#it makes me really sad and angry and

[heroes-fading]

alright your rockstar anon is back to talk except off anon bc you have provided me with a new set of brain rot

wouldve couldve shouldve?????? being That song was so real and !!!!!!! one of the things I love about it is the universality of the bridge - “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” can apply to SO MANY THINGS, theres so much relatability to it and there’s probably a trend that blows up to Ellie’s song with people resonating with the song

so I’m just imagining the wave of social media support Ellie gets during that law suit, and while the entire situation is horrendous, the public outside of the courts understands and they support Ellie fully

also cant remember if this is on your spotify playlist but may I propose a song rec: praying by Kesha

hmmmm just re-listened to song rec (I only remembered the vibes when suggesting it) and I feel like the religious undertones are either1) ignore the song rec2) a way to say fuck you to handing out bibles at a festival David

---

LOVE thank you so much for being invested in this lil universe it makes me so happy!!! praying is a BANGER and dr l*ke was exactly one of the people I was thinking of when writing this iteration of david. kesha's court battle was really top of mind for me.

tbh I would love to believe in unanimous public support for ellie but after living through the past two years on social media...i think a lot of people would get it and for others it'd take the article and a lot of other women and girls coming forward to break through to them. and it shouldn't have to. but this is the world we live in. it helps that a record producer would be without the built in fanbase of movie stars or directors or big acts, so the backlash to ellie publicly wouldn't be that bad.

the support would probably outweigh the backlash, especially with another big act in her corner (joel's fanbase of random anti mainstream middle aged dudes and the Depressed Community would probably have her back and follow his example) but others would stay entirely silent for fear of retribution until tides really turned.

the saddest part of it is how common it is with women who come forward - and now we suddenly have the precedent of defamation lawsuits for women even daring to speak now even in vague terms. the closest we get to justice is when multiple women speak out and the solidarity that exists there but like...by that point that shit is serial.

the people that get it though fucking get it.

#ask #fic talk #tw SA #I hope it's okay for me to publish I love talking about this stuff!!! #and omg I'm such a downer #living through social media during the depp heard trial I think broke a lot of faith I had in people lmao #lmao said with depression #there's just so fucking many too #woody allen r kelly dan schneider bill Cosby #now brad pitt is using the same playbook to go after angelina when the kids have made their feelings clear #it makes me really sad and angry and #YEAH #my feminism has honestly been radicalized so much in the past two years lmao like the thread between me and being a good abolitionist is #the davids of the world #ANYWAY #In this universe Ellie gets the last word and David fades into irrelevance and jail time ❤️ #and someone makes a recording of Joel punching David with a blurry cell phone camera and sets it to different songs #internet meme: [me after listening to give me back my girlhood it was mine first] [gif of Joel punching David] #TV: the last of us #a lot of us wish we had a Joel lmao thinking of the debate coach who put his hand on my thigh when I was fourteen #the girls that get it #get it #he didn't get arrested just fired #last I heard he was a used car dealer #wishing all of the davids of the world a very meat cleaver barbeque #I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS

[xoxoemynn]

Now that the season's over, I'm feeling extra salty that the AMPTP couldn't get their shit together and negotiation a fair deal with SAG members. That was an incredible seasons that the actors, most of whom are not household names, have every right to be extremely proud of, and they couldn't share any of the joy or excitement that came along with it airing. Not to mention that being on this show could be huge for their careers, but they're not able to do anything to promote themselves to lead to future projects.

I'm hopeful that once a fair deal is reach the cast may do something like the Instagram lives Kristian hosted over the hiatus, just to give them the opportunity to share out about their experiences filming and give their reactions to what we saw on the show. It obviously won't be the same, but I do really hope they feel the love and appreciation the fandom has for their work and what they gave us.

#emynn.op #OFMD #you know Samba and Vico are just VIBRATING to share all the bts photos #just makes me sad/angry that they've been looking forward to this for so long #and missed out on a really fun and important part of it due to studios' greed

[daily-hanamura]

#persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 golden #p4g #hanamura yosuke #souyo #this scene revealed so much of their relationship in one go #yosuke has already long been established as yu's confidant at this point but this moment really drove it home! #yosuke anticipates each of yu's behaviour #but even though he disagrees with it he doesn't judge yu for it #even going so far as to help yu hide it from the rest of the team #its debatable whether thats necessarily a good thing #but it demonstrates yosuke's unwavering loyalty to yu while also making clear his disappointment #and of course yosuke has much to feel sad and disappointment over - one the one hand it felt like yu didnt trust him/them enough #he phrased it as a matter of “you should trust us more” as opposed to “you should trust ME more” because talking about trust in the singula #would hit too close to home and risk making too many demands of yu. demands that yosuke didnt feel he was allowed to make #afterall why would yu trust him but not the others? but the team is made up of other more reliable people than he was #and bringing up the team gives yosuke a defensive cover #so as usual it's part of yosuke's self doubt creeping in #but theres also honesty here - yosuke wasnt here to accost him or be angry at him; he really showed up just to make sure that yu was safe #and once hes confirmed it yosuke falls back to his usual habits of cracking a joke to lighten the mood #to end the conversation on a joke feels like its as much a service for yu as it is for himself #we know yosuke tends to joke to make the people around him feel better and i think in this instance he was also trying to cheer yu up #whether it was to make up for yosuke approaching him or to alleviate any guilt yu might feel #or even to manage whatever it was that adachi might have said to yu (which yosuke undoubtedly picked up on) #yosuke doesn't let his disagreement with yu get in the way of supporting his partner #to some extent i also wonder if this loyalty was also coloured by their previous interaction with namatame and Yosuke's anger #it's been less than a week since that incident after all and i think theres this contradiction for yosuke #and i think there was probably a contradiction in Yosuke's heart in that moment: he doesn't trust himself to make good judgements #but as much as he'd rather take yu's lead in this instance he also feels like his leader was wrong here

[anonymergremlin]

Slight warning since it is a little bit... disturbing:

Had a talk with a friend about P having a dick because his father wanted him to resemble Carlo completely. It is a really disgusting thought especially if P's lover used to be Carlo's lover.

Like... Imagine the inventor!stalker!reader feeling comfortable and lustful enough to experience some romantic sexual moments with their puppet lover, only to end up being shocked that his body... Is really like Carlo's.

#lies of p #lies of p x reader #p x reader #headcanon #inventor!stalker!reader #really disgusting and sad #also makes me angry #>:[

[shima-draws]

Rewatching HTTYD 2 and RTTE made me realize how badly they fucked everyone over in HTTYD 3. Like. Did they just look at all their character development and go “Yeah, we can flush this down the drain”, or

#Shima speaks #It's so bad. It's SO bad #I mean arguably the characterization in HTTYD 2 needs work as well but like. #We got the MAJORITY of the character development in the TV series so it's fair they can't really express all of that in the films #But like. Even the difference between 2 and 3. They reduced all the dragon riders to be comedic relief #And it makes me SO sad #Especially Snotlout and Fishlegs #And don't even get me STARTED on how they totally bungled Valka's character #Lies down #Thinking about HTTYD 3 makes me so angry. God dammit. #They had ONE JOB #Putting aside all of my regular complaints about 3 there's still SO much more that's wrong with it #Grinding my teeth banging on the walls pulling my hair out etc #HTTYD #Sorry lmao just. Watching the first two films and the series really puts things into perspective of how bad the third film is #I cannot. I cannae #How To Train Your Dragon

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this #i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry! #i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc- #-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to #but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)- #and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult #and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back?????? #we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro.... #and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP #NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL #i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess #this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed #and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end) #but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ #he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT #not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ #i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider) #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #duncan grimwater #im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us

[chainofclovers]

Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death

#(i'm fine) #(personally) (mostly) (really) #this has just been an absolutely terrible year for our planet and its people and animals #and it's fucking insane that as an american living in relative safety and comfort and experiencing the pleasures and guilt of that... #...i can experience this horrible yet ENTIRELY SURVIVABLE blend of acute pain over so many things at once #including war and genocide and the utter hopelessness of that #and also things like being really really sad that matthew perry's life was so hard and he died #and also so many bad and weird things have happened to family members this year but we mostly have the resources to come together and deal #which is amazing and bolstering and exhausting #and my brain still has space to be excited about writing and numb to writing and angry/impotent about writing #desperate for feedback yet private and retreat-y and weird #always hoping to hit upon The Perfect Thing :-/ #and i live in a place that basically is not a democracy any more and also the u.s. is so cursed we've never been what we said we were #so a lot of my own perceived safety is incredibly fragile #but still so much more solid than what the people i am mourning for had #and none of the comparisons make a lick of sense and are in and of themselves deeply unfair #to the point that it's humiliating to feel guilt (making it about me) and simultaneously humiliating that i don't feel guilt *constantly* #and i have therapy this week but also this deep sense that while my therapist will be a fine person to talk to it will feel unuseful #i've always been a muddle of optimism and pessimism and i am very adamant that life is super beautiful and this is precisely why... #...all the violence in the world is so brutally devastating #it's just that the casserole of all these thoughts feels increasingly horrible #and feeling that way is 100% sane #and even intersectional frameworks and intentional attempts at gentleness only get you so far in the grapple #for meaning and for ideas of what to do #so i end up contacting my reps about various awful things #and zooming in and out on my fixations and having excellent days and terrible days #often dependent on what feels like a camera setting i only partially control #and i'm sure i'm not alone in feeling embarrassed that deep empathy and grief for people i've not met somehow ends up being... #...at least a sliver about ME and my little world #about me

