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#isnt that just a comedy safety book
mikamanga · 2 months
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need to catch up with this manga but what about this is such a good gift that it is the most gifted manga
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imbumkyung · 5 years
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I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch.4) - Acting
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
Warnings: none!
“Well the good news is, the cast should only be on for about a month, and you can go back to regular activities within eight weeks,” the blonde, golden eyed doctor advised.
The room you were sat in was glum. You remember it this exact way from the movie. Dr. Cullen’s hair swept back with a white coat on, eyes focused on the document in front of him being held by a clip board. We was writing things down, probably prescribing her some medications or as her friends liked to call it— hardcore drugs.
Kai reminisced that comedy segment that John Mulaney did about lying to his doctor for Xanax. She considered the same trick on Dr. Cullen, but feared that he would deny her since marijuana and other drugs were still taboo in 2007. Still, her mouth ran faster than she could process.
“Hey uh, sometimes I get nervous on airplanes,” she stated
God. I have to blame my ADHD on that one.
“Ah,” he nodded, “well I hope you won’t be going on any airplanes anytime soon then,” Dr. Cullen replied with a smile
Dammit. No Xanax for me then.
He finished writing but not without leaving a signature at the bottom of the page and sending me off with a smile. As she was leaving the room, she happened up bump straight into the hardest and coldest figure she’d ever felt.
“Sh— sorry man,” she apologized. She looked up for a split second and instantly regretted when she did
Edward
His eyes narrowed, making her feel smaller, “I remember you,” he stated
She said nothing, but ducked her head and rushed away as fast as she could. Her sense of accomplishment for getting away was cut short by a cold hand wrapped around her upper right arm. At this, she tensed and gave him a cold look.
“It’s not nice to grab people,” she spat
“How do you know who I am?” He asked gently
“The last time someone asked me that I got this,” she raised the cast on her left forearm. Unknowlingly revealing she knew about Victoria as well. The sound of her screaming in pain and the events of Victoria effortlessly snapping her arm played in her head.
“Besides,” she shrugged her arm from his grasp, “I’ll be out if your way soon”
Unwillingly, she remembered the time she tried to kill herself back to go back to her normal life and the next image that flashed in her head was her driving at over 100mph, then closing her eyes and sealing her fate. It wasn’t a set-in-stone kind of plan, but it was an idea that came up on the spot.
Edward cringed, “that— that’s not neccessary,”
“What’s not neccessar— oh. Stay out of my head please,” she remembered, he can hear her thoughts, but she wasn’t aware that any form of imagery would translate for him.
“You know I can read your thoughts,” he stated.
“Look, I’d love to explain everything, but I really gotta go. My mom needs me home to uh...” she paused, scrambling in her head for an excuse “take care of my brother— Don’t speak to me if you ever run into me again. Please,” she walked out of the hospital as fast as she could, deciding she didn’t need any of the medication. She just needed to get away.
-
Needless to say, Kai was stressed. Stressed that she’s attracted so much attention from the characters. Stressed that said characters had even seen her. It put her in danger. Victoria even knows about her now, and now that another human besides Bella knows of their existence— it’s a crime to the bloodsuckers.
Upon realizing this, Kaileia’s eyes widened.
Her knowledge of them had been exposed to two vampires. Theres no one to protect her from this— Bella’s safety was secured because Edward was her mate. Kai had no one. She’d avoided becoming friends with anybody at all in fear that any connection would lead her to the vampires or the wolves.
Slamming open the door to her bedroom, she scrambled for the journal she bought months back. It had been weeks since she last documented her experiences, but after today, it was time for an update
“Victoria caught me today and broke my arm bro. At least it was my shitty arm. I havent had an actual conversation with anyone besides Jeremy who interviewed me for the job I have now. Carlisle fixed my arm as if theres no other god damn doctors in forks dAMMIT MEYER. Then edward radiated some REAL Serial killer energy today like hOLY SHIT he can read my thoughts. I just wanna go back to where my only problem was my mom. She wasnt even that much of a problem tho tbh. But its Not like blood sucking vampires and their werewolf enemies. Kendrick Lamar isnt even famous yet. No one knows who Chance the Rapper is. Everyones obsessed with the pussycat dolls and I dont even think they know about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. At this point, I’ve definitely missed the area 51 raid and I’m disappointed.
