPS
I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.
4. Use Chinese apps
Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.
5. Read fan fic
I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!
6. Willingly read Chinese
Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.
7. Act like a cougar
In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.
8. Buy merch
Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.
9. Keeping a Yizhan archive
Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?
10. Camp for livestreams
I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.
11. Watch c entertainment
I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?
12. Write fan mail
I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha
13. Desire to visit China
China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!
Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.
Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋
47 notes · View notes
myriadxofxmuses · 3 years
Text
Active muses:
OCs: Ethan (*disclaimer: he is NOT nice. Dark and triggering muse), Ofreyja, Sydney, Gage,  Ivy, Silas (bassist in Gage's band. BIO LINK TEMPORARY.) , Emily , Oscar
Canon: Daryl Dixon, Joker (OCs & Harley Quinns only, no real bio, mix of Suicide Squad, Dark Knight, and Arkham video games. Triggering muse. Selective.), Dean Winchester, Johanna Mason
NPC: Sam Winchester (I will automatically write him alongside Dean), Rick Grimes (Automatic with Daryl as needed.), Adam and Liam (Gage and Silas' bandmates)
Test muses: Eirwen (THG OC)
Hey guys! Mo Mo here. I'll be your mun/your guide for this lovely little blog space. It is a side blog, so unfortunately you won't see my name on your followers list. (@mo-mo-and-porkchop is what will show.)
A little about me, I was born in '85 - old as shit for here I know. I'm a gothy, nerdy, socially awkward, busy, hot mess of a human. I have a family and a FT job, so my activity on here can get spotty. I do run on a queue and I do replies mostly from oldest draft to newest unless my muse is high for specific threads/muses.
I hate that I have to add this in, but I feel like it has caused issues in the past - I have OCD, ADHD, and BPD. I try very hard not to bring it up, but I struggle with these on a daily basis. To top it off I had a TBI at the beginning of COVID that has caused short term memory loss. Because of these afflictions, I may forget things and ask about them more than once. I may seem distant, but am just struggling to socialize in any form. I am awkward and weird, but I am a great person to get to know. I apologize in advance as I know it can be annoying to deal with me as I cope with life and my diagnosis. I am bad at social cues in RL and they are fucking impossible for me to comprehend on here. All I ask is that you are patient with me and if there is anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that bothers you please come to me and let me know.
As for writing, I am a slow potato because I am a firm believer in quality over quantity. I will never rush anything. Ever. I go through phases of high muse and low muse. Of busy life and jack shit going on.  I honestly don't care if you reply in a day, week, or a month. I am here for the leisurely hobby of writing and I want it to be fun for both sides. I do have disco by request and can be found in the background of both for OOC stuff.
I am semi-selective and I generally write with one muse FC at a time. Meaning, if I am writing/shipping with a muse then I tend to not take on other muses of that same FC. It is more of an organization thing for me since I have memory issues (especially short term) from a head injury that makes it difficult to keeps things in order with more than one. I also tend not to write against FC of my muses, but I don't have a whole lot so that doesn't usually affect anything.
I'm not a super big plotter. I like to get a basic idea and wing it. I will very much go with the flow of things. As long as you don't completely write my character feel free to do what you need to move things along.
I don't care about formatting - I am fully mobile (90% on the app), so it is lost to me anyway. I try to match style and length, but I neither have Photoshop, nor know how to use it, so my icons/gifs come from searches. Credit goes to owners. I will also switch between using gifs and not, only using what I feel best fits a thread. If I can't find one, I don't use them.
I do not write smut, incest, or pedophilia. Other than that I really don't have any triggers. If something comes up that makes me uncomfortable, I'm a big girl. I will come to you to plot around it and talk it out. I will write things leading up to smut and will politely ask that we fade to black after that.
That being said, I LOVE SHIPPING! Idc if it is platonic, familial, romantic, frenemies, enemies to lovers, unrequited, fwb, etc. I love them all.
I LOVE to write dark and toxic things. Enough said.
In general don't be a dick. I don't care about your race, gender, sexual preferences, nada. All are welcome here. In that aspect, I don't care what pronouns you want to use for me.  I call everyone dude and bro regardless, so call me whatever you want.
Some last minute things: asks are always open, muses will be random if not specified, I'm only selective against one liners, (Sorry, but I can't not write at least a paragraph or two and one liners can get boring pretty quick for me so I take them on a case by case basis.), and here's some link for you to browse.
Verses
Sidenote: my verse page hasn't been updated in a quick minute so if there's any questions feel free to jump in my ask or DMs. Also, some muses are highly problematic and not nice. Please be advised when writing with them that things will not always be sunshine and unicorns.
(All of my muses are verse fluid which means as long as I'm familiar with a fandom or plot line, I will tweak their story to fit anywhere. Because of that bios may not be up to date.)
19 notes · View notes
the-currian · 4 years
Note
Could you please do a prompt with "I don't know who to choose" with reader, omi and masumi??
