#im putting all of this under wraps because not everyone wants to look at religion stuff but i feel like i had to drop it somewhere

[star-girl69]

Ultraviolence

Natalie Scatorccio x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: im backk!!!! ty all sm for your patience and i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: animal death, mentions of starvation, swearing, near death experience, mentions of hypothermia, minor injury, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twenty Six - Savior

Chapter Twenty Five - Savior

—-

1996-

“I still think you’re stupid for doing this,” you whisper.

Natalie shoots you a bored look, mostly because e you’ve been telling her this for the past hour, trying to get her- and everyone else- to realize this is stupid and pointless.

“I know,” she says, adjusting a seatbelt from the plane that’s wrapped around her.

“Then don’t do it,” you say, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re letting them get to you. They’re just scared and lonely, so they’ve made up this whole weird religion for comfort. Let them have it, Natalie.”

She doesn’t answer, and you sigh, shaking your head and sitting down on the bench next to her.

Misty clears her throat.

“Ahem. Okay, so one-on-one means no assistance of any kind. If you get a kill, just leave it where it is and we will come and help you bring it back.” She talks so happily and nonchalant, like this is the most normal thing in the world. Pitting two teenage girls against each other in an already dangerous place. “You yourself have to be back before sundown, or you’re automatically disqualified. If you’re not back by then, we’ll come out, and we’ll find you.”

Misty smiles so brightly you almost think she’s talking about puppies.

“Oh, and for weapons…” she trails off, heading towards the rifle leaning against the wall. “We only have one gun. So, um, maybe you can draw cards-”

“Lottie doesn’t need a gun.” Mari speaks with such conviction you find yourself believing her too.

You look up at Natalie, and she looks at you, seemingly just as fucking confused and weirded-out as you are-

“Okay,” Misty shrugs, and Nat takes the gun from her. She slings it over her shoulder, and when you think of her, this is what you picture. Natalie with her headband, brown roots, rifle hanging on her shoulder.

Outside is just as cold as you expected it to be, and you watch as she puts on her mask like she always does, pulls up her hood, so all you can see is the soft curve of her grown-out bangs and her eyes.

She looks at you, almost expecting you to say something, but this entire useless thing makes you feel sick. You’ve already said all that you have to say.

Nat has been so against Lottie and her new rituals ever since Doomcoming.

Ever since they tried to kill Travis. Ever since Javi went missing.

Ever since Lottie said that soon, everyone will see it like you do.

Maybe she’s just worried you’ll get hurt, but in the wilderness- that becomes second nature. Worrying for yourself. For her. For everyone in the cabin.

She pulls down her mask after a moment.

“Will you just say something?”

You stare back at her with blank eyes.

“Good luck,” you offer, and she scoffs, staring at you, and you can’t look away from her. You step forward, a little tentative, feeling a little stupid. “Don’t die,” you whisper, and she smiles slightly, muttering, before suddenly you’re hugging her.

It’s short, and it only even happened because the two of you have been through so much together there are just parts of you that are the same. And even when you’re both mad like this, even when you both want different things, like magnets… you come back.

When you let go, she’s gone back to being bitter about the whole world, looking at Lottie over her shoulder.

She spares you one more glance before she disappears into the trees, snow crunching under her feet.

—-

You thought that the window would be the easiest place to be. Waiting for her to come back, but you felt stuck looking out the window. There was nothing to see. No one was returning, and there was only the same snow and trees you had seen for so long.

All of you were trapped in this place. The wilderness, you were stuck- for at least the winter.

And Natalie was stuck in a loop. Letting everyone bother her, letting them and their weird new religion sink under her skin. She had an anger inside of her that had been there for so long you doubt she even recognized it. And you were stuck in that loop too- watching her.

Everyone had turned to doing their own things, menial chores, waiting, daydreaming of food. You sat at the table and closed your eyes.

“There’s that dripping again.”

You open one eye to find Mari looking around the cabin for the non-existent dripping noise she’s been hearing.

“Did no one hear that?” she looks around the room, but the girls say silent. You risk a small glance up to the ceiling, but all you see is wood. Normal, dry wood. “I’m gonna go find out where it’s coming from,” she sighs, and you close your eyes again, listening faintly to Mari and Akilah talk about looking together, taking the SATs.

Every reminder of the life that’s waiting back for you feels like a punch to the stomach. Quizzes, tests, college… everything is passing you by while you’re all stuck here. Arguing like the teenagers you can’t afford to be anymore. Not here. Not in the wilderness.

And then, besides for Misty and Crystals soft talking, the cabin is silent. Mari and Akilah give up on searching. And everyone just waits.

Life, you’ve grown to realize, is just a series of hungers.

First it was to succeed, to be the best in school. Then it was Natalie, wanting her, everything you feel for her. And now it’s food.

And maybe it will end. But for now, your stomach twists and turns.

—-

Natalie slams open the door, breathing heavily, no game to be seen- but you stand up and smile just at the sight of her. Maybe she can let all of this go. Maybe all of you can.

“I found a fucking moose,” she pants.

Your mouth waters, and you walk over to her, your hands out apprehensively. She smiles so brightly at you it’s like all the hunger has fallen away, grabbing your hands and squeezing hard.

She stares into your eyes, looking over your face. and her smile grows just as your own makes it way onto your face.

“Wait…” Travis says. “Found? But didn’t kill?”

She looks away from you.

“No, no, it’s dead. It’s frozen in the surface of the lake,” she breathes. “I’m gonna need a lot of help to get it out of there.”

Everyone starts rushing around, grabbing shoes and jackets, ropes and whatever else to get food.

You almost let out a squeal when it sinks in.

You think back to that night. The sounds. The antlers. The feeling of being full, how good and right it all felt-

None of you will ever have to do that again if you can just survive this winter. And you’ll need that moose to do it.

“Hey, I thought the rule was no assistance,” Mari says, and Coach’s crutches bang against the floor as he walks over.

“Oh, my God, Mari, this is food.”

“If we can get this out, this moose will probably last us the rest of winter,” Natalie says, nodding.

Your eyes meet hers again.

“You did it,” you whisper, thinking of food, “God, Nat, you did it.”

“You ever doubted me?” she smiles.

“Misty,” Mari says as the other girl walks past, wrapped up tight, carrying an axe. “You literally made the rules. I’ll tell Lottie,” she says. accusingly, like Lottie could somehow bring down the wrath of the gods.

But she’s just a girl. You’re all just girls, left behind and fighting to stay alive.

“Go for it,” Misty says back. “Tell her I didn’t want us to fucking starve!”

And after grabbing your jacket, slipping on your boots, all of you file out the door, axes and ropes in hand, towards the lake. The moose. Towards the end of the hunger.

—-

It’s colder out on the lake. And even through the snow, you can’t help but feel like you’re constantly on the verge of slipping.

The sound of axes and hammers banging against the ice has turned into a small symphony, a little concert, and you pace around, trying to keep warm- knowing that too many people gathered around that one spot of ice won’t do any good.

Finally, it stops, and you can hear the sounds of ice splashing against water.

“We’re through,” Travis shouts, and Natalie hits the ice a few more times, as Misty and Crystal tie the rope around the antlers.

You watch as they tie it as tight as they can, but you can see the glazed over eyes of the moose, like a little tiny planet.

“Tie another knot,” you whisper, walking behind them, and Misty looks up and you before she looks back down towards the tied up antlers. She adds another knot.

Everyone is frantic and hungry, and finally, after more hitting, the ice breaking and breaking, Natalie shouts for everyone to grab the rope.

You look up towards the sky, then back down towards the antlers.

The rope is light in your hands, fraying, thin, but it will hold. That’s what everyone is whispering, that this will all work out, and you’ll get this moose, and you won’t be hungry anymore.

Finally, the moose slips free from the thick ice, falling down into the water, and the weight comes quickly.

Your arms burn, and everyone is shouting, and all you can think about is how much you stomach hurts.

Your feet dig into the snow, past it, until the soles of your converse are resting against slick ice.

But for a moment, it’s working. You’re lifting up the moose.

Misty is the first to fall.

Then, everyone else falters, and suddenly the rope is sliding out of your hands, and you gasp and pull away, falling down to press your burning hands into the snow.

A splash hits the water.

You hiss to yourself, looking at your hands, red from the rough rope, until you look up.

“Natalie!” you screech, throwing yourself forward and grabbing onto her, anything you can reach, frantic and sick because she’s all you have in the wilderness.

You told her you would die with her. But you won’t watch her die.

You’re not sure how it happens, but you manage to grab onto some part of her, frozen tears running down your face, and drag her up out of the water.

It’s takes a moment for the fear in your body to fall away. For your stomach to leap out of your throat, for your heart to beat a little less strongly.

And you realize she’s crying. Saying we needed it. We needed it.

And you have nothing to say to her. No comfort. No kind words. You can’t fix this, or even offer a solution.

There’s never anything you can do about the important things.

—-

“Your hair’s all messed up,” you whisper, grabbing a small strand and gently picking apart a knot half-formed at the bottom.

You can’t make that moose come back. You can’t make her feel any less guilty, but you can sit at the edge of the tub and get the knots out of her hair.

She doesn’t say anything, and you don’t expect her to, watching as she stares blankly in front of her.

You place your hand to her forehead, and she’s warmer now, not quite that startling ice cold she was when you had first helped her into the tub. You don’t say anything about the fact that she’s warming up. You know it will only hurt to hear it, knowing that she is warm, while that moose is freezing at the bottom of the lake. Frozen food that you can’t eat.

You sigh, and let your hand fall down to the lukewarm water.

“I’ll let you change,” you whisper, your hands curling around the edge of the tub, before you take a breath and stand up. When she speaks, you don’t turn around. Don’t even look at her in the reflection of the window.

“I wanted to do it for you,” she says. “You know? I… I just- just wanted you to be okay. I wanted to, like, save you… in some fucked up way, I guess.”

She laughs to herself, and you can’t do anything but make your way around the tub to the door, your footsteps creaking across the old floor boards.

You look over your shoulder, and after a moment, she looks up at you.

“You’ve already saved me, Natalie. You’ve already saved all of us.”

She scoffs.

“You dragged me out of the plane. You fed us during the summer. You saved Travis at Doomcoming.” She doesn’t say anything, going back to staring forward again, blankly. “Nat, I… I know what you’ve done for us.”

You think back to the lake, the sound of the splashing water, the feeling of something slipping away like that.

“I think you’re a pretty great savior.”

—-

taglist:

@sweetdayme4427 @dreaming-for-an-escape @peachydoki @happysparklingshadows @zhivaxo @maraudeerrs @karsonromanoff @onlyangel-444 @subastronaut

everything taglist:

@emilynissangtr

#yellowjackets x reader #natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader

[charmspoint]

The older I get the more complex the relationship between me and god and religion becomes.

