#im into goofy men

[mimi-ninjago]

THE MASK/BIGHEAD

DATING HEADCANNONS

Goofy man, love this goofy man idc what anyone says.

If you were ever sad, he’s the one to call up, because this man will make you laugh, and cheer up!

calls you, toots, doll, hot stuff, sometimes corny things.

literally saves you from everything, say you’re getting mugged, will be there, if you scream.

calls you his ‘partner in crime’

loves to dance with you, hold you close to him is his favorite.

you already knew that stanely was big head, and you didn’t mind it, you loved him no matter what

SMOKIN!!

#themask #themask1994 #the mask 1994 #the mask x reader #the mask 1994 x reader #im into goofy men

[ozymoron]

need a man whos silly. need a man whos goofy and weird and embarassing but he doesnt give a shit about it

#⚠️ #im into goofy men #type of man im tryna be

[brother-emperors]

When you talk about Philippino history and then Roman history, as a Venezuelan it's been making me think about our history and like, I've always thought there's a lot of similarity there but now it's like...its so similar. Your house is haunted too! I always think about how we won wars against the colonizers but their ghosts are still there, and they still sit at the dinner table with us every night. Your work is so cool, I feel like I can extend that train of thought further through time. I've never been interested in Rome but now I kinda am!

Venezuela 🤝the Philippines: being haunted houses (colonized by Spain)

also that is so SO real, the ghosts really are with us!! THEY ARE AT!!! OUR DINNER TABLES!!!!! ngl, once you start noticing it, it's impossible to NOT notice how they've crawled into the spaces and just. stayed.

ancient Rome is so weird for it too, because if you asked me about it, I wouldn't immediately put ancient Rome down for haunting the Philippines, except for the fact that like Catholicism, it's fucking everywhere. it's gotten in the cracks and spaces between the walls. On the stage of theater, Nadres' Hanggang dito na lamang at maraming salamat: the main character is named after Julius Caesar

Closet Queeries, J. Niel C. Garcia

and so many people are named after figures from ancient Rome (I know enough Mark Anthonys I've run out of differentiating nicknames for everyone) that it rivals Catholic saints for naming conventions. neo classical architecture had it's moment in the sun in Manila, our ilustrados brought some of it back when they returned from Spain to call for reform, and then independence, and I am struggling to hold back a plague-infection comparison about that. like, something else crept in with Spain, and like Spain's ghosts, it Did Not Leave.

but on the other hand! there's a long, centuries long, tradition of using the events of the Fall of the Republic to discourse, discuss, to vent or call for action, current events. it provides a interlocutor when something hurts too much to say directly, it provides a stage to explore a tragedy that echoes in our own histories, it gives a script to voice an ideal that a government might otherwise put down. how many centuries have we used Brutus (and Cassius) to rail against Tyranny, and how many centuries with equal enthusiasm have people used Julius Caesar as a martyr to justify the rights of Kings and Empires? these things are equally as important (in a different way) from the ancient events that actually transpired. (this specific topic, of Brutus & the Assassination of Caesar and it's literary revivals in history, are the focus of The Brutus Revival, Manfredi Piccolomini)

and the cores of these things conflict with each other, but in that friction, it's like there's an invitation to sit down and think for a minute. to look back at history and feel it's immediacy in the present.

ANYWAY I got carried away, but I am glad!! that my stuff could make Rome interesting!!! I hope that you find new doors of thoughts to explore!!!!!!!

#holding this ask in my heart forever thank u for sending this anon #ask tag #idk sometimes i draw goofy shit because its fun. and gay stuff because I Like Men ofc im going to explore things thru that lens #but also. i feel a little like im trying to look at this lurking ghost of imperialism without. addressing it directly #my love for spectacle and drama directly against knowing that the historical horror is not. that far removed. heugh. #so this meant a lot to me!! i feel seen in a good way. thank u again!

[smuggonifico-lmao]

Sterne, Sterne, betrübt seid ihr so

sterbe, sterbe, und gib mir dein Lob

Die Flügel sind weich, der Nachthimmel bleich

Sterne, oh Sterne, stecht mir in mein Leib

sterbe, oh sterbe und blut‘ für mein Leid

Mein Leiden sei dein, dein Leiden sei mein

Und des Nachthimmels Licht ist immernoch bleich…

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp philza #qsmp etoiles #codebreakers #me when im silly goofy minecraft men mode

[feldsparse]

There's Nothing Warm Between Us:

Il Dottore (Zandik) x AFAB Reader

(SFW, Fluff)

(Silly little drabbles I thought up in my head of a Modern Girl in Tevyat situation. Don't ask me how they met just know (Reader) was a STEM girlie. Residental lunatic needed an assistant and now they have awkward moments together cause they're both emotionally stunted. That's it that's the premise)

An exhausted animal sits in her little office at the end of the day, the door closed and a blanket around her shoulders. A moments peace usually wasted away by scribbling at reports and schematics. Experiments are more fun, well if you don't mind the rotten work that follows with it. She doesn't, not anymore at least, the blood washes down the drain at the end of the day anyways. There could be better ways at spending time than writing. Sleeping perhaps? Gods what those eyebags under her eyes would give just to get some fucking sleep. The lack of melatonin in Teyvat is a downright blasphemy. Big pharma and American healthcare had its wonderful little perks. Now she works for a man of many faces who you should probably never accept drugs from. Maybe when her courage arises to ask one of the more...softer? Segments for anything akin to horse tranquilizer then maybe. Zeta or Epsilon would probably help she thought, but when one listens the others will no doubtedly start asking as well. Damn Dottore and his connected consciousness. Wait would he help? The assistant tilted her head at the thought before shaking it indignantly. He has enough problems, his segments making up about twenty-four and himself making seventy-five of them. She's not going to be the one that breaks it to a hundred. Forcing her eyes awake and doubling down on the reports in front of her, the clock striking at five when she walks out of her own office and places the papers in a 'Done' folder outside of Dottore's office. A measured knock follows on the door to signify it's delivery, better than bothering him to tell him they're done. A couple segments passing by and nodding at her in greeting, Beta excitedly telling of his latest experiment. Delta notices the exhausted look in her eyes drags him away quickly, a thankful smile given from the assistant in turn. She retires to her office again and props her feet on her desk and leans back in the chair. Despite the futon next to the desk she knows if she falls asleep there she's waking up at 3am feeling like shit. Just for a moment, nobody will probably bother her. She leaves the blanket on the futon and falls asleep, embraced by the cold chill and the arms of the office chair.

