#ignore me im totally fine im fine

[prime-wars]

going thru a phase rn where i become mildly obsessed with a random nobody character and create an entire au in my head centered around them... learned thru a tf iceberg video i watched with my friends that theres a tf named crosscut who can store all of his "data and memories" (not sure what data is if not memories - maybe baseline personality components?) inside of a actual literal scooter. like its a drone that is just also a scooter.

anyways as we were watching i was like whyyy does that name sound SO familiar to me so i looked him up and turns out he was in mtmte! he's the playwright whose opening night gets interrupted by djd murderfest on the duplicate lost light. this guy vv

[image id: a screenshot from dark cybertron, showing blurr and crosscut in conversation. /end id]

(putting the rest of this under a readmore cuz its probably gonna be long as hell)

so THEN i got to thinking and like. i know that they probably were just like ok yea the scooter's fucking stupid and so they just put him in mtmte without his little scooter buddy but what if. What If They Hadnt.

what if there was One Guy on the lost light who, over the course of the war, had gotten into the habit of backing up every single one of his memories into a drone that he carried with him everywhere he went. maybe it's a bad habit, depending on who you ask, but it's a habit that's hard to break, and one that he decides to keep up with after the end of the war. just in case. people might look at him weird for it, since he performs mnemosurgery on himself regulary (and i do think it's some form of mnemosurgery; he's dumping huge amounts of his own memories straight from his processor into a drone, that's gotta be some kind of mnemosurgery technique (and who knows, maybe the "data" that he's storing on clutch (the scooter, the scooter has a name its named clutch) is emotional data, tied together with his memories, so when he goes back and looks thru clutch's archives he can feel exactly what he was feeling in each memory, or maybe it's just notes he keeps for himself to add additional context to individual memories - but im getting sidetracked)) but he's done it for so long he's not stopping now. after all, you never know when you might need it.

and then you get to getaway.

[image id: a screenshot from more than meets the eye issue #50, depicting getaway's mutineers. crosscut stands in the background. /end id]

maybe crosscut only checks clutch's archives once every couple years, or maybe he likes sifting through his old memories and indulges himself often. who knows, we know next to nothing about him. but what if, a couple months into getaway's mutiny, after sunder's already altered all of the crew's memories, he decides to take a peek. maybe it's on a whim, just a gut instinct that he's learned better than to ignore. maybe he decided to entertain himself with happier memories for a night. either way, he opens up clutch's databanks and discovers Everything.

he'd still been dumping his memories into clutch after sunder's manipulation; he has memories of remembering rodimus and megatron and everyone else leaving the lost light voluntarily, but that memory itself is nowhere to be found. instead, there's getaway, and his plan to turn megatron over to the galactic council, and his stranding of rodimus and the rest of the "rodsquad" on necroworld, and his promises that they would remain safe and unharmed. promises that are sounding much emptier, with the hollowed out memory of rodimus and the crew's departure months earlier rattling around in his head.

idk where it would go from there. maybe when first aid and mirage and everyone return to the lost light crosscut is there to warn them of getaway's treachery ahead of time, and they manage to escape the lost light before getaway can get to them. idk. im just losing my mind a little bit thinking about this.

#undefined.txt #ignore me im totally fine im fine #praying to god i have the energy one day to actually do something with this... #i go a little crazy 👌 #idw #mtmte #meta #crosscut #also i havent read mtmte or ll in a year and a half if i got any info or timeline stuff abt getaway's mutiny wrong no i didnt

[fuckyeah-bears]

you know 99% of the time i get nice, totally reasonable, polite, and frequently kind asks on bearotonin. but every now and then i get some asks that just make me wanna reply snarkily so badly lmao

#the weird shit people send me #like unsolicited 'helpful suggestions' about how to run my blog better #or 'concerns' about the way i run it or some of the photos i post #and it takes a significant amount of self control not to be snarky #because i am not allowed to break brand continuity #but like #people really gotta learn that it's not cute or helpful to come into a stranger's inbox and critique/suggest they run their blog differentl #and i get that most of these (admittedly not that many but still frequent enough) asks are probably not meant to be obnoxious #like i'm sure the person who sent them doesn't have bad intentions #and probably just doesn't realize what they're doing is irritating and a basic etiquette no no #but it's still annoying #sometimes people just gotta learn to keep their opinions to themselves #not every opinion should be shared #just being clear 99.9% of the many asks i get are totally fine and nice #but because i get a fuckload of asks the 0.1% of annoying asks i get is substantial enough to get annoying and tiresome #don't mind me im just vague post venting here as a stress relief so i don't reply snarkily on bearotonin #okay im done ranting now #please ignore me lmao #Posts about bearotonin

