#im all for trying things out to see if u like them so i want to encourage u to play but also . 60 dollars. woof.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hi big sis, u asked for my other bfs sooooo, how do u think sunshine!reader and grumpy!bucky met? like how did them (complete opposites) start dating?

hi lil pickle!! okay this is all a big rambling mess and its probably far from cohesive, but couldn’t stop myself 😭😭

BUCKY AND READER MEETING.

im gonna saaay something cute and kinda romcom-like bc he deserves it

maybe he's at the shop and he's trying to find something?? maybe sam gave him a list of things to grab last minute for dinner (maybe a bbq with sam's family and family?) 

so he's just standing there like a cute little lemon, list in hand as he looks at the food on the shelves. maybe you're a few feet beside him looking for the same thing? and maybe the shop is out of stock of the food item, but neither one of you know

he has no idea you're there, so he mutters the item name to himself

but you hear, so you repeat it in a questiony type of way, and you say how you're looking for it too and have been looking everywhere. you have a short causal conversation about the item and he says how he needs it for a friend's bbq. and then part ways until you meet each other on another aisle

maybe you smile at him and he's kinda confused bc he's like "what do you want?" "have I got something on my face?" kinda thing

then you go past each other again and then you both go about getting what you needed to get. and then hidden somewhere you find the item (only one) you both needed. so guess what? you try to track him down but then you see him about to leave the checkout. so you stash your basket somewhere so you can buy the item quicker, and then kinda chase after him

he's reaching his car/ bike and you're like "wait, wait," trying to stop him. and then you hand him the item and you're saying "I found one, it was hidden" something like that yada yada

and he's questioning what you meant by one. then you say how you found one, and got it for him and that you want him to have it (maybe you think he needs it more)

and bc you were so selfless and gave him the thing you needed AND paid for it AND chased after him to give it, he says how he can't take it. you say how it's no problem and make a joke that it's your good deed for the day. he makes a joke and says the same by trying to give it back to you

and it's all just cute and sweet, and you're so kind etc etc that he's kinda confused by it all

there's a silent moment but it's comfortable, and you're kinda lingering hoping he'd ask you for your number. but he takes a while, and your basket is inside, so you back away and say how it was nice to meet him and that you hope he has a good day or something about the bbq

and a few seconds after your back is to him (you're walking away) he's like "wait" bc he finally bucked up the courage

and then you spin around. and he asks if you want to come too. and is a little awkward, saying how you don't have to or sorry for asking you (bc you're a stranger) 

you say how you'd love to, he's kinda proud bc he asked you out and he's still got it

and then you have this really cute story to share when you meet his friends. and it's all so sweet bc it seems like you've always known each other and sam def picks up on something between you. bucky's really interested in you, bc you're his sunshine cheery counterpart

and you both really want to see each other again

DYING OKAY NOW IM DONE

#yonlyssguts #bucky barnes #bucky barnes headcanon

[evmrellie]

Labyrinth | s.r x gn!reader

summary: You're scared about your feelings for Spencer. Insp by labyrinth from Taylor Swift.

genre: fluffly and hurt/comfort. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader (I'm a girl so I wrote going on this way, but I think I didn't gave any descriptions abt being one, so it's totally safe for gn!readers <333 if I did, I'm sorry, I didn't notice.) words: 1,3K warnings: family issues, inexperienced!reader, reader never being in a relationship before, insecurity, anxiety, mention of toxic relationships (not between reader and anyone else) notes: hiii, this is my first oneshot so plss be nice 😭✋🏻 im not used to write like this, but I'm so obsessed with Spencer and I had this idea and I couldn't just let go. English it's not my first language, so forgive me if any mistakes or if u guys don't understand smth. not proofread. hope you guys like it !! <3

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

You've never trusted relationships, not that you had experienced any, but what you saw growing up? What you were used to? Didn't make you want to get into one in the first place.

You never denied that you've dreamed about that; finding a true love and a nice, healthy relationship since you saw all your friends living it. That hurted you a little, but you learned how to live with it.

Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You tried to catch your breath, adjusting it as much as possible. You were used to unlearn the ability of breathing when you were around people who made you nervous, especially if you had a slightly crush on them. Actually, you unlearn every normal thing that humans do when they interact, it's like a part of your brain stops working and refused to turn it on again. He loved to make you embarrassed, especially in front of pretty nerd ish boys.