I see you, anon  👀👀👀 This prompt isn’t actually on the list – the closest would be “I don’t know which one to choose.”
If you really meant that prompt, this would be an entirely different scenario. But since I thought of a scenario already when I saw the prompt you sent in, I’ll let it slide…
But for future reference, please follow the rules of the posts I make, everyone!
Anyway, I’m not mad. I just wanna stick to the rules of my blog^^
Also, I’m gonna assume Year 3 ages so this will be less squicky for me. Therefore, Omi is 22 and Masumi is 18.
“I don’t know.” Ideas
“I don’t know who to choose.”
Your sketchbook was settled securely on your lap as you perched upon a fountain, lost in the scenery around you at the local park. As you try your best to commit the image to paper, your mind registers the faint shutter sound of a camera in the background. Used to hearing the sound around the scenic park, you pay no heed to it and continue to sketch. Strangely, the shutters of the camera slowly become closer and closer. You try your best to ignore it up until the point when the shutters become too close for comfort. Annoyed, you look up to see a (quite attractive) young man standing a few feet away from you sheepishly lower his camera.
“Er… hello…” he greets, trailing off with an awkward laugh.
You narrow your eyes at him and set your sketchbook aside, standing up to stride over and give him a piece of your mind. Probably sensing the aura of righteous fury you radiate, the brown-haired man raises his arms up in surrender as if trying to placate you.
“Wait, wait!” he cries out. “Hey now… let me explain, please.”
‘The audacity…’ you think to yourself but cross your arms expectantly, waiting for his explanation.
“I’m Omi, a photographer and actor.” he says, extending his hand for a handshake. When you refuse to offer your own hand, still pretty pissed at his intrusion of privacy, he pulls his hand back and rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. “So, um… I came to the park looking for still life to photograph, but then you caught my eye and I kinda just thoughtlessly snapped a shot. I’m really sorry –”
“Can I see the picture?” you interrupt.
“Of-of course.” Omi obliges. His cheeks flush in embarrassment, but he dutifully shows you the picture he took of you. You marvel at his use of light, manipulating the angle to catch your sharp features as you appear to be in complete focus, fixated on your own artwork.
“Wow… you made me look great in this photo…”
Omi murmurs something that you don’t quite catch but when you ask him to repeat it, he flushes an even darker shade of pink and diverts the conversation to his interest in photography, showing you other shots of the still life that he claimed to be taking pictures of earlier. You find yourself drawn in by the passion glowing in his eyes as he talks about the photos.
Over the course of your conversation, the two of you move to one of the parks benches. Mid-sentence, Omi glances at the park’s clock and he pauses.
“Everything alright?” you ask.
“I didn’t realize the time…” Omi replies, looking at you with a troubled gaze.
“Hey, no problem. Don’t let me keep you.”
“But–“
“I frequent this place a lot for inspiration, so I’ll see you around?” you say, standing up. Feeling bold, you give him a playful wink and say, “And next time you want to take a picture of me, just ask! See you soon, Omi!”
You run off without glancing back, a bit embarrassed to find out what his reaction was.
--
Later that week you visit your favorite music store. As you browse through some vintage vinyl, you can feel someone’s eyes on you. You quickly swivel around but find no one else in the aisle with you. Warily, you turn back to the music selection only to feel someone’s presence somewhat uncomfortably close to you.
“You’ve got good taste.”
You jump at the proximity of the stranger’s voice and take a few seconds to calm yourself before facing the guy.
“E-excuse me?”
“I’ve been watching you make your rounds through the store.” He says, absentmindedly twirling the cord of his white headphones. “I prefer post and progressive rock, but I know how to appreciate some of the older gens of music.”
As he goes on, you notice that he slowly inches his hand closer and closer to your face. You close your eyes – in fear? anticipation? – and are surprised to see that he merely pulls out a record from behind you and starts scanning its contents.
‘Weird…’ you think, watching the stranger. ‘But he is kinda cute, I guess…’
Noticing the title on the case of the vinyl, you instantly perk up, forgetting your earlier apprehension.
“Hey, that’s one of my favorites!”
Before you can second guess yourself, you pluck the vinyl out of the stranger’s hands and march over to the store’s vinyl record player. When the stranger fails to follow you, you throw him an expectant glance and he dutifully makes his way over. As you play the record, a smile makes its way onto your face, and you bop your head to the beat. Again, you can feel the stranger’s eyes on you, but this time you pay no heed – actually basking in the attention this time.
“My name is Masumi, by the way.”
You smile at him.
“Nice to meet you, Masumi.”
Before you close your eyes to lose yourself in the vibe of the music, you could’ve sworn you saw a dark blush on Masumi’s cheeks as he stared at you but quickly shoot down that idea.
‘It’s probably nothing…’
--
Weeks pass since the last time you’ve seen those two – admittedly handsome and charming – strangers. Remembering yourself, you shake your head to clear your cloudy thoughts.
