#it always throws me lmfao

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this past week its just been a constant cycle of *normal normal normal* OH FUCK THE SITE UPDATE IS NEARLY UPON US *has to sit down and breathe*

#what will we see... what will we learn... #screaming sobbing throwing up #almost literally! im so hyped im a little nauseous! only a Bit! #i need to calm down! im being too abnormal about it!! #i cant even finish my plate of pickles rn because i Remembered #and now i cant do anything but sit here and vibrate from excitement #deep breaths.... deep breaths.... #absolutely unprompted #i mean feeling physically sick from excitement is not entirely atypical for me #it always makes me feel a lil unwell! whether that excitement is negative like having to drive a Distance #or positive like looking forward to an event! #im gonna feel a lil like throwing up! #its a good discomfort i swear #that being said. #if we get voice lines i might actually have to go for a walk around the block to cool off lmfao

[blood-choke]

hiiii… i wanted to ask more about this particular val scene where mc and her talk about that portrait and mc is a bit stuck on the word husband and wants val to know theyre not a man. can i ask what inspired that type of convo? i wanted to know if it’s something you’ll touch up on again? is this underlying feelings mc had before their entombment… worried that val sees them as a man just because mc is masc? cause i know that’s kind of broader discussion in the lesbian community iirc….. was that why you wanted to incorporate it? this ask has so many questions LOL but basically i wanted to say i was intrigued and it did made me think more on those type of dynamics (thinking back to those resources you rb’d a while ago that go more into depth about diff things in the lesbian community)

oh boy get ready for another long-winded answer from me!

a lot of the feelings mc has about their gender are inspired by Leslie Feinberg's work (mainly Stone Butch Blues)

Feinberg was someone who lived & passed as a man for years of hir life, and wrote a lot about the complexities of hir gender and what it was like being a "gender outlaw."

there was actually a scene in particular from sbb that kinda put the kernel of an idea in my mind that led to this narrative of the mc feeling overshadowed by Standard and anxious about being perceived as a man. it's towards the end of the book when Jess (sbb's protagonist) meets Ruth (a trans woman that Jess falls in love with)

Jess offers to help Ruth carry groceries up to her apartment, and Ruth takes this the wrong way & is offended, partly because she thinks Jess is a man.

One Saturday afternoon I found her clutching two huge bags of groceries and fumbling with the downstairs front-door lock. I pulled out my key.

“Here, let me.” She didn’t say thank you. She hurried ahead of me on the stairs.

“Can I help you carry those?” I offered.

“Do I look weak to you?” she asked.

I stopped on the stairs. “No. Where I come from it’s just a sign of respect, that’s all.”

She continued up the stairs. “Well, where I come from,” she called out, “men don’t reward women for pretending to be helpless.” Once I heard her apartment door close I kicked the stair in anger and frustration.

later, after they get to know each other better, they have this interaction:

I laughed and picked at my salad. “Do you know if I’m a man or a woman?”

“No,” Ruth said. “That’s why I know so much about you.”

I sighed. “Did you think I was a man when you first met me?" She nodded. "Yes. At first I thought you were a straight man. Then I thought you were gay. It’s been a shock for me to realize that even I make assumptions about sex and gender that aren’t true. I thought I was liberated from all of that.”

I smiled. “I didn’t want you to think I was a man. I wanted you to see how much more complicated I am. I wanted you to like what you saw.”

i think the inspiration here is quite obvious, hahaha. i figure anyone that's read sbb can sense the similar through-line here in my work. though the conversation between mc and Valentina has a much different tone.

there's another scene later as well after something happens to Jess and she has to have her jaw wired shut. she's working at a new job and is unable to speak, and she's also passing as a man at this job. she overhears some of her female coworkers talking about her and they refer to her as a "creep" and speculate that she's always watching one of them. Jess overhears all of this and then walks out of the job, goes home and pulls the wires out of her mouth herself:

After I was sure I’d gotten the last piece of wire out of my gums, I rinsed my mouth with whiskey and then drank the rest of it so I could sleep without remembering how Marija’s words had stripped me of my humanity.