The first time you met Spencer it consumed all of your brain chemistry. Day and night making fantasies of how it would be meeting the boy again with the help of destiny, falling in love and maybe being obsessed with you the same way you were with him. But you knew that it was just a fantasy and it would never happen, it was just your brain trying to distract you from the real world and your real problems.

It was a nice escape though.

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Everything happened so fast in your time vision, it terrified you of how easy he was able to get through it. You were always scared of relationships because, yeah, it was nice and easy to fantasy about it, but to actually live it? That scared the shit out of you. All your Inexperience, insecurities and traumas couldn't be fixed from one day to another.

Everything that you learned from your parents was that if you dived in too quickly, it would be a mistake. Not only from your parents, but also from people you were close to, seeing their relationship rise too fast and going effortlessly and awfully down.

You never understood why they keept doing it, sinking into the same situation over and over again, sometimes with the same or a different guy. How they kept being pulled and compelled by it? You didn't understand because you never felt it.

It was so scary how relationships could rise so fast and sink at the same speed.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

You understood why they kept like that in the worst — best— way possible.

When it first hit you that you were falling in love with Spencer felt like a harsh slap in your face, leaving red bruises and a terrible burning in. You didn't want to accept it, it was frightening to actually let it in.

Was getting hard with the passing time, he wasn't getting any easier and neither were his loving and caring acts. I mean, how could someone like him be so.. careful with you? You felt like a broken piece who would never be loved and receive this kinda of treatment, it was starting to confuse you.

You knew he wasn't the type of person who liked being touched or touching other ones, but with you? Every possibility of being close to you, hugging you, touching your hand and giving a sweet cuddle in that same spot was driving you insane. He made sure that any free time he had, he spent with you. Or even at work, in his free time that he used to call you.

Reid talked to you about his mom and his abandonment issues with his father so openly that made you open yourself with him too. You didn't want to scare him telling him about your family situation or make him think you're a weird, problematic person, but you couldn't let him vent to you and not say a thing. He hasn't change with you. In fact, it only bought you both closer.

You ended up accepting what you felt for him, you didn't want to fight against it, deep down was a comfort feeling. For the first time you felt what everyone around you always talked about. And oh god, it really was an amazing feeling. But no, you would never tell him that. The thought of how this could end so fast after telling him that because probably it wasn't reciprocal, hurted you so bad that keeping it to yourself was the best decision you could make.

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice called you off of your own thoughts, his Cheshire Cat smile growing as he saw your face turning into a shade of burgundy.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Like a deer lost in the headlights.” He snorted a laugh.

“What?! I'm not-“

He interrupted you, getting up from the chair where he was lost doing his usual puzzles. Spencer walked over to you, resting one of his hands on your face while the other one brushed away a few strands of hair that fell into your eyes. You automatically snuggled your face between Spencer's hands, smirking and closing your eyes, enjoying the gentle caress his fingers made on your cheeks.

“Tell me, please.” He begged you, you could easily hear the smile into his words. He was always so polite, it made you want to scream into a pillow and kick your feets in the air.

You sighed, tired to hide how you felt.

“Honestly? About you. I think I already fell for you.”

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

You were scared of his reaction, to look at him and see his eyes falling in pity for you; About him suddenly telling you to go home because he didn't felt the same and saying that this wouldn't work between you two. But to be honest, you couldn't hide anymore, not for him and not for yourself. You needed to break free from this labyrinth you created on your mind, there's no way you could keep up with this and stay cool like it didn't made your chest burn everytime you looked at him.

He surprised you by just laughing softly.

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

“Well, i’m pretty sure i am terriefiedly in love with you.”

You swore that if this was a joke you would combust and turn into a million pieces of yourself, no one would ever find you again.

Your eyes caught up at his sparkling hazel irises that conveyed how much he begged for the same answer. You always felt something carving like a dagger inside your chest when he looked at you like that, like you could break him with any wrong do.

It was absolutely terrifying how easy he broke you to this, to this situation where you could never lie and deny that you felt the exactly same for him. You were head over heels for him. Not in a million of worlds you could imagine that Spencer Reid felt the same thing you did for him, but you were also pretty sure that you were the one who would end up with the heart completely shattered if this ever come to an end.

