#I can’t write for shit but they have been taking up 99% of my thoughts for the past 2 weeks and

[luzisahomosexual]

The foxes just won another game. Neil waddles over to Andrew to celebrate using his racket cos he’s so exhausted. When he gets there, he smiles at him before falling to the floor. Without a word, Andrew sits down in front of him. They both sit there silently, staring into each others eyes with their foreheads pressed together.

And that’s how the press and fans started speculating about their relationship😋

#I can’t write for shit but they have been taking up 99% of my thoughts for the past 2 weeks and #I keep imagining lil scenarios like this so thought I’d post one if idk #this is probably rlly cringe but wtva💀 #HELP THEY HAVE CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY #I CANT GO 10 MINUTES WITHOUT THINKING OF THEM #AND THE BOOKS IN GENERAL #I GET HYPERFIXATIONS ALL THE TIME BUT THEY ARE RARELY AS INTENSE AS THIS😭 #the last time it was this bad was when young royals s1 first came out and #I felt physically sick if I wasn’t watching the show #like literally #I had a shower and after it I was literally rolling round on the floor cos I felt so sick #love that #yey autism #woop woop #andreil #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil have taken over my life

[eleganzadellarosa]

BOUNCE BACK

pairing: dominic fike x oc

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 2.2K

AN: I wrote this on a whim for my best friend a few months ago to kick start my want to write. Dom is her bae fr so I obviously had to include him lol. Enjoy and thanks for reading <3

The beach was practically empty, a person scattered about here and there but nothing compared to how packed it usually is. That’s all thanks to how late it was becoming, the setting sun being a telltale sign. You didn’t mind the scarcity though, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts. Maybe the beach wasn’t the best or secluded place to be but you needed some fresh air and wanted to be somewhere where you normally felt happy. The sloshing sound of the waves temporarily took your mind off of today’s earlier events.

You found texts in your boyfriend of 5 years’ phone talking to some girl who carried no importance to you which was a good thing in its own way. The texts ranged from normal conversation to “I can’t wait to be inside you tonight”. You’d been together since the start of high school and you truly believed the relationship would last a lifetime. The feelings were apparently not mutual and after scrolling through the thousands of texts, this charade had been going on for years now. The girl in question was his ex who he dated right before getting with you and their relationship was comparable to a light switch, very off and on. Coming to the realization that he used you as a way to get his mind off of her until they were ready to kiss and makeup.

Nothing could have prepared you for today, but you were never one to turn down your gut feelings and they were right 99% of the time. You felt so stupid for trusting him and loving him the way you did but you constantly reminded yourself that none of this way your fault. The orange hue of the setting sun beamed on you, warming your skin and making the tears on your cheeks glisten. You were a mess. This was the third or fourth time you’ve cried within the past hour and your body seemed to have no intentions of stopping anytime soon. When you felt the vibration from the phone in your hand, you so badly wanted to chuck it into the water without checking it first, hoping the waves would take care of the rest.

Wiping your tears on the back of your hands, your sobbing finally came to a halt and you prayed for a bigger gap in between your next crying session. You lean back on your hands and scrunch the sand under your palms, closing your eyes to soak up the sun before it fully set within the next 30 minutes. The water seemed to move rapidly as the waves began to reach the shore and splash against your toes more frequently.

“Hey um, you might want to move a little farther back, the water is getting kinda high.” An extra shadow cast next to you along with the unfamiliar voice that came from behind you. Unfortunately for you, your puffy face and red eyes showed signs that you had been crying your heart out for the past hour no matter how many times your hands tried to rid your face of the evidence. Perhaps you had been staring at the sun for too long but it took a few seconds for your eyes to adjust and focus on the person now standing beside you.

“I- oh shit sorry, are you okay?” the handsome man asks, crouching down to be at eye level. Speaking of eyes, anyone with a pair could tell that this man was absolutely gorgeous. He had the perfect “boy next door” look to him. The look that made you want to be around him all the time, the look that would have every girl in school chasing after him but not because he was a fuckboy.

Everything about him was downright perfect, well at least to your standards. His hair, his face, his body, literally everything and thinking back to the two seconds you heard him speak, that was perfect too. Maybe all the crying made you let your guard down, but his presence felt so welcoming and you fought the weird urge to go up and hug him. You didn’t realize you hadn’t answered his question until he speaks again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I’d prefer if you did, maybe I can make you feel better.” He then sits down next to you and rests his arms on his knees, which created a space for his head to lay as he looked at you. “Umm…earlier today I found out my boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me with his ex. I don’t know if I can even call him my boyfriend because apparently I was just a rebound whenever he needed it and I never caught on.” The end of your sentence gets slightly caught in your throat and you can feel your eyes burning, forcing tears to swell yet again.

“Man…I’m so sorry, that’s so fucked up. Would you feel better if you talked about it? I have time on my hands so I really don’t mind. Shit, you could tell me over and over if that would help.” It wouldn’t hurt to rant right now and him being one of the finest people you’ve ever met was just an added bonus.

The conversations quickly turned from your dumbass ex to getting to know each other. Everything seemed to flow naturally with him, he was such a joy to talk to and you wanted nothing more than for this night to never end. Sadly the sun had already set and it was quite dark out, the moon being the only source of light for you both. The two of you sat in silence for a while longer before you finally decided to check your phone. 9:15 it read. The singular notification being from “person who shall not be named” and you could only imagine what it said, but you wouldn't bother checking now, not if you wanted your mood to be soiled. He was the last thing on your mind and with the way this new guy had two hours feeling like 30 minutes, it was more than you could ask for.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I kept you here for this long. Thank you for listening to me though, I really needed it, I feel so much better.” He smiled when you finished speaking and shook his head as if to say “don’t worry about it”. “You know, if you’re comfortable with it, I can give you my number and you can text me whenever you need someone to listen. I know the feeling, so I really don’t mind and you’re a really great person to talk to”. Just hearing the offer makes your heart beat with excitement. Smiling maybe a little too hard, you hand him your phone so he can save himself as a contact.

“Wait, I never asked you your name. Dang, I’m sorry I was so focused on myself…” thinking about the selfish act had you almost in tears for the umpteenth time tonight until he rubs a comforting hand over your arm. “You really don’t have to worry about that love, I was here to listen. My name is Dominic but really just call me Dom.” The nickname gave you butterflies, more than his existence already did, if that was even possible. Whenever he smiled your eyes landed on the apple tattoo under his right eye. The longer you looked at him, the more things you noticed but nothing came across as a turn off. He stands up after handing back your phone and dusts the sand off his shorts. He reaches out for you to grab his hand to stand from where you sat.

“And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?” Once standing, you mimicked his action of dusting off the sand from your clothing before you answer. “Jenna but really just call me Jenna”. Your response made him chuckle since you copied exactly what he had said to you moments earlier. You notice he still hadn’t let go of your hand and when you look up from where they intertwine, he speaks before you can. “Well Ms. Jenna, allow me to escort you back to your vehicle”. The night was ending all too quickly and your heart already aches with longing. “I kinda don’t wanna go back home yet Mr. Dom.” A small smirk paints his face, so small that you would have missed it if you didn’t look at him in time. “Um well, you can come chill with me if you want. I don’t really have anything to do at my house, but I do have food.” “Food is just fine and I don’t care if you don’t have anything to do, chilling is more than enough. Thank you for the invite.”

More hours are spent with you two learning more about one another and eating whatever random food or snacks he had in his house. You decided after chatting for a while that his laugh was in the top 10 things you liked most about him, it sounded so cheerful and he looked so cute whenever he did it. This was the most fun you’ve had in a long time, even more than you can ever recall having with your ex. “Hey do you want to hear something?” He says almost popping up from his seat on the couch. “What do you mean?” You ask clearly confused by his question. “I uh…like making music and I have something I’ve been working on. Do you wanna hear it?” You can tell he gets a bit shy with the way his ears turn a light shade of pink and he scratches the back of his head. Gosh could this man be anymore interesting? He lead you to a room near the back of his house and the door opened to a large space filled with instruments of all kinds. It looked like every studio you’ve seen in movies or TV.

“You can sit wherever you’d like, lemme just grab my guitar”. You find a place on the small couch nestled in the corner, sitting sideways to get a better look at what he was doing. He sits across from you on the couch holding the large brown guitar. He suddenly looked so serious, the guitar pick loosely hanging from between his lips, brows furrowing as he makes sure the guitar is tuned perfectly. Such a simple action, but you couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked while doing it. “This song is called 3 nights, lemme know what you think okay?” His voice mixed with the melody of the song possessed your body, making it move along to the beat. By the time he finished, the lyrics to the chorus were already stuck in your head on loop.

“No freaking way, that was amazing! You have to let other people hear this!” Your comment made him smile from ear to ear and a blush accented his cheeks. “Yeah? It’s still just a rough draft, but if you like it that much then I’m doing something right.” He sets his guitar down next to the couch and leans his head back against the arm. "You know, this is the first time in a long time where I didn't feel like I needed to smoke to get me through the day and I really appreciate that." He lifts his head and finds you staring at him with a sympathetic look on your face. "Obviously I wouldn't since we just met, but I didn't know you felt that way sometimes. I'm glad I could help you as much as you helped me today." He fully sits up on the couch and leaned over to you, his lips lightly brushing your forehead. The action made your body stiffen and he pulled away when he felt it. "Shit..sorry, I just felt like doing that. Sorry, I know that was so weird." You reached over to cup his cheek in your left hand and moved over to kiss him on the soft skin.

"It wasn't weird and I've been wanting to hug you all day. I could really use one of those right now." He wasted no time in pulling you into a tight but gentle hug and tears began to fall from your eyes. He lightly caresses your back and shushes you, trying to bring you some sort of ease to your pained heart. He plants another soft kiss on your forehead and you look up at him through teary eyes. "If I asked to stay longer, would you let me?" "Hell yeah, I'd let you stay the night if you were okay with that. You can sleep in my room and I can sleep on the couch in the living room." You nod your head and he rubs his thumb on your shoulder.

The night was over but the feeling of sadness never came to you as you expected. In contrast to yesterday, this day would start off a lot better and thankfully you had someone around that actually had the ability to take your mind off everything. Little did you know, this would count as the day you met the person who would later become someone you weren't ashamed to call your boyfriend.