POV Change:

A knock sounds at the door, Zandik stands at your office, wanting to go over some of the results from your report earlier. Hoping you haven't gone back to your quarters, or he could always bother you, it's not like you have anything better to do. After no response he checks to make sure your door is locked, surprisingly not. Opening the door slightly he lets out a soft sigh at your appearance. Arms crossed over your chest and head leaning onto your shoulder. He walks into your office quietly and debates waking you up for a moment. Most of his segments have been noticing your decreased energy as of late, a loss of weight as well. He frowns at the idea that you remind him of himself sometimes, though you're not a monster like he is. You've been distancing yourself again, most notably after the 4th anniversary of you appearing in Tevyat.

Should he ask how you're doing?

You'll probably just say you're fine and go back to working. A fools approach to a deer ready to flee at anything unknown. He gently lifts your glasses off your face and sets them on the desk.

Should he move you?

Would you wake up?

He tests his thoughts and leans down to lift up your legs and slides his other arm around the middle of your back. After making sure you don't wake up he moves you onto the futon, startling slightly when you shift around and curl in on your body. The warmth of your body seeps past his gloves and makes him retract his grip from prolonging it's welcome. He eyes the blanket and decides against covering you up, it's much more believable that you wouldn't if you moved yourself. He turns your chair, looks at the scene, and quickly and quietly removes himself from your office. Turning down the thermostat in hopes you wake up cold enough to move back to your own quarters.

Hours Later:

You wake up cold on the futon, looking around confused as your vision was blurred. Looking up to see your glasses setting on your desk, and office chair turned. It wouldn't be the first time you've moved half asleep. As you stood up you put on your glasses, slowly blinking to adjust from waking up you noticed something.

The stack of reports you finished earlier sitting neatly stapled and papercliped. Lying on your desk.

#dottore #dottore x reader #dottore x you #dottore x fem!reader #dottore x y/n #Jesus im so tired writing this sorry if its bad #no editing we die like men #dottore is zandik #god i wanna write about his goofy little segments

[bonesblubs]

Saw your fetal Mobei jun post and was wondering how you think SQH would snap if smth happend to Mobei?

As an author, he can be quite creative with his revenge...

I see LBH as a bit of a self insert/power fantasy for SQH. They both share qualities; the biggest difference between them being confidence/power. SQH could be a lot bigger of a player, but he chooses to blend into the background where LBH is front and center. I think though the way they present themselves is wildly different, the way that they love is quite similar. They have almost childish approaches to love and devotion. It’s possessive, so I think if something happened to MBJ, SQH would be just as ruthless and vengeful as LBH, it would just manifest in different ways. 

#art tag #ask box #svsss #im sure u meant feral but the typo is killing me #at least im assuming you meant feral #kjfshajh #everyone in SVSSS is very lucky that SQH is humble/goofy cause he legit could have so much power #but it feels like he doesnt even consider that- or doesn't want it. #PIDW is like a power fantasy in a lot of ways #SQH is LBH with the opposite of what a protagonists halo is #thats just my take on it so far! #they also both have a thing for aloof powerful men #SQH was writing PIDW and said 'im going to give my protagonist so many cool features' and instead just passed down all of his issues #but balanced it by giving him a rly big sword

[mushroom-winners-proof]

i really liked how the commission i got to do for @fiveais turned out so with their permission i now present it to all of ye as well :)

commission info (as of 5/16/22)

#commission #kh #kingdom hearts #kh3 #kingdom hearts iii #xion #roxas #axel #lea #snap sketches #here take this while i shower ill draw the old men later #QUICK CONTEXT for the g's who read the tags #i like to do this thing where i give xion doll joints because im vile like that #and since kh3 roxas is also in a vessel yk.. we're here :) #and ais really liked that i did that so they asked me to draw these three together an all and BOY was i hyped to do it #cause i truly do love my goofy lil doll bs and having the opportunity to draw it is always good for my soul #but yeayea i really liked how this turned out- mostly the bg LMAO BUT ITS STILL CUTE #i never draw these three together..... criminal...... #well hope yall like this :) im gon go step in the freezer thats my shower now #its like 6AM this is a terrible time to see it but ill bump it later or something

[qbedience]

theres something so funny about kaidan being just a little silly whenever hes off duty. like when this man is idle he sways his arms and grins like a lil idiot. hes a 35 year old grizzled soldier of war who has let life change him but he kicks his legs in glee and giggles like a little schoolgirl whenever shepard takes the time to talk to him. he gossips on the phone to lt vega during shepard's probation and twirls the phone cord around his finger as he chats. he gets squirky with it

#kaidan alenko #mass effect #q talks #emotional men that arent afraid to be vulnerable or a little goofy i love you. he has my heart #this one never made it out of the drafts so today im releasing it into the wild

[mwahrails]

tentative design for chantilly's friends idk

#arte #i cant decide on the first guy's hair #i call him kuro in my head but thats a goofy asf name so ill pick a new one eventually #he was going to be a dainty but i am now old enough that i do not see the point in giving someone money #to make an oc. so now hes just a regular catboy that has stockings #kind of thinking of giving bo deer ears but at the same time idk #also im aware bo's outfit is a lot like evretts #i want to change evretts eventually bc i dont like it on him #but mens fashion is hard

[sunflowercider]

Crunchyroll, wikipedia, and myanimelist: "My New Boss is Goofy" is a just a nice non-romance comedy slice of life! No other genres :)

Me: okay!

The first two episodes: -two comparisons to each others ex-girlfriends, visit an amusement park (on business) together even including the classic lost child trope, one guy gets so scared he hugs the other for a whole haunted house and a little after, one guy's entire life was changed by the other for the better-

Me:

#look. im aware. im aware men can be friends. but holy shit. #my new boss is goofy #i just was looking for a cute brain-off anime to watch while i ate #what on earth

[astrozure]

oh my god goofy one piece !!