“I love you so much, Spence.” You said, and then his lips parted open and you were able to feel his sweet taste coming into yours.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spenced feid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x gn reader #spencer reid x fem!reader

[wickjump]

hey.

would you like to hear an xtale siblings thought?

rhetorical question.

(abuse mention bc its the fucking xtale siblings)

so. according to jakei (via cornmayors twitter), xpapyrus is "the kind of person who would harvest his own food", which is pretty cute i think. ik corn has a comic abt xasriel being into gardening, and i think theres some canon stuff that might support that, too? so yeah neat, papyrus and asriel/flowey friendship prevails!! they have a common interest/hobby, thats pretty cute, yknow?

but like. i was thinking, right? what would make xpap want to garden? not that he necessarily needs a reason, but..

and i mean the (possible) explanation is pretty damn clear. its been shown before that xgaster doesnt care abt his kids and doesnt seem to provide for them most of the time. im guessing they went hungry a lot as kids.

and like xpap has been shown to be more outspoken, defying orders and/or talking back on multiple occasions (sometimes making cross step in to "correct" him to avoid or at least soften xgasters wrath), so i think if he was hungry hed just say it, and depending on his mood xgaster would either tell him thats not his problem or begrudgingly give them something (or make xalphys go buy food or cook or whatever)

but cross? cross wouldnt say a fucking word. he could be dying of starvation and hed say hes just fine to avoid the potential punishment of "inconveniencing" xgaster

so like. im thinking. what if xpap started growing his own food because he didnt want to be so dependent on someone who couldnt be assed to provide for them? because he was tired of going hungry and being punished for trying to get the only person who could do something abt that to actually... do something? because he was tired of seeing his brother suffer in silence because he was too scared to say anything?

i can see him finding some like.. tomato seeds or something. maybe just planting a slice from food xgaster finally brought them in the hope that it grows into a plant eventually. cross would definitely help him care for the plants. maybe xalphys would occasionally bring him books about gardening or new seeds or just tell him general knowledge so he could more successfully grow things.

idk like. we see a lot of cross caring for xpap (bc of course he would, hes his older brother), but xpap explicitly caring for and providing for cross in return makes me bash my head into the wall /pos like ik thats normal. to yknow. care for and provide for your family. but god damn.

they make me violently ill.

(this was very xpap centric bc im very normal abt him (lie) hope youre ok w that)

vomits glitter everywhere youre soright..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also dont worry ily xpapyrus ilysm..... xpapyrus u deserved better... i love any characters from any au theyre all so cool....

UGHHHHHHHHHH i love it when younger siblings take care of the older ones,,, ugh.. .., i mean xalphys is the youngest of the three, meaning papyrus would technically be the middle sibling but yk what. that makes it better actully imo. middle sibling takes ccare of the other two.

ANYWAY yes. xpap is the most outspoken, as you said, out of them all about xgaster's mistreatment. while cross is silent and alphys is indifferent (outwardly) towards xgaster, xpapyrus is the one with the strongest sense of justice. cross is anxious, xalphys pretty much had her will to fight stripped away from her, but xpapyrus still has that spark in him, and that spark remains despite everything. he'd tell xgaster that he's hungry, because he's hungry, dammit, and if xgaster doesn't feed him, he'll take matters into his own hands. i can imagine xgaster picking a burger up for him after hours of nagging, and xpapyrus plants the whole tomato slice in a bunch of dirt in a tupperware bowl for later.

xpapyrus would defend those plants with his life if he had to because to him, as a child, i think they'd be synonymous with 'he doesn't have complete power over us. look, this is something i did on my own, something he doesn't control'. it would be the first bit of independence he's ever really had. xasriel probably helped as well because he thought it was just a fun hobby of xpapyrus' and not a means to not starve. this also probably helped cement xpapyrus and cross' loyalty to the dreemurr family,,

im ill about them too UGH.... the xtale siblings (+ chara/frisk) are my favorites ever and i just...man!!! the way xgaster abused them all in so many different ways is SO overlooked in this fandom and its my number one duty to make sure eveyrone knows how terrible xgaster is,,.!!! hes a child beater!!!!!!! cross, xpapyrus, xchara, xfrisk, and probably xalphys were beaten children!!!!!!

