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#literally every emotion all at once. and it consumes me and my waking thoughts. i guess it was easier to ignore before?
lovemouche · 3 months
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lovesick all over my bed ౨ৎ
satoru x fem reader
18+ / mdni
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It was never meant to end up like this.
Satoru had stated the boundary of no strings attached prior to entangling himself with you — metaphorically and, quite literally too. The relationship was meant to start and end with physicality only. That was the one rule he made sure to implement for himself. That was where he drew the line. 
"Y-yes. right there. Please."
And yet, these days, he's been finding himself caught in the cavern of a predicament, worn down to the point where he can't think of much, besides tangled limbs and open mouthed kisses, hot and wet as he'd breathe heavily against your form. Worn down to the point where he can't think of anything else besides you. 
Even now, as you lay underneath him, needy and bare, shaped like a deity, challenging the outline of divinity, he's still thinking of you. Always.
And it's driving him crazy, consuming every waking thought of his. Because he just doesn't know how it all led up to this. Satoru can't fathom how an inkling of affection he dismissed as nothing more than a momentary impulse burgeoned into something more profound. Into something so alarming. Into—
No. 
No. No. No.
No. He doesn't want to name the emotion just yet. He can't. Labelling it just solidifies his fear into truth, and the prospect that the feeling blossoming inside his chest aligns with what he’d dreaded feeling the most crosses every boundary he had set for himself. 
Love, the most twisted curse of all. 
"Ah, Satoru—"
The call of his name drags him out of his reverie. It's whispered softly against his skin, flushed as he clings to you desperately, secure enough to hold you in place, but never too much to hurt you. 
"Yeah?" he asks tentatively, his movements being put to a pause. After loosening his grip around your body, he shifts the bend of legs on the mattress to keep his weight from overwhelming you. "You okay, princess?" 
His hand travels from the curve of your waist to trace the outline of your jaw, carefully and, much too lovingly for someone who's only meant to use you for emotional release. "Does anything hurt?" he asks, thumbing the apple of your cheek with gentle strokes, noticing how you shiver under the touch. 
You shake your head, but it's not enough to convince him otherwise; the lack of a verbal response only has his mind flooding with concern even more, especially because you've never stopped him mid-sex. Not once in the entire seven months of your arrangement. 
"Talk to me," he encourages. 
Instinctively, you lay your hand on top of the one toying with your cheek, your fingertips lightly rubbing at his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down. Satoru feels his chest constrict. It's not a big gesture, he knows. But it feels so intimate—so sweet. 
Anyone would assume he would've gotten used to it by now, but even with familiarity and time, everything you do only seems to make his heart race even more. 
He's grateful the dim lights don't manage to catch the flush beginning to spread throughout his features, but he's certain you can feel the way his cock hardens inside you, even if you don't comment on it—which he's also grateful for.
God, he's hopeless. 
The control you have over him is dangerous, he realizes. Part of him wants to pull away before any damage can be done. But the other, bigger part welcomes the peril with open arms. 
"It's just..." you trail off, letting out a sigh of frustration as you try to find the right words. 
"Should I pull out?" 
"No," you huff, tone authoritative. Out of reflex, your legs tighten around him, thighs caging his waist to keep him in place—because you definitely don't want him to pull out. Not with how good he's filling you up right now. "Just... shut up for now." 
Satoru acquiesces to your request. Despite his reservations, he nods, albeit a bit reluctantly, and makes a testament to his obedience by pretending to zip his mouth up with pinched fingers. 
"You just... seem a little out of it nowadays, like you're distracted. So I wanted to know if you were okay."
You take a brief pause. Satoru waits with bated breath. 
"We're friends too, you know? You can talk to me about these things. It doesn't always have to be sex," you add softly, probing gently to gauge the situation while making sure to leave enough room for him to make the decision to open up. Because really, he doesn't owe you any explanation. 
He doesn't owe you anything at all.
Satoru feels his heart swell, pressing up against his sternum, too big for his chest—everything he feels for you is too much for him to carry. 
I know, he thinks bitterly to himself. That's the problem. I don't want to be your friend anymore. 
But he doesn't want to lose you either, and he knows that if he let the dam break, if he let loose every emotion he's been struggling to keep at bay, he'd only ruin everything. 
He'd lose you. And he'd lose himself in the process.
So Satoru parries your question with ease, because honesty isn't his forte—both towards you and himself. 
"Nothing's wrong," he insists, raising an arm to pin your hand up against the bedsheet, intertwining your fingers with his. "Don't worry." 
Resting his forehead on top of your sweat kissed one, he resumes his movements languidly. "Just...just focus on how good I'm making you feel, o—oh—okay?" 
He trips on his words at the sensation of being sucked in and out of your sweet cunt, and he prays—god, he prays—that the feeling of being inside you is enough to compensate for not having you entirely, even if just for a moment. 
But it's not enough, and Satoru can't help but feel that it never will be. 
He slides in and out of you, his desire heavy. And you moan in response, chest rising from the laboured breaths that follow each sinful thrust, hips gyrating automatically to match his pace. 
And it feels good. It feels so fucking good. But the pleasure isn't enough to cloud his senses and dispel his anxiety. Because he's looking at you and his heart is already tugging at its seams. And Satoru feels helpless. 
And he's not sure what it is—if it's the high that ensues being wrapped around your tight walls, or the way you fit so perfectly against him, as if you were made to be held by him, as if he was made just to hold you—but something about tonight has him desperate for more than just late night messages that lead to loveless fucking. 
Something about tonight has him desperate for all of you. Mind and body, heart and soul. 
The notion is heady, and the revelation steals his breath. It roots itself inside his chest and demands his attention, aching to be acknowledged. 
He's so caught up in his head, so lost in thought that he doesn't even register the fact that his movements have been put to a halt and his cock has stilled inside you. Not until you press a shaky palm to his chest in worry.
"Hey," you breathe out. "What's wrong?"
Satoru has to bite his tongue to refrain from telling you that: everything is. There are so many things he wants to tell you, but he's scared it'll poison every next moment. He's scared he'll lose you in the only way he knows he can have you. 
Everything is wrong, he wants to say.
Instead, he stays quiet. 
There an ugly feeling gathering in the pit of his stomach. He wants, so badly, to say something—anything. But he can't. The only reaction he can offer you is the widening of eyes, and his mouth parting in shock before his lips purse into a disappointed frown.
Being in... fuck he'll name it. Being in love shouldn't indemnify him from acting like an idiot, but love has a way of blurring all reason, all rationality. 
He waits for you to speak again, unwilling to break the silence himself—too afraid of what might follow, too afraid that you've already seen right through him.
And he feels pathetic, of course, for being reduced to such a scattered mess, because he's supposed to be the strongest. And for the most part, he is. He really is. But when it comes to you, he can't seem to live up to that title. When it comes to you, he can't seem to be anything else but yours. 
The yearning—to mean something more to you, to be everything to you—settles in his bones. It's draining his soul. He's standing on the edge of a cliff, left to teeter somewhere in between unbridled emotion and self restraint. It's a precarious position to be placed in, and he's hanging by a mere thread. 
Seconds stretch into what feels like an eternity. The air feels like it's heavy with impending demise, and the silence engulfs him like black tar. It's suffocating, to say the least. Satoru isn't sure if he wants to prolong the moment or get it over with. He feels his heart pound against his chest—that treacherous thing.
So when you finally say something, he breaks.
"Satoru, what's wrong?" 
He falls apart. 
"I'm sorry," he chokes out, voice timid and exceptionally apologetic, head hanging low in refusal to meet your eyes. The sight of him is pitiful; you can't, for the life of you, understand why.
It's strange seeing Satoru in such a vulnerable state. Not because you don't assume he doesn't have his own baggage to carry, but because you never thought he'd be willing to expose this side of himself to you.
It's everything out of the ordinary, like witnessing god crumble at your feet, or having an executioner beg to be pardoned for all his killings.
"I'm sorry," he repeats. Only this time, it feels more resigned, like he's admitting defeat. It almost feels like he's apologising to you. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
But how could that be? and why would it ever be?
"What? Sat—ah."
Satoru falls slack on top of you, pressing the weight of his body against yours. He buries his head into the crook of your neck, chin moving to rest on your shoulder as he evades your gaze. You feel his hands travel south as he continues whispering a mantra of apologies into your skin.
It's a vain endeavour, trying to lift yourself up to get him to talk to you properly. The grip on your hip keeps you anchored, leaving you no room for anything other than compliance; it's as if he's scared you'll leave if he lets go even for a second.
And honestly, he is. 
"Satoru. Don't be like this please."
"I'm sorry," is all he says. 
"Satoru, look at—"
"No."
"Look at me." 
"I'm an idiot."
"No," you interject. "You are not."
"But I am." It's muffled, his voice. A Little shaky too. "I know I'm an idiot, so don't," he pleads. "Don't look at me. I don't want you to see me right now. I can't." 
"You need to tell me what's wrong."
"You're going to hate me. I'm going to ruin everything."
"How?" 
"I'm sorry."
"Satoru."
"I'm sorry," he repeats, his grip on you tightening, fingernails digging soft crescents into your skin. "I'm sorry; I got too greedy." 
Your eyebrows pinch. 
Satoru can practically feel your confusion, and he wants to die, because you don't get it. You just don't get it. Not at all. Not one bit. Not until he whispers five words that knock all the air out of your lungs:
I love you. I'm sorry.
There's a pregnant pause, hesitant, unsure. And then:
"Wha—what? No. You—you're lying." 
Satoru shakes his head in disagreement, vehemently refusing your claim. 
Lying? How could he ever lie about such a thing? He could feign indifference at most, try to brush past it and let the feeling linger until it subsides. But he can't, and it hasn't, and he's tired of pretending that he doesn't love you anymore. Because he does. He loves you too much to push those feelings away. 
"It's true," he admits. "I—I tried not to... you know? I tried not to—fuck, I'm sorry." 
The confession should have lifted the burden, or at the very least, eased it. But his lips struggle to form words, and his heart ricochets against his ribcage. 
"Look at me," you implore.
"No."
He's certain you must hate him now. That by tomorrow, or tonight even, he'll leave the place—the person—he's associated with home as nothing more than a stranger. 
Even worse, a mistake. 
"Please?" 
But your arms crawl to wrap around his torso, and your legs squeeze around his own in silent reassurance, like you're trying to convey to him that you're not going anywhere. And if that isn't enough to convince him to listen, Satoru doesn't know what is. 
When he finally raises his head, your eyes linger on the contours of his face, studying his crestfallen expression. He's anguished, that's for sure. You just can't wrap your head around the fact that it's probably you who's causing his misery. 
Because Satoru is... well, Satoru—he's the strongest.
So who are you to be able to wreck him this much?
"Do you..." you swallow, still unconvinced, words quieting down to a whisper. "Do you really love me?" 
Without looking at you, Satoru nods. it's not enough of an answer, though. 
"Tell me, please." 
He lets out a slow, shuddering exhale, chest stuttering on his next breath. He's silent for a few seconds, thinking. Until finally, with a slight crack to his voice, he says. "I do." very tremulously. "I love you." 
Which is painful to admit, because he doesn't even know what to do now that it's been said. Satoru's not sure how he can give you something he's never been shown. He's not even sure if he deserves it, or if you'll even want his affection. 
But there's so much of it, so much love growing in his chest that he fears it'll crack his ribs. So he's willing to try, even if it might ruin him in the process, 
He's willing to do anything, so long as it's for you. 
It's as simple as that, really. 
"You're lying. I—you can't be serious."
Well, maybe not really.
"I am." Satoru nods pathetically, like a wounded puppy, like his heart is in tatters because you can't believe him even after he's laid himself so embarrassingly bare like this. "I love you." 
"But you said—"
"I know," Satoru interrupts, and his lips are bowed. "I know. I'm a hypocrite. I got too selfish. But I can't help it anymore, I'm sorry. I love you too much to push these feelings away." 
Satoru feels every muscle in your body go stiff at the admission. You're rendered speechless, once again; hesitant in your words, even more so in your actions. And he feels like he's made a grave mistake, that right then and there, he's ruined everything—he's lost you.
But then the right corner of your mouth quirks, hinting at the faintest of smiles, and an obtrusive feeling of hope sparks within him, fizzling out his nerves like cheap soda. 
