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itsjaywalkers · 2 months

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ok so i think about nothing happens jeggy all the time and i think i've figured out why i am so much more judgemental/less forgiving of james cheating on his gfs than i am of regulus cheating on his bfs (other than the fact that he's older and initiated it the first time)

regulus is just so in love with james and i imagine he would leave his bfs in a second if james said he wanted a relationship with him. even though there's no excuse for cheating, at least it seems like he is trying to move on but is just so in love with james that he can't stop himself

but with james...it kinda seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. like the fact that he could be dating a girl and think she's the One but still think it's ok to be fucking reg on the side seems so disrespectful to both reg and his gf. expecting regulus to always be available to him while he potentially plans a future with his gf and also expecting his gf to be ok with him being OBSESSED with regulus seems so much worse to me than 'ok i'm cheating on my bf and i know its wrong but i'm in love with james so i'll always choose him' ya know??

don't get me wrong i love them both and think they're both at fault but the way james justifies it to himself/thinks it's ok is icky to me

and that's completely valid nonnie!! i've said it before and i'll say it again: james is awful in nothing happens and . kinda unlikeable . it depends on the person, a couple of my friends (dil and shan) absolutely adore nothing happens james and support his rights and wrongs (mostly his wrongs). but he's an asshole most of the time, so i was expecting him to get . a lot of hate . and fairly so!! he deserves to get beaten up!!

u made very good points here and regardless of me agreeing or not with all of them, it's always so very interesting to me to see other ppl's perspective of my characters!! i don't think james' motives are as . mean as u made them out to be, and he isn't exactly justifying himself bc he isn't even aware that he's cheating in the first place bc he doesn't see it as such/reg is always his exception but . what he does is Wrong, doesn't matter what reasons he has for it, or how well-intended he is

i do think it's easier to sympathise with reg bc we see everything from james' pov and he literally . worships him . thinks he's the best thing that ever happened to mankind . and always paints him in a good light!! james isn't a reliable narrator, so u gotta take everything he says with a grain of salt (sometimes a lot more than that) but you'll see more of that in future instalments!!

i can't speak much on . if reg would actually leave his bfs if james asked or if james is playing both sides bc it's easier/bc he wants to take more than he can chew bc it'd be a bit of a spoiler but !! so funny to me this is the impression it gives u, i'm glad i'm doing a decent job <3

anyways, thank u sm for reading nothing happens and for leaving me this ask!! i really love to discuss this kind of stuff with u guys, and to see what ur getting from the story or even who do u like/dislike and why!!

hope u have a nice day <333

#asks #anons #fic series: nothing happens

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melody-hxh-spamblog · 1 year

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Sometimes I remember Melody was willing to give up her hearing ability to restore her body* and... not gonna lie, I hope she ends up changing her mind about that

(*this line sounds like it could also just mean "I wish none of this ever happened" vs. "I'd actually trade this ability to get my old body back," but the 2011 anime('s translation) explicitly mentions restoring her body no matter what it takes, so I'm inclined to think it's more literal)

Part of me does want her to get her old appearance back, if only because a) I'm curious to see it and b) those teeth must be a pain in the butt lol, especially for a musician - seems like she's managing with the flute somehow though

But also, considering we already have Bisky, who put a lot of effort into looking more conventionally attractive and cute to the point of suppressing some of her strength, I think it'd be nice to have Melody instead become comfortable with her new appearance to the point where she would choose to keep it along with the cool new power

(veering into wild speculation territory here, but the combination of hamsterifying her appearance while granting her an ability that lets her "see under the surface" and read people's emotions is an interesting one. Makes me wonder if she could have been a bit more shallow about looks before, and the sonata was kind of a Learning Moment? Though on the other hand, the leap from "having super good hearing" to "learning how to infer people's emotional states from their heartbeats" doesn't feel like something that necessarily Just Happens - seems like a very personal take on the ability, so maybe she was already quite an empathetic person beforehand)

(a little more half-coherent rambling about Melody, Bisky, & appearances under the cut because this post got long)

I do kind of wonder if Bisky's arc could also be headed in the direction of getting more comfortable with her buff looks (hi Vergei)... Originally I was going to say something like, Bisky's desire to look a certain way feels like an internally-motivated personal choice (which is fine - if she does it just because it makes her happy, then there's no real need to change), while Melody's feels motivated by external factors (so imo it'd be nice to see her overcome that and be more comfortable with herself).

But I'm actually not sure if that's true? We know Bisky hates her muscular body and Melody wants her old body back, but I don't think it's really clear for either of them whether that comes from insecurity, or simply from preferring a particular look (in Melody's case, the way she used to be before something horrible happened to her, which is totally understandable).

