#im happier with some than others

[neonsbian]

a loser or a babygirl? 🤔

#wayv #nct #nctinc #wayvnet #xiaojun #xiao dejun #i feel like u can see me learning how to use ps thro these gifs lmao #im happier w some of these more than others lol #anyway this is the gifset ive been thinking of making since last week finally have the ability to make it <3 #gifs

[crow-with-a-pencil]

I may have been consumed by the detective au brain rot

Found this song recently and was immediately possessed by the creative spark to make something with it, so here's the extremely rough result of using only a 6B pencil tool.

Hope u like :)

Song lyrics: "Rule #15 - Four Aces" by Fish in a Birdcage

Detective au by @starlightcloudbaby , fic is Sleuth Jesters by @naffeclipse

#there are some panels I'm much happier with than others #but I'm just gonna post before I obsess over it forever #too tired to water mark just DO NOT REPOST without permission #hey naff remember when I said I loved your fic? I'm saying it again #I don't have the time rn to do clean lineart so im trying to be more ok with posting rough pencil sketches #hopefully y'all like it #my ârt #fnaf daycare attendant #detective au #sleuth jesters fic #fish in a birdcage #I'm a little unsure about the style changes but whatever. post. #tw gun #tw blood #sleuth jesters #fnaf #fnaf y/n

[kinectdon]

im about to be such a stupid hater but as an aromantic person i hate the httyd 3 ending.

#YES i know its similar to the books ending #but idk man toothless leaving hiccup to go live far away with some random dragon he met like two days ago after he and hiccup have basically #grown up together just rubs me the wrong way #they've been through so much together #both literally saving the life of the other at one point #and YES i know they didn't just leave bc of that #but CMON THEIR FRIENDSHIP??? toothless and hiccup care so much about eachother #they're basically eachother's whole world #they're soulmates even /p #even valka tells her son that he has the soul of a dragon #idc what ppl say #idc if the ending was supposed to be ''realistic'' #it's a fictional world they could've came up with a happier ending where they didn't have to get separated #also i love love love astrid #dont get me wrong #but even since i was a kid i never really cared that much about her's and hiccups relationship #← aka aroace person speaking #yeah they have a lot of cute moments together #just bc im aroace that doesn't mean i cant find their relationship really cute #but again the friendship between dragons and humans is what the story is all about #idk where im going with this anymore sorry #im tired n mad n i just wanted to talk about one of my favorite franchises in the world #i love to just pretend the actual stayed together at the end of the third movie n also the light fury doesnt really exist #sorry but thats a topic for another post #bc i feel like this one has too many tags already #not that i completely hate the light fury #its more complicated than that

[electric-plants]

xianyun’s story quest cutscene was so so beautiful, the visuals, the message, reconnecting us to the traveler and their emotions like i’m just in awe of how much genshin has stepped it up lately omg

#genshin impact #xianyun #gi xianyun #xianyun story quest #genshin spoilers #cloud retainer #xianyun story quest spoilers #im actually going crazy what a GOOD story quest oh my god #i think they balanced it a lot better than some of the others too #the npcs were actually interesting with a good story #but they still managed to keep cloud retainer a BIG focus which i loved #ive been so much happier with the newer story quests compared to some of the old ones #feel like they’re really hitting a stride with it #and the animations are just getting better and better like oh my god #that was absolutely stunning #and im SO glad they took the time to remind us of the traveler and their actual goal and emotions #it felt so absent in fontaine to me #so ive been feeling a bit disconnected from you know the MAIN PLOT lol #honestly this quest alone did wonders #you really can get your audience re-engaged with even the slightest thing

[eternalvanitas]

sometimes i sit down and wonder if im actually trans or if im just a liar and then i think about it for longer and realize it literally does not matter

#🗒 #im a man. i call myself a man. other ppl refer to me as a man. my siblings call me their brother. my mom calls me her son. #who givea shit #like even if im wrong at the end of the day 'this is my brother' still makes me happier to hear than 'this is my sister' #someone calling me their daughter / niece / granddaughter is still more irritating than anything else could be #sooo even if its just like a terminology preference or some shit why would that matter? #we stay silly and such

[arts-i-enjoy]

Something I've noticed from subbing to just a couple of very small patreons (like fewer than 50 members) is how SHY people are about talking to the creator that they are paying! What's up with that? I wonder if it's because most of these patrons come via tumblr, where there is the culture of talking in the tags/reblogs and comments being your "outdoor voice"/basically it being RUDE to talk to people.

