#it’s such a shame it was skated in the year/season it was- they were starting again in seniors

[tutuandscoot]

A ‘how had this not been gifed already’ kinda moment

#VT is a GOD TIER program omg I’m not kidding when I say it probably could’ve won in YVR #just put some better lifts in and I swear it is worthy of that kind of celebration #it’s such a shame it was skated in the year/season it was- they were starting again in seniors #it was not given the appreciation it deserves #so from now on let’s make sure it does #my beautiful dancing bbys #fd: valse Triste #TEB 2006

[bitchinbarzal]

Last Christmas | M.Barzal

this is my entry for @antoineroussel christmas fic exchange!

this is for you, @lhugh! happy holidays annie 🎄🤍

this fic does use they/them pronouns as they are annie’s pronouns! 🫶🏼

word count: 2,461 words

-

Last Christmas, you walked into December planning every festive activity possible; the Rockefeller Christmas tree, Nutcracker at New York City ballet, Radio City Rockettes even letting Mat show you up at skating.

That was until Mat dropped the break up bomb on you. You couldn’t really comprehend it all, too confused and hurt at once.

You were supposed to spend Christmas with Mat and the team at the Martin’s. You never answered Sydney’s texts after the breakup.

You spent Christmas alone.

You were thankful the islanders tanked their 21/22 season. It meant that they all left to go home as soon as possible.

That meant no islanders, no jerseys, no chants on the train home from work.

No Mat.

He went home to Coquitlam two days after the islanders lost to Tampa.

Mat spent his first summer in seven years bouncing around from place to place. He was out on the lake with Tyson for a few weeks and he visited Anthony and Emma when they bought their new home in Quebec.

He wasn’t home long with his family until he got a call, from Brock. His dad had died.

He asked if you and Mat could attend the funeral, his father really adored you both in the time he’d met you and he knew Mat well. Mathew agreed to attend, claiming you were busy but sent your well wishes.

He flew into Minnesota the day prior, dropping off flowers to Brock’s mom and she welcomed him into her home giving him a drink and thanking him for coming.

“He always liked watching you play, unless you played against Vancouver of course” she laughed, Mat gave her a smile “It’s a shame y/n couldn’t come”

“Yeah, it’s a shame” he mumbled.

Next he saw her was at the funeral, listening while she stood talking about her husband, the love she had for him, how much she missed him already.

All Mat could think about when he heard her words were you.

You were his best friend.

You were the person who knew him best.

You were supposed to be around forever.

When Mat got home after that trip he didn’t do much, he was no longer in the mood to go out partying, celebrating with friends.

Mat returned to Long Island in the end of August.

He frequented the coffee shop you guys often did and he even walked the route in the morning you did. He didn’t see you.

It wasn’t until week 3 of attending the same coffee shop that the barista, Logan said to him

“Mat, they don’t come in here anymore I’m sorry. Said they needed a fresh start after the breakup”

He silently nodded to the girl, hoping she hadn’t caught his face falling. He simply took his flat white from the counter and exited to building.

Contract talks started in mid-september.

The organization called in May to the office to discuss; throwing around money and perks.

He took the time to digest the information. He called him mom and dad to see what their opinions were on the whole thing, called his financial advisor and even called Anders but the number he kept hovering over belonged to you.

Everyone’s advice was along the lines of “you need to see yourself settling down in Long Island with a contract term like that” and he did, with you.

The deal was signed on October 4th.

@ny_islanders: “I love It here” says Mathew Barzal, after signing his 8 year extension to stay here in Long Island 💙🤍🧡

You read the tweet, saw the posts and the stories from your mutual friends. You wanted to text him — tell him congratulations, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

So instead, you simply put an orange heart emoji under the islanders post about his extension and scrolled on.

Mat saw it. His heart soared at the simplicity of it but yet the fact he knew you were still thinking of him, that you in some way still cared.

Late October, the leaves were starting to fall and hockey was beginning again. Mat wasn’t playing his best — missing goals, easy passes and a lot of falling over.

People started doubting him; calling him a fake, a money grabber and claiming they wished Lou hadn’t even drafted his extension papers.

Mat started to doubt himself too.

was he good enough?

should he have signed the papers?

was he worth the money?

was Long Island better off without him? were you?

There is was! The real problem.

Ever since that last December his mind had been stuck on you and really it shouldn’t have because it was his fault, he broke up with you.

If anyone asked Mat why you broke up he would say “We just wanted different things”

If Mat was honest with himself he would say “I was scared I wasn’t enough for them”

The first few months of hockey came and passed with not a single goal from Mat.

Lambert pulled him aside one morning at practice to tell him “You better get your head out of your ass son because one more game the way you’ve been going and you’ll be benched for the rest of this year”

The last game in November, against Philadelphia Mat was a healthy scratch.

His punishment was over by the next game but Lane told him in no specific terms he had to step up. Mat just groaned and mumbled a “Yeah, I’m fucking trying” before leaving the office.

It was harder now that it was December.

In summer he could just pretend things weren’t different.

You weren’t at his families house? You had to be with your mom.

He was alone at the casino event? You had work.

But Christmas, that was different. Christmas wasn’t something he could sweep under the rug and pretend you were busy.

You’d spent every Christmas together since Mat was eighteen years old. Your first Christmas in New York was an overwhelming experience and Mat thought it adorable at how excited you were about everything.

He bought you a necklace that year. It had his number on it, the gold chain necklace held the number thirteen on your chest and you never took it off.

It was a staple piece in your collection, whenever someone at one of your fancy work dinners or meetings would ask

“Hey why does your necklace have the thirteen on it?”

You would smile so bright, in such adoration and reply “My boyfriend, mat. He plays hockey for the New York Islanders and he’s number thirteen! but always number one to me” and everyone would laugh and call you cute.

You’d left that necklace behind the night you’d packed your stuff up to leave. Mat found it when he returned home from Boston on an away game to find you’d obviously been in and cleared out your belongings too while he was gone.

He took the necklace and posted it to your mom’s house, the only address connected to you he knew. He never knew if you’d gotten it back, not that it mattered much anyway because why would you want to wear it after you’d broken up?

Mat’s no goal streak continued up to the last game before Christmas, December 23rd and he was goal-less.

He was so frustrated at everything he couldn’t think straight about getting this goal. He was spending Christmas alone for the second year in a row — alone, without you.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you no matter how hard he tried. How you’d been here tonight wearing a silly Christmas jumper and cheering about the last game before Christmas.

They tanked the first period, Tkachuk got away with the puck leaving them up one by the end of the first. There were so many penalties, stupid penalties. It was a mess.

Second period, they equalised in the first few minutes with a goal from Beau before Brock got them up another which was matched not long after by Florida.

When the third period hit it was like something went off in Mat, that he had a surge of energy.

He got a goal, his first season goal! Then another and another with only a few seconds left on the clock.

Hat-trick. He got a hatty.

He’d done it. He finally scored a goal this season, they won the game and he got a hat-trick!

So why didn’t he feel like it was enough?

When he got back to the locker room, Mat pulled his phone out of his bag and looked at his notifications; texts from friends and family congratulating him on the goals, random emails but it was as though he was searching for something.

He clicked through the phone until he landed on what he wanted and pressed it before holding the phone up to his ear.

It rang twice before it connected

“Hello?”

“Um, hey! This is weird and I’m not sure why I’m doing this but I felt like I had to because, well because I scored my first goal of the season tonight. I scored my first season goal and I got a hatty too which I mean is a lot but I don’t feel like it’s enough”

Mat sighed, completely blocking out his team-mates listening to this conversation and looking on with sympathy

“It’s not enough because I know you’re not here-“

“-Mat-“

“No, please let me finish it’s taken me long enough to get the courage to call you. I was stupid for what I did last Christmas and I will wholeheartedly tell you that this year has been the worst year of my life and maybe you call that karma, I call it a wake up call that you… you’re the love of my life and that I want to be with you, I was scared and stupid but I’m better I will be better for you! I’m ready to be the man you need”

After his spiel, Mat took a deep breath awaiting your answer but instead was met with a dead line.

You hung up on him.

Mat looked dejectedly at him phone in hand before he got up to get dressed as he was very spitefully aware of the media and press awaiting him outside the door.

He breezed through media by giving them one word answers and a bored look, they usually let him away early when he did that.

Collecting his bag from the now empty locker room and sulking down the hallway towards the car park.

He wasn’t even looking up, instead opted for the wonderful view of his scuffed shoes. Paying so little attention he didn’t even see you standing at the end of the hallway.

“Nice shot!” His head whipped up, locking eyes with you almost immediately.

You watched his face go through a multitude of emotions before it softened and he muttered “What-“

“I was here Mat” is what you said, gesturing to the stairs you’d descended from your seat “I was sat up there and I watched it, I was cheering you on”

Mat was speechless, fumbling over his words and his eyes flickered across your body, trying to drink you in while you were stood in front of him before his eyes landed on your neck.

Lay on your black shirt was a necklace, the necklace.

The number thirteen lay to elegantly on your chest “You got it”

You looked down and smiled “Oh yeah, my mom sent it to my apartment” playing with it between your thumb and pointer finger.

A soft silence settled between you both, it wasn’t weird or awkward — it could never be awkward between you and Mat.

Until Mat broke the silence by asking

“Why are you here?”

You smiled gently “The islanders last game before Christmas has always been my tradition since I moved to New York you know that and so I never changed it this year, despite the circumstances” the last bit was a little snappy and he knew that.

“I meant what i said on that call by the way” you nodded curtly as a reply before holding out your hand for him to take

“How about you drive us around that neighbourhood with the good Christmas lights and we can talk, in the car eh?”

The Christmas lights, another tradition between you both.

Mat reached out, clasping his hand in yours and nodding “Yeah, let’s do that”

The lights on peoples home’s had somehow gotten better this year and you admired them all in a childlike fashion from the passenger seat of Mathew’s Range Rover.

“This is one of my favourite traditions we started” you say, still looking out the window. Your hand rested now on the console in the middle of the car.

Mat slipped his hand into yours, taking a leap of faith which paid off when you clasped it in yours and squeezed it.

“Yeah, i love it” he muttered, pulling the car into the side of the road now you’d reached the end of the street.

You turned to him now, waiting for him to say something.

“Listen, this is all really weird and I wish I was better with words because I would like to be able to tell you the million and one ways in which I absolutely adore you and regret what I did last Christmas every single day. However, what I can do is promise you, I promise you that I will work everyday to prove to you how much I love you and how sorry I am — I ruined Christmas and I think that’s what hurts the most is that I tainted something you love so much-“

You cut him off then, your hands resting on his cheeks; forcing him to look at you and you said “Christmas is not ruined, Christmas has brought me back to the boy I love with my whole heart and being. Don’t you ever think that you ruined Christmas because sure it wasn’t fun last year but we will have a million more Christmas’ to make up for it”

He nodded, head moving slightly so he could press a kiss onto your palm “I’ll make every Christmas the most special just for you”

“As long as I’ve got you, baby any Christmas is special”

On Christmas, when Mat arrived late to the Lee’s for Christmas with the team he walked in smiling

“Sorry, sorry I’m late I had to pick something up!”

“Dude it’s Christmas Day where could you possibly have gone to pick-“ Anthony cut himself off when he saw you enter the house, gifts stacked up in your arms that you placed on the table next to the door before grabbing Mat’s outreached hand.

“Oh my god, it’s a Christmas miracle!”

#mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #nhl imagine

[ghostofthemost141]

Street Spirit

Pairing: Ghost x GN! Reader, First POV, no use of (Y/N)

Word Count: 1,457

Themes: Little Angst, Little Fluff, Hints at Emotional Abuse, Both Ghost and You opening up to each other

About: During a stakeout during a mission on a cold evening, you and your little miss sunshine attitude, manage to break down Ghost's walls he has built up.

Notes: I based this one off of the song Street Spirit (Fade Out) by Radiohead. Super great song! Nickname for this fic is Robin, meaning shining and bright. I aimed for this to be gender neutral but if it doesn't seem that way then please let me know! I'd rather be told so it can be correct for future works. Enjoy!

It may be chilly out here, but I was comfortable. I love winter time, it is my favorite season in the entire year. The snow, the animals being dusted with snow frolicking through the knee deep snow, ice skating, it is truly the best season of the year. 

“You payin’ attention, Robin?” Ghost’s sudden voice made me jump. 

“Oh uh yes, yes sir Lieutenant.” I said, bringing my focus back to where we were looking. 

“Just sir is fine.” Ghost reminded me. 

“Yes, sir.” 

Ghost made a quiet sigh when he heard me. I try not to annoy him really, but I look up to Ghost in an odd way. He is very strong, very brave, and can turn his emotions off. I am learning so much from him the more I do missions with him and he always insists that I do missions with him, so he can’t hate me that much, right? 

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, but he heard me. 

“You don’t need to apologize every single time, alright? You’re fine.” Ghost reassured me, despite his tone remaining the same. 

I didn’t say anything back as I regained my focus at the building we were scoping. I could hear Ghost mumbling something to himself. 

Makes me wonder how you got into this field in the first place. 

Oh. 

“I want to make my parents proud.” I said out loud, letting him know that I heard him. 

He didn’t say anything back but his eyes were on me. 

“They never really said they were proud of me. Ever. Not when I got my first school award, not when I graduated high school, not when I graduated college, not ever. But my younger sister, she could make a B on a test and they would praise the ground she walked on. It’s not fair, you know?” I poured out, not caring whether or not he was listening. 

It was silent for a moment and through the blistering cold winds I could barely feel the small tears that were falling down my face. 

“Why do ‘ou want their approval so badly?” Ghost asked, surprised he was even asking. 

I shrugged my shoulders. 

“Cause they are my parents, I guess? I don’t know.” 

I honestly wasn’t even sure how to answer that. 

“Why do you keep seeking validation from ‘hem when you know it’s not going to change?” 

Now he was asking the real questions. 

“You got me there, L.T.” I say, seeing a white rabbit hopping around through the snow. 

