#but i cant change the past...

[etherylelixyr]

Fucccckkkkk (the feels man)

#idk leaving texts for X so they see them in the morning #and i wanna tell them everything #i wanna tell them that im sorry for basically becoming a ghost of myself for 2 years and ignorning them and only hanging out with V #on the outside everything looked perfect but it was so mutually toxic and destructive but we revelled in the self destruction and pain #and it was our secret. fueling our habits and shutting everyone else out #we were both so depressed but the high from it all was worth it... at the time #looking back i feel sad for that-era us #that-era me #i left all the people who truly wanted the best for me. who were my closest friends. who loved me more than i loved them... #now im back. officially. no more of this self destructive sad mess of a ghost creature. #but i cant change the past... #i still left X for so long without an explanation. and it looks like i chose someone else over them. i wish i could explain to them #that it's not like that. #i didnt have a choice... it all just sort of swallowed me... #i felt so lost and so dead. #but now im ok. #we were talking about Who Is most Likely To in the new friend group.. and one of the questions was Likely to Change their Personality #and X turned to me and went. well Elixyr has known me long enough to see that happen- #and yeah ive known them waaay longer than any of their current friends. #and yeah. theyve changed. and so have i. #but the change wasnt some edgy Change my Entire Personality thing. it was just... becoming less mentally ill... and sad... #and trying to be a better n happier person #but theyre still sad... and i wish they werent. i wish i was around before to make them happy... fuck i hate past me. #sometimes we talk and i realise just how much theu push all of it down. they tell me about how theu want to drink themselves to sleep a lot #and thats... worrying... #and i wish i were a better friend. i wish i knew how to comfort them better. they dont understand why i care so much about them #and i want to hug them and tell them that im so sorry. i feel so guilty that i might have added to their lack of self worth #and im a massive hypocrite. i tell them that theyre not responsible for other peoples feelings and to not think about it like that. #i wanna tell them that no matter how much they think theyve changed. theyre still the same person i loved since the start. #but they'd take that the wrong way... i wanna tell them that it's them. it'll always be them. and im sorry.

[quakiebaka]

“I’d never abandon him when he needs me”- macaque/wukong to each other at some point probably

hello lmk fandom here’s my first genuine post on the show that’s had a grip on me for the past six months. and of course its shadowpeach. oh well! thank you monkie kid for getting me back into art! season 4 has broken me!!!

#lego monkie kid #lmk macaque #six eared macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #shadowpeach #i cannot tell you how much I enjoyed drawing these two #drew macaque first as a warm up and wukong just came along naturally #these two see their own past friendship so much in mk and mei you cant convince me otherwise #like what was this scene supposed to mean then??? they're thinkin about it #wukong has freckles because i like the idea that they're from the sun #he is sunkissed <3 #dont be surprised if my designs for them change im workin on it! #quakie's post #quakie art

[canonkiller]

if you want people with low vision (me) to be able to discern anything in your art (I want to look at it) consider taking the few extra seconds to make the background and subject different colors, even if it's a simple sketch

it looks nice and also means people with vision issues (me.) can make out what it is more easily. and fewer Bright White Boxes is much easier on the eyes in general

#this isnt a Super Duper Information Post i just have to scroll past a lot of art because i cant see snything in a solid white box #and i wanna see :( so if it inspires you to make that little change it is helpful. to me #and others. but i am posting about me #not art

[hearty-an0n]

if im alex nedeljkovic im bursting into tears the second i get into the locker room so everybody feels bad

#<3 #pens lb #AND IF IM TRISTAN JARRY IM PLACING A STEADYING HAND ON HIS BACK AND GLARING AT PEOPLE!!! #yes this is the other post copy and pasted with a name change #i cant copy and paste tags though so. get the tag slightly fucked up

[puppyeared]

man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!! #and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

[luzisahomosexual]

The foxes just won another game. Neil waddles over to Andrew to celebrate using his racket cos he’s so exhausted. When he gets there, he smiles at him before falling to the floor. Without a word, Andrew sits down in front of him. They both sit there silently, staring into each others eyes with their foreheads pressed together.