"Why would you be sorry?" you scold, flicking his forehead. "The only thing you should be sorry about is worrying me. Do you know how scared I was seeing you go MIA while you were still inside me?"
"I'm still inside," he reminds you. 
You groan. "this is not the time." 
"I know." He frowns, but the tension from earlier is nowhere to be found, and Satoru feels even more at ease now that you've begun playing with his hair, twirling the strands between your fingers. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what else to say." 
"You don't need to say anything else."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"You aren't upset or anything?"
"Why would I be?"
"I don't know." He lowers his head to rest on top of your chest, all watery and emotional, pressing his cheek just above where your heart lies to find solace in the rhythmic pitter patter of beats. "I just expected you'd be mad or... disappointed, you know?" 
"Well I'm not, so don't worry about anything, okay?"
"Okay," he hums.
You don't say anything after that. Neither does he. It's quiet for a while, and you take the time to think while basking in the afterglow of such a raw moment. 
It's all still so surreal. 
You feel like the universe is playing a prank on you, like Satoru's orchestrating a sick, cruel joke to mess with your system. But you're cradling his head in your hand, lovingly tracing arbitrary shapes on his scalp, and you swear you can hear how fast his heart is racing. 
It's in tandem with yours.
And perhaps, that's all that matters. 
Maybe you were an idiot not to have realised it sooner. Maybe you were just in denial too. But it's as clear as day now, and you really can't deny the fact that it has always felt like you and Satoru were made for each other. Because when you take his hand into yours, and it feels like the spaces between your fingers were shaped just to hold him like this, you're certain that it's always been more than just sex. 
"Satoru?"
"Yeah?"
"Me too."
He gives you a quizzical look. You smile.
"I love you too."
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luckykiwiii101 · 4 months
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Feel like overconsuming?
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💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
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(Remind yourself of these facts whenever you feel doubtful, frustrated, stressed or like over consuming)
💕Do NOT focus on the 3D. Just focus on the 4D
💖The 3D is just the old state/assumptions manifested
💗I KNOW that I have everything I want no matter what the 3D shows
💞I Fulfil myself every time I think of my desire (surrender to the 4D)
💓I NEVER identify with the 3D unless it’s desired
🌸I KNOW that i’m not waiting for the 3D to conform. I am only making my desire natural to me. I am getting used to always having it.
🌺I am only REMINDING myself that I have what I want.
🌷Logic doesn’t exist
🎀I am NOT lying to myself!!!
💄NOTHING can “ruin” my manifestation
💐I Only see/hear what l want to see/hear
🩰I Only focus on the FEELING of having what I want, I return back to that feeling every time I think of my desire. I satisfy myself until i no longer need the feeling of satisfaction.
💗I don’t need to affirm or visualise etc all day.
🍬I only look for confirmation in the 4D. NEVER the 3D.
💘Creation is finished. It’s done.
💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Quotes from @loasuccessarchive from anons who manifested their dream lives:
💗 “I've manifested so much physical changes when i stopped thinking about how the 3d needs to change. i focused on how i feel (state of already having your desires) and sustained that feeling.”
💓 “I did absolutely nothing but focus on my desires/the 4D. I was delusional, I was detached from whatever bullshit was happening in my 3D and I was basically in love with my 4D.”
💞 “the only reason why you fail, is because you haven’t accepted that imagination is the only reality, everything stems from imagination. the longer you focus on getting it in the physical world, the more stress you’ll have. you only want the feeling such desire brings you, so give it to your inner man.”
💕”All i did was fulfill myself in my imagination, and stopped looking for confirmation in the outer world, whenever i felt the urge to “look for it in the 3D” i would close my eyes and see it in my imagination. That’s all i did, the first days i felt a little anxious but then everything was okay, and i was EXTREMELY calm.”
💖 “I started focusing on the feeling of having everything I wanted, without being specific because my subconscious/ god knows what it is, it’s when things started happening, and let me tell you it’s was so quick.”
“I didn’t work on my self concept, I didn’t do methods (however I tried SATs and it did work for me once but I stopped since I got lazy) I didn’t focus on time or logic, I didn’t do anything but focus on what was happening in my imagination.”
🎀 💋 “your only job in here is to think from the perspective that you already have it baby. don't stress yourself, everything will change because if it is in your imagination and you accept that it will reflect in the 3d, thats literally everything everything and everything . you don't need to change your thoughts, only your state, you want to get into the void this night? imagine however you want that you are waking up with everything you wanted, it is not a desire, it is the reality. you want proof? go to your imagination. everything is there.”
💋”the wish fulfilled isn’t something over exciting (although it may be at first) its just a natural and normal.” —> https://www.tumblr.com/etherealkissed88/737821647378284544/the-state-of-the-wish-fulfilled
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P.S Ily 💗 XoXo - Gossip Girl
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69fever · 1 year
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_
my love letter to you, my boyfriend
💌
-
i am infatuated with you. ever since i was 13 years old, it has always been you. i don't know what it is. i'm just so undeniably drawn to you, i can't escape it. and i don't want to escape it. i don't want to run from this or from you. in a way, it scares me. the feeling is so deep and simply intense that it's panicking. i have never felt this way about anyone before, part of me wanted to run from it to avoid any heartbreak, but if all things backfire, i now see that loving you will always be worth it, no matter the cost. remember that poem i wrote you, all those months ago, and the line reads "consume me, please", i meant that with every part of my soul. i'm so utterly consumed by you that it is suffocating. not a single day goes by where you don't cross my mind. not a single hour or a single minute for that matter. to quote tyler the creator in the song "ifhy": "10 minutes can't go past without you brushing my thoughts, that's 1440 a day so i'll say a hundred and forty-four times i think about you".
i can't help but truly believe that you are my twin flame. our connection just feels so intense, it feels like it goes deeper than just love and emotion. like i feel it in my soul and in my whole being, like i belong with you. we were born on the same day. we are so alike but simultaneously, so entirely different. you are my other half completely. i will never be able to find a connection like this with anyone else, and i know that for a fact. i will never be able to find something as this meaningful and special to me. you are simply irreplaceable. you have made an irreversible mark on my heart that, no matter what, i will never be able to get rid of. you are my starboy.
i can't throw this away. i can't let this go, i know that it is too special to be given up on. i want to fight for it and i want to fight for you. i want to understand you, i want to know you in and out and know everything about you. every single small thing, what annoys you and what thrills you. what you love and what you hate. what your favourite thing to do first thing in the morning and your favourite thing to do last thing before you go to sleep. i feel like i know you, but i want to know more.
recently, i have only been recalling the bad things that has happened between us and the negatives, and i'm sure you feel the same way to some extent. when really, our relationship was so enchanting and positive. i've experienced some of my biggest life moments with you, and we've been through so much together.
i never expected any of this to happen and i still wonder what went wrong. it was such a whirlwind and it's been quite literally an emotional rollercoaster. in a way though, i think it has been good for me, and i hope it has benefitted you as well. i feel alive again, i feel like i have a life again, i appreciate life once more and i want to live. i want you to be apart of my life again. i've learnt a lot through this experience and i have learnt a lot from you and you've motivated me to be a better version of myself. i want to prove myself to you and be better than before. i want to protect you and comfort you again, i want you fall asleep in my arms and to feel safe with me and to wake up together. i want to laugh with you and i want to cry with you.
i appreciate you more than life itself and i care for you with my whole heart. i love every part of you, physically and mentally. i love the way that you see life and how you think. i admire you so entirely and i respect you. you are genuinely the most magnetic, beautiful, interesting, amazing and coolest person i have ever met.
-
certified lover girl. ♡
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hibiscuswolverine · 1 year
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Updated Gaiden lore time + my silly thoughts naegiri week edition please don’t go harass this author over this, also this not meant to ridicule the author.
Chapter 1
Overtime (They’re fiances in this)
-Kyoko is still willing to stick her fingers into things with odd looking residue and taste it glad to know shes still abit weird (it was civet coffee)
-If makoto drinks a shit ton of Civet coffee, enough to create a little arch around him when he’s resting head down on the table. His bed wetting habit will reappear.
-Makoto is the Headmaster, the school might be open? Not sure tbh.
-The coffee connoisseur is surprised at how much caffeine a 5’3 man can consume to finish paperwork and considers either locking her coffee supply cabinet or getting him decaf, when she should invest in getting him redbull or monster energy or speed one of the three.
Chapter 2
Snooze (Married, Kyoko is pregnant with Kiki)
- Apparently Kiki can hear her parents in the womb??(Not sure how many months along she is) He told her gently to stop moving so she doesn’t wake Kyoko and she listened. And later in the fic she ‘responsed’ to kyoko when she asked her a question by moving around.
-Dutiful House husband Makoto yipee!! He can cook!!! He cooked her a hearty breakfast of delectable Fish, soup, rice, and pickles. No he didn’t cook butt naked in an apron.
-The dynamic wasn’t always like this; Kyoko used to be the one who watch him sleep in the morning, and she would cook breakfast. Makoto just thinks she should be able to relax bc she worked so hard all her life and she deserves to sleep in.
-”Though she could never quite grow used to being the last one to awaken from her snoozing, she had learned to appreciate the perks of their reversed roles.“ Girl if you want this man to make you breakfast every morning and shit just literally ask, he will fucking do anything for you😭
Chapter 3
Past/Future (takes place during Kiki’s last year of high school)
- So. Shukiki (Shuichi x Kiki) is a thing.
- “Kizakura tells me that ever since the…Akafuku incident…Kyoko’s been a lot happier. You’ve done a lot to make her smile and embrace her emotions. Between that and saving her life, I owe you a debt of gratitude I can never repay.” Your daughter might be an alternative Jin.
-Apparently Kiki brings out the best in shuichi just like Makoto did kyoko back during when they were in Hope’s Peak (the school not KG)
-Despite the present saying both kyoko and Makoto are still young (Kyoko is referred to as the Young matriarch). Though she is still considered a young woman even in the flashback. SO how old are they in the present? Cause even Kiki is referred to as a young woman (she’s probably either 18 or maybe 19), so the two would have to be at the beginning of being middle aged I presume.
-“It’s amazing how much he can clear the air, once one allows themselves to be receptive to his charms…” Makoto the ultimate air purifier confirmed.
-“Hard at work, you two?” Kyoko teased, walking in with a tray of cookies. “It’s good that you’re working so hard on your exams, but don’t push yourselves too hard. That can be just as dangerous for your mind as forgoing studying at all.” Quite Ironic you of all people would say this Kyoko. (Also both her and Makoto made these cookies)
-When meeting Makoto’s parents, Kyoko was so nervous about making a good impression that she seemed awkward and shy.
-Kyoko nodded in understanding. “Now that you mention it…I do see certain parallels between our past and their present…” Her lips tugged into a smile as she held her fingertips to her lips. “…And if all goes well, their future.” Good Job! You’re going to jinx it!
Chapter 4
locked in/out (takes place during Kiki’s high school years but not her final year.)
-This is an actual Shukiki chapter. Very much so of a Less Naegiri chapter in a naegiri challenge week fanfic.
-What happened? Tsumugi, gonta and kirumi locked shuichi and Kiki in a closet because tsumugi says they’ll confess their love for one another because that always works in fiction. (Basically seven minutes in heaven but like not really) Gonta accidentally broke the closet key and now they have to ask the Naegis for help.
-Gonta tried to ask Kiki out at one point but it failed to woo her.
-Tsumugi is really advocating hard for these two to get together.. Girl.
-Tsumugi huffed, then turned to Gonta with sparkling eyes. “What about you, Gonta? You want Kiki to be happy, right? Don’t you want to make sure she finds her special someone?”
“…Yes, Gonta wants to make sure Kiki finds a boy she likes…” Gonta sighed. “Gonta knows he wasn’t the right boy for Kiki…so the least Gonta can do is help her act on her crush with Saihara-kun!” :((( DON’T SAY THAT GONTA HOLD YOURSELF TO HIGHER STANDARDS. She just couldn’t understand your rizz, it's her loss.
-Gonta had enough strength to break the key to the closet, so in theory couldn’t gonta have used his strength to break down the door and free them or break the lock??