The white rabbit dug through the snow every so few feet, looking for some food. Oh to be a white rabbit in the winter just hopping through the snow, not having a care in the world. The only thing I’d miss is being around L.T. Even though it is quite forbidden, I feel like I have begun to develop feelings for my Lieutenant.  Everytime I am near him or close to him, my heart starts pounding out of my chest as if I was one of those silly cartoon characters from the 70s that was in love. Their faces turning bright red with blush and their hearts pounding out of their chests in a very cartoony and exaggerated way. That’s how I felt every time I was around Lieutenant. I most definitely looked up to Lieutenant Ghost and I wish to be like him the longer I am down the road, but I didn’t see myself developing feelings for him. I leaned my head down, in almost shame, feeling more of my tears run down my face. 

Why can’t you be more like your sister? 

She has better grades than you. 

You’ve grown pudgy, you need to be fit like your sister. 

She is picture perfect, why can’t you be like her? 

Why can’t you be like her? 

Why can’t you be like her? 

Why can’t you be like her? 

Why can’t you be like her? 

Why can’t you be like her? 

Why 

Can’t 

You

Be 

Like- 

“You’ll freeze if you keep this up, love.” 

I felt a soft felt get pushed up on my face by Ghost as he essentially wiped my cold tears off of my face. He is not wrong about that. I was kind of surprised he was looking out for me and he was leaning in close to me- Wait, did he just call me love? 

“Thanks, L.T.” I thanked him as my face dried up from my tears. 

“Just..Simon is alright.” 

I turned to see if he was serious and I could just see from his eyes that he was indeed serious. 

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

“Only if it's just the ‘too’ of us.” He reiterated. 

I had to hold in my chuckle hearing how he said two, and luckily I managed to keep it together. 

“Yes, sir.” I said, nearly letting a chuckle out. 

We were now in a comfortable silence, still waiting for our target to show up to the building that we were staking out right now. Price, Soap, Gaz, and Laswell were on the other side of the building doing what Ghost and I were doing basically. It’s just that Ghost insisted I came with him. 

“Simon?” 

“Hm?” He grumbled. 

“Why did you insist I come with you for this and not anyone else?” I ask. 

Ghost did a deep sigh, as if he was preparing the right words to say. 

“Despite your, little miss sunshine attitude, I see great potential in you.” Simon confessed. 

Lieutenant sees potential in me? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yeah.” Ghost said, “I want to train you to be better than I am.” 

“Why? You’re great, Simon. A great leader and person.” I told him. 

Ghost did another one of those sighs, except this time the silence between us was longer than it had been. Did I say something bad? 

“Well, I actually went through what you went through. Sort of.” Simon started. 

And now he is opening up to me? This is kind of crazy cause I have no idea what kind of person Simon is nor who or what he was before he came to the Task Force. 

“My father shouldn’t have been a father. He was a real piece of shiet. Always taunted me, made fun of me, commented everythin’ I did, it was as if my existence was just wrong in his eyes.” Simon explained to me. 

I felt my heart sink as Simon told me that. I had no idea he went through something like that but I guess it explains the way that he is. 

“I decided to join the military, to get away from it all. Only to come across the wrong enemy and..” Simon paused, collecting his words, “my mother, brother, and father were all murdered by the enemy. I was also tortured for hours on end. Bloody fuckers trying to break me, but they never did. I eventually blew the wanker’s brains out. But it all sticks with me.” Simon finished. 

I felt a frog enter my throat, in shock from what Simon just told me. I didn’t know what to say. I can tell this has affected him greatly and it sticks with him. He has to live with something like that every single day. I couldn’t imagine. Simon was still close up next to me that our shoulders were nearly touching. Without putting too much thought into it, I raised my hand up and rested it on Simon’s shoulder. I can tell he felt it, but he didn’t turn nor acknowledge me. 

“I am sorry about that, Simon. This may seem kind of silly, but if you are ever having one of those days, you know, when it is hurting you more than it should on any given day, you can come to me.” I offered. 

“Thank you, Robin. You can do the same for me.” Simon offered as well. 

“It will be our little secret.” I teased. 

“Don’t push it, bird.” 

“Hey, it's Robin to you! Price declared that as my name after all.” I taunted, earning an eye roll from Simon. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled. 

As much as I liked our little moment together, it felt good to be back to our normal basis. From a far distance, I could see Soap’s light signal. 

“That’s us.” I said as Simon quickly got up on his feet. 

As I was starting to get up, Simon reached his hand down to me. I grabbed it and he lifted me up to my feet. Damn he was strong. 

“On the run, Robin.” 

“Yes, sir Lieutenant Simon.” 

Simon sighed as we began our run to the rendezvous meeting spot for our mission. Things shall be more interesting from now on. 

END

#simon ghost riley #cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #call of duty #callofduty #cod modern warfare #ghost x reader #cod ghost #cod x reader #modern warfare x reader #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare 2

[jennibeultimate]

Personal recap European Championship 2024 - Men SP

I didn't post much recaps this season but today I had some things to say about the Men SP at Euros. And I had a massively productive and stressful day ane watching skating is my treat!

Overall there were some good skates but the last group was disappointing besides Lukas 🫶...I should have listened to my wifi when it decided to crash during Deniss' skate. 😅 (I rebooted the wifi and watched the rest)

Favorites continue to struggle...first the Italian Pairs Conti/Macci and also Adam Siao Him Fa had to fight. Unlike Conti/Macci he could make up for his mistakes with a massive BV. I think the pressure is realIy high, so for this he fought very well. 🫶 I really like Adam but his PCS are too high in comparison to others like Deniss. The first part of the program is also just skating from one jump to the other, if you look away from the vibe the first part is not more complex program wise than Ilia's for example.

Lukas Britschgi is such a fun guy! He is such a joy to watch! ❤️ The little costume change is fun too! Fun music, fun skater, clean program that's why I watch skating! 👏👏👏👏👏👏😁😁😁😁😁😁

Aleksandr Selevko was soooooo good! Amazing! Probably my personal highlight of the night! The spin position on the heel is so unusual and so cool. The whole program was so unique and amazing! 👏👏👏👏 I always loved his skating but so often he was unstable so I am so happy for him 🫶

Team Italy 🇮🇹 without Grassl I like 😁

Nikolaj Memola is such a beautiful skater and it's even more amazing with his gigantic height! Shame about the 4Lz fall but otherwise so beautiful.

Gabriele Frangipani is a bit underrated. He's full of charisma and his jumping ain't bad. When I saw him live he was always one of the memorable skaters. No matter if he had a good or bad skate he always performed so well.

Matteo Rizzo has a severe hip injury so he probably should not even be skating but he fought. Also that he patted Kevin's back despite it being his own take to skate shows a kind heart. ❤️ Get well soon Matteo! 🫶

Daniel Weiss the German commentator calls Deniss Vasiljews "Picasso on ice" and I think that's a good discription. 🫶 Deniss drop the quad for the SP challenge! It just doesn't make any sense in the SP. If he has to try it than try it in the free skate. And the other jumps are also not super great so why not stick to what you're good at. I think he got away quite good with the scores. But how beautiful and emotionally Deniss skates it can't hide the fact that there is no upward trend for Deniss in the last few years. And I am tired of the "I am on the right way" and "it's a good process" comments. Something clearly doesn't match. I dunno if the emotional attachement to Stephane helps or if it rather makes him stay with something that clearly doesn't bring him forward. Same goes for Kevin and his coaches btw. I know it's always easy to judge from the outside and I know he is far from being at the start of his career, but sometimes a change does wonders.

Some additional remarks about some skaters:

- Nikita Starostin - I have some beef with the German federation. This fed is incompetent as hell btw it just gets little talked about outside of Germany. He was really bad at Nats (I was there in person) and Kai Jagoda was 100 times better and contrary to Nikita he doesn't have an underrotation problem. His 3As are kinda stable. Nikita has a tiny bit more BV and if he's good he gets higher scores than Kai bc his overall quality is better, but I feel like as Nikita didn't have a stellar season and Kai delivered well at Nats and is fairly consistent they should have given Kai the chance. And I mean Nikita really didn't positively stand out today...it was ok but nothing Kai could not have done too.

- poor Mihhail Selevko 😭😭😭 Aleksandr was so good and he had such a bad day. Best and worst skates from the siblings!

- I really love Disney and especially Lion King but Vladimir Litvintsev does everything wrong what you can do wrong...horrible music cuts... horrible costume and no connection to the program....

- Nika Egadze has everything I don't like in a skater. ETERI AS A COACH! Stiffness in the knees, no deep edges, no connection to music and a weird costume. I mean what's that little white snippet that's added to the costume? I have nothing personally against Nika but he's really one of the few skaters whose skating I really don't like at all.

- Kevin Aymoz - what is there to say? 💔 I am truly heartbroken for him and everyone who celebrates the downfall of such a brilliant skater can go to hell. It's one thing if you don't like his personal choices but no one deserves to be celebrated for such a failure. There is no need to stomp on someone who is already on the floor. Did he look on the verve of giving up? Yes. Is this a good look? Not at all. Should he have come to Euros? I think yes if he felt stable and practices were ok. If he felt not ready then this was bound to happen from the start. I do understand the French Fed choice though. If he is on he could win a medal on European level his SkAm scores are among the highest of all international skaters. I think he has a real mental problem atm. And I don't think he should go to Worlds. A disaster skate can happen to anyone and I could even try to say FrenchNats was just bc it was so short after the disaster but sadly this is not just accidental at this point, it's a pattern. He has to break the pattern, maybe he should do small comps first where results aren't so important and get back the feeling for competing. I really wish him well! My heart goes out to Kevin! There will be better days! ❤️

#figure skating #ec kaunas 2024 #personal recap #it's long sorry #deniss vasiljevs #adam siao him fa #aleksandr selevko #kevin aymoz

[kaigarax]

"Anyways, I'm Falling In Love With You."

Sabito x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love by overcoming your preconceived notions of someone."

My Dearest,

I don’t do well in cold temperatures and I get sick easily. But I love autumn, even if this marks the end of another year of you being gone. Another autumn without you.

Yours Truly

---

Sabito was surprised when he heard the familiar sound of steel on ice when he entered the rink.

Of course, it was obvious that you would hear the sound of skates in an ice rink but this late at night? It wasn’t usual. Especially because the season for skaters had just started. Most skaters (hockey, figure and speed alike) only made it to the rink during the necessary practice times and gradually ramped it up as the season progressed. So to hear the sound of someone upon the ice this late at night was a pleasant surprise.

Sabito himself had been forced to head back to the rink after forgetting his bag. He usually would have left it but he’d forgotten his phone charger in the bag and wasn’t in the mood to play chicken with his phone’s battery.

So, after grabbing his bag, Sabito slowly made his way to the rink curious to see who was eager enough to find themselves on the ice this early into the season. While he did want to head home and soak in a nice long bath his curiosity won over. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d miss out on much soaking if he was to peek his head into the rink and see who was there.

It could have been a hockey player for all he knew, trying to get some shots up after a shabby practice. Or maybe one of the speed skaters trying to break in a new pair of skates for the season.

It wasn’t.

Sabito wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not to see you on the ice.

You were one of the newer skaters to the scene, seemingly taking the world by storm two years ago. From what Sabito had heard, you’d originally only come in as a replacement skater partner for one of the skaters that had gotten injured and surprised everyone by stealing the gold with your youthful charm and ultimately the starter position. Every tournament after that was an exciting opportunity to see how you’d one up yourself.

It was a shame that your partner would have to retire after only skating with you for a year and a half.

Well, it was a shame for you.

You kind of remind Sabito of a young child as he watches you skate. Filled with so much innocence and passion as you take to the ice.

Sabito, up to this point, hasn’t actually watched you skate. Of course he’s seen you skate through brief glances and highlights that they occasionally play on the television but he’s never actually stopped and waited to watch you skate before like he’s doing right now. Your movements are more fluid than he thought they were and the way you build up to your jumps is a little unorthodox but it seems to work as you soar through the air and spin.

A figure skater through and through.

“Oh, Sabito!” You jump slightly when you spot him leaning against the wall near the edge of the ice, watching you, “I didn’t notice. How long have you been there?”

Sabito feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he watches you skate towards him with a polite smile, “not long.”

Your cheeks flush, though from Sabito’s gaze or the cool air of the rink Sabito isn’t all too sure, “oh, do you want to skate?”

“Oh, no.” Sabito briefly looks down to the skates in his bag, “I just came back because I forgot my bag when I left earlier. I wasn’t expecting for anyone other than the janitor and security to be here.”

“The janitor crew usually finishes up around eight forty five.”

“And you’re still here?”

“Yeah.”

“Even after the coach told you to head home and to let your muscles rest?”

“You won’t snitch on me, will you? Coach said that I’ll be banned from late evening practice if she catches me skating late at night again.”

Your words bring a chuckle to Sabito’s lips, “and yet you’re still here?” From the fact that you’re here often enough to know when the janitorial staff usually finish up to the momentary panic you get when you discuss not being able to skate is more than enough for Sabito to tell how passionate you are about your profession.

You sheepishly scratch the back of your neck in response, “coach has a date tonight and the security staff and janitor crew like me enough to not tell coach.”

Sabito grins teasingly, “I suppose I won’t tell the coach.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” You smile brightly in response, “I’d be devastated if I got banned from practices again.”

“You love figure skating that much?” Sabito asks, a brow raised.

“Mm,” you give a little twirl as you ponder softly, “something like that.”

“I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?” You skate towards the railing separating the two of you lean against it, “why would you be jealous? We’re basically in the same position.”

Sabito finds your naive attitude strangely endearing, “there’s not many people that have as much as a passion for skating as you do. It’s honestly admirable.”

“Thank you,” you blush brightly looking away with an embarrassed smile on your face, “so are you planning to stay for a little while longer?”

“Well, I was planning on going home but I won’t mind staying a little longer.”

“Really?” You beam, “would you want to skate with me? There’s a few moves that I want to find out and I can’t really do them without a partner. I mean, you don’t have to skate with me if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you or anything but I would definitely be eternally grateful to you.”

