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the-pen-and-the-stethoscope · 5 years

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my official, uninterrupted, unapologetic thoughts on the album Lover by Taylor Swift as i listen in its entirety at 6:30 am on Friday morning after working until 10 pm the night before.

Before I start I am already emotional. my hands are sweating. my heart is pounding. are those tears in my eyes or am i exhausted? idk. ok here we go...

1) fuck yes. snaps. love a song with snaps. A BEAUTIFUL BREAKUP SONG ABOUT HOW YOU JUST DONT EFING CARE ANYMORE. ahhh i love how there is like this build up and you think it’s going to be a headbanger of a chorus but then it just stops and it’s like...oh wait actually this is v calm right now i just dont care about you anymore. but also OMG SHE JUST LAUGHED ummm also I love how upbeat this is. i guess what im saying is that WANEGBT walked so I Forgot That You Existed could run.

2) MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this song will always bring me back to being on an airplane flying to Peru because it is literally the only song I listened for my entire trip to Peru last spring. but also from the moment it came out I was obsessed with the unapologetic happiness in the song and it’s all about YOURSELF. WAIT WTF WHERE’S THE SPELLING LINE THATS MY FAVORITE TO YELL????? TAYLOR WHERE IS IT??? WHERE IS IT??? i’ll be taking this up with my lawyers. your people will hear from my people.

3) well i just went back to my spotify and REALIZED THAT IT WAS ON FUCKING SHUFFLE FUCK ME. OK WE ARE STARTING AGAIN.

1) SECOND LISTEN THOUGHTS ON IFTYE: this song is just the perfect beat. i just realized that she laughs TWICE actually (maybe more??) and this is my official petition that she laughs during all live performances. thanks.

2) OMG REP VIBES WITH THAT LOW BASE SYNTH. oh wow I love this transition much more than the one to ME! I’m glad that was on shuffle the first time. This literally could be a REP song. GETAWAY CAR THAT’S WHAT IT REMINDS ME OF! OH. MY. GOD. WELL THANKS FOR PUTTING A REP SONG ON LOVER OK IM NOT OK. did she just say “loving you aint the worst thing...you are the worst!”? Idk I will evaluate the lyrics a second (third...fourth...fifth...) time.

3) AHHHH LOVER OMG OK LET ME JUST STARE AT MY CEILING FOR THIS ONE. “Swear to take this magnetic force of a man” is up there on favorite tswift lines. cant decide if i want this to my first dance song at my wedding OR the song that plays near the end of the reception when everyone is tired and like all the couples come up and dance and so then it’s like you get to see how many people are in love OR the song that i save for afterwards when we are alone in our hotel room. good to know i’ve got options.

4) god damn HERE WE GO WITH SOME REP VIBES. (to clarify any deep base pulsating beat is rep vibes to me apparently) lyrics: “they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to” “every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you” “they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” “I’D BE JUST LIKE LEO” GOD THIS IS AMAZING I’M OBSESSED. “If I was a man I’d be THE MAN”

5) OMG THE ARCHER. WAS LISTENING TO THIS LAST NIGHT AND THINKING LIKE....THIS MIGHT BE FAVORITE ONE????? I KNOW SO SO EARLY BUT SO FAR IT HOLDS UP IT’S JUST LIKE....THAT SLOW BUILD I LOVE IT. EVERY TIME I LISTEN THERE IS A DIFFERENT MEANING. AMAZING SONG TO RUN TO LIKE ON REPEAT. WHICH IS HARD TO FIND. PROBABLY HARDER TO MAKE. I STAN.

6) THERE YA GO MISS SWIFT WITH THE SNAPS AGAIN. ohhh hmmmm someone’s horneyyyyy this song feels like a whisper...like you’re at a bar and you are like pointing out this hot guy you’ve been seeing around and you whisper to your friend ‘that’s the one’. OMG BRIDGE. WAIT WHAT OMG WAIT OMG WHAT BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGEEEEEE. well okay I kinda feel like a huge wind just knocked me off my feet. i’m slightly stunned. no time to process before...

7) OMG TALK ABOUT REP VIBES. This could be a beautiful music video. This is like -- i have a lot of feelings none of them have words but this song has a BLACK vibe and a DARK vibe and i’m picturing a high school shrouded in clouds at night. running through the hallways in a ripped dress. Wow wow wow.

8) oh good some happy songs again. ahhhhhhhhh now THIS I CAN DANCE TO. AHHHHHHHHHHH I’M IN LOOVE. this is so freaking romantic. OH ANOTHER BRIDGE FROM BRIDGE CITY. Taylor like you brought it with these bridges girl. OMG THE SLOW FADE AWAY AT THE END...SOBBING.....

9) THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS I’M ONLY HALFWAY DONE. Oh wow is this song going to make me cry? just obsessed with how etherial this is. wow omg this is like the most complex love story ever written in a song ever. so many twists and turns i’m just sitting here asking questions!!! What happened on cornelia street that you dont want it again? why did you pack your bags? OH YAY HE GOT YOU TO COME BACK. OMG DOES EVERYONE HEAR THAT THUNDER EFFECT IN THE BACKGROUND???? omg wait omg that last line!? I will be listening to this A LOT.

10) I feel like taylor’s got a lot of happy sounding songs that are breakup songs and a lot of sad sounding songs that are actually about being in love on this album it’s so interesting!!! like this is a breakup song and wow everything about it is upbeat and pop-y. “trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up” (I FEEL THIS SO HARD WOW). love the boarded up house metaphors and like just everything else i CANT THINK FAST ENOUGH god idk why I committed to writing all my thoughts....

11) OMG SOMEONE WAS TALKING. ahhhhh she loves all these American things but she LOVES A LONDON BOY. “I GUESS ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE” power move!!!!! ASLDJALKDFLKJAGL;KADSLASDFLKASDFLKJ AS SOMEONE WHO LIVED IN AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CITY OF LONDON I’M JUST LOVING THAT THIS IS BASICALLY A LOVE SONG TO LONDON. FORGET THE BOY. ALL THESE LONDON REFERENCES ARE KILLING ME. (did she just name drop stella mccartney???? I HEARD THAT OKAY!?)

12) DIXIE CHICKS. IT’S A COUNTRY SONG I CAN ALREADY TELL. THE STRUMMING GUITAR. I’M DYING. wait is this about her mom???? ok well i’m crying.........wow so so so so so beautiful and soft and hopeful.

13) FIDDLEEEEEEEE oh short lived but omg that was exciting for a moment i thought we were gunna get a crazy country song. This is a good transition....the way this song starts soft and slow and doesn’t come in swinging feels appropriate after Soon You’ll Get Better. WOW. “Religion is your lips....the alter is my hips....” SEX. I’m glad this is not a country song. wow my head was in an odd place that will be weird to come back to after knowing what this song actually is about (it’s about sex)

14) YAS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. (it’s 7:40 am but we could have had greatnesssss) THIS SONG SERIOUSLY SLAPS. GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH. also true story - for like the first week after it came out I SWEAR I thought there was a lyric at some point that said “you’re freaking me out” and like I still think that one of the lyrics SHOULD be that so like I know I’m not a seven time Grammy award winging singer/song writer but like taylor can we change that? can we? MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS SONG IS THAT IT NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES LONGER.

15) ahhhhhhh omg shes like learning about holding onto love and not picking fights and growing through difficulty and not blowing up. (I’ve run out of ways to say omg this is amazing and i’m obsessed). but this is like a GREAT ballad.

16) BACK TO MEEEEEEEE I like it a lot better here phew thank god we were on shuffle before. I wanted the DJ to play this song at my friend’s wedding back in May (OMG NO MORE SPELLING LINE AHHHH) and they like wouldn’t??? so weird. I honestly think this is a self love song but also an amazing romantic love song and I think it belongs in a wedding playlist.

17) omg so cute...little best friend love. also i love how simple this song is. no big production. we are back to basics and child hood. AHH HORNS. I thought this song was going to be like TIWWCHNT but its just purely wholesome!!! She’s serious - it’s nice to have a friend! I agree!

18) LAST SONG AND ITS ALMOST FIVE MIN LONG MY BODY IS READY. This is just classic classic taylor swift and an amazing way to end the album. it’s like the conclusion paragraph of an essay on how she’s happy and content and in love with not just her lover but herself. the world used to be harsh, but now it’s just daylight. (another bridge city - just fyi - for those listening at home that’s where you are now) SHE IS SO HAPPY. “Step into the daylight and let it go” OMG SHES TALKING!!!!! WHERE IS THIS FROM??? IS THIS AN INTERVIEW OR IS IT NEW OMG WAIT WASN’T EXPECTING THAT ENDING WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

OKAY FRIENDS THAT WAS IT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND NOW I NEED TO LISTEN AGAIN AND AGAIN FOREVER AND ALWAYS. THANK YOU @taylorswift (@taylornation ) FOR TRUSTING US WITH SUCH A MAGICAL JOURNEY.