-Kyoko is still scary according to Tsumugi (with stories from Kiki and other students) , I don’t think I believe that especially in the gaiden universe. That woman is not scary.
-“Mom!” Kiki grinned, leaping to her feet and practically tackling her mother in a grateful hug.
Kyoko winced, but smiled and patted her daughter on the back. “I think you’re getting a little big to be tackling your mother like that, am I wrong?” Kyoko shut up😭
-This chapter has done nothing to make want to ship Shuichi and kiki together.
Chapter 5
Autumn (Still during kiki’s time in high school, they’re in their thirties)
- Makoto has been managing the school for 20 years at this point???
-“Indeed.” Kyoko nodded. “And you’ve done a wonderful job of following in your father’s footsteps.”
Makoto’s smile radiated with joy. “It always warms my heart to know that I’ve done a good job as Jin Kirigiri’s true successor…and the fact that I’m acknowledged as his son.” Makoto sir buddy, don’t you mean son in law?????? You already have a dad and mom?????
-Kyoko has made peace with her father at some point, and is glad that she was able to assure her husband that he had more than filled their father's shoes. (yes that is the correct pronoun I took it straight from the fic)
-Oh they were out celebrating her birthday in the park btw.
Chapter 6
First Encounter (Takes place after her fic “New transfer student?!”)
- They’re still the headmaster and vice-headmistress in this btw
- They’re at prison having a chitchat with Junko’s would-be successor: Akki Tamonozan. To try and understand what kind of person would want to be mini junko and basically do dr1 again.
- Makoto can be more intimidating than Kyoko when the situation demands for it,
-Oh this Akki girl also took over Kiki’s middle school. She wanted to continue Junko’s legacy, harm Kiki and try to start a second tragedy.
-Akki found out about Kiki’s school through online forums just like Makoto did with his classmates.
-Why was Kiki the target you might ask? Here’s the answer: Akki shrugged. “It would’ve been way too tough to go after either of you, and the conditions that led to the original Tragedy didn’t exist at the new Hope’s Peak, so I went for the next best thing. If only Shirogane hadn’t kept me at arm’s length by offering herself up as a sacrificial lamb, I could have made her fall into despair. Well, Shirogane ended up being a good henchwoman until Kiki snapped her out of it, so I guess it wasn’t a total loss. Seeing how scared she was for her friend was a real source of satisfaction, you know?”
-She doesn’t regret any this obv
-Makoto was still hoping there was something different about her that would allow for some level of redemption if she was given the proper rehabilitation but he found none. But he did find she was a coward.
Day7
Class! (Taking place during Kiki’s highschool years)
- I’m pretty sure one of you can teach a class of students, you both don’t need to be there. There is no purpose for both you being there.
-How convenient they are teaching their daughter’s English lit class.
-It does not take two people to teach teenagers about the great gatsby,
-“HUH?! Kiki’s eyes threatened to bulge out of her head. YOU’RE TEACHING MY ENGLISH LITERATURE CLASS?!
“Yes, Miss Naegi, we are indeed teaching your class.” Kyoko answered with a smirk, as though she could read her daughter’s mind.
Makoto sweatdropped as Kiki seemed to shrink in her seat, trying in vain to hide her embarrassed blush. The other students quietly snickered at seeing the Princess of Hope’s Peak Academy embarrassed by her own mother, though Shuichi had the grace to only show an amused, yet sympathetic smile. Makoto again gestured with his hands to put a stop to it.” This is not giving humor but whatever you say fanfic. Also why are you not being an awkward guy makoto this isn’t makoto.
-Makoto did most of the teaching while Kyoko just observed and stated the next homework assignment. I guess Kyoko teasing Kiki during the beginning of class was her teaching lol?
Its over no more gaiden lore updates right now! lmao anyway I think i wanna participate in Naegiri week next year and make it sad yahoo!
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ghostofnibelheim · 1 year
Text
azure-steel​:
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This sucked. It sucked hard!
Everyday since he’d woken up to be greeted by that grey headed maniac had turned out far worse than the one before it, and here he was, laying in this deep hole seemingly chiselled into the base of a damn mountain. And for what exactly?
Cloud didn’t even know what Sephiroth was even looking for, hell - all of this could be for absolutely nothing - and for all the blond knew he was trapped here, on his own, freezing his nuts off and with a bad back to rival all bad backs in the history of everything ever. And to top it all off rather nicely, a painful gurgle in the very pit of his stomach to suggest that maybe, just maybe, Cloud had not eaten anything even remotely substantial since time itself began - at least that’s what it felt like right in that moment.
       This sucked.                IT SUCKED!!
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Cloud could throw the mother of all tantrums right here in the basin of this cave if his body wasn’t such a wreck, so instead he just lays there flat to the cold damp ground and fantasising on the many ways he could wring the bastard former SOLDIER’s neck if he was even fortunate enough to see him again. Though he would use the term fortunate rather loosely.
With a mood already soured like four month old milk, he hears an odd fluttering from overhead, possibly just a bat, or perhaps something far more sinister scoping this former infantryman laying on the ground as an easy meal.
Fine. That was absolutely fine; even if he was eaten alive and forced to spend his final hour dissolving in some foul monsters intestinal tract he was quite sure his life had already hit rock bottom; both literally and figuratively all things considered.
Turns out that Strife was fortunate today, though he doesn’t come to realise that in the instant he heard a voice which was familiar and foreign all in the same instance. And shifting his head against the hilt of the blade at his back he looks towards the source of that voice, greeted then within the shadows of the cavern with what he believes initially to be a child…
… a child he felt he knew. Eyes fly wide in the wake of this thing he was witnessing, breath stilled against the stifling emotion conjured by this sudden wayward vision.
‘Do you want to play a game with me?’               ‘Are you going to fly away again…?’                        ‘That’s dumb, people don’t fly!’
                                        ‘I love you… please come back… please?’
The gravity of that old memory consumes him then, lighting every single nerve on fire, lighting him up from the inside but it wasn’t a memory he could quite grasp, not in its entirety. Because he wasn’t real, he had never been real. The mere figment of a desperately lonely boy’s imagination. It was the mako again, it had to be, there was nothing else Cloud could grasp with any reasonable comprehension that would make any of this make reasonable sense. Just the garbled thoughts of a man suffering from the withdrawal of non-consensual addiction.
Still, it takes him longer than it really should have done to realise that it was just Sephiroth he was looking at, and once that realisation had finally hit home his expression darkens once more and that memory is once again banished into the archives from whence it came.
“The hell do you think?” he spat before turning back towards the ceiling of the cave… if it even had one. “Lucky I didn’t break my damn legs.”
This sucked…
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“Luck… is a good thing to have at a time like this. Hold onto that as hard as you can.” In the poorly lit cave, Sephiroth didn’t think much of the silent stare the other had given him before answering his question. If anything, he’d chalk it up to Cloud being too shaken by his fall, and perhaps surprised to see him shrunk to the size of a cat.
Gazing upon the blond for another long moment, he finally lost interest and glanced around, heading up to the small glowing blue spot on the ground in a corner when he spotted the materia he’d previously thrown. He had to cup it with both hands to pick it up, looking in thought for a minute while the green materia on his bangle reacted to his will and the spell on his body dissolved.
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“This pit seems to be a trap set by those who inhabited these caves. There is an exit at the top. Obviously not one meant to be reached by those unfortunate enough to fall down here.” Now that he was back in his full form, he very easily detected the familiar stench of death. Old dust, way beyond that of organic decomposition, filled the air and his lungs.
There were bad and good sides to having pupils as those he was born with. A clearer vision in the dark, albeit with its limits, was definitely one aspect. Capturing the faint glow of the materia in his hand, it wasn’t a particular challenge for him to notice the fragments of human bones around them. He didn’t feel the need to inform the other of their presence. It was a guaranteed and overall useless guess he could make by himself.
Rather, he turned around to walk back where Cloud laid, his head tilted up to look to the obscure abyss above their heads where they- or well, one of them- had fallen from.
“Our only option is to fly to it if we want to get out.” He announced, breathing softly through his nose while his jades returned to the other male at his feet. “It would be easier to just transform you into something lighter, but that would expose you to the mako energy of this materia. You didn’t seem able to handle it well before…”
He trailed off. Voicing his thought only reinforced in his mind that irritating concern… yes, it was definitely concern what was making him hesitate. There was no point calling it anything else. Every time he’d transformed Cloud, his vegetative state had seemed to worsen. What if it happened again? It’d be a setback if the blond were to return to an unconscious state… possibly permanently.
He had to count his blessings carefully, and not give this ‘luck’ for granted. Especially when the other had already just survived a high fall without shattering his spine.
“I’ll have to carry you.” At last, he informed him, already moving down on one knee to begin the maneuver to pick up the blond. He’d carried him before of course. But flying with his full weight was something he hadn’t tried yet, and in such a closed space, without any air current to help, his only hope was that Cloud wouldn’t fuss.
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ekaterinatepes · 3 years
Text
Nothing but the Best
Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.
IX.
https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE
youtube
Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.
“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.
You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.
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It was you and me, it seemed to last forever
The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.
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“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.
“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.
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I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.
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Satoru was fucked.
—————
The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.
He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.
With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.
After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.
The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.
You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.
“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.
Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?
-
“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.
“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.
Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.
You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.
“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.
-
https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4
youtube
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She's given up, been holding on for way too long
She's had enough
He's coming home again
But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him
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The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.
Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…
As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.
Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.
Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.
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Are we just ghosts out in the night?
Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?
Are we just faking or is this real?
'Cause I don't know how to feel
Are we just ghosts now, you and I?
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Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.
Guilt…
Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.
The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.
He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.
But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.
What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.
After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.
What?…
Did you think he was going to stop there?
Absolutely no, love!
If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.
“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”
“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.
Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.
But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.
“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.
You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.
After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.
You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.
-
Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?
Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?
After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.
(Almost an hour later)
Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.
“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.
Well, this complicated things… a lot more.
————-> Chapter 10
———————————-
@sleepyamaya
@cloudsinthecosmos
@jxvajxy
@satoruhooraaa
@my-reality-is-in-my-head
@dok-ja
@jscarlet06
@fiona782
@thatsharklovingwoman
@heichoustheoryofcleanliness
@syynnaaah
@shaylove418
@coldvillainess
@vampgguk
@sukuna1stwife
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lxngbottom · 3 years
Text
It’s Alright | N.L
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in which the reader uses her safe word with neville.
warnings: smut, use of safe word, slight mention of toys (lmk if there are more!)
this is my first imagine/blurb or what not. i literally haven’t used tumblr since elementary school so pls bare with me.
word count: 813
to say that you and neville had an adventurous sex life would be an understatement. you two were always trying new things, by consent of course.
you never felt worried or stressed with neville, as he always made sure that you were comfortable with whatever new position or kink you were testing out. with much trials & tribulations, you guys had figured out what worked and what didn’t.
per neville’s request, he put in a safe word to be used in times of need. you agreed of course, but never thought you would ever have to use it. even when he had used toys on you for the first time, and you swore you could faint from the overstimulation, you never gave in.
but now, your vision was white, and you could barely focus in on neville’s perfectly rounded face. he was thrusting into you at what you thought was an impossible speed, his hands gripped harshly onto your hips, definitely leaving bruises for you to wake up the next day and find. he moaned heavily as he was approaching his release, perfectly consumed physically and emotionally in the sight of you.
“my pretty little girl, taking me so well...” he cooed, his hand lifting up to stroke your cheek.
it surely surprised you how dominant neville could be at some points, but at the end of the day, he always took care of you. he never forced you into things you didn’t want to do. you were his girl, and he would never want to inflict any sort of harm on you.
you were trying so hard. trying so hard not to give in. you two had been at been at it for hours, and the overstimulation was depriving you of feeling comfortable. but, you really didn’t want to disappoint neville. of course, he would never be disappointed in you when it came to sex.
you had been enjoying yourself at first, the overstimulation being quite exciting and pleasurable, but now, your body ached and you could barely even understand what was going on. every praise that left your boyfriend’s lip was simply a blur, and unfortunately, he hadn’t noticed yet.
his thrusts were becoming more desperate, more harsh. and you felt yourself slowly fading into blackness.