butches & gnc women still face this kind of dehumanization; compared or likened to men in a derogatory way, accused of being "heteropatriarchal," the predatory stereotype of the fat ugly lesbian, and on the other side they're also hypersexualized, especially online and in queer spaces. butchphobia is a specific kind of misogyny that hits from all sides, even from the people that are supposed to be a part of your community. and this attitude especially effects trans women and women of color, who are already experiencing all of these things due to transmisogyny and racism.

i also really wanted to use this to touch on the kind of gender essentialism that we see in a lot of these cis feminist discussions - to these women at this job, Jess had committed no real crime other than being quiet and being the “wrong” kind of man. something about this scene has always stuck with me and really bothered me, but it's hard to put into words; on one hand i can admit i have probably been one of those women who made some kind of similar remark about a man i barely knew, but i've also been someone on the receiving end, too, because of the way i look. the mc in blood choke is put into this box, but they can't fit in, as someone who has been on both sides and doesn't really understand where they belong because of it; how can she stand beside Valentina or Hana or Clear when they might see her as a perpetrator, someone who can't be trusted? how does this mindset harm both the women and the men of the council and everyone in between? how can we break this cycle?

one of the films i mentioned recently when talking about the character designs was The Same Difference, which is specifically about the Black lesbian community and the discrimination within that community based upon gender roles (though this is not something limited to just the Black lesbian community)

a lot of the women in that doc talk about the boxes they're put in as AG or stud lesbians - they can't have their hair long, they can't wear makeup, they can't do this or that, they have to be aggressive and hard or else they're not real studs. they discuss stud on stud (or butch4butch) and how other lesbians look down on those types of lesbians, as well as the disdain for bisexual women for "betraying" the community. it explores the way misogyny and the patriarchy still oppress these women and forces them into this restrictive gender role despite their refusal to adhere to the other role originally assigned to them, and the way racism specifically intersects and exacerbates it for Black lesbians. there's a stud that's an exotic dancer and wears a weave, and a lot of other studs have a problem with this because a weave is "a female thing." another section follows a pregnant stud, and how the community shuns her for that, because she "dresses like a man and acts like a man" so why is she getting pregnant when she should be "the man"?

mc doesn't remember how they felt before entombment, but waking up they feel this need to prove themselves - both in that they are hard and aggressive like a butch should be, but also in that they want to be this person for Valentina or Clear or Hana (or all of them) that is safe and comforting. but they aren't sure how to do that when the world perceives them as this one specific thing - as a husband, as Standard, as a man, specifically this man who hurt Valentina.

of course we've already seen this to not be true of the companions with the last chapter as the mc learns more and spends more time with everyone. but this is kind of the foundation of where this whole idea came from. it started with my novel & i chose vampires for that story & this one because there is a long history of lesbian vampirism (and also because it's sexy) but there's this "curse" that both Hana & Valerie talk about in their respective stories, the first one being the racism she's had to face, the transphobia, along with this alienation and perception of lesbians as predatory and conniving and aggressive, as vampires, which i just think really lends itself to expanding upon these issues lesbians & trans women face both in general and within the community.

anyways if you want to read more i suggest Stone Butch Blues, which you can get for free on Leslie Feinberg's website, as well as S/he, by Minnie Bruce Pratt, available on the internet archive, Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote & Rae Spoon also on the internet archive, and you can rent The Same Difference for $10 on vimeo.

#im gonna be real idk if this makes sense to anyone but me. lmfao #but basically leslie feinberg is a huge inspiration for me #and just exploring the way homophobia and transphobia and misogyny all intersect when someone is gnc #and the expectations put on them #i think about butch al a lot and the things she says to jess and the way that section of the book plays out #and then in the end when the cops raid the bar #al and jess are fags except for what the cops did to al and the way they dehumanize her #how the mc is considered a man in certain instances - when the girls throw a brick at her or when the woman yells at her in the bathroom #or when atlas shakes hands with her and calls her their man #but other times she's a 'proper lady' with V or when that man gives her and Hana a dirty look in the elevator #or when cassius says 'ladies first' #mc is always one or the other whatever is convenient and degrades her the most in the moment #you know? #i dont know. im just saying stuff #basically i want to explore these gendered expectations & stereotypes and how they harm someone vulnerable like mc #how they feel alienated even from V & hana & clear for not being butch enough #but also for being butch and trans in the first place and feeling like an infiltrator #ask #anonymous

[crybaby-bkg]

“Can you help me with this, please?” You ask gently, chin jutting in Dabi’s direction. Your eyes are still glued to the task at hand, but you finally look up when a few beats of silence pass. Dabi’s looking at you from across the table, arms folded, resting the lower half of his face behind his forearms. His eyes are bright in the dimmed light of the living room, and his gaze is enthralling when it snaps from your hands to your eyes.

