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suitmana · 1 month

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i will be the first to admit that this might be reaching a bit. also discussions of religious concepts in lgts ahead

so catholicism in lgts is explored through the struggles of living in a small catholic town like kieferberg, and literally everything about walpurga, the forest deity turned saint. but imo there's also something to be said about how elise obtains the tender flesh: this might be a reflection of the sacrament of the eucharist as understood during the medieval era.

but what is the eucharist anyway?

in catholic doctrine the eucharist is supposed to be the body of christ manifested through transubstantiation: the transformation of bread and wine into his flesh and blood respectively. this is based on the events of the last supper in the bible, wherein before his death jesus offers his body to his disciples through the bread and wine that they share. thing is, current understanding of transubstantiation is moreso in a metaphysical sense: catholics who do believe in it don’t actually think that they’re eating jesus’ physical body.

that wasn't always the case with medieval catholicism, however. there were theorists like st aquinas and berengar who argued for a metaphysical transubstantiation, but powerful church officials like cardinal humbert (who actually forced berengar to recount his claims) also believed that the faithful partaking in the eucharist were actually eating the literal, physical flesh and blood of jesus. there was quite a bit of concern too because of this: the body of christ, torn apart and chewed on by not just the faithful, but potential sinners?

the average catholic of that time probably didn't care much for the specifics of how transubstantiation worked (either way, the bread is/represents jesus, whether or not that was physical or not), but the point is there was an ongoing debate—if only among high-ranking church officials and theologians—about what the eucharist really was. now keep in mind that aforementioned literal physicality of the eucharist, and how similarly that plays out to the relevant witching hour segments in lgts.

i want to first highlight the scene where the crows in murim's domain rip out parts of elise's hair for the wheat testament:

and the aftermath:

they sure are hungry, huh? and the way they get at elise is pretty violent, judging by her screams and the sounds of tearing flesh. their carnal hunger, expressed through their lines and the violence in how they form the wheat testament from her hair, brings to mind similar fears of an animalistic, near sacrilegious ingestion of a certain sacred body turned bread, only this time realized in a demonic trial. in other words, the entire trial subverts christ's supposed physical presence in the bread. besides, it's stated outright that elise is meant to physically combine a piece of her body—her hair—into that wheat.

she does just that in the windmill:

her hair baked into the (apparently unleavened) bread is the tender flesh that the crows hungered for, that would eventually find its way onto ozzy's table.

so the process of acquiring the tender flesh seems to imitate that transubstantiation in the celebration of the eucharist. if that's the case, i wonder why ozzy and his minions would design them this way…

btw here's my sources for medieval transubstantiation (despite my unhinged rambling i did do a bit of research):

https://www.jstor.org/stable/23964057 (Ego Berengarius by Chadwick, H., 1989)

https://global.oup.com/academic/product/some-later-medieval-theories-of-the-eucharist-9780199658169 (Some Later Medieval Theories of the Eucharist by Adams, M. M., 2010)

#little goody two shoes #lgts #elise lgts #father hans' study #considering that the game takes place from the pov of someone who's not a fan of the church #which considering that it's kieferberg is understandable #it's interesting how readily she throws herself into what's basically a subversion of one of catholicism's most central sacraments #and to her credit she does technically get what she wants #even if it is a monkey's paw #it gives me Feelings #haven't analyzed the sweetest nectar in connection to this yet #but there are some parallels i feel #or similar functions #as the wine accompanying the bread in the eucharist #so the sweetest nectar—which does look like red wine and is made from a mixture of blood and water—accompanies the tender flesh #definitely did not plan on posting this during holy week no not at allllll

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succstosucculent · 8 months

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So does anybody else find the Shelley Memorial extremely erotic, or am I just weird? 🫣

#percy shelley #percy bysshe shelley #university college #oxford #this is my first time seeing this statue #it gives me feelings #good drawing reference #me perving on a statue #a dead man statue at that

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3dollarbillyalls · 1 year

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Wes being extra (as always okay). But this outfit was something... Special.

#limp bizkit #wes borland #it gives me feelings

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nerdetiquette · 11 months

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I love listening to juno steel, it really just calls out all my mommy issues

#I just finished listening to monster’s reflection again #it gives me feelings #the penumbra podcast #tpp #junoverse #juno steel

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daryfromthefuture · 2 years

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Today I offer you...

...cheese. This is so extremely cheesy that I don't want to put it on ao3, but I also don't want the 2k words to be for nothing so I'm leaving this here.

It's just some post-canon Doc and Marty fluff. I also love rainy settings, if you haven't noticed already.

The night was unusually cold for a Californian fall. By the end of November, the leaves on the trees and bushes were colored a dirty brown, and the grass had lost its bright, optimistic green. Clouds had been collecting themselves up in the sky for the entire day now, hinting at the thunderstorm that was hitting the town for roughly half an hour already. The citizens were asleep, most likely lulled by the steady sound of raindrops and thunder.

Yet, Marty McFly, a seventeen year old teenager, was wide awake and standing in front of a run-down garage at John F. Kennedy drive. He was alone as he could be, at one AM, no one would be around to notice him and drag him back home. And Marty was happy about it - the last thing he needed were concerned gazes and attempts to take care of him.