[thisvisionofmyspirit]

Maybe a controversial opinion that y'all are going to take the wrong way but. Metal is a music genre, not a honorific title. People who say Sleep Token isn't metal might think they're insulting ST but they actually aren't. People who say ST is metal might think they're defending ST but they actually aren't.

"Is ST metal?" is a purely neutral debate. The answer, whatever it is, should only matter to you when you're looking for their discography at the store and you want to know what category they might be in because you have a bus to catch and you don't want to wander around the aisles for half an hour. It says nothing about the band's merits.

I think if we could all agree on that, we wouldn't get mad at each other.

#sleep token #no need to attack me for this obviously #if you want to put your whole heart into an essay explaining why st *needs* to be recognized as metal you do you #i just think that you know #thinking that 'it's not metal' is a bs take that only ignorant and elitist people can have is not helpful #and maybe a little elitist itself? #people argue about this like metal is a medal of honor and it is crucial to determine whether st *deserves* it or not #when really objectively you could call them electro swing and you still wouldn't be disrespecting them #because genres are just ways to classify bands on the market it's not a hierarchy #and no matter what you call st their music is still going to be what it is #so yeah #looks like an epidemic of people-who-disagree-with-me-on-this-are-being-problematic-itis #when and i insist metal isn't some superior genre that requires a stamp of approval #this isn't a rant i respect people who are passionate about this #but i feel like if this genuinely makes you angry or sad questioning the point of this debate might help

[drbased]

exhibit #5640394 of centrists thinking that their centrism is the most morally pure opinion purely because of how it pisses off the most people

#look I don't know if this is a 'me' thing #but having incredibly unpopular moral opinions actually makes me really sad and angry - not smug

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #Just a bit but y'know - Enough #It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D: #Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!! #And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;; #Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement #At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it! #He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh #He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would! #One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite #But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side! #They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me! #I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way #I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D #That tracks hehe ♫ #Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was #He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!! #So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3 #It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware #It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪ #Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe #Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph #It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines #I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol #So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥ #The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪

[w1tchybusiness]

i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.

#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up #to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart #that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is #everything about it makes me incredibly autistic #from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers #to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players #and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale #it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby #and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance #and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell #SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD #IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO #SPOILER WARNING #i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game #i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m #i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about #fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible #for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling #the story really spoke to me on a deeper level #and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result #so to do absolutely everything that i could #to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail? #and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe? #felt like i got kicked in the stomach #i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN. #which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful #but MOTIVATING. #my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself #i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra #and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance

[orcelito]

Opening the local bubble tea store absolutely livid and shaking in rage and upset bc my bitch ass boss is too concerned about us sitting on the job to order the tea bags I requested Two Fucking Weeks Ago (it only takes like 4 or 5 days to ship) and so we're out and I had to hand wash the 1 reusable bag to make black tea and I have to strain the free floating tea leaves from the cold brew and I just KNOWWWW he's going to have something more to bitch about because he always does

Last straw on the camel's back, etc etc, I want to put in my two weeks notice by the end of this week. That's a goal for myself.