But while Bisky seems very confident and self-assured (with good reason), and I don't suuuper get the vibe that her decades-in-the-making choice of appearance is going to be undone by one very fervent simp lol, we did also see how she totally latched on to Kurapika's flattery, so. maybe needing external validation is more of a factor than it seems for her?

(and maybe that's a bit of a moot point anyway - I think external pressures can get pretty closely bound up together with one's own personal desire to look a certain way, something something We Live In A Society)

So maybe Bisky's actually the one who should embrace her true form, while Melody restores her body as a way of healing from the terrible thing that happened to her? Ooor maybe we get buff Bisky and keep hamster Melody and everyone is winning \o/

#melody my beloved i hope you never achieve your dream ♡#(well‚ one of them - i do want to see her burn that sheet music)#hunter x hunter #hxh #melody #senritsu #if she does get her old body back though i just hope she's still chubby with a double chin 🙏#i... may have just written a lot of words without saying anything of value idk i'm not very smart when it comes to analyzing fiction #hope someone out there gets some mild enjoyment from reading this rambling lol‚ but if not at least it's out of my brain o/#me-cringeposting

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langdhon · 11 months

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*kicks open the door* i've said it before and i'll say it again: your michael is actually stinky and needs a bath in some holy water.

No but seriously, you've taken this rather static character ( i say static loosely simply because of the ahs writers inability to give depth ) and turned him into this dynamic thing that has these different facets in his life. he doesn't treat everyone the same. you highlight certain points of his character that are defining and core elements to his person and you stay consistent with those specific points while still showing his capacity for change ( to a point. he's the antichrist. his end goal doesnt change )

WHICH IS ANOTHER THING. the fact that you explain how that end goal remains his purpose rather than just slapping it down as "well.. he's the antichrist" no. you point out his beliefs and how they align with that goal while also making this conclusion separate from his father. he comes to that decision on his own and you don't shy away from that.

I love the work you've put into michael and how you've really claimed him as your own. <3 I could go on and on about all the things I love about your portrayal because there is SO MUCH but I gotta limit myself or else I'll be writing a ten page thesis on my love for Ava's Michael Langdon

||| beep beep, how's my portrayal?

ANDY PLS I'M GONNA SCREAM— you shower me with so much validation and now another whole wall of text I'm-! All the things you say there, I can't stop nodding while reading because it's all just what I want to put out there. Yes, he is what he is and always will be. No, he's not immutable because he lives and everything that lives, even hecking plants, changes throughout life. While I believe the core stays the same in most of us. Plus, in various scripts the antichrist as a concept has so much range; he's not the pure evil figure who goes around only doing the worst shit. Is why I hc he's on the chaotic neutral side with a chaotic evil tendency as he gets older. He's meant to be relatable to some degree, to lure certain people in on his side while still being an incarnation of chaos and destruction/new creation. The whole point of his existence is to get people to embrace their nature. What I love about the season's writing is how he cries a lot, but you can see that many times it's not genuine. But lots of fans obv. fell for the manipulation.

I want to shine a light on more sides of his person, but never let people forget that he is still That Bitch. Michael did horrible things and he is not sorry for 9/10 because it's his nature and he has the power to act beyond human standards, so he does. He's an asshole but he can be the a super fun guy too. Charming, mean, hilarious, scary, understanding, challenging. Chaos. It makes me so effing happy to read that you just... you GET how I want my portrayal to be perceived !!

And yes, it's important to me that he'll have his own reasoning while accepting his purpose— a first hand motivator behind the purpose which, broken record alert, he could've ditched with all the power at his disposal. But the world is fucked and he has the chance to get it fuckeder [ha, new word] in a way he likes and everything except the VIP lounge has to go. Renovation purposes. I do adhere to canon with his og timeline, yes, but as you said, the writing was lacking. I think it has to do with how they had to focus on Michael finding his path and getting to the whole apocalypse plan, because if they'd focused on his life beside that? It'd have gotten another season lol. Anyway, working with bare bones gives me all the freedom to do with him what I want, development wise. NOW I RAMBLED I'm sorry but everything you said there just hits home for me. I'm incredibly honored you think so. 😭

tl;dr you're correct, he's a stinky who needs to bathe in holy water while every now and then, he has a point