‘Focus. You’re here to support Izumi’s play.’ You think to yourself as you take a seat in the packed theater. You review the playbill given to you at the entrance. ‘A mixed troupe play by the Spring and Autumn Troupes, with the leads played by – ‘
Your eyes widen.
‘Omi Fushimi and Masumi Usui?!’
You’re shaken out of your thoughts by Izumi’s voice ringing throughout the theater, announcing the beginning of the play. Sure enough, the two strangers you met earlier this month come out on stage. Thankfully, neither of them seem to be able to see you among the crowded audience.
‘I asked fate to give me a plot twist this month… but not like this!’
--
“Izumi!” you yell your friend’s name, practically barreling her over when you see her after the show. “You did so well!”
“Ahahaha, hello to you, too.” Izumi returns your hug before pulling away. “But you give me too much credit – it’s the actors who carried out the show, after all.”
“Don’t you dare give me that self-deprecation, Tachibana!” you scold, mockingly shaking a fist at her. “The director is just as important as the actors!”
Izumi laughs, waving off your playful anger. “Yes, yes. Come on, I wanna introduce you to the cast.”
Remembering who exactly the lead actors were, your mood quickly turns sour. “Uh, maybe not… I wouldn’t want to bother them right after the show. They need their rest if they want to keep going for the rest of the week.”
“Nonsense!” Izumi says, linking her arm with yours. “Let’s go!”
Izumi whisks you backstage, you desperately trying to escape her grip and trying to make excuses up along the way, but Izumi has none of and before you know it the door to the dressing room is unceremoniously thrown open. Immediately, you can feel several pairs of eyes on you, and are particularly attuned to two of the actors’ gazes which you try your best to avoid.
“Great job, everyone!” Izumi greets, oblivious to the atmosphere in the room. “This is one of my friends from my old theater troupe. They said they really liked your performance, and they’re here – “
“- for me.” Two voices cut in.
Omi and Masumi stare at each other, surprised. A few beats pass and Masumi gets a feral look in his eyes, which Omi meets with a smug smirk. The two quickly make their way over to you and Izumi, who is looking more and more confused by the second.
“I had no idea my favorite muse would be coming to watch our show.” Omi says with a cheeky wink. “If I had known you were interested in theater, I would’ve invited you myself.”
Before you can reply, Masumi butts in.
“Your favorite muse?” Masumi sneers condescendingly at the older man. As Masumi focuses his gaze on you and Izumi, his entire demeanor does a 180.
“My angel of music here obviously heard about me being the lead and came over to see me. How kind of you to bring them backstage, director. You’re the best. How about the two of you join me for dinner?” Masumi says, outstretching his hands to the both of you. Beside you, Izumi sighs but seems to be accustomed to Masumi’s antics.
Omi gently nudges Masumi to the side, offering his own hand. “Oh, but it wouldn’t be fair to split your attention between the director and your… angel of music, now would it, Masumi? How about you take the director out to dinner, while I go to dinner with – “
As the two men bicker, you shoot a desperate look at Izumi, who seems to finally have a grasp on the situation. Looking at the men’s hands offered to you in invitation, you feel an internal struggle rise.
‘I…I don’t know who to choose!’
Mercifully, Izumi finally comes to her senses and comes to your rescue, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
“How about we go with the whole cast in celebration for a successful opening night?” Izumi says, more of a command than a question. The two men immediately stop their argument and defer to their director, but both have pouts on their faces, brows furrowed.
You and Izumi walk out of the theater, arms linked. Omi and Masumi are close behind the two of you, with the rest of the cast leisurely trailing after. As you chat with Izumi, she suddenly looks back with a stern expression. Omi gives a kind, but obviously strained, smile in response, while Masumi does his best to school his face into an innocent expression. You and Izumi glance at each other and sigh.
‘This is gonna be a long night…’
63 notes · View notes
friendelius-writes · 6 years
Text
Through the Window |:| Tom Holland
Mob!Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: As Tom's new neighbor, [Y/N] didn't know that a look through his window costed them lots.
A/N: Low-key a bit creepy, but hey, I would be curious too. (This is my first official fanfic on this blog! Thank you so much for reading~)
Written by @friendelius-writes
Warnings: Guns, swearing, some violence, angst??
NOT MY GIF
Tumblr media
It was a tough two months at [Y/N]'s new home as everything was, well, new. They were completely alone in this new, clean, neighborhood for the first time.
For a while, they didn't know what to do as they were used to hot dinners and nagging, but now, they've been stuck with frozen dinners and the sound of loneliness blasted across the house. Wanting to scratch that itch of going home diminished after meeting their next-door neighbor, Tom Holland.
During a cozy, summer morning while [Y/N] was setting their garden, he was the first person to introduce himself to them. The simple interraction made them feel welcomed and known in this unexplored territory. Now and then, if [Y/N] was outside at the same time as him, Tom would simply make small-talk with [Y/N] before being swallowed by his home.