#dominic fike #one shot #elliot euphoria #dominic fike x reader

[ovaryacted]

For that prompt game thingy

99 with leon x slasher reader maybe :0

Hey!! Thank you for requesting! I'm literally so sorry this took me such a long time to write and it turned out much longer than I anticipated. I've never really done anything dark-ish or with suspense, so I wanted to take a shot at it and see what my brain came up with but of course, it took me a while lol. I think for this one probably RE2R Leon, just him as a regular cop, and he lives in a city so dealer’s choice. Anyways, hopefully, this is interesting cause I’m a little nervous lolz. :) [ prompt game ]

99. “We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.” RE2R Leon x reader [cw: slightly dark themes, mentions of body parts & violence] - 1.5k words

It hasn't been long since Leon started his new job as a rookie cop, excited was an understatement. Yet it seemed as if the universe had given him the worst possible combination of a new role and what seemed to be someone on a killing spree.

The first case happened a few weeks ago, a young male was reported to be slashed over his torso. It was one knife wound to the upper chest, clean and efficient, followed by another to the lung and one more up the stomach. Leon was on the scene, answering the call of a distressed citizen when they found the body in an alleyway, and the sight was enough to make him nauseous. It was seen as a premeditated murder case, but there were no traces of the perpetrator left behind. No fingerprints, no lost weapons, nothing.

Like a ghost in the wind, it was a dead end.

The more experienced agents took over the investigation, and Leon was back to being a cop. He thought it was over, that he’d be able to go back on patrol duty and ride along in his car.

But that wasn’t the end of it.

The murders became more frequent, almost for show, and the way the deaths were done became more theatric as time passed. Week after week, more people began to disappear from the city, mostly male victims each torn apart in exuberant ways. A gash up the spine, a straight slash across the neck, another had an arm and leg detached from the person's torso. But the main wound on the chest of each victim was the only controlled variable between all of them.

Either way, it seemed like someone was enjoying their time passionately tearing other people apart.

“I just can’t wrap my head around it”, Leon mumbled to himself as you washed up the dishes in the kitchen after dinner. He had been out working on these cases tirelessly, constantly on patrol, and barely been home with you as a result of everything piling up.

“Who just goes around and starts randomly killing people? I mean, this feels like some shit out of a horror movie”, he continued to speak, raising his head to look at the back of your head.

“Some people are just crazy like that. You know how people get inspiration from those crazed fanatics on those cult forums”, you commented, finishing washing the cooking pot you had in the sink and putting it on the drying rack.

“If it was one thing I wasn’t expecting, was to deal with a mass murderer the first few weeks of my damn job”, he ran a hand through his hair, exhaling as the stress was starting to take its toll.

“Just your luck huh?”, you said with a teasing smirk, wiping the knife you were cleaning with a soapy sponge.

You were almost methodical with the way you handled the blade, watching the suds sliding off of it as you rinsed it, careful not to cut yourself. You dried it with one of the dishtowels you threw to the side, the metal gleaming under the kitchen light. Giving it one last good wipe you put it back in the wooden block along with the rest of your knife collection.

“Maybe what you need is a vacation. Away from this mess. You have some PTO you could take right?”, you asked as you walked towards him, sitting on his lap while he remained seated on the dining room chair. He pondered for a bit, watching how you flicked the ends of his hair and curled it around your finger.

“I mean I do but…the chief might not like it if I left so abruptly. Don’t want to make the wrong impression”, he contemplated it, trying to fight you on your words but it was something on his mind.

“You need a break Leon, from all of this. Say it’s a family emergency or something. I hate seeing you so stressed like this baby”, you pouted at him, lips puckering out as you kissed him on the tip of the nose. “Just a few days, that’s all I’m asking”

He caressed your lower back affectionately as you sat on his lap, feeling your hands squeezing his shoulders and rubbing his chest. The nagging voice in his head kept thinking about your proposition, the image of being away with you and just enjoying his time sounded beyond appealing. It wouldn’t be so bad right? He glanced at you and gave you a small smile.

“A break doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll see if I can snag a couple of days off okay?”, Leon said to you, and you cheered happily at him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“We'll go take a little vacation. Just you and me”, your eyes held that promise of excitement as they bore into Leon’s, content that he was at least going to try for your sake.

You were patient as you waited for any sign of Leon possibly getting time off, thinking that you wouldn’t have any luck with the way things were. But the moment you were granted a win once he spoke to the chief, you nearly jumped on top of him from joy. It didn’t take long before you both packed your bags and drove off into the mountains, renting a cabin that would be good for a weekend of leisure. The both of you were excited to finally get away from all the chaos in the city and to just spend some quality time together.

But what you envisioned when it came to a vacation was completely different from what Leon had in mind.

He didn’t recall how it happened. One minute you two were having dinner, eating some steak and potatoes paired with some red wine. The next, his head felt dizzy as he struggled to keep himself upright, calling out your name before his vision faded to black.

Now he found himself with his arms and ankles tied together by some rope, slouched on the floor and disheveled. He didn’t know how he managed to get into this precarious situation, but it was all giving him whiplash. The wood paneling of the walls was different, it was dim and quiet in the cabin and his surroundings were unusual.

Was he back at the cabin? Was he still in the same place with you? Where were you?

His mind was going a mile a minute and his nerves were on high, the skills he’s developed from being a cop going into overdrive to come up with a solution. Leon started looking around, scrabbling to find anything to help him free his hands so he could look for you.

But that’s when he heard it, when your bubbly laughter filtered through the crisp air surrounding him. His ears perked up the sound, perceptive blue eyes observing you diligently as you came into view. There was a dark and twisted grin on your face, something he’s never seen before.

“What the hell is going on?”, he was confused, couldn’t make sense of the current circumstances. But all he wondered was why you looked at him as if he were a meal. Some plaything for your enjoyment.

“Well, I needed to get you out of here. I couldn’t keep having you on my trail sweetheart. That’s when the fun ends”, in your hand was the familiar kitchen blade, shiny and sharpened, gleaming despite the darkness of the room you were both in. It took a second before the realization hit him, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as a wave of overlapping emotions washed over him.

“It was you?”, his eyes widened as he watched you, finally connecting the dots. The slasher he’d been looking for was right under his nose the entire time, so deeply hidden he didn’t even think it was possible. He was sleeping with the devil, and it made his stomach churn.

“Why? Why did you do it?!”, it felt like his entire world was falling apart, his sense of normalcy that he had worked so hard to achieve was gone in the blink of an eye. And he couldn’t do anything to save it.

“Had some things to take care of, needed to get my stress out somehow. Sorry if I have hobbies”, this was all a joke to you, if anything it was entertaining to see Leon suffer.

“It doesn’t have to be like this. Nothing bad has to happen here”, he felt pathetic as he begged, looking at you in hopes of finding any trace of morality left.

All you could do was laugh at him, loud and shameless. You took a step closer, crouching down to his level as you grazed the tip of the knife from his throat up towards his chin. Your gaze darkened and your smile curled, sending a chill down Leon’s spine.

“We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.”

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

#ovaryacted asks #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #resident evil fanfic #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #ovaryacted drabbles #⋆♱ nic works ♱⋆ #literally why is this so long lmfao?? #like okay bro PLEASE

[frownyalfred]

*busts down your doors* HEY! Long ask for ya

okay so I was rereading your fic where EMS showed up because Dick couldn’t flip on the trampoline (rip) and it got me thinking about routine trauma.

So here’s the thing: I am not EMS. I know three people who are EMS, but my extent of EMS experience comes from one (1) ride along and lurking on EMS subreddits. Those guys are a hoot. Great memes. Anyways.

A comment stuck out to me: “You haven’t truly lived the job until you’re eating a gas station burrito next to a dead body”. I’ve seen a bunch like that. Nonchalance and dark humor because well, that’s their job. Gore is the norm. Sure, depending on the area, your usual calls might just be lift assists, but other areas are neck deep in gang violence and violent crime.

A pretty common post on that subreddit is also, sadly, “I just got a call that’s never bothered me before but all of a sudden I’m broken” or “I’ve never had a problem running this type of call before but all of a sudden it just hit me.” Delayed trauma is a bitch. Someone pointed out that if a civilian saw a fatal car accident with multiple corpses, they’d be in therapy and given support and it’d be a huge deal. With EMS, they’re just expected to deal with it. (EMS mental health is getting better- there are helplines and resources and first responder focused therapies- but it’s still a developing field)

ANYWAYS, now that I’ve given you a crash course on the EMS mental health crisis (someone should really write a feature on EMS in Gotham those fuckers would be crazy and I love them already), my point is, how would this apply to the bats? Seeing bodies is treated as very much the norm to them, but do you think it ever just… catches up? The impact of seeing corpses day after day? Do you think they have to fake being fine and tough during those times because well, “everybody else in the family is fine with it, I’m not going to be a liability/burden/weak/etc”

Do you think Bruce, the goddamn batman, who shouldn’t be ruffled by anything, ever just feels something crack inside when he looks at a little boy who could have grown up healthy and strong like his Jason, had (Bruce) someone been there for him? and then he can’t work cases with kids for a week?

This is such an excellent ask, thank you so much for gracing my inbox with it!

It's a very good question. I'm also on a lot of those subreddits (needed to do some research for that fic) and the discussion in those forums and on TikTok is like you described, a kind of practiced desensitization to all gore and suffering in order to survive in their job.

What I've seen from those discussions (and my EMT friend) is an almost sub-conscious trend where they allow themselves the "thing" that breaks them, and they push a lot of that trauma and emotion onto that thing. Like an EMT saying they don't do kids, or they don't do gunshots to the eye, etc. And they'll sob like a baby on those calls, while remaining stone-faced and level-headed through the triple homicide.

I'm just theorizing here, but I imagine the Batfamily uses similar coping skills -- pushing all that trauma and suffering into a box which cracks only under limited, defined circumstances. And they break or snap only under those conditions, because, subconsciously, they allowed themselves to.

So yes, Bruce might be 99% fine with most of the bodies he sees, but there might be a little boy who has a detail (like Jason's dark hair) that just slams into him out of nowhere.

PTSD and trauma literally change the structure of the brain. Individuals react differently to trauma after that, but there does appear to be a "desensitizing" effect with repeated trauma, as the body tries to compensate.