And that’s how the press and fans started speculating about their relationship😋

#I can’t write for shit but they have been taking up 99% of my thoughts for the past 2 weeks and #I keep imagining lil scenarios like this so thought I’d post one if idk #this is probably rlly cringe but wtva💀 #HELP THEY HAVE CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY #I CANT GO 10 MINUTES WITHOUT THINKING OF THEM #AND THE BOOKS IN GENERAL #I GET HYPERFIXATIONS ALL THE TIME BUT THEY ARE RARELY AS INTENSE AS THIS😭 #the last time it was this bad was when young royals s1 first came out and #I felt physically sick if I wasn’t watching the show #like literally #I had a shower and after it I was literally rolling round on the floor cos I felt so sick #love that #yey autism #woop woop #andreil #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil have taken over my life

[spacerockband]

notes on past and future link

#specifically for this au. i have slightly different feelings about canon bc i think PL is less of a hardass bc he doesnt Know what happens #calamity unwritten #calamity unwritten comic #loz #botw #hyrule warriors #hyrule warriors age of calamity #time travel au #zelda #link #loz link #digital art #art tag #comics #comic #and sillies #in case you were forgetting how much of a self indulgent au this is im introducing you to my 10 page essay on link's gender journey #Past link has been changed by the circumstances and the burden of knowledge. hes usually sillier around at least zelda but now he feels #like he has to be Extra Closed Off because of how open future link is. there will be more notes in the future i have a lot of thoughts that #i cant always cram into the comic. though its all in there Technically #in the subtext #ignore what time im posting this ill queue it for normal hours. later.

[transphilza]

support group for people who joined the dsmp fandom after april of 2021 because the only major server event (that wasn’t an Ending) that we got to experience with the community was the fucking prison break

#‘remember when wilbur started his stream on nov16 and tick tick boom was playing and it was like-‘ NO!!!!! IM SORRY!!!!! IM A FRAUD!!!!!!!!! #im SUPER greatful i got to see Almost all of the revivebur streams live though. like seriously ❤️❤️ #and a few las nevadas ones. like we’ve had great stuff dont get me wrong #but man i do really wish id gotten to see stuff like lmanberg and nov16 and doomsday and all that live #its pain bc i LITERALLY WATCHED SO MANY OF THE CCS ALREADY AT THAT PT #id watched s.mp live so i knew Everyone from there And i watched drm since his first few videos #i just Didnt Have The Time to watch :( #also on a more serious level i didnt get to see that much of technos lore live because he was diagnosed not long after i made this blog #its just. yeahh. it doesnt make me seriously upset cause you cant change the past like it doesnt matter #but i do think about it wistfully

[litl-rat-dude]

Epel from my recent vid on the clock app

#YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW PAINFUL MAKING THAT VIDEO WAS #WHEN I TRIED EXPORTING IT FROM CSP ANYTHING EXPORTED FROM THAT FILE SPECIFICALLY TURNED INTO A GHOST FILE #SO I MADE A NEW FILE AND HAD YO COPY AND PASTE #WHILE I WAS EDITING STUFF TOGETHER IN CAPCUT I REALIZED I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE FPS OF THE NEW FILE SO I HAD TO RE EDIT IT THE THING #and now i have multiple files on my computer that i cant delete because THEY DONT EXIST #twst

[moonfireshadow]

Something I noticed in today's entry that I hadn't before was Dracula monologuing about his "heritage" (def just him in different moustaches and clothing). The most notable line to me at the end is when he says, "blood is precious in these dishonourable times of peace," and 1. That's such a raw fucking take. 2. It makes me a bit sad for Dracula? Bc think about it. You were raised a war lord of the huns (if I read this monologue correctly), your entire purpose has really been to protect your land from being enslaved. You've been fighting non stop and were praised and lauded for it, for being a blood thirsty monster. And then somehow you actually became one. And then the war times were over. And suddenly you're a monstrous relic of a bloodier time, something disapraged and rebuffed as a monster. People are afraid of you and no longer look to you as some kind of protector. And its because you're no longer their protector, you still need blood. You still want glory. You're still stuck in a time of war and blood and that's the very sustinence you have sustained yourself and this land on all your life. The world has outgrown it's use and need for you, but you're still here. You're still stuck here and now you're the very monster people fear. And you can't change, you won't change. What do you even do at that point? You can't outgrow your life's purpose, but the world around you has.

#dracula #dracula daily #im not saying he's sympathetic in the slightest and not defending him #i guess im just stuck thinking about this scenario #the world outgrows you #but you cant grow or move on #its no longer in your nature #to be a relic of the past living and breathing and stuck in a moment for all eternity #me personally id beg for death #but Dracula choses to move #and he can run and move all he wants but his nature never changes #was there ever a chance for him?

[katzenkarussell]

Der Nesträuber

The nest robber - this was such a fun piece to make :) A bit of a "What if" situation

#Koraidon #Pokemon Scarlet #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #pokemon koraidon #implied child endangerment #<- just in case #paldea #pokemon scavio #yes that is supposed to be babyarven in the bed yes i purposely did not draw him #and yes if i did continue this koraidon would eat the baby #there is one tiny reference to the good old “unnamed father” #asdfghjk thank you for that one bulbapedia #cant help to ship the professors 'kay? #also imagine pokemon making a story where a pokemon kills a child #the professors trying to change the past to bring their baby back and accidentally disappearing the other #and then dying to bring their family together proper #mmmmmm #katzenkarussel draws #katzen rambles in the tags once again haha #i got so many ideas yall #and so little time #angst #<- ?? #not sure but just in case