“r-red...” you stuttered out, your heavy breathing seemingly blocking the verbal plea.
you became confused when neville didn’t stop. but, you knew he was probably just lost in his own pleasure.
so, with the little strength you had, “red! neville! stop!”
with that small cry, he pulled out of you. he threw himself up against the bed post near the edge of the bed, and his breathing became even more uneven and harsh than it was before. you quickly sat up, pulled the duvet over your sweaty, naked, sore body. the emotion of the whole situation was beginning to take affect on you, and all you could do was let out a small whimper.
neville began to beat himself up mentally. how did he not notice you were uncomfortable? how could he be so selfish?
“darling... what happened?” he asked gently, reaching out to touch you, but quickly pulling back when he saw the emotional state you were in.
you sniffed, still attempting to hold back tears. “t-t-too much...”
neville nodded his head, completely at a loss for words, but worry and concern filling his veins. all he ever wanted to do was make you feel good. he never wanted anything like this to happen.
“i-i’m s-s-sorry...” you stuttered out once more, letting a single warm tear fall onto the blanket that covered you. neville quickly shook his head, and scooted closer to you, still fighting the urge to hold you in his arms, “no, y/n. do not apologize. i put that safe word in place for a reason. an orgasm is rubbish to me if that means you’re uncomfortable.”
you finally looked up at him, and you were met with his loving eyes. just looking at him had always brought you much comfort, and he was more than you could ever ask for.
“can i hold you?” he asked sheepishly, still worried that you may be angry with him. you quickly nodded, the simple thought of just being in his arms warming you up.
he shot you a small smile, and positioned himself right bedside you. he joined you under the covers, and instantly wrapped his arm around you, bringing you closer. there was no gap in between the two of you by the time he got comfortable.
“i’m glad you said the safe word, flower. i never want to make you feel like that ever again.” he admitted, his hand running through your hair. he pecked your forehead lovingly, “i love you.”
you looked up at him, “i love you too, nev. i’m sorry if i worried you.”
“it’s alright, darling. it’s alright.”
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imkylotrash · 3 years
Text
Searching For Calm
Pairing: Sky x Stella. Sky x reader. 
Request: Maybe you could write a Sky one where reader is always there for him and he just sees Stella. So the reader (mind fairy) shuts herself out and it takes some time for him to notice. Anonymous
A/N Ignore the text on the gif. I couldn’t find one I liked for this fic. 
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“Are we still on for tonight?” you ask knowing what’s coming but hoping you’re wrong. Sky doesn’t notice your face fall when he shakes his head.
“Sorry, I promised Stella she could come over. She had a rough day.” You want to scream at him that every day is hard for you. Every day you wake up and feel every emotion that runs through Alfea. Happy, sad, lonely, scared. Some days you can’t even figure out which feelings are your own. You want to confess how the only calm you ever feel is when you’re with Sky, but it doesn’t matter. He only has eyes for Stella. 
“Yeah, no problem. Talk tomorrow then?” He never has the chance to answer. Stella sits down on his lap stealing away the short time you and Sky had alone. You literally feel her dislike as she turns slightly your way. 
“Oh, I didn’t see you there.”
“Yeah. There’s a lot of things you didn’t notice,” you mumble hinting at the five empty chairs around the table but they’re already to consumed by each other to pay any more attention to you. 
“Bye, Sky.” There’s no reply, but you didn’t expect one. It’s been 2 months like this ever since Stella decided that Sky was good enough for her despite her dumping him over the summer to spend time with other boys. A fact they’ve both decided to ignore. You put on headphones hoping it might help you drown out everyone’s emotions. You know Farah told you to focus on shutting other people’s emotions out, to only feel them when you want to. But lately, you haven’t been able to focus and you have a suspicion it might be related to the way Sky’s been treating you. 
“They’re locking tongues again. It’s getting disgusting.” Riven appears next to you with a sour look on his face. The one person who just might hate the relationship more than you. 
“I know. He cancelled on me again.” 
“He’s treating you like trash.” You sense his anger more than you see it. You’ve been a trio since you were young and Stella has gone ahead and ruined that. She dislikes you and Riven and for some reason Sky always chooses her. You guess love really does blind people. 
“He treats you like trash too,” you counter not ready to face the truth yet. 
“Yeah, but most of the time I deserve it. You, however, doesn’t ever deserve it.” He’s radiating affection as he looks at you. He’s well aware of your crush on Sky and he’s made his feelings clear on more than several occasions that you deserve someone who actually cares. He’s like your big brother, always looking out for you. 
“I was thinking I might just take some time to myself. See if he misses me.” It’s a very cruel game that you’ll be playing with yourself because you know he won’t notice. Not as long as he’s dating Stella. Riven puts his arm around you as you walk down the hallway. 
“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve said in months.” You nudge him lightly but regrettably have to agree with him. In the next couple of weeks, you stay away from Sky. And even though you already knew his reaction, it still feels like someone is pulling at your heartstrings when you see him being just fine. It’s like he doesn’t even realise that you’re not around. Riven tries his hardest to cheer you up, but now that you’re without any comfort from your powers, you feel the toll much more than before. You start sleeping in Riven’s bed whenever Sky stays over at Stella’s. There’s nothing more than friendly comfort in it. Slowly, Riven becomes your escape from everyone else and it feels so good. You know you shouldn’t depend on others to help you cope with your feelings but it’s all you can do right now. Tonight is one of those nights where Riven has the room to himself. Or at least that’s what he’s been told by Sky but for some reason he stumbles through the door in the middle of the night. 
“Y/N?” He sees you first. There’s no missing the feeling of betrayal going through him. You know exactly what he’s thinking. Riven? Really? It’s all over his face and you hate it. You hate that he gets to judge you when he hasn’t talked to you in weeks. 
“I thought you were going to be with Stella tonight?” Riven starts to stir next to you.
“We got into a fight. What are you doing here?” 
“I’m sleeping.” You know you should tell him that there’s nothing between you and Riven but there’s a small, petty part of you that really likes how he feels right now. 
“Yeah, but with Riven? Are you dating or something?” He’s trying to act unbothered but you’re both painfully aware of your ability to feel everything he feels. 
“That’s none of your business, man.” Cue Riven who’s ready to provoke Sky. He’s been upset with him for a while and with the way Sky is acting right now, Riven can’t help himself. This is going to end in a fight if you don’t get it under control. 
“I can’t sleep alone, okay? I haven’t been able to for a while. Riven calms me.” You thought you were defusing the situation but somehow your comment just makes everything much worse.  
“He calms you? So I’m not good enough anymore?” His voice almost breaks and in turn something breaks inside of you. He doesn’t get to be the one with the broken heart. He let you go and forgot you even existed. He spent the last four weeks in Stella-land and now that they’ve had a fight, suddenly you’re good enough. You’re about to tell him off but Riven beats you to it. 
“You haven’t been here! She’s been going through shit and you’ve been so caught up with yourself that you didn’t even notice that you guys haven’t talked for weeks. If anything you should be thankful, I’ve been here!” The situation is escalating much faster than you thought possible. They both radiate feelings overwhelming you. It’s difficult to keep track of which feelings belong to who. 
“He’s right, Sky. Ever since you and Stella got back together, all you’ve seen is her. You cancelled all of our plans and completely cut me out.” You want to cry or hit Sky right in the face and you’re not sure which feeling is your own right now. Instead of doing either of those you get up and run away from the situation entirely. They both call after you but you just need to find a quiet place away from people’s feelings. You run outside and down the field. There’s a tree at the very back that you’ve crawled up more times than you remember. It’s always been your safe spot whenever you needed to get away. You’re hoping that Sky doesn’t remember it and after an hour alone you start to feel safe. But then you feel it - or more precisely him. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s coming right at you.
“Y/N, I’m coming up.” You want to scream at him to go away but suddenly you’ve gone mute. 
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been a dick.” You don’t argue with that statement. He really has been a dick.
“Riven really set me straight after you left. And when he started pointing it out, I realised that I haven’t been myself. I’ve been distant and cold, I’ve taken you for granted,” he says and you feel his regret just as much as you see it on his face. 
“I never meant to do that. I got so caught up in Stella’s web and because of that I hurt the person who means the most to me.” 
“You took away my calm,” you mumble blinded by tears. It sounds so childish saying out loud but he was the one person who could make you feel normal. His energy cancelled out everyone else’s. You look over at him blinking several times before being able to focus on his face. 
“I’m really sorry.” He takes your hands in his and you let him. It’s that heart of yours that’s betraying you. It always beats a little faster when he looks at you. 
“I can’t do this again. I can’t keep losing you over and over again,” you admit dangerously close to just owning up to your feelings. How he takes your breath away just walking towards you, how he makes you smile even at your worst moments, how he makes your palms sweat whenever he’s near. You want to admit it all because you’re so tired of having to hide your own feelings when everyone else can have their feelings heard. 
“You won’t have to. I ended things with Stella before I came out here. When I saw you with Riven,” he pauses to take a deep breath, ”I felt my heart crack. I hated the idea of seeing you with anyone else.” You stop breathing. For once, you use your powers to reach out and feel his fully. You feel like screaming when you notice the very feeling you’ve been consumed by yourself. 
“Did you just-”
“No!” You say it too quickly. He knows what you did but he doesn’t seem to mind it. He smiles as he takes your hand. 
“I know this is really poor timing and I hate how much it took for me to realise that what I feel for you is way beyond how I should feel for a friend. But if there’s even a small part of you that cares for me like that, I’d really like a second chance.” You’re pretty sure you’re dreaming because there’s no way you went from being ignored by him to have him confess his feelings for you. It doesn’t change how fast your heart is beating in your chest or the blush creeping onto your cheeks. 
“You just got out of a relationship, Sky.” Even though your heart is all for jumping into his arms and riding off into the sunset, the logical part of your brain can’t help but recall how he was in a relationship up until an hour ago. 
“I’m too late, aren’t I?” 
“I really like you, but I also feel like I don’t know you anymore. I look at you and see the face of my best friend, but I also see a stranger.” You don’t know how to explain it properly but somehow Sky gets it. 
“How about we start out easy? Get to know each other again.” He cups your cheek as he looks into your eyes. He opens his mind to let you know that he truly means everything he’s said. You can feel his feelings yelling to be heard. 
“I’d like that.” 
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VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 8 | February 14th –February 20th
Welcome to week 8 of my recommendations, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #ktkvcbreadinglist, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.
Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.
« Last Week
Week 9 »
My Masterlist
My Fic Rec List of Mafia/Mob Bucky/Sebastian & Steve/Chris/Andy
Stuff I Posted This Week:
Dr. Darcy Lewis Playlist — Dr. Lewis – Astrophysics, Hacker, Music and Dog Lover, Nerd, and Hero
Bucky Barnes
(Mini) Series:
Man of the House 🐈 Pt. 3 by @literate-lamb » Sam Wilson x Fem!Reader & Dark!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader — A racket in the attic leads to a discovery of old memories. Your dissatisfaction leads you to a forgettable night. | First of all, my bad on not seeing that this had been updated, I’m so bummed I didn’t see this sooner. Second of all, this sent chills all over my body. The smut in this was so good and so it was just the right amount of thrilling/scary. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Run To You Ch.3 🪙 Ch. 4 🪙 Ch. 5 🪙 Ch. 6 by @bestofbucky » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. | Everytime I see this story updated I get excited, and I also love how the reader is not a damsel. (Feb 18. Ch. 6) Oh my gosh that was intense but so good, thank you for making me laugh at the end. I felt like it was just what we needed! I can’t wait to see how things go!
Watch Out For The Quiet Ones by @eurynome827 » College AU Jock!Bucky x Reader — Bucky doesn’t keep it a secret that he slept with you, but he tells everyone you had a great night, that’s a lie, you faked it. Upset you tell the truth, he’s dead set on making things right with you. | This was straight to the point hot. It was almost like you could have read it in a coming of age book or seen it in a movie, with our the detailed smut scene having been in it. I would read it just for the smut alone but read it for the plot in a whole.
Watch Out For The Quiet Ones: 2 by @eurynome827 » Collece AU Sub/Jock!Bucky Barnes x Reader — A continuation from part one, but this time Bucky is back to make up for neglecting what could be the jealous reader and she has a creative way for him to do that. | I’m not usually into reading stories where Bucky is a Sub unless it’s Stucky x Reader, but this was just so good.