He didn't deserve any of it. Not after all the screw-ups he'd made in two and a half weeks back in late October.

His best friend, Doctor Emmett Brown, had used to live in this garage before the time travel adventure had taken place. The building had been Marty's second home, or just home, even. Somewhere where he felt safe, appreciated, welcome and loved. But now, thanks to Marty himself, it was empty.

It was his fault Doc had decided to remain in the 19th century. Of course, who wouldn't choose an intelligent woman and two quirky and smart kids over a quiet and dumb teenager who couldn't even follow simple instructions? And while Marty had seemingly done nothing but ruin the universe every time they'd traveled, it had been to Doc to fix it. Marty wasn't surprised that Doc was tired of him.

But the boy himself had never missed a person so terribly as he missed Doc Brown.

He slowly made his way up to the door of the lab, his wet hair hanging right into his vision. He didn't bother brushing it away as he heavily lowered himself to the cold pavement, staring into nothing.

Marty considered going inside for a moment. The key theoretically was still under the doormat, all he had to do was open the door and step into the garage. But he knew he couldn't do it. The great memories he'd created in this building were too overwhelming for him at the moment. He didn't want to feel happiness when his best friend felt it perfectly without him. And he wasn't ready to see the once lively interior covered in layers of dust. He wasn't ready to go inside and be met with a practically dead place.

Thunder cracked above him, and Marty shivered from the cold that came over him. Reminded of how foolish and weak he was, he let out a pitiful whimper. What was he even doing here? Why was he here if it brought up so many things he didn't want to ponder about?

Against his will, he felt tears burning in his throat and he tried his best to swallow them away. Oh, how badly he missed Doc. How badly he missed his laughter and jokes, his gentle smile, his way of explaining things, how he cursed when something didn't work, his saxophone playing, his warm and so comforting hugs…

Marty couldn't prevent the tears from falling. It had finally become too much for him. He tried his best to keep it together, to handle this situation like a man and accept the fact that Doc was done with him for good. But he couldn't. Not when everything still was so fresh.

And so Marty McFly sat there, sobbing bitterly, at the doorstep of his best friend's home, soaked through and hands and feet cold as ice, in the middle of a rainy November night.

***

Emmett brought his second DeLorean time machine up to 88 mph, his plan being to grab some books from his old lab. His older son Jules had recently expressed an interest in science fiction, and since that genre wasn't as spread in 1893 as it was in the late 20th century, Doc had decided to make a quick trip and grab some great alien and space stories he'd collected over the years.

He carefully hid the car behind a Burger King billboard, promising himself to make it quick. He didn't want to risk the DeLorean being discovered. He jogged up to his old lab, smiling fondly at its sight. It had been a while since he'd last seen the place, and he suddenly felt that he had indeed missed it a little.

He shook his umbrella in order to dry it up a little. He had surely chosen a fantastic day for his return, as it seemed.

Preparing himself for his mission, the scientist went up to the metal fence and was surprised to see that it had already been opened. He stopped in his step. Strange. Had there been an intruder? Or had something else caused the lock to jump open?

But then he heard it. Sobbing.

And it came straight from his door.

He frowned, puzzled. But as he went up to the entrance to the building, he saw a small, hunched figure sitting on the floor.

Doc's heart skipped a beat. Marty. His greatest companion, his little future boy. His Marty, crying his big, kind heart out right in front of Emmett's lab. What had he and the DeLorean only done to this poor boy?

At a loss for what to do, Emmett crouched down and set a hand on the teen's shoulder. "Marty?"

Marty flinched. Doc. Doc was crouched down in front of him, eyebrows furrowed with worry and a trace of tenderness. He was really there. Marty immediately stopped the flow of tears, extremely embarrassed. "D-Doc?"

Emmett ran a hand up and down Marty's arm. "Yes, yes, it's me. What are you doing here in this weather, let alone this hour?!"

"I, uh, I-", Marty cursed internally as he choked on tears again and his voice cracked, "I wanted to- uh, get away from home and- and think about stuff. Didn't expect you to show up."

Doc sighed with great sympathy. "Oh, Marty…"

The boy quickly jumped to his feet, fiddling with his wet t-shirt. "I, um, I don't mean to be a bother. You wanted to go in there, didn't you? Please, go ahead, I'm not stopping you."

Emmett sighed once again before unlocking the door and stepping inside without another word. When Marty didn't follow him a few seconds later, he reached out and pulled the boy into the garage by his arm.

"Doc! You didn't have to-"

"Nonsense!" Emmett interrupted him, "You're going to catch your death out there. Just look at you, your lips are blue already. And you're shivering. I'm not gonna let you freeze." He walked over to his closet, fetching a cozy sweater and a pair of pajama pants. He handed them to Marty. "Come on, go to the bathroom and change. Then we can talk about whatever is on your mind, alright?"

Marty simply nodded and did as Doc asked him to, not only because it was the inventor’s request, but also because he genuinely was cold and tired. He threw his wet clothes on the floor before returning to the living room.