However, something was tugging in [Y/N]'s mind about him. From generic observations, they have never seen anyone going in nor out of that house besides Tom. Most of his windows were crystal clear and displayed furniture in the room, but [Y/N] hasn't caught sight of that brown-haired male. [Y/N] assumed it was because he's busy, but the amount of time [Y/N] spent at home looking through his windows proved otherwise.
He seemed to be invisible for most of the day as [Y/N] seen no sight of him until those rare moments where he leaves his house and starts up his fancy car [Y/N] doesn't know the brand of. They've never seen Tom return, but he's leaving the house again in a few days. All his groceries were delivered to the back of his house and were always gone by morning. A gardener came once a week as well as someone from the cleaning department.
Once, on a warm, summer evening, with the darkening sky speckled with faint white, [Y/N] was slurping a smoothie as they gazed at the blaring television. The AC was blasting, and [Y/N] was snugged into a reclining chair. A commercial for the next big oven invention was dancing off the white walls, and the smooth hum of the microwave warming their T.V. dinner was the added touch.
Once the microwave chimed, a black van slowed right in front of Tom's house. While rising to grab her T.V. dinner, [Y/N] spectated the van through the kitchen window and observed two men dragging along another person towards the front door with another man dressed in a suit following behind. [Y/N] didn't catch a glimpse of the person, but [Y/N] immediately snatched their chicken nugget dinner and sat back down to watch it unfold. This could reveal more about him.
Bashes at the door alerted Tom, so, he swung the door open and, immediately, confusion jumped onto his face as he glanced between the well-dressed men.
"Why the hell are you here?" Tom demanded as he ushered the men inside in case any prying eyes were watching.
Once [Y/N] shut the television off, they maintain focus on the show unfolding before them as they finally see Tom Holland interact with human life. Unfortunately, they couldn't hear a thing, so they resorted in making up their own dialogue in their head, totally oblivious of the truth.
"We're sorry, mate," started one of the men, "but this little pipsqueak," he gestured to the cowering man, "was so fucking adamant about seeing you about his debt."
"You weren't picking up your goddamn phone, Tom," the other man added quickly with a sprinkle of irritation in his voice. Tom's jaw tensed and shoved his hands into his fluffed hair.
"Well, maybe, Sam, I fucking was purposefully ignoring to get a good night's sleep."
"It's, like, eight o'clock! Why are you fucking sleeping when you could be out having fun with the ladies?"
"Well, maybe, Harry, I'm tired," with a faint growl, Tom rubbed his face roughly, "how many times have I told you to not fucking appear at my fucking house when it's about work?! For all I know, someone could fucking be watching right now!" The twins rolled their eyes simultaneously, and Harry shoved the frighten man towards Tom.
"Just deal with him quickly, then," Harry spat. Tom ran his tongue against his bottom teeth, tightening his jaw. With arms wrapped around himself, he sighed of defeat and faced Harrison.
"I assume you have his file, Haz?" Harrison grinned as he whipped out the manila folder.
"Of course! Did you think I'd come empty-handed?" Tom seized the thin folder and opened it to glance at its contents. Once his eyes laid upon the man's history, Tom tutted and leisurely ambled towards the man who instantly found the pattern in the carpet more interesting.
"Oh, Chase Walker, what am I gonna do?" Tom slapped the folder shut and clutched Chase's chin to snap his head upwards.
"You are here because you wanted to see me, but as I clearly see in the database that you were supposed to return that 250 grand you borrowed from me," he released Chases's chin with a thrust and handed the folder back to Harrison, "the task was simple: get me that 250 grand by today." Chase's eyes wavered as he glanced at Tom and clasped his hands together after dropping onto his knees.
"Pl-Please, I beg you. I-I've only got a hun-hundred grand. I need more time! The re-recent tests on my wife are co-costly! Our insurance—"
"I don't care about your fucking problem!" As if on cue, Harrison handed him a piece of paper with scribbles at the bottom. Tom shoved the paper towards Chase's face.
"Do you not remember this? This was the damn contract you signed, indicating when you'll return the money." Chase shattered as his hot cheeks felt wet while feeling like he was being suffocated in a plastic bag, choking on his words.
"B-but I—"
"No 'but's," Tom tossed the contract to the side and eyed the twins, "take him upstairs to my office." The twins complied and hauled Chase up the carpeted steps.
"Where are they going?!" Exclaimed [Y/N] as they noticed they moved to somewhere else. Hurling their dish onto the table, they shot up and waited to see where they'll be by the windows. They caught sight of the five walking along the second floor through the wide window and then disappeared. For quite sometime, [Y/N] didn't notice them until they saw a barely noticeable Tom far from the window. Where Tom was, [Y/N]'s equivalent was standing in front of their bedroom window. Assessing the situation, their eyes widened and their hand rapidly covered their mouth that flung open at what was in Tom's hands.