Not gonna lie tho, I’ve been running from it all this time and it’s worked until now. I was faced with just the greatest danger ever and now I’m getting sucked in. I’m really hoping I never have to mean anything to them. I’m also wondering what happens after it’s all over? I don’t want to write what it is here, because if someone finds this I don’t want to change the future, but after that last chapter, where do I go? I can’t live here forever. I have my own life.
I wonder if my dogs miss me. If anyones feeding them the right amount, walking them twice a day. Do my parents know I’m gone? Its been over half a year and I’m still here”
Her hand started cramping and she shut her book, flinging her pen across the opposite side of the room, thought instantly regretting it because she may think of other ideas to write down. Kai lay flat on her bed, letting go of any control she had over her muscles and stared at the ceiling. Things were starting to get a lot more intense. It had her shaken that she might have to be involved in order to stay safe.
There was no evidence supporting her theory, but Kai believed in order to go back to her old life, she cannot die by the hands of another person.
(Fourth wall break)Yes, it’s a plot hole. Smeyer had a lot of those too and I’m writing this impulsively. Give me a break
-
Edward pushed open Carlisle’s office door with force, “She knows,” he stated urgently, his expression stoic but panicked.
Carlisle furrowed his brows, “who?”
“That patient you just had,” Edward said, pointing back to the door behind him with his thumb, “She knows about us. I was in her head. Victoria broke her arm,” He rushed, taking a step toward Carlisle with wide eyes.
Carlisle’s eyes widened as well, “She’s in danger,” he stated
“We have to protect her,” Edward stated, “if Victoria kills her, the treaty is compromised,” He concluded, alluding to the treaty they had with the wolves.
Carlisle paused, trying to collect his thoughts, “I think this calls for a house meeting, actually,” he suggested, now standing with his arms to his side, “I can tell this concerns you, Edward.”
“I don’t want a fight with the wolves,” Edward explained, “Jacob was here for Bella while I was in Italy. He’s the one who told me she was dead,” he paused, Carlisle listening intently to his son, “I know if we fight, he’ll come for me first. And I can’t hurt Bella like that.”
Carlisle nodded, “We’ll let the rest of them know,” he said, referring to his family, “I think it’s best if the wolves know to protect her as well,” he suggested
“She doesn’t want to be involved,” Edward said, “it was the last thing she wanted. I don’t want to drag her into this life as well.” Edward was still beating himself up for bringing Bella into his world. Weather she wanted to be in it or not, he still wanted her to keep a normal human life. And if a normal human life is what Kai wanted, then damn it, he was going to let her have it
-
“So theres another human?” Rosalie seethed
“It’s not her fault—” Carlisle interjected
“It’s not her fault? Not her fault that she found out about us? How could she figure it out without dedicating so much time into figuring us out?” She accused the girl they didn’t know about. She knew Bella only found out because of the loads of research she did.
“She didn’t,” Edward defended, taking a step closer, “I don’t know how she knows, but she does. She doesn’t even want to be involved in this life,” he said gently, keeping eye contact with Rosalie
“So what do we do?” Esme asked, “If the Volturi find out she knows about our kind, they have no one to accuse except us. We’re the only coven in Washington.” She said softly
Everyone was staring hard at the ground, trying to grant Kai’s wish of not becoming involved, all the while knowing that the only real way to protect her was to stay with her at all times.
“She at least needs to know the that Victoria won’t stop,” Alice said, “she knows the Volturi would either blame her or us for exposing our kind.”
Carlisle pressed his lips in a tight line, “I’m sure she knows.” He sighed. Everyone shared quick glances before staring back to the floor in concentration, desperately trying to come up with a solution.
“She’ll need to get out of Forks,” Alice concluded, “Victoria is only here for Bella, I don’t think she’ll go for the girl until after her plan for Bella.” Alice believed Victoria was really only hungry for revenge, and this unknown girl wouldn’t be in danger until Victoria got what she wanted with her. However, Alice had no doubts that Victoria would be defeated before even having the chance to get to the girl.
“What’s her name?” Esme asked, “so we don’t have to keep calling her “the girl””
Edward shrugged, “I don’t know, actually.” He described her instead, “she’s short, black hair, tan skin and freckles” he recalled.
Carlisle nodded, the same description in his mind
Alice froze, and stared off into the distance, “It’s Victoria.”
Everyone stood alert. Alice was having a vision.