I was raised christian but my parents were never overly religious, my dad doesn't seem to care one way or another and my mom mostly seems to care in terms of 'we should be doing this' rather than 'i want us to do this'. I did all the religious kids things I was supposed to do until i was done with them in high school and then i only went to church twice a year when my mom insisted we should go, after covid started not even that. And I grew up like, a street away from the church, with nuns as my neighbors, playing on their grounds on the regular. They were all normal people so existence of extreme christianity did catch me a bit off guard, like how some people believe that evolution doesn't exist. I remember asking one of the nuns 'How come God created the earth if big bang happened' and she was like 'well the God created the big bang' n i was like 'oh yes makes sense amen.'

It was so easy to take as a kid and so hard as an adult.

Someone else once compared the relationship christians have with god as the one a child has with an abusive parent and the more i think about it the more i think thats correct. Why else would you say god would hate you if you did this or that? Why else would you yell he will send you to hell if you did that or this? If you create a child are you not tasked to love it, are you not tasked with letting it come back home even if it has done wrong? If I don't love and worship god in the exact way he orders me to, he won't love me. If I don't go to church each sunday, if i don't confess my sins, if i dont pray to his name he will cast me away as something unlovable.

So, why should I love something that can't love me unless i submit to it?

Why should I respect something and guards tenderness behind gates of rituals and worship?

Why should I earn to be loved instead of just being loved?

I think of my actual parents and I think how they always said that they might not understand every choice i make or the life i choose, but they will always support be in the pursuit of my own happiness anyway.

And that is love.

Love doesn't ask for worship before giving care.

I don't know if i believe in god anymore. I know I don't really believe in life after death. As scary as it is, I believe that once you are gone you're just gone. I don't believe in heaven or hell but I believe in love and memory. After I die I hope people will read my stories and find love and sorrow in them all over again. I know my family will remember me, I believe imprints of me will be left everywhere I go, with anyone I touch. And when everyone who remembers me dies and my stories are no longer read that won't hurt because I will not be there to hurt.

I feel like there is so much emphasis on rituals and the outside in the christianity. What does it mean to live in a god honoring way? Is the lady i see praying in front of an 'pray against abortion' sign living in a god honoring way. Is living in a god honoring way going to church and following the bible and saying all the right words and then turning around and telling children they will go to hell because they love someone of the same gender. Is tell someone they are unlovable by god living in a god honoring way? Is it not more appropriate to live kindly? To take care of those around you, to help where you can, to be kind to animals and respect nature. Is that not closer to honoring god then showing up every sunday and praying to god to change something about your loved one because you do not know how to love them in the way they deserve.

I don't know. I don't feel like I believe in god enough to want to honor him anyway. I believe in love tho and it saddens me that the religion that promises to be so full of it cannot persuade me to stay because it weaves love in such a toxic way.

#lucy blabs #religion #im putting all of this under wraps because not everyone wants to look at religion stuff but i feel like i had to drop it somewhere #i dont even know how i feel #i feel like i should call myself an atheist but also dont rly care enough to do so #obligatory one of my friends is a christian <3 #not to knock down any christians im happy for people who can find comfort and safety inside their religion #just you know #i feel like religion is something that should be personal and not imposed on others #queer person voice: i dont hate religious people i just think they should keep it behind closed doors #i kid i kid

[megalony]

She’s a good girl- Part 9

I hope you’re all enjoying the amount of updates I’ve been doing for this murderer! Ben Hardy series, it is quickly one of my favourites to write at the moment. There is a lot of angst and some fluff here for you all, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @lelifesaver​​

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe, is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaning her head on her brother's shoulder, (Y/n) tightened her hand around his and wrapped her other hand around his upper arm to secure herself to his side. She was thankful that both their parents and Cora were walking quite a few paces ahead of them as they were all making their way home from sermon. It meant that (Y/n) had a chance to talk to Joe without anyone hearing and no one ever commented on her and Joe whispering to one another because it was a normal occurrence like they were always plotting something together.

"I need your help."

"Why, what's up?" Joe ducked his head down to be closer to (Y/n) so he could hear her better, knowing instantly that she was whispering so that their family didn't overhear.

Talking in whispers like this always made Joe feel like they were little kids again, plotting ways to get back at Cora whenever she did something or when they were planning out their lives and trips they wanted to take together without their annoying sister or overbearing parents.

"I have to tell you all something but I... I need you to keep the peace. They're gonna flip when I tell them."

It was now or never.

(Y/n) knew she had to tell her parents now because if she waited much longer it was going to be very clear and visible. She was four months pregnant and she was starting to show and baggy clothing wasn't going to work forever. There was also the problem of getting married, if she wanted to marry Ben without having much of a noticeable bump it had to happen very soon and they had already been talking about it but that meant her family had to know soon.

It had always been set in stone for (Y/n) that she would marry someone when she was well into her twenties or even later and it would happen in her father's church with him performing the ceremony and all her family there. It was always planned to be something out of a fairy tale, but real life was so much different. (Y/n) already knew it wasn't going to be in a church, it would be hard to find a booking at such short notice and it wouldn't feel right somehow, Ben didn't believe in God so making him stand at the alter in the home of devotion to a God he didn't believe in was cruel.

(Y/n) also knew her father was very unlikely to do the ceremony once he found who Ben was and what he was like so that was another part of her childhood crushed. But deep down (Y/n) didn't want a wedding with all the fuss, just going to a registry office was fine because she was still marrying who she wanted and it was still marriage which revolved around her religion and faith. She also didn't want a big dress or a veil or loads of flowers, she wasn't sure if she even wanted a bouquet.

Something small, plain and simple would do perfect.

"Alright, give five minutes when we get in for everyone to settle and then you can make your announcement." When Joe winked at (Y/n) just as they walked inside, she felt her heart both calming down and juddering in her chest. He had no idea what she was going to say and it would be something he wouldn't see coming for miles.

When they stepped inside, the siblings unchained themselves from each other and took off their shoes and jackets. Joe made his way straight into the living room with Cora whereas Paul headed into the dining room and Linda and (Y/n) both went into the kitchen to get some drinks.

(Y/n) could feel her heart bursting in her chest with every beat and if she were to faint right here, right now, it might be a blessing in disguise. She didn't know how on Earth she was going to do this and she knew all of the reactions she was going to get, none of which were going to be very pretty. But this was her life, this was how it was going to go and her family had to know and accept this or they couldn't be in her life anymore.

She was going to start off small and easy, tell them she was moving out and having a baby because the baby was the bombshell here. Telling them exactly who Ben was and what he did and telling them where she really worked would be an information overload for all of her family and it would be too much for her too. She had to break the news into pieces that were easier to digest.

(Y/n) downed half her glass of water in one gulp as she headed through from the kitchen into the living room with her mother in tow behind her. Her eyes scanned the room for a moment before she sat down on the sofa next to Joe which placed her between him and the armchair on her left in the bay window where she knew her father would sit. (Y/n) didn't want to be next to him. Once she told them her news it was likely he would lash out or shout like he had done when they argued before and she didn't want that.

She wanted to be as far away from him as possible when he found out because she was closer to him and his reaction would cut her to pieces and it would be taken to her heart.

Cora was sitting on the foot stool in front of the fireplace opposite the sofa where she normally sat when everyone was here at home. Leaving the other small armchair near the door for their mother to sit in, everyone had their respected seats that had been the same for years and it was automatic to sit in them, no one would change the routine now.

When their father's footsteps could be heard, (Y/n) could feel her heartbeat pulsing under every inch of skin on her body and it made her feel sick. She'd had no breakfast this morning and only a small glass of juice before going to sermon. From the moment she got up her stomach had been doing somersaults at knowing today was the day she was going to wreck her family into pieces.

This was it, this was it. She had to do this now or never, she had to do this today.

(Y/n) could feel her body coming over in a cold sweat and she had to lean forward a little to stop her chest from hurting due to her deep breaths and her rapid heart. All she wanted was to disappear but the moment she decided she would wait five or ten minutes before making her announcement, Joe steeped in thinking that she needed a little help to get her announcement started.

Her only brother nudged his elbow lightly into her side and ticked his head in a silent signal for her to speak before he motioned his hand to Cora to tell her to quiet down when her chirpy voice was about to go off on one about something no one would really care about.

"Do you want to say something, Joey?" Linda smiled, grazing her fingertips against the glass she was holding in both hands as she watched her eldest when he was trying to politely get everyone to be quiet.

"No, I think (Y/n) has something she wants to say, right?"

Deep down she was thankful Joe had gotten her started or else she knew she wouldn't have bothered trying to get everyone to be quiet, she would have just gone with the topic of conversation and deflated. (Y/n) would have lost her nerve to speak, she knew it.

"Go on honey, what do you want to tell us?" Paul sat in his usual stance, slightly slouched down in the very old armchair with his knees bent to the sides and his hands clasped together in his lap. No matter what he wore, where he was or what he said, he always gave off an aura of calmness and peace. It was clear to anyone that he was something to do with the church, he just looked like someone that you would want to confide in and tell all your sins to. He looked like someone who would have all the answers and be able to give comfort and reassurance.

But (Y/n) knew he was going to give her little comfort and reassurance today.

"I have some news to tell you... but please, just hear me out and try to understand before making a fuss, okay?" (Y/n) wrung her hands together like she was trying to ring the water out of a piece of washing and she almost jumped when Joe rested his hand over hers to try and calm her down.

"Of course, go ahead." Linda leaned forward as if to make sure she could hear (Y/n) properly but (Y/n) knew they weren't really listening. They were going to interrupt and comment and speak over her and get angry because they wouldn't be happy and this was always about them.

"Okay... I'm moving out in a few weeks, I'm going to be moving in with someone."

(Y/n) took a deep breath after speaking carefully and slowly so she didn't rush through her words and make them hard to understand. That was the first part of this over but the next part was going to be much worse. She watched the way her mother's smile completely disappeared and her jaw went slack and she saw how Cora's upper lip curled in distaste. When she looked over at her father as if for a sign of his approval, his jaw was very tightly locked and his hands were white from how hard his knuckles were pushing to the surface.

The only person who looked happy was Joe. He was smiling gently at her with an encouraging look that would disappear in a minute or two. He knew getting away from home and moving out would make (Y/n) feel more independent and it would make her more at ease and grown up. Staying at home was sometimes a good thing but in their case, the sooner they left, the better.

"Moving out? Why, you're not old enough to be on your own- who are you moving with, is it a boy?!" Linda's voice got increasingly higher pitched the more she spoke and the more she seemed to realise what (Y/n) had said.