One-Shots:
Birthday Briefing by @drabblewithfrannybarnes » Bucky Barnes x Reader » You want your birthday gifts and you want it now. It just happens to benefit Bucky. | Carly did so good and I really loved it.
Gods and Monsters by @sweeterthanthis » Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Reader — After being kidnapped you wake strapped to a table, next thing you know you’re just an offering for the “masterpiece,” to be bred. | This one shot made me sad but in a good way if that makes sense. You want to comfort Bucky so badly while beating up every Hydra agent while at it. Thank you Lau for the beautiful piece!
The Setup by @justagirlinafandomworld » FireFighter!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Still heartbroken from your last relationship, romance and relationships are far off from your radar. But your friend has taken it upon herself to set you up on a surprise blind date. God only knows where it can go from there. | I had Sebastian from The Little Mermaid singing Kiss The Girl in my head by the end of reading this. I absolutely adored this fluffy piece of writing and would definitely recommend it to anyone who is just in need of something sweet.
Alpinee Has Logged Off by @iraot » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky had been neglecting his girlfriend lately and playing video games with his pals, he needs to make it up to her. | Pure smut, really good smut.
Lost Without You by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky Barnes would be lost with you. You’re his everything and he plans on spending Valentine’s Day proving it to you. | It’s so fluffy, that I’m not crying, you are!
All Dressed In White by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!Mafia Bucky Barnes x Reader — You were going to marry someone else, Bucky won’t let that happen. You belong to him now and forever. Till Death Do You Part. | This is so beautifully written, I almost felt as if I was actually watching it on my TV not reading it. It’s Dark and the smut is oh so juicy.
Lee Bodecker
Drabbles:
New Contract by @fuel-joy » Dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader — Reader just wants to get signed to a new agency but Producer Lee Bodecker just doesn’t want to make it easy for you. | This was short and really good! The end was also a surprise.
Chris Evans
Headcanons:
Dodger’s Day Out by @nony-bear » Chris Evans x Reader ft. Dodger Evans — You and Chris take Dodger to the dog park on a cold winter day. | It’s so fluffy and it has Dodger in it! What more could you ask for?
Steve Rogers
(Mini) Series:
The Riverter by @pagesoflauren » Steve Rogers x Reader — After escaping Hydra, you assist Dr. Erskine in helping Steve Rogers become Captain America. When Erskine is assassinated, you think your WWII career is over. Unfortunately, the SSR and Hydra are not done with you yet. | I really should have gone to bed, but instead I decided to binge read the four chapters and I can’t wait to find out just what Hydra is really up to. Lauren you really are an amazing writer!
One-Shots:
No Scrubs by @the-iceni-bitch » Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader — You try to keep Steve from dying of boredom at an Avengers charity gala. | Reader is badass? Check. Funny Thor? Check. Really good smut that you wish didn’t end? Check and check.
Andy Barber
One-Shots:
Just for Mrs Barber by @donutloverxo » Andy Barber x Reader — Your husband buys you kinky gifts (and a whole ass house) for your anniversary/valentines. | Fluffy and smutty just the way I like it. Thank you for the Valentine’s Day treat Berry! 💗
Stucky
(Mini) Series:
Caged, Bruised and Broken Ch. 3 by @river-soul » Dark!Stucky x Reader — A lonely scientist who is currently working on trying to find a breakthrough with Erskine’s serum catches the eye of Steve and Bucky, who are looking for the perfect wife. They’ll make her love them, whether she wants to or not. [Noncon, breeding, violence, psychological distress and explicit sex. 18+ only.] | This chapter had me in tears for some reason, even while the smut was so damn good. I can’t tell you how many emotions I go through while reading this series and it’s only 3 chapters in. READ IT!
One-Shots:
Sweet as Honey and Wine by @angrythingstarlight » Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader x Dark!Bucky Barnes — You’re the sweetest valentine anyone could ever ask for. Steve can’t wait to gift you to Bucky. His best pal deserves a treat. | Let me just say, what you think is going to happen doesn’t happen. I don’t want to confuse you too much but this is just too good not to read. The smut was also short and sweet!
Divided We Fall by @navybrat817 » Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader x Dark!Bucky Barnes — You sided with Steve Rogers during The Accords and sympathized with Bucky Barnes. When you found out they left Tony for dead in Siberia, you realize you didn’t know the super soldiers as well as you thought. And you had no idea that they planned to keep you by their side…forever. | All I’m just going to say is that very ending you don’t see coming and the smut in this is very good.
Little Minx by @saiyanprincessswanie » Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader x Darkish!Bucky Barnes — Dark!Steve drugs the reader with sex pollen and has his way with her multiple times. Bucky finds out what Steve is doing and tries to convince him that it is wrong. But, once Steve shows Bucky how good the reader is during drugged sex he can’t help but have his way with her too. | I would have to say very hot, and definitely a good way to end the day.
Thick As Thieves by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Mafia!Steve Rogers — The only thing the Mafia hates as much as snitches are thieves. And you’re planning on stealing from Bucky and Steve, what happens if you get caught? | I did not see that coming, also the smut was just so good. *chefs kiss* (I can’t link this so..)
Misc.
One-Shots:
Loyalty by @navybrat817 » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader x Darkish!Bucky Barnes — Loyalty is something you’ve learned to both loathe and appreciate. | I really appreciate it when I’m reading something and it gives me chills and this did it. The smut is good but the connection between reader and Bucky makes this so good. I’m hoping for maybe a second part, if there isn’t, that’s okay.
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sharkboygirlish · 3 years
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Messy.
ONE-SHOT
Word count: 2793
Disclaimer:  One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.
Warning: None
Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)
Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now.  At long last it it FINISHED.
Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.
Without further ado, here ya go.
Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.
Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.
__________________________________________
The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching. 
She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’
Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again. 
Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately. 
Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being. 
Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could. 
“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”
He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’ 
Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’
Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.
‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated. 
He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that. 
But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’
“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”
“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?” 
He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’
Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”
Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…
But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’  
Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”
“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”
“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”
“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”
Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him. 
“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’
“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.
“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.
He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.
                                                       * * *
“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.
Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’
“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.
“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”
“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.
‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘
“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”
Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.
“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”
Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.
��Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”
“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”
“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”
An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’
“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”
A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”
“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”
Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.
He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this. 
Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways… but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’
                                                        * * *
“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.
‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.
“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”
When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”
Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.
“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.
‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?
It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.
That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.
Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.
Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’
Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…
‘Zoro was crying.’
Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.
One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.
‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’
“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”
‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.
“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.
A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”
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nctzanne · 3 years
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♡ doctor!mark x fem!Reader.♡ smut, fluff if you use glasses
WARNINGS!: use of alcohol and drugs, explicit content, not sex but mentions of it.
𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: I just want you to give it a try and read it AAAH
𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡?: no, an idea i've had since i started stanning NCT
𝐴𝑛𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡𝑠 & 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠: As i said above, this is an idea I've had for sOOOOOO many months, so I really wanted it to make it happen. It was on my drafts for a long time. Thank you so so much if you take the time to read this.
You noticed when your mind woke up suddenly, but without opening your eyes, slowly bringing you back to reality. You tasted your own mouth dry as a bone, with a metalic flavor on it, typical scenario when we talk about hangovers. The headache that invaded you so suddenly made you grab your forehead, almost if you brain was going to explode right there. The smell of fermentation on the room -or wherever you were- made you nauseous, so you stayed still to avoid vomiting everything you consumed the night before. A light breathing woke you up from your trance and inner speech, you could even feel the warmth of it on your shoulder. That's when you realize you were not alone, totally opposite of that, you were cornered by arms twice your size, avoiding you to move on the super duper comfortable position you were in. You still didn't want to open your eyes to notice who the lucky guy was, but you could smell the hints of tequila on his breath. When that hit your nose, you turned around abruptly by instinct, trying to avoid the smell. You opened my eyes a little, just to be able to locate yourself in space-time.
A room hotel, there's where you were. White walls reflected the light that came from outside of the giant windows, making you cover your eyes with the hand that wasn't under the grip of this unknown guy. Once your eyes get used to the light, you remembered that you were at Bora-Bora for vacations with your best friend. You can hear the eagles screaming way too loud for your irritable state, but just noticing where you were made you feel more calmed. "At least I'm here and they didn't kidnap me" You thought, finally grabbing the courage to turn around and see who exactly was the guy that had a night of passion with you.
"Sure, shit"
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
-Wait, repeat it to me, who did you meet? -You asked incredulously, looking at how your friend Rosé was overflowing with emotion and nervousness.
-Do you know this famous band?- She told you a name that you couldn't identify, you automatically shake your head-Anyways, while I was waiting for you on the beach I met with Jaehyun, the bass player, we talked a little and he invited us for a few drinks with his friends!- She talked so fast that you had a hard time processing all the information that was given to you.
-And that's it, a random guy talks to you and you say yes?. He could be a serial killer-
-Ah c'moooon, he's a superstar, it will be funn!!!-
So, a not so official date with guys from a band. Sure, excellent idea.
-Okay, are they handsome at least?- You asked with disinterest
-You can't imagine, y/n, so prepare yourself as well as possible, they will fall for you- she approached the small bridge that united your cabins in the middle of the sea, while she blowed you a flirtatious kiss.
You just laughed and walked towards the windows, admiring the sea. You were literally in paradise, your bedrooms floated above the ocean, the white sand was not so far from where you were staying in, and the horizon was clearer than ever. How lucky you were to have a friend who helped you get over your breakups with a very casual trip to Bora Bora at the Four Seasons hotel. Loneliness invaded you for a second and you decided to get ready for the long-awaited meeting that you would have with her friends.
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
A white beach dress with pink heels and your tan is enough, with the right makeup obviously. It was already 7 pm and your nervous friend looked at her cell phone while texting with someone
-Is it him?- You ask, trying to peek behind her shoulder to see if you could figure out what they're talking about.
-Yes, he is telling me he's here at the bar but he doesn't see us-
-Of course, we are sitting, let me raise my hand- and so you did it.
-Here!!!!- Your friend screams in excitement when she sees 3 tall figures approaching to you. They seemed to walk on a slow pace, almost like the came out of a movie. And yes, your heart almost stopped for a good 10 seconds. Three guys, my gosh, models? What were they again?. God definitely had preferences for some human beings.
The fact that they aere so handsome and well… structured made you blush. Jaehyun, Johnny and ...
-Mark, nice to meet you- the youngest of the 3 of them greeted me, with a dazzling smile that makes his dimples appear. You bit your lip and studied his entire face so that you would never forget him again. -y/n, nice to meet you too-
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
Nothing more and nothing less than Mark Lee himself. His makeup was completely smeared, traces of mascara under his closed eyes. His forehead and nose were reflecting the daylight a bit. It was a hot morning (or evening), and having you next to his body was obviously going to make him sweat. His open, broken lips gave off that smell of alcohol that made you sick. But despite of everything, your sight softened after a couple of seconds. He was sleeping so peacefully, and he was clinging to you like his life depended on it, so you couldn't help but smile.
-Mark... wake up- you whispered softly while you tried to get up.
-Hmmmh, what time is it?- his morning voice made my stomach tingle a bit, your sight never leaving his figure while he starts waking up.
He squinted while he sit up in bed slowly, ruffling his own hair. It was obvious that he was in the same blank state you were a few minutes ago, and you could tell by how he confusingly looked around at the room, until his eyes reached at you. His face expression softened, giving you a shy smile.
-Do you need some clothes?- he asked, blushing when he studied your naked torso with lazy eyes. You realized that you both were entirely naked, and you rushed to cover your breasts with your arms, just to earn a pure laugh from him, that made your head resonate in pain.
-We fucked, y/n, no need to hide- Mark put all his weight on his left elbow, getting closer to you while tilting his face flirtatiously. That made you cheeks go red as ever.
-Yes, but I don't remember anything so your point is automatically invalid- His body hovered yours so fast that you couldn't even process what was happening, until he pecked your lips.
-I remember everything, so I will refresh your memory-
You burst out laughing while he deposited soft pecks all over your face. The situation was so sweet, but it didn't make you feel uncomfortable at all. He interrumpted his love actions and looked at you hungrily.
-Mark, I barely can keep myself awake, i feel like I'm going to puke...-You warned him, reading his intentions.