“What? What about her?” Jasper asked, his eyes not leaving hers.
“She’s in La Push” Alice sat, her eyes unmoving. Jasper handed her a pen as she sketched a store on one half of the paper writing “Minnie’s Stop” above it. Within a second, she moved her hand to the right, sketching out a house at the corner of a row of houses reading “Hilltop Rd”.
Edward’s brows knitted and shook his head slowly, “That’s not Bella’s street.”
“It has to be hers,” Esme said
Alice looked ahead incredulously, “she’s not going for Bella.” Alice snapped out of her vision, “If she was going for Bella, I would have seen something familiar.” This proved their theory wrong. She spared some time before getting to Bella. Why did she prioritize catching the unknown girl over avenging her mate?
The Cullens shared silent glances, knowing all too well that Victoria was hunting down the girl.
“She goes to La Push. We have to inform Sam.” Carlisle said sternly. He turned to Edward, “I understand you want to protect her from this world, but we can’t risk anything happening to her on their territory.”
Edward nodded and sighed. As opposed as he was to the idea, he knew Carlisle was right. He grabbed the keys off the table and bid his family goodnight, before leaving to spend the night at Bella’s
-
“You said she already knew who you were?” Bella asked concerned, a hand on his chest, her eyebrows together and eyes looking straight into his own
“Yeah,” he exhaled, “not just who but... what.”
Bella was confused, “how?”
“I wish I knew. She refuses to speak to me and guards her thoughts. Every time I try to read in, she stops saying things in her head,” he paused, “She knew I could read minds”
“Do you think there could be other... creatures besides your kind and Jacobs?” Bella asked, just above a whisper, “like— she could be a fairy or something,” she chuckled a bit, shaking her head at the idea.
“She was kind of short,” Edward shrugged and smiled at the memory of looking down at someone the size of a fifth grader.
“Get some sleep. We’re going to meet with Sam tomorrow and tell him everything. Alice saw Victoria hunting her down in La Push.” Edward advised and let her know their plans for tomorrow.
Bella nodded before snuggling closer to his chest and finally dozing off
———
WHOOP CH 4 IS HERE!!!
Let me know what you guys think!!
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Its open for anything really
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Tags: @coffees-and-constellations @rosalies-hale @sunflowerspectre
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What are your thoughts on the sorta parody horror movies? Think Scary Movie, Little Evil, Tuck & Dale, y màs? If you've seen these or others how have u liked/disliked them?
hmm actually i HAVE seen little evil, which is surprising b/c usually you have to list off like fifty movies to hit one that ive seen. it was pretty fun & i mean i also was watching it with someone else so i think that made it more fun. like, i think of parody horror as comedy films foremost even though they can have the horror framework at certain parts, which isn’t at all bad, just a distinction i have in my head between those kinds of movies and the rarer like, “comedic horror” kinds of films
i have some thought i cant really construct that neatly but its along the lines of how good horror should be overall unpredictable, and if there’s stuff so clichéd / overdone / Known that it can be made fun of, its probably a good idea to reconsider using the same old approaches the same horror concepts and all…like some good joking around abt stuff can basically be a way to explore flaws in even the most “classic” horror elements. letting a movie use horror concepts without being a horror movie is a great way to explore / strip down those concepts in a way straightforward horror movies couldnt do half so well.
plus imo comedy and horror work just fine together, and its a lot of fun to have “genre aware” characters, even though regular horror genre movies dont usually do that very much at all :(
i mean im all about how comedy and horror are two approaches to the same concept of the unexpected and the departure from “safety,” and how looking at one genre through the lens of the other is a good way to analyze both, and like its fun to try to Translate stuff like figure out how to turn something funny into a horror concept…the other way around can be more difficult though lol coz i dont think its a quite lossless conversion from one to the other or anything
i dont have much experience with Comedic Horror since i tend to want to go for just regularass horror vibes, and ive seen some like parody horror short videos or books but thats about it. i think i like the comedy/horror mix mostly in theory / analysis, which isnt to say that i dislike it in practice, just that i dont tend to seek it out. im all distrustful of random horror/comedy movies alike, whether either will be Actually funny/scary or if it’ll just be predictable. but who doesn’t like to joke around abt something they really like, so yanno i love the idea of using a kind of parody approach to maybe explore an unexplored weak point in some standard horror trope and make things have to be a bit more creative than the usual take on things
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