#rambling again #its my favorite au... xtale..wow... #xtale papyrus #xpapyrus #xalphys #xtale alphys #cross sans #xtale #underverse #utmv #undertale #xgaster #cw neglect #cw child abuse #cw child neglect

[cjrights]

also addition to the whole manager thing

1. She def wouldn’t know what the hell to do with herself at first and just sort of followed around the team and would talk/interact unless given permission. Kind of a lost puppy

2. Probably Paige Kk Ice or Azzi who made her come out of her shell for the first time (if we’re talking earlier team it was def Dorka and u won’t change my mind)

3. She lovvves practicing with them but lowkey gets so tired because she’s literally a baby trying to keep up with fully physically mature adult women and that just doesn’t happen 😭 and will never admit she’s tired. She is lying and Paige and others ended up carrying her out of practice after she fell asleep on the bench on more than one occasion (which she is horridly embarrassed by once she comes back and always gets squirmy and embarrassed if someone mentions it.

4. Probably ended up falling asleep on a few of them at some point on a long bus ride (Ice, Aliyah maybe Paige). Doesn’t know what to do when she wakes up with someone literally hugging her to them like a teddy bear or when she discovers Paige Azzi and Kk have been taking photos and captioning them stuff like “our little teddy bear 🧸 “ just to get on her nerves a bit and truly bully her in older sibling fashion)

5. She is there babbbby omg can not emphasize this one enough. like they get so protective and fond of her it’s not even funny. so now she has like 10+ adopted parents. Basically can get away with anything.

6. Once got lost at an away game at Iowa and had to be returned to UConn by some big rival (idk i just picture someone else big like Kate Martin or smth just grabbing her sweatshirt hoodie like the scruff of her neck and lightly dragging her back over to UConn after getting lost and then they all scold her for worrying them 😭) and then they just look at Kate like hi 👭

7. She’s got no idea wether she’s supposed to accept or reject the affection so just kind of sits there at first like 🧍‍♀️ when they first hang out but then after a few weeks is very content with it.

8. One tinnny lil child when she first joins like 5’3 and barely a hundred cus she’s literally like 13 and hasn’t hit a growth spurt. I feel like Kk and Nika would kind of hold it above her that their taller just cause their on the shorter side compared to the rest of the team and tell her to drink more milk. She hates it LMMMMAO and swears she’ll grow taller than them one day (which is a longgggg way off)

9. Nervous af around other teams coaches or players escpeicslly when she attends a pregame meeting or smth as a manager and would literally want to hide if she got acknowledged (esp by some big named player like Angel or Caitlin or Kate or Juju or someone like that)

10. She’s probably a point guard or shooting guard and clicks a lot with Paige because of it

11. They give her a lil hoodie with the UConn logo and what they think is her future number (9) and it’s like a lost n found tag for her (someone just sees her wandering around with it on and then they see UConn manager and are like “welp guess i gotta bring their child back”

-🦦

THESE ARE SO SO CUTE im wishing i was this kid i want to hangout with them 😪😪

YOU GOT THE DORKA THING it definitely would’ve been her if we were talking about back when she was on the team

#🦦 anon #i love my anons #uconn wbb manager hc #uconn wbb #paige bueckers #kk arnold #ice brady #aaliyah edwards #azzi fudd #dorka juhász

[oatbugs]

the urge to self sabotage bc it would be easier. BUT I WONT DO IT!! I NEED TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN DO THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR ME!

#i have a history of like. wanting to take the hard path and when its Actually Hard instead of #going thru w it i just like...dont do anything. usually i become anxious to the point of illness etc etc #but rn its like...i cannot fuck this up fr i rly have to at least try !! ive been given a good thing i have to at least . try. #i need to be nicer to my future self they are just as much a person as any of my friends that id go out of my way for #by that point we may so different from each other that all the bad things i do that harm my future arent just harming MY future #but also someone distinct from me in many ways. yk. like who are u hurting ? they (future u) may be a stranger at that point #with how much things change. do you have a right to rob them of potential health and happiness? #im not trying to play around w counterfactuals i just need to be kind. i just need to be kind even if its myself. #lets see.