#SAVED.#now I sob myself to sleep bye #positivity #ravenskeeper

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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INFJ. Processing past Fe failures. Want to get better at socializing / having deeper relationships/friendships. Muddling through Ti development - desiring to get better at self-awareness + communication. A lot in my brain and it'd be a lot to share the entirety of recent exchanges that have ended up in failed relationships, so I'll try asking this and hope it's enough to get critical thinking help from you, thank you much in advance. (1/2)

[con't: I notice a pattern of me trying to communicate and express myself to be understand by, or be emotionally met by Fi users, and them responding by saying things like "I don't know what you want from me", "I don't know how to help you," "I'm sorry you feel that way" or them even saying variations of "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" (ENTJ) if I express that I feel dismissed, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

This isn't ALL Fi users thank God & I'm in therapy now to address my downplaying of my emotional needs, being willing to work through anything even though the romantic relationships I'm attracting are woefully incompatible or unhealthy. But I want to get better at doing my part to increase the chance of relationships building. What am I doing/expecting/judging in my communication with Fi users so they respond that way or has me feeling being unseen/misunderstood? Is it the basic INFJ recs?]

You point to Fi specifically. Fi doesn't require outside validation, so perhaps what you're encountering is their lack of concept of outside validation, in the manner that you're seeking it with Fe.

All of those example statements sound like they could be taken sincerely. "I don't know what you want from me" could be an opportunity for you to better explain what you need/want. "I don't know how to help you" could be an opportunity for you to provide better instructions. "I'm sorry you feel that way" could be a helpless admission that the two of you don't see things the same way. "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" could be an indication that there is a need to investigate the big gap between what was perceived and what was actually intended.

Not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye with you, not everyone is going to agree with your version of events, not everyone is going to care about your needs and feelings enough to address them kindly and patiently. This should all be okay with you unless you were walking around expecting everyone out there to have the capacity to meet you emotionally or validate your emotions (unhealthy Fe)? That's simply not gonna happen, so it's an unreasonable expectation. That's why it's so important that YOU be the first to take care of yourself and own your emotions, set proper personal boundaries, and navigate interpersonal boundaries more gracefully.

If you feel someone has violated your boundary (i.e. you feel hurt by them), the answer isn't to violate theirs in return. You're trying to fix a problem in the relationship, so further damaging the relationship isn't going to help. Whether you are right to feel hurt is not the main issue. Feelings themselves are always true and tell you something true about you. However, what you DO about the feelings isn't always right. There are two main ways people deal with negative feelings: 1) bottle them up, which amounts to self-harm, or 2) express them, which opens up the possibility of doing harm to others, if they don't have the means to process your feelings. Neither way is ideal.

If your main approach is to expect people to change (when they can't or don't want to), expect them to give you more than they are capable of giving (due to not having the means or resources), expect them to understand something that they are not really capable of understanding (when they just don't think in the same way as you), etc, your expectations are easily perceived as "demands". You're essentially pressuring people to be what you want them to be, which amounts to dishonoring them and violating their boundary. This approach is usually met with submission or resistance. If they submit to you (because they care for you), they will be unhappy for having allowed you to violate their boundary, and the problem will recur because it was only swept under the rug. If they resist you, conflict ensues, and the relationship bond will be tested and possibly threatened, especially if the conflict recurs without resolution.

There is a way to honor your feelings while also honoring others' feelings. It requires you to have good emotional intelligence and be a good communicator. Good emotional intelligence means respecting your feelings and taking full responsibility for them. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim (i.e. "you made me feel this way"), you see yourself as an agent with the power to decide what is best (i.e. "I feel this way and this is what I should do about it"). Positioning yourself as a passive or helpless victim means that you cast blame and eventually demand reparations. Positioning yourself as an active and influential agent means that you survey the situation objectively and then try to act in the best interests of everyone involved. This is what healthy and confident Fe should look like.

For example, when you feel dismissed, maybe you bottle it up for awhile, until you can't take it anymore (because the problem remains unaddressed). Then you confront people and say, "I feel dismissed". This implies that the other person has done something bad to you. You are the victim, which puts them on the spot, feeling like the bad guy, and then they can't hear you, due to becoming too preoccupied with not wanting to be the bad guy. Communication is likely to stall there, unless they have the wherewithal (emotional intelligence) to keep their focus on you and your concerns.

Instead, you could say to yourself, "I feel dismissed". You take full responsibility for your feelings and validate them for yourself. When you are good at validating your own feelings and emotions (something you admit you really struggle with), you'll eventually find that you won't need to rely on others to do it for you.