"Just let her explain." Joe's voice was pleading with their mother to stay quiet but it was like talking to a brick wall.

"I've met someone and I'm going to move in with him because... b-because we're having a baby."

(Y/n) could feel the tears building up behind her eyes before they even fell down her features. She felt how Joe's hand tensed around her own, she heard her mother's glass slip between her fingers and bounce on the carpet at her feet. She heard Cora's shocked gasp and saw the way her features contorted into such an unattractive, angered and annoyed expression that showed she was angry only because she wasn't the first to settle down and have kids and a family of her own.

But when (Y/n) dared to look at her father, she didn't recognise the man sitting beside her anymore. He was looking right through her like he didn't recognise her and that hurt (Y/n) like a knife through her chest.

"No, you're joking. My youngest daughter is not pregnant out of marriage, you are not moving out and you are not having a baby, do you hear me? This is some cruel, sick, twisted joke!"

"Why would I lie?"

(Y/n)'s contradiction left her mother speechless but her expression was far from content. Her eyes were blazing with fire and her lips were snarling like a rabid dog about to attack. (Y/n) could see how this would go down at the church when people found out, there would be whispers about the Reverend's daughter having a quick marriage because she got pregnant at nineteen. Linda would be ashamed, she would be killing those rumours and not accepting the truth or any kind of defeat.

It wouldn't show the best example in the strict religious community that they lived in, especially when Linda was prone to boasting about her three wonderful children. Now she would only be boasting about two of her three children and she might go so far as to act like she only had one daughter instead of two.

"You're not seriously doing this? You're really gonna have a baby at nineteen when you're not even married? That won't make you look very good."

There was something in the way that Cora spoke that made (Y/n) feel like her sister was trying to guide her. Like she was trying to quietly tell (Y/n) that not having the baby would be best for her reputation and her life, as if (Y/n) had no right being a mother because it didn't fit in with their family's plans for her.

"You could always get rid of it-"

"Cora for fuck's sake shut up!"

"What? It's not the worst idea in the world, is it? Joe how is she gonna be a mother, she can hardly tie her own shoes." Cora waved her hand in (Y/n)'s direction but her eyes were focused on Joe just waiting for him to contradict her as if her words were true. But she didn't know her sister, she knew nothing of (Y/n)'s life for the past year, she didn't know how (Y/n) had changed or how she had met someone and had gotten so good at lying to them all.

"Cora that is enough. She cannot have an abortion, she may have gone against her own faith by having a child out of wedlock but I will not have my own daughter commit such a sin as murder."

Paul leaned his head onto his hand that smothered his mouth like he was trying to stop himself from saying anything worse, it clearly hurt him to talk about (Y/n) like she wasn't even there but he couldn't find it in himself to address or even look at her.

Abortion was a sin to him and to (Y/n), it was as high up as murder and (Y/n) had no quarrels with other women having abortions, she could understand their reasons. But personally, for her, it would feel too much of a sin and too much pain for her to actually do that. She didn't have the will, the heart or the lack of faith to get rid of her own child. (Y/n) would have no redemption from God if she did that.

"Well you can't keep it, you know that, don't you?" Linda's voice caused all eyes to look at her but only Joe and (Y/n) had horror and confusion in their eyes. "There is no way you can be an unmarried mother, abortion is not an option and neither is an unmarried nineteen year old mother."

"He proposed." (Y/n)'s eyes looked nowhere but at her father this time when she spoke up, controlling her voice enough to make sure it was stern and forceful rather than weak and broken.

"Excuse me?"

"He asked me to marry him and I said yes, so neither of you have any reason to worry about your daughter committing such a sin as having a baby out of wedlock. You'll just have to deal with the shame of people knowing the baby was conceived before the marriage."

(Y/n) looked down at her hands as she took a deep breath before removing the engagement ring from her right index finger and slipping it onto her wedding finger to show them all she was serious. Everyone was going to know that she was getting married because of the baby and it would be assumed that Paul was the reasoning behind the marriage. He would have to deal with the looks and the shame from their community when people found out (Y/n) was pregnant when she got married which was almost a sin in itself.

She was having this baby and she was going to be a mother, no one was going to stop her. When she was married to Ben she would be under no one's control but her own, her mother couldn't force her to give up her baby and she couldn't control her in where she went, what she did and who she saw.

The strings that held her control over (Y/n)'s life would be cut forever.

"Can we all just calm down now please? I moved out when I was eighteen to go to uni, Cora has a boyfriend and that's fine, I live with my girlfriend and we're not married. (Y/n) is miles ahead of us by wanting to get married and have a baby, why is that so wrong of her? This is what she wants, she isn't asking for your permission or to help 'make this go away'. Can't you be a tiny bit easier and happy for her?"

Joe didn't know how much good or even bad his words were going to do but he couldn't just sit and let them try and control (Y/n)'s life and act like she had come to them with a problem she needed them to solve.

She wasn't asking them to marry her off or tell her she couldn't marry her boyfriend and she wasn't asking them for solutions about the baby. (Y/n) had this planned out without them, she was only telling them because they were her family, they couldn't keep controlling and overruling her like this.

"You two leave us, we need to talk to (Y/n) on our own. Go." Paul waved his hand at Cora and Joe, pointing to the door because Joe was going to stand up for (Y/n) and Cora was going to intervene and get in the way. They needed to talk, just the three of them.

When (Y/n) nodded that she would be okay, Joe squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head, whispering a small 'congratulations' in her ear before he left the room with Cora in tow behind him. Once the door was closed behind them, (Y/n) let her eyes drift between her parents who were people she no longer recognised.

Her mother was red in the face with one hand pressed to her forehead and the other gripping the arm of the chair like she thought she was going to lose touch with the world at any second. But Paul was no longer slouching or smothering his face with his hands, he was up and standing on his feet, leaning against the mantle piece above the fireplace in such a manner that he made (Y/n) worried. He looked like he was going to change into the Devil right there in front of her and unleash a new sense of Hell onto her for what she had done.

"Are you sure this boy isn't using you, how old even is he? That internship of yours surely can't support you and this baby so he needs to step up and what if he marries you and then leaves you? Have you thought any of this through you stupid girl!"

Linda smacked her hand down on the arm of the chair to show just how angry she was but it was clear she thought (Y/n) had just been fooling around with a boy of her age who had no sense at all and was only doing what he thought was right.

"He isn't using me, why would be propose if he was only going to dump me? He's twenty-seven, he has his own business he knows what he's doing and so do I."

"Twenty-seven? Oh I'm sure he knows what he's doing love. A grown man got you pregnant and you really think this man loves you? You're even more foolish than I thought getting into bed with someone like that and ending up in this mess." Linda shook her head with a look that was almost a cynical, unbelievable smile. In her mind she could see Ben as a grown man who preyed on (Y/n), having his own business just made her think that he knew what he was doing and it seemed unlikely that he would go through with marrying her. It felt like he was telling (Y/n) what she wanted to hear but Linda didn't know Ben.

It would be worse if she knew Ben, but at least then she would know he was genuine.

"Don't think God will give you redemption for this (Y/n). All this time I thought you had faith but you don't, you've cast away your faith for the first man that came along. This is your punishment and nothing will wash away the sins you have."

Paul pointed his finger at (Y/n) as he spat his words like he was convicting her and giving her a sentence for a crime when she hadn't done anything wrong. God wasn't so cruel or strict, there were thousands of people who had sex before marriage who didn't have any repercussions or sins because it wasn't a sin. There were people who got pregnant without getting or being married and nothing bad happened to them, they didn't get a multitude of sins for it.

(Y/n) was no different, she had no sins for having sex with Ben and when she married him she would have no sins because the baby would be born from marriage. Even if they got married a day before the baby was born it would still count and that was all (Y/n) cared about.

"God isn't punishing me, can't you see that? He's punishing you. You brought me up, you made me into your protege and you controlled me when you shouldn't have. I'm not being punished because I am happy about this, he's finally making my life my own and that is your punishment."

(Y/n) stood to her feet a bit too quickly from how badly her heart was racing in her chest and it made her feel sick but she tried her best to push away the feeling before it overwhelmed her. She was finally doing this, she was standing up to her parents and telling them that her life was her own and she wanted it to go this way. She loved Ben with everything she had and she wanted to marry him and they both wanted and already loved this baby.

Her parents no longer had any control over her and they couldn't stop her form being happy and being loved.

Her words seemed to ignite something horrible in her father and she may have stepped over the line a little but she couldn't help the way she felt and how her words felt true to her. When he comprehended what she had just told him, his head turned in her direction until he was sneering at her in such a way (Y/n) was afraid of him for the first time in her life.

Never before had she been so afraid of her father, the man who was everyone's friend and confidant. The man who people talked to about their problems and seemed so loving and had such a loving wife and family. He was the family man that everyone wanted to be, no one would believe he would ever look at (Y/n) in this way when she was his little angel.

A gap escaped (Y/n)'s lips when her father's hand suddenly tangled into her hair and he pulled harshly on the roots until (Y/n) was forced to bend backwards and let her knees cave in slightly so she could stay upright. Her fearful eyes watched as he hovered over her like a murderer and in that moment, (Y/n) would have believed it was her father who had committed all of those killings instead of Ben.

Ben had never been like this with her before.

"Paul now don't-" Linda's words came upon deaf ears when both (Y/n) and her father's eyes and ears were trained on each other.

"I hope for your sake this man is true to his word because if he doesn't marry you or he uses you and then dumps you in the street, I won't have you back and there will be no resolution or forgiveness from God either. This house and the church will no longer be a home for you."

(Y/n) thought for the longest moment of her life that he was going to hit her again with the way his eyes were burning through her and melting her underneath his stare. But he didn't. He pulled on her hair until she ground her teeth and shrieked and then he pulled her away from him and let go of her hair, watching her fall back onto the sofa before she went down on her knees on the floor.

Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s features and a sob bubbled up in the back of her throat as she looked up at the man she didn't want to call her father anymore just as Joe barged back into the room upon hearing (Y/n) cry out.

Just as Joe went down on his knees beside (Y/n) and wrapped his arms around her, (Y/n) felt her heart crumbling in her chest at her father's next words.

"My daughter, the whore."

(Y/n) couldn't breathe.

He'd never said anything like that to or about her before in all her life. Her mother had called her stupid, insolent, horrid, she'd even called her a bitch at one point, but her father never called her any such name or word. He knew he would break her heart and soul by saying something like that and he did it anyway.

"(Y/n), come on get up. You're coming back with me." Joe wrapped his arms around his sister and slowly pulled up up until she was standing, fighting off his own tears when he felt how she was trembling against him like a leaf in the breeze. He wasn't letting her stay here and he didn't want her to be on her own in this state. But the moment (Y/n) was stood up she wriggled out of his arms and stumbled out of the room.