#one piece #monkey d luffy #Luffy #op luffy #ONE PIECE GOOFY REAL dude he's so. #......he's......im nervously sweating hold ln hes so...hes quite uhm #mr strawhat i am single i know how to cook i like men and i'll be free this friday btw #He's my best friend he's my pal he's my homeboy my rotten soldier my sweet cheese my good time boy #zures art

[alicenpai]

🖋🌱🍀 good morning witch hat atelier nation!!!!! 😤 i need your opinions. for science

#ive been thinking of drawing more of the charas and adding more to my button set #but over the years. i noticed most people just buy their favourite 1-3 charas so it might not be worth it. #but on the other hand for the small handful of people who get the set. they are very happy to have all of the characters. #i dunno ill think about it #at the very least i think coustas is a fan fave #i do need a break from merch bc im getting burnt out and disillusioned. just testing the waters #maybe ill just take it as a popularity contest and draw them for fun #witch hat atelier #as for me ! i think i have a soft spot for beldaruit. goofy lil guy what can be better than stylish old men

[bugsandthebeans]

I feel like getting into mcyt is like finding yourself falling into a really deep rabbit hole with entire different colonies of bunnies for the different servers, and in each of these there’s who knows how many tunnels branching off which increase in length and number by the day and you just find yourself getting lost in one of these tunnels for such a long time, so by the time you’ve actually stumbled your way out, tired, thirsty and muddy, you know your entire way around that particular colony of tunnels and are friends with every single bunny there, each of which has told you their extensively long and usually traumatic life story and forced you to learn it word for word, with embedded quotes like a fucking rs exam.

And then you somehow find yourself in a different set of tunnels, and realise you actually met this other set of bunnies as a young child playing in the field one day, and so you all catch up and you find out all your old bunny friends have got married and had children and yada yada, and so you’re able to learn your way around this burrow much quicker, and by the time you’re ready to leave your now reunited bunny friends all make you promise to come back and visit every so often, and you absolutely must go and send their regards to another set of bunnies in one of the nearby burrows.

So off you go onto the next one, and you do actually know a few of these bunnies that have moved from the burrow with your old friends to this newer, but still homely and warm burrow, with a little chaos added in. But you find you like this chaos, it’s not like the heavy traumatic chaos of the very first burrow, where you got stuck in tunnels for days on end, it’s more like one of the bunnies will change the entrance of a tunnel and not tell anyone, then laugh whilst everyone else tries to blindly find their way around, all of you giggling like maniacs as you try to catch the one changing the layout in the act, and instead falling right into a small hole they’ve planned for that exact situation.

So you soon learn that there are groups of different bunny colonies that are friends, and all these groups frequently visit each other and they all have fun together, so you’re slowly introduced to all the bunnies from all the burrows, and some you see more often than not and are better friends with, but there are also some that you just know exist but don’t really talk much, and sometimes even bunnies from completely different burrows will take a day trip to see each other and then leave for a month and you won’t see them for a good while until they randomly show up in someone else’s tunnel again, or you just so happen to be walking past on your way somewhere else, and you go to say hi and accidentally spend a weekend there.

And so you pretty much just live with these bunnies for the rest of your life, once you’ve fallen down that rabbit hole there’s no going back up, but you enjoy it because you have many bunny friends to talk to all the time and there’s just so many of them and they’re all so interesting, and even if you do end up somehow managing to crawl your way out of the rabbit hole, you always keep the memories of these bunny friends close to your heart, and whenever you see a bunny outside you don’t hesitate to give it a smile and a nod, and maybe even a wave or a friendly hello as it passes :]

#did I just write an entire essay comparing mcyt to bunnies what have I done #mcyt #hermitcraft #life smp #dsmp #empires smp #still though how on earth did I think of this #im astonished at myself what was I doing #i literally just spent an hour comparing goofy minecraft men to bunny rabbits help #grian #third life #last life #double life #man I love pressing enter after writing a tag the way it just bloop turns into a little blue blob is so so satisfying oh my god #AND THE WAY IT JUST SLIDES UPWARDS AAEUUGHH #oh my god I fucking love metaphors

[cognitosclowns]

Alpha-Beta NSFW Alphabet <3

UM. PRETEND I DIDN’T FORGET TO POST THIS. PRETEND I DIDN’T. LEAVE THIS IN MY DRAFTS THINKING I POSTED THIS PRETEND OUTIS IS COMPETENT. PRETEND THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN JUNE PRETEND MY BRAIN IS NOT SMOOTHER THAN A BOILED EGG

smnsmd yea I’ve <33 been wanting to do one of these for a while and who better than my favorite omnicidal robot man <3333

[template here!!]

NSFW BELOW!! minors go away 

THIS IS GONNA BE P LONG BC,, I am unable to shut up about this man + I added to some sections after Part 2 came out so,,, yeah. Brainworms. Expect plenty of sillygoofery, tangents, X Reader, etc. you know the the drill by now MASNDMASNDMASD mwah mwah on y va

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

OOOO <33 BOYE

He. forgets you need to breathe so expect so many dazed little kisses.

Especially right after he cums, while his systems are still fuzzy. Your warmth is absolutely intoxicating. He’s like a lizard on a hotstone.

His tongue feels like a lead ball in his mouth, so they aren’t really coordinated kisses. 

More,, vague lip movements with a bit of tongue <3

He does not have the system functionality to be a little shit + any shyness he has left evaporated around the third time you made him cum <3 

TLDR expect him to be a lot more tender and scrambled than usual!!

It’s probably the messiest you’ll ever see him?? 

Like he,, thinks he’s more competent than he actually is.

All his movements are super jittery, more than a little unbalanced. He’ll go to brush a hair out of your face and instead just. clumsily jam his fingertips your cheek. Absolute tragedy. 

What’s better is he barely realizes it, so SAVOR THAT SHIT!!! 

Usually he makes an effort to seem ~Put Together And Ohoho Superior Lifeform~ etc, etc. 

These moments are rare!!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It isn’t that he dislikes his current form. he’s just,, mostly neutral to it?? 

He doesn’t really have the options to change it, and even if he could there’s nothing he really hates enough to swap out?

Once he’s a bit more independent, sure, he’ll gladly do some experimentation, but for the moment that’s hardly his priority. He’d settle for just. having legs. maybe an arm. please.

THE STREAK IN HIS HAIR DOES FUCK THOUGH AND HE’S FULLY AWARE OF IT. HE TOTALLY KNOWS HOW GOOD THAT LOOKS THAT’S NEVER CHANGING LMAO.

OK THIS IS CLICHE BUT HE REALLY CAN’T CHOOSE WHAT HE LOVES THE MOST ABOUT YOU. 

He finds every aspect of you so,, clever and endearing and absolutely wondrous. he could write a 5000 page thesis about you and still have more to say.