[your-turn-to-role]

Keyleth tries to interrupt Ludinus doing his evil stuff -> Power Word Stun on Keyleth -> very very deadly attack barrage on stunned Keyleth -> Vax appears in a swoosh of raven feathers deflecting a (probably?) deadly blow -> "Don't even dare" -> Ludinus needed a "divine spark" and had prepared for this -> Vax gets laser focused by magic machine bullshittery -> Vax gets compressed into an orb/sphere -> orb Vax gets inserted into the machine as the last piece Ludinus needed to activate it -> something happened but we're not sure yet what we'll have to wait at least until next week for more info

hope it helps :)

OKAY

THIS IS FINE

god the person in the notes on that post saying this was just like how vax died but in reverse was R I G H T and i hate it

(for those who don't remember or didn't watch THAT fight. campaign vax did not perma die bc of his deal with the raven queen. his end of campaign death was just a formal goodbye bc he was already dead. his actual death happened in the first fight with vecna. when he got hit with a 22DC hold person he couldn't physically break out of. and being under hold person, means that disintegrate automatically hits. and if disintegrate takes your hit points below 0, you are not only dead, you can't be revived by any spell except for true res, which is the only resurrection spell the raven queen does not allow)

(and technically, disintegrate was cast on him twice, before it took effect. bc keyleth saved him the first time)

#both of my roommates are out tonight which im very glad of #bc while i love them and they both follow this blog so they would not judge me #i do not need to explain right now why i keep yelling and going THIS IS! FINE! out loud #but also AAAAAAHHHHH #MATTHEW MERCER. YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY BOY. OR IM COMING FOR YOUR EXPENSIVE MAP PARTS. AND YOUR MINIS. AND YOUR LIGHTS. #FUCK IT ALSO YOUR FOG MACHINE #anyway hiiii m&k if you see this im totally fine i promise #did not yell any of the above out loud either #sbahdhaydjdnusbdjd #i may have to watch these episodes but im gonna wait to hear what happens first #bc like. if vax is okay. i will love this. if he is perma dead dead soul too im sorry i will simply be ignoring it #bc my heart can't take that #cr spoilers #ask

[arrowpunk]

I want all of my friends to know that I love y'all so so much and I'm sorry I've been so bad at responding to DMs and stuff these past few weeks, I do not think that is going to improve for at least another few weeks because I am just so so busy and everything is so so so much and I am doing my best and I love all of you people in my phone and I will do my best to actually Talk to you all more and better in a few weeks when everything has slowed the fuck down and I'm no longer stressed to the point that it feels like my brain is leaking out of my ears.

#ramblings of an arrow #wedding on saturday #roadtripping and moving 1500 miles in a car prone to breaking down in 2 weeks #in the middle of work tests for a job I'm trying to apply for #don't know if I'm gonna get that job or if I'm wasting my time on these work tests #need to get a job b/c I spent over $3000 getting my car repaired last week #which WIPED out my savings that I spent the past few years trying to build up #right before getting married and moving me and my wife TO THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY #I'm sure everything will work itself out and be totally fine in the end #im sorry I swear I'm not trying to ignore anyone #everything is just so much right now and I'm holding it together as best I can #I keep getting mood whiplash from this job application/interview process #literally if I get this job I know that will fix all of my stress #because it's mostly financial stress #wedding i can handle #moving I can handle #it's being broke af and feeling responsible for me and my wife's wellbeing while not being able to financially provide for her #that fucks me up #ANYWAYS #im sure it'll all be fine #I just cannot exactly control my brain's stress response #I replayed all of dishonored the first one and got ghost and clean hands #because videogames help me cope with intense stress lol.... #but now I've finished dishonored and dishonored 2 and hades and I'm just sitting here like aaaaaa #need new viddy game #brain wants so so bad to play BG3 #I should probably just open one of the unplayed games I ACTUALLY OWN #maybe I'll see if Batty wants to watch me play Later Alligator #or if there's another game of mine she'd prefer I play #I don't know

[scarletlizzard]

The thoughts are thoughting extra today

#ignore me #no im not okay #its fine #its totally fine

[thedeadthree]

LIOSLAITH eladrin necromancer; fawn of the feywild (dnd)

the hot one: You're that one hunk that EVERYONE has a crush on. Your wit and charm is known to make fangirls faint, and half of the entire fandom's thirst posts are about you. You could eat a cookie and everyone would lose their shit. Congrats, dude.