What does it mean to feel dismissed? It means that you believe you're not being taken seriously, or something to that effect. Not very difficult to understand. What to do about it? The feeling of disharmony is a message to you that you have to do more to advocate for yourself and make space for yourself within the relationship/group (it is good Fe advice). There are many ways to advocate for yourself without stepping on others. If you choose the right way, in terms of honoring everyone involved, the feeling of being dismissed will dissipate naturally. If you choose the wrong way, in terms of honoring yourself but dishonoring others, you'll encounter the problem again, because you haven't addressed the underlying problem of you positioning yourself as the victim in every relationship conflict. Chronic victim mentality is often an indication that you depend too much on outside validation of your self-worth.

Unless you are stuck in a very toxic social environment, the majority of people are not malicious for no reason. Before accusing or blaming, are you absolutely certain that they INTENDED to dismiss you? If not, wouldn't it be wise to gather more info? For instance, you could ask something like, "Have you had the time to give my idea serious consideration?" No blaming, no battling, no victim-victimizer dynamic. Do you understand how communicating without blame, through genuine inquiry, avoids trapping the both of you in a vicious cycle of seeking emotional reparations? You give people the benefit of the doubt. You give people the chance to clarify or explain. You give yourself the chance to grasp the FULL picture so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do (based on their response to your question). But this presence of mind isn't possible when you can't accept your feelings/emotions and they run wild as a result.

One common misapplication of Ti is the tendency to jump to illogical conclusions or make up illogical stories about what is motivating people's negative behavior, all the while believing that you're being completely logical. It's a destructive way to deal with negative or disharmonious feelings. Once the false narrative infects your mind, you can't help but perceive the person as attacking you, even when they're not. This misuse of Ti is a major impediment to relationship building.

The problem with victim mentality is that you are hyperfocused on your perspective only, so you only have half the picture, which means making ill-informed decisions. If you are prone to Ti loop, you need to get to the bottom of why you're so quick to position yourself in the passive position of victim. A healthy relationship should be an equal partnership based on trust, which means that you should always try to 1) give people the benefit of the doubt, and 2) gather the facts of the situation before drawing a conclusion about what they intended or what kind of character they are.

If the fact of the matter is that the person really doesn't care about your feelings, then you know not to seek validation from them, and perhaps distance from them for your own good. Don't play around in toxic or abusive relationships. If the fact of the matter is that your perception of the situation doesn't match up with what they intended to say/do, then it's up to you to straighten out the situation in your mind before proceeding.

Trust your feelings, validate your feelings, but don't act blindly on them (i.e. without fully grasping what's happening with the other person). Figure out why exactly you're feeling what you're feeling, then take it up with the person in a way that addresses the root of the problem and in a way that doesn't immediately put them on the defensive. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable, but being more skilled at communicating your concerns will certainly reduce the amount of pain required to reach a resolution.

#infj #infj relationships #emotional intelligence #auxiliary fe #ti loop #communication #self worth #victim mentality #boundaries #relationships #conflict #ask

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captainkurosolaire · 3 years

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~ Mass Update ~

Mainly going into future plans and intents alongside ideas below cut.