Sabito feels as though his heart’s stopped as look at him eagerly, “you want me to skate with you?”

“Definitely! I watched you and your partner last year! The two of you were so in sync with one another! I could definitely feel the chemistry everytime you two took to the ice together. And the way you hold her so gently really goes to show how much the two of you trust one another while on the ice.” You blush as if suddenly realising what you’ve said.

Sabito’s own cheeks are flushed bright red as he stares at you.

He’d always thought you were a bit full of yourself if not a little aloof and standoffish when you talked to other figure skaters. But now, looking at you gushing and beaming over the simplest of things, Sabito feels as if his initial judgements might’ve been too harsh. Right now, you seem more like a playful and excitable girl that’s in love with figure skating instead of the stuck up prodigy that he’s pegged you to be up until now.

“Alright,” Sabito sighs as he takes a seat and begins to lace up his skates despite all of his muscles screaming for him to take a break, “I’ll skate with you.”

“Really!”

“But only for a bit.”

“Sounds good to me.” You say before skating off in excitement.

You twirl around on the ice in excitement that has Sabito chuckling slightly in amusement. He doubts he’s ever seen anyone as excited to skate as you.

How had he gotten such an impression of you in the first place? Sabito finds himself feeling a little bad for how bad he had thought of you before with most of his opinions and thoughts coming from what he had heard others say about you. It didn’t help that the impression you gave off to others was more rude and arrogant than the socially awkward person that Sabito saw you as now.

Slowly, after some brief stretching, Sabito steps out onto the ice, his skates fully laced up and his jacket left tossed on the ground.

You skate towards Sabito smoothly when you notice him, reminding him more of an eager puppy.

It’s cute.

You’re cute.

“What’re you thinking about trying out?” Sabito asks.

“Hmm, nothing too difficult. Maybe we could try out a few side by side jumps and…” you trail off.

“And?”

“A death spiral?”

Sabito laughs, “a death spiral? I thought you said you wanted to do something easy.”

“Okay, you’re right.” You blush brightly, “that was stupid. But we can try some side by side jumps, right?”

“Sure,” Sabito smiles softly, “let’s try it out.”

“I’m surprised you decided to skate with me.” You say, skating backwards as Sabito begins to find his bearings. He skates forward as he begins his usual warmups. Sabito finds it a little annoying how easy you make it seem as you traverse the rink as if it’s your second home but pushes his annoyance away. It’s not a feeling befitting of a man. Or just any person in general.

Sabito laughs, “what kind of man would I be if I were to deny a request from a young woman in need?”

You hum contemplatively, “I didn’t think you’d liked me very much.”

Sabito’s expression falters for a moment.

You weren’t exactly wrong.

He, truthfully, wasn’t your biggest fan. Not just had you come out of nowhere but you were three years his junior in terms of skating and a few more younger than him in age. It was honestly a little infuriating how someone so young and green could suddenly come up and win something he had been trying to win for ages.

Not only had Sabito taken silver in the doubles skating competition the year you won gold but his partner had subsequently chosen to retire after watching you skate. Sure, she was a few years past her prime but it was honestly a little infuriating that all those chemistry bonding practices had gone to waste. Now Sabito was left struggling to find someone to partner up with him in time for them to both develop chemistry and a good routine.

“I…” Sabito trails off.

You laugh softly, as you continue to skate backwards, “right on the money, huh?”

“You’re different.” Sabito says suddenly.

“Hm?” You tilt your head to the side cutely, “I’m different?”

“You’re different from when you’re on the ice to when you’re not.”

“Oh. Thank you?”

“You’re kind of like a child trying to impress their crush when you’re on the ice.”

You blush brightly in response, almost stumbling over yourself, “pardon?”

“You’re a lot brighter while on the ice. You command a lot more attention and have a larger presence in general.”

“A larger presence?”

“Um,” Sabito feels his cheeks heat up, “I guess it’s kind of like you shine while skating.”

“Thank you,” you smile brightly, “you’re the second person to have told me that.”

His treacherous heart skips a beat at your smile and he hopes you don’t notice the sweat in his hands as he gives you a nice and simple twirl.

The touch between the two of you feels almost electric and the movements come so nice and easily. Sabito wonders if this is how skating with another person is supposed to feel. He’s skated with many other people but nothing has ever felt quite like this. He suddenly finds himself understanding why the skating world seems so enamoured with you. Not just does everything feel suddenly easier but Sabito feels as though the world is at his fingertips.

“So,” Sabito begins, feeling butterflies begin to rouse in his stomach, “how has finding a new figure skating partner been?”

“Oh,” you look down to the ice, your face flushed red slightly, “it’s been going. How has it been going for you? You recently just got partnered up with…”

“We tried a few practices together,” Sabito begins, “but it ended up not working out very well.”

“No?”

“Yeah. We just didn’t really have a lot of chemistry with each other.”

You smile, “well I’m sure you’ll find someone that meshes well with you.”

Sabito twirls you around before pulling you close, “yeah.”

You look up at him surprised at his sudden movements.

“Have I ever told you that I think you’re pretty?” Sabito asks suddenly as he leans in close.

“Ah, no,” you look away with flushed cheeks and this time he’s sure isn’t because of the cold or you bring out of breath, “I don’t think so.”

“Well you are.”

“You’re pretty too.”

Sabito laughs, “ah, thank you~”

---

After an hour of skating with you Sabito relearns why it’s so important for athletes to take breaks. He most definitely is going to be sore beyond belief tomorrow morning. Despite only doing simple exercises you really managed to push him to the max with how you challenged him to increase the velocity or his turns to the frequency in which he completed his jumps.

He could definitely see why it was so hard for you to find someone to partner up with.

Despite being well intentioned you had the tendency to push people past their limits. And with how bright eyed you were, it made it difficult to say no. Not that Sabito would ever say no. He wouldn’t be able to call himself a man if he backed down from a challenge.

But his body would definitely be screaming at him later.

But how could he have known that he’d end up delaying his cool bath by an hour?

You, on the other hand, looked like you could keep skating forever. Not physically, of course, but even then Sabito suspected if anyone could it would have been you.

“So,” Sabito leaned against the wall, watching as you slowly unlaced your skates (having already unlaced his own a few minutes earlier), “do you want to grab a bite to eat with me?” Your lack of an immediate response caused Sabito to second guess himself, suddenly feeling embarrassed as he watched you slowly unlace your skates. Sabito begins to ramble in hopes of making himself look like less of a fool, “I mean, you definitely don't have to if you don’t want to. I totally get it. There’s not a lot of places open right now and it’s not like we’re that close anyways. I could end up being a total weirdo. Not that I am a weirdo of course it’s just that-”

You cut him off with a small laugh, “don’t worry. I don’t think you’re a weirdo, I was just a little lost in my own thoughts. I’d love to go out to eat. What did you have in mind?”

“Well there’s the bar down the street that serves food if you’re up for it. Or there’s truck food if you’re up for it. I know that truck food isn’t actually good for your diet but…”

“Take me wherever you’d like.” You smile in a way that makes Sabito’s heart start to race, “I’m not a picky eater. You should pick the place we go out since you’re the one that agreed to skate with me despite being sore.”

“You noticed?”

You tilt your head to the side, “don’t most people?”

“No,” Sabito laughs heartily, “definitely not. Just you, sweetheart.”

You blush brightly in response, “is it weird?”

“No. I actually find it rather endearing.”

You visibly brighten at his words.

“It’s pretty neat that you notice those kinds of things about the person you’re skating with. I’m sure whoever your skating partner ends up being will be a very lucky person. You’re a gold medalist afterall” Sabito added, nudging you playfully as you sling your bag over your shoulder.

“I’m sure whoever your partner ends up being will be really lucky too!” You say, “you’re a… silver medalist?”

“Wow.” Sabito says dryly, a smile on his face, “way to rub it in.”

“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it! I really do think you’re an incredible skater!”

“I’m only teasing, sweetheart.”

“Oh.”

Sabito nudges you lightly again before opening the door to the building and letting you out before him, “so do you have early morning practice tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “you?”

“Mhm. Do you wanna partner up with me tomorrow?”

“Really?” You practically bounce in excitement, “you want to partner up with me?”

“Well it’s certainly worth a try, right? We did well today so I don’t see any harm in seeing how we mesh tomorrow.”

“You won’t tell the coach about tonight though, right?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head off, sweetheart. I won’t.”

“Oh, thank goodness! The last thing I need to do is be banned from the ice again.”

“The season just began.”

“Well you never know,” you begin, “last time it was nearing competition time when the coach banned me from the night hours on the ice because I wanted to switch up the ending of the routine.”

“I mean, that’s kind of reasonable.”

You pout, “you’re supposed to be on my side, Sabito.”

“I am,” he chuckles, “I just also happen to see reason.”

“I’m reasonable.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Whatever you say.”

“I am!” You exclaim, crossing your arms like an angry child.

“Anyways,” Sabito smiles warmly, “I’m falling in love with you.”

Fall in love by overcoming your preconceived notions of someone.

---

Her: Are you sure you love me?

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #sabito x reader #100 ways to fall in love

[macaroni-rascal]

Montreal Worlds 2024 Day 2&3

HOLY WOW! What a couple days that was. This is going to be a wild ramble and bullet point list of things that I can remember and stick out in the onslaught of skating that I've seen in the past 48 hours. It's also 11:30pm, so bear with me.

MEN'S SHORT

Roman clean program? In front of me and God and all of Montreal? Utterly wild, so exciting in the building.

Aleksandr Selevko is such a force, I enjoyed his skate SO much, what a magnetic skater.

JASON BROWN. What a serve, he is so beloved, you could just tell the whole crowd was so behind him and love him so much, it was such a stunning piece of skating.

The announcer's saying Lukas Britschgi instead of Deniss was so hilarious, and he had a lovely skate to boot.

Speaking of Lukas, LOVED him, he's so fun.

YUMAAAAAAAA. That is all.

Shoma Uno made me cry and he needs to pay for emotional damages, he had such a good warm up I was buzzing and kept excitedly hitting my friend's knee whenever he landed another clean jump. QUAD TOE TRIPLE TOE!

Ilia was there.

PAIRS FREE PROGRAM

DEANNA STELLATO THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. The fact that she normally has such an intense reaction post good skate, but instead this time she just leaned forward, half crying, going 'oh my god' made me cry too. The roof blew off the fucking place. It was a singular moment in my life. I am just so unbelievably happy for her and all that she has achieved. Max was so good, so steady, so fucking wonderful. I am in awe of this team.

Glad M/K went back to that free program, a shame about her doubling, and wow did she ever take it hard. It's definitely their best program, for the love of God Bruno Marcotte STOP LETTING YOUR FUCKING SISTER CHOREOGRAPH EVERY SINGLE PROGRAM. DON'T ME COME TO OAKVILLE! I'LL DO IT!

So so happy for Hase and Volodin, they had such a lovely skate, a very well deserved medal, they've had such momentum all season.

Moment of silence of Conti and Macii, that was rough.

Pairs in person made me age about 15 years, so if I have grey hair in the coming months, I know who to blame. Holy shit, it's exhilarating but also tense as hell. I loved it!

RHYTHM DANCE

Hannah Lim, you're a fucking star.

Mrazkes are deeply underwhelming, like wow, they skate very small.

Lopareva and Brissaud also skate very very small. I kept looking up at the time thinking the program would be over and it wasn't. Not a fan at all.

Cpom CRUSHED IT and it was so awesome to see.

LAJOIE AND LAGHA MY LOVES! Easily the performance of the night, and not even close. So glad they got here after battling injury, so proud of them.

Gilles and Poirier are slooooooooooow. Very slow. Maybe the slowest of the last two groups. It's glaring. How have they not worked on this? They also skate small.

Guignard and Fabbri had a good lift, and a cringe everything else.

I just watched Evan during their performance and wow does he do not a lot. It's the Madi show and he's barely a supporting actor.

Fear and Gibson were there.

WOMEN'S FREE

KAORI KAORI KAORI KAORI.

Besides her heinous jumps, Isabeau created a moment, and it was lovely to experience.

Big ups to Chaeyon Kim for a solid, if boring and slightly cold, free skate. On this night, a well deserved bronze.

Leona, oh Leona. The whole crowd deflated when she fell. Such a shame.

OKAY SO CUTE MOMENT! So Kimmy Repond's dad was sitting ldown and across from me two rows, he was about 4 feet from me. I didn't know he was her dad at the start, but I knew by the end, because he was SO dad about the whole skate. Then when she skated clean, he jumped up, a man below me went and shook his hand and went "Are you her dad?" and he got tears in his eyes, put his hand on his chest, and went 'She is my daughter." I just about sobbed my brains out. So beautiful. He then didn't clap once for the next Swiss skater, which I do not fault him for, major dad behaviour.

Moment of silence for Amber Glenn.

Josefin Taljegard, I love you.

GENERAL THOUGHTS

The people around me and I all started chatting about 30 minutes into the women's free skate, by the end of it, I would go to war for all of them. Camaraderie between skating fans is very fun.

Still a giant fuck you to the woman who asked me if NikS. raped me when I pointed out to my friend he shouldn't be competing, special place in hell for you, you hot garbage person.

I got very cold during the women's free, got a hot chocolate, it wasn't good, but it saved my life, and for that I thank it.

Accidentally got up late (9:36am for a rendez vous at 10am) for breakfast with my brother, still arrived at 10:01am, I am a superhero.

Still fuck the seats in the venue, they need about 4 inches on all sides to be even remotely comfortable, including 4 more inches of leg room. We are humans, not dead sardines, for the love of GOD.

Kaori's speed and power made me gasp a few times.

I can't remember anything else but I know other things happened, ah well, it's almost midnight, I ordered late night pizza take out like a boss, I'm gonna eat that, unwind, and hopefully sleep more than four hours.

GODSPEED!