LHYSA the bane of rulers; the assassin (the witcher/dai)

morally grey: You helped the hero's once, but only for money. And you sold them out later, but only to save your daughter (twin brother) from slavers (certain death by witch hunters, the wild hunt, the chantry). Your actions and motives are constantly contradicting, with no end in sight. Twitter and Reddit are divided in very different ways. Tumblr wants to eat you raw.

AYRENN the painted phoenix of plaithus (the exile)

should have been the villain: You're a good guy, but you shouldn't have been. Your appearance, your skillset, your backstory, it would have been perfect. But no, they had to make you a hero. I guess you were just too good to be true. You will always be a villain in our hearts.

RULES:

make your oc in this picrew.

take this uquiz to find out what the fandom would think of you if you were a fictional character.

my beloveds @confidentandgood, @blackreaches, @shellibisshe, @risingsh0t, @leviiackrman, @spectorss, @adelaidedrubman and @marivenah tagged me to do this cutest quiz + picrew tag! ty so much!

tagging: @griffin-wood, @saintsilver, @florbelles, @arklay, @steelport, @belorage, @lustyargonianmaid, @flyntz, @celticwoman, @blissfulalchemist, @aceghosts, @trinnaeste, @heroofpenamstan, @shadowglens, @nokstella, @yennas, @loriane-elmuerto. @jackiesarch, @manghhos, @aelyosos, @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @rosebarsoap and you!

#only if you want to of course! 🌿💚 #and if you’ve done this already as always please feel free to ignore 🤍 and if i missed you please take this as ur tag! #oc: lioslaith mac ruaidhrí #oc: lhysa #oc: ayrenn urthemiel #alas ​the links are also being funky ✨🤧 #even uquiz thinks ur morally questionable lhysa ✨🥴 #eredin LOATHESS faron jsjxjxh yes that is his son YEA that also means lhysa is his daughter and yes faron is a thorn at his side ✨🥴 #that aen saevherne son of his is a royal PAIN i tell you sjzjhx #alyssa I’m having a BREAKDOWN over ayrenns? #GODD the way that this sounds like her mom and the overseer? and what she tells herself? IM FINE THIS IS FINE. #TAKES ME OUT AT THE KNEES LET ME TELL YOU ✨🤧 #introducing lio! my dear eladrin noble necromancer ✨😌 #i am SO excited for the party to get to know her in saturday ✨🥺 I ADOREE HER A NORMAL AMOUNT #its her summer and winter forms! beloved dearest dear girl! 🌿🌲❄️🌨 #a k*nife fit her the best bc ✨necromancy✨ u know? #(ngl maybe ill throw her into baldurs gate and pathfinder….. maybe guild wars.. IM OBSESSED WITH HER LISTENN) #i mean i totally agree uquiz she could so much as BREATHE and i would! i support her in all her endeavors! #THE WAY ALL OF THEM HAVE 🔪 im yelling! peak cute but could k*ll u ajjzjzhx ✨😌 #leg.ocs #leg.tagged #TY DEARS FOR THE TAG 🤍🥺 this was the cutest to do for them! and to introduce lio! #hmmm maybe I’ll give her a daughter ✨🥺 IVE BEEN THINKINGG.. especially since she’s got a linked verse now? maybe w/i*sengrim?

[chanstopher]

being at the point im at w/ recovering from surgery is so weird cause i feel so normal and fine until something is above my head and i literally cant reach it rn cause im not supposed to pick my arms up or carry things over ten pounds and suddenly im like oh right its only been 3 weeks asgds

#everything ive read said i should still be sore and hobbling around in. pain but i was like FINE after a week im just annoyed #because im being careful just cause. and so im like dreamy u could totally grab that box but also what if.... #sfnsjisfs anyway ignore me im just mumbling #its also why i havent been on as much #all the things i used t odistract myself have become hyper fixations lol

[fina1chase]

Idc abt being tmi but I think I just have irregular periods now

#naegi.txt #totally fine with me bc i get to ignore it #bc it makes my gender dysphoria and general self confidence shoot way down low #like oh right im Born Like This

[combeauferre]

.