There, Doc immediately wrapped him into a large comforter and picked him up, setting him on top of Doc's old squeaky bed. Marty didn’t protest, very well aware that he was in desperate need of this warmth and comfort.

Emmett sat down next to him, stroking his unruly hair. Marty couldn't help but sniffle as he felt himself giving in to his emotions again. He soon sensed that he wasn’t able to hold it in any longer. Instinctively, he buried his tear-stained face in Doc's chest, letting out a heavy and heartbreaking sob.

The scientist held him tightly, knowing that it was best for Marty to just cry it out. He rubbed the kid's back as he shuddered with sobs, feeling his shirt growing damp with tears. Hesitantly, he kissed the top of Marty’s head, resting his chin on his hair. "Shhhh, hey, Marty. I'm right here, I've got you. Everything's okay…"

As Marty's crying didn't stop, Doc began to hum a lullaby and rocked the teen back and forth, adjusting the blanket a little. He could feel Marty relax in his arms and rest his head on Doc's chest, eyes closed. He wasn't asleep, Doc could tell, but the scientist noticed the dark bags under his eyes and he wondered when the last time Marty had gotten a full night's sleep had been. Emmett pressed the boy a little closer to himself, offering as much love as possible. Marty flinched as thunder once again rumbled above them.

“I’m sorry,” Marty finally said after a bit of silence. “For making such a scene, I mean.”

“Shh, there, don’t apologize. I’m not blaming you for anything.” Doc paused. “I’m sorry, Marty. I’m sorry for leaving you when you seemingly needed me most.”

The teenager actively shook his head. “No, no. It’s okay, Doc, I understand. You’ve got a family, what the hell do you need me for? I don’t want to be in the way.”

Doc gasped. “Marty, great Scott! What on earth gave you the idea that I don’t care about you anymore?!”

“Well, maybe the fact that you haven’t come to visit me in a month and- and didn’t even tell me if you’d ever be back when you left on the train,” Marty said sheepishly.

“Oh, Marty….I promise that this is not true. I still care about you and want you to be safe. I left you alone for a while so you can enjoy a few calm weeks without any time travel shenanigans. I never intended to make you feel unappreciated or forgotten. I’m sorry, Marty.” He pulled the boy closer again, still feeling the urgent need to hold him close. Oh, how badly he’d missed this teen during the past years. He’d missed him so badly that he hadn’t even really noticed it.

While stroking Marty’s back and hair, he realized that he was close to falling asleep. Yet, he seemed to prevent himself from doing so. “Marty?”

Marty opened one eye, the sleepiness evident in his face. “Hmmmm?”

“You can sleep, it’s alright. I’m not going anywhere soon.” Doc smiled.

“Uhm, yeah, I-” Marty suddenly looked down, puzzling the scientist. “I really wanna sleep.” He sobbed again. “I’m so tired, Doc. But I can’t sleep. Every time I fall asleep, I see you or my family dying. Mostly you, though. I- I see you getting shot and bleeding out and I can’t do shit about it. I don't want to see that again.”

So Marty was having nightmares about their adventures. Doc felt a pang in his heart at that thought. How had he dared to leave this boy hanging? He gathered the teen against his chest so he could listen to his heartbeat. “It’s okay, Marty, I’m here. I’m with you, you’re safe. We’re both safe. I promise that nothing will happen to me, and I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Just rest now, okay?”

Marty nodded sleepily, snuggling up to his best friend and allowing Doc to wrap him up in the comforter like a mummy. The steady beat of Emmett’s heart and the warmth he was providing soon lulled him to sleep.

Doc gently held the sleeping boy, kissing his forehead the same way he did that with his sons. “I love you, kid. Sorry for leaving you behind for so long.”

As the rain continued to hit the roof and the rest of the town, Emmett silently made himself a promise: As soon as he’d be back in the 1890s, he’d talk to Clara. Somehow, he was sure he’d find a way to convince her to move back to the 1980s - for the sake of the space-time-continuum, and the sake of his and Marty’s happiness.

#bttf #back to the future #CHEESE ALERT #man what the hell am i doing with my life #i love platonic cuddling between them tbh #they deserve hugs #they are best friends THEY DESERVE HUGS #doc brown #marty mcfly #bttf fic #GOD what the hell ignore me #i just need to get it out #it gives me feelings #i am not normal #im so weird #OH AND DON'T TAG AS M*MMETT PLEASE #or else i will break into your home and steal your fridge

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aromedame · 1 year

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#it gives me feelings #it girl #red nails #gold jewelry #smoking

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snowbat-does-other-shit · 2 years

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Josh Groban literally sings the most ship projectable songs ever I swear to g-d I am just slowly adding his discography to all my freaking shipping playlists and they make me feel things every freaking time

#josh groban #his music is so good #it gives me feelings #my jukebox and reylo feels #it’s not fair

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the-night-puncher · 2 years

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if we get all of sandman on netflix i hope the new corinthian gets to meet jed.

#the sandman spoilers #the sandman netflix #their relationship was kinda cute and jed quoting him in the end #it gives me feelings

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stil-lindigo · 12 days

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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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