He doesn’t answer still, as he watches you. Bounces from you tying the party balloons, back to your face, to the other balloons scattering the floor, your face again. He inhales slowly, before sitting up, stretching his arms like a feral turned house cat. He reaches across the table with nimble fingers, grabbing for a balloon, and blows it up with his mouth despite the helium tank sitting a foot away from the balloons.

You blink at him a few times, taking him in—his low lids, tautly pulled mouth, the bored expression on his face, his slumped shoulders. Your head tilts as you place the balloon you just blew up between your legs to keep from floating away, frowning at him.

“What cogs are turning in that pretty little head of yours?” You ask, smiling faintly when he chuckles at you. Dabi blows up another balloon with his mouth before he answers you with a shrug.

“A lot, and nothing at the same time.” He grunts after a while. “Don’t worry about it too much, angel. Shouldn’t be occupied with my shit on your birthday.” Dabi tries placating you with the nickname, but you don’t budge.

“But if there’s something up with you, I can’t celebrate wholly.” You confess, tying a string to the balloon in your lap, gaze focused on him after you let it float to the ceiling.

“And why’s that?”

“Because I feel guilty celebrating myself knowing,” you stop yourself, mouth clamped shut, but you don’t look away from him. Dabi fixes you with a look, his mouth twisted, already knowing what words you were about to spill. He sighs after a long while, shoulders slumping, running a hand down his face.

“I shouldn’t be,” he stops himself, pauses for a long while, eyes fixated on the decorations in front of him. “I never got this whole, you know, shebang growing up. I just don’t know how to—to do this whole thing. Birthdays and decorations and celebrations, and shit.”

“You could always learn with me.” You tell him, barely a beat passing before you answer him. Your eyes are full of such sweetness, sincerity, and it makes his chest ache a little. You’re always so full of hope whenever it comes to him, so full of grace and understanding. How could you pass so much kindness onto a person so bitter like him? He can barely be happy that it’s your birthday without thinking about his own past.

And yet, you grab his hand and smile at him. Throughout the afternoon you hand him streamers and tape and which candles to get from the drawer to light. You help him find his best outfit for the party and bring him into the conversation every time your friends talk. You hold his hand while you’re sung to and squeeze it so tight when you blow out your candles.

He doesn’t understand your grace, but he’s thankful for it. Even if it’s just a tiny bit.

#birthday posts bc I thot about him Friday and it made me sad lmfao #bc I know he was never celebrated properly when he was just a baby!!!! #it probably always tense #always scared someone/he would say or do something wrong and ruin everything #always tense and a little strung tight despite natsuo’s efforts to better it #and then after he ‘dies’ he doesn’t really celebrate it again #especially not properly #toga and twice probably throw together a lil rinky dink party but :((( #I JUST SO SAD FOR HIM!!!! #okay bye I’m gonna go write a bkg piece 🏃🏽‍♂️ THATS GONNS BE SAD TOO IM SORRY #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dabi treats! 🍬

[frecklystars]

hey have you heard of the adventure time Fiona and Cake spin off? the trailers and sneak peaks dropped recently, and it's going to be airing on August 31!