She wasn't going anywhere with any of her family.

In her haste to get out of the suffocating house (Y/n) didn't even put on her slip on shoes, she stumbled out of the house bare foot with her bag on her shoulder and her jacket dragging on the floor behind her like a shadow trailing after her.

The only place she could go in this state was down the road and into the church that she knew was no longer going to be her save haven after what her father just told her. He had practically evicted her from her own church and cast her out of her religion, but he couldn't take away her faith even if he wanted to. God had some kind of plan for (Y/n) and this was just how he was deciding to test her and all of her family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doll?"

Ben didn't like this. He'd never been one for churches at the best of times but he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually stepped inside of one. This one was seemingly bigger on the inside, the ceiling extended up for miles, the alter was never-ending and the glass windows were almost frightening.

His feet were horribly loud against the stone floor that clicked and tapped against his heels but as he got closer to the end of the church, the only other sound he could hear was someone crying that he could tell for certain was (Y/n). Ben had been expecting her to call or text him today and ask for him to pick her up and take her away from her home because he knew she was going to tell them today.

But he'd gotten the fright of his life when she called him and could barely form a coherent word. It took a while for him to drag out of her where she was so he could come get her but she sounded as if she'd been stabbed or tortured and it scared him.

The moment (Y/n) came into sight Ben couldn't breathe.

She was kneeling on the floor in front of the alter and a rather large, looming cross that made Ben shiver in distaste. If (Y/n) hadn't of been crying he might of left her there for a few minutes believing that she was praying or trying to find some solace and comfort but her cries were too hard to ignore.

Ben went down on his knees beside her, raking his eyes over her as he gently tilted her head up so she was looking at him.

(Y/n) saw the look in his eyes, he was scanning her over for injuries like he seemed to do quite a lot. Whenever she was upset or argued with her family he thought she was in danger or hurt so he checked in case she'd gotten hurt. All Ben needed was a sign and (Y/n)'s say so and he would unleash the Hell inside of him onto her family but she could never let him do that. But this time, she was on the verge of letting him.

"Baby, tell me what happened, are you alright?"

Ben wasted no time in wrapping his arms around (Y/n) and picking her up until he could sit her on his lap with one arm over her legs and his hand on her bum and the other hand wrapped around her back. He had to stop his muscles from stiffening up when he felt (Y/n) crying into his neck as she wrapped her arms around his neck, scratching her nails against the short hairs at the back of his head. He wanted to take her out to the car but he didn't know if she wanted to leave yet, she obviously came to the church for a reason and he didn't have the heart to drag her away if being here was helping her even slightly.

His lip curled in distaste when he noticed how her hair was dishevelled and she had no shoes on her feet meaning she'd walked or even run here bare foot and with how red her features were and the amount of tears streaked on her face told Ben it was bad.

It took a moment for Ben to actually understand what (Y/n) was telling him when she was hiccuping through her words that were stuttered and breathless. But when he heard her his heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. He couldn't see how her father- the reverend of all people, would practically disown her from his home and the church like that. He was supposed to help people in need and not care what their sins were because that would be judging them and it wasn't in his job to discriminate people. But he judged (Y/n) and he cast her out because she hadn't done what he wanted her to.

Ben pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head, holding her that little bit closer to his chest like he was trying to stuff her into his heart to protect her. He swayed them side to side for a few moments before hoping that she was calm enough to head home with him.

"Alright, shh. I'm taking you home baby before I'm tempted to go and shove that cross up his ass."

Ben eased (Y/n) onto the floor before he moved so he was crouching in front of her, holding her arms so he could help her up. He hated how she shook against him and buried her face in his chest to smother her cries when he wrapped his arms around her.

She didn't deserve this.

"He..." (Y/n) trailed off, shaking her head as she suddenly thought better of what she was going to say when they were halfway up the alter. But Ben stopped walking and turned to look over at her, if she wanted to tell him something she could, she didn't have to worry or be afraid like she did around her family.

"He what, doll? Did he hurt you?" Ben's free hand that wasn't around her waist suddenly cradled the side of her face and lifted her chin so he could peer down at her to make sure she had no bruises or cuts or bleeding.

The way he looked at her made her heart burst because it showed how much he cared for and loved her. If he was how her mother thought he was then he wouldn't look at her like he was going to murder someone for touching one hair on her head. He wouldn't cradle her face like he was, his eyes wouldn't burn into her own and beg for her to tell him she was okay.

"He c-called me a whore."

(Y/n) didn't know why she was telling Ben this, part of her thought it was because she knew he could hurt and threaten her father and scare him in the way he had hurt and scared her. She wanted to get even with him for what he had said, but the other part of (Y/n) wondered if she'd told Ben so she could be reassured that she wasn't what her father called her.

What if she really did go against her faith and God would punish her? (Y/n) wouldn't know how to live if she was cut off from the church and her religion, surely God would never cast out anyone? He could forgive murderers and rapists and terrorists and all other people who did wrong, he would forgive her for living her life in a slightly different way and order. Surely he would give her forgiveness or not see this as a sin.

The way Ben's face contorted into such anger and the vindictive, spiteful look in his eyes made (Y/n) shiver and shrink in on herself. She'd never seen him look so fierce and murderous before, he'd always looked calm, cheeky or composed or loving around (Y/n) and gave no signs he was who Joe always said he was. But right now, (Y/n) could see the look of a murderer in his eyes and it made her afraid for her family rather than herself.

"I'm gonna kill him."

(Y/n) couldn't be sure whether Ben meant he was going to hurt her father or if he actually meant he was going to kill him because the way he said it made it clear that Ben could and would kill him if he wanted to.

Reaching forward, (Y/n) latched her arms back around Ben's bicep to pull him back when he let go of her and tried to storm out of the church. She couldn't have him going to her home now because Joe would probably still be there and (Y/n) couldn't take any more arguments or fights today.

"No- Ben don't, please!"

Her eyes burned into his own when he turned back to look at her, cautiously moving his tense hand to cradle the side of her face and she was sure if Ben was made of butter he would have melted right then and there.

"The bastard can't say things like that to you doll and think he can get away with it! Listen to me, in my eyes you're an angel I shouldn't go anywhere near because I'll corrupt you. You're like gold dust and if he can't see that it isn't your fault. If he says anything to you or he dares to touch you again I won't be asking your permission before I rip him a new one."

(Y/n) had to see herself how Ben saw her, she was a good girl, she was far too good for him in his eyes and if no one else saw how special she was that wasn't her fault. She had to listen to Ben when he told her how special she was, not her father when he degraded her because she was her own person and Ben was going to make sure she understood just how special she was.

But if her father tried anything like that again Ben wasn't asking (Y/n)'s permission, he would go straight round there and use him as a punching bag until he was unrecognisable because that was the only way Ben knew how to get through to people who got on his bad side.

"Can we go home?" (Y/n) buried her face in Ben's chest, slowly dragging her nails down his back when he wound his arms around her.

She heard him hum in response but she couldn't see the tender smile on his face when she referred to his place as their home.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben x reader #imagine #BoRhap #joe mazzello #joe mazello imagine #murderer! ben #shes a good girl

[atlaslimbs]

March 26, 2020

    Maybe I should start using this platform for something productive. Not that my usual activity of sharing pretty things can’t be meaningful. I do believe looking at and sharing things pleasing to my eyes is something important for me to remain hopeful (especially after being flooded with all kinds of not to nice images lately.) I want to take the time to talk on here and express myself in a way that is loose and not pretty. Sort of a stream of consciousness style of journal entries. I have tried journaling regularly so many times. Every time I would try to do this style of stream of consciousness free writing with a pen and journal I would eventually give up because I would have too much to say and my hand would get tired or i would get too caught up in what my handwriting looked like as silly as that sounds. Recently I even tried this thing where as i was driving to school or work I would record myself talking out loud as a means of journaling. That didn’t work either because I wanted to refer back to them to see what I had said but could not stand to hear the sound of my own voice long enough to meditate on any of the words. So here I go bouncing it back to Tumblr typing away on my computer trying to quiet down all of these thoughts swirling through my head all of the time. I am not sure why I am not doing them in a word document that is private... I guess there is something to be said about the vulnerability of putting it all out there to where anyone could find or read these things. I would like to think I am a very open person but even as I am typing this into I feel myself wondering who is going to read this. I know a few people that I do know might read these, however the four or five friends and a couple ex lovers that have my account are ones I wouldn’t mind hearing the inside of my head anyways. 

    I guess I should set the scene here as if no one reading this knows anything about me at all so that I don’t get started from a place where I think there are already preconceived notions of myself that I must adhere to. Who knows, maybe the journal entries of a young person in 2020 might be useful one day. I sure have a lot of things to say that I feel like someone might want to listen to. My name is Sydney and I am twenty years old. I am going to be turning twenty one in April and was looking forward to having a fun outdoor party with all of the people I love there around me. For now we are going to have to celebrate from far away because of the recent stuff going on with the Corona Virus. We are being instructed to stay inside and away from people as much as possible. I feel like I will eventually get into a rant about the politics to all of this and my political beliefs in general but for now I just want to set the scene for anyone reading this. I am sitting on my porch watching cars drive by me. I cant help but think why are all these people still out? People seem to be acting like everything is okay which is just going to prolong all of this and cause more deaths in the end. God if you told me that this wasn’t fiction I wouldn’t have believed you last year. Wow last year me would be so terrified. Today me is terrified... But I am finding strength every day through managing my anxiety and trying to convince myself that I am prepared. Back to what I was saying, I am sitting on my porch listening to a playlist of my “top songs of 2019.” Each song takes me back to a certain feeling whether it be driving to school or screaming the songs out in my shower. I want to just say on record I LOVE TO SING. It is something in my life that I have always enjoyed. I have been singing more lately which feels so nice. My dad is a singer he sings in a band with some friends and they play at bars here and there locally. I just had the heart wrenching feeling of realizing that I may not be able to hear my dads band play for a very long time if ever again. I am thankful for all of the videos I have taken though that I can always refer back to if that is the case. I don’t tell many people that I love to sing because people tend to think that in order for you to love to sing you have to be good at it. Or at least people in our culture which sucks. If you think about it, all of our religions have some sort of exchange of energy with the highest power through singing. That has to mean something. When I am singing I feel like I am letting the songs feel for me instead of feeling them vulnerable all alone by myself. Even if the emotion is not one that is hard to feel it still is just so comfortable to experience it wrapped in a protective layer of a song. Some of my happiest memories are singing in the car with my dad. He never once has told me that he doesn’t like the way I sound or that I am singing too loud. I think that I really have got to start now on rebuilding a lot of the confidence that was torn away from me at a young age being around a couple of really toxic and sad family members. I remember wanting to sing along to the songs on the radio and them saying things like “Sydney we get it you know every word to the songs you don’t have to prove it” or “Sydney why are you singing so loud like you think everyone wants to hear you.” Thinking back on that and wanting to protect that small innocent version of myself I want to say to them “Have you guys never enjoyed anything in your entire life? Does anything ever FEEL GOOD to you?” I become more and more aware every day of how a lot of the time I suppressed doing things that brought me joy because I was afraid of them making fun of me for it or being “annoying.” Whoever made that word up sucks because it has been in my thoughts suppressing me ever since I was first called it. Note to self: don’t under any circumstances call someone annoying because wow that shit hurts. I want to talk about something one of my friends said but I feel like if I am going to introduce that person into the narrative I want to tell you all about her from the beginning. I wish I didn’t feel the need to be so thorough all the time but recently a friend told me that they love that quality about me so I suppose I will give myself some slack. If I were to get real deep and try to figure out why I do that I think I would have to link a lot of it back to being young and the toxic family members I mentioned before questioning everything I said to the point where I felt like I had to prove absolutely everything I said. So instead of simply being able to say “The other day someone who’s very important to me and one of my closest companions said...” my brain tells me that you aren’t going to believe how important she is to me if I don’t describe every detail of our relationship and portray it as beautifully as I have felt it so instead I have to divert and go on a tangent about that person before getting back to this story. I can see how that would annoy someone who didn’t care to know about the things I love, but luckily the silver lining to all of that is, being this way has showed me who cares enough to listen to me for hours regardless of what I am talking about. If you told that young version of Sydney who got brushed off every time she got excited about anything or told she talked too much that one day she would meet people who would make her feel like every word that was coming out of her mouth was worth listening to I don’t think she would believe you. Things like this are thoughts I have that restore every bit of hope I have in my body. Knowing that in the short time of being alive and away from my family I have found more love than I ever thought could exist in my reality really keeps me going every day. 