I agree that the Gotham EMTs must be some crazy motherfuckers. They probably deal with 6x the normal shit EMTs deal with in other cities. They probably take on a lot more trauma and burn out quicker than other EMTs, too.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? I admit I don't cover PTSD explicitly in a lot of my fics.

#ptsd #trauma tw #ptsd tw #death tw #bruce wayne #dc #batman #myfic #theresurrectionist #batfamily #batfamily meta #bruce wayne meta #batman meta #asks

[xoxo-author]

Squish

I’m back with a new dumpster fire! While Rooster owns my heart, I can’t help but think that I would let Hangman ruin my day and possibly me. 

Pairing: Hangman x Reader (F)

Warning: My writing, probs a lot of misspelling, out of character Hangman, mentions of drinking. 

Please don’t copy my writing :)

I hope everyone is safe this weekend!

I couldn't blame them for staring, I really couldn't. I truly looked like a hot mess and not the kind of hot mess that is portrayed in movies.

My hair which was supposed to be a messy bun now resembles something similar to a bird's nest.  My shirt, which in reality wasn't even mine, was about three sizes too big which resulted in it looking like I had no pants on. My feet were clad in miss matching socks, one had cactus while the other had Christmas weiner dogs, which wasn't unusual for me but usually, I have tennis shoes on but my feet were shoved into some Nike slides that were about 100 sizes too big for me.

The Hard Deck was absolutely jam-packed and full of people. There wasn't an empty inch in this bar it was so packed, so crammed with people. Everywhere you looked you either saw pilot suits or college guys repping their frat house.

Pushing up onto my toes, I try to find the reason that I was forced to crawl out of bed at almost 1 in the morning. I couldn't see shit due to the number of people so with a heavy sigh I drop down to my feet and being to make my way through the sea of people.

After seemingly going from one side to the other, I finally manage to push my way to the back of the bar.

My eyes immediately landed on a slumped-over Jake who was struggling to keep his head up. I look around and notice that Jake wasn't the only one who seemed to be struggling. There were multiple people who were taking over any available space. One with a Hawaiian shirt was laying down on a piano bench. A blonde-haired man was knocked out on the pool table. A dark-haired man with a killer mustache was standing up against a railing with his head resting on his hand while that hand rested on the tip of a pool stick.

"Hey Squish"

A smile makes its way onto my face as I walk over to Jake, letting him pull me into the space between his legs. Jake wraps his arms around me tightly and rests his forehead against my stomach. I bring my hands to his back, letting my nails scratch up and down the expanse of his back, "Hi, Jakey."

"So you're Squish?"

I turn my head, my gaze landing on a girl with dark hair, and let out a little laugh, "That would be me."

"I'm Phoenix, I'm the one who gave you a call."

I move my hands to his head, gently scratching my fingers against his scalp, "What happened?"

Phoenix lets out a laugh, "We were playing pool and everything was fine until this group of guys came over and boosted about how their frat was the college pool champs and blah blah blah. Well one thing led to another and it turned into a battle of egos, the loser bought drinks. Game after game, the college lost and kept buying stronger and stronger drinks hoping they'd get these guys drunk enough so they could win."

"Did they?"

She shakes her head, "Those guys never stood a chance, even as drunk as these guys are they still whooped those college guys' asses."

I laugh, "Men and their egos."

"So how come he's never brought you around?"

I glance down at Jake, focusing on the feel of his hair through my fingers. We were best friends, and have been for the past couple of years. We've always been closer than normal best friends, acting more like a couple than friends. We haven't crossed that line of being more than friends but I have definitely thought about it and I'm 99 percent sure that he has as well.

"We're a bit complicated."

Before she could say anything else, Jake lets out a groan, his hands moving to squeeze my hips, his forehead coming off my stomach so he could look at me, "Squish, I'm not doing so hot."

I nod, glancing over to Phoenix, "I think that's our cue. Phoenix thank you again for calling me and watching him for me."

She nods, "I hope you come out with us next time."

I smile at her before turning all my attention Jake. I move my hands so they were gripping his arms as he starts to stand. One of his hands holds his head, eyes squeezing shut, while his other arm wraps around my shoulders. I place a hand on his chest to make sure he's up right before securing my arm around his waist.

We slowly begin to make our way to the door. I could tell he was trying to keep most of his weight on his side but he was still heavy as I tried to help him through the crowd.

By some miracle, we made it outside. "Jake where's your car?"

Jake mumbles something inaudible before using the hand that was holding his head to point somewhere to the right. I squint as I looked through the cars before landing on his truck. We slowly start to make our way towards the truck, trying our best to avoid holes that would send us both flying to the ground.

I prop Jake up against the truck before reaching into his pockets to find his keys.

"Baby, if you wanted to feel me up all you had to do was ask."

I spare a quick glance up at him, taking notice of the drunken smirk that was plastered on his face. I pull the keys out and press the unlock button before opening the door for him. I nod my head towards the cabin, "Hop in."

Once  I made sure he was secure, I close the door and quickly make my way to the driver's side. I jam the key into the ignition before reaching down to grab the button that moves the seat up. The seat is slow to move which causes Jake to laugh, "You've got such short legs baby." I wave him off as I start to pull out of the parking lot.

                                                                        ***

I toss his keys into the bowl by the front door before making sure the door was locked before we made our way to the stairs. I watch from the other side of Jake as he tightly wrapped his hand around the banister, an image of him wrapping his hand around my throat flashing through my mind. I quickly shake the thought away before making sure I had a hold of him as we began our ascent up the stairs.

We slowly made our way to the top of the stairs and into my bedroom, heading towards the bathroom where I help him sit on the toilet. Once I made sure he wasn't going to fall off, I turn to my right and reach across the counter to grab his toothbrush. I push toothpaste onto it before turning back to face him, "Open."

Jake's teeth were probably in the top five of his favorite things about himself. He told me that if it wasn't his hair, muscles, or good looks that pulled the ladies in then it was his teeth. Jake literally made me promise that if he was ever too drunk or incapable of brushing his teeth then I had to do it for him. He couldn't afford to miss brushing his teeth.

It was no lie that Jake was adorable when he was drunk. He always had a little smile on his face, he was touchier than usual, and his eyes were usually half-lidded. His hair would always be a mess because he was constantly running his fingers through it. Him being drunk was a rare sight, he usually could drink anyone under the table.

I rinse off his toothbrush before telling him to stand so he could rinse his mouth out.

I begin to push his shirt up, standing on my tip toes to get up his arms before having him pull it the rest of the way, letting it fall to the floor. I glance at his pants before looking up at him, "Think you can manage those all by yourself?"

He smirks, about to let out a comment before noticing my look. He brings his fingers to the tops of his pants while I head out to grab him some water and Advil from downstairs.

When I returned he was already on his side of the bed, eyes closed and mouth parted,  he had pulled my side of the covers back for me.

I place the water and pills on the bedside table before reaching under the light and turning the nob, letting the darkness consume the room.

I gently climb over him and once I was settled into my spot, I bring my hand up and let my nails scratch his bare back before letting my eyes close.

#TopGun #Top Gun #Glen Powell #Hangman #Topgunmaverick #Top Gun Maverick #HangmanxReader #Hangman x Reader #Hangman Fic #Top Gun FIc #Hangman Imagine #Jake seresin #Jake Seresin x Reader #Jake Seresin x Y/N #Hangman x Y/N #Jakeseresin #Jake Seresin FIc #Jake Seresin Imagine

[daeyeol4you]

The Chay Rewatch Ep 9

Ep 1 & 2, Ep 3, Ep 4, Ep 5, Ep 6, Ep 7, Ep 8

Ep 9 - Kim is so whipped while somehow still being emotionally constipated

Time: 10:22 – 12:11 – songwriting boy

Kim’s Outfit: An olive-green jacket, a white shirt, and the return of the white pants

Why does no guitar in this show have a guitar strap?

Chay’s song breaks Kim’s writing block, Kim’s written tons of music before, but now Chay is becoming his muse, taking over the one outlet Kim allows himself

The emotional shutdown Kim forces himself through once he realizes how happy even the memory of Chay is making him. He can’t allow himself to be weak because any attachment to Chay is a weakness, but even that fails because immediately he’s back to smiling while he plays

Kim is so inspired to write even while he’s very clearing trying to cut Chay out of his brain, he’s trying to write his feelings out so he can go back to being cold, untouchable Kim

Korn really did screw up all of his sons emotionally – commitment issues to spare

Time: 29:46 – Macau Spotting

Macau scaring the absolute shit out of Pete, what a little shit

Macau’s Outfit: Another sweater vest with orange and blue stripes with tan pants and white shoes

Macau and Vegas definitely planned this, and Macau is so happy to be causing mischief

Wingman Macau you will always be famous

Macau going on and on about the sermon to tease Pete only to fall asleep immediately, what a mood

Time: 39:24 – 40:03 – the guitar pick!

Not me immediately trying to analyze all of the details of Chay’s room

There’s a bottle of milk on his desk – again I’m sorry I laughed this is a funny bit

The towers of CDs behind Chay speak to how Chay isn’t just into music because its fun, he’s put a lot of effort into appreciating music

The ukelele is cute

He has a jar of I think paper stars on his back shelf – I only mention this because there are a number of different meanings to lucky paper stars but the one I know best is that if you fold either 1,000 or 2,000 (depending on the tale) you can get a wish (you also can give the stars to someone you love) I also know some do it for luck – which Chay has interesting thoughts about luck as we know

Chay creating the guitar pick with his own two hands – my art kid Chay agenda is so real

Chay’s outfit: I’m 99% sure that Chay is wearing a Geto (from Jujutsu Kaisen) shirt. Chay anime fan confirmed

Geto is an antagonist from Jujutsu Kaisen, and I view him as a tragic figure who was once good but due to the evils of his job and the abuse he saw, turned evil. Later on, his body becomes a vessel for further evil

Chay’s friend is named Ohm! I so forgot about this bit I won’t lie

Chay really had been hoping it was Kim. He may have left the next step up to Kim, but he’s still so hopeful that Kim doesn’t leave him behind. He’s for sure getting impatient about it and is planning his next move on his target – sorry crush!