#konner talks skating #long ass post #i just rambled my thoughts out #tw rape

[jjkeremika]

all or (Formula) n(One)

chapter three: Saudi Arabia Grand Prix

ch1; ch2

ferrari driver! eren jaeger x mechanic/engineer! mikasa ackerman

description: “Welcome to the 2024 Formula One Saudi Arabia Grand Prix. For those who are just joining in, what we are currently watching is the new lead mechanic at Ferrari physically signing the scarlet chassis of their newest and youngest driver, Eren Jaeger.”

“For the second time this season too, Martin, and based on those extraordinary results from Bahrain, if I were a betting man, I’d bet we will see that MKA signature paired with that driver number 139 racing for every podium this season.”

tag/disclaimer(s): written as camera angles and commentary between radio hosts (Alex and Martin); eremika (Ferrari driver! eren x mechanic! mikasa); friends to lovers dynamic

**Race Day, Saudi Arabia Grand Prix**

“It is a gorgeous night all the way from Jeddah. The camera showcasing a beautiful view of the four year old circuit under the flood lights as we prepare for the final event of the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix.”

“Quite right about it being gorgeous conditions, Martin, the track’s not too hot, there’s no forecast of rain, lots of space for DRS. I think we are about to have one of the best races for the young circuit.”

*all cars are undergoing the formation lap. the driver lineup and the grid are shown to the side of the live view*

“It was a tight qualifying yesterday for the top ten, all those drivers are very eager and hungry for some points during today’s race. In tenth place there we have the young Armin Arlet in his second season in the Williams, his best ever qualifying position in Formula One. Right in ninth is his more experienced teammate Connie Springer in the other Williams.”

“Jean Kirstein is having a tough time in that Mercedes this season, pulling a qualifying position of eighth. The worst starting position for his career. And right in hand with Kirstein, we have Erwin Smith starting seventh in the McLaren after facing a gearbox penalty, his worst start in about a decade.”

“Smith is going to have to push hard during this race to skate past that the row in front. On that row we have Bertoldt Hoover in the RB Honda in sixth, the best starting position of his career and for RB Honda this season.”

“It’s almost a shame, Martin, that timid Hoover is sandwiched between Smith and Porco Galliard in that scarlet Ferrari in fifth.”

“It’ll make for an epic start, Alex. To add to the excitement, we have a driver returning to Formula One after an off-season sitting in the other McLaren this Grand Prix: Zeke Jaeger, in fourth. Substituting in for Flock as he’s out for an undetermined amount of time with a pretty severe appendicitis infection.”

“That’s tough for Flock, can only hope for the speediest of recoveries—but, man, is it good to see Zeke back in a seat for this season. And even more, it’ll make for an interesting race today as we have his very own younger and arguably more successful brother in the fiery Ferrari in third.”

“I wonder if it was indeed his brother’s success in winning the first Grand Prix of the season that really inspired Zeke to come back into the sport. The orange McLaren no less. I believe he mentioned a soft retirement, but there’s nothing soft about him in that McLaren on those hard compact tires, that’s for sure.”

“It’ll be a family reunion to remember as Eren Jaeger starts in the same row. An elegant start to this race weekend after shocking the world and winning his first Grand Prix in Bahrain.”

**camera zooms in on the front of the Ferrari car 139, the MKA circled signature neatly displayed. camera zooms in on helmeted Eren Jaeger in the seat, pulling his visor down and waving. the crowd cheers**

“I mean, listen to that loud Ferrari cheer. Possibly the most dedicated fan base in the sport.”

Alex laughs. “Well, Martin, are they Ferrari fans or Jaeger fans? With third on the grid today, I’m assuming he’s looking for a repeat victory.” He pauses and returns to the grid order. “Topping off the grid we’ve got another Redbull 1, 2, with Reiner Braun in first and Levi Ackerman in second.”

**cars lining into position after the formation lap. camera focuses on safety car lining up behind. lights turn on in ascending order**

“You can see the sweat on that Redbull team principal’s brow as you just know Ackerman is itching to beat his teammate this season—2023 world champion Reiner Braun—when perhaps the real competition is in his rear-view mirror.”

**five lights go out. cars start down the straight towards the first corner**

“That’s lights out as we have now begun the first lap as Braun maintains the lead with yet another brilliant start. Ackerman and the Jaeger brothers extremely close behind with great starts themselves.”

“This’ll be really quite thrilling, Martin, having two brothers racing against each other for opposite teams in the paddock. I’m not sure that’s ever happened before.”

“If my formula two, three, and four history is correct, these brothers have never professionally raced each other outside of karts.”

“Honestly, Martin, I’m just glad to see Zeke back in a seat after being replaced by veteran Miche Zacharius, who started and is currently keeping that Mercedes in fifteenth position.”

*drones follow the group of four cars (Smith, Hoover, Galliard, and Zeke) as they clump around the corner. Zeke pulls away from Galliard, but Smith passes Hoover).

“From all appearances, so he is. Look at the way Zeke is defending that fourth position from Galliard in the second Ferrari. An excellent defense from the older driver, who is now leading off into the first DRS zone.”

“And what a great maneuver by Smith back at turn 4, going around the inside of Hoover who just hasn’t felt out that RB Honda enough to defend that sixth place position.”

“Look at how that McLaren speeds down those straights even without DRS enabled, Alex. You can see it with Smith, and you can see it again with Zeke as the camera brings us back to the driver entering his first Grand Prix with McLaren after a successful two seasons with Mercedes.”

*drones follow Zeke in the orange McLaren. Porco is close behind in the other Ferrari.*

“I wonder if he’s starting to sweat, sandwiched between two Ferrari’s. One of them Eren Jaeger, no less, who’s off to a brilliant start for the race.”

*camera cuts to eagle-eye view of Eren Jaeger in Ferrari car 139, close to the Redbull in front.”

“And what’s remarkable, Alex, is the sight of that MKA from up above.”

“It’s like I’m pavlov-trained, Martin, I get excited just seeing it! A visual confirmation of a podium-worthy car. A competitive, championship-worthy chassis.”

Martin chuckles. “Assuming no one bumps or crashes into him. Let’s check in with his radio:”

*Ferrari radio to Eren Jaeger goes off.*

“Eren, Zeke in the McLaren is 1 second behind. 1 second behind,” the race engineer informs.

“I don’t give a fuck about Zeke. What about the redbull?” Eren’s voice is still audible despite the static and helmet.

“We are 0.5 seconds behind Ackerman, 2.5 seconds behind Braun.”

*camera follows Ferrari car number 139 around the track as it heads down the straight, into a DRS zone*

Martin’s laughing. “What we just heard is Ferrari’s race engineer telling Jaeger, ‘look, our battle is with the McLaren behind us that’s about to barrel down that straight.’ With Jaeger saying, ‘No. My pace is good, this car is good. My race is with the Redbulls ahead.’”

“You have to admire the tenacity of the young drivers now, Martin, they grew up in these faster karts, racing each other, chasing for these podiums. It’s especially true for these two brothers.”

“Well, Alex, I do wonder if perhaps it is because that McLaren is operated by his brother that Eren dismissed the team’s strategy so openly.”

*lap 35. drones follow Ferrari car 139 as it chases behind the Ackerman in the Redbull. The orange McLaren is extremely close behind the Ferrari*

“We are about to see the battle for third podium position as the Jaeger brothers exit turn 23 into the third DRS zone.”

“That McLaren is doing surprisingly well on those old tires keeping up with that MKA Ferrari. Eren cuts the corner slightly early to defend from Zeke, and ends up oversteering maybe a tad too much into turn 24.”

“McLaren fans everywhere hoping the younger driver left an opening for the veteran to slip through. Both cars are enabling DRS as Zeke tilts to the outside to go the long way around the scarlet chassis.”

*the orange and red cars barrel down the straight towards turn 26. The nose of the McLaren is starting to inch ahead*

“There’s something no team has been able to match this season or last season, Martin, and that is McLaren’s ability to reduce that drag and speed down a straight. Look at how that orange McLaren is nosing ahead.”

“Eren Jaeger is pushing that Ferrari hard to keep that space between the McLaren and the edge of the track and—oh!”

*Zeke cuts the corner early, tries to force Eren onto the brakes to convince him to back down and fall back into fourth position.*

*Eren doesn’t brake or turn in time. The Ferrari drives over the top of the McLaren halo. The bottom of the Ferrari gets caught on the front of the McLaren chassis. Both cars skid off the track into the barrier. Both cars are DNF (did not finish) and are retired from the race*

“With Zeke’s sudden turn there, that Ferrari had a front wheel lockup and ran right over the top of that McLaren. With only 15 laps to go, Eren and Zeke Jaeger are out of the race!”

*Ferrari car radio:*

“Eren, are you okay?” It’s Mikasa asking instead of his race engineer.

“For fucks sake!” Eren groans and hits the steering wheel in frustration. “He pushed me off the track! Left me no fucking room!”

“Yeah, I agree. Vasseur is talking to the stewards now.”

Eren scoffs at the situation. “Sorry about the car.”

She chortles. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll make a new one.”

*camera focuses on Eren hopping out of the car and walking over to the McLaren. Zeke makes his way out of the car around the same time Eren stalked over to the McLaren driver’s seat.*

*McLaren car radio:*

“Zeke, you okay?” the race engineer asks.

Zeke ignores the race engineer and shouts to Eren instead. Pointing aggressively. “You fucking asshole! Were you even thinking?!”

*Zeke shoves Eren on the side of the track. Both still have their helmets on. Eren reciprocates the shove*

*Heard over Eren’s microphone.*

“That’s what fucking happens when you don’t make room!”

*Heard over Zeke’s microphone*

“Learn to fucking drive!”

*drones pan out over the wreckage*

“For those of us listening in, what we just witnessed was— Well, what exactly did we just witness, Martin?”

“While we await to hear an official verdict from the stewards, but from up here it seems like Zeke tried to push his younger brother off the track. A move that resulted in both of them being out of the second Grand Prix of the year.”

“Thank goodness they’ve both walked away just from that accident, Martin.”

Martin chuckles. “Yes, it’s great they walked away from the crash but now the two brothers are being pulled apart off the track. Look at how Eren Jaeger is being dragged and sent walking back to the paddock.”

“Definitely needed a cool-off lap. I’m sure he was intent on winning this Grand Prix too and now that opportunity has been lost. Stolen from him one could say, along with all those championship points he could’ve scored.”

“As if tensions weren’t high enough in the family, with Zeke being dropped by Mercedes the same year Eren is picked up by Ferrari. now the two have crashed into each other and prevented both from finishing the race.”

“Well, Martin, a shame for those two drivers but you can practically hear the smile and wave from Smith and Galliard as they now pass the wreckage and have that chance to fight for that podium.”

#eremika fluff #eremika au #formula one au #jjkeremika #eremika fic cabin #eren jaeger #eremika #eren x mikasa #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan eremika #shingeki no kyojin eremika #eremika fic #eremika fanfic

[eggplantgifs]

Welcome back from Skate Canada! What a great comp to get to watch live! Would you mind sharing your personal highlights?

not at all! i was thinking of making a thread on twitter but actually it's better to just put all my thoughts in one post here haha. i'll do my best to record some thoughts before i forget.

women:

it was wonderful to see rika, i really hope her injury is getting better and she takes it easy until nationals. her skating is very lovely and polished. i was feeling kind of stressed about her jumps before the competition but she was great in the free! the titanic program is good for her. i'm happy she got the highest PCS of the free skate.

rinka was really solid in general, i'm thrilled for her amazing gp debut. to think she started out with no gp assignments at all! her spins could use some work and i would have liked to see more speed in her step sequences but i think she'll get there. i love her tight air position on the 3A.

really happy for starr, i haven't seen her skate that well in a long time and i'm happy she medaled. would also like to see more speed and ice coverage from her.

young kind of got hosed by the judges, personally i would have given her silver here. i love her short program, the detail in her step sequence is fantastic. i don't like her fs as much, it doesn't stand out to me but maybe it will grow on me.