    Wow I am thinking so many things right now and want to tell so many stories. There is one person in particular that I keep thinking about when it comes to not only the listening to me talk thing but also about my love for singing. My dad is not the only person who has made me feel safe screaming music in the car and I am thinking about all of those people now. My brain automatically wants to use words like “tolerate” even though that is such a negative connotation when I’m sure they don’t feel that way about it at all. This person I am thinking about who would listen to me talk for hours or sing with me in the car is a very special person to me. She is honestly probably the only person who is going to read this at all much less to the end. I don’t know if I will ever be able to repay this person for the amount of love she brought into my life. I want to make a whole post describing all of our memories together but im not sure what format to put them in. Maybe I should tell them like a story. People always tell me I should write a book. I am going to end this here and maybe write out some topics I want to talk about more thoroughly and cohesively so that I can document them here. I would love to talk about all of my memories from certain time periods before they leave my head forever. That is a big fear of mine. I want to tell you about all of my first loves and all of the times I have felt love at all and all of the art I have experienced and everything. Thank you for reading this if you do. And thank you for loving me if you have because I am learning how to love myself and it helps so much to have people who show me ways. 

Maybe if you read this like it so I know. 

[choking-on-tae]

BTS Reaction to: Their girlfriend getting a lot of hate

Anon asked: "Hi there! If requests are still open could u make a reaction of bts dating a muslim girl, and now shes getting alot of hate ?? and maybe if youre comfortable enough, she starts to have suicidal thoughts ?? like your my favourite writer now okay and im gonna have a mental breakdown if u reply to this!!! I LOVE YOU <3"

Author’s note: First of all THANK YOU that really means a lot to me! Second of all I decided to not go for a certain religion because just as with the name things I want everyone to relate to this. I don’t want to limit it to certain things such as names for example. I hope you can understand that. Gifs aren’t mine. x 

Warnings: Mentions of suicidal thoughts. If you’re not comfortable with that please don’t read this. x 

You knew that dating and Idol would come with getting some hate from ‘fans’. Even though the majority of the fandom would eventually warm up to the idea and accept it, there’s always some immature people who feel the need to tell you that you’re not worthy of dating him and that you should kill yourself. This happens in every fandom and you were prepared to get some hate, but you weren’t prepared for this. You always thought sending people you don’t even know hate just because they’re dating someone you like them as well was total bullshit and you still think that up to this day. But when every comment on your social media is filled with negativity it’s not hard to doubt yourself. Doubt if you’re indeed even worthy of dating him. Doubt if you’re indeed ugly and fat. And doubt if you shouldn’t just end it to get rid of all the hate. 

Your boyfriend knew that you got hate and that really hurt him. However, he didn’t know what kind of hate you got. He thought it was just immature stuff like calling you fat and ugly but when he saw that his ‘fans’ told you that you should kill yourself he really started to worry and ran up to your room. Not even knocking on the door before opening it. When he saw you curled up underneath the covers, sobbing uncontrollably he felt his heart break into tiny little pieces. 

Seokjin: 

It would hurt Seokjin that people felt the need to send you hate. They judged your relationship based on what they saw not what it was like in reality. Besides, they didn’t even know you and the things they sent were just really immature stuff. However, Seokjin knew that getting a lot of hate for a certain period of time could really knock someone’s confidence. So he wasn’t surprised when he found you curled up underneath the covers in your bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed as he pulled the covers down enough to gently run his fingers through your hair. He loved his fans but he didn’t approve of them sending this immature stuff just because you were dating him. They didn’t even know you and he was sure that if they did, they’d love you. Seokjin moved you so your head was resting in his lap as he gently stroked your hair, trying to calm you down a little. 

“I’ve read the comments baby. I know what they’re saying to you. Please know that they’re just jealous and that this is absolutely ridiculous. I love you and they should know that. If they feel the need to send you this type of stuff they’re not real fans. I’ll tell them what I think about it tomorrow, okay? Just please know that I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.” 

“So you don’t agree with them?” 

“Of course not Princess. You’re absolutely beautiful and I’ll love you no matter what.” 

Yoongi: 

Yoongi knew hate comments were a part of it and he got used to it after a while. He knew the haters were just jealous and immature people, but that didn’t mean their words didn’t hurt. Yoongi learned how to shrug them off over the years but you didn’t. You hadn’t gotten used to it and figured you never could get used to it. It just really hurt you that people would send you still like that just because you were dating Yoongi. So when you read that you should just go and kill yourself you cracked. You ran up to your room and hid under the covers, sobbing uncontrollably as you let all your sadness out. Yoongi’s heart broke at the sight of you looking so sad. He didn’t expect you to take it so badly so he climbed in bed with you and pulled you against him. Gently running his fingers through your hair as he pressed soft kisses all over your face, kissing away your tears. 

“Why are you so sweet to me? Don’t you agree with them?” 

“Of course not Jagi. They’re just immature people who think sending you hate will get me to break up with you, which isn’t gonna happen.” 

You flashed him a soft smile as you nuzzled your face against his chest, wrapping your arms around him as he rested his chin on top of your head. 

“I’ll never let go of you Jagiya, no matter how much hate they send. I love you.” 

“I love you too Yoongi.” 

Hoseok: 

Tears filled Hoseok’s eyes as he saw you curled up underneath the sheets. He knew getting hate was hard, especially when people told you that you should just kill yourself. Hoseok wanted to make sure that you knew how special you were to him. So he wiped his tears before joining you in bed, straddling your waist and tickling your sides. You whined as you tried to push him off, which obviously didn’t work. You couldn’t help but laugh as he continued attacking your sides. Tickling had always been one of your weaknesses and he knew that. Hoseok felt a lot better seeing you smile and wiped your tears before pressing kisses to your cheeks. You giggled at the feeling as you stared up at him. Your eyes were still showing sadness but there was also another emotion visible, love. 

“Y/N, I know it’s hard but please don’t listen to them. They really don’t know what they’re talking about.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Because they don’t know you, or us.” 

You sighed in defeat before letting your head fall back against the pillow. Hoseok moved to lay down on top of you as he gently brushed your hair out of your face. 

“Maybe we can do a livestream tomorrow and talk to people about it. I think that could actually help and give people a clear image of what we’re really like together. It will probably stop some of the hate.” 

“You think?” “I’m sure.” 

“Okay, let’s do it.” 

Namjoon: 

As someone who’s dealt with a lot of hate himself he knew exactly how you were feeling. You know you should just get over it but when you get so much hate every single day it doesn’t take long before you start to believe that what they’re saying is actually true. What he didn’t understand however was why people told you to kill yourself. Was that really all because you were dating him? Namjoon didn’t even want to spend his time on immature people like that and instead focused on making you feel better. He knew you weren’t exactly confident and that this must have only made you more insecure than you already were. So when he saw you hiding underneath the covers he let out a deep sigh before lifting you out of bed. Namjoon knew that laying in bed the entire day would only make you more depressed than you already were. 

So he took you downstairs and sat you down on the couch. He went to the kitchen to make some tea for you before he pulled you close and put on a nice movie. He knew he’d have to talk to you about this eventually but right now didn’t seem like a good time. You were very emotionally unstable and at this point he just wanted to make you feel better, not worse. Once the movie ended you felt a lot better and Namjoon knew that this was a good time to talk to you about it. 

“Maybe I can talk in an interview about it and try to explain to the fans how much I love you? That way they might realize that sending you hate is just stupid and unnecessary.” 

“You’d do that for me?” 

“Of course baby. Anything to make you feel better. Besides I do not tolerate this kind of behavior from them. This is just crazy.”  

Jimin: 

Jimin knew exactly how you felt when he saw you laying underneath the sheets. People told him to lose weight and when he finally did they said that he should get abs again. It took him a long time to realize that it shouldn’t matter that those people thing, just as long as he’s happy with himself. But he also knew how hard it was to realize that when you got hate comments like that every single day. Let alone when you got hate comments saying that you should just end it. He didn’t understand why people felt the need to do that. If they knew what you were like they’d absolutely love you. He was sure about that. So Jimin tried to come up with a way to let the people know that they should stop sending hate and that he loved you very much. 

Once you had calmed down from your breakdown he pulled you in your lap and snapped a cute photo of you two together before posting it on Twitter. He made sure to add that he loved you dearly and that the people should stop sending hate comments. Surprisingly it worked. After about 5 minutes Jimin saw nothing but love in the comments. A bright smile spread across his face as he showed you the tweets. You felt your heart warm at the sweet comments as happy tears spilled down your cheeks, making him chuckle. 

“Jagiya! I’m trying to cheer you up and now you’re crying again!” 

“I’m sorry! I’m just not used to people saying nice things about me and this is just really sweet. I love you Jimin. So much.” 