[socksandbuttons]

In the "a day in the life of eclipse" it wasn't the first time Solar's Moon treated him badly. Remember when Lunar first showed up in Solar's dimension, Solar told Moon that there's a dimensional traveler and he'll deal with it. And his Moon responded with "good because I don't care!" it looks like his Moon has been aggressive/treated him badly to him from the start. Sorry, I just didn't understand what you meant by you ignoring the lore from a day in the life of eclipse because it is part of the lore now

You're new on my blog which i frequently ignore things in my headcanons from time to time. And that canon changes from how its interpreted. Anyway, stems from Solar's explaining his moons situation. The lore SLIGHTLY changed. In terms of Moon, being slightly Glitched due to killcodes removal/memory loss. He never mentioned Moon being mean before that (at least not on the terms before he left his dimension). Not unlike things to be slightly aggressive from Moon tho, just it wasnt PERCIEVED moon was a jerk to Solar UNTIL Solar reveals this later on (after Lunars death). They didn't really develop his story until later a little more. So I'm sticking to my previous headcanon of Moon having a glitch, which is canon to s degree? SOLAR himself has mentioned he wanted to fix his MOON AND SUN. Which was forgotten/changed and turned into just sun then into Solar leaving forever.

#like when i say they changed things they turned solars moon into the worst jerk instead of someone needing some help #due to in part of getting Solar in the channel more without running into other montys or moons or worrying about sun. plus a nice eclipse #im sure it wasnt that deep before and suppose to be vague but theyve developed it more #to which is more like a closure to solars tragedy of leaving all that #vs the tragedy of having KNOWN both of them before. and seeing them shells of their former selves #and u technically have both in the former since hes obviously still handling all that #HOWEVER. as much as i like solar being around. #theyve left things in the story that they never really go back on thats normal #so i take what i want really #CANON DIVERGENT WAS THE TERM I WAS LOOKING FOR VFDJKS #sometimes the canon.... i dont want it #i wont put this in the tags #also 'it wasnt the first he treated him badly' that. actually #isnt something u can consder 'treating solar badly' either #considering later u find out moon spent most his time trying to fix sun #anyway im rambling in tags once again

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized. #and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this- #-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace- #-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it- #-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it. #fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get- #-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over. #i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement. #its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every- #-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past. #even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

[limielle]

idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"

#like “i think this is a bad game” is way less abrasive/aggressive than “this is a bad game” #do u know where im going w this like #it's literally 2 extra words and it could avoid like 99% of confrontation #ofc there would still be people who are like “omg how can u hate smth i like ur trash” but idk i feel like so much of this discourse u see #on twt especially #is like ? just people being deliberately aggressive abt stuff they dont like to antagonise others and then going “its just my opinion” #and it's hard to read tone online so it's often hard for me (and im sure for others ?? idk actually) to read whether or not sm1 is being #like. just sharing what they think vs them trying to bait out people who will defend smth they like #idk ive been trying to find ffxiv people to follow bc getting back into the game and finally being confident in my art to draw for it also #has me looking for ppl to follow but i wanna avoid the big livetweet first time experiencers and unfortunately that leaves #a lot of people who are afraid of dawntrail/unhappy with the current patch quests #of which i am neither and i also dont want to log on to the internet every day just to see ppl shitting on things u know ? #and i have seen a LOT of like #'x sucked' and 'fandom lacks critical reading skills' and whatnot #but then u see what theyre talking abt and all theyre doing is shitting on the game itself or going 'x expansion was mid' #like . if u stopped phrasing ur opinions as objective fact i feel like maybe ud avoid half those arguments id k??? #just words #SORRY im talkative today the truth is i worked on a drawing veyr hard and i do not have the strength to colour it but it will not look good #without colour and i feel like i cant move on without it so i went and replayed shadowbringers instead and cried a lot #and now i have lots of icarus feelings again #WOW loiok at me writing an essay out here i overshare so much im sorry

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ever sit like a corpse in your own body? #im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we #deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to #give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway. #who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in #the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when #projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing #dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will #ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do #something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r #stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even #then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a #broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what? #lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything #done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i #think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with #thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno #whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is #hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse #but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday #unrelated

[daydadahlias]

hey jessssssssss can you pretty please say anything about a wip ure writing (ure my most favourite ever i love you mwah ^_^)

hi pookieeeee <3 I CAN say anything about a wip I'm writing (u r my most favorite ever ily2 mwah >3<)

ok so I have a few wips in the works rn (including this shortie one that hopefully I can post fairly soon eek) but what I am most excited about is that I have Officially Started my next Chaptered Fic™ (which is fondly called groupie fic).