#TAYLOR SWIFT #HUNNAY #WE NEED TO TALK #LOVER #I'M OBSESSED #taylor nation #taylor swift lover

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theanxiousteenager1121 · 6 years

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My Musical List

ALL RIGHT KIDS LISTEN UP BECAUSE IM GONNA RANT ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE MUSICALS I HAVE SAVED ON SPOTIFY SO SIT DOWN

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: OKAY SO MAYBE I HAVENT LISTENED TO THE WHOLE THING BUT I CAME FOR PIPPA AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED AND THE WHOLE CAST IS AMAZING AND IDC WHAT PEOPLE SAY BUT THE NEW CAST IS GORGEOUS TOO AND IM PISSED THEY CLOSED AND I FEEL LIKE THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE IS UNDER APPRECIATED AND SO ARE THOSE HIGH NOTES FROM NO ONE ELSE

Les Miserables: A CLASSIC NEED I SAY MORE JESUS CHRISTZOUKKA THAT ENERGY FROM DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING GOT ME SCREECHING EVERY TIME AND I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD DO A MARCH ON TRUMPS LIL HOUSE SINGING THAT SONG ALSO ONE DAY MORE IS JUST GORGEOUS ESPECIALLY THOSE PEOPLE THAT FLASH MOBBED IT IN A MALL AND THE CAST DID IT ALL WITHOUT AUTOTUNE AND I DREAMED A DREAM LITERALLY DESCRIBES MY LIFE SO ITS GOOD FOR EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS

In the Heights: LINNNNN AND ALSO ITS THE REAL BOP THAT FIRST SONG GOT ME JAMMIN AND I CAN RAP DAT SPANISH SO IT GETS HECKIN LIT OVER HERE AND I KNOW I CAN’T HIT THE HIGH NOTES FROM BREATHE BUT I TRY AND ALABANZA GOT ME ON THE FLOOR THINKING OF ALL MY DREAMS AND HAPPINESS THAT DIED ALONG WITH ABUELA CLAUDIA AND ALSO WHY IS CHRIS JACKSON IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF LINS PROJECTS LIKE I DON’T BLAME HIM BUT THEY THE REAL FAM LET ME SAY

Amelie: WHY DID THIS MUSICAL CLOSE AFTER LITERALLY A MONTH IM FINNA FLIP A TABLE THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS LIKE MAYBE THE LYRICS WERE A LIL DIFFERENT BUT THAT WAS NOT AN EXCUSE TO SHUT IT DOWN BECAUSE TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS AND STAY ARE SOME OF THE ACTUAL BEST SONGS OUT THERE SO GET THAT MUSICAL BACK ONSTAGE OR SO HELP ME

The Book of Mormon: GOLLY GEE ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE BUT YOU CANT STOP BOPPIN TO THAT FANTASTIC MUSIC SO YOU REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT BUT I REACT BY TURNING IT UP AND JOSH GAD AND ANDREW RANNELLS ARE GODS AND IDK WHY THE HELL SOUTH PARK PEOPLE ARE ON BWAY BUT THEY SURE KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY DOING ON BWAY SO THEY CAN STAY AND ALSO ITS FLIPPIN HILARIOUS

Dear Evan Hansen: THATS NOT TEARS THATS JUST MY EYES RELATING TO THE LYRICS AND SWEATING

Hamilton: I CANNOT DO JUSTICE BECAUSE JUST THE IDEA OF THE PLAY, MAKING OUR FOUNDING FATHERS INTO A DIVERSE AND AMAZING CAST THAT SING TO RAP AND HIP-HOP IS PURE GENIUS AND THE MUSIC IS MY LIFE BUT THE ACTUAL STORY AND THE WAY HE TELLS IT ARE SO BEAUTIFUL SO THANK YOU LIN BECAUSE YOU AND THIS MUSICAL ARE A GIFT TO THE PLANET

Heathers: DEATH, SEX, DRUGS, AND HIGH SCHOOL, NEEDS TO COME BACK TO BROADWAY

Moana: YEA I KNOW IT AINT A STAGE MUSICAL BUT LIN WROTE IT AND IT REPRESENTS A RARELY REPRESENTED CULTURE ALONG WITH AMAZING AND CULTURAL MUSIC AND A CAST THAT IS POLYNESIAN AND NATIVE HAWAIIAN WITH INCREDIBLE TALENT AND A WONDERFUL EMPOWERING STORY LINE AND IF YOU DONT THINK IM SCREAMING MY LUNGS OUT EVERY TIME THAT LITTLE CHIMEY NOISE FROM THE BEGINNING OF HOW FAR ILL GO COMES ON THEN YOU ARE DEAD WRONG MY DUDE