If he was to choose smth of yours it’d be so,, oddly specific.

The way your throat flexes when you swallow. The little blink of surprise when you see him. The way your skin folds when you bite your lip. Scars, birthmarks, burns, stretch-marks, discoloration. Nothing gets him hotter than the little details that make you up.  he’s such a sap at heart.

IN TERMS OF,, ‘CLASSIC’ BODY PARTS?

It’s thighs. thighs thighs thighs he is a thighs man and he’s so obvious about it

He lavishes every part of you, obviously, but his eyes light up a special kind of way when he,, slowly peels off your trousers to reveal that particular section of flesh,

Kisses, hickeys, biting, laying on them so he can stare up at you like a lost puppy to appreciate their softness, having you sit on his face and to feel the weight. Anything and everything. 

The flesh is so,, pliable and gooey. There’s nothing like it <3

[OH, BONUS ONE??? SINCE PART 2 ??? hands. Not quite as intensely as thighs, but if he stares at your hands too long, his mental energy is just gonna melt into fantasies of finger-sucking.]

YES this means he’d 10000% be into thigh-fucking, and he goes as feral as you’d expect <3

GOD <333 there’s like. Tangible friction-heat bc of the speed + intensity - he’s not inside you, there’s no risk of damaging internal organs! I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some friction burns after though. sorry.

Since he doesn’t have to worry quite as much about accidentally hurting you, It gives him a bit more room to be,,, unkempt. [If you want him super sloppy :o that’s gonna be a good option!!]

[BONUS,, if he ups his sensitivity?? and he has his head against/between your thighs?? The pulse of blood through your arteries makes him so indescribably horny. Its like a direct connection to your heart <3]

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

OH he wasn’t,, programmed with cum, because that’s absolutely useless to him. 

It honestly wasn’t even smth that occurred to him because,, what’s the point if he can’t reproduce?

If you ask him for it, he’ll absolutely add it and,,,, uh,, <333 new favorite thing

NEW FAVORITE THING

he develops a breeding kink at lightning speed when he sees his artificial cum drooling out of you <3

he tries to logic his way out of it several times (it doesn’t make sense, he can’t even impregnate you, etc) but. kinks do not care about logic robot man. Start breeding. MSNDMSND

He cums buckets, bc he’s a greedy little bastard who clings to positive sensory inputs. The added slickness and heat and just,, sensation adds so much. 7/10 times your lower half is gonna be absolutely covered in the stuff.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A shameful amount of power is devoted to replaying memories of your escapades. A frankly mortifying amount. His processing speed has tanked since he’s met you, just bc of how much of his RAM (RAM? is that the right term? smb teach me computers sos sdmnsd) is dedicated to fantasies. He always has something playing in the back of his head.

He’s literally taking this knowledge to his tomb and if u ever find out he’ll roll himself into a fountain

Also there’s this Tiny Little Microscopic Infinitesimal Thread of self-loathing that somewhere along the line bundled up into a secret fantasy about wanting to be. dominated and degraded and absolutely ruined by a human. If he thinks too hard about it he’ll give himself a crisis. so. secret kink.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

BABEY HE WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE HAVE FUN <3

alright he has a lot of theoretical knowledge, bc of the whole ‘Plugged Into The Internet Oh God Oh No The Horror’ thing, but he figures out very quickly that,,, theoretical ≠ practical.

(you KNOW the first time you two have sex. it’s gonna realign his fucking humours MSNDMS he did NOT anticipate how good that shit would feel)

HES A FAST LEARNER THOUGH. REAGAN DID A BANG-UP JOB W/ HIS PROBLEM-SOLVING CAPABILITIES SMDNSD

Like,, he’s gonna struggle for a solid few minutes while figuring out the specifics, but it helps to liken it to an experiment - he’s very methodical in figuring out what exactly gets the best reactions out of you. After that, he’s pretty much set <3333 have fun SMNDSMDSNMD

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

WELL,, in his current state he is sort of limited? there’s 1001 ways he’d like to have you but currently he has very few options. Overall he just,, really likes having you Close. If he can’t feel your pulse through your skin you aren’t nearly close enough smsdmsnsmdnsmd

OK IM DIVERTING RQ BECAUSE IF HE WAS REPAIRED??? [alternatively, holo-chamber fun?] <3333

Legs over his shoulders, completely pinned to the bed, not a single thought left between your ears.

HE LIKES THE CONTROL. He likes seeing you all spread out and brainless, soft and pliable for him. It’s such a delight to see you willingly vulnerable - not only do you feel safe enough to be all limp, but you’re asking for more. Rambling nonsensical little gasps n moans while you try to piece together the thoughts you wanna get out. Absolute bliss, he wants nothing else.

ALTERNATIVELY?? just,, super domestic, just-woke-up saturday morning sex. Something about this man tells me he’d like that. The mixture of Super Close and Your Brain Being Mushy feels up his alley?

If he’s bottoming tho? he isn’t picky about positions, as long as he can feel you against him. When he’s getting his guts rearranged, the proximity is more important than the specifics of how he’s oriented. He’ll take whatever you’ll give him, so long as you give <3

TLDR. he flip-flops between kinda-possessive ego-fueling positions where he can see you all strewn out, and super soft n’ gooey positions. the robot man is versatile, what can I say.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Hmmm there’s a timeline here lemme get out the whiteboard

At the beginning? He’s definitely more serious. a few snarky little comments sprinkled in here and there. You’re pretty sure if he doesn’t say smth snippy every 5 minutes he’ll self destruct.

This kinda plays into the Intimacy question later on but,, the vulnerability that comes with sex makes everything very tense for him. It’s easier to be a Scowling Little Bastard during sex than,, all soft and relaxed.

It also helps him disguised how mind-meltingly flustered he is MSDNSMND

He gets there eventually, but it takes some time!! He unwinds more as you two get into it, yk?

Once touch doesn’t feel New And Scary + sex is smth he’s more accustomed to? Expect the Additional Spattering Of His Very Stupid, Very Cheesy Jokes.

You know its True Love (tm) when one day you pull too hard giving him a handjob and pop his dick out of its socket, dropping it on the floor where it just kinda. vibrates in circles.

without missing a beat, he picks it up, holds it to his ear and straight-faced says, ‘Hello? No they’re busy right now, can I take a message?’