I've only just started chapter one (~2k rn) but I'm already in love with it lol and I know it won't be a while until I share it but I'm really excited to !!! :D I love writing chaptered fics and I love having FUN with them. And, bc it's an AU, I've already gotten to plan some stuff and make up some fun things !! like, for instance, Calum is in a ~band~ (not 5sos) that I got to name anddd because the entire fic takes place on a tour, I also got to plan a tour !!! which is. kind of a logistical + geographical nightmare dude bc i had to pick the places, the dates, and the venues within the places blah blah blah but yeah :) I'm really excited about all of it. I even made a tour poster lol <3

but !! yeah !! I'm really excited about my fake little band that Calum is playing in <3 and I'm excited to for him to meet his future fave groupie <3 and I'm really excited to write them falling in love over secret hook-ups at hotels and ~forbidden pasts~ (bc those are my favorite) and I'm excited to get to share it all w/ people when it's written !!!!

thank u for asking :)

#one of my favorite things to do everrrr when i write a fic is make a bunch of graphics + moodboards for it #im always shy abt them tho lol bc i feel like im Not a good editor and it's silly to post stuff like that #but ive already had so much fun with this fic and im literally only 2k into chapter one !!!!!! #pigeon #anon #i like the calum characterization #i love fics that. like. u learn a little more and more over time yknow?? like u start out with some information but #u dont learn EVERYTHING from the jump #im trying to play around with the timeline in this fic and steadily ease people into Forbidden Knowledge #and i like the characterizations i have <3 and the plot <3 and the plans <3 #and yeah literally all ive wanted to do for the last week since I finished ashley's birthday present is write this #the reason i have not posted in the last month is bc ashley is spoiled and i wrote her a 40k private birthday fic lol #so i have been writing <3 just <3 nothing for public eyes #im like 6k into this little ditty id love to share before mid-april #but school is really kicking my butt lately :( so we'll see!! #either way im excited

[samarecharm]

Scheming…

#chattin #taking time to draw and write out a relationship/dynamics chart for the thieves and assorted friends #bc theres. alot. and it would be nice to write it out. it would help establish my thoughts about them #its not poly/thieves but its. kind of adjacent to it. but its less shippy and more focused on how they interact- #-and behave with one another. like theyre kinda bonded together over everything. lines get a little blurred but its what works for them #and i think lumping them all together as poly/thieves is a shortcut for breaking down their character #like obv akira has diff relationships for everyone; but how do THOSE people react to others ?? #like pego/ryu is real and true but also ann is absolutely there. u cannot separate them. #theyre the shujin delinquents to me LOL. they are too tightly bound together to let any external relationship split them at this point #akiras not w goro; its akira AND ryuji w goro. like akira and goro would just not work; but ryuji make its work well yknow? #goro doesnt get third wheeled w ann and vice versa bc ann and goro are good friends; they just hang :) #its like. if u could SEE the fucking string of connections making a mess of my white board in my minds eye…😭 #so im trying to write it down into something that works for me #i dunno. i think its fun :) i did this for ffxv too #only that was way easier bc its just the four of them. but like. how do their internal relationships affect the overall polycule ? #anyway. inspired by that love post; that theres diff kinds of love. and kiss ryuji week LOL #bc i wanted to write a small thing with different thieves for each prompt #and im like how would their relationships differ from one another ? #ryuji and akira but also ryuji with makoto. ryuji w haru. ryuji w yusuke. its like. #u cant use the same thing from most pego/ryu fics bc they DIDNT meet the same way #waugh. #rambling #just know that im insane. i have all these wips and nothing FINISHED. waaa. #this is what that post meant about being obsessed over bad media LMAO. this is just what happens #u stay up thinking about fake polycules from a game that came out seven years ago #i think…. #WHAT. 2016??? #EIGHT years ??? #funny bc i was thinking about how ffxv was eight yesrs old and i am still a mess over it #well. could u imagine if i played p5 when it LAUNCHED instead of in 2020???