“I love you too Y/N. You know that.” 

Taehyung: 

Taehyung took a deep breath before gently pushing your hair back and climbing on top of you. He removed the covers from your body so he could see you and pressed kisses all over your face and neck, making you giggle. Taehyung felt a lot better seeing you smile again but he knew he had to so something. He simply couldn’t handle seeing you like this more often. Especially when he coudl fix the problem. Just like Namjoon Taehyung would come up with a way to tell the fans how proud he was of your relationship. Seeing you so sad broke his heart and he didn’t want to see you like that every again. So when the interviewer mentioned you Taehyung took that as his chance to clear things up and to tell the fans how happy he was with you. 

“I just want to say that I’m really happy with Y/N and it really hurts me that some people feel the need to send hate to her. I love her so much she doesn’t deserve this. She really is amazing and I wish people could see that.” 

“You’re really happy with her aren’t you?” The interviewer asked, making Taehyung smile brightly. The others laughed at their friend’s behavior as they all looked at him with fond smiles on their faces. 

“I definitely am. She means everything to me and despite all the hate she gets she still manages to see the good in people. I really do admire that in her.” 

“Seems like you two are a great couple!” 

After the interview aired your Instagram page was filled with nothing but love and apologies. You seriously couldn’t thank Taehyung for everything he did for you. 

Jungkook: 

Jungkook would be hurt that people would sent you stuff like that. He simply didn’t understand why they’d hate on such a sweet and lovely girl like you. Was it really all because you were dating him? He just didn’t get it at all. It broke his heart when he saw you sobbing so he needed to come up with something to make it stop. Jungkook knew that you were in no rational state to talk to people so he sat down next to you, rested your head on his lap as he started Vlive. In the mean time your sobs had quieted down and you were looking up at him. You weren’t sure what he was doing but as soon as he started talking you realized what was going on. 

“Hey everyone. I’m doing this vlive because I’ve noticed that a lot of people send hate comments to my lovely girlfriend for absolutely no reason. If you knew her you’d like her just as much as I do. She means everything to me and I love her so much. It really hurts her to read stuff like that and seeing her so sad really hurts me too. I’m not asking you to support our relationship. All I’m asking is for you to support it. If you’re really my fan you want me to be happy and Y/N makes me happy. Really happy even.” 

He looked down to see you smiling at him with teary eyes. Quickly wiping them before wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“Just looking at her makes my heart beat faster. She’s laying on my lap right now if you’re wondering why I’m looking down.” 

You laughed at his words as you moved to sit up. Flashing a smile to the camera and waving. “Hey everyone.” 

The rest of the time was spend talking to the fans online, who were nice in case you were wondering. You really liked the change of events and were happy that Jungkook actually took the time and effort to talk to his fans about it. You really had a great boyfriend. 

#bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts reactions #bts reaction post #bangtan reactions #bangtan reaction post #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #bangtan scenarios #bangtan angst #bangtan fluff #jungkook scenarios #taehyung scenarios #jimin scenarios #namjoon scenarios #hoseok scenarios #yoongi scenarios #seokjin scenarios #jungkook fluff #taehyung fluff #jimin fluff #namjoon fluff #hoseok fluff #yoongi fluff #seokjin fluff #jungkook angst #taehyung angst #jimin angst

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 2

DAVENFORTH: -Here they are, on the road. The trees wiz by as Takoda rolls them along. Davenforth is awake right now, watching the scenery and trying to figure out exactly what the fuck is going on while a cold fish cuddles and snoozes on while being covered in various warming apparel-

MAYOR: -chewing on a delicious seat-

HIGHBLOOD: =The warm smell of a hot, fresh banana cream pie slowly seeps from the back=

RILEY: -she awakens to the smell of banana cream pie, opening her eyes from a snoring and drooling deep sleep against derek. she sits up and tiredly looks around for the source-

HIGHBLOOD: =its him, or rather the pie on the little table he's got propped up over his lap. A bowl of sliced bananas next to it, he lays the slices gently on the whipped surface of the pie=

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles something about "clown magic" -

QIRIN: =Softest of tummy gurgles.=

QIRIN: =Gently places a hand over her own face.=

MAYOR: -all you SUCKERS can get hungry over pies if you want. It's not even green?-

HIGHBLOOD: =he might have green pies, who knows=

DAVENFORTH: -He really wouldn't recommend eating a juggalo party bus seat. Do you know what's been on these things?-

PENNY: -wakes up next to the mayor and groaaans. She is not feeling too hot right now. Also reaches over and tries to push the Mayor away from his seat eating.- dude no thats so gnarly.

DAVENFORTH: Marinated in sex sweat and faygo

GAIZKA: =Sleeping Meditating under a pile of those fuzzy rainbow robes. Legs kickied up against the side wall of the bus. Flicks an ear.= GAIZKA: only MoThErFuCkInG marinade WhAt will Do. =Tired bemused mumbling.=

QIRIN: Ugghhghghg

HIGHBLOOD: =Gaizka better be in the back with him= amen on that shit usual but nastyass blaspheme soaked up in it my motherfucker

DAVENFORTH: Still salty about that huh

DAVENFORTH: You know its not a religion on earth its more of a cult

DAVENFORTH: One condy probably brought here

MAYOR: ? -offers a handful of gross chair stuffing to penny-

HIGHBLOOD: =quirks eyebrow= .... one ought have words and extremities for her if that so be the realness, ain't too farfetched

GAIZKA: =If the back is where one has room for two 9 feet+ clowns then in the back he is. He hums.= stray souls in NeEd of some GuIdIn' AsSiSt or so it go. be So HiThEr, DiThEr or in the UnBrEaThAbLe.

DAVENFORTH: Do either of you know how a magnet works

HIGHBLOOD: in the unbreathable gaiz, they already been tainted =Shows finished banana cream pie to Davenforth, he will pie you=

PENNY: ... bro no. -nudges Mayor's hand away-

MAYOR: -Picky eaters... he offers a green crayon from inside of his tattered rags. U NEED TO EAT. sustain your internal skeleton.-

LIFERA: -she's only vaguely awake, wanting very much to hibernate a bit, but fins flick and she peers up around Dave's shoulder to look back at Gaizka.- ... -Grumpy glub.-

DAVENFORTH: -Answer the question. Also he will eat that entire pie-

GAIZKA: =Shrugs a shoulder underneath the pile.= if so a HoLy BrOtHeR pReAcH. =You do you man. Everyone just feel yourselves.= GAIZKA: magnets got tHeM mAgNeTiC aEsThEtIc AtTrAcT themselves some FrEnEtiC.

DAVENFORTH: -This is why he likes you Gaizka-

PENNY: bro........... PENNY: hey big guy are you sharing that pie? I think this dude needs it more than anybody.

MAYOR: -EXCUSE-

DAVENFORTH: Thats just how he eats

PENNY: Im gonna call bullshit on the whole concept of eating then.

HIGHBLOOD: =reaches a long arm to put a potholder on Riley's head. Then balance the pie on it, assembles another one while putting a whole plate of corn muffins with honey glaze on the Gaizka pile= motherfucker seem mightily content

GAIZKA: =Shakes his head out of the pile to peer at the muffins placed upon him. He's just gonna help himself, thanks brosef.= GAIZKA: =Holds a muffin up in Lifera's direction and tilts his head quizzingly. Why the grumpy glubs? Have a muffin.=

DAVENFORTH: -Trying his best to keep Lifera as warm as possible.-

RILEY: -keeps completely still- is there a pie on my head or am i still asleep?

LIFERA: ... -Smiles a little and takes the muffin. Bites it in half in one sharp slice of teeth and offers some to Davenforth.-

DAVENFORTH: (Nah you go ahead baybe im good)

RILEY: -takes the whole thing off her head and DIGS IN-

RILEY: -SHE IS HUNGRY-

GAIZKA: =Takes the opportunity to dump some of the rainbow robes on Lifera and Davenforth since he's getting up now apparently.= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi-

GAIZKA: AiN't any proper LoVeBiRdInG nest without SoMe FuZzIeS. =He got you homies.= ;o)

LIFERA: -SWALLOWS MUFFIN and snrks.- T)(ANKS seaweedie. -shh... we're married.-

DAVENFORTH: -Ceremony date is pending-

LIFERA: -not us me and Gaizka?? SHEESH.-

LIFERA: 3;*

DAVENFORTH: -Wasted-

GAIZKA: =They can all get married and become goat farmers in the alps. He gives Lifera a lopsided grin.= any ol' time AnGeLfIsH.

TAKODA: -still driving- }8) -he's smiling, wide eyed and trying to stay awake.-

LIFERA: -soft glubs... she loves this clownfish. Speaking of love and this clownfish, she glances over at their driver.- Are you still ocray up there, Takoda?

DAVENFORTH: You want me to take over koda

TAKODA: ... TAKODA: THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE W1SE, 1F WE SW1TCHED...

DAVENFORTH: Get some rest buddy -Smooches Lifs head and gets up to head up front-

TAKODA: -pulls off to the side of the road at the first opportunity-

GAIZKA: =Looks over Liffy while she glances away. Does her hair need a brushin'..?=

DAVENFORTH: -He is the captain now, and he takes a seat, getting them moving again. Where even are they headed? We just don't know, but it would probably be wise to stop at a gas station soon-

QIRIN: =they can always grab a hose and steal gas=

QIRIN: =she was a teenager, once=

GAIZKA: =One does not simply stop being a teenager.=

TAKODA: -wanders towards the back with the clowns and finds himself a seat. he should sleep but... now that he's not distracted by driving his thoughts are racing. darn it.-

GAIZKA: =Welcome to Clowntown. Have a rainbow robe. He drapes it around Takoda's shoulders while humming. Strategically sings out some of the lyrics lowkey.= (can't you see, you're my delight,) =Hum hum.= (just feel like, i won't get you, out of my mind.) =What's up here come dat thought and it's gay as hell.=

TAKODA: -geez... he's still not used to being spoiled with affection like this.- HEHEHE... THANK YOU...

GAIZKA: ;o)c GAIZKA: you feel on PeAcHy KeEn, BrOtHeR? been up on them WhEeLs for LoNg PaSs.

TAKODA: 1'M F1NE... JUST T1RED, 1S ALL. BUT ALSO, RESTLESS?

GAIZKA: yeah? how you ReCkOn that NoIsE AlLs up work? need HiM some PaCiN' or be ThEm ReStLeSs NoTeS of the MiNdSpAcE?

LIFERA: -her hair always needs brushing and is just past her shoulders now... it grows fast. She's spying on those two now, and maybe sliding closer. Lend her your warmth and your cuteness.-

LIFERA: 38)

TAKODA: 1T'S, UH, 1N THE HEAD, MOSTLY... -notices lifera APPROACHING- TAKODA: ... H1.