I think that's fucked up, especially in the context of artists (just to be clear every time I say artists that is inclusive of writers). Like these are people that are making a thing and showing it to you, they don't just want silent nods of approval by way of reblogs/likes. They want FEEDBACK. They want CONNECTION. I think a fundamental part of creating and sharing art is the goal of connection. And I don't think people realize how truly disheartening it is to post something and then get completely silent likes/reblogs.

For the love of God they are TALKING TO YOU. TALK BACK!!!!

#i love you arts-i-enjoy where i can post thoughts direct from my brain and trust that no one will ever see it 😌 #this post brought to you by: me #i get we're on tumblr where most of the interactions we see are people saying the most batshit things #but literally just be nice and respectful and i swear to you i promise you people will be happy you commented #talking in the tags is good!!! i do that a lot on art and stuff! but also on platforms like ao3 or patreon where the only option is comment #DO THAT. THAT IS WAY BETTER THAN NOTHING. #maybe im projecting but i Always love it when people talk to me as long as they are kind #i just. think we could be nicer to each other. and make each other happier #also thinking about the times ive trained people are my job and my friend who is a Trainer for their job #and how absolutely soul crushing it is to talk and talk and know that people are there and are choosing not to talk back to you #like the people in training that just. laugh at my dumb little light hearted comment. i owe them everything #oof throw back to the day i spent 8 hours training 15 people in a class together and i think the whole time 2 of them came of mute ever #destroy your voice and also your enthusiasm with this one easy 8 hour trick! you will want to sleep for three days! #god im such a fucking people person how did i ever think i was a hardcore “”“”introvert“”“” #nooo baby youre just completely socially isolated and depressed meet some people you actually like and you will see the light baby girl #this week is gonna fucking kill me. my last local friends are moving to a different state. im gonna be alone. in florida #gahhhhhhhhh #anyways yeah talk to people about the stuff they make itll enrich both of you <3

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Talked to my friend Eric for the first time in over a year

He

Got

A

Cat

His name is Theodore and he's fuckin adorable

Look at this little floof

Hes gonna be a fluffy bastard like harley

#hes living with his boyfriend now who also has a cat #he seems so much happier than the last time i saw him in person (march 2020 just before the world went to shit) #im so happy for him #was very surprised he got a cat tho cuz the whole time ive known him hes been like my dad about cats #''cats suck dogs are so much better and love you so much more'' that kinda shit #he was starting to come around to them a few years ago but hes also super allergic #guess he got some allergy meds finally #besties a cat dad now and its a good look on him #we spent the next 30 minutes sending each other cat and dog pictures and talking about our cats

[criticalgay]

hate when people act like them having a hard time somehow excuses the shit they put you through. like girl you having a hard time shouldn't be everyone else's hard time. I'm not the side character to your main character. I do in fact have feelings too.

#🙄🙄🙄 #'im doing badly so i get to treat you badly' #right and all other of us are okay and not miserable so we should put up with you continously treating us like trash? got it got it #and even if we werent all mentally ill as well #just because someone is happier than you doesnt mean you get to treat them worse #your mental illness is not a badge of honor that entitles you to being a toxic asshat whenever you feel like it #take some fkng responsibility for the way you hurt ppl istg

[dirt-str1der]

I keep thinking about the mechanics for how to make kazumaji happen outside of adrenaline fuelled lovemaking , like obviously majima isnt going to solicit him for an actual relationship because whatever they have going on is already more than he expected to get because majima isnt a wanting man he gets dealt his hand then he plays (plus hes waiting for someone else , he cant leave and have his story end with kiryu , they both know this) , kiryu isnt a wanting man either i mean not for his love life but you know this guy fights like hell to get what he wants. He doesn’t exactly have a problem pulling girls but its the commitment after thats the issue , he always has someplace to be thats not here no matter how suave and charming he is youre gonna be wondering why he ghosted you for three years then find out he just got released from prison the point is that he doesnt follow through. Once youre done with him then youre done and very rarely is he gonna come back (unless he wasnt actually done with you). Majima offers to help him out in osaka and kiryu says no no no see ive left you behind i have to live this next chapter of my life properly now , without you. He has this inability to understand that people want to spend time with him thats not him helping them / repaying him a favour / working together to achieve a common goal. You literally cant assume he’ll be around you really have to cling tight or he’ll find some reason to fuck off and by then you cant even ask him to stay because Shit is it a good reason. Y0 nishiki got so so fucking close to showing kiryu he didnt need to have any redeeming qualities for people to like hanging out with him. He didnt need to be fun or like to party or entertaining at all , just him sitting quietly on a nearby barstool and maybe clapping along is enough to make his night fun as hell. Im sure kiryu realises that he can be distant and lack initiative , im sure this self awareness has convinced him that hes an undesirable long term romantic partner , and majima fucking up big time with mirei also forces him to internalise the fact that hes not a good partner either. So the two of them have to really really Really want something to start it because otherwise theyd be gracefully and expertly sidestepping any mention of commitment , pirouetting around the word “partner”, assuming they’ve made things clear when no discussion had taken place. They dont figure it out because its obvious to everybody thats not them, all the thinly veiled offers to be useful to each other, the leaning forward when they speak to each other , the open mouthed kisses with tongue , they want each other. More than one time , more than This... but how does one communicate something they havent realised yet ...