"N-no! Wh-what are you doing?! Don't shoot me, I beg you," Chase crawled along the floor and gripped Tom's legs, wailing and pleading to let him live, "please! I'll do anything!" But Tom simply ignored him. He let Chase beg; he let Chase scratch his legs; he let Chase suffer knowing he's going to die.
"Harrison, throw me that silencer over there." Harrison tossed a slick, black, cylindrical silencer to Tom, and Tom caught it right before screwing it onto the front of his pistol. With Chase's cries slowing down, knowing it's not going to do anything, Tom kicked him off and aimed right between Chase's eyes. Once Chases's eyes started to water again, Tom pulled back the safety and pulled the trigger.
With a heavy sigh, he turned around and instantly noticed a figure right across at the neighboring house. His face hardened as [Y/N] realized he saw them. With fear bubbling inside them, they ran as far as they could to reach their phone downstairs. Tom swiveled to the men in the room, and pointed to the window.
"We've been spotted. Catch the person nextdoor, and bring them here!" Ordered Tom as the men sprinted out the door with no delay.
[Y/N] snatched their phone and dialled the police while running out the back door, hoping to get to their vehicle quickly.
"What's your emerg—" [Y/N]'s phone cracked against the ground as another tackled them. Harrison stomped onto [Y/N]'s phone as Sam forced them up while keeping a firm arm around their mouth to prevent loud noise.
[Y/N] whirled around in Sam's arms as Sam kept his stance and hauled [Y/N] towards Tom's house as quickly as possible. Inaudible sounds escaped [Y/N]'s mouth as their arms continuously pulled Sam's arm away from their mouth. Clearly, Sam was stronger than [Y/N], but they didn't give up anyway because anything was better than nothing.
[Y/N] was thrown onto the carpeted floor in the blood-splattered room and caught sight of the dead man lying against the chair. [Y/N] felt their stomach turn inside out and gagged at the image. They turned their head around to avoid it.
"Well, [Y/N]. How much did you see?" Tom's sickly soft voice penetrated [Y/N]'s brain that gave warnings that this guy just murdered a man in his own house. They looked up but refused to make eye contact with the murderer.
"Everything," [Y/N] announced with venom soaked in it. Tom threw his head back as a throaty laugh echoed in the soiled room.
"Pity. You've started to grow on me," informed Tom in a faux sweet tone. He took a few steps back and pointed the gun at their head.
"Sweet dreams."
And he pulled the trigger.
137 notes · View notes
Note
regarding your "wank" post. I really don't mean to be rude so you don't have to publish this if you don't feel like it. But you complain about being seen as a positivity police but the examples you give are kinda yea true. You're right on those ones. But I think there is a big difference on speculation that's coming for next seasons and genuine complaints about the show. For example Sam was out of character this season with following the BMOL. And it was bad writing. (1/2)
But when you come to certain meta bloggers with that you get a 5 paragraph expalantion about why that really wasn’t bad writing and it really fit the the character. And I don’t know at some point you get the feeling that there is NO place for people who still love the show but have complaints about it. You either love it. Or you hate it and should stop watching. As soon as you voice an opinion people will say; if you don’t like it, then stop watching. there is no room for complaint. onlypositivy
I just came upstairs to grab my phone and ended up looking in my inbox, but I will say quickly that:
But when you come to certain meta bloggers with that you get a 5 paragraph expalantion
The thing is after an episode I see a zillion posts about an episode doing this that or the other, and I can choose to agree, disagree, or just not engage at my leisure. There’s wanky bloggers I just never ever reblog from even when I see others do because they have nothing to say I agree with and I DO see the futility in talking to them.
ON THE OTHER HAND, when people bring stuff TO a meta writer, to our inboxes, with the exact same point, THEN you are either asking us to comment on it or for us to ignore an anon. And I do. I ignore some wanky anons I have no answer to or don’t think there’s anything I can say that will help.
BUT WHEN SOMEONE TAKES SOMETHING DIRECTLY TO A META BLOGGER AND ASKS AN OPINION YOU ARE GOING TO GET AN OPINION AND IT WILL NOT BE ONE YOU CAN PREDICT IF IT WILL VALIDATE YOUR OWN BITTERNESS OR NOT.
Largely, I see it as a chance to try and CHEER UP someone who is miserable about the show, on the assumption they do like watching it and maybe some more insight on their issue might help them out if I can offer it.
IT IS NOT POLICING ANYTHING IF YOU WALK RIGHT UP TO US AND ASK AN OPINION AND OUR OPINION IS NOT BITTER.
You’re literally soliciting an answer and waiting to see what it is and if it’s not “yeah fuck those guys” you have the right to continue disagreeing and feeling bitter but we have been asked our opinion and we’re going to give it and if it’s positive, well that’s just because we still see some light here and there and we’re enforcing it on literally no one, just offering the exact thing that anyone would come to the inbox of a meta blogger to ask for in the first place. You can find the blogs going “oh fuck them” easily enough by looking in the general tags.