Chay ignoring Ohm draws up a lot of my ideas about how private Chay is about everything. He allows others to see just the surface of everything going on with him, but he tends to be very private about his thoughts and interests. Its not a lack of confidence. I just think he learned early on that sometimes speaking up about everything can be a burden (particularly in his relationship with Porsche) you have to work to get his more internal thoughts

And Chay chooses this! At any point he could put down the guitar pick and answer his friend’s invite, who probably knows something is up with Chay just not what. He’s very tunnel-visioned when he chooses a path, but he doesn’t feel the need to tell anyone else that

Chay doesn’t hide or lie about his emotions and thoughts usually. He just doesn’t always say them out loud. There’s a difference trust me

Time: 49:48 – 53:04 – Chay’s version of gift giving

Chay’s Outfit: a grey crewneck with white and blue paint splatters over a black shirt with the same pendant from the song scene

Kim’s outfit: a studded black leather jacket paired with a white shirt and blue jeans. His necklace this time is a blend of two different chain types (partly made of safety pins I think?) with his regular silver earrings and rings

Chay breaking into the rehearsal space – child I was just praising you for leaving the ball in Kim’s court, please stop waving red flags! You are such a concerning young man

Chay is so cute no wonder Kim is okay with the stalking, also who is this friend Chay keeps getting this info from (please just be stan twitter please that’d be so funny)

I love how this scene gets presented from behind the glass of the recording booth, the slow zoom-in on the two as the scene progresses

Kim’s calm responses to this are so dynamic when placed next to Chay’s which are full of excitement and nerves

Gosh the zoom-in when Chay presents the box – beautiful

“This is limited edition. You’ve got the only one piece in the world.” – how long do you think its been since Kim received a genuine, heartfelt gift like this?

Compare this gift to Kim and the guitar. Kim bought an incredibly expensive guitar for Chay, but it was to buy his way into the house. There was more manipulation than thought put into that gift

Whereas Chay made that pick himself adding even greater meaning to the gift. Chay isn’t trying to manipulate Kim, he’s genuinely just staying true to himself by confessing and giving Kim the pick as thanks. Chay’s always been upfront about his emotions and intentions with Kim which is very refreshing

of course Chay passed - he's very talented

“From now on I won’t have any excuse to see your face.” “Can I bother you one last time?” – that’s such a cute statement, plus it also goes to show that Chay gets that Kim is trying to cut him off and will accept it after he says his piece (Chay respects boundaries! I am ignoring his stalking for right now!)

I love Chay’s fidgeting here, very genuine and doesn’t feel forced

KIM’S FACE WHEN CHAY SAYS HE LIKES HIM! He knew but was not prepared for Chay to actually say it

Chay’s rambling about making an oath with himself – he is so good! He is so emotionally healthy & confident! (I am ignoring the red flags about his stalking right now!)

I know some people were disappointed about never getting a ‘real’ kiss, but I like this cheek kiss. Chay’s still young compared to Kim, and Kim holds a lot of power as his tutor as well as how many secrets he’s keeping from Chay. A kiss on the lips would have been marred by that and would have been uncomfortable when looked back on. This kiss works for them, it's sweet and it’s a foundation for the two of them to build on

During this scene, there’s this large empty space between Kim and Chay. Chay stays respectfully away until Kim breaks the divide and kisses him. It was always going to be up to Kim to choose what to do next

THE MUSIC!! THE HUGS!! – Kim is so not a hugger, but for Chay he lets it happen, twice! This is the same man we see bullying bodyguards and murdering people! The duality of man indeed

Shoutout to Tankhun for his open and honest defense of Porsche – truly a man who knows that open communication is necessary (unlike his brothers)

Overall Chay Rating (Chrating) – A

This ep definitely goes everywhere, but we get a good amount of KimChay development as well as a Macau appearance. I’m glad we got solo scenes from Kim & Chay before they saw each other as it laid the groundwork for the confession scene, very well plotted. Chay being so truthful to himself as well as Kim’s emotional breakthrough was very refreshing

#kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #porchay kittisawat #porchay pichaya kittisawat #kim theerapanyakul #kimchay

[spoopy-fish-writes]

| I refuse to accept I’m in love

Suitor(s): Clavis and Rio (platonic), unspecified Rhodolite prince

TW: A little ooc tbh (it’s been a while), Clavis is a little shit

Genre: Platonic fic, crack-ish?

Notes: Gender neutral MC || Woah, Spoops still writes? Crazy || You’ve known both Clavis and Rio for years in this + lived in Obsidian. Don’t mind the details, this was supposed to be a series and then I forgot where I was going with it || Everyone is bit occ here, no I can’t fix it, and neither do I want to, this idea has been floating around my head for too long for me to care, I’ll be back to regular in character stuff later || Traps at the bottom autocorrected to naturals and for a second it said that Clavis’ naturals were connected to bells and I almost collapsed laughing

You flopped, face first onto Clavis’ bed (which he only had after you had flopped face first into his couch and bruised your nose), the man in question following after you with an amused smirk adorning his lips that you buried your head deeper into your (they may as well have been yours) pillows to ignore. Rio enters soon after, shutting the door behind the three of you.

“There’s no way my taste is this bad,” you groaned into painfully unused and beautifully soft pillows, the words muffled, and Clavis - the cruel, cruel man that he was finding your pain to be the most amusing thing he had seen all week - laughed.

You lifted your head up to glare at the man before you redirected your gaze to a book on the side table with a huff.

Rio - the dear angel that he was, your only solace and soothing balm to any of your ills - patted you on the shoulder comfortingly and you felt the bed dip as he sat beside you. “Your taste isn’t bad. Just- in need of improvement.”

You couldn’t be mad at him when he was trying (and failing) to make you feel better (even though he thought you had terrible taste and made that clear on several occasions), so you just stared harder at the stack of books on the side desk.

Attempting to distract yourself from the way that the third prince was eyeing you so knowingly, you picked up one of the books discarded on it and ended up sighing in annoyance at the rose on the front cover.

“Sariel’s said that even without clause 99, getting involved with a prince is a terrible idea. Living with you eight is pushing it already-“ you gave Clavis a scathing look that only made his smile stretch wider. “-there’s absolutely no need for to test how far my tolerance goes.”

He hummed thoughtfully, and leaned over to look at the book in your hands. “Tolerance. Right. Because that explains why dear, sweet Belle is looking at a rose and subsequent gesture of romantic intent so longingly.”

“I’m not looking longingly,” you had a half hearted attempt to swat at Clavis with the book in question and Rio swatted him with his hand when you failed to catch him with the book. “It’s not my fault a rose is my timer and I now have very strong feelings about the plant.”

Feelings so strong that a book was decidedly capable to invoke them.

You feel a little bad for taking it out on the book but you needed something. The book is beautifully designed. The cover is a dark red-ish fuchsia and rose a few shades lighter, subtle. The main detail comes from embroidery done in cold thread around the edges of the petals, changing in thickness in some places to add more definition, while a gold border lies about 2cm inside the actual edge of the cover. You’ve seen this book in the library in town before, fairly recently, but until now, you hadn’t had the chance to buy it (not that you want to anymore with the flower reminding you of too many thing that you don’t want to be reminded of).

Clavis sat down at the edge of the bed with a faux-exhausted sigh, swiping the book from your hands and draping himself dramatically while leaning back on one arm while the other held the book. “And those very strong feelings surely have nothing to do with my dear brother.”

“They don’t!”

You throw him one last glare, not honestly angry, and something in his expression shifts. You look away before you can catch what it is, resolutely re-burying your face into his pile of pillows, the room going silent. Rio sighed, withdrawing his hand from your back.

It’s not uncomfortable in the silence - it’s difficult to be uncomfortable with Clavis and Rio when you were familiar with the former from when you used to live in Obsidian and didn’t even know him to be a prince at the time, and have known the latter for just as long - but it’s weighed down by several things gone unsaid. Rio is the worst of the three of you at pretending that he has nothing to say, the dull rap of his fingers against the bed - unnoticeable if not for the complete silence - giving him away.

He’s also the first to give in to the urge to speak, as much as he’s usually the one to keep quite for your own comfort. “I think you’d be better of speaking to him and finding out if knowing you have feelings for him would make him somehow worse, and then me and Clavis can deal with him.”

You wished for a second that your eyes were open so that you could roll them at the entirely indiscreet threat aimed at the object of your conversation.

“Terrible idea.”

Mercifully, Rio doesn’t push and the room is quiet for a moment more.

There’s the sound of shifting fabric and you peek to see Clavis laying down next to you on his back, looking up at the ceiling. His smile is gone, expression indicating the genuine consideration of something, though his lips naturally quirk up at the corners so it still looks like he’s smirking from where you’re looking up at him.

“… What?”

“I haven’t said anything,” Clavis peers at you from the corner of his eye, gold filled with mischief that you’re too familiar with and should now better by now than to ask about, and his smile (smirk) is back.

“Your silence speaks volumes.”

His body shakes with his laughter and you can see each jerky move of his chest. “Look at you, reading me like a book all of a sudden.”

“Funny,” You turn and sit up right, expression still set in an unneeded scowl. “What is it?”

A gloves hand comes to his chin in an over exaggerated thinking pose and he sits there for an unnecessarily long amount of time.

“Oh, come on. Spit it out-” Rio starts.

You don’t know what you expect Clavis to say until you hear a little bell go off in his room, and the prince sits up eagerly.

“Ah- would you look at that! A someone’s fallen into my net!”

“You’ve connected your traps to bells-?” You start to ask but Clavis stands up and you realise that he’s about to leave before the three of you can finish your conversation.

Both yourself and Rio jolt and your hands shoot out to grab Clavis before he can escape through the door. You miss and it’s Rio that catches the fabric of his sleeve, just barely. It’s not enough and the prince dances around your attempts to catch him with an all too pleased laugh. “Sincerest apologies, but I have pressing matters to attend to involving a certain brother of mine!”

Now, you panic, but the door slams shut and you hear the click of the key and both you and Rio stare with varying degrees of horror at the door.

Rio pulls a pin of sorts from his pocket, kneels next to the door, and looks at you, expression serious. “Give me no more than a minute.”