#Yakuza loveblog #now hear me out .. kiryu only asks girls out but he wont say no if a guy (he likes) solicits him (if its a guy he doesnt like hed be like #EW !! no !!! <- using his homophobic voice) so bear with me. kazumaji can happen the moment kiryu realises that majima is a girl #i like tht kiryu isnt interested in long term relationships but also hes kind of horny. a barker would be like Hey ! you look like you have #big muscles / a deep voice / masculine energy Sir do you want to HAVE SEX ? And kiryus like Now you got me interested #girls will sexually harrass him but guys on the street will tell him shit like Im a straight man but .... #anyway i believe that majima has to get the ball rolling before kiryu can take it the whole way because he decides that he loves this a lot #i think that they should book a hotel room in osaka for about two to three hours (kiryu is not going to risk doing it in the orphanage) and #kiryu loves him enough to tell him i cleaned my ass for this <3 and when majima is sack deep he asks if kiryu has had any girlfriends since #leaving tokyo (he cares a lot. he would be happy if kiryu got a girlfriend to take care of him) and he laughs and asks him how the hell hes #supposed to get a girlfriend while taking care of nine kids and besides .. he only likes him. right now kiryu only likes majima ... #i think he might cry from being told that. i really think he likes kiryu a ridiculous amount and it made him melt to hear that #sometimes a home is a person because you can come inside #and the only thing kiryus waxing is poetic hashtag bush nation #im not done. sorry for signing off. i believe that majima doesnt get jealous he might get a bit melancholy but he wont lash out because #kiryus ‘seeing some other girl’ he would totally ship them forgive my phrasing hed be the best wingman ever he would also drill kiryus #partner like hiiii so this is the lucky lady <3 and conduct a full background check on her just to be safe. kiryus precious to him he #gotta scare her a bit. let her know just how important kiryu is to him and how sharp his knife is haha take it easy though. hope you make #him happier than i could. i think their relationship will always skew one way with majima knowing everything about kiryu and kiryu knowing #very little about majima. he would be surprised to learn that majima is divorced. he was surprised to know that majima had a brother #in a better universe kiryu would have been able to identify saejima by description alone. as it stands i think he might have had an inkling #looking at ... ‘suzuki’ and thinking majima had a brother in prison .. hmmm ... somehow this guy reminds me of him ..... somehow #anyway he knows majima doesnt like to talk about it so he forgets his past and takes him as he is now. doesnt ask where all those scars on #his wrists came from. doesnt ask about his ex wife. hes content to exist as they are and majima knows kiryu wont ask and he feels bad about #it because he thinks kiryu should know .. but the words dont come out and kiryu is always so understanding ... #i think saejima makes majima talk but thats cause hes big on communication. he squeezes it out of majima and he cries hearing what he was #put through and majima comes out of it raw but lighter. see saejima is his best friend but kiryu is his special baby boy the dont need to #they dont have to say anything theyre just here for the company #okay im done hii hiiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiii hi