[frazzledazzlin]

hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily

#bc i had not used this place in a while until late 2022 ive absolutely forgotten if i used to talk to myself in tags here before or not #i say this bc i now have people who actively see my art here n just throwing random rants here would be very rude so i prefer tags help #feels safer here too LOL #also feels a little scary but im sure that's normal for many that there are ppl who read all tags mein gott #NOT A BAD THING THAT PPL READ TAGS i wouldn't be writing anything if i wanted to kill people for reading tags lol #just stating observations aheem aheem #its like writing on a public bathroom's walls and people passing by to be like “damn bitch ok” /funny #also do not worry at all about how i express myself i do apologize if my words sometimes sound like im on the brink but like #violence is the only way i love to be expressive HELP #watch me be on the government watchlist for the shit ive said gootbyeeeeeeee #but do not feel worried i will be ok eventually every time. sometimes i just gotta explode oh so violently to deflate and feel normal again #WISH I COULD USE EMOJIS ON THIS DAMN PC #anyway the person im trying my damned to avoid is Sure Making It Difficult #at least the people i wanted to know why i was autotune crying baby for a while heard me out n im alive in that regard finally smile emoji #how long can you keep gently hinting you want to distance yourself from somebody until you lose your goddam mind and feel sweet relief when #they actually leave said group themselves after getting my blunt hints help help #oh i sound so fucking rude with just my side but mein gott i don't care bc it was never a serious thing to begin with #just shot my anger thru the roof for good reason and finalliegh im getting mutual distance from that person lol #never get close with ur fave artists worst mistake of my life /hj for real #u start off loving seeing them every time and then boom youre sad how things turned out every time you see them my god #also make sure ur minor friends dont feel like they need to mend things for the adults i feel so fucking sad for someone bc of this rn but #i talked to them n hopefully they understand aouhg. #anyway back to queer posting thats enough soup for today good god #ranting

[lesbianbishounen]

there are some pieces of media that i love a lot for a variety of reasons but most of the content on social media about it is ship related. and a lot of the time i like said ships as well but theyre not the reason something impacted me at all i want other kinds of content. but if i have to read a single analysis post from an online stranger that i disagree with i might start blowing people up with my mind

#moral of the story is to only have serious conversations abt stuff u like with ur friends #ill be fr i was thinking about trigun typing this but i could name other things #like witch hat atelier. almost every single piece of wha art ive seen online is orufrey and i love them but like Damn #kingdom hearts too i feel like thats the fanbase that really made it clear to me that i do not like being engaged w fandoms at large #idk. the constant war between me being like 'damn it kinda sucks that some aspects of things i like arent typically discussed online' #vs that allowing me to live my life in peace and never be at risk of seeing someones wrong opinion #bcus i get so fucking tilted when i do. being really into dbz last year was rough for me i was so fucking mad all the time #trying to find character study fics (dont ask) and constantly being like 'he would not fucking say that.' #feel like this also doesnt really bother me for some stuff like orv. like yes joongdok is literally everywhere but #so much of that novel loops back into them that like. a lot of the fanart u see of them reflects themes of the novel itself. #does this make sense. like i still want more hsy art but it doesnt bother me that much that kdj and yjh are literally omnipresent #anyways i love tumblr i can blab as much as i want in the tags vs on twit i have to make longass threads #which makes it look like im posting for engagement or w/e. im not i just need my thoughts out of my head #chatots

[arsenicflame]

[in which i reread the angela comics for every reference to the anchorites so i can prepare for a post about sera i am probably never going to write]

#i am actually incapable of thinking properly #i have the thoughts in my head!!! but the second i try to write it out in any way intellectual i simply fail #i feel like yall actually dont get the worst of that. it stays in drafts. its way worse when i speak i stutter + slur + forget words So much #anyway #its probably for the best #ill stay silly :3 #nyxtalks #its just. so interesting. hevens society and the segregation and misandry and the way sera exists as a direct contradiction to everything #that is said about the anchorites and im just!!!!!!! #god i love sera so much. #they say thw anchorites are weak but here is sera; fighting alongside hevens greatest soldier #and just #it's affirmation of seras gender shes not like all the things they say about the men but also its a statement that we are wrong about them #and it can be read both ways and i like to read it as both because the plight of the anchorites is so important to sera #i don't see her saying it to distance herself from them everything she wants is to prove that anchorites are MORE #[screams] #sorry i said i wouldn't angela post but u already knew that was a lie these girls r everything to me #im like. 10x more unhinged about angela than izzy theres just. feedback with izzy? we encourage each other but I have to do angela to myself #read the angela comics boy [threat]