#speculation nation #i currently dont have a job lined up but im going to start applying Today #because i cant take this anymore. i cant fucking take this anymore. #i feel like im about to shatter from the strain of hos chokehold #8 years total under his thumb and for What? he doesnt appreciate me. he doesnt value me. #he's an asshole this place sucks and it makes me so sad because i really do care about the people here #but i cant. i cant fucking do it anymore. #im really glad im alone on shift rn bc ha ha ha. ill put up the mask for customers but i am #genuinely shaking rn. im so upset. #this being after he complained Again about people sitting on the job during the meeting last night like #shut UPPPP I DONT CAAAARE #YOU TRY WORKING WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND FATIGUE AND A JOB THAT DOESNT GIVE GENUINE BREAKS #'oh if you need to take a break then do it but just dont sit down on the job“ #WHEN DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE MY BREAK? IM WORKING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+ #and when im.not working alone im working with trainees so i still cant leave the store unattended #im sick of him.im so sick of him and im THIIIIIIIIIS close to just breaking down here and now #i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM #negative/ #sorry for the vent i just feel like.im about to blow up and everyone's busy so ic cant. vent properly #im not even done opening bc im too busy freaking out and pacing and being angry #and hes gonna watch me sitting here thru the cameras and be like Ho Hum Look at you immediately doing what i said not to #like fucking STOP!!!! WATCHING US!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #IM SO SICK OF HIM WATCHING US THROUGH THE CAMERAS. HE HAS NO TRUST IN ME DOING MY JOB #0 value for me as a person or employee 0 value for my to this day dedication to this company #i want to send my heel through those front windows. watch them shatter. wreck the whole place #because fuck this place and fuck him #i wontttt bc i dont wanna go to jail lol but the temptation is there. i fucking hate his guts. #im going to put in my 2 weeks by the end of this week. im going to start applying to places Today. just fucking watch me.

[nympippi]

angsty vance

that is all 👍

“Why haven’t the adults helped me”

#vance hopper fanart #vance the black phone #tbp vance fanart #the black phone fanart #the black phone #the black phone fandom #pippi art #albert shaw #the grabber #I headcannon Albert worked at the Grab n Go thanks to a fanfic I read #like it’s the perfect place to scope out children and see who’s who and who hangs around who too #I think the Grabber probably stalked Vance for a long time. possibly trying to befriend him to lower his guard. to try and get him to trust #him. #Vance probably found him really weird but he gave him money to play pinball so he wasn’t too worried at the time #I headcannon that Vance probably didn’t have a good home life or a lot of real friends. because who would want to hang around big bad. #pinball Vance #thinking about Vance just makes me both sad and angry because I remember being 14. being his age and just :( #it hurts me sm #this drawing actually got me really sad ngl #but I hope you like the Vance angst! #and thank you for requesting this! #yes I stole the audio from another media. I’m just too tired to add it :P

[da-proti-toku-grem]

i was having a midnight talk with my brother yesterday and i told him that when i went out with my friend the other day i didn't have any anxiety attack (like it usually happens to me every time i go out of my house), and you know i wasn't expecting him to say anything about it, people would usually go "...okay? 🤨" like, that's what it's supposed to be like, why would you have anxiety because of that? but he went: "Good! 😁" and high-five'd me

and i- i didn't know what to say but it warmed my heart :(

#i'm might or might not be tearing up a little as i write this #like. i don't think anyone has ever reacted like that when i tell smth like this #i think no one that i know irl really understand my social anxiety and everyone is like 'oh she's just shy' #and when i gather the courage to do smth that makes me feel really anxious (but it's considered 'normal' and 'not a big deal') people just - #- laugh it off in front of my face and they're like 'oh look at her! she did [whatever]' #and idk if it makes me more sad or angry. definitely both #but i never say anything ofc bc my fucking anxiety doesn't let me be mean to anyone on purpose even if they really deserve it sometimes #(well. that might just be my personality in general more than my anxiety but oh well) #fuck i'm ranting again but yeah. i felt good that someone for once didn't just laugh and actually acknowledged that it is hard for me #but i did it anyways and i didn't feel bad about it (just this time but smth is smth) #and i should be proud of myself for taking these little steps (i'm telling this to myself to convince me that it's true) #(idk it's working really well lol) #maca speaks #venting #(the venting was more just the tags but you get it)

[lighthouseas]

so uh

#don't. really feel too great abt stranger things right now for obvious reasons #it's....idk my feelings are complicated because i do know characters ≠ actors but also the shit that brett has been saying is absolutely #-batshit and then the stuff noah liked today....idk. seeing actors i once used to admire do this really fucking hurt. and made me angry. #-and sad. #it's not that i don't still like st it's just...complicated right now #and looking at the stuff they said makes me physically ill so #and anyway. sorry i know i never post about stuff like this on main but i just thought i should put it out there bc im . upset #and i also really don't want to cause myself to spiral anymore so #zionism #zionist #idk what tags my mutuals have filtered so if i need to tag anything else please let me know - i just don't want to clog the i/p tags w this #bee.txt