[noxtivagus]

hell yeah im done w school for the week <3

#🌙.rambles #i love getting lost n just focusing on some assignment like that #aaaa now my thoughts r wandering again now that i'm done tho ;; #the past few weeks have been kinda shitty but i'm gna do better now #yh i started this school year feeling tired so that didn't really go well #i'll rest well this weekend n do better from now on #i can always choose to do better. #little steps! i'll just do what i can in a given moment #i'm just try n communicate more tho bcs that's where most distance comes from #i still have this urge to hide tho hhhh n i have regrets but #i need to look onwards to tmrrw n see what more i can do #if i'm happier than i was before then that's enough. that's enough for me #yes even if it hurts n aches i'll just accept what i can do at a certain time! #if i'm not kind n patient w myself then where else cld i find that? #i'm gna build that strength from the inside again #honestly haven't been feeling like myself lately #slowly. once more. i'll find myself again #i just need to be patient and kind to myself! #i need to stop isolating n distancing myself from others tho whenever i feel sad n tired ;; #im sorry i still care for you all but >< i dont want to force myself to be better if im not #so i try to feel the pain i guess? ive had ppl invalidate my emotions before so one thing im trying to actively do is #not deny my emotions. im not gna invalidate myself. its hard for me honestly but im trying #n it gets too tiring some days to get the energy to reach out #im trying tho! i want to be better everyday n i think that's enough #i'm only human; it's alright for be to be in pain right? i'm not perfect. #i'm just as imperfect as everyone else but i'm proud of my mindset of wanting to be self-aware of the good and bad and improve. #n still thinking of others! i do need to accept that its hard to manage all the love n care n depth of emotions n thoughts i have at times #n. i make mistakes but i'm still a kind person at heart #i say that but i can't exactly believe it completely just yet;; #i'll remind myself that the pain is valid. we all deserve better. it's alright for me to not be perfect.

[souloftheintrovert]

mm i’d rather watch modern day south park than modern day family guy

#.souloftheintrovert #honestly #modern day family guy is so fucking violent.. and thats coming from a dark humor enthusiast #’its dark humor’ yes but wheres the humor? #hurting others for no reason isnt funny on its own #random ≠ funny #modern day south park isnt like the older days but #at least i dont have to see characters being mercilessly beaten every 5 seconds because 1. its funny and 2. its ‘unexpected’ #all i have to put up with is matt & trey trying to be hip n’ cool with the minecrafts & the tiktoks #plus canon gay couple. im happy. #like isnt quagmire’s mom trans? and they made fun of her for it? was that an actual episode or some fanmade thing i saw on youtube #either way i’ll take a canon gay couple than that shit any day #i feel like seth is purposely trying to get the ratings to drop so fox will finally drop the show but idk.. #cant blame him if that was true. in fact i’d be happier if it were. family guy has went on for long enough. south park too but according to #my sources.. south park will only have 30 seasons (5 left) another game and a movie or movies. there IS an end in sight unlike family guy #albeit that end being years away #but then again me and my sources have been known to be wrong so i guess we’ll have to see #oh and simpsons? nah i cant.

[etherylelixyr]

Fucccckkkkk (the feels man)

#idk leaving texts for X so they see them in the morning #and i wanna tell them everything #i wanna tell them that im sorry for basically becoming a ghost of myself for 2 years and ignorning them and only hanging out with V #on the outside everything looked perfect but it was so mutually toxic and destructive but we revelled in the self destruction and pain #and it was our secret. fueling our habits and shutting everyone else out #we were both so depressed but the high from it all was worth it... at the time #looking back i feel sad for that-era us #that-era me #i left all the people who truly wanted the best for me. who were my closest friends. who loved me more than i loved them... #now im back. officially. no more of this self destructive sad mess of a ghost creature. #but i cant change the past... #i still left X for so long without an explanation. and it looks like i chose someone else over them. i wish i could explain to them #that it's not like that. #i didnt have a choice... it all just sort of swallowed me... #i felt so lost and so dead. #but now im ok. #we were talking about Who Is most Likely To in the new friend group.. and one of the questions was Likely to Change their Personality #and X turned to me and went. well Elixyr has known me long enough to see that happen- #and yeah ive known them waaay longer than any of their current friends. #and yeah. theyve changed. and so have i. #but the change wasnt some edgy Change my Entire Personality thing. it was just... becoming less mentally ill... and sad... #and trying to be a better n happier person #but theyre still sad... and i wish they werent. i wish i was around before to make them happy... fuck i hate past me. #sometimes we talk and i realise just how much theu push all of it down. they tell me about how theu want to drink themselves to sleep a lot #and thats... worrying... #and i wish i were a better friend. i wish i knew how to comfort them better. they dont understand why i care so much about them #and i want to hug them and tell them that im so sorry. i feel so guilty that i might have added to their lack of self worth #and im a massive hypocrite. i tell them that theyre not responsible for other peoples feelings and to not think about it like that. #i wanna tell them that no matter how much they think theyve changed. theyre still the same person i loved since the start. #but they'd take that the wrong way... i wanna tell them that it's them. it'll always be them. and im sorry.