I SCREAMED. PRINCE GUMBALL MY BELOVED??? HE LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭 I HOPE NPH RETURNS TO VOICE HIM AGAIN AHHH!!!! I LOVE THAT HE'S SURROUNDED BY BAKERY STUFF IN A COFFEE SHOP LIKE HE'S TRUE TO HIS ORIGINAL CONCEPT ART HE'S ALWAYS MEANT TO BE INTO BAKING AND SWEETS 🥺🥺 OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM AND HIS JELLYBEAN EYEBROWS I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUUUUUCH

AND LOOK AT FIONNA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SHE GIVES ME SUCH BEE AND PUPPYCAT VIBES, TEMP WORKER WANTING TO ESCAPE INTO ANOTHER WORLD WITH HER WEIRD CAT. AUGH LOOK AT HOW PRETTY HER HAIR IS. SHE IS SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL

AND MARSHALL LEE????????????? THE LITTLE BAT ON HIS GUITAR??????????????????

CATCH ME AUGUST 31ST FUCKING FREAKING IT

#anonymous #asks #ALSO IM SO SO SO HAPPY YOU ASKED ME!!!!!!!!!!!! #I USED TO BE SO. [clenches fists] SO INTO ADVENTURE TIME #I had a blog dedicated to my OC Water Princess who i shipped with Finn #AND FIONNA #and I know I'm gonna draw Rainy with Fionna again like the old days #YOU KNOW IM GONNA DRAW MYSELF W/ MY BISEXUAL BOYFRIENDS #PG AND ML.................... oh my god i loved PG so much he was my number one main F/O at one point #and now I can't wait to throw myself back into that #hmm. well. wait. are they still adults in this series or are they changing the boys to be teenagers #PG and ML were always adults like PB and Marcy but. new show. idk if they're still adults?? #[squints] i have a feeling theyre ALL adults bc it looks like Fionna lives by herself #....... #eh I guess we'll find out #if they all turn out to be teenagers then of course disregard everything i said entirely lmfao #but either way I will be drawing Fionna with Rainy again. u can mark my WORDS #Water Princess loves her fun blonde adventurer significant other #OH MY GOD WHAT WOULD RAINY LOOK LIKE IN THIS WORLD. HER NAME WOULDNT BE RAINY #wait no Rainy is genderfluid she WOULD absolutely name herself after a weather pattern. but it'd be spelled Rani or smth #also watch this series make me finally take the plunge to ship with Simon #he looks like a complete WRECK i cant wait to see him falling apart #TOM KENNY GIVE ME THAT BEAUTIFUL VOICE ACTING #anon you made my day im so happy you wanted to ask me ;w;

[piplupod]

my method of "getting better" has just been Do Everything Possible and latch onto whatever gives you any sense of purpose and/or joy. and i guess it's been working because i am definitely not in quite the same place that i was a few yrs ago

#like i have tried so many things #any opportunity for trying a thing that is supposed to be helpful is met with ''yeah sure why not'' #counselors love me for it LMFAO #''its impressive that you're willing to try these things :)'' girl if i dont then I'll kill myself. it's not gonna hurt me to try #if it goes badly then i have a breakdown and maybe hurt myself but then i immediately move onto the next thing #and i can always draw shitty art. thats always there for me. i can rotate my OCs in my brain. i can watch a show or listen to a podcast #those are always available if nothing else works out #and maybe it helps that i have a deadline of ''if life is still intolerable by x time then you can kill urself'' dhfjdkl #operating by that makes me want to put in more effort bc theres a time limit #also doing all these things has given me a sense of identity outside of having irl ppl around me #i couldnt control that for a long time (very very very lucky to have joined the old lady group recently) so i had to make do #and it is hard and it is scary and it is very often nearly unbearably lonely. but when u throw urself headfirst into ur own stuff #then u don't focus so much on the Aloneness of it all. and also u get to post abt ur hobbies and stuff and make friends online that way #idk !!! it is a hard spot to pull urself out of but taking a single step at a time is incredibly helpful #trying things and doing things and keeping on trucking gets u thru it one way or another #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide mention

[soupzardous]

Reading a tntduo fic and seeing the name Alex/Alexis instead of Quackity or some related nickname is like when you touch the gross stuff while washing dishes.

Like wdym Alex? Who’s that? All I know is silly little duck man who kisses old depressed zombie.