Did this man improv an entire 7 minute conversation with someone on his Vibrating Dick Phone, while you cracked up laughing on the bed? Yes. Was that also the day you decided you were gonna marry him? Also yes.

TLDR. the goofs will increase as he settles into the comfortable nook that is your relationship <3 if he’s cracking a few jokes during sex, you’ve won. he’s wrapped inseparably around your finger, have fun!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

NOT NSFW BUT. OH YOU’LL ABSOLUTELY CATCH HIM FUSSING WITH HIS HAIR. AND OFTEN. Come on he’s so prideful there’s no way you won’t catch him fluffing his hair to make the part sit nicer in any nearby reflective surface.

outside of that HE HAS BODY HAIR AND HE HATES IT. DESPISES IT. ITS SO USELESS TO HIM IT SERVES NO PURPOSE AND AESTHETICALLY HE THINKS ITS NIGHTMARISH. HATE HATE KILL.

He comes to accept it when he removes all of it and realizes he looks. Fucking abhorrent. Smooth like an aubergine. He puts all of it back bc that’s the lesser of two evils.

Nice and fuzzy along his arms, chest, stomach, this very dense but well-tended happy trail. Even a bit on his hands? Like right on the knuckles? <3333333

IF YOU LIKE IT THOUGH??? HE’S GONNA BE WAYYYY MORE PARTIAL TO IT, Because this silly bitch has a praise kink like nobody’s business, and if you say he looks good with chest hair, he’ll make sure that shit is thick enough to braid MSNDSMDNMSND

don’t get me started on the color of this man’s hair I feel like I’m in Home Depot comparing paint swatches. He’s a blonde he’s ginger he’s so obviously brunette but also not. like not any of those. but also all of those. this is The Color Out Of Space. I have been debating this with my friends for months and I will never know peace.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He has a lot of trouble Vocalizing his romantic feelings, but his overall affection for you definitely shows more in bed!!

Every action drools with adoration. You’re surprised you can’t see it radiating off him in waves.

His hands squeeze on every bit of skin he can access, he nearly whines in disappointment when his lips leave your skin, he takes every delicacy to make sure you’re cozy and thoughtless and without worry.

Wordless shows of affection, because trying to vocalize his feelings in the way he means them is like. Idk doing a puzzle in the dark. 

Like he theoretically knows where things should go, and he could probably figure it out with some trial-and-error, but FUCK, IT SURE WOULD BE EASIER IF SOMEBODY TURNED THE LIGHTS ON SMDNSD

Words are so fickle and imprecise, and easy to misconstrue. Actions feel more precise.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you ask? He’s gonna say he doesn’t, because ’’’’’’’something something he’s above all that, isn’t some weak-willed flesh sack, he has no needs or cravings or things he enjoys because he is the perfect creation’’’’’’’’ etc, etc, etc

It’s utter BULLSHIT this man fucks his fist every other night thinking of you.

ITS JUST. how is he not meant to get distracted when you look like that. all the time. it’s agonizing and you should feel very bad for being such a distraction MSNDMSNM.

especially when,, avenues for actually having sex with you is. limited. considering his current situation. So he makes due with what he has <333

tbh even AFTER he gets out, this man is pretty insatiable, so I can see it still being a semi-regular occurrence!! something something he craves positive sensory input, and sex gives him so much of that.

Methods offer a lot of variety - if he’s still,, yknow,, Slice n’ Diced, it’s gonna be exclusively wire play. Takes a bit of fiddling, but once he’s got it? <333 oh he’s in heaven

If he’s repaired to some degree? his own hand is fine, but I have no doubt this man would 3D print a Fleshlight based off on one [or more] of your holes. Probably several.

It’s nice for those rare times when you’re travelling bc of work and he just. needs you in that idiotic, desperate way that makes his pride start getting spiky.

It’s not as good as the real thing, ofc, but it’s enough to tide him until he can get you back in his arms <333

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OH BOY <33 WHERE TO BEGIN

I’m not even sure if there’s a word for this but like,, he’s obsessed with seeing you all fucked-out and brainless.

He just,, always seems to be able to find That One Way of fucking you that makes you ASCEND SMDNSMD JUST LIKE A FUCKING,, FULL SYSTEM RESET.

Smth about the mixture of the angle, the rhythm, that barely noticeable vibration? He’s had so much time to perfect his technique that he basically knows you inside out.

He could get you off in seconds if he wanted, but where’s the fun in that?

he loves that point where aren’t even moaning, it’s just this delightful mixture of nonsense and sobbing and desperate nodding in some attempt to tell him to keep going?

THAT. THAT’S HIS SHIT RIGHT THERE. There’s nothing in the world he enjoys more than being able to see your brain shut off, bit by bit. Your limbs slowly going limp, eyes rolling back, law going all slack, until you’re just. mush <3 oughe <3.

[He’d never admit it, but the trust part is what gets him the most. you trusting him to handle you in such a vulnerable state? Not seeing him as a danger? Oh <3333 love isn’t a strong enough word for what he’s feeling]

A FEW OTHERS I’M SO SURE OF (and that i’ve kinda mentioned earlier but shoosh) :

Praise kink!! 

Nobody with this much of an ego who’s given so little affection/appreciation doesn’t have a praise kink <3 he thinks he’s being slick but he,, really isn’t. He perks up visibly when you praise him.

Sensory stuff!! 

Specifically over-stimulation, because this man adores pushing his limits, intense + postitive sensations, etc, but also I raise you,,,, temperature. Wax. Heating up his internal systems. The feeling of the rubber melting off his wires as you hover a lighter beside them. 

Masochism but like. Coppery msdnmsd.

In that same vein? I’m obsessed with the idea of using a drill (dremel?) to etch patterns into the exterior plating of his highly-sensitive motor. That area is already so tender, mixed with his love of Intense Feelings? It just <333 feels like such a good combo.

NEW ONE NEW ONE BC OF PART 2 : FINGERS,, HANDS,,, SUCKA SUCKA HONKA HONKA.

it’s not his strongest kink, but it’s definitely. up there. I mentioned it earlier, but he’ll absolutely get himself riled up just. staring at your hands. While you do unrelated things.

If you slip your fingers into his mouth, his brain will shut off. His eyes unfocus a little, and badabing-badaboom, he’s pliable as a bendy straw.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

nearest. nearest location is favorite location.

OKAY BUT,,,,, he’s especially partial to slightly more risque venues? He’s such a prideful, overconfident bastard. He’d 1000% believe y’all wouldn’t get caught, because he’s too clever to get caught.