-Okay okay- he looked down defeated- At least, can we cuddle a bit more? I promise I can make the hangover feel better- He tangled his legs and arms to your body, resting his face on your collarbones.
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
Everything on that evening was talking about the mortality of a crab. Basics like where you were from, what do you do for a living and relationship status open the conversation.
Your attention was drawn to Mark when he started to introduce himself. As a Medicine student, he decided with his 2 best friends that were part of a band to go on a trip to relax due to the busy schedules that consumes their time. The three live together on a small apartment in Korea, where the rent is expensive so they can make it more affordable.
Bora-bora was the destination of their choice. It seems that the band called NCT 127 draw lot of attention from crazy fans who followed them EVERYWHERE, so an expensive place like so would be easier to have a time for them on their own.
Mark spoke always adding "like" between his words, he liked to lay back when he was sipping on his piña colada, but got closer to the table when you talked about your experience as a journalist.
He tried so hard to show interest on a topic he had no idea about, that his questions were kinda clueless, but it was obvious that it was his way to not cut the attraction and chat between you and him. It was a sexual tension you could feel by kilometers, every gaze you had was followed by a shy smile, and you felt tingles on your body everytime you had a bit of interaction.
-Do you guys do shots?- Rosé interrumpted the conversation, scanning the boys reaction.
-I mean, that's why we are here- Johnny combed his hair backwards, already feeling heated by the 2 gin tonics he drank in 15 minutes. I couldn't deny, him on a tight black shirt looked hot as fuck, I could notice how Rosé was drooling for him- Excuse me, maa'am- he raised his hand, calling the waitress- 3 rounds of shots please!-
-Man, we had 2 yesterday and you almost puked on the sea, go easyyyy- you could notice the tipsy state from Jaehyun as well. His eyes were almost closed on a thin line and his dorky smile betrayed him. Mark laughed out loud, first time in the night you heard him like that, with his cheeks tinted red. He took a big sip of his piña colada, looking at you directly at the eyes. Actually, you didnt noticed till that moment, but your legs started to feel a bit numb. Quite usual for you when the alcohol gets up on your head.
-I'm in!- you answer to Johnny's idea. Once the blue shots arrive, you quickly grab one.
-Cheers for this night to be special- he screams with a deep voice, and the other 2 guys howl as response while you burst out laughing.
When you decided that the amount of alcohol on your body was enough, you took a chance to go to the beach to sing and dance to the DJ placed randomly in there.
You felt bliss, the EDM music was filling your senses, but you tried to keep your eyes full opened so you could remember the beautiful but blurry view of the sunset.
Together with your new group of friends were a mess. Jumping, screaming, raising your hands like you could touch the sky, everything seemed possible at that moment. Even dancing and getting laid with Mark.
The music had nothing to do with your plan, but you got dangerously close to him, resting your arms on his shoulders. You could see that he chuckled, tilting his head back so he could see you fully. Both of you were drunk as hell, you thought you were killing it with the flirting skills, but probably you just looked like two fools trying not to fall for the obvious drunken state you were.
-Do you wanna kiss me?- you screamed while "Jenny" sounded on the speakers. What kind of question is that?
-Sure I do- his canadian accent made you bite your lip while smiling- Can I?- his voice tried to mimic yours, but you didnt answered, it wasnt necessary.
Your lips collided as you got close at the same time, and Mark wasted no time to open his mouth and let his tongue in your wet cavity. You moaned so loud, because you knew no one could hear it but him. A fierce fight between both of your tongues started, every graze of them would make yourself wetter and wetter. He squeezed your waist and tried to keep you closer to him if it was possible, in his drunk mind he was scared you could run away from him.
Nothing about the context was romantic at all. You both physically liked eachother and just wanted to make out. No love at first sight, no kiss with fireworks behind, just pure desire.
Adrenaline rushed your body when his hands cupped your ass, that was only covered by the thin dress you decided to wear. Nobody near you could care less about what you two were doing it, but for you, everyone was looking at the show you and Mark were offering, and that obviously turned you on.
You bit Mark's lower lip, sucked on it, while opening your eyes to look directly at him. Eyes closed, he was enjoying how you toyed his lips. The hard grip on your skin, and a bulge poking your stomach made you feel powerful, you were loving the effect you caused on him.
Suddenly, an arm made you break your kiss with Mark. You lose your balance so you hug the guy that was pulling you backwards. Johnny.
-Hey, pornstars, we have some nice shit here- he pointed his hand with his eyes. You could see a tiny bag with a white dust inside. You come to your senses and look around at the crowd to try find Rosé, but it was obvious she already was under the influence. She was on Jaehyun's shoulders, enjoying the music. You sigh, chuckling at the sight of her losing her mind.
-Its my first time though- you commented while you look at Johnny spreading the dust on top of his phone screen with one hand using a credit card. You could notice he was an expert at it, you peek to see Mark right by your side looking at the manouvers as hypnotized as you. Probably it was his first time too.
You both snorted the little substance, and it sucked at first. It was so uncomfortable, but it took minutes for you to get used to that weird sensation on your nose.
You didnt even noticed when everything started to amplify. You could feel the summer breeze making its way around you, the taste of Mark's saliva still on your tongue was strong, the colorful tins of the sky while it was dusking looked so enhanced.
A hand grabbed yours, taking you out of your trance, and almost felt like an orgasm. So warm and so soft, made you wanna scream. You turned to see a fucked out Mark, studying your face with dilated pupils, he was almost as horny as you by only grabbing hands.
He caressed yours with his thumb, and it felt like he was fucking you, your body shivered at it. Mark was enjoying it too, so he brought your fingers closer to his mouth and inserted the index one inside, and started to suck on it. You moaned and felt how your pussy clenched at nothing, the saliva coating your finger felt like caramel, if you could explain the feeling.
-Mark if you keep doing that i'm gonna cum- you told him with a warning tone, he was so inmersed on sucking your finger that he jumped when you talked. He was aroused by the situation too.
He smiled with your finger still inside of his mouth, took it out, holded you by your wrist and started to run towards...
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
-And we ended up here- Mark sumed up the night while you were laying on his chest, caressing it with the tip on your fingers. His, on the other hand, were playing with the locks of your hair.
-Yeah, i remember now, such a night- and then you snapped- Wait... where the fuck is...-
-Yeah, she was having a threesome with the boys. Dont worry, she was having a good time-Mark answered with a playful tone. Of course, that sounds like a very Rosé thing to do. You let out a breathy laugh.
-We could have joined...- you suggested, looking up at him. He took a few seconds to answer, while his eyes moved from one corner to the other of the ceiling, like he was evaluating that scenario.
-Yeah, and sharing? No thanks- he bit his lip and he looked at you with a greedy smile- I felt so lucky to have you screaming my name over and over-
You hit his shoulder with your fist playfully, and he took that as an answer to keep silent and just enjoy the company of the other.
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
2 days went by, you get used to hang out with the boys. All kinds of crazy stuff you could imagine, you were doing it with them, and it felt like heaven. Mark couldnt keep his hands to himself and everytime he had the opportunity, he would make you cum on his fingers or mouth. And the same goes for you, too. Thanks to him, you noticed how good you are at giving blowjobs inside public restrooms.
But nothing lasts forever, sadly, and the last day of your summer vacation arrived. Rosé and you were ready to go back to Seoul, while they would be staying a little bit longer. It hurted, you got used to Mark's attention, and either him or you wanted to ask for eachothers contact. Not because of lack of interest, but because both of you thought that the other saw it as an adventure. You didn't even knew his last name.
His lips devours yours before you could get in the car that was waiting for you on the street -I wont forget you, thanks for this amazing 3 days- he smiled, a tint of sadness on his eyes. You caressed his cheek, pecking his nose, trying to hurry as much as you coulf so you wouldnt start to feel emotional.
-Y/l/n-
He looked at you clueless -What?-
-My last name is y/l/n- you smiled and without waiting for an answer, you close the door of the car.
╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝
-Hey, hey, it's okay- typical of Rosé being so overdramatic. Sure, your finger almost got cut in half while you were trying to cook some carbonara, but it wasnt a big deal, something a few stitches couldn't fix. The only thing that kept your finger from gushing blood out was a piece of toilet paper.
-Please! My friend needs a doctor!!!!- She screamed at the top of her lungs inside the hospital.
-What happened?- a nurse hurried, worried eyes scanning you both.
-She is losing her finger!!!!- Rosé felt she was going to faint.
-Jesus, Rosé, calm down-
The nurse takes a quick look at your finger- Yeah it doesn't look that good, please follow me. You are lucky we don't have that many patients on New Years Eve-
You are guided to a tiny room full of medical stuff, probably where you are going to get your finger sticked together. It hurted as fuck, but you were trying to keep focused on something other than the pain. You looked at the desk with the computer on, and on a hidden corner you noticed a picture of 3 friends, on a place that seemed too familiar to you. Actually, the friends also seemed like an old ones you had... maybe in university? You can't quite remember.
The door opened up while you were trying to dig into your memories , and you looked at the door startled.
-So, Mrs y/n...- that voice, that motherfucking voice. A year has passed. But how the fuck you were supposed to forget it?. You felt your ears buzzing, face heating and heartbeat racing. You were losing your breath and suddenly the pain of your finger got worst and worst.
He didn't turn to look at you, just got inside by looking at his phone, and once he was sit in front of you, his facial expression dropped.
There were the both of you, looking at eachother like dumb teenagers, like your finger wasnt bleeding out, almost like you were backat that bar in Bora-bora again.
-I... uh... yeah, my finger- you stutter, pointing at it. Mark shakes his head, coming back at his professional senses.
Before the medical procedure he performed, he bandaged your finger, and wrote some medicine you had to take for the pain to go away.
-It should be okay on a few weeks, nothing to worry about- he smiled at you, trying to comfort you. You felt your heart drop when he grabbed the healthy of both of your hands and caressed your palm with his thumb, everything felt like a flashback. You looked at him with clueless eyes.
-I... uh... I should come back in a few weeks then- you stuttered, pressing your lips into a thin line while looking at him directly on his eyes. He nods.
-Lee-
You frowned -Huh?-
-My last name is Lee-
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mayatawi · 3 years
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(whoops this got loooong I have OPINIONS. If you wanna skip the leadup, my main point is in the paragraph after the tiny text.)
So I honestly thought the biggest make-or-break issue for whether or not I’d watch rnm s3 would be whether Michael and Alex get together or at least seem to be working toward that, and also the character dynamics in general. I am a character-focused consumer of media. Plot is generally secondary for me; mostly I care about the people.
But as it turns out, the plotting and overall narrative structure of s3 are offending me on, like, a deep spiritual level.
Other people have done a better job than I could pointing out the pacing issues, but in general it comes off like someone writing a WIP without any kind of plan and getting brand new plot ideas every chapter and running with them without bothering to revise anything that came before. I don’t know enough BTS stuff to say whether that’s likely due to time pressures or to Hollier being new to show running (has he done it before?) or to something else entirely, but SO MUCH about this season makes NO SENSE.
What the hell was the sequence of events during Kyle’s kidnapping, and why do none of the accounts given line up? Was anything actually changing in the vision? Was it even about Kyle, and if so, was that the case all along? Why is the audience just left to wonder whether that’s been resolved, or even whether the characters think it’s been resolved?
How the fuck did Liz drive from California to Roswell and then back and then back again in what, three days? And still have time to do literally anything else?
And on a thematic level! Why set up a “Kyle is underappreciated” thread at the beginning and then show nobody worrying about him being missing? What was even the point of the Wyatt storyline, and is that just done now, or is it coming back at some point in the 4 episodes remaining? Why bother bringing Greg back if they were going to retcon his previous characterization and only let him talk to Alex once so far? Why set up a throughline of “characters being called out for their flaws/mistakes” and then exclude Maria from that while inexplicably centering her in the whole season so far?