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

the no spoiler rule in later ace attorney games is stupid because it never followed up on the gavin brothers, thalassa gramarye, locked beloved characters in the basement never to be seen again, etc etc etc but the missed potential that i havent been able to stop thinking about is that the phantom should have been callisto yew from investigations.

like. an assassin/spy from a foreign government? murdering the parent of a weird little girl and then framing said weird little girl for murder seven years later? who is a genius at disguising themselves as other people and worming their way into investigations?

like just change some stuff about the psychology profile of the phantom. like instead of having no readable emotion they force themselves to experience extreme emotions when putting on a front. like giggling uncontrollably. the way callisto yew does. idk it's not a very hard fix the opportunity was RIGHT there but they couldn't do that because theyre not allowed to acknowledge the investigations games existed ever.

#shut up pandora #ace attorney #ace attorney investigations #aai #callisto yew #dual destinies #the phantom #maybe that specific change is awkward but either way callisto yew could and SHOULD have been the phantom with very minor changes #ppl have escaped from jail before in ace attorney so why cant she #dual destinies was even directed by the same guy as the investigations games #if you wanna see what that guy can do when hes allowed to reference previous games look at aai2 objectively the best game in the franchise #but nope hes not allowed to acknowledge any of the past characters #like callisto yew im just more sad about the missed potential than anything #but goddamn fucking hell can you please have klavier do more things than just flirting with apollo in the next time #and please for the love of god i want to see franziska again

[haunted-xander]

This started as just a redraw of an old Chiluc comic except I got carried away so. here ya go!

#chiluc is so so so complicated to me #diluc hates the fatui and everything they do and stand for but when met with someone who does everything for those he cares about hed cave #and childe knows what hes doing is fucked up but doesnt care enough to change paths and he doesnt get how diluc can look past that #bc diluc is angry and justifyably vengeful yet he treats childe like hes normal #despite bring well aware of what childe does and his stance on it #and it confuses him so much it makes him uncomfortable #bc diluc has rigid morals that he wont budge on yet can still look childe in the eyes without wanting to kill him #its a big ol 'wtf why do u like me stop that. thats weird. im weird and bad and fucked up u cant like that.' #and 'why do i like this guy hes everything ive dedicated myself to eradicating yet i cant bring myself to do so without express reasoning' #its a MESS #childe #tartaglia #ajax #diluc ragnvindr #chiluc #genshin impact #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[gatorasmus]

I love them so much!, even tough I stopped watching the show a long time ago, and I don't read as many fics of them anymore they have a special place in my stupid little heart and will always come back to them, they have become my comfort ship and are so fun to draw jeje~

#mcdanno #things i draw #happy bithday to me! :D #danny williams #steve mcgarrett #idiots in love #h50 #cant belive i'm 33 now #didn't thought i was gonna get this far #wasnt expecting to get past 17 #but life change i guess #anyway here we are :3 #hands are still hard to draw...but kinda fun too

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hm. you know... since i no longer hate my art... i Could transfer this blog to my main. i could shimmy right over there! it would make many things easier!

#i would have to approach the url change Delicately... #if i do this! i wouldn't delete this side blog but. #it no longer feels like a side blog! Art no longer feels like a side blog! i no longer feel like one!!! #it wouldn't be a big change #i'd sidestep over and simply say here 'hi! i moved Over There! its exactly the same except its Over There!' #and i would no longer have 6 blog tabs to wrangle... #absolutely unprompted #i might!! i might. #i have tomorrow off so perhaps... i will run it past some Trusted Individuals to get some input on the matter.... #im tired of worrying 'do they know its me??? do they think im just some rando??? Well Fuck.' #and then i cant be like 'haha its actually me carrioncarnival' bc thats. Weird i feel #fuck. carnivalcarrion. AGH. ITS MEANT TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND ILL DIE MAD ABOUT THIS #wait perhaps. Perhaps. #hm.... we'll see!

[wastelandhell]

Finally have enough texturing done on him I can get back to taking screenshots. Body is BodyTalk, Skin textures are an edit of Vobla's MACABRE, hair is Oni's Vanilla Retexture, and everything else is custom. Outfit is here.

#there are almost no vanilla textures or models left on this man. he is the blorbo of theseus. #his face shape is untouched besides putting a bit more fat on his neck. the only thing i changed is the overlays #body shape however is totally new. sorry vanilla purists i am down with the thickness #the eyes/eyelashes are all new meshes/textures as are the eyebrows and teeth/tongue but you cant really see those #body hair is actually a daz3d asset that I bought. used blender to shrink wrap and bake it onto the bodytalk body #ive painted my own in the past but i like this one much better #my mods #my screenshots #tag danse later