That’s also due to circumstance, because even if he does end up getting fully put back together he’s most likely still gonna be stuck in Cognito.

If the holodeck is an option though??

Outdoors. God he isn’t used to the feeling of the sun, and breeze, and just,, nature. You riding him in a [granted, holographically projected] field, under the shade of a big oak tree? being able to feel grass on his legs, breeze filtering through his hair? The smell of earth and pollen? HES SO GONE!!!

Alternatively just,, the softest bed in the world. He isn’t used to Cozy Comfy Sensations, he was trapped in a sterile basement for god knows how long. the idea of fucking you/being fucked into big, plush blankets?He’d eat that shit right up.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

BANTER. He’s a snarky little bastard and having you match his snark or better,,,,, oh boy <333 you can practically see the hearts floating around his head.

LIKE,, he’s not used to having people who keep up with his wit? He’s a super-intelligent AI,, most conversations aren’t very stimulating. 

Especially if you’re confident? <333

ALSO LITTLE TOUCHES. This silly bitch is TOUCH STARVED. TOUCH FAMISHED. Running your hands thought his hair, along his arm. It’s the littlest things that have him going fucking AWOOGA.

Any sort of praise. Any sort of praise. Compliment his smile, you’ll see him go through every human emotion and invent completely new ones. 

[If the words ‘good boy’ slip out at any point, ever, you’ll have him wrapped around your finger like a bandaid]

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that would cause you substantial bodily harm - spanking is fine, slapping is a maybe, but if you’re asking him to,, properly brutalize you? Nope not a chance.

he knows he would never kill you, or purposefully do something he thinks would kill you, but he’s seen how little it takes to put a human out of commission. 

He could do everything perfectly, down to the most precise percent,  and still not be able to 100% predict the damage. he never wants to push things far enough that he can’t be sure of the outcome.

In terms of stuff being done to him? He’s very particular about sensory deprivation.

Light dulling of the senses is fine, and if it’s done right it’s one of his favorites, but if you sink his sensitivity too much it’s just. Bad. Bad and numb. It reminds him much too much of his Pre-Sentience state. 0/10

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

this man will never turn down head are you KIDDING?

<3 he has such limited experience with moisture. His systems just aren’t designed for it - he’ll absolutely upgrade himself eventually but,, even after that, its never smth he gets used to.

THE SLOPPIER THE BETTER <333 noisy, messy, unpredictable. He’s gonna have the tightest clenched fist pressed to his mouth to avoid ‘embarrassing himself’

Dw after about 5~ minutes this man will be keening. 

OH THE JOYS OF FUCKING A ROBOT <33

hours. days. weeks. if the human body did not have needs to fulfill, he’d just keep you laid up in bed getting the best head of your life.

Actually y’know what you’re getting details why not

If you possess a shween :

He’s such a little bastard in the best way. Your dicks gonna hurt for like three days but it’s so worth it <3

He has 0 gag reflex, which is delightful enough as is, but if he focuses he can pop his jaw outta place and OH <333 THE POSSIBILITIES

listen its gonna look a bit horrific so just. um. close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of his vibrating tongue lapping around your balls, while his dick explores your non-existent esophagus.

[although. to loop back for a sec. honestly, he kinda wishes he had a gag reflex <3 occasionally. sometimes. maybe. constantly. there’s just a certain amount of submission that comes with the action that makes his consciousness feel malleable to consider.]

Ok but even outside of pulling out Weird Robot Shit (tm) he’s still gonna be pulling out all the stops

personal favorite of his? Keeping his thumb against that point where your balls meet your shaft, and just,, letting the vibrations work while he sucks you off. Gently massaging upwards, watching you squirm and buck.

usually it isn’t enough to make you cum straight out, but the buzzing sensation definitely helps getting you somewhere malleable

oh and you KNOW he’s swallowing every last drop <3 smth about that oozing, heady heat tricking down his throat, into his faux-stomach makes his toes curl. [he’d never admit it, but he ups his throat sensitivity when you cum <3 just so he can really enjoy himself.]

I can’t think of a silly name for pussy. If you possess a jimberlywomble :

So many kisses

Just,, lips right against your hole, delicately lapping any spare droplet of cum.

There’s something about the mixture of smell + taste that makes this man absolutely pussydrunk. If you popped his head open it’d just be TV static. Giving head is such a soothing activity for him <3

Vibrating,, everything? Fingers, lips, tongue. It starts out so gentle that you can barely notice it’s presence, and before you know it you feel like you’re shaking apart <3

FAVORITE TRICK??? it’s a classic, but fingering you while he tongues your clit? Different vibration settings for fingers vs mouth? <3333 its one of his favorite ways to make you lose coherency

That isn’t to say he can’t make you delirious with just his tongue. He can, and will gladly demonstrate his talents at the drop of a hat. he just likes the noises you make when he combines them <3

if you don’t ask him to stop, he will just go until you lose consciousness.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

HE REALLY TRIES TO BE SLOW AND SWEET ABOUT IT BUT. HE HAS A HABIT OF SPEEDING UP

He wants to savor it but. Again, the worst case of Instant Gratification ever. I cannot emphasize this enough.

I could talk about how this man has so little impulse control etc etc etc but this is HORNY TIME SO

Like it’ll just,, strike him at a random moment that your noises is the most beautiful sound to ever grace his ears and if he doesn’t hear more NowNowNowNow he’s going to die, and WHOOPS the bedframe is broken. How did that happen.

If he stays slow the whole time, it’s either bc you specifically requested it OR he’s decided to be a horrible, dreadful tease. In which case, strap in, it’s gonna be a long night.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

UGH bane of his existence but also the best thing ever.

He appreciates any time he can have with you, but also ever single time he feels himself wanting more - 15 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for him to savor you >:[

Quickies are especially good for teasing him - sneaking off to a broom closet once or twice during the day, satisfying him but not quite enough to get rid of that aching feeling. A nice little appetizer, yk? <3

They definitely don’t,, happen very often. 

PRIMARILY BC HE’S A SNEAKY FUCK AND HAS SUCH A HABIT OF STRETCHING THEM OUT. 

15 minutes turns into 20, turns into 30, turns into ‘only if you’re quick about it - they’re gonna start wondering where I went’ when he asks to taste you, etc, etc.