(And side note, speaking of Maria and flaws, I was trying to think last night—does she even have flaws that the show is willing to acknowledge? Like Liz has her science ethics issues, Max can be heavy-handed and self-righteous, Isobel has her alpha bitch tendencies, Michael is an emotional fucking disaster, Alex is closed off and controlling, Rosa has her addiction issues (and, you know, that whole impulsive teenager thing), Kyle… is a goddamn delight but i think still struggles with his high school self, and also is too easily led by Liz at times. What’s Maria’s flaw? The closest I can think of is being too singleminded about the vision thing early in the season, to the point of risking her own health and Max’s life, but was she ever even shown to be wrong about that? I can’t tell how the show expects us to feel about it! And then that was dropped along with the rest of that storyline, and now she’s the one telling Isobel that she’s too singleminded, which could have been some nice character development if that particular flaw of hers was addressed instead of just completely ignored. Like, I am checking myself, I don’t particularly like her character and I am examining whether it’s a race thing or a “but muh ship!” thing or what, and the thing I keep coming back to is that she is never allowed to be wrong according to the narrative, even when her actions as shown might raise some eyebrows. And flawless characters are boring, but flawed characters who are uncritically presented as flawless are infuriating. And making such a character so prominent in the season’s overall storyline is… A Choice. (Am I forgetting something? Can someone tell me what her narratively acknowledged flaw is supposed to be? And I mean an actual flaw, not a job interview “cares too much”/“works too hard” kind of flaw.))
And that’s not even my main point, just a tangent. My biggest issue with s3 is a corollary to the “characters are written characters, not real people” post I’ve seen going around—the narrative is a written narrative, not real events that happen and a camera just happens to be around to capture some of them. But they’re doing this thing where important events and character moments keep happening offscreen and the audience is just supposed to assume they happened. Why wasn’t Kyle or Max waking up shown onscreen? Why didn’t Rosa even mention her brother when he was missing? Why haven’t Michael and Alex even mentioned Forrest, if only to clear up that Alex isn’t still dating him? What did Michael even do between finding the Deep Sky building at the end of 3x06 and whatever he did the next episode? Did Alex ever tell the others where Kyle was, and that’s why nobody seemed worried? And I’m sure there are other things I’m not thinking of because, again, I’m not actually watching s3, just spoiling the shit out of myself. But from everything I’ve read, this season just has zero sense of narrative and thematic structure. Even malex FINALLY getting together falls somewhat flat in the overall context of the season, because it just… happens. I mean I’m glad it happens, and maybe it’s realistic for these two characters to just say “fuck it, we’ve wasted too much time, let’s do it,” but then we’re back with the issue that these aren’t real people or real events, they’re written characters in a written narrative. And from a storytelling perspective, you don’t spend two and a half seasons setting up an emotional arc just to resolve it with “fuck it.”
And… okay, let’s be real, all of the above is probably still not going to keep me from watching (though I will wait for the season finale at least). But it offends me. They have this amazingly diverse and (mostly) well-developed cast of characters, they have a surprisingly compelling overall storyline, they do such a good job establishing a distinct sense of place, but the one thread that’s supposed to tie everything together—the narrative structure—is a goddamn mess.
I love this crack show. But it could be SO MUCH BETTER.
(edit: in retrospect the tiny text should probably be its own post [hence the tiny text] but fuck it, I’m running with it. Not entirely unlike the s3 writers hey-o!)
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'NO MORE HIDING'
[PETER MAXIMOFF X FEM!OC]
WARNINGS — explicit sexual references, strong language
WORD COUNT — 1,608
PROMPT(S) — “just a little more” & “i want everyone to know that you’re mine”
TRANSLATIONS — koroleva; queen
WRITTEN FOR — @lazylangdon’s one shots contest, round four (smut); she is also the one who was kind enough to make the above graphic for me! <3
———
“If we get caught, Maximoff, I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Peter quirks his signature grin, all cockiness and bravado with no trace of humility to be seen. If Peter Maximoff is capable of embarrassment, it is not something that has ever been witnessed by another human being. Certainly not by Arcadia, at least, and she is quite literally capable of feeling his emotions - something she ordinarily finds useful, but in such circumstances as these the arousal radiating off of him in waves threatens to submerge her in a sea of eroticism.
“I love it when you’re feisty,” he growls lowly, dipping his head so that silver hair brushes against her sharp cheekbones. It tickles, but the sensation is sensual as opposed to playful which one may consider strange for somebody with as natural an affinity for immaturity as Peter. If Arcadia has learned over the past few months that the Peter Maximoff the world sees is not the whole man but rather a fragment projected.
Her fingers twitch with the need to move and suddenly Arcadia finds herself sympathetic to Peter’s everyday plight because this must be how he feels in any given situation: like things are moving too slowly. Torturously, agonisingly slow.
“I’ve never really understood the whole academic spiel,” Peter says after a lengthy pause, “but damn if thinking so hard doesn’t look hot on you, Brodeur.”
She rolls her eyes, more exasperated than annoyed, and her hands find the collar of his shirt. Yanking him forward with more force than strictly necessary, Arcadia effectively swallows his sharp intake of breath when her lips crash against his own.
It’s messy and without preamble, as is always the case when the two of them can find a spare moment alone away from the prying eyes of telepathic professors and fathers who aren’t yet aware that their adult son is living under the same roof as he is, currently making out with his girlfriend in an abandoned classroom two floors above his bedroom. There is still the raw passion that consumes Arcadia whenever Peter is in her presence, but the tenderness is quashed in favour of the rapid removal of clothing and skin-on-skin contact which drives her dizzy with desire every time.
“Are you done with the whole hate sex act?” Peter questions, one eyebrow raised. He’s obviously amused, almost definitely aroused if his body’s natural reaction is any indication, and looking at Arcadia through pupils blown wide with lust.
She brings a hand up to his cheek, cradles it for a moment, then lightly drags her nails across his cherry red, kiss-swollen lips. “Just a little more,” she whispers, breaths tapering into uneven huffs when she feels Peter’s hands weaving through dark tresses and lightly tugging the strands with just the right amount of pressure that the pain is gratifying. “How am I supposed to be annoyed with you when you make me feel like this?”
“It’s all part of my natural charms,” he claims brazenly, breath hot against the shell of her ear. The phantom sensation of his words across her skin sends a stimulating jolt of pleasure through her entire body. “Now, do you wanna talk or do you wanna make out?”
“God, you are such a boy,” she scoffs, slapping his arm lightly. It may have been effective in conveying her point, but it only makes Peter’s salacious smirk widen as he grabs her wrist and pins it above her head with a victorious expression.
“You love me for it,” he states.
It is not a question, though Arcadia finds herself nodding along nonetheless. “And what if I do? I could show you just how much, if you like…” She bats her eyelids with a faux innocent expression.
Peter groans, the sound deep and guttural. With her unrestrained hand pressed flat against his chest, she can feel the vibration of the sound. “Don’t say shit like that right now,” he warns, “I’ve gotta meet Jubilee for training in fifteen and she’ll never let me live this down.”
Finally, it’s Arcadia’s turn to smirk as she glances down at his hardening erection. “Not my problem, Pietro.”
Something she has come to learn in recent weeks is just how much her boyfriend enjoys being referred to by his given name in any circumstance, but especially when they are alone and domesticated, so to speak. The pressure on her wrist increases for a second before Peter relaxes, exhaling slowly.
“You’re a fucking tease, Arcadia Brodeur.”
“Don’t you forget it.”
He leans forward to capture her lips in a kiss which is so uncharacteristically soft that it takes her by surprise. His tongue moves languidly, glides effortless with hers as though they were destined to come together in some synchronised dance, and a plethora of metaphorical fireworks explode in the small room they are encased in.
“I love you,” he says against her lips, repeating the words a dozen times when his mouth leaves hers to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses across the expanse of the exposed flesh of her neck. His teeth lightly graze her collarbone, then again in the same place with a sharper bite, and Arcadia lets out a sound somewhere between a moan and a shriek at the paroxysms of pleasurable pain it leaves in its wake.
“I love you,” he rasps once more, tongue flicking out to soothe the stinging pain he had caused. Arcadia finds herself missing it, though the expert way that Peter works his tongue against her flesh more than makes up for the loss. “And I want everyone to know that you’re mine.”
He brushes his lips against her palm before finally releasing his hold on her wrist which hangs limply at her side for a moment before both of her arms wrap around his neck, clasped at his nape. The ensuing staring contest is charged with electric energy, the sexual tension so palpable one could almost certainly reach out and touch it.
“I love you too,” she says at long last when the silence has run its course. “I just wish we didn’t continue to hide away like this is something to be ashamed of.”
He cups her cheeks, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the grooves of her cheekbones. “I’m not ashamed of us, koroleva,” he insists firmly, “I just didn’t want to put any strain on our relationship with the whole Daddy Issues thing I’ve got going on here right now.”
“You’re an idiot,” she deadpans, “if you think I wouldn’t want to be here with you every step of the way, Peter. Even if your dad is terrifying…”
“Nah, he’s a softie really,” Peter claims, “otherwise he’d have smothered me in my sleep by now with how annoying I act around him.”
“Just around him?”
Peter mock gasps. “I am hurt, Arcadia. Shocked and hurt.”
“You should get over it pretty fast, Quicksilver,” she teases before unlooping her arms and giving his abs a firm pat. “You’d better go now before Jubilee sends out a search party.”
They both know that she would, so Peter doesn’t object beyond a frustrated sigh.
“Maybe deal with that first, though,” she adds. Her hand reaches out to lightly palm him through his jeans, revelling in the ensuing groan he emits as the heat travels from her cheeks to her clit in a way that causes her knees to quiver. She hooks her thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans to steady herself.
For a moment, neither of them speak. They aren’t confident that they could string together a coherent sentence with their hips grinding together with unadulterated lust; their ragged breaths indiscernible from one another’s so that it seems impossible to know where Peter Maximoff ends and Arcadia Brodeur begins.
“To be continued,” he pants after a minute or so has passed. He takes a step back but doesn’t tear his hooded gaze away from the dishevelled Arcadia. “We’ve got unfinished business here.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Arcadia responds, excitement rushing through her at the thought of continuing their little rendezvous. It’s excruciating to have to wait, but she figures having sex in a classroom with windows overlooking the lake where hoards of people seem to be more often than not probably isn’t the wisest decision, no matter how much she and Peter may enjoy the thrill of sneaking around so carelessly. The soft, red lace of her panties becomes wetter with the thought.
Alas, public makeout sessions are hot in places like the mall or the cinema, not so much at a school.
Pausing just before Peter leaves, she has to ask, “Seriously though; why this room?”
Peter’s smirk returns with a vengeance. It’s unclear whether this is due to whatever answer he may give, or if he’d picked up on the tremor in her voice as she’d asked. “Because Scott and Jean walk past here every day at precisely three pm,” he informs, watching with impish glee as her eyes widen comically, “and would you look at the time. No more hiding, koroleva.”
The clock strikes three hardly a second later and Peter gives a mocking salute before speeding out of the room in the blink of an eye.
“Peter Maximoff, I’m going to fucking kill you!”
Peering through the open doorway, Scott and Jean make no effort to conceal their snickering. “Might want to deal with that hickey first, Cady,” the redhead advises, flouncing away with her boyfriend before Arcadia can formulate a witty retort. She can feel the amusement emanating from the couple as they disappear.
God, she needs to get her own place. And possibly a new boyfriend. First things first: makeup.
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I straight up check your profile daily for the southern raiders analysis you’re working on. 👀👀 where IS IT 😩
bRUH I am so excited to drop this analysis you have no idea (It’s creeping up to 22k+ I am gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyy). The only problem is that my TSR analysis and “Moon theory” are so incredibly hard to structure and articulate. I’m happy you’re so excited for it, though!!! Truly, it’s an honor. I’ll give you a taste of my madness and what’s to come, but be warned: it may be a bit hard to follow because TSR (from how I’ve come to understand it) is about the vagueness of beginnings, endings, and cycles, so there isn’t really a starting point for me to begin with. (So it may seem a tad bit like a ramble in some points that I haven’t fleshed out yet/am summarizing for this ask)
This analysis has me on trails like THIS brilliant nonsense, and I am 1000000000% here for it:
Roku: “The spirit's name is Koh, but he is very dangerous. They call him The Face Stealer.”
Katara: “We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.”...“That’s him. That’s the monster.”
Lion Turtle: “To bend another's energy, your own spirit must be unbendable, or you will be corrupted and destroyed.”
Roku: “When you speak with him, you must be very careful to show no emotion at all. Not the slightest expression, or he will steal your face.”