Listen, if someone IS going around arguing with all the negative posts, fair enough they might be the “positivity police” (or just trying to help people feel better about something they supposedly love but proactively)
But in the example you gave you literally gave the ONE FREAKING WAY that is the LEAST AGGRESSIVE, POLICING WAY anyone can POSSIBLY offer positivity about the show on this hell site because they were ASKED THEIR OPINION AND GAVE IT. 
Like fucking hell, I’m sorry, I’m in a mood about this today because there’s some utterly ridiculous misconceptions about people who write meta and the idea that TAKING SOMETHING TO US FOR OUR OPINION is creating the positivity police, means MAYBE ONLY COME ASK A QUESTION WHEN YOU WANT TO READ THE ANSWER. WE ARE REALLY HAPPY TO DISCUSS THE SHOW IN ALL ITS ASPECTS AND TRY AND META IT THOROUGHLY FOR YOU SO YOU DON’t HAVE TO DO ANY THINKING YOURSELF.
Least you can do is be ready for the fact you’re asking people who are offering the service to explain and help and understand as much as possible the choices in the writing of the show and ASSUME they’re doing it in a customer service voice like how can we help, sir, do you want a side of speculation with that cheer up meta reasoning why it might not be as shitty as you think when you dig below the surface?
Because when you bring stuff to a meta writer, they’re going to meta it. And if they are generally positive enough about the show to be doing that activity in the first place, they’re going to find the upsides
There’s NOTHING policing about responding positively to someone BRINGING an idea or wank to them. 
Also there is no crime in being a positive blog full stop.
83 notes · View notes
Text
Catching up
It all is so far away now, counted as well in days as in weeks, in kilometers, in miles or in impressions, in encounters and insights, or measured by fruitless attempts to write this blog.
To catch up while still keeping this Text readable, I will shorten things, I will have to be unjust.
The people I met, friends I visited, friends I found, even strangers who gave advice or help before quickly disappearing again along the ever winding road, they all deserved more words of gratitude, the landscapes I've seen, the early morning mists, birdsong, rough hills and gentle streams, they are all worthy of poems, paintings, and some day hopefully I will find the rest to praise them rightly.
And about people, about friends: I will not talk in depth about them here, maybe some of the closest not even talk about at all or just mention briefly. That is because trust and friendship are sacred, I don't want anyone to have to worry about being displayed and evaluated here, or conversations being put on public display. That's why my tale will sound probably egocentric at times. Besides some points I take out of conversations I'm determined to keep this a blog only about the experiences and lessons I came across, to share and hopefully inspire, but leave people their privacy.
So informations about others I'll keep vague and brief except for some relevant points now and then if they are required as context.
For now it's these fragments, learned lessons and impressions:
1] The Kindness Of Strangers
The boat leaves in the late afternoon, yet I'm here already. It wasn't easy to say goodbye to friends. Its the moment when you painfully realize what you leave behind before you find the courage to let things go and to jump into an uncertain future. I'm grateful that there have been friends to be missed, friends waving when I left and many people, places and memories to cherish, so rather say 'Thank you' than 'Good bye'.
Now I'm here, not sure how to store a bicycle on the ferry, what to do and where to go. A fellow cyclist reassures me that everything will be ok and shows how to secure the bicycle before we part and enter the huts.
It is a smooth sailing on calm waters. I take position on the south side and watch, watch how Ijmuiden floats away, see Zandvoort passing in the distance, let memories rise out of the parting waves until much later the last dim reflection of the sun is swallowed by the darkness of the water.
Next morning I watch the sunrise from the front-deck before later slowly the shore of Britain appears on the horizon.
Back in the belly of the ship, bicycle is packed and we wait for permission to get on land. My fellow cyclist is here again and we find out that we worked in the same field, be it in different positions, until lately when I quit my job. Healthcare in general, and psychiatry in particular seems to struggle with the same problems on both sides of the water- lack of resources combined with an abundance of expectations and many self-declared specialists eagerly waiting on the sidelines to tell you how exactly you should do your job. I don't regret my step.
Soon we change the subject, talk about more uplifting things, like freedom, travels, cycling and living life.
I'm glad he offers to accompany me for the first few miles, show me the way and help me get accustomed to cycling on the left side of the road.
While traveling the shore, he realizes that my journey later would take me along the A1, the most dangerous and deadly road of Britain. Plans change and a bit later I find myself in a nice cozy house, greeted by a friendly dog. The family is gathered now, they brought dutch scones and there I am, arrived in Britain, eating dutch bread and being made welcome.. and grateful.
Later they even offer me a lift along the A1 so I can continue my journey quite a few miles north on a safe bicycle path.
Actually- actually I made a promise to myself when I gave up my home- to leave every place I visit a little bit nicer, tidier or kinder then I found it, be it a small bit within my powers only.
Yet here I am, receiving all this kindness and struggling to find a way to give a tiny thing at least.