Do not repost, edit or claim. Only reblog 💜

#ikepri #ikemen prince #ikepri clavis #ikepri rio #rio ortiz #clavis lelouch #platonic fic #ikepri fanfic #ikepri fanfiction #ikemen prince fanfic #ikemen prince fanfiction #ikemen clavis #ikemen rio #ikepri x reader #ikemen prince x reader

[disasterbijamietartt]

Since I’m on a roll, here a few random Roy x Jamie (x Keeley, and a bit Colin) scenes I’d love to see on the show but that with 99% certainty won’t happen lol.

If you write fanfic, feel free to take my ideas, since I won’t write them.

#1: During a break in their morning training, Jamie vents about how Dani is worshipping Zava and says something along the lines of “This is pissing me off so much. Like, I had the biggest crush on you but I never kissed the ground you walked on! Except for that one time when I was twelve, and helped out as a ball boy when Chelsea was playing Man City and …”

Roy, taking some time to process. “Wait? The Fuck? You had a crush on me?”

And Jamie answers quite chill. “Are you going senil? I told you I had a poster of you on my wall as a kid.”

*gay panic sets in* *throws something into Jamie’s face*

“What the fuck, what is wrong with you?”

Roy fumbles. “Sorry, I just … don’t know why … I think I got startled?”

“YOU got startled? Ask me about it.” Shakes head. “You know, you really should figure out the why since … I’m not scared of you or anything. I know you would never actually … kill me. But it just is … triggering when you do stuff like that.”

The horrific realisation setting in. “Oh … OH.”

“You should try therapy. It helped me a lot being more … comfortable being me. And not … the boy me dad wanted.”

#2: This won’t happen but what if Roy is like “you need to do something for your core” and drags him to his yoga group and realises his mistake too late, when he scrambles to explain why he knows Jamie (”We, er, go to the same gym. And I thought you’d maybe want to meet him.”).

Then one of the ladies tells Jamie, how much Roy loved him in “Lust conquers all” and the camera is on Jamie’s face while he is trying not to burst into laughter, but then another one asks him why he went on the show and he gets all somber talking about his dad (something about his live being absolut shit – “The whole year had been shit. My girlfriend dumped me, my coach dumped me and all I had in ManCity was my piece of shit dad. I was at my lowest lows, in a very dark place mental health wise and just needed to get out”) – Roy being touched by Jamie’s openness and vulnerability – and then the ladies decide to go to the G-A-Y to cheer him up and while they are being there Jamie heads to the bathroom and sees Colin and Michael. But he doesn’t approach them, so that it doesn’t get awkward for Colin, does never mention this to Roy or anyone, until after Colin’s coming out, when he tells him how proud he is and accidentally slips. Something like “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Michael and you. You were cute together.”

“But you never met him.”

And he has to come up with some explanation (he can’t say he was there with Roy’s yoga besties, since the yoga besties are Roy’s big secret)

And when Colin wonders why he kept it a secret: “You never told me so I thought it was better to give you the time you needed, instead of forcing you.”

#3

I have a need for a Karaoke scene where someone, Jamie would be awesome – everyone expects him to be shit but he slays it –, sings “Into The Unknown” as a call back to the first season having Rebecca sing “Let it go”. (Or “Show Yourself”, which is more of a queer coming out anthem, but probably not the kind of song Jamie would chose to sing at Karaoke)

And it would also fit in a way, since Jamie kind of is a foil to Rebecca. Like they were both residential assholes in the first season because of the abuse they suffered and both made a heel-face-turn due Ted’s and Keeley’s influence.

#4

Okay, so onto one of my Roy x Jamie x Keeley scenarios!

Like many suggested, Jamie tries to help fixing Roy’s and Keeley’s relationship.

After Roy not wanting his comfort, he checks in on Keeley and offers his help. Like the good friend he is, he wants to make the two people that mean the most to him, happy.

He essentially parent traps them by inviting them to meet him at his childhood home while they’re in ManCity, so that Roy and Keeley have a opportunity to talk about their feelings. While they’re talking in his old bedroom, he anxiously waits in the living room.

Roy and Keeley talk about their break up, the actual reasons and Keeley, who is still so torn between Roy and Jamie, reluctantly asks Roy, whether they should try to get back together.

And then Roy fesses up and tells her that he loves her, that he wants her back, but that he has just figured out and accepted the fact that he is in love with Jamie and it would feel dishonest to just ignore that and go back to how things used to be. Since he is not the person he used to be and Jamie’s the reason he changed. And that is why Roy looks so vulnerable and emotional in that scene, almost as if he has cried?

(Bonus - and now I’m heading into “no way this happens, but lol” – what if at some earlier point Jamie and Roy hooked up for whatever reason, like accidentally getting high eating space cake in an Amsterdam coffee shop? Something where they can go the next morning, “OMG how embarrassing, how could this happen, hahahaha, let’s never talk about this ever again”, and it is basically “I had sex with Jamie” but it’s Roy who says it?

And Keeley being like “That is not a funny joke” and him being “It is not a joke.” and then having the longest monologue in his live about how he fell in love with Jamie)

And Keeley, who is always supportive, is totally accepting and encourages him to tell Jamie. So he calls him and Jamie comes in and Keeley tells him, that they decided not to get back together and that Roy has something to tell him. Then she leaves.

They sit on the bed.

Roy points to the poster of him on the wall, that has been fixed with scotch tape. “You weren’t joking. But what happened to it?”

“My dad tore it down. Didn’t like that I had it. Wrong team, you see.”

“Oh.”

Jamie clears his throat. “Sorry it didn’t work out with Keeley. But maybe at a later time! What is it you want to tell me?”

But Roy panics and doesn’t tell him, instead goes on to thank him for the effort and tells him, that Jamie is his best friend.

Which is something that touches Jamie, because he always wanted to be Roy’s best friend. They hug, but Roy can’t hide that he is disappointed in himself, for not being brave.

Roy later texts Keeley, that he couldn’t do it, since he was too scared Jamie could turn him down, and now Keeley is the one trying to set Jamie and Roy up, constantly cheering him on, while Roy thinks, that maybe the best thing would be to set Keeley and Jamie up, since Jamie is the boyfriend she actually deserves, hilarity ensues for an episode or two, until after Colin’s coming out, when Roy finally is brave enough to tell Jamie and they start dating.

(I still have to figure out, how exactly they would approach Keeley to become a part of the polycule, but that definitely happens. Maybe Rebecca mentions something to Roy, after Roy and Jamie eventually come out to the team as a couple, and then Jamie and Roy ask Keeley out on a date?)

#jamie x roy #roy x jamie x keeley #my wishlist #not really predictions

[drst]

House update

I am... still buying a house!

I am... still utterly terrified!

But I just found out my rent was going to go up over $200 a month if I stayed, which has helped.

So for those unfamiliar, the very rough outline of this process is find the place, make an offer, offer gets accepted, 8 billion administrative things you have to complete, then the closing happens. I’m in the 8 billion section right now. *sobs*

When you write a contract to make an offer to buy a house, you can ask for contingencies, which are basically how you get out of the contract without any penalties.

Inspection is the most common one, which makes sense. Most people get their homes looking nice when they go on sale, but there can be a lot of stuff wrong that isn’t visible immediately, so you (the buyer) pay for a home inspector to check the place over (mine cost about $600). It takes 2-3 hours, and you should be there for this along with your agent, but not the owner or their agent. You get a written report and have a certain number of days to nope out of the process if anything gets found you don’t like.

If you go ahead, you may have to get the property appraised, which is another contingency where the sale can halt. I have to say this is one thing that feels a bit like a scam. There are regulations on home inspectors and licensing and stuff that mean they have to have a level of knowledge and training but appraisals are murkier. But the home has to appraise near the amount of money you are offering for it, otherwise your mortgage may not go through, or the rates may change.

I’ve gotten through both of those things so I am basically locked in on my end. I’m buying this place, no take backs on my side.

But there’s also a financing contingency on me, which means if I can’t get the mortgage, the seller can bail on the sale and I lose the deposit money. I had gotten pre-approval from a mortgage broker (which I strongly recommend, because my mortgage company has sent me a detailed sheet with every place I seriously considered buying that spelled out the interest rate, monthly payment, fees, closing costs, etc. that gave me a much better idea of what I was looking at, money-wise. Also having a pre-approval letter, while not a guarantee of anything, shows you had your shit together and someone already checked into your finances and they think you’re likely to get a mortgage for X amount of money. If you’re in a market where buying is competitive the way it’s been the last couple of years, this can make you more attractive to sellers who don’t want to see the sale fall apart and have to start over) and I am 99% sure it’ll be fine but it’s not done until the underwriting gets done and everything is approved.

I’m working on getting home owners insurance, which I thought was going to be easy, but has turned out to be annoying. I hope to get that resolved tomorrow. Also I need to stop assuming any step in this process will go smoothly and revert to my natural pessimism.

I also had to take a first time home buyer’s course online FOR THE THIRD TIME. *scream* I get making people go through these, but I already did it twice!

This actually timed out great for me, assuming the closing happens as scheduled next month. Due to how mortgages work, the closing in mid-September means my first mortgage payment will be due at the beginning of November, and my last full rent payment on my apartment will be in October, so I get a smooth transition and don’t have to pay both at the same time. I also have about 5 weeks from when I get the keys to when I’ll move in to address the stuff in the inspection that has to be addressed before I want to live there.

Sadly there’s a bunch of boring plumbing and pest control stuff I have to deal with before I get to think solely about paint colors. I am already thinking about paint colors, of course, because THERE WILL BE NO NEUTRALS IN MY HOUSE DAMN IT. I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN RENTAL SPACES WITH BORING ASS NEUTRAL COLORED WALLS FOR 25 YEARS but there’s a lot of other tedious stuff I have to address too.

And I’m trying hard not to think too much about the money that is going to be flying out of my hands over the next few months. I’ve been saving for this for 5 years, specifically for this period of time, but having been close to broke for a good portion of my adult life, it’s frightening to think of losing those carefully hoarded pennies for anything.