#no offense to those who write it like that #it just always throws me off everytime lmfao #tntduo #tntblr #dsmp #quackbur #cquackity #cwilbur #tnt duo #dreamsmp #c!tntduo #quackity #soup spills

[dottores]

ahhhh the sudden awareness of where you stand with people my beloathed </3

#never fails to hit hard but #i am glad that it happens #i must go do my readings for tomorrow #i shall see you all in the morning or after classes #i will say it doesnt hurt as much as it used to nor do i feel like angry or anything — is this me actually finally fully maturing? #ur little miss cat is growing as a person guys #remember when i used to throw tantrums on the dash when i got upset #actually dont remember that LMFAO #no but for real i think its crazy how much my general mentality has shifted with the start of law school #i think i became chronically online while i was stuck home for a year #jk lol but honestly its changed so much of my perspective on things way beyond just legal matters #i rmr so many people telling me that law school fundamentally changes you as a person but i did not believe it #but here i am a month and a half in fundamentally changing as a person #one thing that will never change is that i shall always make a small post with a million tags dissecting all of my inner thoughts #sometimes i wonder how many people read to the end #comment the number 7 if u got this far #LMFAO

[kittycak3s]

I hate that I'm being made responsible for coping with and "forgiving" abusive behavior just to protect myself.

I'm tired of being fucking "understanding". I'm tired of my survival being dependent on how much I'm able to take. I'm tired of being treated like dog shit for no reason.

#''you need to work things out!!!1'' eat shit and die #what really enrages me about all of this is i'm literally always the one that's actually calm and civil and respectful #but im not gonna sit there and do nothing while you're cussing at me and slamming doors and acting like a fucking aggressive toddler #and coming from a GROWN MAN??? #especially when they're manipulative enough to cry and get in your face blubbering about how sorry they are #just to throw an absolute fit when you want them to fuck off and leave you alone #even though i didnt even say it with like an attitude or anything lmao #but when that degenerate freak sends me into a meltdown #*I* am the one that has to forgive the piece of shit??? #''he had a bad day!'' clearly not bad enough!! #He's literally been the primary source of my problems with my mother #and he's a piece of shit to her too #but god forbid i actually say that lmfao #abuse tw #I might delete this later I just needed to get this off my chest #I fucking hate being disabled I wish I were able to be independent #I wish I didn't need care from other people #I wish I had the luxury of being able to go no contact #I'd have multiple restraining orders against multiple people if that were an option lmfao

[landgraabbed]

initiation

#p #skyrim tag #peak skyrim romance is when farkas takes the blood oath #yes farkas will be malin's spouse #malin's just into dumb big beefy men ig #dustman's cairn was a wild ride lmfao #i think i can beat anything this game throws at me now #it's always been so easy but ig this mod set up jsut made it the dark souls of tes

[gentlethorns]

i have always been and will always be utterly fucking insane. help

#she bork #tbd #i am so so so so anxious and idk why!!!!! we found a house just need to get two of our roommates subleased from their apartments so it's not #the house hunt and i've stopped worrying about grad school as well since there's no use worrying about all the ifs and pros and cons when #idek if i'll get accepted in the first place so i don't think it's that either. idk i'm just like off the chain like i was putting up ad at #work literally thee MOST low-pressure activity imaginable and i was like about to have a panic attack like why!!!!!! i've had like three #cups of green tea which is caffeinated but not heavily so like probably the equivalent of two cups of coffee so it shouldn't be affecting me #like this. work is also stressful rn bc we keep rolling freight due to call ins so maybe that? i have no idea i just know i want to throw up #lmfao. idk maybe i'm not getting enough vitamin d bc i'm already deficient and daylight savings time has reeeeaaally cut down on my sun #exposure not to mention the weather has been super cloudy so maybe it's that. or maybe the idea of so much change at once is scaring me even #though it seems like it's all gonna work out and ik that it will bc it always does but change is just scary. so maybe that. regardless i #wish i would just fucking calm down i'm miserable

[revanchistsuperstar]

Me several times while watching back that video: Wow weird, from certain angles and making certain expressions I look kinda like Taika!

The rational part of my brain: Yeah, he’s your cousin, people who are related look like each other.

Me: No, that’s fake, he’s like a foot taller than me.

The rational part of my brain: …….and that changes how your face looks how?