A small contribution I might be able to make after all- the lady of the house is an artist and I hope to come back and spend some time, exchanging tips and knowledge about painting.
It won't really be able to repay the welcome, they didn't know how much it meant- this first encounter on the new path, a sense of home in the world out there.
2] Of Hunters, Vegans, Spiders, Flies, and Shamans too
For my first working assignment I arrive one or two days late.
The bicycle paths in Britain are made for leisure, not for means of transportation, to get from A to B, you sometimes get sent along the beautiful yet rough and rocky road uphill through E to G.
In the morning my host comes to town to give me a lift uphill so I don't need to climb up to the cottage. We soon find out a difference in lifestyle, that either might lead to conflict or to very interesting talks-
While I myself took up a vow years ago to restrain from eating or even using animal products, he is an outspoken and passionate hunter and skillful hunting guide.
Greeted by a friendly dog and a flock of even friendlier chickens I put up my hammock next to a cottage that has seen many years, some of them hard, now regaining its beauty under its tenants committed work.
Not only the growing vegetables outside provide some common ground to get along, we soon find out, as the Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh once said: “If you wish to be understood, you should listen very carefully”
I put aside any prejudice and get a chance to actually learn- a hunter may just as much care about nature and all life in it as the convinced vegan.. not every hunter of course, some are in it for profit just as some vegans are in it for pride.
Those others, those on both sides who actually do care, more and more appear to me as devoted parents arguing about the best cure for their sick child. Later I will briefly encounter a native American shaman and will have to realize that those revered ancient cultures are hunters too.
And when I rescue a little spider after that the other day, it strikes me, how many other insects I might have sent to certain death by saving this one predator...
In the end it seems that our technological power has by far outgrown our human wisdom and it's estrangement from nature what deceives us to take extreme positions- on one side some are abusing sensible, breathing, childbearing live as if it where an industrial product, which makes us a parasite in the organs of life, while on the other side we might not interfere when necessary and so get complicit in catastrophes out of fear of causing individual harm, which is neglect of our responsibilities as intelligent life form.
Life is sustained by devouring itself in any form. In the complex web of interdependence I will continue to avoid harm, but I also learned to judge less those who are willing to intervene, it's the caring about nature, the respecting of life and the willingness to learn about them, what defines whether our actions are righteous and wise, there is not one answer that fits all circumstances.
3] Anam Cara
The path up north led me through the green hills of a land where all the places sound like echoes of long forgotten songs and ancient tales.
Shelters where ready, arranged by friends of a friend, all without expecting anything in return, just out of kindness, setup in beautiful places, the shore of a river, a comfortable trailer in a wide meadow with view on the distant chain of snowy hills, hosts welcoming the traveler, helping and showing me around, and I had to learn that sometimes all one has to offer in return is humble gratitude.
What a strange and beautiful paradise waits in the hills behind Inverness. Anam Cara is the retreat center I work and paint for here.
Lodges and huts are made of timber, stone, from large barrels and from caravans..
I sometimes get lost on the terrain, nothing here is put in a straight line, everything has grown naturally accordingly to the apparent conditions at the time.
It's a place just like its founders and inhabitants, a marriage of Buddhist Dharma and shamanic teachings, enforcing and helping each other by aiming at the same goal from different angles in perfect eclectic harmony.
4] Of Tunnels and Light
At Scottish Borders it is. We follow the shore along the stream, up in the hills, where a long abandoned railroad left its trail, and a tunnel between the trees.
Here, our kind host and guide tells us, many found an experience of transformation.
On a dark day in his life he decided for the first time to go inside.
With the courage of despair he had entered and faced inside this darkness that other darkness which at the time needed to be released. On the other side of the tunnel the light that welcomed him brought the beginning of the change to the better.
We are glad he 's willing to share the experience and I opt for walking first.
Beforehand it all sounded quite easy, just going inside the darkness alone without light and walking through, blindly, until the eyes capture a dim light from the other side.
Now in front of the big black hole amongst the green I doubt for a moment whether I really want to go in.
Threads of fog, hovering at the entrance, weave a mystical web. A chilly breeze greets me as if it where the breath of the earth.
One of the dogs accompanied me on my first steps towards the huge mouth that will swallow me in a moment, and for some time I have the impression the dog is still with me in the dark. I hear my own footsteps and feel this other presence right behind me. Later I learn the dog left me at the entrance already...
Once the darkness surrounds me completely and I should probably feel lost in the void, a deep calm sense of serene silence comes over me, a trust that whatever happens here, is supposed to be and is just perfect as it is. I wander in the timeless spaciousness, listening to my ever slower footsteps.
There is no hurry, no need anymore to get anywhere. While the feet calmly keep going I suddenly loose all intention to either stay or leave. Everything is just about now and now is exactly, perfectly well as it has to be.
Maybe due to a lack of external input, the sense of self dissolves into the black empty space and only a floating undefined feeling of wideness and joy vibrates on.