#adventures in home buying

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi, thanks for answering, i appreciate it. also that you didn’t just call me toxic or some shit and tell me to fuck off. i’ve actually never thought of joining a discord server but it’s a good idea, thank you, i think i could try that. i guess on another account though to prevent anyone from accidentally finding out bc you know for yourself how it is. i’ll look up if i can find some kind of dbt workbooks online as well.

the journaling idea is good as well, i’ve actually been trying for a while but i end up rarely using it as a past experience left me with kinda bad trust issues about writing / drawing things down where someone could see them. but i guess i could try hiding it better this time or something. it’s just this thing that also sometimes venting like that actually ends up making me even more frustrated, as i realize i’ve already written about this exact thing countless times before yet still nothing has changed.

i’m trying not to make a too harsh judgement of my therapist yet, considering i haven’t been seeing her for that long, but… yeah. when i said that i’ve been going to therapy for years i meant going to a lot of different ones in this time. no one ever gets me. their advice is always so fucking useless. honestly at least this current one actually listens and doesnt make me feel uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. i think she’s the one i’ve been the most honest with because of that (and also because i just started telling her everything from the first session on already bc i’m tired of everyone always turning out to be nothing but a waste of time and money and effort), i generally lie to therapists esp my psychiatrist so i can get the meds i want (or else im 100% she’d just put me on some shit like antipsychotics, which ive been on in the past and i’d honestly rather kill myself than take them again, idk if you’ve tried them before but i basically felt r*tarded [idk how some ppl are sensitive of slur use like i personally dont care but i dont want your blog banned or smth] and tired all the time and it “”””helped”””” in the way that it made me too slow to be able to think about my problems. thanks psychiatry. not a traumatizing experience at all). i mentioned that i suspect i could have a personality disorder to her once or twice and she seemed to agree that it could be a possibility, but obviously no one can diagnose that fast. but i guess i’ll see. i really just want to know whats wrong with me, why do i think the way i do, why i can’t just be more fucking normal no matter how hard i try. but getting an actual diagnosis of a PD esp if it turned out to be this one would just mean i’d get treated even worse by every single doctor, not even necessarily a mental health one, bc physical doctors see all your records as well,, i’ve already been told my legitimate physical issues are just bc im depressed, or even if they dont straight up tell me they definitely treat me less seriously and i just know its bc i have mental illnesses diagnoses & im female.

i just … ugh. i feel so sick of it all and misunderstood. i know i can get genuinely abusive in arguments when someone upsets me but i really dont know how to stop or control myself. i hate that people act as if it’s all my fault. like everything i’ve gone through doesn’t even matter and i’m just an inherently evil person. like i didn’t have some kind of a terribly traumatic childhood, but i’ve always been either bullied or excluded by almost everyone i’ve ever met and all the social isolation honestly really fucked me up. i think that’s why i developed such a strong individuality complex as i’ve never been able to think all of it must be simply because i’m worthless. like fuck no, 99% of the people are dumb and shallow and ignorant towards reality of the world and i’m supposed to feel like i’m somehow worse than them? at least i have self awareness and my own thoughts. i mean i do think we’re all worthless because nothing in life has any value, so why should humanity be the exception? that still doesn’t stop me from hating everyone though. i may be a hypocrite but so is everyone else; and at least i don’t pretend to be a gOoD pErSoN. lacking empathy and not having morals doesn’t make me any less deserving of help even though i know how many people unironically believe people like me should just be shot. fucking brainless hypocrites, all of them.

but anyway yeah my point here is, fuck people who think anyone chooses to be this way. all of this has done nothing good for me other than made my life much harder. and not to mention unable to ever get genuinely close to anyone because what is the worth in a relationship if i can’t even bring myself to care about anyone? i don’t think “empaths” even realize how alienating it actually is. which is once again so ironic because THEY should be the ones to try to understand it, but no, they just generalize everyone and share the nonsense propaganda that we’re incapable of change.

so yeah, this turned into another vent but i really lack any people in my life who i could be honest with. i feel so lonely all the time. it’s not even really missing a friend group or romance or physical touch, it’s more of this feeling of feeling completely alone and that no one (other than a few people whose writings and actions i admire but they’re all dead) would ever be able to truly understand me. so yeah as cheesy as it is, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded i’m not alone by someone other than a generic social media post made by someone who’d 100% hate me if i told them even half this shit. can i maybe dm you sometime btw? i felt like staying anon while writing this bc i tend to get anxious with ppl at first but idk, maybe, if youre comfortable with that ofc

btw if its alright to ask can i ask how did you get diagnosed? what was the process like and how long did it take? did they suspect anything else at first? do you feel treated by ppl any differently now tjat you have a diagnosis of such a stigmatized disorder? (^ i mean these previous questions if youre diagnosed by a psych, if not its perfectly valid as well ofc) whats personally helping u to cope?

Good luck! I’m glad I could offer some help/reassurance. Maybe instead of a physical journal you could use a private blog or even just a notes app on your phone/computer if that sounds safer?

I do hope things improve with your new therapist and that things work out, it’s good that she at least agrees you might have a PD. Normally I’d recommend a therapist who specializes in PDs, maybe even especially NPD, but idk if that’s accessible for you and/or if you’ve already tried it and had no luck.

But again, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone, and what you’re going through and what you feel is 100% relatable to other pwNPD. I truly wish that more people understood us and the irony isn’t lost on me that it’s always “empaths” who are the ones who have the LEAST empathy for us. And I feel like the societal lack of understanding contributes to the more “ugly” or “stigmatized” traits of our disorder even more, tbh. Anyway, my point is that I definitely don’t mind at all if you vent, so please do feel free to DM me if you want to or feel more comfortable that way!

As for my diagnosis, it’s a bit messy — for context im a recent graduate from college and the bulk of my therapy came from campus services, where it was acknowledged I very likely had a PD especially within cluster B but I never got an official diagnosis while I was seeing the school-based therapist, and at the moment I’m trying to find a new therapist who can help me. At first we thought I just had a really intense form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD, then realized it was likely something else. So I’m a weird mix of “self diagnosed, but likely wouldn’t have admitted it to myself or realized it if a professional hadn’t pointed me in that direction.” Until I can find a professional im honestly just doing the best I can to help myself. Sometimes I get tempted to turn to substances to cope bc they make me softer and more open, and if you feel the same way I highly recommend avoiding this, ofc. I mostly use relatable music (lmk if you want my NPD playlist!) and DBT workbooks as a way to help myself, and I also just try my hardest to avoid or remove myself from situations where I might lose my cool and become toxic. Obviously this is easier said than done, but there are ways to do it. For instance, if I’m in a group chat where I feel like people are getting more attention than me, I’ll mute the group chat and maybe text someone from a different group one-on-one (not necessarily about my issues, just in general).I know that answer is pretty mild and entirely social media based lol, but it’s the best example I can provide.

[zeleniafic]

****just to be 100% clear, this has nothing to do with the recent callouts. that individual and their many offshoot blogs have been blocked for awhile now. get’em, anna. it’s also not about the revolving door of anon bullshit. anons have never gotten to me - but my own brain, on the other hand...****

----

i think..... i’m going to be off tumblr for... a while? idk. i’m just so... deeply exhausted. i have never been truly well but i am decidedly less well now than previously, to such an extent that i don’t have the brainpower to hide it behind humor anymore. i feel like i am just a black hole of negative feelings and idk why anyone would want to interact with me when all of my shit is just... so bleak, because the ONLY stories i have any kind of inspiration to tell right now is extremely thinly veiled vent writing about things i should be talking about with the trauma counselor i was recommended to see but can’t because i can’t drive myself there without having a panic attack. i feel like i can’t hold any kind of conversation or connect with anyone without making it awkward or traumadumping, so why on earth would anyone want to talk to me??? it’s always just the same old shit i still haven’t processed from the last time we talked. and likewise for all of my works, i don’t want to post shit sitting in my drafts rn because tagging people in it feels like i’m shoving my diary in your face and any response it gets is just borne out of pity or some sense of obligation.

it just feels so fucking embarrassing at this point. i’ve always felt inadequate on here, none of these feelings are new, idk why it’s hitting SO HARD right now. maybe it’s the adhd meds i’m trying not getting along with me (god knows they’ve slaughtered my appetite and reignited the eating disorder i thought i’d buried). i actually have no idea how to tell if this is meds or just my fucked up brain. i’ve always been tired, i’ve always had s. ideation on some level of passive to active for the majority of my life since... idk, somewhere in my early teens???? who knows, certainly not MY shattered memory, but the point is none of this is new. i guess that’s the crux of the problem. none of this is new.

i got diagnosed with ptsd last month. i turned 24 last week. i have virtually no relationship with my family, no degree, no path forward in life, and i keep doing worse and worse and worse in my classes no matter how hard i try to focus on them. birthdays have always been rough but i guess this one came packaged with a mental breakdown over the realization that i am getting further and further behind in life and i STILL don’t know what to do with it, because i don’t know how to make it feel worth living knowing that i’m just... always going to be weighed down by my past no matter how hard i push it to the back of my mind.

GOD idk what i’m even saying here anymore, i don’t know how to wrap this up. i don’t know what i’m doing. sorry. i’m so dissociated out of my fucking mind 99% of the time lately i don’t even know how to fucking communicate, i can barely even keep up with what day of the week it is. i just feel so... numb. my psychiatrist said that’s the ptsd, but my mother called me a psycho when i tried to describe dissociation so you can take your pick between those two i guess.

TLDR: i’ve been using stories/characters as a vent outlet for forever now but it feels so OBVIOUS at this point and i can’t stand feeling so... exposed. i feel guilty for not having the energy to keep up with what i’m tagged in, but even if i didn’t... i feel like anything i say or post or show on here is just so loaded with baggage it’s got a net negative impact on anyone who witnesses it. i already feel like dogshit and i feel worse and worse every time i’m on here so, i’m just... gonna stay off here. i guess.

----

(on the off chance anyone actually reads all this, this isn’t like, a cry for help or anything??? don’t freak out and panic message me or smthn. it’s just... idk. an apology, i guess?? i’ve always felt like my entire existence requires an apology lmfao. i feel like i’m failing by not being present to support the ppl i love on here. which is weird bc i simultaneously feel like my absence would be a weight off their backs. isn’t that a lovely fucking contradiction my brain loves to hold onto.)

#ignore this #idk why i'm posting it actually. it just feels.... weeirrd???? not to??? #idk this is just word vomit that. probably should be tagged but i don't fucking know how. um #tw eating issues #tw food mention #tw eating disorder #tw dissociation #tw suicide #maybe that will filter out anyone who definitely needs to NOT read this??? god. hopefully #genuinely my brain is not functioning properly idk wtf im doing. don't read this #zel.txt #irl #personal

[writerslock]

chapter one- who he never was- introduction

I’m not sure how to start this off.