#I guess what always throws me off is that I have my dad’s ears and nose #hence why people always say I look like David Tennant because yeah I get that from my dad lol #also yes I did find out this man was my cousin and immediately decide to cosplay as him 🤣🤣🤣 #but enough people have reacted to me saying Taika is my third cousin with ‘I can see it!’ for me to now accept our eyes at least look alike #what remains to be see: will testosterone make my jawline…. like that. lmfao #pray to the transition gods for me #drag #drag king #our flag means death #taika waititi

[muirneach]

sorry for always referring to the man with no name as clint but whatever he’s basically the same guy in every movie idc ill call him clint. mortimer and angel eyes r definitely not the same guy but ill still call them lee cause im not giving them TWO separate tags

#i have mixed opinions about whats goin on with the continuity of mwnn but whatever #anyways if u see taggin things as clint or lee i dont mean like. the actual guys lmfao. thats just my shorthand for the characters #the thang about me is i love to tag things but i hate having a lot of tags so i just throw stuff together #no one cares about this but i always feel weird saying it so. heres why

[strwbrymlkshake]

I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀

#mine #🎸 #DUDE my feelings are so weird like i cant even describe them cause theyre all over the place. im hoping someone sees this and sends me an #ask or something with advice if this is even gonna make sense. because i am so confused lmfao #First of all im always expecting something to go wrong so i feel like it might be the absence of Problems thats throwing me off #But he reassures me all the time and genuinely cares about me? in regards to my last post we talked about it and he comforted me #i feel like im kind of in an emotional limbo where im still processing everything. my yan moments make appearances more than my dere #i feel so cringe saying that as a native english speaker. well im here to express my feelings not to be judged <3 #but i definitely FEEL the jealousy more. like i exhibit both equally but im more emotional in a bad way than a good way #but its not cause of anything hes doing at all! hes perfect?! i dont know how to handle it!! i only know how to be jealous #at least if im mean im not as likely to get hurt and thats why im afraid to feel lovey things as much??? im making myself sound like #a bastard but ive just been feeling more anxiety and getting worried about Relationship Stuff and that kills the vibes #but he doesnt even mind he doesnt treat my problems like a burden. he isnt sick of them he doesnt abandon me. he loves me and i am still so #bewildered? like. hes the nicest guy ive ever dated. ill gush about new people i meet but they do have flaws. i just dont acknowledge them #because im so blinded by idolization. but for this one ive thought everything out i have PONDERED for so long and he really is just such a #good person. how? WHY?? he has not done anything wrong and its just my mental illness that causes ALL the problems. but he wants to #BE there and comfort me. what the fuck my brain is like short circuiting. people this nice exist? he doesnt want to use me?? #and ofc this is all in the romantic sense. i still have friends that i value very much but this post is focused on romance #watch me say all this then he does something horrible. <-SEE IM SO NEGATIVE i expect things to go wrong #my main problem is im confused about my feelings they feel very tangled and muddled. im happy of course but i feel like the part of me that #feels romantic happiness/genuine satisfaction is all fucked up and broken. but he doesnt mind that im this way 🥲 WHY #HE ASSURES ME EVERYTHINGS OKAY he is there for me he cares about me but i cant wrap my head around it! im. this is so weird #one of my goals is to be less focused on being insane and actually get things done. w all my relationships i have a time blur thing #where i feel like time passes differently even more than it does for me. im just thinking so much bruh #right i think i was gonna go about getting adderall because of the everything all the time. im feeling numb but also #literally every emotion all at once. and it consumes me and my waking thoughts. i guess it was easier to ignore before?

[northern-passage]

oh im SO glad you said that thing about hating comments on an MC'S hotness. like, no, my MC is not hot. they are average at best. i have a thing about making characters look distinctive over them looking hot, and i hate when it's assumed that everyone is going to make a hot conventionally attractive mc and not some weird little wet rat of a person

LOL well to be fair i think it depends, attractiveness is subjective, people are going to be attracted to different things and i don't necessarily think a character finding an mc hot and complimenting them necessarily = the mc being conventionally attractive. however, the way the comments like that are usually written make it clear that the assumption Is that the mc is conventionally attractive, if that makes sense.