(horrifically embarrassing moment when the announcer announced young as "from japan" in the medal ceremony. the gasps of "NO" from the audience... yikes! anyway the girls were all really popular and went around after the medal ceremony signing autographs and taking photos with fans, eventually the announcer had to ask them to leave the ice so the zamboni could come out lol.)

i felt really bad for maddie schizas and the flower holder situation. that was stressful. i saw some flowers falling apart once they hit the ice as well. brings me back to 2017 skate america and the dead flies on the ice, but at least those weren’t going to trip anybody.

in general, the women's event was very "what just happened here" - we don't usually see this much movement in standings between the sp and fs in this discipline! otoh it's kind of cool to not be able to predict the results. few other performances i enjoyed include: ava ziegler (she's quite expressive), niina petrokina (interesting programs), yuhana yokoi's fs (her 2As are super airy...but oh, why must she always bomb the sp), lindsay thorngren's spins.

ice dance:

i like ice dance but am useless at figuring out scoring, so basically just going by vibes here.

lajoie/lagha were the revelation of the competition for me, i became a fan after watching them live. i was zoning out a bit during the rhythm dance (most of the RDs this season are just...not very interesting to me) until lala - they have amazing energy and a really fun program! they skate big and fast and just fill up the rink.

green/parsons are great skaters (especially michael) but i am not feeling their programs this season at all, which is a bit of a shame because i loved them last season. but since they just changed coaches, i’m sure it will take a while to adjust to the new training environment; hoping for the best for them. they had a hilarious exhibition, do check it out if you haven’t.

fear/gibson - lewis always looks like he’s having a great time out there and i enjoy that.

gilles/poirier - i think i like their free dance? although it does have a lot of music cuts. paul’s skating skills are A+.

pairs:

i love miura/kihara SO MUCH. they skate with so much passion and joy and just look like they’re having the time of their lives out there. the quality of their skating compared to the rest of the field was really, really obvious. they were by far the fastest team with the best skating skills and most stable pairs elements. big throws, fast and effortless lifts that covered a lot of ice. i’m still astounded that they’ve improved this much in only a few years. i’m really happy they won here, especially considering riku’s injury and the fact that they’ve only been doing runthroughs of their free for a few weeks (!!!) manifesting a world title for them this season, please gods give me this.

also enjoyed: chan/howe, sitting in the twist corner so we could see all the twists up close

men:

the men’s sp aged me about 50 years. so...many...pops...and falls...six skaters scored below 70. i think we were all a bit catatonic by the end of day 1. luckily the men (mostly) redeemed themselves in the free, and it was a good event to end on.

the energy in the arena exploded after keegan’s skate, and i can see why. he’s just fun to watch! he’s extremely fast, skates super close to the boards, and doesn’t do anything halfway. even his mistakes are dramatic - i thought he was going to go flying over the boards after saving a 3A - but for his last season, he had a great free skate to end his last skate canada.

i was worried about matteo, but he delivered one of the cleanest skates of the night! i can’t believe he landed the 4Lo, because he was popping all of them in practice. really happy for his medal. he’s so charming and i became a bigger fan after seeing him. the audience gave him lots of love after his free, which was good because it was very dead during the sp.

poor kao broke his lace during the free skate warmup, came back out with 20 seconds to go and landed a 4T right before the warmup ended. this kid. he was rock solid in all the practices and had the only clean skate in the sp, so honestly thanks for that. i love his speed and power, he goes into his jumps with no hesitation at all. just jaw-dropping quality jumps. he’s rough around the edges but has lots of potential. i’ll even forgive him for the beauty and the beast music because he’s only 17 and it’s cheesy in a good way. also proud of him for not getting level 2 spins this time.

also enjoyed: shoma’s free (shows his good qualities well), camden (he’s just nice to watch, jumps be damned), deniss’s exhibition (one of the few interesting exhibitions in the whole gala)

general thoughts:

audience tended to be pretty canadian-centric when it came to cheering, but shoma, miura/kihara, and rika got the loudest cheers after the canadian skaters.

the food is some of the worst i’ve had in an arena, and my standards are not high to begin with! all the water fountains were out of order as well. the only good thing was that security never checked anyone’s bags, so we ended up smuggling in food and ordering out.

not sure if this could be heard on the livestream but there was an extremely loud, squeaky noise whenever the rink’s A/C turned on. it was unbearably annoying but also unintentionally hilarious at times - like when a skater was doing a spin or step sequence and the A/C would make their skates sound like a speeding car skidding on a road.

overall it was a fun weekend! but also exhausting haha. i haven’t been to a skating competition in several years so it was great just to see live skating again. my favorite thing about live skating is the sense of speed and ice coverage that is completely different from watching on a screen - and of course, the audience reaction to a good performance. there’s really no replacing that feeling.

#SC 2022 #replies

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

Re: last anon, No, Fantasy on Ice isn't for retired skaters only, but you can notice certain patterns of who are the MALE, ACTIVE, SINGLES skaters they invite. Notice how Kao isn't invited this summer (he was last year). Notice how Shoma isn't invited since 2017. Fantasy on Ice only invites men (especially Japanese) who Yuzuru fans are less likely to be hostile to or feel insecure about, for the best of everyone to be honest. Shoma was received really coldly the last time he went in 2017, his Japanese fans still remember that. It's just a different audience from other shows. Like you don't see Shoma fans at The ICE mass insulting and giving backhanded comments on SNS to Nathan or vice versa, which was what happened to Shoma in SOI 2023 especially in the early shows when he was just landing 2A and 3S, implying he doesn't care about fans or shows by only jumping easy jumps (despite news of him getting injured at Worlds). Only in the later SOI shows when Shoma landed 4T and 3A (and after the One Piece on Ice news broke) the comments got a bit more even and fair to Shoma (and the fans who insulted him got busy insulting Kenta Kojiri who went to SOI and was disappointed that Yuzu was skating Ashura-chan instead of his more skating-oriented programs).

⬆️Here you have some additional information @anon!

____

Just saying in the audience I was in Osaka at SOI 1/4/2023 I didn't notice anyone being openly disrespectful towards any skater. You just could see that ppl were fans of different skaters. Some waved a Shoma banner, some a Yuzu banner, some a Kazuki banner or other banners of other skaters and different flags. The audience weren't all Yuzu fans either. As not everyone was giving Yuzu a standing ovation you could very well tell apart who's his fan and who isn't, same goes for every other skater there. So actually from my perspective it looked like a wildly mixed audience who all cared for different skaters. In my experience hostility is often used on sns and hardly directed at the skaters in the moment of the show. Not saying negativity doesn't reach the skaters anyway but at least not like this.

And y'all know more fans = more bad fans too...sorry but that's the truth...as Yuzu has the most...well...(this should not be an excuse for bad behavior just why objectively bad behavior is exponentially high with Fanyus BUT also bc it is sadly kind of popular to be an a**hole among Fanyus...sorry not sorry)

@rabidline Not sure if that comparison you used about Nathan at the Ice is a good one as Nathan is liked among Shoma fans a lot (and I feel like always was well appreciated) and Yuzu is not by a majority of Shoma fans. Who knows how the Shoma fans reaction would be? I don't think Yuzu would be welcomed by them at the ICE either...I don't think we will know though as this won't happen...so who knows 🤷‍♀️

Anyway Yuzu and Shoma in one ice show can be difficult which is a shame bc it should not be like that.

___

I actually don't follow any of the fan "discourse" or dissing or whatever discourse there is online from Yuzu or Shoma fans against each other since Worlds so can't say anything about it.

It's definitely for the better to not care about any fans. Never felt more at peace myself when I just don't read and don't care. I highly recommend not giving a fck. Was a long road to here and probably one that starts to waver once the actual competition season starts again...but whatever makes you feel peace DO IT...none of this fandom or any of the skaters is worth it tbh

#replies #or more like additional remarks #shoma uno #and additional ranting not directed at rabidline ofc who just gave more context #I feel like i am at a farewell point to the fandom...i just post what i like and watch what i like and that's it #at least for the off-season #I wonder how long this 'do not care' for myself will hold up but that's feeling good so far

[kitnita]

how does his season of the bachelorette play out?

SO he's competing for the heart of kelsie (a 26 year old second grade teacher from wisconsin who was runner-up in the previous season of the bachelor because it was kind of a coin flip for jacob (27, small business owner (he runs a crossfit gym)); he preferred blondes and kelsie was one of six brunettes that season who didn't have a head full of blonde highlights so he said it was a really hard decision but privately that's kind of what it came down to; him and his final pick break up while kelsie's season is airing). jake Did Not sign up to go on the show himself — his older brother & sister nominated him one night after they all got drunk hanging out and when the show reached out they convinced him to say yes to going on.

kelsie's whole thing in interviews after being named the bachelorette was saying that she knows she'll be able to keep the men in line 'because as a second grade teacher she's used to being on her toes!' except the show took that as a challenge and her cast was mostly comprised of just the most volatile mix of personalities they could find.

a lot of viewers found jake kind of bland for the first half of the season; a nice midwestern guy who stayed out of drama, had sweet enough moments with kelsie, and didn't make funny reaction faces for the editing team to splice in as it aired.

he had a twitter-beloved bromance with the guy who would go on to become kelsie's final pick (kameron with a k, a 26 year old wedding photographer from florida. production used the two of them hanging out as their chill guy b-roll while the rest of the men devolved into pvp warfare) & as the show went on he opened up about the injury that ended his hockey career while he was at BU. kelsie was a college volleyball player 'and could, like, totally relate!'

mostly she liked that he used his post-injury communications degree to work as a communications director for a junior hockey team 'because it meant that they both liked working with kids!'

(the show listed his job title as 'sports information director')

he had his second one-on-one before hometowns, where viewers fell in love with him because him and kelsie went ice-skating with his younger brother for the day portion of the date. most people thought she was going to dump him here because she didn't seem that into him romantically compared to some other guys, but robbie (27, job listed as 'crypto guy') had an absolutely abysmal hometown date wherein kelsie felt attacked & like robbie didn't stick up for her, and also robbie's sister-in-law was basically like Yeah They're Just Like This.

by fantasy suite week it was pretty clear who kelsie's two frontrunners were (kameron with a k & miles, 28, a travel agent) BUT there ended up being some drama between her & them re: Did They Use The Fantasy Suites To Fuck Or What so she sent jake home separate from a rose ceremony.

in his limo exit interview jake looked stoically out the window and was pretty much like, sometimes it hurts worse to lose your dreams in a really understandable way, because you run out of arguments with the universe and start to wonder if you’re not meant to get what you want. etc etc etc.

so basically everyone fell in love w him at his hometown and he was a cute, unproblematic guy who had kelsie’s stamp of approval during the rest of the season + an appropriately bittersweet limo exit. public opinion soured a little bit on both kameron AND miles after their fantasy suite debacle because the world 'slut shaming' got tossed around, no one wanted robbie after seeing his family, and the rest of the guys were either blander than jake or actual scum who no one would root for.

so jake was the fan favorite to get named bachelor almost by default and really production’s only pick if they wanted a guy from this season. he didn't actually fall in love w kelsie but he liked her fine and the process did make him start thinking that he Wanted a big, serious, fall-in-love forever relationship.

jason was the producer assigned to jake, because nick in this universe is still a maple leafs prospect & jason himself still played hockey to a certain point before also stopping, so all the other producers was hoping they'd Bond. jason began to genuinely like jake as a person and was glad he made jason’s life relatively easy by not getting into any shit jason would need to dig into for the show. also, by not having any old racist tweets for the fans to unearth.

jason being so chill was part of the reason jake accepted the bachelor position — he trusted him to keep things chill again. & then the plot of the fic itself will Follow From There!

#replies #rpf talk #this is. insanely long rip #his limo entrance did in fact involve a one liner about jakes being better than jacobs #and there was a funny/cute moment later on in the season #where he 'revealed' that his name is actually jakob

[ppjeterka]

stealth-hot anon again

you are SO right not a single one of the Sabres is pulling off that Leon Draisaitl smirk, like I'm sorry that man smolders and the Sabres, while very cute, would look like they're just super excited to play a game! None of them are making Connor Bedard reconsider his career and whether it might not be better to just drop to his knees right there if you know what I'm saying.

ugh I feel you with the curse of liking a team that's not super fandom popular... the thing is, I think they will be eventually, but there's definitely ways to speed things up!! obvi reblogging all the videos. All the gifsets. All the gifts that Sabres social media has given us (I think they might be the best in the league at that, like the between 2 stalls series is hilarious, and they let this child-team show some personality which is hard to come by in the hockey world.) Fanart helps, obvs, though I say this as someone who cannot make it. and, unfortunately, fanfic... like sometimes it's a case of drumming up interest with the Narratives and letting the audience build from there which is obvi. V annoying. But also are there any compelling narratives now?? As a longtime Jonathan Drouin-Nathan MacKinnon shipper, the narratives were definitely there, they had all this history, and then it just fell into place this past summer and it took a little while (and some good on-ice performances), but people are getting into it again. Are there any guys like that? (I think Bo Byram and... Cozens, maybe? Is that right?) If there are videos or interviews of that, that is also vvvvv compelling, even if I'm not into the ship it does make me curious to know more about a relationship in general. Owen Power was on one of those very homoerotic college teams, right, does he have any teammates nearby? JJ Peterka and Jack Quinn have excellent chemistry and the Sabres social media know it, which I appreciate. And then there are the individual personalities. Dahlin's aquarium video was hilarious. Tage Thompson might not have a personality (he very well could I just haven't seen one yet) but he is an excellent artist. And Jeff Skinner. We cannot sleep on Jeff Skinner. He is an absolute fandom goldmine, from the figure skating past to the very real personality to the fact that he's def a cutie (appeal to the more mature folk! and everyone else!) to the fact that he's got the NHL record for most games played without a playoff appearance (poor dude), he's a compelling dude and how could you NOT root for him.

stealth-hot anon yay hello again!!!!!!

unfortunately the sabres are doomed by the narrative :(( I wasn't really a big fan of them last year, but I get the sense that they were actually a really fun team to watch (high scoring, promising young talent, admittedly questionable goaltending) and thus the vibes (and filmed content!!) popped off. Then this year started shit and decidedly unfun and killed the vibes that were cultivated last year :( Dylan Cozen's been kind of cold all year, Tage has been alternately injured and/or underperforming, and it doesn't help that Jack Quinn's been out of the lineup for the majority of the season (but it seems like he's coming back soon!), so there hasn't been nearly the same amount of fun off-ice content for fans to sink their teeth into this year...that said, I have faith for next year!!

as for interpersonal player narratives...dylan/bo definitely has good potential but i think the air of tragedy that still clings to the trade needs some time to clear LOL

"Owen Power was on one of those very homoerotic college teams, right," LMAOOOO I'm not really into NCAA fan/shipping culture, but I know Owen and Kent Johnson is/was a pretty big self-sustaining thing? Might need to look into the state that ship is in...

And JJ and Jack. Now that's a duo. Every video they're in together is simply incredible, I have no shame in admitting I've watched all of them more times than I can recall. I think I have 2? 3? WIPs going for them rn?

But yeah, shipping aside, they're just an extremely charming team with great group chemistry and individual personalities. I won't stop clocking into my shift at the sabres fandom mines to get more people to let the light into their lives🫡

#stealth-hot anon always a pleasure to speak with you!!! #asks #anonymous

[anewbeginningagain]

See, I'd like to believe they'd have the decency to retire after this, but as I said about the other stuff, I think that if Skate Canada doesn't at least suspend him, he'll keep going in whatever capacity he can. SC suspends individuals as members, regardless of whether they're athletes or coaches.

To FB/S mind, retiring would be an admission of guilt, and couple that with the fact that he probably doesn't have a fallback career, I think they'll be brazen enough to push for Milan, unless an external force acts upon them. He simply doesn't have any other source of income outside of skating afaik, although the allegations might work in his favor if he decides to go into knife-making full time /s. I actually don't have faith that nobody will hire him as a coach after this, we just saw Josee win 4CC when she literally broke Julianne and had a whole ass book written about her being abusive, and people kept sending their kids to Callahan for years. There was that whole kerfuffle about Joanna in BC but there she was with Aleksa at the Nationals, getting a medal. Don't even get me started on Delilah. There are coaches around the world who you'd think nobody would hire, but all some people see are medals. I mean, I could absolutely see N moving to France and coaching there since he speaks the language and their record on these matters is abysmal.