The doctors told me it would be better to write all this stuff down to help with my memory, but I've never been good with introduction paragraphs. or introduction thoughts in this case, so i’ll start with the basics. My name is Anastasia, and I'm 16 years old. I have a lot of personalities, but my favorite one has to do with the fact I love love. if that makes sense. I love the feeling of love, I love loving others, i just.. I love love love.

I'm inferring that at least, as almost all of the posters in my room have a quote about love. My assumption is confirmed after seeing that the lights that adjourn the first clump of posters are hearts, and after skimming through my white bookshelf covered in dust, 99 out of the atleast 100 books have to do something with love.

I was told that I suffered a concussion during a crash I was involved in during the summer. my mom refuses to let me know what happened, telling me it will come when it comes. i don’t remember a lot to be honest, which is why i’m snooping around my own room, like a creep, but i guess not a creep in a way? I mean, the person i’m creeping on is myself, and technically I have permission. or is it just the creep in me- you know what, i’m just gonna stop talking.

back to what i was saying. I remember some names, and only two people including my mom, and also some feelings associated with it, but other than that, I can't remember jack shit. However, I still know all of the bracelet patterns I learned at summer camp in 5th grade. camp chattanooga 1, concussion 0. After I scour the underside of my bed, I find a box full of letters. all addressed to PEOPLE. WITH NAMES! AND STORIES. thank god past me had a passion for writing. The only issue with that is, some of the things I've made up or changed for, you know, my stories.

for example, test subject one. Wait, I hate that name, it makes me sound crazy. crush 1? no, basic. I know! victim 1. eh, it sounded better in my head. Whatever, code names don’t matter right now

victim one, carmen-

my first boyfriend, despite his name making him sound like a girl. I know this is a code name , but I know why I picked it. He had a girly name. That also made him sound like a summer boy.I had boyfriends before, but he was the real one, the one that stuck. We dated for a month in 7th grade, but he broke up with me shortly after. He wouldn’t even tell me why, had to find out a year later (by also being nosy). in the letter, one of the main points is an argument.. that happened a year after we dated.

what.

I don't know what to do with this information.

It feels like it’s pointing me in the right direction, but also pointing me right to a dead end. Also note that his name is on multiple letters in this box, and I have a hunch that there’s other things leading to him hiding in this room. I'll take this letter to one of the only people I remember, my best friend steve. she’ll remember something.

our weather might be bipolar, but i feel like recently august has always been hotter than it should. I'm wearing leggings, my white sneakers that have turned off white because of how dirty they've turned, a white tank top that was way too overpriced but made my boobs look good, and to top it all off, a zip up gray jacket. a cliche august core outfit, but i'm somehow still crisping up like a marshmallow.

I wanted to walk to be more aesthetic, but immensely regretted it a mile in, forgetting that even though it’s considered walking distance, it’s still 3 and a half miles.

As I walk into the small, low key library she works for, the century old bell rings throughout the store, alerting all of the college students just trying to study and the prestigious book worms I've entered the area.

As I walk up to the counter slowly, I scope around for steve. tilting my head to get a better angle around the shorter bookshelves, I still can’t find her anywhere. I end up walking up to the counter for help.

average height, brunette is at the counter. He has a lot of cologne on, as I can smell it from far, but it’s surprisingly not suffocating. it smells like he just came back from the beaches of Florida, so what’s he doing here? for some reason, it feels like he fits it but is a total outlier all at the same time. He doesn’t even notice me, as he seems preoccupied with sorting the $1.25 bookmarks they sell by color on the counter.

“hello welcome to legre scriptum-

…

anastasia?..”

oh shit.

#whoheneverwasseries #writers on tumblr #writing #fall aesthetic #fall season #reading #love story #love

[joannabsblog]

Thursday June 30th

I told my boss I’d open so here I am at the ass crack of dawn. I’ve done all my opening duties so again here I am writing to you. It seems I never have time for you anymore, I don’t write nearly as much as I should and it makes me sad. It took nearly everything for me to get out of bed, like three am? Seriously? Shits crazy man I don’t get it. It’s already humid outside which is gross, I like the heat but not when it’s like this. Makes everything you so unbearable. I’d rather be home in bed. But 99% of the time I’d rather be home in bed. When my alarm went off I hit snooze and lay there and thought of every possible way I could not go into work but alas I am here. I was putting on a little makeup in the bathroom when my boyfriend slept yelled at me “open!” I damn near flew out of my body, I came running in the bedroom “what’s wrong?!” Fucker was snoozing like a baby. But then when I came to kiss him goodbye he got up to pee and just drove me to work, I only live a minute away but since it’s 3am I always appreciate it. Words can’t describe how much I love that man, I’d do just about anything to make him happy. We’re rewatching Stranger Things, getting ourselves ready for volume 2 of season 4, I’m not ready. I don’t know who’s gonna die and that scares me. I think it’s gonna be Steve, Eddie and Murray those are my weird guesses, so I guess we’ll see. We finally got the pool at him parents up and running but ya girl started her period the day it was done so now I have to wait another five to seven days to enjoy it! And it’s about to be 4th of July weekend ugh. One of many struggles of being a woman. I’ve been trying to think of birthday plans for my 24th other then spending the day in bed crying because for some strange reason that’s what I normally have always done on my birthday, I’ve always had bad birthdays, I’ve normally spent it alone or sad and I don’t know if that’s just a depression thing or an unlucky thing but it’s my thing. My finger tips are so dry, so is my arms and chest, I’ve been breaking out in a rash on my chest for the past few weeks and I can’t get rid of it. I don’t know if it’s because of the summer heat or just my anxiety but it hasn’t gone away. I cut my hair recently and I’ve grown to love it, I gave myself bangs but I can sweep them to the side if I’m not feeling them at the time and I love it. Makes me feel good about myself. I’ve been feeling confident lately which is surprising. 4:48am God I wanna be in bed, why does everything about that sound like an absolute dream? The warm covers, the fan blowing on me, the silence of the world, my man and little dog by my sides. I find such comfort in those things. I will get to take a nap when I get home today at 11am but for starters it won’t be dark anymore and my man will be at work so lame but I’m looking forward to it. Thank God for naps and thank God I have a warm safe place to lay my head. -Joanna

#blog #self help #writing #happiness #love #boyfriend #happy #self care #stranger things

[unhinged404]

I dislike discourse posting and there rlly isn’t any reason to do it rn so alt time!!

The argument that schlatt is better than Dream is just so bizarre to me. Do I think Schlatt is a bad guy at all? Not by a long shot, I think that behind the camera he’s a lovely guy with a big heart. But I’m just so confused as to why a shit ton of schlannies seem to think that Dream is the scum of the earth. Like I’ll be totally honest I haven’t seen a Schlatt vid in a hot second since his return because his content just doesn’t really interest me, but I used to watch him a ton back when he first joined the dsmp because I was confused as to why ppl hated him.

But the things I see cited constantly are Dream’s seeming inability to apologize for old things but ignore the elephant in the room in that:

a) he HAS apologized for the things he’s done wrong. if he hadn’t I’d have been outta here ages ago

b) 99% of the stuff that he’s apologizing for has been dug from the depths of internet archives and nearly all predates his current run of content creation

that isn’t an excuse for him to have done it, I’ll be the first to say he isn’t perfect and this this fandom is far from it as well. but schlatt’s content that people find issue with are from his channel and the content he’s put out under the jschlatt name. no one’s going out of their way to dig up old archived videos he’s made bc most of it is still there. and that’s part of his brand! do I take issue with it? personally, I don’t but there are people that do and that’s fine. Dream’s past has rarely ever bled into his content, he focuses on minecraft mechanics and skill and the few videos that did have shitty things, he took down immediately after realizing that he did something that was bad or offensive. The other thing is that audience migration is not as high as people think it is—his YouTube audience is by no means a metric for his twitter audience. Hell, his alt (which is where most “drama” takes place nowadays) has less followers than his friends’ alt accounts. His reach is relatively limited on twitter besides those who spend their time obsessively hate following him.

And sorry I hate to say it but big Twitter schlannies that I’ve seen are just as bad as the worst of smiletwt. There is no exoneration there, my friends have gotten harassed and sent threats that I’ve seen when interacting w big schlatt accounts. By no means is this representative of all schlannies on twt but it’s hard to say one subtwt is worse than the other because…they’re not?

Idk it’s dumb to argue this and I’m too tired to articulate my thoughts properly but I guess a succinct example may get it across more clearly—Schlatt’s persona is a homophobic gay Republican and he owns it as an unlabeled guy. That’s just a part of his content. He’s not really apologetic for it and hey that’s fine, I have 0 right to police his content. But HE integrates it into HIS CONTENT. The shit he says, he (mostly, though ik in some cases he has backed off) sticks with. Most of Dream’s shit, on the other hand, are old videos mostly from before he ever started posting under the Dream name and he’s shown through words and actions imo that those are beliefs he’s learned were hurtful and wrong and he’s genuinely trying to be better than he was. But none bleeds into his content today, which is why I think it’s a little weird to say that Schlatt is actively a better person. He isn’t really, they’re both supportive in their own ways. Maybe Schlatt isn’t a worse person, but they’re even at best.

Also side note:

Dream is in a weird position where he could either be the strongheaded dumbass characteristic of the gaming world where he “doesn’t bow to twitter” or he could try to convey that he’s trying to be a better person and is learning that what was normal for him is wrong and offensive and never be enough for most people. Placating his audience is definitely a factor, it can’t not be as a public figure, but the way he writes shows a much deeper understanding of what he’s done wrong and how he’s identified points of improvement. He uses words like bigoted and racist to describe his actions. He tries to get it on a deeper level than most people even care to look. There should be no harm in allowing someone to grow from past mistakes and becoming a better person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

#oh wow this got long #hope this helps #aromantic #aro #writing #shipping #now to tag fandoms unfortunatly #critical role #caduceus clay #steven universe #peridot #su peridot #hazbin hotel #alastor #thats honestly all the popular characters i can thing of that are canon aro #ofc this goes for nonpopular characters too but i dont wanna hunt all of those down #so im just getting the big names #hope this doesnt get blacklisted for being tagged w hazbin and su lol rip #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #long post

[1987vampire]

Proxies x reader NSFW HCs

alot of these scenes will actually most likely end up in this story im writing lmao, so stick around if you want to see them fleshed out

Let's get the obvious beginner out of the way.