they'll comment something specifically about your looks in a way that is usually out of pocket and inappropriate for the setting/current situation and it's really immersion breaking for me. i try to avoid direct physical compliments like that when it comes to the companions, or at least write them in a way that actually suits the hunter, and i try my best to avoid implying conventional beauty standards. Noel compliments their scars, Clementine admires their muscles/strength and can quite literally grope the hunter's bicep in the lift (lol), and there are times where Merry can call the hunter "cute" in a way that is clearly meant to both annoy and fluster them.

but i can't imagine any of them stopping in like the heat of battle to comment about how hot the hunter is in that moment, or like a specific scenario i see a lot is the mc being pissed off and someone commenting about how hot it is... imagine if any of the ROs came in after the introduction to Duncan and said something about how hot the hunter looks.... i don't know, it sounds so ridiculous to me, and if i was the hunter in that situation and someone said some shit to me like that it would just piss me off mdfnsdkjf

it just doesn't fit the tone, or make sense with how any of the characters actually act or how they treat the hunter. a lot of times it feels forced and is just jarring, like everyone is breaking character to directly compliment the player or something.

this is all just personal opinion, though. i know specifically in IF/VNs/romance focused games, people play them literally Because they want characters to call them attractive/be head over heels for them, i know it's meant to be escapism and fantasy, and i'm not trying to like "bash" anyone that does like it. but for me it just breaks immersion and i typically avoid games like that. i prefer slow build-ups and emotional moments over time rather than immediate, intense physical attraction between LIs and the player character.

edit because i thought of something else: i think my issue w it too is that... attraction is more than just physical!!! some romance content focuses SO much on the physical descriptions/the physicality of it, constant compliments on appearances/looks while completely excluding the intimate moments and the mundaneness of romance, the “i bought this cus i thought of you,” the “i cooked your favorite for dinner bc you had a bad day,” the actual friendship that romance requires. it’s not all just physical attraction, there needs to be something else there for it to be compelling and interesting.

#like there are certain games i play where it's obviously a core part of the game bc it's literally just a romance game so like. duh lmfao #i mean i still wish they were written better but it is what it says on the package you know #other games it Really jars me and throws me completely through a loop though #it's interesting hearing other people's opinions about what they do and don't like. it's so crazy how Divided readers are #like the genre is so vast there really is something for everyone and it's interesting to see the little pockets #tho im always of the mind that trying to divide and categorize IF is something that should be avoided.... #i dont think it helps anyone to try and 'limit' the possibilities or to try and shove games into little boxes #IF is sooo flexible. splitting hairs just does more harm than good imo #breaking it up by genre helps so people can find stuff they like but beyond that i don't see a point #anyways. what was i talking about #anonymous #ask

[lightthatibecome]

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#lmfao made the mistake of going onto bpdlovedones on reddit 🥰🥰 rly love being seen as some irredeemable unlovable unchangeable monster #like none of these people have ever had a good relationship with someone with bpd and theyre gonna lump all of us in together as abusers #like fucking seriously? okay guess all autistic ppl are abusers guess all ppl with did are abusers etc etc #also . im autistic and have did that's not me being a dick throwing ppl under the bus its just like. a comparison lol #its just like. jesus fucking christ. #i really really wish i wasnt like this theyre all acting like this is something we dont try to fix. like we want to live like this? #like we enjoy being this way. not like i put 1000% of myself into trying to do better every single day #and i have gotten better. i have changed. i dont always believe it but i have people who will be blunt and honest who tell me #in no uncertain terms that i mightve been something else before but ive changed for the better and continue to do so #honestly it just fucking hurts deeper than anything else rn like why tf did i do that 😊 bc i knew itd hurt my feelings #god i really really . dont want to be this i dont WANT to be a terrible person i fucking promise im trying. im doing better

[writelives]

❛ Pretty sure you just gave me a black eye, fucker. Let me repay the favor. ❜ | @siure asked for some one - liners.

#siure #// me really handing ... hirohito to his favorite person LMFAO SKFDGJDFKS. just another day in their life #// sighs they're throwing punches always #// it's their way of bonding #⸻ ❛ 𝐢𝐜 » shishido hirohito.