GAIZKA: seem none act keep SuChIn ThOuGhT FlOw WaNdErInGs at bay. =Sees Lifera slide n scoot on over, and thus lifts one of his big barrel arms. He's big enough for everyone to lend warmth to.=

GAIZKA: and this HoMeTtE? got just them BoD wAnDeRs or MiNd Be AlL iNcLuSiVe?

LIFERA: -squirms her round little self under his arm and snugs close, sighing.- Oh, I'm all thought out, I'm shore. My little ones are taken care of...

LIFERA: -And she's pretty prepared to throw herself into any oncoming frays, swords, bullets, etcetera. She doesn't really need to think much for that.-

GAIZKA: =Lowers his arm to wrap around her once she's snug like a bug in a rug.= AlLs them LiL ThOuGhTwAvEs done up and gone with themselves on the MoThErFuCkInG breeze. i feel you SiStEr.

DAVENFORTH: -Driving gives him time to focus, which for Dave maybe isn't the best thing but oh well. Earth was radically different since he last visited, and he still had no clue what was going on. Undoubtedly, Condy was behind the madness but...why split them up like this but leave them with means of communication? Was she that cocky? Taking a look at their fuel gauge, he figures they have a few more hours of travel time. He'll stop at the nearest gas station when he sees it.-

RILEY: - are you trying to focus Dave because get ready to be brocused. That pie she had is destroyed by now with no trace left. She plants herself in the seat nearest to the drivers- hey.

PENNY: -YEAH YOU GO UP THERE. She's gonna make herself cozy with the grand pieblood too.-

RILEY: -we got a mutual friend now suck on that-

LIFERA: Glub...

LIFERA: I just want to help in whatebber way is N-E-ED-ED.

LIFERA: I don't think my other skrills are of much use here.

PENNY: -GAAAHHHH-

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

PENNY: haha same. -she would guzzle something... IF SHE HAD IT.- PENNY: so uh. what do I gotta do to get a pie from you?

HIGHBLOOD: ain't nothin gotta get down lil sismiss HIGHBLOOD: shit doth occur in the time it's done dued up, you just ain't found it yet =She should check under her seat=

HIGHBLOOD: =He looks downward too actually=

PENNY: .... -follows his gaze. Is he looking at the pie??-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's looking under her seat, directly under the human buttsit, it's in a box with a big :o) on the top=

PENNY: oh shit.

PENNY: -reaches down to pull it out and pops the lid.- crouching pie hidden breakfast.

PENNY: thanks big guy. youre a real ten foot bro.

PENNY: sorry Im having a hard time getting past the whole...

PENNY: -spreads her hands wide- thing.

HIGHBLOOD: ain't no apologies needed

HIGHBLOOD: dunno your shit and ain't gonna pry lil sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: as it is it'll be, can't get its ass no other kinda way, you dig?

PENNY: that is. EXACTLY how I feel thank you.

PENNY: -there's probably not a fork in here right?? She's gonna try to nibble this pie with no hands.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Whats a fork=

PENNY: -yeah that's what she thought-

PENNY: ish pree goo tho.

PENNY: youre the real star of this road trip.

HIGHBLOOD: =compliments on his bakes, hell ye. Shimmers= truth on the quality confectionaries though butterance ain't needed

HIGHBLOOD: here not to be no star but keepin the dream alive as i is and am everywhere :o)

PENNY: dont think anyones ever called me the dream before. -SNRK-

DAVENFORTH: Sup -He's starting to get all focused and serious.-

HIGHBLOOD: ain't everybody got them eyes for prizes sismiss ;o)

PENNY: oh shit. I do like you. -scoops banana whip into her mouth with a hand because fuck it she's hungry and the handless approach isn't working-

HIGHBLOOD: tend to be an agreeable motherfucker what with all mine charm and beauty =chinhands=

PENNY: you are hella both in large quantities to no ones surprise. pretty sure everything about you is large. -eats pie contemplatively.-

HIGHBLOOD: in comparison and proportion :o)

PENNY: okay so real question. how many of these pies could you put down?

HIGHBLOOD: damn...... i mix varieties up in my eatins don't gorge on a single thing till a brofo am full....

HIGHBLOOD: ain't never tried but now got reason to do so :o0

PENNY: you gotta. for science.

PENNY: but mostly cuz I wanna see you eat like fifty pies.

HIGHBLOOD: oh fifty is easy

HIGHBLOOD: that ain't a thang sismiss

RILEY: you've got that look going on. i think it's time for some music.

HIGHBLOOD: =Music..... should be break out the sax=

PENNY: hell... yes??? this guy knows his limits and also his lack of them. God bless.

HIGHBLOOD: gotta be in peace with your mind and vessle sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: can do wonderous things

DAVENFORTH: Only music this bus has is icp if you want that be my guest

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't. He's breaking out the sax, that's it=

TAKODA: WE COULD ALL S1NG, AND PLAY MUS1C, 1F WE ARE THE K1NDS, WHO KNOW HOW TO PLAY 1NSTRUMENTS.

TAKODA: WH1CH 1 DO. AND 1 KNOW FOR A FACT, A LOT OF YOU HERE DO. }:o -at ghb's sax-

HIGHBLOOD: =Now that he's looking at it, yup. Here goes him, playing old pop songs from hundreds of years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQxO32lKszo =

PENNY: -SWAYS. This is the best thing that could have possibly happened.-

MAYOR: -percussions on the cans-

DAVENFORTH: -He appreciates the irony but he needs a cigarette-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's fuckin it up on the sax, its just giving you too much life Davenforth=

DAVENFORTH: -A bowl. He needs a bowl. But he doesn't want to lose his focus. He doesn't fight as well under the influence as he used to...-

HIGHBLOOD: =Haha you're old=

DAVENFORTH: -No he just leads a more sober lifestyle-

PENNY: -OLD AS FUCK.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Both, but good on you man. This one goes out to you. Doots soulfully=

RILEY: that sax though.

RILEY: -with all the ruckus at least she can talk to him- you doing okay?

DAVENFORTH: Peachy fucking keen

RILEY: like shit. okay.

RILEY: now we're getting somewhere.

DAVENFORTH: Riri im good just trying to piece together what the actual fuck is going on

RILEY: is this actually something you can piece together? you're gonna stress yourself out thinking about it too much. we have a destination, we just have to get there.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck i dunno but ive gotta try and were a long ass way from minnesota

RILEY: you ever been to minnesota before?

DAVENFORTH: Once dont really remember it

RILEY: yeah. i've never been. had like one show scheduled there but i didn't go. just cuz it was minnesota.

DAVENFORTH: -Taps at the steering wheel-

RILEY: -glances over at him-

RILEY: -y u tap dat-

DAVENFORTH: -He's fine this is all fine.-

RILEY: -time to distract him- so you're legally dead, right.

DAVENFORTH: Dave skellington is me not so much im like missing or presumed dead or some shit just waiting to pop up at my own funeral like some kind of shitty clickbait article the empress of the universe thought he was dead what happened next will warm your heart

DAVENFORTH: Schrodingers asshole

RILEY: wow. that makes so much sense.

DAVENFORTH: I was my own agent

DAVENFORTH: I never revealed dave skellingtons identity to the public

DAVENFORTH: And when he got assassinated i was around him but my death was never confirmed just presumed

RILEY: damn. i should have done that. pulled a hannah montana like you did.

DAVENFORTH: It made shit stupid difficult

RILEY: yeah probably because literally everyone knew who you were.

DAVENFORTH: I worked hard for it

RILEY: weren't there like babies whose first words were dave?

DAVENFORTH: Probably

RILEY: -she pauses- you got a killer headache, huh?

DAVENFORTH: You dont want your babies first word to be dave

RILEY: -there it is- nope.

DAVENFORTH: Sucks to be you

RILEY: there's no possible way that's happening.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

DAVENFORTH: You doing alright

RILEY: -smug- you don't want your kids' first word to be riley?

DAVENFORTH: It was suh

RILEY: not a word.

DAVENFORTH: Sup is absolutely a word

RILEY: newborns can say suh.

DAVENFORTH: Can they say bro and dude

RILEY: really?

DAVENFORTH: Jinjin is a very talented baby

RILEY: damn trolls and their accelerated development.

DAVENFORTH: You hatin on my baby

RILEY: i'm jealous.

DAVENFORTH: Why you get to enjoy all that cute shit longer

RILEY: no, i mean i'm jealous I didn't grow up that fast.

DAVENFORTH: Wait youre grown up

RILEY: -such a glare- you are SO funny. just a comedic class act.

DAVENFORTH: I was voted most likely to die by cocaine overdose

DAVENFORTH: Also best dressed

RILEY: who are we polling?

JODIE: - shuffles around in the back somewhere. she's extremely hung over-

DAVENFORTH: Well that one was my high school class

QIRIN: =Now Jodie...imagine the greasiest pizza you have ever laid eyes on. Oil is literally dripping from the cheese. YUM.=

JODIE: - she's barely even conscious and she already wants this in her body-

RILEY: nice. great categories. -lifts her head- okay who fucking has pizza?

QIRIN: =I do. An imaginary one.=

DAVENFORTH: -Babe chill-

RILEY: wait. -groans- blaming my bad sense of smell on the baby.

JODIE: - she wants REAL pizza-

DAVENFORTH: I mean they were right werent they

RILEY: close enough. i don't think i was voted into anything. it would have been most likely to go to juvie for truancy.

JODIE: anybody got some water?

JODIE: -HER VOICE IS HOARSE. she got black out drunk and is now reaping the benefits.-

RILEY: -GIRL-

JODIE: -rubbing eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nope only whiskey-

DAVENFORTH: You didnt miss much

JODIE: cool.

RILEY: somebody had a party last night.

QIRIN: =she slowly rose to her feet and handed her an unopened water bottle= ^_^

JODIE: -blessed woman. makes a smooching sound at her and then CHUGS IT-  

QIRIN: =dear lord=

QIRIN: If I may interject... Perhaps slower consumption will aid you better...

JODIE: that was like a pre-party. imma wait til we have something to celebrate before i pull out all the stops.

JODIE: -GLUG GLUG???-

QIRIN: =mainly she doesn't want her to choke=

RILEY: you can't get her to slow down.

RILEY: it's impossible.

JODIE: -drinks half the bottle and passes it on back-

JODIE: -fishes in her purse and reapplies lip balm- thanks bby.

QIRIN: It's quite all right, please keep it. =YOU MAY NEED IT LATER=

JODIE: oh sweet. after i drink it all i can pee in the bottle.

JODIE: save us time.