Toby is a tits man, Brian likes ass, and Tim is happy with whatever (he likes tits more he just doesn't want to be rude)

Now, let's start with Toby

Toby is the most submissive bottom you will meet in your life.

Has slipped a bit too far into subspace a few times, and you've had to stop immediately once you realized.

Motherfucker just wants to be dommed and dommed hard. Just tell him what to do, please.

Has the biggest fucking mommy kink (which contributes to his love for tits because the motherfucker will lavish those bitches like no other when given the chance)

Also has the biggest praise kink you will ever see. Has came embarrassingly fast because you called him your good boy.

99 percent of his knowledge of sex comes from porn so,, he's going to have to be retaught most everything.

Has definitely groped your tit too hard on multiple occasions because he thought it was the right thing to do.

Surprisingly good learner, though. Just wants to make you happy.

He's the best one for quickies out of all of them only because he cums extremely fast while still prioritizing you.

(He makes up for how fast he cums by how many times he can do it. Motherfucker will paint you white all over before his body gives out. Plus, his CIPA makes it to where he can't feel the burning in his legs as he fucks you for hours. Has literally kept going until his body gave out because you wanted him to.)

All the boys have very specific thoughts on oral. Toby will give or receive, whichever makes you happier, but when he's allowed to go down on you, it's like you're his last meal.

It's one of the only time's he'll disobey your commands because it doesn't matter if you've already came three times??? He's still eating, lady, shhh.

Tried to dom one (1) time. Not doing that again. Dude started crying half-way through because he thought he was hurting you and your feelings by ordering you around.

You had to pause and take a bath with him afterwards while he calmed down. He spent half the bath blubbering into your neck and apologizing more times than you could count.

Now, Brian is the exact opposite of Toby.

You asked to try and let him be the bottom a single time and he fucked you so hard you couldn't walk the next day.

A little shithead who loves blowjobs. Will give you head, but much prefers you on your knees with him stuffed so far in that he’s tapping the back of your throat and you’re gripping his thighs while he uses you for nothing more than his pleasure in the moment. 

Will mix degradation in with praise like he's been doing it his entire life. Has given you whiplash multiple times because of it.

He's so loud, too. Toby is whiny and begs, but this dude is in your ear with low grunts and groans, his voice spilling the foulest words he can think of.

Has you seeing stars while mumbling into your neck shit like "your pretty little pussy's taking me so well - like you were built to be my cocksleeve. Just a cumslut who takes whatever I give you. Look at you, all fucked out of your mind, pretty little baby. Can't wait to paint your fuckin' insides. It's what whores like you deserve."

He's also the best at aftercare, though. You normally have to take care of Toby after, and Tim does jack shit unless needed.

Brian, though, has his dresser packed with shit to take care of you with after. Will bathe you, dress you, tell you little reassurances, make sure you're okay.

He's also best at knowing when to stop. He can sense your hesitation as if he's the one feeling it.

Because of his dirty mouth, he's had to break off sessions early a few times. The biggest was when you started crying halfway through him fucking you missionary, and not the kind of crying he liked (because let's be real, this motherfucker loves to see you cry and beg to cum.)

He had called you a whore a few too many times through the session, and you had taken it a bit too close to heart (it was something that hit a bit harder than needed since you were dating multiple men at once.)

He spent the whole night cuddling you and reassuring you that he didn't really mean it. He loved you, they all did, it was just for the roleplay. "Stop crying, pretty baby, we're okay. I'm not actually mad. Let me see a smile, c'mon, doll."

Also, let me mention that because y'all are so fucking loud, Tim has banged on the door quite a few times trying to get you to calm down.

Tim made the mistake of grumbling to himself during dinner one time in front of you and Brian that 'you're so fucking loud it sounds like you're recording a goddamn porno in there.'

If you hadn't been choking on your food so hard, you might have noticed the sly grin that crossed Brian's face, though it was brought back later when he ended up filming you quite a few times from that night. It wouldn't be posted anywhere - fuck that, you were theirs, and no one else's.

(he did accidentally share a video of you cumming to the group chat all four of you were in on accident while sending cute pictures of the two of you. The mortification of hearing your moans come through the speaker of Toby's phone while he stared at it dumbfounded was enough for you to not talk to Brian for a whole week. It didn't matter if they had seen you like that before, it was still embarrassing!)

(Brian didn't tell you that the other two - Tim especially - had been sent worse videos than that.)

SPEAKING OF TIM.

Let's get started with this man. Tim is the laziest motherfucker known to man but it is nice. 

Really, he’s not lazy, he’s just tired a lot, and he doesn’t want to put the effort in the fuck you senseless when you’ve got two others for that. 

He prefers sleepy fucking where you’re both half-out-of-it and breathless. He enjoys both of you on your sides with him spooning you, his hips moving just enough to give enough friction for the both of you to cum after a while. You can and will fall alseep right after with him still buried inside of you.

Speaking of, what’s the best way to get y’all’s sexual tension out while still being lazy (besides just making you ride him which he does very often) ? Cockwarming. 

He won’t even just do it in bed when it’s the two of you. He’s shimmied his pants down just enough for his cock to slip out and pushed your panties aside (since you were only wearing an oversized shirt and underwear. I mean, what did you think would happen?) and made you sit on him in the middle of the living room while the other two were lounging around, too distracted to notice. 

However, if someone does notice (Especially in the beginning because you were horrible at hiding your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing from understimulation) he would not hide it.

“H-hey, y/-y/n, what’s-sss-s with the f-fa-face?” Toby had asked innocently one night while you were all watching TV together. You knew Tim was smirking behind you as he lifted the hem of the big shirt just enough to let Toby know what was going on. Boy blushed so hard and covered his eyes, smacking his face harshly in the process, and Tim and Brian snickered (because of course Brian already knew.)

Cockwarming also means that the second you finally - finally - start fucking, it’s over for the two of you in less than a minute, your fingers clawing at him as you finally get your release after hours. (the longest he’s made the two of you wait was four hours because we’re watching Toby’s favorite movies, we can’t interrupt him, now can we, darlin’?’

He’s also a huge fan of facesitting. Not the biggest fan of receiving blowjobs only because it makes him feel too vulnerable, but he could have you sit on his face for hours and not complain, his hands gripping your ass tight enough to leave bruises as he laved his tongue over your clit over and over. 

The only - only - times Tim has fucked you rough was when it wasn’t even really him. You had been half-asleep with your back to him one time as he rutted into you slowly when you suddenly felt yourself flipped so you were ass up with your face being pushed into the mattress, his hips jutting at a speed you didn’t know he could reach.

You didn’t even have to look back to know that Masky - his alter that didn’t show himself too often around you - had taken over. 

During getting fucked that time by Masky, you ended up so deep in subspace, trying to please the man you didn’t get too see that often that you let him him rip orgasm after orgasm from you until you couldn’t think straight and you entered a space where all you felt was pleasure, and you couldn’t even see straight.

You were brought out of it by Tim pressing a cold rag to your forehead, whispering sweet nothings to you as he tried to get you to come to, apologizing profusely for letting it happen. You had just grinned and - though your voice was thoroughly fucked up from screaming - told him to let Masky know he could do that again any time. Tim had gotten so flustered that he walked out of the room for a few minutes. 

Speaking of alters real quick.

Tim and Brian are the only ones to have them - Masky and Hoody respectfully, of course - and they come out around you very little. Hoody comes out more than Masky though, and you can tell the difference in how quiet Brian will get. 

Hoody and Masky have fucked you both separately and together (so have Tim and Brian but we’ll get to that in a second)

Masky loves you ass and prefers to have you in doggystyle over anything while Brian’s love for blowjobs is only intensified in his alter who will have you gagging on him until you almost pass out. He’ll give you a moment to breathe in just a second, just hold on a little longer, okay?

Hoody is almost always silent besides grunts that let him communicate with Masky. This is apparent even when you’re not fucking, and the three of you have to teach yourselves how to decipher the man’s made up language. 

Masky is quiet too, but will grumble to himself more than anything, calling you the worst name’s he can think of while he slams into you so hard that you don’t even have to move yourself to give Hoody a proper blowjob, his grip on your hips and force of his thrusts are enough to have you bouncing back and forth quickly. 

It’s not like you could really move anyways, not when Masky’s picking you up by your thighs and holding your hips up as he plows into you.

They love spitroasting but have definitely done double penetration even if you complain that you’re not prepped. Who cares? You’re obviously ready for it, look at you already cumming even though they haven’t moved. 

Now, as for threesomes and or foursomes

Nine times out of ten, Toby is too embarrassed to do anything in front of the other two. Maybe if you coax him enough, reassure him that nobody will judge, he might join in for the night, but it’s an incredibly rare occurrence. Watching Brian boss you around is enough to make him squirm. You were supposed to be in change, not him? But there you were with your tongue sticking out as you rolled your hips against Tim, ready to fit either of them in your mouth. The other can always take another hole. 

Toby not wanting to join doesn’t really both the other two though, and though it’s still not as common to have a threesome compared to one on one, Tim and Brian are always ready to share. Especially when you look so pretty whining into the air as you take both of them at once. 

You don’t mind if Brian takes a few photos, right? I mean, just look at you! This is a perfect moment to capture. Ignore the fact that you’re now Tim’s home screen, your pretty tits out in the open as his cock is buried inside of you, Brian’s hand gripping the flesh of your hip. Why wouldn’t he want to see it all the time?

The same applies to them as their alters. Spitroasting is their absolute favorite, though Tim prefers it if you ride him while you slobber all over Brian instead of him having to use his energy to fuck you into oblivion. 

They love double penetration as well, but once they tried to fit both of them in your pussy instead of one in your ass and you came so hard that you passed out. It’s brought out on special occasions after a l o t of prep.

really, overall. you have a boy for whatever mood you're in and you're literally never horny because the second you mention it someone is on top of you.

#proxies x reader #masky x reader #hoody x reader #ticci toby x reader #proxies #creepypasta x reader #poly!proxies x reader