[toytulini]

feels very strange to get podcast ads about how pride friendly orlando is rn what with the current political conditions of florida for very large swathes of the queer community

i mean i dont have any suggestions for like idk the marketing team of the orlando tourism board to do any better like i certainly wouldnt know how to advertise rn, thats a rough hand youre stuck with and i hope your shit ass transphobe fascist politicians drop dead.

just. wild to hear rn

#toy txt post #and like maybe it is a pride friendly area within florida but like the fact that im getting advertised it from a very different state #its just Feels Very Weird. its like the same energy as when companies started having normal ads again about having like #holiday gatherings and football parties in like 2021/2022? like no actually the unprecedented times are still upon us. your pandemic ads #were insufferable for sure like they felt very weird and stupid and patornizing and but you have somehow managed to Make It Worse #thats kinda how it feels like the same vibe. it was one thing before it was pride month and it was just like casually trying to convince me #to come to universal and disney but now its june so theyre talking about their Gay Days #and like it would almost certainly be very weird and uncomfortable if it was like listen we acknowledge the current guy we have #is going like full blown fascist with an intent on genociding queer and particularly trans ppl but like listen we installed this new ride #and we'd really like for it to pay for itself with ticket sales or whatever. idk just feels weird. i dont know if i have a suggestion for #the advertising board of tourism in orlando to do differently like i dont have a suggestion for them except to maybe get that fucker out of #office. and it probably feels less weird if ur like In The State or in another state with similar horrifying shit #its probably like well whatever and thats fair. i mean its not fair i hope all your transphobic fascist ass politicians drop dead and that #yall will be safe #anyway. just. very weird. anyway idk. @mouse if you kill desantis with no mercy just fucking destroy his ass #ill forgive u a little bit and consider hitting up your extremely expensive theme park if i have the funds. universal if u pitch in on #destorying that bastard ill consider visiting you again too. again if i have the funds. i wont go to the terf wizard section but i do want #to see the new hulk track 🥺 #ppl of florida especially marginalized ppl of florida. you deserve so much fucking better than you got im so sorry #floridian govt makes me so mad for like the regular human reasons of. they suck for a lot of fucking people and also the very important and #unique ecosystems yall have down there but also for the personal selfish reasons of. florida seems like Really Cool if it didnt have #like #the fascists. and gun culture. id love the climate. well. on the Atlantic side. gulf too warm for me personally. so many creatures down #there. cool places and you got those Very themey theme parks and listen i would like disney to have less power ( #(AFTER THEY DISEMBOWEL DESANTIS. I WANT THEM TO DESTROY HIM AND HIS CRONIES FIRST. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING) #but like they did kinda go off with the Theming. i do love that. universal too BUT. not to derail this post into roller coasters but also #sorry that is a thing im incapablw of being normal about sorry UH universal also went tf off with the themeing and i Love it HOWEVER #i do with the coasters were more. visible. i cant speak for disney i only went once as a very small tiny child and i remember nothing #but i went to universal in high school like Right before they completely retracked hulk and the theming was incredible i was obsessed. #but there was no way to see most of the coasters without actually riding them which i did find very disappointing.

[voidimp]

trying to find any information on anything is so fucking impossible these days

#i just want. web hosting that also has file hosting where i dont have to like have the files Displayed On The Site #i dont even know like. what thats called #but nothing ever seems to specify one way or the other?? #like i feel like thered be some sort of phrasing that id see & be like oh maybe thats what im looking for #but no. it just doesnt seem to be mentioned #& so many sites are like. oh were designed to work with wordpress!! like cool but i dont CARE about that #i want to build my site from scratch actually. #i want to be able to host images that i can use elsewhere on the internet without necessarily having them on an Actual Page of my website #ik godaddy does this. bc i used to use them waaaaay back in like 2007 or so lmfao #but ive heard some Not So Great things abt them so ive been trying to look into other options #(but honestly i might just use them bc id probably hear Not So Great things about Everyone) #(it seems to just be standard business practice at this point) #idk. theres a site called dreamhost i might try but idk if they have the features i want #ig if anyone has any input on any of this lmk #either abt godaddy or dreamhost or if u know of any good alternatives #i dont even need anything super complex just like. custom domain name. file hosting. security that doesnt suck #this is probably all standard i just hate how hard it is to actually find the info #& i dont want to sign up for 10579348 free trials to find out #this is all in the tags bc. the post applies to so much more than just this lmao #this is just my Current Issue