#so close to just. losing it and writing out a horrifically long rant post abt how much i hate job searching #and how i wasted four years on a degree and no jobs want me bc there is literally nothing stand out abt me and im literally just stuck #in the same retail job i felt stuck in five years ago #and im just. completely fucking useless #i went through four years at university and i cant even write a cover letter let alone get a fucking job #i fucking hate job searching i hate being in retail i hate being the family disappointment #idk how much longer i can stand it before i just give up and succumb to just. being in retail the rest of my life #anyways #so much for the 'im not gonna rant im just gonna get a few thoughts out' #anyways im totally fine #ignore me #incoherent rambling

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day) #(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

[waterfallofspace]

So, I've been working on my OC's again, and honestly I'm just having such a fun time flushing them out into (hopefully) believable humans~~

Annddd, not that I expect anyone to really care, but if I was gonna share them, and you were going to care, what would you guys want to see first?

#waterfallpolls #waterfalltalks #If you guys don't care thats totally fine!! #also just a side note: i feel so weird saying 'you guys' #like as if i have? an audience? like- hadjsidsak it always feels a bit weird to me hahaha #but at the same time i like having a lil place here #to put my insanity and sometimes people like that #ANYwaYS back to the point of this #if you DO care and DO have a preference please feel free to vote!! #or comment/dm/send an ask if theres anything in particular u wanna add #just generally not sure how people go about this #im also WELL aware my guys are a lil new #not fully flushed out and definitely not gonna be some peoples thing #so if you wanna ignore this please go ahead <333 #idk why im anxious suddenly haha #please forgive my insanity in these tags <3 #thank you to anyone who reaches out/replies to the poll #even if the reply is just 'idc about ur ocs please get back to fandoms' #(and i promise- for those of you who ARE waiting for content) #(there WILL be fandom content coming too) #(soon as The Braincell decides to power on again~~)

[herotome]

I came for the Katie-cat. I stayed for the lore, the world, the art, the writing, the flair, the joy and amusement, the surprising relatability and the utterly loveable characters. You're a great writer. Looking forward to everything you make :)

What!!!! 😭😭😭

No one's ever told me they came for Katie awww! And I'm glad you like the rest of the game too! Please enjoy your stay, thank you very, very much for the message. ❤️

#herotome ask #katie cat #this ask means a lot to me bc katie is based on my irl cat laraine #and... not gonna lie she is a DIVA #she is proud and aloof and very unwilling to meet new people #so a few years back when I had ppl over they would usually ignore her or roll their eyes at her right back #but like... GDI she's a princess okay! you gotta love her first before she'll even entertain loving you and that's fine! #you must be willing to be vulnerable to reap the sweet kitty rewards!!! who do you think you are?! #.... anyway I adore her and she is therefore very sweet and adoring in return most of the time #which is reflected in Katies general disposition towards MC #didnt mean to go on a crazy cat person rant (Im lying I totally meant to) but yea yep yes respect the kitty she'll respect you #and love you back so so so much

[sarcasticcebby]

😥😨😰

#really wish i had some real friends to talk to #im just sorta frwaking out and i kinda wish that i had someone to freak out to that would be able to talk me down #do i have friends? yeah probably i mean i atleast call them friends but boy howdy can i not talk to them about /this/ #it's fine it's cool k i am not trying smto strwss vomit but it's totally chill #oh god im going to stress vomit unless i calm down FUCKING CHILL ok breathe breaht it's fine im fine #ignore this #vent #i say things too #for posterity

[amlovelies]

.

#ive been feeling some weird anxiety lately around social media #i dont know if its the internalized cringe #or just that ive onserved some pettiness which is making me anxious #(none of my mutuals btw) #and i know its stupid and but i spend so many years being made fun of and teased #that sometimes i cant help but shut down #afraid im going to do and say the wrong thing #and people wont like me anymore #theyll have figured it out that im a waste of time and space #and yeah it stupid but its still there #and i just want to ramble about my silly little stories #without worrying about being right or wrong or that someone somewhere is laughing at me #anyways im total fine and healthy and normal #just ignore me #aml talks

[mountalodiel]

ohhhhh so the pain is endless i get it now

#<- having a really normal and mentally stable time #my stomach does not feel like it has dropped into the depths of the earth 24/7 #im totally fine and normal and dont think about certain choices i could make at least twice an hour 👍 #i love realising no1 ever initiates convo w me unless i do it myself bc i am that unimportant in people's lives #i also love being ignored by the doctors when they asked me to get in touch abt getting back on meds again #it definitely makes me feel like its worth trying any more 👍 #😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 well anyway. im fine!