JODIE: -TOSSES IT IN HER PURSE-

QIRIN: =frog god help her=

JODIE: i swear i can get it all in without a stray drop. it's a talent.

DAVENFORTH: Theres a bathroom -If you can call it that-

JODIE: damn. fancy ass bus.

RILEY: a bottle actually might be preferable.

JODIE: -MIGHT BE A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOW OFF HER TALENT.-

RILEY: -has to pee aLL THE TIME THANKS RYAN-

RYAN: -rihanna winks from the womb-

RILEY: -GIRL!!!!-

DAVENFORTH: -Hark! Is that a gas station he sees in the distance?-

RILEY: -PLEASE JESUS-

DAVENFORTH: -Indeed it is! Davenforth pulls into the station. Is it abandoned we just don't know yet.-

DEREK: -eyes out the window-

DAVENFORTH: Alright kids its time for a rest

RILEY: i'm really fucking hungry. does this place have those rent a showers? not like i have any earth money on me. do they accept that anymore?

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

QIRIN: What of trading?

RILEY: -blinks at qirin for a moment- oh. yeah! that.

DEREK: -stands up and stretches-

DAVENFORTH: Pretty sure they dont accept third borns

DAVENFORTH: Lets see if this place isnt abandoned first -Looks at Derek like you coming with?-

RILEY: -she's already walking out the bus-

DEREK: -HELL YEAH HE IS. nods at the brother and trots on after-

DAVENFORTH: -Hops off the bus-

DAVENFORTH: So if there aint anyone in there you think you remember how to do that thing behind the counter to get free gas

RILEY: -there better be some FOOD IN HERE-

DEREK: Sure I do. -ok hand- I got this.

RILEY: get us some fuel, baby.

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on in-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody home

RILEY: -curiously looks around. what's this place look like anyway-

QIRIN: Honestly. At the very least write an IOU.

DAVENFORTH: -It's much akin to a good sized seven eleven. Hot dog and pizza machine, aisles of snacks with the cooler section in the back with drinks. There's even a tv on the wall with the latest news. Everything is up and running but Davenforth notes it's quiet-

QIRIN: =what's on the telly?=

RILEY: -if there's no one in here she's gonna take some shit and run. she's checking some expiration dates on some chips to make sure-

DAVENFORTH: -Deez nuts-

DEREK: -peeks behind the counter casually. nobody's there, but maybe they're just in the bathroom or the back room or something. either way, he's hopping over the counter to do his thing.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's probably something on tv about policies the New dual juggalo presidents are going to be enacting. Boring stuff honestly. Oh yeah, Two juggalos won the presidency. Davenforth is trying to figure out how to make some tea for folks. Everyone is cold.-

RILEY: -she's stuffing her arms full of stuff like cheap hot dogs and sandwiches and donuts and a whole bunch of shit before just straight up slippin it in the sylladex. there's a bathroom and she's going to take this opportunity while it's here. tHERE sHE GOES-

DAVENFORTH: I can see why you married her

DEREK: -grins as he watches her go. she scurry.- Yeah... We used to get into all kinds of shit back in the way.

DAVENFORTH: Youre always getting into shit -He too, is stuffing his sylladex full of shit, non perishable food, water, Gatorade, microwavable burritos and pizza rolls...until he actually hears the named shaggy 2 dope and violent j. Now the tv has his full fucking attention-

RILEY: -busts out of the restrooms- okay, guys, i-- -she sees dave looking at the tv so she also is looking at the tv and not believing anything she's seeing right now-

QIRIN: =trying to ignore all this petty crime happening=

QIRIN: Can you believe it? =She's paritially asking herself that question=

DAVENFORTH: That would explain the rise of the juggalos

RILEY: -frowns- you sure this isn't one of those sketch comedy shows? or a mockumentary?

DAVENFORTH: Afraid not

DEREK: -furrows brows at the tv- Whats the point of fucking the planet over to this degree? Did all the Alternian imperialized planets get this kinda treatment?

RILEY: this is fucking ridiculous. how is this a thing? who made this a thing?

#tenaciousgodliness #transienttutor #robynsaint #pennyLane #temulenceGenetrix #arcadianLuminary #jubilantPacifier #coralcaliph #weatheringQuerist #warwearyvagabond #trunculentcampyman

[viralhottopics]

Every Episode Of Reza Aslan’s ‘Believer’ Will Piss Somebody Off (And It’s Awesome)

Reza Aslan is a scholar and writer whose best-selling books include Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth and No god but God: The Origins, Evolution and Future of Islam. His personal journey took him from being a refugee from Iran as a child, a conversion to Evangelical Christianity as a teenager and now his embrace of the Sufi mystical tradition within Islam. His new show,Believer with Reza Aslan, will debut on CNN Original Series on Sunday, March 5,at 10 PM ET. He spoke with Voices Editor Paul Brandeis Raushenbush about his new series, how he understands religion, and the fact that someone is going to really love each episode, and someone else wont.

Paul Brandeis Raushenbush: Given your own spiritual journey Im thinking that there was something about you that was ready to go out and make this series.

Reza Aslan: No question. My spiritual journey has essentially paralleled my intellectual journey and the meeting of those two has led me to a foundational belief that religions are just different ways of saying a similar thing. Theyre different languages, different symbols, different metaphors for expressing what is oftentimes an identical sentiment or an identical quest or search for transcendence, for meaning, for an experience thats beyond just a material world. My entire goal here is to get the viewer to recognize that these different traditions, they may look weird, they may look foreign, they may look scary, but once you break through them, once you see me experience them, then theyre going to come across as a lot more familiar.

PBR: One of the tensions of the series is that you put yourself in some of the most extreme manifestations of religion, the mountaintop experiences. But these people also have jobs and theyre caring for their elderly parents or their young kids, so I think that its really interesting to also have a sense of how these experiences translate into normal life.

RA: So many times our conversations about religion are on such a weird theoretical level. You have critics of religion essentially using the words of a religious leader or even the text in order to make broad generalizations about religious people when, in reality, there is a world of difference between the top-down religiosity and the actual lived experience of religious people.

PBR: A lot of the traditions covered in the series are formed out of intensely political realities that theyre reacting to and interacting with. Im just curious to what extent politics was overtly present in the conversation or is that always subtext?

RA: I define religion as an identity, not a set of beliefs and practices. Thats probably postulate number one for me. People tend to think that, Oh religion is just something you believe in, right? Well, not for most people, actually. The vast majority of people who raise their hand and say, Im Jewish, Im Christian, or Im Muslim are making identity statements much more so than belief statements.

So, if religion is a matter of identity, then it encompasses every aspect of your life. It cant be divorced from your politics or your social views or your economic views. Its all wrapped up together as one. Even when youre talking about religions that are on the margins like the Aghori in India or Voodou in Haiti or Santa Muerte in Mexico, these are religions that have no choice but to be engaged with the world in which they live. Sometimes (its) because that world is attacking them; sometimes because that world is the enemy; but sometimes because what they are trying to accomplish in the spiritual realm is reflected in the world.

PBR: Much of this series must have been created prior to the election. Does the show have a different kind of edge to it now?

RA: Im going to be honest with you about something, Paul. If you are Black or Latino or gay or Muslim in this country, Trumps election should not have surprised you in the slightest. The show is certainly much more important now. The themes are much more vital because more people are aware of this undercurrent in American society than I think they were a year ago. As someone who has always been aware of it, my goal with this show was from the beginning to make the exotic less exotic, make the fearful less fearful, make people realize that they have a lot more in common with each other than they would possibly imagine. Yes, I think that thats a more important message today than it was a year ago but the message hasnt changed.

PBR: What was the moment when filming for the series when you were like, Get me the hell out of here?

RA: [Laughter] You actually see it happening. There is a moment in the premiere episode, the episode about the Hindu sect the Aghori, when Im at the mercy of this Aghori Sadhu (Holy Man) who take part in ostentatious displays of self-pollution in order to shock the system. So, I knew it intellectually, but being on the sand with a group of them, I did not feel safe and I literally say to my director at one point, Get me out of here. Only later on I realized that he thought I was joking. I was not joking. If I do this show again, Im definitely going to make sure that the director knows what my safe word is because I wouldve used it then.

PBR I love that, a safe word. The flip of that question is, what was the moment when you were tempted to just join and said bye-bye to your crazy life and join up.

RA: Well, I will say, I spent a week among this doomsday community in Hawaii under the leadership of a self-styled messiah named Jesus. The first few days I said to myself, Oh my goodness these people! And in my first conversation with Jesus I thought, Huh! This guy is unhinged and it took maybe two or three more days before I was able to sit down with him again. But I was hanging out with all of his followers and they were all like, Yes, dont worry. Jesus always does that. Hes always like that with people. It takes a while to get to know him. I just kept thinking to myself, Okay. These people are on another wavelength.

Then I had a second conversation with Jesus that we show and I just flat out told him, Stop being messiah and just be a human being and talk to me, and we had like a two-hour conversation. At the end of which I thought to myself, just for a second, Hah! I kind of get why people are drawn to this guy. There is something really honest and authentic about him and he has created this paradise on the Big Island where everything is shared and common and its self-sustaining.

His doomsday message is very much geared on the reality of climate change, so you can make fun of him all you want, but the truth of the matter is that he is right. It is a catastrophe just waiting to happen.

PBR: Spiritual curiosity is almost a tagline for your show. Curiosity is an undervalued religious virtue, but curiosity is perhaps the best trait to have in life and certainly if youre investigating other peoples spirituality or your own for that matter.

So, what is the secret thing you have been dying to tell me that you have told nobody else that is going to be my headline?

RA: Well, I think each one of these episodes is going to piss somebody off.

PBR: Thats a good headline.

RA: That may be, in many ways, like the story of my career, basically. I swear to you, its not something I aim for. Its just something that I dont consider when I make my decisions about what Im going to write or what Im going to say. Im not courting controversy. Im just interested in these issues and Im not going to be constrained by what I think may or may not get me in trouble. There is something in every one of these episodes thats going to get me in trouble. I know

PBR: Is it going to get you in trouble with the people who practice that religion or other people or both?

RA: Yes, sometimes both. I think that there will probably be some very conservative religious people within each one of these traditions that will be unhappy with the way they feel their religion is being portrayed. I just think of the Scientology episode. Whats great about (that) episode is that theres something there for everyone to be angry about. And something for everybody to love. At one point or another everyones going to find something to be angry about.

Trust me.

A version of this interview first appeared on Voices at Auburn.

Read more: http://huff.to/2mxB5am

from Every Episode Of Reza Aslan’s ‘Believer’ Will Piss Somebody Off (And It’s Awesome)

#Every Episode Of Reza Aslan’s ‘Believer’ Will Piss Somebody Off (And It’s Awesome)