Something Rotten: CHRISTIAN BORLE. TAP DANCING EGGS. BRIAN D’ARCY JAMES. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT AND IK PEOPLE THINK ITS WEIRD BUT I LOVE IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT REMINDS ME OF THIS WEIRD ANIMATED ROMEO AND JULIET I WATCHED WHEN I WAS YOUNGER FEATURING SEALS BUT THE LINE DONT BE A PENIS THE MAN IS A GENIUS REALLY RESONATED IN MY HEART

Waitress: ONLY RECENTLY INTRODUCED TO THIS ONE BUT YESSS SHE USED TO BE MINE GOT ME DEAD

Wicked: IF YOU THINK I DONT SCREAM MY VERY ORGANS OUT TO DEFYING GRAVITY OR KNOW THE DANCE MOVES TO POPULAR THEN YOURE WRONG

Falsettos: ANDREW RANNELLSSSSSS AND ALSO WHAT AN AMAZING MUSICAL BECAUSE ITS DIVERSE HAS GREAT MUSIC IS FUNNY AND SAD AND JESUS THE PLOT IS JUST GREAT AND THERE IS A SMOL CHILD UP THERE AND THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES WITHOUT A DOUBT

okay, that’s all. thank u

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tomhsparker · 7 years

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missing you - tom holland imagine #4

about : Tom is away at SDCC while promoting Spider-Man Homecoming. Things start to go downhill as a Facetime call ensues and jealousy arises.

Warnings : a teeny bit sad. drunk tom!

The ID caller showed up on your phone and you grinned, flopping down onto the bed as you answered the call. Tom’s smiling face filled your screen and you giggled, greeting him with a simple ‘hello Thomas’.

“Y/N! It’s crazy here!” Tom shouted, “I’ve never seen anything like this before! There were thousands of people on the panel it was insane!”

“Are you having fun?” You asked, a small yet tired simper reaches your lips.

“Loads! Everyone’s amazing! Laura is here, Jacob is here, Tony is here, oh and Zendaya is here too!” He continued to ramble on about how everyone had secretly arrived to the convention but your heart sank at her name.

Tom was an extremely sweet person, and he was definitely good-looking. Your biggest fear from letting him leave to Atlanta was him finding someone new. What if he found someone else prettier, smarter and better than you? Maybe he was already tired of you.

And it didn’t help that Zendaya was a part of your worry. She was the kind of girl you’d always want to be. She was gorgeous and successful, not to mention extremely talented. You let your insecurity get the best of you sometimes and you would always feel a bit glum whenever you saw them together. However, Tom wasn’t aware that you felt that way.

“Isn’t Zendaya pretty?” you piped up randomly, playing with the hem of your sweatpants.

“Yes, she is. Why?” Tom sounded confused. He looked at something behind the camera and he laughed, slapping his chest.

“Oh, that’s amazing, Z,” he chuckled before looking back at you on the phone, “sorry babe, were you saying something?”

You were about to say something before he interrupted you, laughing again and talking to someone you could only assume was Zendaya. You could hear her laughter too and you flinched, feeling annoyed. Anger and jealousy was already bubbling inside of you. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at how he was so oblivious to you on the phone as he dropped his phone to his side so all you could see was his pants.

This was the first time in days he had facetimed you, and you felt so put off by how he wasn’t even paying attention to you.

Pissed off, you pressed the end call button hardly, ending the facetime. You put your phone beside you and picked up your laptop, trying to calm yourself down.

It seemed like the world wanted to rub everything in your face when you clicked on a random song on your spotify. Everything I’m Not by The Veronicas came on and you gasped, throwing up your arms in anger.

“Oh, come on!” You yelled at no one in particular.

The song blasted on your speakers and you sighed, letting it play.

Your phone beeped once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Tom’s face popped up on the screen, indicating a call coming in from him.

You ignored it, letting the ringtone play amongst the loud tunes of The Veronicas.

It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. This time you decided to decline the call.

A text came in. You peeked.

Tom x : babe, what’s up? u just hung up?

10. 50 pm

Tom x : y/n? Im gonna call u again.

10. 52 pm

Tom x : why did u decline the call?

10. 58 pm

Tom x : did i do something wrong?

11. 05 pm

You snorted, picking up your phone and typing a quick reply.

Me : idk ask zendaya lmao

Me : im gonna sleep. Have fun at comic con.

Just as you were about to put away your phone, it vibrated.

Tom x : I think I know what’s going on. Are you jealous of Z?

11.08 pm

Tom x : I hope you know I love you, and that I will never eye another girl that’s not you. I understand how you feel, I get sad whenever I think of all the other boys that are with you everyday. So i dont blame you. But you can trust me love. I promise.