[thedeadthree]

WHAT FORM OF LOVE DO YOU EMBODY?

tagged by @chuckhansen, @dihardys, @jackiesarch​ and @marivenah to take this cutest uquiz for my dears! ty so much! <3

(x)

tagging: @griffin-wood, @blackreaches, @risingsh0t, @florbelles, @leviiackrman, @queennymeria, @aartyom, @adelaidedrubman, @heroofpenamstan, @belorage, @roofgeese, @loriane-elmuerto, @virassan, @yennas, @shadowglens, @saintsilver, @confidentandgood, @pheedraws, @arklay, @celticwoman, @inkrys, @multiverse-of-themind, @swordcoasts, @sunsetseasons, @rosebarsoap and you!

LOVE AS A RELIGION

[ love as the sole object of your reverence--nothing about you is holy, but maybe your love for another is ] when sappho said "in the crooks of your body i find my religion" and when the cast of les mis sang "to love another person is to see the face of God" and when halsey said "i found God, i found him in a lover" and when katherine philips wrote "to the dull angry world let's prove there's a religion in our love"

LOVE AS A HUNGER

[ love as ravenous desire, love as something fragrant and home-built ] when florence welch said "we all have a hunger" and when jenny slate asked "who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?" and when violet trefusis wrote "I want you hungrily, frenziedly. passionately. I am starving for you..." and when anne carson asked "what are we made of but hunger and rage?"

LOVE AS VIOLENCE

[ love as bloodshed, crimson as a knife slipped between your ribs ] when ocean vuong said "to arrive at love, then, is to arrive through obliteration" and when franz kafka said "you are the knife i turn inside myself; that is love" and when ada limon said "how do you love? like a fist. like a knife" and when richard siken said "sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine"

LOVE AS DEVOTION

[ devotion: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause ] when ruth said to naomi "where you go, i will go, and where you stay, i will stay. your people will be my people, and your God my God" and when hozier sang "i'll be the dreadful need from the devotee that drove [orpheus] underground" and when deathcab for cutie sang "if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, i will follow you into the dark"

LOVE AS A CHOICE

[ love is beautiful because it's built deliberately ] when casey mcquinston wrote "that's the choice. i love him, with all that, because of all that, on purpose. i love him on purpose" and when jenny slate tweeted "i just want someone to grab my little face and scream on purpose, on purpose i am going to care about you" and when jodi picoult wrote "after fifteen years, love isn't just a feeling. it's a choice" and when the good place said "if soulmates do exist, they're not found they're made"

LOVE AS TENDERNESS

[ love as gentleness after a lifetime of cruelty ] when ocean vuong said "sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined" and when pablo neruda said "like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar" and when anais mitchell wrote "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, and now i wanna hold you, too”

#only if you want to of course! #oc: valentina zaman #oc: annushka zima #oc: caitrìona #oc: líadáin talovaire #oc: lioslaith mac ruaidhrí #oc: chiara de laurentis #technical difficulties for me yesterday made this a bit late :’) so if you’ve already done this please feel free to ignore! #VALSS NOW YOU DIDNT HAVE TO COME FOR HER LIKE *THAT* UQUIZ :’) #especially the ‘wiping blood from ur partner choice?” im fine IM SO FINE...... there’s a piece I want to write that may be inspired by that! #as for how her and the elder meet and get together..... so john was hired when she was younger to k*ll her parents by a rival of her fathers #so did she seek him out to ask for permission to k*ll the man now sitting in the seat her dad should be in? #OR that she already k*lled him and was asking for forgiveness? and her honesty (and that shes.. really pretty..) #was what led him to offer her to be his hand..? eyes and ears and the like? maybe? #UHHHHHH chiaras is totally not living in my head rn? it works so well for all 3 of her verses! uc! m*cu! jw! all of the above! #‘all ive ever known is how to hold my own and now I wanna hold you too...’ IM FINEE #awww lio and muiredach being love as a choice.. :) #LOVE AS DEVOTION LOVEE AS DEVOTION these two are ruining me with that..? lía and leon..? this is fine! #you are the knife I turn inside myself that’s love..? and hati and Marcus UHHHH giventhem as chars and their story.... TRACKS #adding ‘what are we but hunger and rage’ to anyas quote repertoire BC.... these answers read the girls for FILTH..! #that fit her to a t! its such a fitting answer for her and for her and ash! #leg.txt #leg.ocs #leg.tagged #TY SO MUCH DEARS this was so cute! I love this quiz sm <3