That's what I meant under them making an emotional decision to support him - they just can't wrap their heads around this person who they've known for so long being capable of something like this, which is understandable to a degree. The part that I don't get is their willingness to take the reputational hit. They're too close to the situation to be making rational business decisions, it seems. Tbh on a certain level I'm interpreting this as hubris, like they think they're too big to fail and whatever they say goes. They could've at the very least put their foot down and advised them to pull out of competition until the matter is resolved, but they're doing the opposite, they're putting their full weight behind them. Another element is that it's other teams of theirs that are losing out in this whole situation - younger teams with more long-term potential. I don't know how they can look Alicia in Paul in the eye, especially after everything they've been through. What happens if teams start leaving them? What happens if other teams sue them? Why is nobody talking about that? If you were a parent, would you keep pouring tens of thousands of dollars into your kid's training, only to see a rapist sent to major competitions over them?

About Scott, even if this hadn't come out, I don't think FB/S would've been willing to leave Montreal and would've only visited. I'm a pessimist and I think that if N doesn't get suspended by the powers that be, IAM will find a way to keep him on their payroll, even if it's in an off-ice, WFH, managerial role. That's what depresses me. This is what happens in skating - people close ranks. Remember what Lavoie said in Gauthier's trial - it's a shame for someone with that kind of skating knowledge to be working at a pizzeria and that he'd un-ban him if he could. Could you imagine? This man is the VP of the ISU. This is how these people think, nevermind the child that guy molested. There's no moral code there, only status and relationships. It's not the real world, it's a bubble. That's why I don't have faith they'll fix the issues from within - it has to come from outside and from above. That's why we have to keep applying pressure.

I think that was the plan they hinted at all along. I also think that physically they don't have it in them to push for two more years, especially him with his knees and back. They will have to face the post-retirement reality at some point and both don't strike me as people who would be able to stay in the negative spotlight for too long, and as we've seen this season they definitely don't strive under it. As they've been basically saying for a while now that it's unlikely they will continue post Montreal worlds I don't think it will be perceived as an admission of guilt, especially as there's an active investigation + both came out with statements denying the accusations.

At this point, I don't think I.AM are taking a reputational hit. Sure, fs fandom is leaving pissed-off comments under their posts (much good that's doing...) and TSL are doing their usual bitchy posts, but other than that and a few news articles the whole thing has been quieter than I expected. I expect Christine Brennan will follow up and push hard the closer we get to worlds, but with no decision from OSIC, no new details coming out (that might happen though, she might be saving details for future articles), and with no additional women coming forward, I expect the news coverage and media attention won't grow enough for I.AM to take a hit. I expect that if that is the case and they feel they are potentially facing real ramifications, they would cut ties at least publicly.

And as for FB/S, they probably feel they pushed hard through COVID and injured to get to Montreal worlds, they stayed and didn't retire after 2022 just for this purpose, it's likely just too important for them to just bow out when they don't have too (and legally they don't have to as of now). Not to mention if they truly think he is innocent their state of mind is probably "why should we WD and do something there's no coming back from and regret it when he's found innocent".

What will happen with his coaching career is something that we will see with time. I'm on the pessimistic side and think that even if he is sanctioned it will be temporary and he will be able to coach after a while. As you so rightfully wrote, we've been seeing abusers all over figure skating and they stick around coaching and sitting in the K&C with elite athletes who went to them for coaching even knowing what they are accused of. It's a systemic failure that will take forever to improve if it will ever improve.

Your last sentence really resonated with me about the need to apply pressure, I can't say I know what's the right way to do so, perhaps having someone like Christine Brenna push for the truth. I just now whatever the skating fandom is doing is not only not helping, but in most cases, it's actually hurting the cause.

#tw: abuse

[lieutenantdru]

A breakdown of how the holidays done me wrong. Why I prefer to work the holidays. Why I don't get invited to holiday parties.

It's not just seasonal affective disorder. Or alcoholism. Or growing up poor. It's not NOT these things, but that is not what stands out.

A year ago, I left my husband and hiding this through the holidays to save face. By not seeing anyone. Because of the shame. Made sure he gave everyone the presents I'd bought.

Two years ago, being a Healthcare Hero meant protecting all my high risk relatives. By not seeing anyone. My husband did, and distributed the presents I'd got them all.

Three years ago, severe mental health crisis (tried to fight some dudes whilst intoxicated. Hit on the friend who was very disinterested. Cried.)

Four years ago my girlfriend almost broke her ankle ice skating.

Six years ago, my QPR partner and FWB both ghosted me. After I gave them their Christmas presents. And told them about each other. My boyfriend (later husband, later ex-husband) was not at all supportive.

Ten years ago, severe mental health crisis (same motif as the one three years ago, different crowd). Started on meds.

Fifteen years ago, had bronchitis and coughed so bad I couldn't sleep for about three days. Read Rebecca, became convinced my then boyfriend wanted to kill me. (We were at his family's the whole time because being sick was no excuse.) Didn't do anything but be sad.

Eighteen years ago, got chewed out for trying to break up a friend's relationship by texting Happy New Year. Mild crisis.

Twenty years ago, blah blah mental health crisis blah.

In conclusion, I will be sad but work Christmas and New Years Eve every year, save me from myself capitalism.

#mental health #burnout #polyamory as a solution #polyamory as a problem #why i am the grinch

[ashthehermit]

Adaptation Station: House of the Dragon

I am a nerd, and I tend to watch shows purely for adaptational value.  I can't say why this is, but I enjoy the comparison.  My favourite recent example is the Boys, which makes a hefty set of changes to the source material.  I shan't open that door here, because I just finished episode ten of House of the Dragon and I need to put all of these thoughts somewhere.  I think that House of the Dragon is well worth the watch, perhaps even better than the best of Game of Thrones, but that its best qualities are adapted in.

I should say that I have a particular bias.  House of the Dragon is adapted from a variety of source material, mostly from George R.R. Martin's lore book Fire and Blood, along with two short stories, The Princess and the Queen, and the Rogue Prince.  I was no big fan of Fire and Blood when it came out. 

 It is written as a fake history from the perspective of a maester within the universe.  It is long, it is dense, and it skates over character moments as one would expect a history to.  The maester has no understanding of these characters' inner lives, and why should he?  But the reader does not get any interiority either, a deep shame, as it is one of the defining strengths of A Song of Ice and Fire.  As such, Fire and Blood is long, repetitive, and dry.  The dance of dragons (the specific events of House of the Dragon) only take up the end of the book, and a lot of it is a run through of various dragon-enhanced battles, with a few good set pieces. One of these set pieces (in my opinion the most memorable) formed the climax of House of the Dragon's season one finale.  A pair of cousins (uncle and nephew, maybe, who can tell with all this incest) get into a dragon battle during a storm, above a castle called Storm's End.  The older cousin, with a bigger dragon, kills the younger as revenge for his eye, lost in a fight when the pair were younger.  So begins the dance.  It is, as a scene, pretty rad.  It's the first of a lot of dragon battles.  It's tragic, as the victim is a sweet character.  It happens during an obvious, but effective bit of pathetic fallacy.  It happens above one of the world's coolest, but never seen, locations.  I watched with high hopes about how it would turn out.  It could be adapted from the page with little to no changes, and still made effective.  It was.  The scene was menacing, especially the shot of the larger dragon, Vhagar, appearing behind the smaller dragon, lit only by lightning.  Yet, to my surprise, there was a significant change from the source material.  In the book, Aemond kills his nephew (maybe) Lucerys out of vengeance.  In the show, he taunts his cousin (I guess), but attempts to stop his dragon from killing him.  His face after Vhagar kills Lucerys anyway tells all.  This was an accident. 

  House of the Dragon as a series is faithful to its source material, in a manner that is fairly surprising considering the varying nature of the source material.  Aemond's little accident is hardly the first, or largest, alteration from Fire and Blood.  (For clarification, I have not read The Princess and the Queen or The Rogue Prince, but I have read The World of Ice and Fire, and Fire and Blood, and I'm told that they contain a lot of similar material).  For starters, the timeline is wholly different.  Alicent and Rhaenyra are the same age when the tale begins, at fourteen.  In Fire and Blood, Alicent is around nine years older than Rhaenyra, and acted as the nurse to Rhaenyra's great-grandfather.  As such, the age gap between Rhaenyra and her half-brother Aegon is larger.  Rhaenyra's future husband, Laenor, too, is much younger than his book counterpart.  His father Corlys Velaryon is also presumably younger.  His wife, Rhaenys, is played by an actress who is 6 years younger than the actor playing Corlys.  In the book, they are 21 years apart.  The show has a timeline that leaps and starts.  At one point there are ten years between episodes.  There is never fewer than six months.  It is really admirable that the show managed to make a coherent narrative out of a history, which at best is a sequence of events.  Usually, stories have a unity of time and space.  It's a classic of Greek tragedy.  The story should take place in a location that's familiar, or at least repeated.  It should also take place over a denoted amount of time, so the audience can stay with the characters and understand them.

Of course, like any rule of writing, this is more of a guideline than an actual rule.  Not every story takes place in one location, nor across a short time period.  It's just that the more you break these rules, the more hazardous a story can become.  Game of Thrones often broke the space part of the rule.  The story didn't take place in one location, it was ever expanding, as evidenced by the title sequence that showed us in each episode where we were headed.  For the first six seasons, it took forever for any character to make their way across the continent.  Many characters engaged in the honoured Westerosi tradition of bumming about the riverlands.  House of the Dragon keeps the characters largely in the same place.  They're within the Red Keep, and when they're not, it's because they've decamped to a family funeral on Driftmark.  There are a few exceptions, but they prove the rule.  Fire and Blood has no consideration of either unity of time or unity of space.  It presents itself as a fictional history that spans over a century.  It focuses primarily on the lives of the Targaryens, but as a family group they are sprawling (even with the incest).  The House of the Dragon title sequence visualises a family tree, and hops down four generations before a living character is even considered.  The show cannot afford to have the sprawl that the source material does.  For one thing, it is as much an adaptation of Game of Thrones as it is of Fire and Blood.  The show cannot afford to change its style greatly, lest it alienate an already disenfranchised audience.  This extends to episode count and structure.  We all know that something big will go down in episode nine, because this is what happened in Game of Thrones.  It also makes less sense to have a long timeline on television.  Changing actors reduces the coherency in characterisation, as a character is being passed off to a new performer.  The show reduces this as a problem by shortening the timeline.  We approach the beginning of the story much later, when Rhaenyra is fourteen instead of eight, so that we will not have to wait long for the real story to start.  It also allows for fewer cast changes.  The show has made it its business to leave the ages of the characters unknowable, so that Fabien Frankel can play Criston Cole from early twenties into middle age, and Matt Smith can walk around the screen in various wigs, the passage of time otherwise inscrutable.  There is one major cast change for Alicent (Emily Carey) and Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock), along with two subsidary changes for Laenor and Laena.  (On a side note, Laena and Laenor are portrayed as younger than Rhaenyra in the show, when it would have been feasible to have them as the same age, therefore reducing the number of cast changes again by one).  The move was effective, as people became attached to the original cast, having enough time with them to appreciate them as performers, whilst allowing praise for the later cast and their ability to mimic their forebears. 

  House of the Dragon gives us far more intimate time with these characters than any of its source material ever could.  The source material, resembling entries on a wikia, skates over characterisation in a manner that makes it appear repetitive.  Alicent seems like a proto-Cersei, her terrible son Aegon nothing more than an older Joffrey.  Rhaenyra may as well be the Daenerys that we never got to see onscreen.  Viserys is Robert Baratheon.  Mysaria has a lot to do with Melisandre, and Fire and Blood characters Tyanna of the Tower and Alys Rivers.  Otto Hightower may as well be a less brutal Tywin Lannister.  Cregan Stark has a certain similarity to his most famous descendant.  It is part of a flaw that I perceive in the worldbuilding.  This world is repetitive.  It scarcely gets any technological advancement, and the political units are consistent and easy to understand.  It is not realistic, but often treated as such by its fans.  The great houses have personality traits that are carried down the generations.  The Starks are always honourable, the Lannisters cunning, the Baratheons tough.  House of the Dragon gives us more intimate scenes.  There are fewer battles (though I expect more are to come), and more conversations over dinner.   It is most different perhaps, in is treatment of women.  The women in Game of Thrones didn't exactly get the short shrift in comparison to the paucity of complex female characters in television, but they weren't narratively wondrous either.  Most of the more complex female characters eschewed femininity to gain character depth (such as Brienne, Arya, Lyanna Mormont, and to an extent Cersei).  This was, of course, not true for everyone.  But characters like Catelyn (who never favoured masculinity over femininity) were killed off.  Characters like Sansa and Daenerys (both women who had to grow into power, without the masculine coded swords favoured by others) were written with less and less complexity as time went on.  House of the Dragon does a little better, but also a little worse.  Alicent is a rare character whose reduction in agency from page to screen increases the complexity of the character.  Instead of being a proto-Cersei who exercises power badly in an attempt to ape the actions of her tyrant father, Alicent is the dutiful daughter and wife who emulates all the traits she is supposed to, but only suffers for it.  She is unabashedly feminine, and explicitly resents Rhaenyra's ability to be feminine and unbeaten by the patriarchy.  This theme is far from subtext.  It's pretty much text.  Rhaenyra, operating under Targaryen exceptionalism, does what she likes.  She sleeps with her uncle and her knight and the captain of the city watch.  All while Alicent is denied all possible sexual freedom.  The costumes did wonders to portray this.  Rhaenyra, who is pregnant twice more than Alicent is, wears dresses that do not emphasise said fact.  Several of her dresses she wears while not pregnant, as they have ties at the front that can be tightened or loosened to accommodate her belly.  Meanwhile Alicent, in the third episode, wears a dress that emphasises her pregnant belly.  Her power (and identity) only come from carrying the king's heirs, while Rhaenyra gets to have power under her own name.  Alicent wears red and pink in the third episode, and a hairnet that ages her.  She dresses in the colours that Viserys' first wife Aemma wears in the opening scene.  Later, Alicent wears dresses that have a similar shape to Aemma, even when she is in green.  Viserys, a far more compelling character in the series than in the book, has an arc focused on the love he has for his first wife.  He seemingly keeps Rhaenyra on as his heir to assuage his guilt for the part he had in the death of her mother (traumatic birth scenes both promoting a feminist point of view, whilst simultaneously being gratuitous).  This character trait makes Viserys more compelling, whilst also making him a worse person.  It makes Alicent more of an object to him.  A comfort he can take to make him forget what he did to his first wife.