11.09 pm

Tom x : z and i are just friends, nothing more babe. Im way too in love with you. Also im sorry if ive been distant. I miss you so much and i havent been able to really talk to you. Ive been very busy with work and everything else i just idk i feel really guilty now.

11.11 pm

Tom x : call me back when u wanna talk. Im sorry, i love you. Xx

11.13 pm

You sighed, giving in. You could tell he was feeling really crappy about it as you watched a livestream of the convention. Marvel was holding a livestream for the interviews and you saw Tom pop up in the screen when you opened the website.

His eyes were downcast even though he had a small smile on his face. Tom was less energetic and gave the interviewer half-assed answers. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms and he fidgeted a lot on his feet.

His iPhone was gripped tightly in his hand, and every few seconds he went to check it.

Probably for my reply, you thought.

When the interviewer ended, you saw him walk away from the camera. The interviewer was about to interview Lupita Nyong’o next when another text from Tom came in.

Tom x : love i really am sorry. maybe u went to sleep already. Im sorry. I love you. Goodnight. Xx

11.25 pm

“Meh screw it,” you mumbled, pressing the call icon on his contact name.

He picked it up immediately after the third ring.

“Hello?” he said quickly.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, slumping on the bed, “sorry, I just got jealous. I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that.

“It’s just..I miss you so much Tom. And we haven’t facetimed in so long and.. I don’t know I was pretty pissed off by how you weren’t paying attention to me.”

“I know, I know,” you could hear his guilt from across the line, “I’m really sorry. There’s just been a lot going on right now.”

You sighed, “okay, now go and have fun. We can talk more later. I’m not mad at you anymore so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, I’ll be fine,” You lied through your teeth, even mustering a fake smile.

Tom hummed, before speaking again, “I’ll call you when you wake up. I love you so much, Y/N. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight,” you mumbled back as you hit the ‘end call’.

Grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed, you clutched it tightly into your chest as sobs began to rack through your body. The tears didn’t stop flowing, even after half an hour.

You’d think he would notice that you really weren’t okay.

You missed him so much.

And it already felt like, to you, he was slowly drifting away.

The next morning was horrendous. You woke up to the feel of your soggy pillow and puffy eyes. Rubbing your face, you snuggled further into your duvet.

There was no way you were going out today. Your heart felt the heaviest it had felt in a long time and nothing seemed to motivate you to get out of bed.

You missed him too much.

Making calls to everyone, you apologised for not feeling well and rescheduled everything.

Nothing mattered more than the ache in your heart. If your mind wasn’t in the game, there would be no point in getting into the game in the first place.

You decided to check your notifications and was surprised by the amount of texts Tom had sent in.

Tom x : Good morning, babe. I hope you slept well. I’m out here in San Diego, in some bar. Missing you. 💛

7.30 am

Tom x : I hope you’re not angry anymore. It’s been bothering me the whole day. I’m still sorry.

7.45 am

Tom x : baEb i lpve you si much…….im sorry yoi think i luv zebdaya….i dont… i love you im sorry

8.30 am

Tom x : jacOb says in Drunk! Haha@ he keeps tellinf me that i should go homE

8.35 am

Tom x : i sAid wherE? LonDon? He saiD no You IdioT the Hotel

8.36 am

Tom x : i saiD it aInt HoME UNLESS y/n is wit me

8.38 am

Tom x : jeusu chrisy i lovw you

9.00 am

Tom x : i jusT PUKED I WISH YORE HERE Y/N YOU MAKe me FEEL BETTER

9.28 am

Tom x : I MISS YOUUUY

9.35 am

You stared at the screen, taking it all in.

Tom got drunk last night.

Yet, all his words seemed so sincere. Just before you could exit the chat, a new message came in.

Instead, this was from Harrison.

Haz O : hey y/n, i think you probably read the drunk texts tom has been sending. just want to tell you. tom has been drinking a lot for the past 2 hours. he’s upset, y/n. after he puked on the sidewalk, he cried. he cried about how much he missed you and how he didn’t deserve you. that you lie when you say you’re okay. he said that it would be easier if you both broke up. you could find someone better. so, stop being mad at tom. there's nothing going on between z and tom. If they did, i would've told you. he’s feeling so guilty for no reason.

You felt hot tears gathering at the side of your eyes. He was beating himself up because of your jealousy. Guilt took over you as you fumbled to type out a quick reply. A plan was already forming in your head and although it involved a lot of money, you knew it would help in fixing this problem.

It was probably too reckless and spontaneous, but you had enough of missing Tom and clearly, Tom was sick of missing you too.

You : I’m getting on the next flight to San Diego. Take care of Tom for me. x

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one-shots #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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