Hama: “Congratulations, Katara. You’re a bloodbender.”
(If Katara had killed Yon Rha, she would be giving up her identity--her face. Not only would she have become a killer, but she would be killing what made her Katara)
Aang: “Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”
Forgive him--approach him for what he is, not the faces your memories or your heart are having him wear. See him for the pathetic man he is in that moment right in front of you.
Aang’s forgiveness is seeing someone for the sum of their parts. It’s judging them and seeing through into their very soul, just like the Firebending Masters saw through Zuko being the Crown Prince and Aang being the Avatar. That meant nothing to the Masters. What did matter to them was who the boys were right there, right then, right in front of them.
“Why should I hold a grudge against you for something you did in a past life? After all, you’re a different person, now. You’ve come to me with a new face.”
But anyways...
If I can give no other take-away from my analysis and moon theory, it’s that Yin and Yang are not two entities; they are three. I think the fandom’s misunderstanding of it may be why the discourse on TSR (and Aang, Katara, and Zuko) is so black and white (pun intended lol). 
“But Yin and Yang are obviously two things. Don’t you know the symbol?” I hear some people already saying.
Wrong, sir.
It has never been just Yin and Yang. Yin and Yang have never existed as just two things.
They are Yin and Yang and Wu Wei.
(Aunt Wu has her name for a reason, and she has the mark of the wise in her hair for a reason, too...AND she is at odds with Sokka in The Fortuneteller for a reason, too!!!...but that’s for the analysis😉)
Balance isn’t good triumphing over evil. Balance is good and evil. Balance is standing on the flow between two opposites--it’s the compliment that connects them. (The koi fish live in an oasis for a reason.)
I’ll explain what Wu Wei is later in the full analysis (like many things in here), but here’s some of my evidences and proofs for the “Yin Yang trio”:
The Tibetan “Wheel of Dharma”
(I’ll also explain the Wheel and Dharma and etc. later because it has everything to do with Koh and the moon) Long story short, the wheel and its spokes are representative of the 8 steps to enlightenment and the cycle of rebirth. 
Look at the hub of the wheel. It’s a swirl made of 3 parts.
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It is also a white lotus
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Here’s the colored version of the wheel (as an alter):
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Recognize the colors?
BLUE, WHITE (or gold, depending), & RED
These are the “THREE TREASURES” OR JEWELS.
They symbolize DHARMA, BUDDHA, & SANGHA respectively. 
KATARA, AANG, & ZUKO
water, air, & fire
T H R E E
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Bato: “Ice dodging is a ceremonial test of wisdom, bravery, and trust.
Bato: “The spirits of water bear witness to these marks...”
Why does Bato say spirit(s) plural? The Ocean and the Moon are only two spirits. The Ocean can’t be two things. Right?
WRONG
Yue: “The legends say the Moon was the first waterbender. Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves.”
The Moon--singular. The Tides--plural (push and pull)
Lion Turtle: “In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements, but the energy within our senses.”
The moon pushing and pulling the tide is the moon bending the energy of its world. 
Katara finding balance between “being too weak to do it” or “strong enough not to” is her bending the energy within herself.
It’s two solutions written as a question but said as a statement.
Yue: “Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves”
THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ABOUT AANG AND ZUKO LEARNING FROM KATARA. Katara had already learned from Aang and Zuko all leading up to TSR. That was her studying. TSR was her test.
TSR is Zuko’s and Aang’s studying. Sozin’s Comet is their test.
Bato: “For Sokka, the Mark of the Wise. The same mark your father earned. For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us. And for Aang, the Mark of the Trusted. You are now an honorary member of the Water Tribe.”
Aang - Wise (”you’re pretty wise for a kid”)
Katara - Brave (the same mark her mother earned)
Zuko - Trusted (”I was the first person to trust you”)
Sokka - Bato ("I am to have no part in this--you pass or fail on your own.”)
Yin and Yang are nothing without their dance. The Avatar and the Firelord mean nothing if they don’t have a world to rebuild.
The valley means nothing if there isn’t anyone to live in it.
Fighting is useless if there isn’t someone to fight for, otherwise it is “selfish and stupid”
Katara had to have a reason to return from Yon Rha. She needed to have Aang waiting for her. If she didn’t have a reason to stay, then she wouldn’t have a reason to go.
To have a reason to sleep, a person has to have a reason to wake up.
Katara: “Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone; that it's all his responsibility.”
Hakoda: “Maybe that's his way of being brave.”
(Bato: “For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us.”)
Katara: “It's not brave! It's selfish and stupid! We could be helping him! And I know the world needs him, but doesn't he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?!”
(It was, in fact, not easy for Aang to ‘do nothing’)
Katara: “I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I'm so sad and angry...and hurt.”
Hakoda: “I love you more than anything. You and your brother are my entire world. I thought about you every day when I was gone, and every night when I went to sleep, I would lie awake missing you so much it would ache.”
(AND YUE IS ONE OF THE ONES TO SAVE AANG IN THE OCEAN FOR A REASON)
Thinking and missing: a matter of mind (who) and heart (want). 
Iroh: “Who are you? And what do you want?”
Sokka: “We need to go back. I wanna see Dad, but helping Aang is where we're needed the most.”
Mai: “I love Zuko more than I fear you.”
BUT YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MOON FOR A HOT SECOND???
I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOON
I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT 2 MOONS
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OH
OH REALLY???
OH REALLY, ZUKO
A FEW HOURS YOU SAY?
THEN TELL ME, ZUKO
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WHY IS THE SUN GOING UP
WHEN IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT A FEW HOURS LATER
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AND KATARA IS SLEEPING SO YOU CAN’T TELL ME IT’S BECAUSE YOU RISE WITH THE SUN OTHERWISE SHE’D BE WIDE AWAKE DURING THE FULL MOON THAT SHE USES TO BLOODBEND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES LATER
THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS A HARVEST MOON
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WHICH IS THE LAST FULL MOON OF THE SUMMER 
(and looks off color when it rises/falls because of the angle of the rise/fall in the atmosphere...it’s normal once overhead)
AND SYMOLIZES HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF
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“We’re going to find the MAN who took my mother from me.”
“That’s him. That’s the MONSTER.”
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8 spokes on the wheel
Katara was 8 when Kya was killed
8 steps to enlightenment (the “Eightfold Path”)
8 phases of the moon
8 faces of Koh
“One of your previous incarnations tried to slay me! Be it 8 or 9 hundred years ago” (but time is an illusion, so hundreds mean nothing)
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THE OTHER TWO MOONS THAT ARE CONSUMING MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT???:
1.) The WOLF MOON--the first full moon of the new year (a love between the wolf and the moon in the harshest winters...connection is kindof obvious lmao)
2.) THE THUNDER MOON
The Thunder Moon is the full moon of July. It is also known as the Buck Moon--for when young buck regrow their antlers.
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Yue: “My hair turned white.”
Zuko: *cuts and re-grows his hair*
Aang: “I have hair?”
The Thunder Moon--the full moon of July--is also the beginning of a certain Buddhist holiday.
DHARMA DAY
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WHICH CELEBRATES THE BEGINING OF BUDDHISM AND THE FIRST OF THE 8 STEPS (the first spoke of the Dharma Wheel) TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT
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AVATAR IS ALL ABOUT CYCLES
THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THEM
I haven’t even touched Jung, Koh, Hinduism, and Buddhism yet
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or the fact that Katara and Kya are the only characters in the entire series to wear moons on their clothing and that, together, they form an actual lunar phenomenon
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or why the spirit oasis isn’t a complete circle
or the fact that this thing that Aang is told to chase is just like Whaletail Island:
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or how important the Great Divide and the Solstice are
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AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS--RIGHT DOWN TO THE SOUND DESIGN--IS ABSOLUTELY MONUMENTAL IN UNDERSTANDING THE SHOW, ITS MESSAGE, ENERGYBENDING, AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE
TLDR: Idk how the heck I’m going to arrange or articulate this analysis because it is WILD. Be warned: There is literally no exact beginning and ending to this analysis because the whole point of Yin and Yang is that is has no beginning or ending (...kindof...), so you’ll have to bear with me once I’m done editing it into something that’s somewhat coherent.
These are just SOME of the things I’ve been able to answer with my moon theory and analysis of The Southern Raiders as it currently stands:
Why “letting go” isn’t really letting go (as we understand it...see: Aang’s confrontation with Koh)
Why Lake Laogai and the Spirit World are symbolically the same thing.
Zuko’s advice to the bullfrog is actually a summary of the show, energybending, the origin of bending, and the definition of Aang’s “forgiveness” I stg
Why “Sokka’s instincts” are the reason Katara yells at Sokka
Believe it or not, every time Katara mentions her mother, it is at specific times for specific reasons.
^^^same thing for the moon, lack of moon, moon positioning, etc.
Katara’s mother’s necklace is more important than we realize.
Who the faces of Koh are and WHY they are there.
The true meaning of Jet’s sacrifice.
Why Jet’s episode about the dam explains the entirety of TSR as it pertains to Katara (all the way down to the little girl who runs to get her doll after the dam breaks)
Why Katara actually DID forgive Yon Rha, and the fact that she doesn’t even know it is proof that she did
^^^^^Aang’s definition of forgiveness is completely misunderstood by the fandom, and the way he “forgives” is sososo much deeper than “moving on”, and it is DEFINATELY by no means “doing  nothing” or “excusing” past actions.
The importance of lightning, Zuko, Aang, and Katara.
The absolutely monumental and not nearly talked about importance of Jeong-Jeong like holy crap.
How Katara and Azula are just as much of a Yin and Yang as Zuko and Aang but not in the way we think they are
Why Koh has the Blue Spirit’s face
Why Koh DOESN’T have the Painted Lady’s face.
Who Ni-Ni from Katara’s campfire story in The Puppetmaster is 
How and why Iroh was able to learn firebending from the Masters even though he didn’t have a partner. 
How/Why Azula had her breakdown and why she saw her mother in the mirror
Why “Leaves from the Vine” and “Four Seasons” are the same song, explain Azula’s downfall, and explain the Yin and Yang of TSR.
Why Katara and Sokka are so often mistaken for parental figures.
Why Aang’s flashbacks to the Air Nomads are so important in understanding TSR.
Why Toph and Suki disappear after the campfire in TSR.
How Hakoda, Gyatso, and Kya are all connected.
Why it is so dang important that Azula shows up in the beginning of TSR.
The importance of the Spirit Oasis.
Energybending, healing with waterbending, Aang’s trauma, and Zuko’s scar.
Why Zuko gives Katara the exact opposite advise in TSR that he gave her in the catacombs. 
How everything could be predicted and read by the moon.
WHY YIN AND YANG ARE THREE THINGS AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THREE THINGS.
HOW ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF THIS TIES BACK TO THE MOON AND BUDDHIST BELIEFS--AND YEAH THE MOON AND BUDDHISM AND HINDUISM ARE MORE CONNECTED IN ATLA THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
AND HOW IT LEADS INTO OUR MODERN UNDERSTANDING OF THE SELF--BECAUSE JUNG TOOK GREAT INFLUENCE IN HIS DEVELOPING THEORY OF THE CONSCIOUS AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS FROM THE HINDU/BUDDHIST RELIGIONS 
^^^^AND ALSO THE THEORY OF THE SHADOW AND THE PERSONA 
The ocean is a deep, dark, unknown place with a lot of hidden monsters (like Yon Rah). Katara needed a light to find her monster, but she also needed somewhere she could breathe when she came back up for air.
If she didn’t have both Zuko and Aang, Katara would have drowned. 
I wasn’t kidding when I said this was a thesis, and what I’ve said and listed here isn’t even all that I have.
btw This all does line up on the traditional Yin Yang symbol we know and see in the show, but I don’t have enough space here for that lmao. That’ll be in the analysis
I hope you enjoyed this little taste, my friend, because I need to sit down for a hot second before my brain leaks out of my ears. Sorry for the ramble. I promise the analysis isn’t like this lol. This is just me trying to summarize as best as I can. 
***Disclaimer: My points are always subject to change since I am still researching. These are the facts as I’ve found and applied them to the evidences I’ve noted from in the show. I’m always open for friendly discussion or any directions to better sources on Buddhism/Tao/Jung!***
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