In future, I do hope that House of the Dragon removes some of the more gratuitous details of the book.  It has thus far adapted Fire and Blood quite faithfully, while allowing that there is potential doubt, owing to the nature of the book's narrative.  I enjoyed the accidental death of Lucerys so much, because it allowed Aemond guilt.  Instead of being an evil stock character, too similar to his uncle, he is a foolish child, who now has to atone for his actions while fighting on the side of his brother.  Performances, like the one by Tom Glynn-Carney, have pulled back some of the more dire characterisations.  But as we move towards the story's cruellest and cheapest plot point (Blood and Cheese, for those in the know), I honestly hope they change it more.

#house of the dragon #game of thrones #grrm #fire and blood #adaptation station #long post

[aereres]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Nathan MacKinnon | Chapter 7

GIF by @gabelandeskog

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Summary: Y/N had never thought a losing streak would change her relationship with Andrew so much. But life had never been fair to her.

A/N: I'm sorry in advance.

Word Count: 2,5k

Warnings: Angst. Like lots of it.

Sixteen years old

They didn’t have it. Not that time.

Those two phrases kept repeating themselves in your mind as you watched the clock signal the last minute of the game. Right under it was the score, signaling 3-0 for the opposing team, and you inhaled a long, shaky breath.

Looking down at your phone, you saw a message from Beth.

Beth: how did it go?

You: lost 3-0

The loud sound of the horn caught your attention, signaling the end of the game. Andrew skated off the ice quickly, gloves rolled into fists as he breathed harshly. He wasn’t satisfied.

The Glaciers had been hitting a rough path for the past season, putting under their belt a series of losses that put their other seasons to shame. They had been a winning team for years, and yet something was wrong with them. And it was affecting Andrew.

You waited for him at the entrance of the arena, waving at the other parents as you watched them talk, their shoulders slumped, faces grim.

If you had to be honest, never in your life did you think you’d be so affected by a sport. Throughout your years spent on planet Earth, you had witnessed World Cups, multiple Olympic Games, and competitions of your own. Your teams could lose, and you’d feel a tinge of sadness, nothing more.

Standing right there, at the entrance of the arena, you felt like your legs were about to give in. Your stomach was sinking, and the smile you swore was always on your face was struggling to come out.

Seeing Andrew lose - more like seeing how it affected him and his best friends - was leaving you restless, almost depressed. You couldn’t even imagine how your son felt.

“Mac! You joining us?”

The nickname that had been given to Andrew at the start of the season rang loudly inside the walls of the arena, snapping you out of your thoughts. It came from Jacob’s mouth, whose arm was thrown over their goalie’s shoulders. Andrew’s best friend had a smile on his face, almost as if the loss didn’t affect him, but you knew better.

“No.” Andrew grumbled, jaw tense as he walked past you, towards the exit. You sent Jacob a sad smile, squeezing his shoulder softly before following your son outside. His tall frame was waiting by the car, sandy hair still slightly damp from his shower.

You didn’t talk much as you drove home, Andrew’s eyes almost lost as he looked out of the window into the dark of the night. He needed some time to think, to let the anger inside him fade.

He was out of the car before you could even park properly inside your garage, his back disappearing behind the door that lead inside the house before you could even notice it. You tried not to sigh loudly, even if the ache in your chest was begging you to.

Shutting off the car, you sat inside it for another second, clearing your mind before entering your house. The living room was silent, the kitchen’s lights still off. It almost looked as if no one was home.

Entering the hallway, you noticed the laundry room’s lights were on, some light shuffling coming from inside it. You headed back towards the kitchen, putting on the kettle and grabbing two mugs - yours and Andrew’s.

You opened the cabinet on your left, grabbing two chamomile tea bags and putting them inside your mugs. After the boiling water was poured, you sat on the counter, waiting for any signs of Andy to come back.

You checked your phone another time, noticing Beth had sent you a sad emoji. You opened your chat with Nathan, being close enough to actually text him about the loss and let him know how Andrew was feeling about it.

Time was passing, and Andy was still nowhere to be seen. He probably doesn’t wanna talk, you thought. You were just about to grab your chamomile and head towards the master bedroom when his footsteps started to ring closer and closer, reaching the countertop.

Andrew breathed out a sigh, his elbows resting on the counter as he looked at you. “I want to see dad again.”

The sentence was unexpected. You thought he would talk about the game, release his frustration about how he had played, or how the new coach still wasn’t understanding how badly the new lineups were working.

Instead, he talked about his father.

“And, uh- hopefully stay with him for a while.”

The already present ache in your chest seemed to form a deeper wound in your broken heart, his words affecting you in the worst ways. “Is school not going well?” You asked naively, watching the way his eyes closed.

“This is not about school, mom,” he breathed out, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. “This is about hockey. I want to go stay with dad so I can learn how to play better.”

“If this is because of the losing streak, then I understand. I really do, Andy,” you said, trying to keep a straight face. “But you’re not the only one playing on the ice. The team will eventually get better.”

Andrew looked at you, almost in disbelief. His mouth curved into a frown as his hands pointed at himself. “Mom, I won’t get better, if I stay here,” he pointed out, shoulders tensing. “Australia won’t give me the opportunity to play professionally.”

“I-it could, I’m sure your dad can call a few agents and see-”

“And then what?!” He raised his voice, his eyes glaring into yours. “They’ll fly seventeen hours to see me sit on a bench for most of the game. You think they’ll sign me somewhere?”

You breathed out a shaky sigh, a hand running through your hair as you considered what he was saying. “They could, Andrew. I think they really-”

“They wouldn’t,” Andrew spat out, hands gripping the counter, knuckles turning white. “I’d be left to play in the beer league here in a couple of years, work a nine-to-five job, and act like I didn’t have a chance in the hockey world ever since I was a kid.”

His words hit you, making you realize what he really wanted you to understand. When you had first become a mother, never had you thought you’d be going through a situation like this. Your son wanted to leave the country, move far away to pursue what could be his future career, and something selfish inside you wanted him to never grow up, to stay with you and not pursue his dreams.

That something was fighting, trying to get him to stay.

“But your home is here, Andy. Your friends are here,” you whispered, watching his eyes close and his nostrils flare. “Jacob, Beth-”

“We both know you have to sacrifice things to reach your dreams,” he stated, his voice so strong he almost sounded like his father. “You’ve done the same to move here.”

He had a point there. You had left your family, your friends, all behind to pursue your dream job as a lifeguard. You should have understood him, spurred him to move to the United States and do what he wanted to do, be who he wanted to be. But that something wouldn’t let you go.

You felt selfish, and you hated it.

“This is what I want to do, mom,” he stated. “And dad is willing to coach me and get me into teams that will make me reach the top.”

Another breathy sigh left your mouth, your bottom lip wobbling. You could see it in his eyes that leaving hockey, possibly never getting the career he had been dreaming about ever since he was six, was his biggest nightmare. You needed to let him go, let him pursue the career he was born to do. “I just- I just want you to be happy,” you said, sniffling softly. “And if that’s what will make you happy, then I-I think you should do it.”

A lone tear slipped down your cheek, your hand immediately going to brush it away as Andrew stood to his feet, walking closer to wrap you in a hug. “Thank you, mom,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.”

You sniffled, squeezing him softly in your arms, realizing you had just made the hardest decision of your life.

“I love you.” You heard him say, your heart clenching.

“I love you more, Andy.”

-

“You ready?” You asked, taking a quick look at Andrew as he checked his backpack for everything. The airport was crowded, loud around you, but it felt like you were on your own, watching your baby go.

“I think so, yeah.” He mumbled, smiling excitedly at you.

“Alright, sign my phone case before you leave,” Reed mumbled, making you all turn around to face him with questioning glares. “So, when you become famous, I can say I’m your godfather and give proof.”

“I think they’ll believe you when you pull out the thousands of pictures we have together,” Andrew said, jokingly rolling his eyes at you. “All the ones mom takes.”

You pushed his shoulder jokingly, wrapping an arm around him just as they announced his flight. Your body tensed, a sad smile forming on your face as you looked up at him. “Time to go.” He muttered, dropping his backpack to the floor to say his last goodbyes.

First was Grace, who sobbed lightly when he pulled her in for a hug. “We’ll miss you.” You heard her whisper, her shaky voice making your own eyes tear up, too. He soon moved towards Beth, who was as sad as everyone else surrounding her.

Her arms wrapped around Andrew’s neck, hugging him tightly, just like a big sister would. She was sobbing against his neck, but your son was still smiling. A hint of sadness was coating his eyes, but you could tell he was excited to start his new life. When he let his childhood friend go, he cast a quick look at her, breathing out a sad laugh. “Hey, don’t cry, Betty Bee.”

Reed was next, his nose red as his eyes fogged with tears, wrapping his arms around his godson and hugging him tightly. “Don’t have too much fun without us.” You heard him say, breathing out a sad chuckle. Andrew’s eyes found yours as he unwrapped himself from Reed’s arms.

You smiled sadly, opening your arms for him to wrap himself around you. His chin rested on the top of your head, your ribs almost hurting from how tightly he was holding you. “I’m going to miss you.” You heard him say, the words making the tears in your eyes fall.

“I’m only one call away, baby,” you reassured him, patting his chest when you parted ways. “And if you ever feel like coming home, just know you’ll always be welcome.”

He smiled, pulling you into another swift hug. “Alright.”

“Call me when you get to Nate’s, okay?” You whispered, wiping your cheek. “And you better call me every day.”

“I’ll try to.”

“And say ‘thank you’ to your dad for me.” You pointed a finger his way, making him chuckle.

“You got it,” he said, grabbing his stuff from the ground before kissing your cheek, waving at Reed, Grace, and Beth. “Bye, mom.”

“Bye, baby.” You whispered, watching him walk away. Another stray tear slid down your cheek as he became just another face in the crowd, his body slowly stopping for a second to look at you again, the smile still on his face. Then, he disappeared, and you were left on your own.

You thought it was funny, how quickly someone could become lonely. You took a seat on the nearest bench, sniffling softly as you watched Reed dry his own tears. He came closer to you. “We’re uh- we’re heading home.”

You nodded your head, clearing your voice. “I’m staying here a little more,” you muttered, voice dry, cracking. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Reed only nodded, squeezing your shoulder, before he followed his family out of the airport. You sat in silence, watching the crowd move. Your eyes fell on a businesswoman quickly walking around the crowd, dragging a light suitcase right behind her; they then followed two lovers, hand in hand, walking towards security; and then on a family reuniting.

There was a woman in her thirties, hugging who you could only guess was her mother as they both cried happy tears, talking over each other. You looked, a sense of fondness washing over you as you wondered whether you’d be in their same position: Andrew, visiting from America, hugging you after years.

Tears slipped down your cheeks, this time you didn’t bother to wipe them away. The whole airport had seen you cry already, so you weren’t going to bother.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Said a voice to your right. Looking towards the source of sound, you found a woman. She was probably in her sixties, holding her purse on her lap. “My daughter just went back to The Netherlands. It’s probably the tenth time I’ve seen her go, but it’s just as hard every time.”

You watched her sigh, a smile forming on her face as she stood up. “But you’ve got to let them go, you know?”

“Yeah.” You breathed out, biting on your lip to repress a sob. She disappeared without saying goodbye, and as you looked around to find her, you asked yourself if she had been a vision. She was nowhere to be found.

You stood on your feet, heading out of the airport and reaching your car, opening the door weakly. You made your way home in silence, the hosts on the radio talking, but you weren’t listening.

It was pouring, the rain hitting the roof of your car quickly as you parked in front of your house thirty minutes later, your heart still aching. When you opened the front door, you were met with silence. The house was dark, empty, reminding you you were on your own.

You remembered coming home from work to see Andrew in front of the TV when he was a little kid, his finished homework waiting for your review on the kitchen table. You remembered coming home when he was in middle school, playing video games with his friends loudly, welcoming you with a headache. As messy and loud as the house could always be, it was what made it home.

Its sudden emptiness made you physically ache. You closed the door, turning on the light in the kitchen and leaving your bag on the closest stool. Your eyes wandered around the walls, noticing the little things that Andrew left inside the house.

A few scratches on the walls, some pucks resting near the coffee table, old drawings from when he was a kid hung on the fridge. The house was just the same, but it already missed his presence.

Your legs carried you towards his room on their own, your hands automatically opening the door to see his bed made, the pictures with his father still on his desk, the few medals he had won still hung on the wall. His posters were still up, a stray sock lying on the ground.

A tear fell down your cheek, your hand gripping tightly the knob of his door.

You were alone. Alone, navigating through the ocean that was life without Andrew. Alone, inside a dark tunnel, without light.