The first glimpse of light some time later doesn't seduce me to rush, I could just as well stay here, in this very moment for eternity, yet I keep moving.
Never thought the greens of the trees and the grasses, the gentle mos could look as vibrant and intense as they appear while I leave the tunnel. It rather seems, I'm watching the surroundings steadily passing by, then moving myself.
I enjoy the forest with a joy I haven't known so far- like a child looking at trees and clouds and pebbles for the first time ever. I keep walking and keep looking, perceiving without judgment, without naming, without wanting, only looking, smelling, listening, just sensing the stream of impressions calmly arising and taking course.
And I know that nothing ever will be the same, also know now that nothing ever has been the same before. It's freedom to ride on the stream of ever changing appearances without grasping or rejecting, I heard of that, I knew it, could have said these words any time, yet now the tunnel showed that truth in a way, so that I actually could see it too .
5] What is Home?
Back in the Netherlands, coming home from being home, not sure how and why I would deserve this. It must be a natural human kindness I didn't notice before that strongly. Now when I need it, there are friends to let me stay in their place, people offering shelter without expecting anything. I visit friends, I'm humbled and touched by all generosity, and I suspect I might know now, why in some lineages Buddhist monks are obliged to beg for their food- it's only when you depend on others in a way, that you get a chance to realize that, contrary to what the news might tell, human is in essence a very kind and giving being.
I have, for now, just to practice in gratitude to hopefully some day be able to give back.
6] Cow-dung is not Bullshit
Cycling in Germany is a challenge, most roads are forbidden for cyclists, they send you along long winding tracks and don't care to close a path without alternative.
After days of sweating under threatening thunderclouds, in heat, having my navigation gone with the broken phone, getting lost in unknown places, climbing hills without knowing where I am and how to get on, I arrive, days late again.
Now I work at the Schwäbische Alb, there's a small Village on top of a hill and I live here, take care of the garden and paint the portals, just paint, nothing artsy :) but besides being invited to feel at home and greatly being cared for, its my first real encounter with alternative building and painting materials what makes it extra special to be here.
The paint is the etching, burning, kind of chalk that was used for centuries here, but the main lesson is a little building project inside the large shed, a storage room made from clay and dry cow-dung.
I learn from mistakes and from what went well, getting an idea to – one day, some day, after the journeys – maybe build my own alternative home based on experiences and learning ahead.
7] The naked Truth
One more fragment, one I doubted if it was ok to tell, but decided that it should not matter if people think I'm weird, I'm a fifty years old guy giving up a comfortable stable life to cycle around and work without predictable income, not even a pension-plan. I AM weird probably and as long as no one gets hurt I'm free to be as strange as I choose to be.
It's the evening of a hard and hot day, the sun burned my skin dark red and any sweat from cycling uphill dried quickly without cooling me off. I finally find a great spot to spend the night, near a small town or village, but out in the green, well hidden and comfortable.
Before I rest I need to refill my water-supplies and rehydrate myself, also the new used phone I was lucky to receive, does act up, the batteries run quickly, didn't recharge anymore and I want to give it one more try.
It's good as well, to check the vibes of the area, to know the territory and get familiar with the place.
So instead of getting ready for the night I enter the place for a drink and general recharging in the local pizzeria. I'm the only customer inside. The friendly owner refills the bottles and tries to help me with the phone. After a tough day through the hills in merciless heat I enjoy talking to someone before I get back out into the fields. Yet when I tell about the travels and my new life, he offers me to seek shelter at the small terrace next to the house where the guests sit in daytime. It's right at the fairly busy street, surrounded by houses and I'd like my first shelter more, but there are two good reasons to gratefully except the offer- one, it is an act of kindness and that counts more then comfort, two, I slept in fields and woods, in trailers, tents and under bridges, but never in the open air in the middle of a town.
So I set up my shelter, sleeping bag as isolation and the raintarp as cover on one side tied to the fence, the other attached to the bicycle.
A thin tarp provides the illusion of privacy and I lay down in the noise of passing cars and voices on the street.
Now the overheated body starts boiling and burning, however I move or turn, a layer of inescapable
fire keeps me awake. Everything I wear sticks to the skin. Half asleep and half in fever I guess, I remove it all.
A gentle nightly breeze cools me off and sings me to sleep. While I see the stars through the fence it occurs to me, that whoever would find me here, would think I was drunk or crazy. Laying there amongst all cozy houses, bare and naked, not showered for days, hair and beard growing wildly I have finally become a drifter.
And then the image comes before my minds eye, of me laying there, bare of any sign of social status or role, looking like an abandoned corpse, but there is no shame, no fear, only deep calm peace and freedom.
That takes me back into the tunnel. It's the same sense of serenity, nothing to achieve, nothing to loose, nothing to be done, only being.
I will loose this peace of mind again on several occasions, when the wind stands against me, when I loose direction, when I set up goals, but there are more and more times of this deep relaxing equanimity, the acceptance of whatever might be.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes