#it is still very much abandoned and unfinished but IT'S FINE I STILL HAVE IT THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS

[lgbtlunaverse]

Found out earlier last year that the fic which was the 2nd biggest contibutor to me being into bnha and wanting to write fic for it myself at all was deleted along with the author's account. Was heartbroken, did several internet deepdives to find the author (hello old fanfiction dot net account) which went nowhere but just now i found the fucking fic again wayback machine i love you forever

#it is still very much abandoned and unfinished but IT'S FINE I STILL HAVE IT THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS #the number 1 contributor btw is twt user spacedaichi who i followed bcs of haikyuu but who got into bnha fic #which got me juuust interested enough to check out a new manga chapter and then chapter 350 broke my brain #but this fic was still IT. I only knew plotpoints through fandom osmosis manga screenshots and video essays but i LOVED these characters #in hindsight it got some things wrong but it is still incredibly dear to me #for example kurogiri is... well it's very jarring to have inko adress him like a same age friend and to have aizawa's league buddy be MAGNE #but it was 2018-2019 it's not like the author could have KNOWN lol #for the curious the fic is 'ohana means family' by goatslikehummus/noahlikeshummus (name changed at some point) #though you will not find it on ao3 of course #anyway this is why you download your favorite fics people!

[cat--comic]

blog 1. happy birthday

welcome to the new cat comic blog! if you're reading this on tumblr, hello! if you're reading this on neocities, i love you more. page looks pretty snazzy, right? check out the very pretty melankorin.net, this page looked a lot more plain before i ate that page's design aesthetic.

ok.

it just so happens that yesterday, the 13th of april, 2024, was cat comic's first birthday. this comic is officially one year old! goo goo ga ga! it makes me glad and more than little scared that i've been working on this for so long. it's my longest-lived project to date and still going strong, which means a lot coming from my bloody trail of abandoned projects.

what the hell is cat comic about?

cat comic is a story born out of a lot of my fears vis-a-vis my creative projects. it's a story about creation, whether that deals with art, identity, or culture, and about the history that doggedly stamps itself on any creation, and about the problems of indie projects. it's a story about a cat and a dog and some other various animals who get into lots of trouble, and it's mainly a story about the end of the world.

i think you can tell that there's a lot of throughlines to my other work (unfinished or otherwise), which is pretty thematically appropriate. actually, cat comic was originally reusing far too much of eyrie, an old comic idea of mine. eyrie followed an aspiring paladin and their little buddy as they made their way to the shining capital of a theocratic nation, delving into a mirror world that reflected public perception of things along the way. it was a pretty fun concept.

anyway, it informed a lot of cat comic's original premise—it began with an ascent from belowcloud to a shining city in the sky. huh... sounds familiar. like eyrie, it also dealt a lot with divinity, mirrors, and perfection (as in: perfection in the eyes of society, not cat comic's current sense of it). it's fun looking back at these early drafts of cat comic because you can clearly see all the influences i was pulling on, big or small. i was pretty fine with doing this because, as it pains me to remember, cat comic was to be a "fun" and "short" project where i could "do whatever". haha.

cat comic's changed a lot since then and it's also hardly changed at all. a lot of the original ideas are still there in the batter, but it's also evolved into something pretty different and much closer to my heart. and it will continue to change and evolve! although perhaps not quite so drastically as it has over the last year.

what's the plan with this thing?

i had a conversation with a friend a while ago (hiii ardenna i know you're reading this. love you) about our respective story projects and our problems working on them as single creators. i don't have a team for art or writing—it's all me, babey—and that means everything about this project is going to take what we in the industry call a "long time".

this time next year, i want to have a comprehensive plot. that might sound like a lot of time for not a lot of work but believe me i need it—i'm doing a bit of a unique format for this story and i want to put the time in to make sure i stick the landing with it. my secondary goals for the next year also include finalizing designs for all of the main cast and making sure they're all fleshed out... basically, by next year, i want to be able to start actually drawing the comic. i don't want to start drawing it then but, just, you know, be able to.

as of last week, i've handed in my senior project (and passed with flying colors, thank you), which means i can start turning my attention to things other than that. i've already talked a bit in my 2024 blog post about my plans for the year and how i would like to devote the rest of the spring to exercising my comic muscles. i would like to stick to this plan, despite the fact that school is trying to murder me.

right now, i only have vague ideas of what those exercises will be. once i'm completely done with my senior project (report handed in at the end of this month) i'll start workshopping them. again, my priority with them is not telling a story so much as working on coloring, panelling and figuring out my workflow.

and, apart from my year-long goals and season-long goals, i just want to flesh out these pages a little more. i kind of rushed getting these up because i wanted to hit the birthday (and i didn't even manage that LOL). i want to get some more of my brain bits out on canvas! but they never tell you how hard it is to figure out how much you want to share and how much you want to keep to yourself for now. i'm making little lists and i think i'm doing a pretty good job.

final notes (SAPPY WARNING!!!)

thanks to my friends (hi again) who are very excited about my comic. it means an immeasurable amount. friendship forever

and to everyone else... remember: birds can't fly with wet wings. goodbye for now!

#blog #cat comic #webcomic

[heres-to-all-that-is-mine]

Unfinished stuff part two! Written Before The Third Game Came Out And Abandoned By Now Edition. This one’s called “Work benefits”. I believe it was about Zor offering Phoenix a job, citing the terrible Agency work conditions and the benefits of a job with Zoraxis, and Phoenix actually considering it but ultimately deciding against it?

They skid around the corner in a panic, bullets whizzing past and pinging against the floor, but they don't falter for a moment. If they did, they'd be dead.

Their Handler's voice, usually ever present, ever droning, has been reduced to a staticky crackling in their ear through the work of some kind of jammer, maybe, they're not entirely sure, but it means they're on their own and that's... not new, not foreign, but disconcerting. They'd gotten used to having him there, talking, though they didn't always listen.

It leaves them feeling more jittery than usual, though adrenaline has drowned out most of their worries.

The situation- they're running through an unfamiliar building, pursued by Zoraxis agents who would like nothing more than to put them six feet under (or quite possibly more, if they can get away with it) after stealing some very valuable files. Blueprints, maybe, the details escape them but they're important, and they have them- …the situation is not ideal. What's also not ideal is the stinging, burning sensation building in their shoulder where a bullet must have grazed them. They shift the files to the other arm, hoping they didn't manage to get blood on it, and glance around quickly.

The goons are only seconds away, and they can't keep running for much longer, so they need- aha! A door, left slightly ajar, the room behind it pitch black. They really hope it's empty because the agents are catching up and they've just lost whatever advantage they had by hesitating- and what the hell, they might die either way, so they throw themself into the darkened room and close the door carefully in one jerky movement, hearing the footsteps race past.

For what seems like an eternity, they sit hunched against the door, holding their breath and hearing their blood rushing in their ears.

...Nothing. They're safe- for now.

Slowly they begin to take stock of their surroundings, eyes adjusting to the dark. They quickly locate a string connected to a light, and give it a tug with their telekinesis, unwilling to stand up just yet.

It's a small room, the walls lined with shelves of old equipment and a couple of cleaning supplies here and there- most things are covered in a fine coat of dust. Ironic, perhaps, for a broom closet to be so dusty. It looks like some strange hybrid of an equipment storage room and a broom closet.

It doesn't look to be regularly used. Good.

Having given everything a quick once over, they turn their attention back to themself, checking on the wound that had begun to ache properly by now. It doesn't look too deep, but it's still sluggishly bleeding and patches of black are spreading through the dark fabric of the uniform they'd snagged, rendering the disguise mostly useless. With a strained grimace they look around the room again, and find a spare uniform hung on a hook at the far end of the room, setting about tearing strips of fabric from their current uniform to use as impromptu bandages.

Focused on the task as they were, they didn't notice one of the dusty monitors star flickering with static until a strange, warbling voice crackled to life.

"Hello, Agent," the voice says conversationally, and they jerk back in surprise, the back of their head hitting the door hard enough for them to wince in pain.

This... is not their Handler, nor is it anybody who's voice they recognise- it sounds distorted, masculine and feminine voices seeming to overlap, shifting from a low to a high pitch rapidly, and yet it has a tone reminiscent of someone calm and collected, someone in control.

...They have a sinking feeling that they do, in fact, know who this is.

"I've been watching you for some time," the voice continues, and they wonder why this person would possibly do such a thing if they are indeed who the agent thinks they are. "Your track record is most intriguing. I understand you're the agent behind foiling a number of our "schemes"."

To sum their current situation up in one word, it was 'bad'.

[Yes, well...]

They sign, grimacing at the ache in their shoulder.

"It's your job, yes," the voice finishes their sentence for them, tone something reminiscent of friendly, with none of the warmth associated with such a tone. "I know. I know quite a lot about you, Agent."

The room suddenly seems more claustrophobic than before, they think, as they finish tying the makeshift bandage.

"...and I expect you know some about me, as well."

[You're not just a Z agent.]

A burst of static- laughter, maybe, or a scoff- makes them twitch, increasingly unnerved. This conversation is telling them nothing, not why they're having a conversation like this, nor how this person knew they'd be here.

"I am not, no. You may know me as Dr. Zor."

Shit.

Well, they're officially screwed! Or, well, they're not really sure. Why on Earth would the head of the Zoraxis organisation want to speak with them- or, more pressingly, why are they still alive and unrestrained for this conversation?

#purples art! #mine! #fanfic! #ieytd #agent phoenix #dr Zor

[wolfsbane-if]

Discussing some Thoughts regarding Wolfsbane and the future of the game below

So, as many of you know, Chapter Four's reception was somewhat mixed.

While no one is wrong for having a negative reaction to the chapter and sharing their feedback regarding it, it was also very much not an enjoyable experience for me and not one I care to repeat going forward. I write for fun, and fielding the update's reception was anything but: it made engaging with my own work afterwards very difficult, and there were many times where I wondered if I had messed up, if I wasn't cut out to write a more serious story and if I should abandon the project altogether. I'd only ever intended to write and share the prologue initially anyway, so it was already a far greater accomplishment than I'd ever anticipated I would achieve.

But I still love this story, and I don't think I want to abandon it. I do think I need to change how I do things to make the experience more manageable for myself, though. For a while I brainstormed a few different options, and ultimately settled on this: I think it would be best to no longer update Wolfsbane on a chapter-by-chapter basis. While the fact that the ending of Chapter Four left a lot up in the air was probably exciting for some, I also think that sense of displacement and not knowing what to expect prompted others to assume the worst and react in unfavourable ways.

I'd like for my work to speak for itself, and so I think I would benefit from sharing my writing publicly when it's at points where there are fewer loose ends to address. While there will definitely still be people who simply don't like the direction the writing takes - and that's totally fine - I hope that having some closure at the end of a given update will help to mitigate some of the potential stress that comes from reading an unfinished story and being left hanging, especially after more dramatic events. I don't know for sure that it will help anything, but I figure it's worth a shot.

With all that being said, don't expect the next update anytime soon. Between working on other projects and not really wanting to look at Wolfsbane for the last little while, it's seen very little progress, and I don't know when the next public update will be in a shareable state with this new policy in place. Thank you all very much for understanding.

-

Additionally, there's the matter of Garamond and romance in the game. I'm still getting messages complaining about the situation and, honestly, I'm just so exhausted and worn down by the whole topic at this point. I like romance in IFs a lot, but from day one I've kind of gotten this impression that it's the only thing a lot of people care about, or that a relationship without romance is viewed as lesser or not worth someone's time. One of the first asks I received was wondering "who are the romance options", rather than if there were any, and I've gotten several more like it since. That romance is treated as a given in the larger IF community - and often the focus, from what I've seen, even in non-romance games - saddens and frustrates me, as I believe there's so much value to be had in strong friendships that's often overlooked by adult-oriented media.

I've said from the start that romance isn't the focus of Wolfsbane, that I cherish the found family the characters have formed and want to highlight that before anything else, and at this point I feel that including what aspects of romance I have within Wolfsbane may have been to its detriment. Perhaps it's my fault for communicating it poorly, but to say from the start that romance isn't the focus and to receive a vast number of messages asking about it anyway has always felt... disheartening.

I do still believe that exploring the various kinds of love that people can experience - and the complications that arise from two individuals having very different desires/expectations in a relationship - can be very interesting and worth writing about in interactive fiction. It's a very real, very human experience, and was something I was eager to juxtapose against the idea of "monsters". But I also feel the need to reevaluate whether or not it ultimately has a place in this story, if its inclusion detracts from the overall message, or if I should change how it's approached.

These thoughts are very much incomplete and I don't know yet what, if anything, I'll alter or remove regarding romance in Wolfsbane, or how the trajectory of the story going forward might change. For now, just ignore what I said about a childhood friends Garamond having had feelings for the MC growing up; I don't know if it's an element worth keeping.

-

And I think that's everything; thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and to those of you who continue to enjoy my writing <3

#leftski talks #I never want writing to become a chore or something I dread y'know? #so I'm trying to be conscious of ways I can make the experience better for myself #at the end of the day it's just a hobby

[doubleddenden]

I got to play Indigo Disk a bit after some trials and tribulations.

MY opinions after a few hours: enjoying it but frustrating that things are still not fixed.

The good:

Environments look pretty great, especially indoor ones. Outside environments dip in quality but look much better than Paldea or Kitakami

Music is fun in all sorts of ways I can't spoil. We lost some dynamic music, but the substitute is worth it

The characters so far are a hoot and have some hilarious dialog and banter. I love how much of a piece of shit Drayton is, and new Kieran, imo, is way more entertaining than old uwu shy bean Kieran. He's ironically hilarious trying to act all badass while being like... 12 lol. I'm happy to see Carmine again too, she's toned down and a little more friendly but her fun bitchy side comes out sometimes and makes me smile.

The mid:

The difficulty is very refreshing. I was thinking that the pokeinfluencers were being led on because they were given awful teams, but the struggle is real. I fought 2 trainers with life orbs, a double intimidate strategy, helping hands, it's actually refreshingly difficult and kind of giving me Colosseum vibes.

Synchronization is also fun! I tested it out with my shiny Hisuian Samurott, and it's super neat. It's like a step beyond Let's Go mode imo, and it's fine until you have to stop because you- despite having a move with a type advantage- get folded after getting hit once by a Pokémon with a technical type advantage. But I did notice that Samurott swims really well, too, so its not just flying, and there seems to be no limit to how far you can go within the terrarium- although you can't go beyond it apparently to use it.

Maybe it's just me, but something about the new uniforms just aren't clicking. We get about 6 uniforms early on, which is refreshing, but for some reason it doesn't look as good in practice as it did in promotion. I can't really find anything I'm 100% happy with for my character despite knowing some of these designs have lots of merit.

Idk, I'm really missing being able to match tops and bottoms like the old days. Like if you gave me the track top with the winter pants, I'd be pretty stoked. Or maybe give me something actually like Drayden or Kieran's jackets. Idk man. It's not bad, I'll say that, but I'm not satisfied.

The bad:

Performance remains unchanged. I'm not joking when I say Game Freak really needs to give back that award for "excellence" they got a while back until they finish the damn game and stop publishing unfinished crap for full price and beyond, because this is beyond unacceptable, NOT excellent, and at this point and I'm tired of nothing being done about it. It is so immersion breaking when environments flicker and pop in and out during dialog and exploration, and the slow downs... ugh. Not to mention I had a game breaking glitch where I exited a store and couldn't move or open menus or anything- my first time encountering this particular glitch as far as I can recall, and I lost progress. Like come tf on Game Freak. You've had OVER A FUCKING GOD DAMN YEAR after launch to fix things. They really must have abandoned ship at this point, and honestly they should be ashamed that it's not optimized for the ONLY system the game and dlc are available for at the moment after all of this time.

World's Richest Franchise, TM

Minor nitpicks are the new hair and accessories which... suck ngl. Aside from an Electabuzz family themed backpack, nothing new here really sparks joy, especially the hair styles, which look boring, bland, bad, or not enough.

Overall:

I'm enjoying what I can, but the bad stuff still docks points, so 6/10 so far, which is just barely passing. May go higher, may go lower as I progress further.

You may think I'm harsh, but honestly it's deserved for a product that was paid for. You can enjoy a bad game, but the game seriously needs optimization on the fucking double.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #doubled plays games #den reviews stuff

[argisthebulwark]

WIP Whenever feat. Arnbjorn & Vyrth

thank you my beloved @elfinismsarts for tagging me<3 <3 Here's a little snippet of what I've been working on in the background. It's unfinished and hasn't been edited quite yet, still very much a WIP :) Tagging some friends: @debaited @pav0-ocellus if u guys wanna share some bits of ur beautiful writing <3

Arnbjorn hated it when she looked at him like that. He hated her big eyes that bore straight into his soul and the annoyed wrinkle in her nose. Most of all he hated the smirk she always got when she caught him looking.  He swore that he detested the Listener. Arnbjorn tried to keep his distance from her but the Sanctuary was only so big. It was nice when she took contracts - he could breathe a little easier, only had one clown to worry about. Sometimes Cicero tagged along on her missions and Arnbjorn got a few days of peace and quiet. He could go about his work mending everyone’s weapons without her shrill voice intruding on his solitude.  Being around her raised too many questions. He’d decided long ago that it was easier to not think about them. Arnbjorn was comfortable in his life - wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Sleeping was the only time his mind tended to wander but he’d learned how to avoid thinking about the things that haunted him.  Despite his insistence, Arnbjorn couldn’t help but worry when she was gone for too long. The others didn’t seem too worried about her - ‘she’s fine. She’ll be back soon. She probably had other errands to take care of.’ If they weren’t concerned, why was he? Why did it worry him when the Listener didn’t return? Why did he want to see her? She always came back, of course. He had no clue how she was so effective as an assassin when she loudly announced her presence the moment she bounced through the door. She was always noisy - giggles echoing through the Sanctuary and regaling the new recruits with every gory detail of her contract. Arnbjorn kicked himself for lingering in the main hall for longer than necessary, nursing whatever meal he’d been eating just to hear her story.  He noticed that she never talked about why it took so long. She’d laugh it off or tell some joke - ‘I considered abandoning you lot but decided against it.’ ‘Had to restock on candles since assassins live underground these days.’ For some unknown reason he yearned to know where she went.  “Looks like it’s just the two of us.” The Listener sighed and Arnbjorn snapped out of his thoughts. He’d been so lost in his own head he hadn’t realized all the other members leaving, there was no one to buffer for him. No one to draw her attention away.  She dangled her glass between lazy fingers, a flush in her cheeks from the wine. Arnbjorn ignored her pointed look at his own unfinished food or the knowing smile on her face. It was too easy for her to get under his skin. She could do it with a single look. No one had ever bothered him so much before.  “You were gone a while.” Arnbjorn commented and willed her to look away. He noticed the dark bags under her eyes and fresh bandages lining her arm. She was exhausted. “You worried?” “Just making conversation.” “Maybe I have a secret life.” Her grin was predatory. Arnbjorn wanted to look away but refused to be the first to break eye contact. “I could have a whole family I never told anyone about.” “Sure, sure.” Arnbjorn began gathering his dishes, intent on leaving the room. He couldn’t talk to her this much, couldn’t stand being alone with her. “I could have a husband, maybe a couple kids.” That stopped him in his tracks.  What the fuck was happening to him? His heart was railing against his ribs so hard it hurt. Why was he angry? The thought of her having a family shouldn’t make him upset but gods help him, it did. Rage sent his blood boiling in his veins, face undeniably hot. It was exactly what she wanted.  “Would that bother you?” The Listener's head cocked, white hair spilling over her shoulder. Her eyes were locked on him. Arnbjorn cleared his throat and turned away, hoping it looked casual. “That’s your business.”

#skyrim #arnbjorn #writing #wip #thank u my friend!!! i appreciate the tag it made me use my brain #vyrth

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Kanye West - Yeezus

I'm not here to review Kanye West's recent antics. If you want my opinions on him as a person then watch these videos by F.D Signifier they cover the situation extremely well.

https://youtu.be/wvgehVhF9D4

https://youtu.be/e7e5BFJa-Ug

Here we have the last good Kanye West album. It's not as good or as revolutionary as any of his previous, but it still shows why Ye was one of the absolute best in the business. The beats are very intense and the 8nduatrial.influence is obvious. Sample choices are fewer and farther between than the usual Ye record, but they are placed with precision. The sample of Nina Simone's version of Strange Fruit on Blood On The Leaves is chilling. Lyrically however it's clear the Ye is starting to fall off. For every prescient lyric about oppression there will be some bootstrappy bullshit accusing black people of having bad fashion sense (we get it no one wanted to buy your shoes and you're mad). Or worse lyrics that are just stupid, "I keep it 300 like the Romans" and "eatin' asian pussy all I need was sweet and sour sauce" are terribly embarrassing lines and you'll find something like them on about two thirds of the album. Still, if you go in with a solid understanding of where Ye was at this point in his career it's pretty easy to overlook the weaknesses and enjoy the stark intensity of Yeezus.

Randy Newman - Sail Away

Before he was known for Pixar films Randy Newman was known for biting left wing political satire. I know Tumblr is not known for appreciating or even remotely understanding satire, but imma give you all the benefit of the doubt. The album starts right off with the title track, which is sung as a sales pitch for the trans Atlantic slave trade, promising that "you'll sing about Jesus and drink wine all day" and ominously that "you're all gonna be an American". So that's how satire works, he says one thing but you are supposed to peek behind the words and see what kind of person he is describing that would frame the slave trade that way. Get it? Between songs praising the Cuyahoga river for repeatedly catching fire and claiming that, since everyone hates America anyway, there's no harm in nuking the rest of the world Newman does find time for sincerity. Old Man is a dead sincere ode to the passing of his father and Last Night I Had A Dream seems to be unirinically about the fear of being known by others. Newman's lyricism goes between being stark and funny and it highlights the fine line between comedy and tragedy.

Minutemen - Double Nickels On The Dime

One of the crown achievement in punk rock. This album is long and ambling with 40+ tracks that are usually just under two minutes. The album is actively hostile to the idea of taking this shit seriously. Nothing was left on the cutting room floor, every sketch of a song is recorded and included no matter how unfinished it seems and each side of the album starts with one of the band members revving their car engines. Some of it is distinctly punk like Political Song For Michael Jackson To Sing, but then it's followed by a funk track that devolves into spoken word bits. The song Corona is just country. The album achieves coherence by trying to run as far away from it as possible. Of particular note is Mike Watt's bass playing which is often front and center and provides a very bubbly atmosphere to the album. Plus he is just a very good bassist.

The Beatles - Help!

The fab fucks are back! This time with an album that's actually kinda good. Help! is kind of a transitional record having mostly abandoned the rock n roll cover song laden early era, but not having fully embraced the somewhat more sophisticated writing style of the middle records. It's still very much crisp, simple guitar chords backing tight vocal harmonies as the song about girls and not much else. Sure the big hits Help!, Ticket To Ride, and Yesterday are great, but my faves are definitely Act Naturally and I've Just Seen A Face.

Pavement - Wowee Zowee

I'm calling bullshit because Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain was already in this list so you can't include any further Pavement records because that's the best one. Wowee Zowee is also probably their weakest imo, not that it's bad but it's a 9 in a sea of 10s. Pavement lost their edge a bit on this one, it's still a collection of great songs but well Range Life is one of my favorite Pavement songs. That doesn't mean I want an entire album of Range Life.

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

Pink Floyd is a band that was no stranger to personnel changes. Syd Barrett was the original frontman of the group and left in 68 due to mental health issues. Wish You Were Here is the band's ode to their lost member. David Gilmour's sweeping guitar work perfectly encapsulates the feeling of loss and alienation. It's dreamlike, as if it were a memory barely recollected. That guitar is what carries most of the album, the title track and all nine parts of Shine On You Crazy Diamond live in the spaces between Gilmour's note and Waters' lyrics which come together to eulogize their friend who is still alive but unrecognizable in his deteriorated state. It's weird and tragic, but I think it's beautiful that they made this whole album dedicated to just hoping that Syd could get some help.

#kanye west #randy newman #minutemen #the beatles #pavement #pink floyd #500 album gauntlet

[fuzzydreamin]

What's Wrong With The Companions

Made a list, somewhat in order of who I think got shafted the hardest by Bethesda's poor writing / releasing an unfinished game. Also a very very brief view at what I think is wrong and could be fixed about them.

Overall: Let these people talk to each other. Damn. They only ever talk during companion swaps or the rare quest script. Half of these guys end up living in the same place (Sanctuary / Red Rocket / wherever you leave them) because they have nowhere else to go once you pick them up, have that do something.

Take a page out of Dragon Age's book and let us travel with multiple companions at a time. Worried about difficulty for people who don't want to travel in groups? Scale it.

Piper Wright: Just... everything. She's a horrible journalist and she's a bad sister for some reason? Why is her quest (it's really just a conversation) about whether she should abandon her young sister? Why does her sister sleep on the floor while she has a big bed?

Her romance is weird to me because it's clear she's meant to be the basic choice for Bethesda's target audience and it affects her character negatively. Not saying she shouldn't be romancable, just... fix the weirdness. She's treated like a young replacement wife and new mummy to synth Shaun.

Curie: Remove romance option. Have her transition into being a synth mean more than... that...

It should have been tied in to the main quest. It should have sparked a compelling narrative bit about memory and originality of self, à la 'Soma' and 'Wolfenstein: The New Order'. Could have tied in to Nick and why he would never choose to do the same.

X6-88: Let him be able to actually turn his back on the Institute. I don't think he could go so far as joining the Railroad, or even actively joining the big fight against the Institute, but let him recognize his situation for what is it, cut himself off from it, and begin healing. Similar to Danse getting out of the Brotherhood, but not necessarily needing his life at stake to do so.

Danse: Give him the other half of his character arc. Change his bigotted dialogue more and more over time.

Preston Garvey: Have him introduce you to helping settlements and leave it at that. Maybe an option to ask him if a settlement needs help, but no more unprompted radiant quests. Give him a personal quest to retake Quincy after you've got the Castle and built up the Minutemen.

Minutemen faction needs a whole section for it's own fixes but otherwise Preston himself is fine, it's just the radiant quest thing that needs fixing.

Cait: Make her take time on her recovery, you can still use the magic detox chair but she's still gonna struggle with the mental side of addiction. More conversations about how her abusive past effects her, get this girl some therapy.

Strong: Free my man, and by that I mean free all super mutants from Bethesda's grubby hands. You can have a roid rager companion and still let them have a unique and compelling story of their own. Strong could have been so much. There's so many directions they could have gone with him that I can't even begin to list them all, but instead they chose none.

RJ MacCready: Make his backstory make sense. This mans been up and down the eastcoast wasteland, back and forth and all over, and done so much but he's only 22. A lot of this could probably be fixed by Bethesda putting more thought into Lucy and who she actually was. It's like half the people working on him kept forgetting he's a cameo of a kid from 3 and not the 30 year old from the concept art.

Fix his likes and dislikes, some of those are weird af compared to his actual values. Have us at least hear about Duncan again, but also is it really so hard to create multiple children models for different ages? Just size them down.

Codsworth: Give him more substance than just being the PC's pre-war butler. Or yknow, have that mean something more. Just give him something more, he's so bland rn.

He could be an interesting look at how post-war robots have been able to take care of themselves and build new bits onto their pre-programmed personalities without human interference. Robotic self determination has been part of the Fallout world long before they brought synths into it, the fact that he can judge your actions and choose to leave your side as a companion is proof enough. Work with it.

John Hancock: Put more emphasis on the fact that going ghoul and becoming mayor didn't really change anything for how he acts and views himself. Show him struggling with these more through more conversations with the character. Give him a quest. Have his brother being replaced by a synth mean something more than a single comment.

Nick Valentine: Nick's problems aren't really about Nick, but the things around him. Messy main quest, fix Kellogg and do something with that ghost-in-the-machine hook, make Eddie Winter be doing something. Jeez.

Old Longfellow: I'm sorry I haven't actually played with you old man. I guess that's his big issue: Don't let him be so harshly overshadowed by another characters story.

Dogmeat: Should have been able to have him alongside other companions like they originally intended. Otherwise general quality of life shit that really just goes for all companions: options to tell them how far behind to follow, better stealth, etc.

Porter Gage: Basically perfect. Fix Nuka World though, give us more options than single-route-evil or nothing. Let me take this feral dog home.

Ada: She's fine. Sassy baby. I love her. Just give her affinity and a perk so she can stand up with everyone else. Robot rights!

Deacon: Actually nothing wrong with him. His chaotic nature protected him from Bethesda's bullshittery. Railroad could use some work, but again, that's for a section on factions themselves.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #obvious disclaimer but these are just my thoughts and opinions on whats wrong and how to maybe fix them #no essays just the basics #fuzzy.post

[bemusedlybespectacled]

you have fanfic recommendation only Izzy/Stede?I think the countless fanfics where Ed becomes a maniac and basically lives torturing Izzy, and that is quickly forgiven because it's Izzy's fault what happened to Ed, or it's Stede's fault for abandoning Ed, but it's never Ed's fault, anyway these fics aren't making me like Ed very much at the momentewelinakl's fics where there are deep conversations before they jump into a trisal are an exception

I do, actually! And I agree: I dislike fics that let Ed off too easily after however many chapters of torture porn. I love ewelinkal's stuff because it makes Ed still a good person who is trying to atone for fucked-up things and not an irredeemable monster or a poor little cinnamon roll who's never done anything wrong.

I don't have very many recs, though, because most of the Stede/Izzy tag is just smut. Which is fine! But I like to rec fics that have a little more plot than that.

The Nook Is For Talking Shit by @nontimeretenebrous

I don't typically rec unfinished stuff but I really, really like this one. It's just so cute and in character, and it's also nonstop shitting on Calico Jack, which is great! I love it!

Storm Before The Calm by Elisahni

Pretty much the only complete Stede/Izzy fic that acknowledges Ed being kind of fucked up while also not making anyone OOC or cartoonishly evil. The complexity of the emotions in this fic are just [chef's kiss]. I am eagerly awaiting more in this series.

Hell Would Look Like This by cinnabongene

Also unfinished, and is eventually going to lead to Steddy Hands, apparently, but lord, the SLOWNESS OF THIS BURN. THE EMOTIONS. IT'S DELICIOUS.

Hope these help!

#personal #fanfic recs #our flag means death #stizzy #gentlehands

[steelthroat]

Looking back at big internet projects last updated 10 years ago is one of the worst pains ever, especially if you don't know why they're possibly abandoned.

Did the creator lose their passion? Did they start ten other projects and finished none of them? Are they even still alive? Have they been working for all this time but they don't show anything because they're afraid their thing won't be seen? Why didn't they just announce they abandoned the project to give us closure?

And this could sound all very selfish but wait, let me finish- It doesn't have to be all just sadness and sorrow

Seriously, I can't even remember what I ate yesterday, but I still remember and check all those projects no matter how much time passed. I genuinely still care about those projects even if I've grown out of whatever phase I was living at the time, not because of the thing itself, but because there was someone willing to do it.

I didn't care about x project because of x fandom, I wanted to see how it would turn out in the end. I wanted to see what a creative mind different from mine made of something I knew, I wanted to get to know someone's original characters and stories and compliment them no matter the quality of the final product.

But all there's left is the potential, the sadness over something that "could have been".

And it hurts even more when I think I could do the same. I know what it feels like to "consume" to be the recipient of something, but I also know what it feels like to be on the other side.

I know why someone would abandon something forever and disappear, I felt like doing it so many times, but I've never had the courage to actually do it. I also know what it feels like wanting to do something so badly but not having even the slightest strength to do it, no matter how much I still love the project.

The internet is full of these "potential projects that promised so much but never came to be. Getting closure is a rare treasure.

But that's fine, even if it's sad, even if I'll never get what I want, even if the creator will never find the strength, the passion, the time to finish "that project" I still care. I will be there if there will ever be an update oelr even just to feel the emotions I felt when I first stumbled upon "the project".

Maybe that unfinished project will inspire me or someone else, maybe someone else will pick it up. I don't care, I do, but that's not what matters to me. I will cherish creativity and art in the form they're presented to me, even when uncompleted or unborn.

I don't even really know where I'm going with this, but I doubt I'm the only one who feels this way... so yeah, if someone needed to hear this: it is what it is, sometimes we don't get closure and projects don't get finished, there's some beauty in it, because it exists or it had the potential to exist... or something like that.

#steel rambles #rambles #discourse? #idk just a thought

[soartfullydone]

I finished my first bg3 playthrough and just need to ramble about act 3 things specifically (spoiler-heavy, don't read this)

There's so much about this game that's great. But so much of act 3 made me go from :D to :/ like people were not kidding about how unpolished it feels. There's some positive thoughts here, but there's also a LOT of critique sooo don't read this probably fr fr.

The amount of bugs are egregious in act 3. I normally have a high threshold for bugs in games. They happen. So long as I don't lose gameplay hours over them, I'm pretty fine. But omg, I finally found my threshold. Just so much that distracted and detracted from cutscenes, from character moments, from the immersion of it all. It's hard to praise Larian for showing up the AAA studios when they turn around and actually do much the same as them: rush an unfinished product to launch. BG3 should've been worked on another year at least so the poor devs wouldn't have to go through the crunch time they are as I type this.

Acts 1 and 2 feel very tight and cohesive, act 1 especially (and I swear, act 2 was the shortest, easy, and yes, I did everything), but in act 3, you start to see so many holes, so many quest lines abandoned, rewritten, and unfinished. Quick question: why was Cazador's palace attached to a random guard wall in the Lower City when he's as upper echelon as they come? Oh, because we cut all of the Upper City from the game but still needed to resolve Astarion's storyline? Got it. What was the point of me tracking down the bomb factory in the fireworks shop if there are no repercussions for either destroying it or leaving it alone? Oh, just a reason to connect Rivington to Baldur's Gate, same as the Dribbles quest? Cool.

Speaking of Dribbles, I almost couldn't even finish the damn quest because I stole the clown's hand from the kobald and the game didn't acknowledge it because a cutscene didn't trigger. I had to do the most roundabout series of tests and finally figured out I had to put the hand in a pouch marked as wares, sell the wares to the kobald, steal the pouch back, drop the hand in front of him, and ensure he caught me stealing it.

That being said, there is nothing about the Circus segment itself I would change. Pure confetti all the way down. Enjoyed being turned into a stinky wheel of cheese.

I love love love the Auntie Ethel quest line. The only thing I could've asked for in relation to it is even more fae shit.

On that note, loved Valeria. Loved how Normal a miniature flying elephant detective was.

The Emperor's sex scene? Delightful. So glad I got to experience that through a friend. Can't wait to be a freak like that someday.

The House of Hope was Hot AF. I died at the Haarlep part; it was everything I wanted: a Raphael """romance""", a terrible deal, exhibitionism, companion-wide disapproval, body and mind violation. Honestly, Larian DOES get full points for that. (Now, make it a true possibility with Raphael, cowards. Let me ride that pillow princess.) Can't WAIT to fully go through with this deal someday with a different character because Riven wasn't the one.

The Raphael fight was honestly incredibly fun (the soundtrack lol A+++) and I didn't find it that challenging in Balanced mode. Like, I thought it was going to wreck my shit, but it was easily one of my most favorite parts of the game. Getting to the room to go through with it, however, was a trial and a half.

Act 3 also had two, if not three, of my least favorite quests of the whole game, tbh. And when I say least favorite, I mean they were just plain not fun to play. At all. Top of mind is the Free the Artist quest with the haunted house, which should've been fun but was just an incredible pain in the ass the whole time, and the Iron Throne quest, which I had to do no less than 8 times to get the exact results I wanted because bugs would thwart me at every turn. NPCs not dashing because their pathways were somehow blocked. Characters getting stuck up the ladder, not allowing anyone else to climb it. Having a character physically move to pull a switch to lock a door behind them only to get them permanently stuck on the wrong side of the door. Did I mention this quest was also a timed trial? lol lol

Kept expecting for my betrayal of the Zhentarim in act 1 to have Repercussions when I reached the city, their stomping ground, in act 3. lol lol

With the flood of companion interactions and cutscenes I got in act 1, it's a shame how much those dried up in act 2 and were practically non-existent in act 3. Their personal quest lines are all you have, and once they're over, you'll maybe get one final cutscene and maybe a romantic one and that's it.

Karlach barely feels like she had a real arc. You do a few things to keep her infernal engine from exploding, but then there's nothing more you can do and she resigns herself to death, refusing to go to Avernus. She and Dammon stop interacting, and the game gives you no other avenues to explore besides a confrontation with Gortash that went about as well as I expected. Just dissatisfaction after dissatisfaction with her. Which is a shame because her VA killed it the entire time! The best I could do for her was take her to the House of Hope for a few hours of relief, but not even an archdevil's home has anything more to offer her.

And it's wild because her death scene was super emotional and touching. I was ready to burst into tears until Wyll ran up and begged her to come to Avernus with him, to live. Then, I wanted to cry for another reason! (My Wyll lost his warlock powers but saved his father and became the Blade of Avernus.) This made so much sense to me as an option for Karlach a long time ago, that I was both relieved and frustrated that this was The Solution the whole time.

I gave Karlach the option to choose what she wanted, and she chose to go with him. What has all this been for, then? So much of Karlach's narrative and the tragedy of it hangs on her absolute refusal to return to the place that tortured her so badly just to live—but that turns out to be only solution this whole time? Why couldn't we just go to Avernus and find something that actually helps her then?

Karlach and Wyll got short-changed in many respects to their arcs, which is wild considering all the touchpoints they have with each other. I'm still frustrated that I, not Wyll, had to choose between severing the pact and saving his father. Even though I achieved both, Wyll should've been given the option to make that decision based on how you interacted with him throughout the game, same as every other character gets to make. At least he gets to choose between becoming a city official and the Blade of Avernus. But it's wild that we have two characters here who were used and enslaved by devils, and that's either not really addressed or resolved (Karlach) or it's only passively handled (Wyll).

And god, I loved the final scene with Wyll and Karlach in Avernus! How Karlach accepted that she would live, how she appreciated both the horror and the opportunity that Avernus presented, and how she wasn't alone anymore. I loved how confident she gets, assuming the role of the experienced expert/hunter in this place. And then Wyll. Who has also hunted and explored Avernus before. Doesn't even get to speak. Just smiles encouragingly the whole time, silent. This scene is so clearly written for Karlach with a Tav, and it's. Frustrating. Wyll and Karlach should be straight-up talking shop together right now. If this is the resolution of both of their arcs together, then it should be written for both of them together.

I'm a Wyll fan who loves the character he is, but I also resonate with folks who are frustrated losing the EA Wyll I never got to meet. I love what I've seen of his romance arc; it's his character arc that has me scratching my head at times, just because I see where they could've done a lot more with more time. The Ansur quest was... interesting but feels very tacked on at the last minute, and the twist that occurs from it isn't even about Wyll. And it matters for all of two seconds and then is never brought up again except to remind you to never speak of it lol what?? At least the lesson Wyll learns is one I knew all along, which is he's the hero Baldur's Gate needs and deserves.

And Gale! I'm honestly not even counting his arc as resolved. That was a joke. The crown falls into the lake?? And based on how you talked to him, he decides whether he's going to fish it out or not??? And I don't even get to see it??? For me, Gale decided to leave it alone, not giving it to Mystra or using it to become a god, which is. Wild. Considering my Tav, Riven, was very much Team "Fuck Mystra" and didn't discourage him from the god path. I was expecting a whole moment like what Astarion got between completing the ritual or not, but nope! You've gotta be joking.

I think the only arcs I'm satisfied with are Lae'zel's and Shadowheart's, even though I still don't know how and why the latter dyed her hair white lol. (I mean, symbolically, I get it, but I'm half-convinced her hair's not even supposed to be white because her portrait never changed hair color and the other characters only commented on her bangs like is this a universal bug that everyone accepted and Larian doesn't want to own up to?)

I also wish that if Halsin, Jaheira, and Minsc are going to be companions that they would've given them proper arcs, too. Halsin especially since he comes along earlier. Jaheira gets more of a pass since she's older and a legacy character and I love her, but I could take or leave Minsc tbh. Haven't gotten Minthara yet, so opinion's still out on her.

I loved Jaheira's little adopted family. A shame I never saw them again or got anymore resolution! (More on resolution in general later)

I guess I'll talk about Astarion's arc. I loved so much of it, but I'll be honest; I was having the most fun with him in acts 1 and 2. The sex repulsion thing, while key to his arc, also seemed to dry up all the romantic chemistry he has between himself and your character. Part of that might be because his arc turns so hard into obsessing over the ritual. But part of it is a Huge Missed Opportunity between exploring the difference between Sex as a Means to an End and exploring with him what actual intimacy looks like. Sure, you get the hand-holding and the hug, once, which can easily turn into a Just Friends thing. But where was learning what easy sensuality and intimacy looks like with a partner who won't pressure you into making it about sex? The graveyard scene was great! Sure wish there was more where that came from!

Astarion's romantic arc became a lot more about what Astarion wanted versus what you both want, argue with the wall. Sure, he wants it to become something real and wants to take things slow, but at what point is a Tav who was used for protection through sex allowed to be sexually frustrated and not shamed for it? The only time that's even acknowledged is if Tav considers a poly relationship with Astarion and Halsin, and we're supposed to feel bad on Astarion's account and not Tav's. Well, I'm sorry, but for Riven, Astarion would've been her first sexual partner and relationship, and he knowingly turned that switch on to make her obsessed and pliant towards him. It's unrealistic to just. Expect her to not be sexually frustrated, to grin and bear it, just because he's finally acknowledging his own automony. Part of that autonomy means taking ownership for what he did as an exploitive sexual partner; I'm not saying he needs to get her off or anything, but this is where displaying actual intimacy could've helped while they were taking a break from sex. Instead, the game really does have Astarion cut her off cold turkey with no further romantic scenes outside of the odd line here and there while discussing the ritual, and p e r s o n a l l y, I take Great Issue with that as a woman with some fucking self-respect.

Considering how hard this romance goes on the front-end with sex, flirting, and banter, Astarion's romance arc feels very foreplay-heavy with a very dissatisfying finish, which I'm not impressed with, okay? (And yes, my last romantic scene with him was bugged all to hell, so I didn't get to experience it as a cutscene, just fragmented lines in a box of a room. In fact, a lot of his romance lines throughout act 3 would either get cut-off or there'd be other buggy things happening that detracted from the scene.) At least he stays an asshole and not this uwu baby that so much of the fandom wants to pretend he is lol

That said, and even though I haven't done it yet, I am so sure that it'll be Ascended Astarion >>>>>>>> Good End Astarion for me lol. Give me the dark, fucked-up ends forever, thanks.

I didn't even get one of the biggest payoffs from convincing Astarion not to Ascend. I had Shadowheart cast Daylight as an orb and not on an object, so when the other spawn got free, they took damage from the spell and ran away, disappearing forever. Cazador's staff was nowhere to be seen because it was tied to a cutscene with those spawn, so now??? The ~7,000 spawn trapped in those arcane cells are just going to be driven mad as they starve to death, which we know from Astarion being held in solitary for a year is going to take a very long time. Meaning the more humane thing to do would've been to just. Let Astarion go through with the ritual, damning himself to save them from a fate worse than death. Great storytelling, Larian, we didn't test that Daylight spell at all, did we? Good thing I made a save with Astarion post-Ascension, tbh.

(Which, the fact that you still have to convince Astarion not to go through with the ritual, despite your high approval, romance, and all the things he's seen getting there, fascinates me. So many other characters will do the right thing if you've planted the seeds and give them the chance to make the choice themselves, but Astarion is determined to see the ritual through by default unless you roll real good. It's Big Sexy of him.)

On the one hand, this game has SO many more companion cutscenes and reactions than past rpg games like this. But on the other, it doesn't balance them well throughout the game. It doesn't help that I played the version with approval thresholds being lower than they should've been. But it goes back to how much of act 1 was written, built out, and tested in EA, and how much the rest of the game was... not.

Also what was the point of Yenna besides being nice to an orphan kid? Why did she disappear from camp for days and days that was never acknowledged? How many more bugs with kids did I experience in this playthrough, the Mol quest also being fucked sideways?

Gortash was so hot and SO underused and for what??? Jason Isaacs, b r u h!!! Oh well, more reason to play Dark Urge at some point.

I also never got the option to Find Familiar my owlbear and he stopped moving in the camp in act 3, and I'm sad, okay? He does somehow become fully grown?? for the final battle and armored up, but you're joking if you think I'm risking my baby boy like that

That said, I did like how the final battle played out, how you could summon your allies to help fight. (Zevlor redeemed himself and survived, baby!) I liked the various stages of it. But omg... the audio problems. A whole area where background music didn't play for over 20 minutes. Where characters had dialogue but no audio track. The immersion was in tatters for me, and given all the character arc resolution problems I discussed above, yeah, no WONDER I'm fucking frustrated. All this build up, to just trip at the finish line?

It was also wild how. Abrupt. The ending is. A series of cutscenes with a few final choices here and there, with random companions interjecting their opinions/perspective, but. There's no goodbye tour. There's no talking to everyone for the last time before the FINAL scenes happen and the credits roll. No "what will you do now?" discussions besides Karlach and Wyll's abrupt leave (made even worse by Astarion's abrupt leave for Reasons). I've been traveling with most of these people since the first hour of the game, and I can't even say to them "goodbye and thank you"??? We've poked fun at Bioware throughout BG3's launch, but they beat you there, Larian. Muchly.

The ending cutscenes were also not edited together cohesively, which might be why the Astarion romance scene bugged out. It's possible it's out of order, but it either goes: Companions talking about celebrating, Astarion getting scalded by the sun and running away, Karlach's engine catching on fire, Wyll convincing her to save herself and the two running off, the narrator showing you the city and proclaiming you a hero, Astarion romance scene in a black box, Wyll and Karlach in Avernus, end credits. OR it goes: Companions talking about celebrating, Astarion being scalded and running off, Karlach's engine catching on fire, Wyll imploring her to live but you convince her to die, the narrator proclaiming you a hero, Astarion romance scene, credits. And that switch to the credits, both times, is a fast and hard switch.

Also okay FINE I'll be honest! How determined this game is to turn you illithid finally pissed me the fuck off! The whole game, I played a character who would Not Eat the Damn Tadpole for anything but who would still abuse her compulsion powers now and again. (Which, a shame that power went away in act 3, that was fun roleplaying.) The whole game, she decides and is given the option to decide that her own strength and those of her companions would be enough, and guess what? It's not lol. Someone still has to become illithid and eat Orpheus's brain. Picture it: I had Astarion, Gale, and Lae'zel with me, the latter two who still need their arcs completed, hence why they're here. And the choice I'm given is either: give the Emperor the stones and have him eat Orpheus' brain; turn myself into an illithid and eat Orpheus' brain, or free Orpheus and convince him to turn himself into an illithid (or have myself or a dying Karlach do it, and guess what? We'd still have to eat his brain). All but one of these choices will either have Lae'zel hate me forever or permanently end my Astarion romance. The only viable option, meanwhile, is depressingly anticlimactic and uninteresting. Yeah, I'll say it: BOOOOOOO!

I have so many characters I want to do different playthroughs with, but act 3 and its ending, man. The taste of it is not horrible but it's not great, either. Kinda torn between taking my time in the first two acts and giving the game a break, see if they fix the most annoying bug issues first. I don't hold out much hope that storytelling issues will be fixed, but god, I wish they would be. Gonna just hold it in and die until I can talk to any friend about it.

#mel's ramblings #bg3 spoilers

[dont-doubt-dopple]

Into the Portal - A Shrub Berry OneShot

Hello! This is my gift to @wynterstorm for the MCYT Valentines Exchange! I saw you liked Shrub and this kind spawned from trying to explore her specifically. Thank you to the beautiful people at @mcyt-valentines for organizing and putting this event together. And I hope everyone enjoys!

Word Count: 1020

~~~~~~~<•>~~~~~~~

Shrub Berry had a lot of thoughts as she looked to the portal.

A lot of the immediate ones revolved around the current situation. She wondered what would happen to the spirits of the forest she had summoned, wandering alone in the still unfinished tunnels of her mushroom growing operation. She wondered how hard it would be to traverse … the corrupted version of home. It wasn’t the Nether, despite what people called it. It was home, tainted by Xornoth and Exor. Her real home, real people, were out there somewhere. She knew it. She didn’t know how far, and that didn’t exactly make the journey across lava lakes and past bastions any easier with a pack of wolves in tow. She wondered what would happen if she ever could return; how much of the Undergrove would be ash.

That wasn’t the majority of her thoughts though. She was thinking a lot about her friends.

She was thinking of Katherine, Protector of the Overgrown. Shrub would miss the tea and gossip nights, miss the smell of flowers as she walked to her castle, miss the chance to ask about a wolf plushie that changed faces based on how she was feeling. She wondered if her kingdom was okay or if the plants Katherine loved so much were burning as well.

She was thinking about Scott, Ruler of Rivendell. She worried about him as he had grown increasingly cold the last few times they met up. Not in personality, he was still as kind and regal as ever, but temperature. The bluing tips of his fingers and hair didn’t escape her view. He would be fine in a fire but if the explosion brought anything else to Rivendell … She was very concerned at how well that crystal would hold.

She was thinking about fWhip, Count of the Grimlands. He was the catalyst; nothing was left based on what he told them. Everything he had built and created, all of Eastvale and the life people made for themselves there. It was gone. He had Gem sure, but it still hurt Shrub to think about. To lose everything and not be able to do anything about it … she was very aware of what that pain was like. She wishes she could have said more to him in the panic and chaos at Spawn. But they would forever remain unsaid.

She was thinking about Joey, Emperor of the Lost Empire. About how the explosion and aftershocks ripped through his kingdom. About how angry he was with what was going on. Part of her wanted to stay, to give him a small shoulder to lean on as they watched both their empires burn. But she had a responsibility to protect the wolves and Mother Wolf, especially. She couldn’t abandon and deal with Joey’s quest for vengeance in, as he called it, the End Times.

Shrub looked down at the wolves who looked up at their mother with expectant eyes. She smiled at them, giving each a quick head pat before turning back to the portal. The swirling purple seemed to taunt her. She had been in the Nether a thousand times and never did it give any hint that the barren nether wastes and slowing soul sand valleys were her long lost home. It was nothing like she had remembered and loved.

Shrub sometimes liked to close her eyes and imagine how her new and old lives would interact with each other. Scott and Joey racing through the tall mushroom towers, their wings glistening in the sunlight. Katherine, Pearl and Gem sitting with the Elders as they spoke about plants and the magic that surrounded their practices. She could see fWhip teaching redstone to the farmers, showing them how to make better tree and mushroom farms. Lizzie and Jimmy would be telling the kids about the history of the land of Empires, recounting tales of magic and corruption, enemies and lovers, long lost siblings and long forgotten stories. Pixlriffs would be with historians to learn and document the story of the gnomes so it would never be lost again. Joel and Sausage would be working with the architects swapping building ideas and inspiration. And Shrub would watch under the protective eyes of the Mother Wolf, breathing it all in as her homes morphed into one.

But that was the dream. Reality was that she had no idea what was going on with any of them. Fire still burned around her, creeping closer with every second she hesitated. She has a pack to protect, a Nether to cross, and a people to find. And she was determined to find them. And then she’d return to the Undergrove and show her people the place she built after telling them all about her adventures as a stranger in a strange land. How she helped to defeat the demon that corrupted their fertile lands in the first place. How the lost gnome traveled across dimensions to finally find her way home.

She double checked that she had everything she needed for the trip: her tools, arrows, shulker boxes with bridging material, food, a totem of undying, a lead just in case. She cut down some of the vines in front of the portal before mounting Mother Wolf.

“We have to leave. We have to let it go.” She told the other wolves, though she wasn’t sure how much they understood her. If she was being honest, it was mostly just affirmation for herself. One wolf was already through, disappearing in the purple light before her thoughts were fully out. “Alright everybody. I don’t know who that was but it looks like they’re ready to go.

“Goodbye, Undergrove.” She said, looking back on all that she’s created since coming here. All the memories and people she was leaving behind. She didn’t like goodbyes, but she knew it would be a while before she’d see her own mushroom castle and hobbit hole again. “Maybe one day we’ll be back. But we have some gnomes to find.”

One final breath, and Shrub Berry rode with Mother Wolf into the Unknown.

#shrub berry #empires shrub #empires shubble #empires season one #empires smp #empires smp fic #fanfic #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfiction #dopple work

[zizzani]

Hello!! Are you the one who made the fic w the MDZS ice skating AU where WY gets into a doping scandal over ADHD meds? I remember reading it a long time ago and thinking it was THE SHIT, but idk where it went!! It’s fine if it’s deleted or wtv- I’m just wondering c:”

I’m not intending this to come across as an ask for a chapter/update or anything, so I’m very sorry if I’ve agitated you in that way!!

Hi there!

No problem at all, no agitation here ^_^

I am the author of said fic, yes! I put it in a private collection on Ao3 because sadly I lost steam with the story and sort of fell out of love with MDZS because of the amount of drama happening in the fandom. I don't really like having a bunch of unfinished or abandoned works on my Ao3, so I made the fic private. It's still there, just inaccessible. However, if you'd like a pdf of what I wrote of it, I'd be happy to provide you with a dropbox link ^_^

I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much, and thanks for reaching out! <3

#reply #anon

[twotangledsisters]

So, I'm going through my folder of unpublished, unfinished, absolutely insane Tangled Fanfics. This folder is where insane ideas come to be insane together. Usually they don't go anywhere.

And I have this one, that is just kind of different, so here's what it basically is:

Rapunzel and Cassandra are raised as siblings in the tower, until at the age of 4 and 8 they are rescued by Corona guards. Frederic is there, and keeps Rapunzel but sends Cassandra away because Frederic doesn't stop to think how traumatizing separating the two young girls would be.

Rapunzel being pretty young manages to grow up more or less fine. But Cassandra is eight and has only ever spoken to two other humans in her life. So she does not do well.

After about six months, everybody has given up on Cassandra, she's just the little girl who sits in a corner, never talks and doesn't really have much hope for a future, but then Eugene and Lance arrive at the orphanage because they escaped their previous orphanage, stole some stuff from the marker, refuse to say they're real names and now they are here.

Eugene is telling all the kids the great adventure of Flynn Rider when he realizes there's one girl who isn't listening and he and Lance decide to take her under their wings.

They eventually get to hear the story of the tower and how the princess abandoned her to go live in the palace. (She doesn't really know who's to blame so she blames the only person she knows).

So Eugene and Lance are like, "oh, we'll get vengeance on the princess one day when we're all master criminals!"

So the three grow up to become master thieves and steal the princesse's crown from the palace. Fleeing Corona as they are now very much wanted dead there.

But Cassandra is still not content, she wants MORE VENGEANCE! Zhan Tiri seeing this girl with absolute hatred for the sundrop managed to push the trio towards the dark kingdom.

Eugene meets his dad, Lance is very much confused but supportive and Cassandra sees her chance at vengeance.

She takes the moonstone after an epic fight and she flees alongside Eugene and Lance. But Eugene and Lance eventually realize, "this is too evil for us, we just want to steal".

But Cassandra can't lose anymore family, and has too much power, so she's keeping Lance and Eugene prisoner, and they think she is seriously going insane because she's constantly talking to herself (Zhan Tiri).

Meanwhile, Rapunzel who's been informed of the evil moon powered woman who seems to have declared on Corona, thinks she's really familiar but doesn't quite remember yet.

But Frederic does, and he is hiding this from Rapunzel and Arianna as though his life depends on it.

And that's as far as I've made it.

I talk about how I have the memory of a NPC, and I have to wonder, what inspired this? Cause I wrote this but I can't remember why. It's clearly written in the "for my eyes" only style. It's got some cool moments though, like up until they steal the crown the three traumatised children finding each other as family is adorable, evil Cassandra is fun and Cassandra pretending like she's keeping Eugene and Lance with her for their protection while being manipulated by Zhan Tiri is funny and also sad.

Eugene: Cassandra, you need to stop this.

Cassandra: It's my turn to protect you. I have the powers to do so.

Eugene: This isn't protection, it's prison!

Lance: That's the place we run away from Cassandra, remember that?

Zhan Tiri: Just give them their meals so we can move on. We have much work to do. You want to destroy the princess, right?

Cassandra (staring into what looks like nothing to Eugene and Lance): Of course I want to destroy the princess, but my family comes first.

Lance: She's insane, we've lost her.

Eugene (in full denial): She's fine Lance. She's just confused.

#tts fanfiction #tts fanfic #tts fic #tts au #rta fanfic #rta fanfiction #rta fic #rta au

[cosmonott]

Work Log no.13

The semester's beginning to wrap up now, so I wanted to use this final worklog to overview the full project and reflect.

For starters, I did complete my goal of 6 animations! If we count the stuff that wasn't for this class or left unfinished, that tally goes up to around 12! (which makes me very happy). I even added some of the pieces I'm especially proud of for my portfolio!

(this is gona be the reflection part)

However, the project went by no means perfectly or smoothly, and while this was disappointing, I did learn about some of my working habits, and I'm excited to try different techniques for future projects.

My main method of spacing out my work for this project was using soft and flexible deadlines instead of intentionally rationing out my work. I divided each project into broad sections that allowed me to change the workload to fit my needs with other classes.

While this did help with my workload for the semester, I don't think this workflow was very productive for me when my goal was to make as many animations as i could. Once my motivation was spent, working on my thesis work became much harder, which eventually led to abandoning using Adobe Animate all together for the later sessions of the project.

I did initially dedicate time to studying in my project plan, but in practice I hardly had the motivation to do so. In the grand scheme of things it was fine, since this project was mostly about producing alot of work, but I still wanted to learn and apply new skills.

I found the time to just sit down and read my resources only once or twice, where I found a very helpful explanation of Animation workflow that I immediately implemented into projects that followed

After this I realized that studying was infact helpful!>!??!? Though i didnt find much more time to read after this point. Moving forward I want to really sit down with my materials and read, likely over the summer!!!

Worklogging became increasingly difficult throughout the semester :(. I feel like having an extra task to complete (setting up a workspace and starting a timer) before being able to start actually working made it feel like more work and made me want to do it less.. However, i see the value that making a worklog has!! and i want to keep trying!!!! dunno if i will continue to use tumblr tho haha :3

this longer writing format felt good for reflecting on progress, but also was easier to lose track of if I fell behind :( but discord was too quick and easy, and i would often forget to stop/start logging or even what I was working on!! Im hoping soon ill find a happy medium, but in terms of new time management strats moving forward im looking into using more analog methods like sticky notes instead of digital.

overall junior thesis was a great learning experience!! (even if i didnt do much studying >w>; )

thank you for reading! :^D

#my cool worklog #2d animation #adobe animate #THE END ;D

[midlevelmonstrosity]

the full, very unfinished, and VERY unedited draft of Clouds chapter 5

chapter title: Death No More

word count: 5020

reading over it now, the writing style is actually pretty good, but I heavily disagree with some of my choices in characterization, and also I like to think my sense of humor has improved a lot since 2021 (which was the last time I touched this draft)