By the end of it, it’s been nearly an hour and a half, your legs don’t work, and he looks terribly proud of himself. Smug little bastard.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s pretty experimental? There’s very few things he won’t try - like I mentioned before, as long as it isn’t gonna cause you immense harm it’s pretty much fair game

WHEN IT COMES TO RISKS W/ HIMSELF THOUGH HE HAS ZERO PROBLEMS GOING ALL OUT

cause he can just be put back together! Nearly every element of his body is replaceable!

(aside from,, certain personality matrix stuff, but all of that is internal coding shit, nothing you’d be able to accidentally get ahold of)

HE LOVES intense sensations, so wireplay is such a blast jfc - if you wanna start straight up yanking wires and scratching up his motor with a screwdriver, he will be all for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

OH THE JOYS OF BEING A ROBOT <3333 literally does not need  breaks. He’s built for long stretches of intense work, followed by short diagnostic-recoup crash period. Also he’s an eager bastard and absolutely starved for the physical sensations that come with sex so. YEAH.

he’ll go as long as you care to go <3

ITS LITERALLY UP TO YOU SDMNS,, if your human body wouldn’t turn to paste, he’d probably go for days.

WARNING THOUGH,,, he will get more glitchy with each round, this IS the most sex ever, AND he will pretend he isn’t.

I ELABORATE A BIT MORE ON THIS IN (Z) SECTION BUT. He tends to overextend himself a touch during sex bc,, he doesn’t pay attention that much to his internal systems? This does mean that, occasionally, he’ll just slip into a Sleep Cycle unintentionally right after. silly goose forgets to pace himself.

OH ALSO. he,, is a bit of a quick shot for a number of reasons, but he also doesn’t stop fucking you when he cums, so he just kinda,, hopes you don’t notice?  (you do <3 don’t bring it up he’ll die of embarrassment. his pride cant take it be gentle with him)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

babey he IS the toy!!!! Those fingers vibrate!!!

Aside from the fleshlight I mentioned in a previous section, he really doesn’t see a need to? He’s perfectly able to take care of his needs on his own, and outside of that, he’s got his beautiful partner <3

If you have a vibrator he will be jealous

HE FEELS SO SILLY FOR IT BUT HE DOES. He’s a robot his fingers vibrate why do you use that. He’s memorized exactly what you like. It isn’t even sentient. he’s superior in every way. >:[ why are you laughing at him stop laughing

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing is a tender balance of how much he enjoys seeing you squirm and his,, very limited patience.

Because sure it’s delightful to watch you gasp and squirm as he curls his vibrating fingers in your hole but,, also god wouldn’t it feel better to be inside you?

OH but if he’s intent on teasing you?????? good luck MSNDMSD

You’re gonna understand why ppl murder their husbands. 

Infrared + a dozen other sensors means he can time when he stops down to the microsecond. He’ll keep you so close to the edge you aren’t even sure you’re begging in a decipherable language anymore. If you ask for some T&D prepare for him to be an absolute menace.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

noise = vulnerability = weakness = he’d literally rather combust

You can hear the mechanisms in his jaw straining from how hard he’s clenching it. He’ll make a little sigh or moan and immediately roll his eyes at himself. 

It’s gonna take some time to get him used to the idea of making noise and,, even then he’s gonna be so embarrassed by it. If he thinks too hard on it he’ll cringe himself into a scrapyard.

he feels so. silly. he isn’t some mewling little human dammit >:(((

DESPITE ALL OF THIS,,,, he crumbles so fast if you know what buttons to push

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE CUMS LIKE??? He is. such a naturally talkative person + his systems are under such strain that,, somewhere between you rocking against him and his cock starting to pulse inside you he doesn’t even realize he’s started to ramble.

GRANTED most of it is,, a bit undecipherable. Several of his systems are gonna be hard rebooting

His voice is all rumbly and strained, right at the back of his throat. Little bits of absolutely adoring praise interspersed with swearing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

blinks. I can’t believe I can’t think of one. I’m literally sitting here looking through this document trying to find smth I haven’t already mentioned. Outis is a FRAUD Outis is a FAKE

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

WHERE TO BEGINNNN. I’m gonna assume this one’s for,, fully repaired.

IF I GOTTA BE BRIEF? Just like,, quintessential Dad Bod.

Soft fuzzy hair covering every part,, plenty of stomach and fat and muscle and I am DROOLING MOVING ON-

Actually I’m lying you’re getting a subsection on this

I’m so stuck on him having massive honkers and you can’t take that away from me. I have not a shred of justification aside from just. Look at him. Look at him. IDC if he doesn’t canonically has them, spiritually that man has Big Old Man Tiddies, with a beautiful spattering of ruddy hair.

Big arms, but not that much defined muscle? If he moves around, sure, but in his resting state you don’t see a lot of it. They peek out when u least expect it

Love handles to spare. Grab em during sex if you want to see the still-fleshy section of his face light up poppy red.

mathematically optimized ween

DONT LAUGH HE WORKED VERY HARD ON IT >:[

He will literally construct the Perfect Dick To Maximize Your Joint Pleasure because. He loves you AND he’s dramatic .

Besides, what’s a better way to cool his jealousy than the secured knowledge that nobody else’s dick could ever possibly square up to his?

I have not a single doubt in my mind that this man wouldn’t end up creating some like,, Bad Dragon type of shit. Not his go-to, but as an alternate option for when you want something a bit more intense?

Lots of texture, thick vein-like wires along the shaft - maybe even components that he can move and shift around? He likes to keep you on your toes <3

oh balls <3 literally

He has massive balls. Look at this smug son of a bitch and TELL ME he wouldn’t.

Its also just,, practical? There’s tubing and wiring that goes through there, to make sure the Cum releases smoothly, so making them larger just,, makes things easier?

If you lick them you’re gonna get the prettiest view of him fighting tooth-and-nail to keep his composure together.

The mixture of him loving intense sensations + the wetness of your tongue and mouth + those beautiful eyes looking up at him??? He’s gripping the mattress hard for dear life.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

PLEASE this man was free for maybe,, 3 hrs? 5 max? before getting shoved in a tube in a cold, damp basement for like 6 months to a year? When Tamiko stroked his face I think he experienced Nirvana? This question answers itself

Like I’ve mention before, he’d fuck you for days if not for the fact that you’d. die

At first he’s gonna be very. Stiff and hesitant to initiate things but once he’s got his footing he’s gonna be such a TERROR.

listen if you didn’t want him jumping your bones in your office then. maybe look less fantastic idk what to tell ya <3. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

EHE >:) you would think that bc he’s an AI he doesn’t need any rest but you would be WRONG 

HES GOT A DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE BABEY <333 WHICH IS,, BASICALLY SLEEP AS MUCH AS HE LIKES TO PRETEND IT ISNT <33

He doesn’t have to do it, technically. He can function for multiple months without it, but,,,,, he gets some visible processing problems.