[vagueiish]

i've been told a number of times that mental illness is a dirty, filthy, no good liar. but like..... what if it isn't?

#to me anyway. it's lying to the rest of you. dont use me as a guide #but. anyway.... #im much more inclined to give the mental illness and negativity the benny of the doubt than not yknow? #there's a non-zero chance (for example) that im right about the people around me merely tolerating my presence #and theyd be much happier if i were to just.... not be there #there's a non-zero chance the opposite is true i suppose but... #i know im awkward and off-putting and weird and also Not Good Looking #so evidence suggests the more negative scenario is true. right? #idk. what if i choose to believe that people do appreciate me and want me around only for it to be revealed that i was right the first time? #this kinda thing has happened before lol :'') #it was a situation i created myself i think so maybe it falls under self-fulfilling prophecy but. it still happened #the brain doesnt care if shit is homegrown lmao #i just dont want to be wrong #yknow? #im fuckin terrified of doing the stuff and working on loving myself #only to come to a point where all the alleged bullshit nonsense i used to believed about myself turns out to be true #is there proof somewhere? something refuting what im feeding myself?? #i know confirmation bias or whatever is a thing. maybe i need to be more vigilant looking for evidence to the contrary but. like.... #i dont know what im looking for really. or that i expect to find much of anything.... #i guess people are nice enough to me but it's horrifyingly easy to find ulterior motives behind being nice #they pity me. theyre nice to the weirdo to feel good aboit doing some good deed. theyre a masochist. etc etc. #and if you ask people straight up why theyre being nice to you they get defensive. understandably i guess but. #why would someone else be genuinely decent to me (says the 'liar' in my head) im not even nice to me #i suppose i should just trust other people but. lol. trust does not come easy #i want to believe people are genuine. i can kind of believe it from a distance #but.... #idk. i need sleep. i need to be up early #save me nyquil #to the void with love

[botseeksbot]

#abandoned this bc i got too sentimental abt v/b and how much i like the characters #but im liking how this is turning out ^_^ #much happier w this design... i really liked his previous one but this one just feels better #there was charm in his previous one bc he looked way younger than 40+ #not to say he looks way older here but his other one could have passed as in his 20s #which isnt terrible bc hes really 30/31 he just tells everyone he's 40+ #might edit some changes though . idk yet i will look at this again later and decide #my art

[avacadokin]

This is the part in the story where i read ahead to the ending

#its getting a little to close to some of my past trauma and i can handle it if it's a happier ending or at least hopeful #and i really really like where this is going im so intrested in it #but im more scared than i can handle (and handle my other responsibilities lmao) #and i really wanna know the ending now so i can just focus on the details and the fun and the plot #not the scary #theories are so cool and i love playing around in that space #but i think in this instance id rather know everything and not be able to play cuz i think id enjoy it more #i should prolly take a step back but i need to know more i cant not #qsmp has me in a chokehold #also this over emotion stuff might just be cuz im really sleppy atm #idk i have lots of thoughts #and even more emotions #i love how passionate i can be about things and how much i care so quickly about everything #but it also leads to me having too many emotions i can't control at inconvient times #it feels like im trying to brag when i complain about being over empathetic but it does actually inconvenience me a loot #also like if being overempethetic can hurt me and does not necessarily make me a good person and can make me refocus situations #that should be focused on others on me #its logical to conclude that being under-empethetic is similar in can inconvenience but does not make you a bad person #i love my empathy level but it does hurt me at times and i don't think everyone should necessarily be more like me/more empathetic #it makes me more me #but me does not mean inherently good #i can love what makes me me without insiting that its the pinacle of humanity #idk rambling #sleppy time now

[othercrossee]

Idk how people who love our culture do it. Every time I do even a bit of research about it, there's always some dumbasses fighting each other

#z rambles #'thiefland claimbodia' i hope i die i hope we all die im serious #i can go on about this for years and it would mean nothing. no argument could make both side happy and its tiring #im already not really that patriotic uhhh im not close to my own culture at all and maybe thats why i dont care too much #but yall need to shut the fuck up sometimes like im sure theres other things in the world thats happier to do than this #im saying this to both sides. yall r annoying as hell 🚶 #im sure at some point u realize the ongoing war between these countries is the reason why our culture is very much interwined #i get where both sides come from but its such a useless battle i hope we all die i really do