You were alone, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Taglist: @thirstyybitch @bellaguarneri @boqvistsbabe @trashforbarzal @starkey-babie @keithseabrook27 @heatherawoowoo @ilyasorokinn @besthockeyfics @ayohockeycheck @thescooby-gang @art-m-anic @himbos-on-ice @barzysreputation @itisawitchesworld @lorrmorr @fallinallincurls @hockeyunits @mellany1997

#nathan mackinnon #nathan mackinnon x reader #nathan mackinnon imagine #nhl #nhl x reader #colorado avalanche #hockey imagine

[whoacanada]

‘Wishful Thinking‘

Summary: Every NHL champion gets a single brush with ice magic. When Jack takes his first cup with the Falconers, he accidentally undoes the wish that brought him back from the brink of death in 2009, and Bitty becomes hell-bent on lifting the cup himself for a chance to set things right.

A/N: Finally posting some concepts I’ve played around with that aren’t 100% complete massive fics, but still pretty solid, just little things that might be enjoyed. Yet another cup-wish-gone-wrong-au with monkey-paw components. Also inspired by discord convos about canon!Jack meeting an older, veteran NHL!Bitty and having a lot of feelings. Also mentor/father-in-law!Bob trying to help Bitty navigate the NHL. There’s more to this floating around but this is the meat of it

____________

____________

Bob can sense when it happens. A shift of something monumental that he’s only felt on a handful of occasions his entire life. A quick glance across the ice finds a number of the celebrating Falconers looking around curiously, unsure of the sensation; for so many, it’s their first brush with ice magic. A pleasant novelty. The vets, though, they look to each other.

Bob turns and doesn’t have to look far to find his son, one hand clasped around the cup, the other around Eric Bittle’s waist, smiling from ear to ear. Something about the moment is wrong, but Bob can’t quite determine why as he’s overcome with a wave of nausea. The stadium lights are too bright and he blinks hard, face scrunching, trying to force whatever wrongness he’s feeling out of himself.

Someone’s made a wish.

The moment passes. Bob’s vision clears. There, veiled in a shower of blue and gold confetti, is Eric; alone at center ice, face twisted in confusion as he looks around for the man who only moments earlier had been in his arms.

“You take the cup, you get one real wish,” the decades old, bourbon-lacquered voice of his first coach reminds him. “But only the one. Can be something small, like an empty cab in the rain, or it can be something big. World changing, even. The one thing, the most important thing — ”

“No,” Bob breathes. “Please, no.”

“— You never use your wish on another player.”

____________

____________

____________

They don’t know exactly what Jack wished for, but the next time Bitty’s blades touch the ice, it’s as if he’s stepped into the body of a new man. No more slurs. No more targeted chirps. He’s just one of the boys.

He plays. He wins. Then, the offers start to come.

NHL teams looking for fast wingers, team players, leadership material; not one of them mentions diversity, or Eric’s status as the first out NCAA hockey captain. No one cares. No one remembers Jack, and no one cares about Eric.

The best and worst case scenarios rolled into one. If this is the reality Jack unknowingly traded his existence for, Bitty has no choice but to walk through the door his partner opened.

Bitty swallows, trying to force the words out on one of his now nightly calls with the man who would have been his father-in-law in another world, if the shared connection between them hadn’t been interred in a Montréal cemetery almost a decade prior.

“I think . . . I think he wished for acceptance.”

___________

___________

___________

“No one remembers anymore.”

Eric scuffs his skate against this ice, building up a small pile of shavings before scattering them again, focusing on the soft white as if somehow he’ll be able to transport himself bodily to somewhere cool and quiet. Jackson Hole. Banff. Tremblant. Anywhere but here. Anywhen but now.

“Saw Tater last week at a press junket. Blank stares all around. Some days, most days, I wake up and I don’t know how I got here. I can go without thinking of him.”

Weeks. Eric doesn’t say aloud. Months. Those hideous mornings when he wakes up beside a warm body and forgets they aren’t him. They aren’t supposed to be him. Was there ever even a him.

Jack. Eric mouths silently, just to remind himself. His name is Jack.

The details always slip. The universe constantly trying to correct the fallacy of Eric Bittle remembering a man who died before they technically ever met. Faded photographs and corrupted memory cards. Selfies that used to have two people in frame. Vlog posts with cosmic ADR, swapping Jack’s name for someone else’s like a hastily rewritten script. Eventually, even Eric’s memories turn traitor. First times lost to reshoots and post-production magic. Blue eyes are brown. Black hair is blonde. Jack becomes Phillip. Eric’s first love recast. In desperation, he pulls a page from Memento, finds a tattoo parlor and has ‘Jack Laurent Zimmermann’ inked in dark, unmistakable letters on his inner thigh. Adds a cup, the Falconers’ crest, and the date they lost everything. It works well enough until the name fades; there are still days where a hook up will ask why Eric has a championship tattoo for a team he never played with.

Now, all he has is Bob.

“That’s why I’m here.” Bob reminds. “That’s why we talk.”

“But what happens if we don’t.”

Bob’s familiar assurances rumble through the phone. Constant. Refusing to acknowledge the harsh realities of the passing of time. The ever-present doomsday clock moving them both toward disaster — Bob aging, Eric aging out. He’s good, but he isn’t great, and the only offers coming his way are single-season contracts with teams that haven’t sniffed a championship in years. One day very soon, there will be no more chances for Eric to undo what’s been done. No more favors to ask of teammates that have long since forgotten a world where Jack Zimmermann was a college graduate and a rookie MVP. Not just an addict. Not just dead at nineteen.

Eric listens to Bob ramble, asks him to tell him a story, to tell him about the Jack that Eric never really got to know. The Jack he can barely remember. A man that Eric has dedicated his entire life to honoring, to bringing back — from where he cannot fathom — and Bob obliges in a soft tone Eric imagines is not dissimilar from how he must have spoken to his son as a child.

Eric ignores his teammates rushing around him — tossing chirps and gentle insults about his ‘Sugar Daddy’ — and focuses on the accented voice in his ear; grasping desperately at the memory of a man who doesn’t exist. Pretending. Hoping.

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Across the ice, Eric sees Kent Parson watching him. When they lock eyes, the aging star glides toward him, under a guise of one amicable captain greeting another. He’s pushing 37, and while the years of competitive play are starting to show, he’s just as viciously handsome as the day they first met. At least, Eric thinks he is. He can’t imagine a life where Kent Parson strolled onto a college campus and played beer pong at a frat party, but there’s a folder of old photos on Eric’s computer. Jack is in none of them, but there’s one of himself and Kent. Smiling.

Eric can’t recall why the image bothers him so much.

Parson used his wish years ago on something that he’s never bothered to share — and Eric’s far too much a gentleman to ask a man who was once a rival what he wasted his golden ticket on — but now, he’s slowing down, and this is supposed to be his farewell season. Going out with a bang, riding the high of his fifth cup win. He’s worked hard, and he deserves to shove the Penguins back down into obscurity for another season. Deserves it far more than Eric, with his selfish, single-mindedness that’s ruined god knows how many careers in the last decade between his own ruthlessness and Bob’s meddling.

Except. . . this is also likely Eric’s last season. His last chance to undo the great tragedy of his life, and Parson knows it.

“How you feeling, Peaches? You ready?”

Eric hates the nickname in the same way he hates when his father calls him ‘Champ’.

Eric fights his own shame because he wants to be honest, say, ‘No, I’m not ready, I’ll never be ready,’ but Eric can’t ask for what he wants, anymore. He wants the Aces to balk on a power play. He wants Parson to flub a pass and throw the game —  he even knows the man would probably do it, too — but Eric needs to come by a win honestly. They learned the hard way in 2022 when Eric hands were wrapped around the cup, wishing, praying, crying, pleading . . .

Clear eyes, full hearts, or some such bullshit.

Cheaters don’t get wishes.

“I can’t remember, anymore,” Eric admits as they square up across the face-off circle, the resigned terror of an inescapable end creeping upon him like the burn of an old injury ignored for far too long. “Kent. Please.” Parson leans down, rests his stick against the ice, and holds Eric’s gaze as if to say, I’m here. Trust me. Just play.

The puck drops.

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There’s someone watching him, young, handsome with dark hair and the kind of bright blue eyes that scream ‘notice me’ with all of the biological bluntness of neon plumage and a mating dance. The man weaves through the crowd, unnoticed by Eric’s teammates, and comes close enough that Eric can’t help but assume familiarity. He must be a fan, the way he’s flushed and excitable.

Eric’s drunk enough on the moment that he’s happy to indulge his baser instincts. He also literally can’t remember the last time he brought company home and if there’s ever been a night to get laid, it’s this one.

“Crisse, look at you, Bits.”

The man is caught between being awestruck and simply struck, reaching out to touch Eric’s arm but not quite making contact, like his depth perception is the tiniest bit off. He drops Eric’s old nickname so easily, so earnestly, that for a moment Eric thinks they might already know each other — but that’s impossible. Eric would remember someone so handsome, so very much his type.

“Only my friends call me ‘Bitty’.” Eric cautions, raising his half-empty champagne bottle in a mock toast and flashing his best ‘you’re coming home with me tonight’ smile. “But I’m more than happy to to get acquainted with you, Sugar.”

Eric isn’t usually this forward, this unrestrained. Tonight, it doesn’t matter, he’s celebrating: another championship, the end of a career, a life well lived. It’s to be expected. What isn’t expected is how the man’s relieved smile falters; as if Eric’s unbridled joy is somehow misplaced.

“Bitty? It’s me.”

“And ‘me’ is called . . . ?”

On very few occasions in Eric’s life has he been able to witness true devastation first-hand; and those instances were related to deaths, hockey losses, or blackout morning afters.

“Jack.” The man says softly, face slack with surprise. “It’s. . . Jack. Bitty, you know me.”

“If we’ve met before, I’m sorry,” Eric apologizes, hating to see the kid look so defeated. “I meet so many people — ”

Over Jack’s shoulder, Eric catches sight of Bob Zimmermann and waves, delighting in the way Bob’s face lights up when he catches sight of Eric, practically going supernova when he notices Jack as well, crossing the ice like a man possessed; Bob moves to pull them both into a hug but Eric’s new friend holds up a defensive hand and Bob stops mid-gesture.

It’s extremely apparent something is off, and between the reporters, the confetti, the champagne, and the fans, Eric is missing all of the context clues.

“Just won my last cup,” Eric singsongs, gesturing with the bottle between his mentor and the man Eric would very much like to fuck — who look very similar now that Eric can see them side by side. “Everyone’s super excited, right? Yeah? So, what’s going on. Did someone die?”

“No.” Bob says quickly, eyes flicking between Jack and Eric warily. “No. Not . . . that.”

“Severely injured?”

“. . . Non.”

“Okay, then, we should be celebrating!” Eric throws his arms wide and nearly clocks a passing teammate. “No more party pooping, Bobbert. Speaking, this is my new friend, Jack. Jack, Bob, Bob, Jack. Though, I’m getting the feeling you two might know each other. Or might be . . . related.” Eric gasps and smacks his free palm against his forehead. “Oh my god, the Tremblant retreat? Is that where I know you from? Listen, I was fucked up on pain meds that whole weekend, I am so sorry if we’ve already met.”

Despite Eric’s continued attempts at clarifying their shared mystery past, Jack keeps looking at Bob with that same wounded expression and it’s really killing Eric’s buzz.

“Bob.” Eric redirects. “Help me, here. Cutie’s nervous.”

“Eric, this is my, ah, well,” Bob’s smile is so forced, so tense, it looks more like a grimace. “Well, this is my son, Jack.”

There is only one ‘Jack’ Eric has ever known in relation to Bob Zimmermann, and he is not someone to be mentioned in polite conversation.

“Your son?” Eric echoes slowly. “Your son, Jack.”

Bob realizes what Eric’s tiptoeing around and casts a furtive glance toward the younger man, lifting two fingers to his cheek conspiratorially to imply ‘it’s a long story, not meant for public ears’. Eric knows how to play along.

“Wow, okay, did not expect that, but now that you’re saying it, I can one-hundred-percent tell. You have the same, well, everything.”

Eric takes Jack’s hand for an obligatory shake, not missing the way Jack’s features twist up into something caught between flattery and misery, before staring down his pseudo-mentor.

“My question is this, where have you’ve been hiding him — because how long have I know you, Bobby? Shame.”

“I’ve been . . . away.”

Jack’s tone is weighted with context Eric absolutely does not possess, but can definitely read into. Given the age difference and Alicia’s conspicuous lack of attendance this evening, Jack’s definitely a love child from some 90s Zimmergroupie. Or, original Jack didn’t actually OD and Bob spirited away his kid to keep away the prying eyes of the public; but that wouldn’t explain the age difference or the shared name.

Oh, Bobbert.

“Couldn’t wheel him out too soon,” Bob jokes, but Eric can tell the man’s heart isn’t in it, reinforcing Eric’s suspicion.

“Well, I’m happy you did,” Eric says graciously, trying to smooth over the awkwardness. “He’s very handsome, when he isn’t doing this Eeyore impression.”

“Just like his father,” Bob says reflexively —  defensively —  as Jack goes pink. “Eric, will you excuse us for a moment? Back in five minutes, tops.”

Eric offers a gracious wave, gaze lingering on Jack’s retreating back — and backside, bless — watching Bob rest a firm hand on his son’s neck, gripping tightly to lean in and furiously whisper something. As Eric watches, Jack looks back over his shoulder; it’s not the fond glance of a potential paramour. Regret, maybe? Grief, definitely.

He must be as disappointed to be cock-blocked by his father as Eric is.

Across the ice, Kent Parson has rushed Jack, gathering him into a crushing embrace that the younger man returns easily —  burying his face against Parson’s pads; pulling back only when Parson grabs Jack’s shoulders to push him away, taking a long look at him, holding his face between his hands briefly before pulling Jack back into his arms.

They don’t just look like old friends, it’s a reunion of desperation, like the videos his mother sends of soldiers coming home from war, but before Eric can think better of it, a teammate fists a hand in the collar of Eric’s sweater and pulls — away from Bob’s forlorn love child and forgotten first meetings — and the night goes on.  

Bob doesn’t return. Neither does Jack.

Eric doesn’t even notice.

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#Part I #maybe? #zimbits #omgcp #angst #long fic #cup magic #ice magic #my stuff #my fic #NHL!Bitty