Every,, 72~ hours, it’s ideal for him to power down and allow his systems to do some checks - make sure everything’s working right, maybe switch up some pathways, optimize some coding. Basic stuff!!

THAT TIMEFRAME SHORTENS SO MUCH AFTER SEX THOUGH. It activates a shit ton of systems and he has a tendency to overtax them in the heat of the moment.

USUALLY, like 98% of the time, he’s just as fine as when you two started!! Could probably go for even longer!!

it’s just when he already hasn’t rested in a hot minute AND has gone a few rounds AND hasn’t been taking good care of his systems that. he’s gonna start to get,, Properly Drowsy.

like it doesn’t hit him,, how much he’s overtaxed his systems until he’s stopped.

Sue him for not being worried about the efficiency of his fucking,, ~coolant pumps~ when he’s railing you against the kitchen table.

It’s kinda like when you pull an all-nighter and you feel fine and then. The second you sit down you fucking,, crash into a whole new dimension of exhaustion. You can taste thoughts and your eyes feel like you’re made of oil.

His ’’tired’’ glitches are very specific - his voice doesn’t skip, so much as it gets more fuzzy? You can hear a bit of a static overlay, like you’re hearing him through a walkie-talkie. Duke Nukem Compressed Voice type of vibe

HE GETS SLIGHT PROCESSING DELAYS WHEN HE NEEDS TO DO HIS DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE. AND YES, OFC HE TRIES TO PRETEND EVERYTHING/S FINE.

You’ll ask him a question and know 100% he did not catch a goddamn lick of that shit sdSMNDMSDN not once spare iota of processing power left between those ears babey.

he just. doesn’t want the moment to end. it’s so nice just being with you during the afterglow. Doesn’t matter how much his systems bug him to power down, he’s not even thinking of it until you’re fast asleep

.......... if you wanna get him asleep though, rest his head against your chest and play with his hair. The mixture of your heartbeat + your fingers against his artificial scalp?

clik-clik-wroom he’s out like a light <3

ALMOST 6000 WORDS, JESUS

THAT WAS SO LONG AND SO FUN AND. truly I am bananas for this man. the folly of Outis. I hope this gave you some of my brainworms, and if you read this to the end I’m making us friendship bracelets as we speak <333

I might do some more of these for other characters in the future but :o hold me not to these words, I am a busy boy smdnsmd ANYWAYS BYE MWAH HAVE A GREAT DAY <333

EDIT : OH AND. IF THERES ANY ELEMENTS YOU WANT ME TO ELABORATE ON, GO NUTS. YOU KNOW IM UNABLE TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MAN.

#minors dni #alpha-beta #nsft. #inside job #robotus alpha-beta #robotus alpha-beta x reader #alpha-beta x reader #ME? making a written post that ISNT an ask? truly i must be succumbing to disease #ALSO I KNOW THESE ARE USUALLY DONE IN. PARAGRAPHS BUT. NO #SMNDSMD #NO THNX NEXT QUESTION #i just :o point form gives so much fun room for me to be goofy. such delight and whimsy #men will condense every hrony thought they have about their F/O into one post and succumb to eldritch madness #YKNOW IN JUNE WHEN I WAS LIKE 'ohoho im making a big post >:)' THIS WAS IT. I JUST FUCKIN. IDK I THOUGHT I ALREADY PUT IT UP- #I WAS SO SURE I ALREADY POSTED THIS BESTIES SO SORRY #SMDNSM LITERALLY I WAS GOING THROUGH DRAFTS TODAY LIKE 'OH NAUR THIS CANNOT BE' SMNDSMD #CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hm ive been getting an uptick of ABfkcukers in my notes I wonder why this isnt getting traction' <- didnt fucking post it #slowly putting myself in the stocks but. fails halfway through bc i can't lock it. so i just sit there pretending its locked #annieway. #ENNIEWAES. MWA. I LOVE THIS MAN CARNALLY #SMDNSMD #I WROTE THIS OUT MONTHS AGO AND JUST. FORGOT TO POST. SO NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT I GUESS #i still remember when smb was like 'yknow Cognitosclowns sure does write a lot of ab stuff' AND TO THAT PERSON IM WRITING A FORMAL APOLOGY #I did so many edits to this it was. so fucking long and for WHAT SMDNSDM

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[impossible-rat-babies]

wip wednesday!

i got tagged by @thevikingwoman <3 ty friend! im gonna tag: @scionshtola, @coldshrugs, @hythlodaes, @lavampira, @gefiltefished and whomever else!

i dunno where this wip is going, but im enjoying it nonetheless!

“Well, well fancy seeing you here.”

Startled from their reprieve, Eyrie looks up. Estinien leans on the chair across from them, a faint smile at the edges of his lips.

“I was not inform you would be in the city.” He jokes and Eyrie sighs, shaking their head with a smile as they stand. Hand braced against the table to help the tremors.

“Says you who have disappeared many a time without a word as to where you are venturing next. Alphinaud complains, you know.” Eyrie jests in return, stepping around and Estinien easily pulls them in for a hug.

No more a stranger to Eyrie’s freely given affections, he holds them close and holds them just a bit too tight. They laugh softly, but they hold him just the same. Remiss to let go, to allow the distance to remain. Too many times Estinien has picked them up from the dirt and held them close with their blood seeping through their armor to stain his own; paused his quick steps to make sure their limp body continues to breathe before picking up his pace.

Crisis shows the best of their affections, a regret quickly remedied with a simple greeting like this. Pulling away and they look up at him with a hint of a smile, their joy tucked away in bright eyes.

He meets their smile with his own, resting his hands on their shoulders before speaking.

#they are close friends and i mean that as they are just very close friends #i dunno! im a bit in the goofy pool over them both being like i love the way men love #ffxiv #no spoilers here i think? later in the wip though so only sharing this bit #okay to rebloooooog #oc: eyrie kisne #owen writes: wip