warnings for pretty much all the usual things in BSD with the exception of graphic violence (didn't get around to writing anything actually violent because this was originally, you know. a crackfic). also this takes place during the Cannibalism Arc, so Spicy, if you somehow find this, maybe don't look. nothing happens to Kunikida in this chapter but there is a Kunikida pov in chapter 2 I think? don't remember honestly. also warning for mentions of disordered eating in Kenji's part

apologies again to the few Clouds fans out there for abandoning this

He drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair he was leaned back in. He could faintly hear the seconds ticking away in the corner of the room. Time was a strange concept, he thought. It was slow, and yet slipped by so quickly, and there was never quite enough of it. 

Red-orange imprints of light flashed across his eyelids. Each tick of the clock felt like a gunshot. 

"So," Ranpo said monotonously, face turned up to the ceiling. 

He was answered with near-silence. He could hear them breathing, of course. But existence wasn't a response, was it?

He sighed and opened his eyes, taking in the room around him. "We don't have enough chairs, do we?"

Beside him, Yosano shrugged with one shoulder, light reflecting off her blouse in a way that stabbed at his eyes. He closed them.

"They'll be here in a few minutes," he said, and returned to reclining, draping an arm across his face. 

Most of the time he was fine, really. He could go around and do things and not have to worry about how much of everything there was. And then there were times like this one, where everything became too much to even keep up the guise of the funny detective. Lights were too bright, colors too vivid, sounds too loud. One wrong move and he'd be stuck with a migraine for the next few hours, at least. Sensory hell, he called it. His very own hellscape, designed just for him! The universe knew him well, knew just what he liked and just what he didn't. There was a cruel sense of balance in that. 

Amid the quiet cacophony, he could just barely pick apart the sound of shuffling feet. "We need more chairs."

The distinct sound of chair legs sliding back. "I'll get them!"

Atsushi, always so eager to please. A multitude of thoughts slipped through his mind. No, not you. No, not now, this isn't the time. There are people in the hallway. Don't go out into the hallway. Not you. He didn't have the time to arrange them properly. "No hallway for you!" he found himself saying. Yelling, perhaps, he amended. Wow, his volume and tone modulation was really bad.

He heard a sound that, by now, he could identify as the kid pausing. "...what?"

The footsteps behind the wall grew louder, by way of the Doppler effect, or whatever. He wasn't a scientist. He didn't need to be. He prepared himself for the slam of the door, for the explosion of noise it would make as it hit the wall.

The slam never came.

Instead, the door quietly slid open. Slowly, one pair of footsteps made it into the room, followed by a raspy cough. "Oh." A pause, and then ominous whirring. "Jinko."

Ranpo adjusted himself in the chair. Where was popcorn when he needed it?

__________

He plunged his consciousness into the depths of his overcoat and wrenched control of it. In one fluid motion, he raised its tendrils and hurled the were-tiger into the wall.

The were-tiger managed to flip in midair and land adequately, skidding back until his heels met the wall, leaving long claw marks in the floor. "Akutagawa," he spat. "Still as violent as ever, huh?"

He strolled further into the room. "And you're exactly as pathetic as always, Jinko. What makes you think you have the right to speak?" Rashoumon twitched and writhed around him. 

The were-tiger let out a low growl. How fitting for an animal. "And what makes you think Dazai would appreciate you ruining a negotiation like this?"

His mind fell silent for a brief, eternal moment. A heaviness made itself present deep within him. He ignored it and straightened. Weak-heartedness had no place in someone like him. He hated to admit the were-tiger was right. 

A voice interrupted his thoughts, crashed through them and pierced into the deepest parts of his mind. "Can't believe you'd ruin my fun like this, Atsushi." Dazai. He forced himself to stay still and ignore the sudden nausea and lightheadedness arising in him. Rashoumon curled around him in a way that was almost protective. He let it. "But I guess you're right. No point in wrecking all chances of a truce." He could hear the smile in his voice. The were-tiger didn't look the least bit terrified. He almost wanted to shake him for his insolence, for his stupidity in not noticing the danger just across the room.

"Yes, of course," he found himself saying, mouth moving as if not even under his control. It felt as if a fog was slowly distancing him from himself.

He felt Dazai's cold gaze turn to him. He forced himself to suppress all traces of weakness, to stand as stoically as he could. Emotions were weak, and he could never allow himself to be weak again. "Where are the others?"

Others? What did he mean by that? The executives? Another group entirely? He allowed the fog inside him to consume him until he couldn't remember what it was like to be human. Much better, he thought. "The executives had to stay behind to deal with...a certain issue. They'll come once it's been dealt with." The Boss had been found, finally, lying in a dumpster in an alleyway not too far from the mafia's headquarters, bleeding out, delirious, and yelling incoherently at a stray cat at the end of the alleyway. Their time was running out, ticking away so, so quickly, and therefore anyone available was immediately dispatched to either help the Boss, investigate what happened, or, in his case, start dealing with the detectives while everyone else was indisposed. He was told he would be negotiating, but, like always, it wasn't true. He was needed to fight. Death was all he was good at, after all.

"And they sent you?" The words were more of a statement than a question.

"Yes." He made himself look at his former mentor.

Dazai hummed noncommittally. He felt as if he had already been dissected and laid out for inspection. "Interesting decision," he said, and Akutagawa could almost believe he hadn't planned the entire situation out. "Well, anyway, that's disappointing. I was hoping to torment Chuuya a little before we were completely out of time." The other detectives almost seemed to collectively wince at the reminder. "Could you do me a favor and remind him he's short every once in a while?" To say his grin was unsettling was an understatement.

Wouldn't that be insubordination? He shoved the thought away and said yes instead. Antagonizing Dazai was one of the worst mistakes a person could do in their lifetime. And he couldn't afford to make mistakes. He couldn't.

He was spared from his thoughts by a crash as Dazai was knocked face-first into the table. "TIME ISN'T LIKE YOUR BANDAGES, STOP WASTING IT!" He searched his mind for a name. Kunikida Doppo. That was who had dared attack Dazai. He stared in mute horror. He knew firsthand what it was like to suffer under Dazai, but it was four years since he was thrown aside and abandoned. What bloodbath would ensue now? Akutagawa could envision it perfectly, a wave of darkness rising in him and threatening to drown him. First he would deliver an incapacitating kick, then crush the fingers, then carve out lines of red in places no one would bother to look—

Dazai laughed. He blinked. Dazai...was laughing. He barely restrained himself from stumbling back. The blood drained out of every part of his body, and he felt an excruciating pressure start growing in his chest. He glanced around the room, at the detectives who looked exhausted and unconcerned with what was happening right next to them. The only times he had ever seen Dazai laugh was when he was about to deliver a punishment more cruel than any human being would be able to come up with. Was this the power of the Armed Detective Agency? Were they really so unbeatable so as to not show even a hint of fear in the face of the Demon Prodigy?

A strangled gasp escaped him and quickly turned into a cough that tore itself out of his lungs. "You okay over there?" the Agency doctor asked monotonously, suddenly looking at him. Her eyes almost seemed to pierce through him and see the useless mess he was, how his body malfunctioned and his very self was so intrinsically flawed that he could hardly be considered a person. 

He snapped up, wiping his mouth and pointedly ignoring the aching itch in his chest. He wasn't weak, he didn't need help, he didn't need anyone or anything, ever. "I'm fine," he spat, and struggled to suppress the next cough.

"Okay," she said, and turned away, clearly not believing him. "Whatever you say." He wanted to scratch that look off her face and beat her until she could see that he wasn't sickly and frail and weak. He may be completely useless, but he would never accept weakness. And, in that moment, he wanted to destroy everything around him until they understood that. 

He realized that Rashoumon was floating around him and forced it to stay down. 

Then he realized that Dazai was flying through the air and was unable to hold down the next round of coughs.

__________

He looked at the Boss's slumped figure in the car seat, still reeking a little of trash, rot, and the distinct smell of infection. They didn't have much time left. Ten hours, if he did the math right, which he did, of course. You can't exactly be a government experiment with the ability to manipulate gravity and not know at least something about how it worked.

He leaned back against the seat and turned his face up towards the ceiling. They had to make it. Had to. He didn't get this far in life just to lose to some greasy, edgelord-wannabe leader of a gang of emo war criminals lying semi-conscious, incapacitated, and restrained in the makeshift hospital of a group of pesky detectives. He laughed mirthlessly. The whole situation was almost funny. Here they were, on the verge of an all-out battle between at least three different organizations, with two important figures hours away from excruciating death due to a virus that ate them from inside, when the leader of the third group ended up being knocked out by a man-child with a can of beans because he decided he'd buy some dubiously fresh vegetables before plotting world domination in his gamer cave. No, it wasn't funny, it was absolutely hilarious, in the most tragic way possible. If this were a movie he'd be cackling with reckless abandon, but unfortunately it wasn't one, it was real, and he was stuck in the middle of it all with his Boss mumbling incoherently just to the left of him and almost everyone else in the Mafia scrambling to get to the Agency before Akutagawa either murdered someone or passed out and before Russian Ratatouille decided to make a break for it and start blowing up the world. He wasn't entirely convinced Dostoevsky was actually semi-conscious and not just pretending to be in order to attack in a moment of weakness, which made the time constraint even smaller, so much so that it felt like time itself was happily tying a noose around his neck.

Just thinking about nooses brought that bandage-waster to the forefront of his mind, which brought the whole incident at the office along with it. He pulled out his phone, already feeling the familiar wave of writhing, dark rage rising up deep within him to replace the annoying feeling of impending doom, and sent off a text he's been delaying for far too long.

why didn't you tell me that bandaged imbecile was out of the hospital? like we SPECIFICALLY AGREED UPON?

He felt the telltale signs of fury bubbling up towards the surface and shoved them back down with all his might. He set his phone down into his lap and closed his eyes, waiting for the onslaught of anger to calm before he ended up destroying everything in his vicinity. Though, Chuuya supposed it was better to have to deal with overpowering feelings of rage and traces of other emotions than be allowed to sit with his deep exhaustion in such a dire situation. After all, it was better to have the angry Mafia exec in a fight than a powerless, powerful barely-human who was so aware of how utterly estranged he was from the entirety of humanity that he wanted nothing more than to lie down and contemplate his own tragic existence. He'd rather be furious than empty. Not much could be done about the self-awareness, though. But it was fine. Chuuya would be fine.

Kouyou had told him, many times, that he used humor as a coping mechanism too much. She also told him that he broke too many phones, swore at his subordinates too much, and hid his problems behind a façade of a careless and hotheaded brute too much to not be concerning. He teetered on a narrow precipice between hating how well Kouyou saw through him and craving understanding and genuine connection with another person. Chuuya was a man of many faces, though, really, wasn't everyone?

"I'm gonna kill you, cat man," he heard Mori mutter quietly. He turned to face his Boss, who was staring blankly out the window. "Y'better watch out. 'Cause 'm gonna..." He turned away, not interested in hearing any more delirious ramblings. Here was yet another prime example of a man of many faces: a cruel military doctor, a calculating mafia boss with predatory tendencies, a regular man with questionable interests, a powerful man loyal to his cause, and a raving madman on the verge of death. What a deal.

His phone buzzed, and he found that he had received a reply.

thought it'd be funny lol

Soft-yet-jagged threads of a burning darkness shot through his entire body, raising his hairs with an unseen force and roiling deep inside somewhere adjacent to his chest, threatening to drown and blind him. He pressed his palms into his eyes hard enough to see stars and took a few deep breaths to salvage the torn pieces of himself from that dark and endless ocean. He could barely form a coherent thought. He grasped onto the first thing that floated up: the fact that he was in a car, then the subconscious realization that it would be highly inopportune to lose control here. As the seconds dragged on (time was running out, time was running out, time was running out), he gradually came back to himself with little reminders of who he was. He was Nakahara Chuuya, and he was who he made himself be. 

After a while, he opened his eyes and waited for his vision to stabilize and for the shifting colors to fade away. He picked up his phone again and willed the corruptive, corrosive flood back under the surface. He was going to stay diplomatic. He was.

  seriously.

The reply was nearly instantaneous. 

  yea lol

He typed a response. Deleted it. Typed another. Deleted it. Calmed himself down with thoughts of a cold metal rooftop under the setting sun. Typed a question.

  well did you at least publicly embarrass him like I asked?

  oh u have NO idea huh :D

  what's that supposed to mean.

A typing bubble appeared, then disappeared. He looked out the window to find that they were almost at the Detective Agency's office. He would've gotten there faster on his own, but he had to protect the Boss, who was, at the moment, incapacitated and vulnerable, hence the convoy.

After a few minutes, a response finally came.

  ill send u the sec camera recordings later

  they're WILD

He stared at his phone for a few seconds. He wasn't sure what to expect, but it seemed like his plan was proceeding well enough for the time being. 

  sounds intriguing.

He shut off his phone after sending the last message. They were around a minute away from their destination. He couldn't allow himself any more distractions from the severity of the situation. He brought up everything that has happened to the front of his mind and allowed himself to sink into it. 

It was time for the real fight to begin.

__________

Kenji was bored. He could sit still and do nothing for long periods of time, sure, but that didn't change the fact that he was just. So. Bored. Boredom was like an itch in his brain that he couldn't scratch no matter how much he tried, and it was almost agonizing.

He was tempted to start spinning on the stool again, but the last time he'd tried that—around thirty minutes ago—he'd ended up accidentally putting a dent in the corner of the cabinets with his foot, and had to drag the trash can over from the corner to cover it up. He'd tell Yosano-sensei about it later. 

His foot was bouncing again, he realized after noticing the rhythmic tapping noise coming from the floor. He told it to stop. As people in the village always told him, he had to stay still sometimes or else he'd scare away the animals. That, of course, never happened because all of the animals loved him, and he loved them back. 

Thinking about his love for animals only made him think about food, which in turn made him aware of how hungry he was. It was like a small burning pit in his stomach, twisting and turning like an unruly horse. He was used to it, though. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made to be strong.

He felt like he could eat a horse. Wait, no, that was bad. Horses weren't food.

Kenji sighed and spun around, slowly, to face what he was assigned here to watch: Fyodor Dostoevsky, a guy who seemed to be pretty mean by the looks of it, but also had a cool hat. Maybe if they were lucky he'd turn out to be like Nakahara-san, a little mean-looking and violent but ultimately kind and the coolest city person he'd ever seen. But, if the faces of the rest of the Agency were anything to go by, then he didn't think they would be that lucky. 

Dostoevsky wasn't really doing anything interesting, which was part of the reason why he was so bored. He mostly just slept, or half-slept, and on the rare occasion he opened his eyes they'd be dull and lifeless. "Rare occasion"...as if it hadn't only been two hours. Time was so different in the city. In his village, keeping track of time was much easier. Here, there was too much going on to really notice it passing, too much noise, too much action. It was fast and slow and here and then gone.

Kyouka-chan was here with him earlier, but she left without a word a while ago, and he decided not to pry. Prying was, as he had found out through experience, not very good.

Prying...he wondered what was in all of the cabinets Yosano-sensei had. He doubted there would be anything to eat. But he wouldn't look, because he shouldn't. 

Kenji sighed again and stood up. He ambled over to the curtain hanging from the ceiling, mostly held back by a strip of fabric of the same color so that observing the patient/prisoner would be easier. He looked up at the links it was hanging from. It was such a drab color, nothing at all like the countryside, with its vivid greens and yellows and blues, and the sounds of the animals and plants, and the smell of the food always on display in the market...

His stomach rumbled and sent tiny, sharp pangs through him. He didn't need the food yet, he had a job to do, and that was to stop Dostoevsky from escaping if anything happened. He couldn't eat when he was needed, he reminded himself. Food was a reward for a job well done.

The door quietly opened and closed. He recognized that faint, ghostlike presence and whirled around. "Kyouka-chan!"

Her hands were holding two crêpes, one in each hand. A growl started up in his stomach again. One of the crêpes had honey and lemon inside it, with a bit of powdered sugar on top of it all. To say his mouth wasn't watering would be a lie, and he hated lying. 

Kyouka briskly approached him, knife glinting at her waist. "Eat," she said, and handed him the honey and lemon one. His favorite. 

"I can't," he said, waving his hands in front of him. "I need to be strong for this. It's my job."

Kyouka shook her head. "No. You need to eat," she implored him. She had the blank face she usually had when thinking and the Port Mafia, and his stomach sunk as he realized how serious she was. Not that she wasn't usually serious, but now he knew that he wouldn't be getting out of it.

"But..." he began, "the job..."

"Kenji. I haven't seen you eat even once in the past few days. I know how unpleasant that is." His stomach sunk further. He couldn't just abandon the job, it would be dishonest and disloyal. "Kenji," she repeated, and stretched the crêpe out to him. "You need to eat." She paused and looked at a point near his eyes. After a long moment, she continued. "And sleep."

"I'm fine, though."

Her face took on a colder aspect. "I think you'd find you'd rather eat this crêpe than find out the other methods I know of putting people to sleep." That was her attempt at a joke, he could tell, but he could also tell how painful it was for her to make it.

Kenji sighed and took the crêpe from her. Kyouka-chan was more than capable of covering for his absence. He'd have to apologize profusely to Kunikida-san later.

"You need to sleep too," he found himself saying as he took a seat. 

"I'll be fine." She took a bite of her crêpe, and he did the same. She seemed to contemplate something. "You won't be, though. You might be strong, but you're still human." Something dark and bleak shone in her eyes as she said that, something wholly unfamiliar to the boy he was before coming to Yokohama but now something he'd been seeing more and more often.

He turned her words over in his mind, barely noticing how his leg started bouncing again as he savored the sour-sweet taste of the crêpe. 

Kenji supposed he had just learned a new lesson.

__________

Ranpo tugged at a stray thread as he carefully listened to the new fight begin. This fight was between Dazai and Kunikida, a regular occurrence in the office, so he wasn't particularly interested in seeing it play out. Two fights in the span of, what, fifteen minutes? Really, where was popcorn when he needed it? (In the safe under the main office room. In one of the drawers in the temporary kitchenette set up in a corner. Deep under the couch cushions.) And pain meds. But he'd bother Yosano about those later. Now wasn't the time to burden them.

The clock on the wall continued to sound like an endless series of gunshots shooting off into the abyss. Life really was like one giant battle for him. Lights were like Kunikida's flash bombs, Akutagawa's incessant coughing was like bombs going off in the middle of a hurricane, everyone's breathing was a heavy wind battering at him, and the faint, loud buzzing of electricity sounded like heavily bass-boosted 2013's-era brostep aimed straight at his ear drums. Not to mention that they were one wrong move away from launching into an actual war, though, if he predicted things correctly, then war would've been imminent either way. There was more to the Rats in the House of the Dead than met the eye, but he was never quite partial to seeing, was he? He was a great detective and could figure out anything. Which was how he knew that they were completely f—

The door exploded open with such force that he flinched and nearly fell out of his chair. His eyes flew open and he squinted through the sudden brightness to find that the door was not, in fact, lying in pieces on the floor but rather was just standing open. His mind raced to piece his thoughts together after the sudden interruption. How had he missed the footsteps?

At the door was Fancy Hat Dude, or Chuuya. He supposed it was time to start referring to people properly because it would be such a shame if all chances of (another) negotiation were ruined due to his "improper manners". He scoffed to himself.

Chuuya was no longer at the door, he noted. Rather, the executive was striding over to Akutagawa, who was nearly doubled over, clutching his stomach and coughing violently. Ranpo's ears were still ringing from the cacophony of sound, and he could feel a migraine developing behind his eyes from the sensory hell he was in. He tried to glance over at Yosano and convey his pain through friendship telepathy or whatever, but quickly regretted when he realized that even the smallest eye motion felt like two stabs delivered straight to the back of his eye sockets.

He leaned back again, massaging his forehead with his palms. 

More footsteps were coming up the stairwell and down the halls. Great. No, really, it was great, because now they could finally start discussing what to do with the smelly, gross, and also highly criminal guy currently (presumably) unconscious in a soundproof room that was under supervision by two fourteen-year-olds, and also how to deal with the fact that Fukuzawa (and Mori, he supposed, though he didn't care about him and would actually be rather pleased with his demise) was less than ten hours away from an excruciating death. But he wasn't stressed, not at all, he was a great detective and nothing could ever faze him.

...

...

Okay, yeah, fine, he was extremely stressed and they were all screwed.

__________

That idiot had forgotten to take his meds again, because of course he did. Anything that could go wrong would go wrong, huh?

Burning darkly both inside and out, he strode over to a choking Akutagawa. He slammed his hand into his back, allowed for the power to radiate out and stretch around a new form, and then quickly floated him over to the Agency doctor, who he'd taken note of as soon as he'd stepped into the room. 

"Take him," he barked, and then quickly severed the undulating waves of power stretching out between them. Akutagawa dropped onto the conference table like a sack of potatoes. He didn't have it in him to muster any extra sympathy. "We'll need him later."

He glanced behind him. After verifying the presence of the rest of the Port Mafia higher-ups, he focused in on himself and channelled energy through his legs and into the floor. The floor jolted with a low boom. That got their attention.

"Hey, Armed Detective Agency idiots," he began. "Get yourselves together. We have a lot to discuss. Namely," he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, "that."

As if on cue, through the door stumbled in a shaky and deathly pale mafia boss, leaning heavily against a flickering little girl. Mori had thankfully come out of his delirium near the end of the endless half-hour car ride, but it was still clear that he wasn't exactly in mint condition, and having been left wounded in a dumpster for several hours was doing nothing to improve his state. If the cannibalism virus didn't kill him, then the infection from whatever was teeming in the dumpsters behind the "Mori Corporation" buildings certainly would, and god, wasn't that a cheerful thought. The future sure was bright and smiling, huh? 

"And that," the Boss continued, pointing a thin finger left.

There was a brief moment of complete silence punctuated by stifled coughs. "Rintarou, that's a plant," Elise piped up. "Dofuto...dosutoefu..." She paused. "Whatever. The Russian's that way." She pointed right. 

"Ah, Elise-chan, of course..." the Boss muttered.

He thought he'd been a loyal part of the Port Mafia for long enough to not get smote on the spot for daring to speak against the Boss, which is exactly why he decided to speak up after half a second of deliberation. "Can we just get on with it already?"

Every eye in the immediate vicinity seemed to turn to him at once. 

"The hatrack's right. We should all stop getting sidetracked and start trying to solve the issue of both of organizations being on the verge of collapse. You know, I'm actually surprised the hatrack even had it in him to come up with such a beautiful idea, this entire time I was convinced his hat consumed his brai—"

The fact that he managed to keep himself from violating all of the Geneva Conventions within the span of a second was a testament to his self-control, and only marginally more impressive than the speed with which the blond detective kicked the offending waste of bandages into the nearest wall. 

"Please ignore him," calmly said Kunikida. "He does this a lot, my apologies. Let's proceed to the topic at hand."

He was a little awed. He made a mental note to buy the detective wine as compensation later.

"Yes, of course," Mori said, sounding strangely distant again.

#yeah thats literally where the draft ends #i told you it was unfinished #'how is this unedited but reads so eloquently' because i have literally the worst writing process imaginable lol #i write every sentence to be perfect right off the bat before moving onto the next perfect sentence #i never even learned how to properly edit/revise my own writing #anyway yeah #this is the last cloud update for the rest of forever #ill link this in the fic summary before anonymizing it #clouds