Ton's of things I've in store this will prove difficult to vent it all out. But here we go... First off rehashing and appropriately learning to tag and organize things better on my blog. Each category will have their own corresponding content, I seek to bring or share. [Tales of Goldbrand] -- I intend this to carry a Compendium of all my writes soon that'll have everything neatly in-order including a glossary, so it'll have highlights of stories that even matter or the best stuff. I've written here for a very, long time, there's been many shifts. I want to make it more accessible. While coloring what matters for people who want to learn Captain or his Crew with less chapters. While also giving choice to find it all easily. This is essentially a step-above master-lists. I'll be doing that after the Saga I have going on, right now is done. [Captain] -- Will provide you strictly with Captain screenshots, gifs, photo-sets. This is still his blog despite the Crew thing's will sort of make this a scuffed Multi-Muse blog. I've few more things to edit and tag fix to get all his stuff though. [The Wild Crew] -- Afterwards this story is done Immortal Age Saga, It's something that I mainly wrote as a passion project within three days to get my warm-up process fixed. It's to allow me to get a feel for all his Crewmates and casts, in combat, in-general, to feel their presences. While also giving a bit of their backstories. At any point, I can go back and polish or tweak things in. They're NPC's but... not entirely. All will have their own 'Dreams' and their own 'Disapproval's' they have their own missions even. These things will factor eventually, they might set seeds, to betray or disagree with something, but that's all angst and more stories to be created, but overall, they'll probably always be Crew, eventually. -- I plan on making character-profile sheets of them and putting them in this Tab, it'll have their screenshots, their likes/dislikes. Some RP partners or people can also be shipped with them, but they'll all be monogamous and originally start off probably Pan. This allows them to figure out what they like on their own stories. I've always been someone who likes organic-flow. Although this one story contain all 16 characters or more, the rest will probably be shortened to a Squad of 4 and dispersed when on adventuring missions. Until I do a War Arc, that's my main goal to build too. [Roster] -- Will contain this Crew in just screen-sets dedicated to them, I'll probably randomly produce those. I've PC players among this Crew too. I may not be done either adding more, but this Crew is mainly built around Quality. Most pirate crew's mainly, have hundreds, thousands. Even Fleets. This Crew has personalities, monsters, people who are living life's that exist with piracy. He's an particular leader that had PC players the same way, he's had split-personality serial killers aboard, tribal chieftains, succubus, all sorts of various people once on a Crew. It's often an outcast style, pirates default are chaotic in nature, so this really isn't any different, it's a Fantasy version of it. There's humanization characters aboard too though, so this cast is really decked, everything and person is vital, they matter because they remind or covet something that others can draw upon. If ever played (Three Houses or Mass Effect / Dragon Age Origins) A lot of things like that are relatable too this structure and format. Which, Is something I want to be able to give when RPing. I want a genuine feel of this new world someone else's muse will be the main-character too. Depending on what's interacting everything they'll be scale appropriately to follow the genre they're in and environment even. [Aesthetics] -- Already explainable what you'll find here. [Asks] -- Same thing. [Prompts] -- Trivial things I was tagged too, I plan on compiling later. [Writing] -- Another alternatively to randomly go-down and it works right now. [Logs] -- Will have more individualistic master-lists and posts there, my poems from Sheik Sphere the Bard, etc.

Things of that nature, I'll probably add still. It's where a lot of my creative writing is summed. [Gems of Hydaelyn] -- My main #tag for other characters and artists, creationist. Lot of amazing people easily to find their zones or follow them optionally if you like. Ton's I intend to support and bolster, be a lot less unspoken. I'm never the type who's been strictly inclusive. But I'll do that when I've time to even explore the dash, I'm always still planning ahead with things and projects. [CKS] My original character-sheet it's outdated on something's but not too terrible. I'll give him polishing someday, I swear? [21+F-List] -- Just purely degenerate stuff of Captain. I'm a pirate blog. I will represent that with openness and furthermore. I'm never projecting you some false-image. I started off a smut-writer by stripping that, I no-longer represent the same aura and identity. But those are strictly his stuff and kinks, I'm effective in executing them but they're not all relatable to me OOC. This blog will always be 18+ containing crude or dark material sometimes, romantic things, this Captain is blunt, will literally put his cock on the table in conversations. Swearing and being censored would be too uncommon and displace most of him, but there's more about him then all this. [Other] -- I pay homage to a lot of characters, I originally am a Concept Designer. Which mean's I make characters and ideas like my addiction. Bad characters / villains or other little things I like to share in designs, I'll put there. Some villains might get little photo-sets, even if they died. Just cause I like their design, or maybe I'll give them an AU, where they won. When I've wrapped up things. [Collabs + Ships] -- Is a new project idea. This isn't going to be something limited too romantic only ships. It'll contain, platonic, romantic, friendships, rivals, frenemies, family, PC Crew, all ships. I am desperately working on improving my gif, screenshot, posing game so I can supply 'Screen Stories' this is not only a way to RP that's accessible with even people who are upon time-crunches from work, It gives visual-representation. To impactful stories shared with others and establish bonds. That are all-valid and impactful matter. Lot of people take a lot of their characters attributes into them and are them dialed up, I work with that and bit more, differently. I'm disconnected from my characters and they'll get hurt and injured and killed by me, that's my duty as their Author to give them conflicts and struggles. I'm their major antagonist, but that doesn't mean at-all, it's always SET that way. The characters I like to make have their own life, they live in this setting and are abide by it, they're often nothing, nobodies, and by the interacting with others, they slowly gradually building, more... Through emotional impacts, they alter, these are REAL people by all their beliefs. Each person they come in-contact with are legitimate and treated like that too. They've always impacted or given them insights to grow, or represent more. Otherwise it'd be criminally disrespectful if I allowed any emotional I felt OOC be the grudge to something IC. Captain in-particular is set on defying me. I cannot have that. ...But I can't stop him. He's met and encountered so many people and lived so many scenarios based on the actions of others, he's giving a chance right now to actually do things a lot further than impossible. The more people he meets and encounters, experiences, the more I lose. These stories are emotionally interactive where everything is a factor and adds to the dice, where the other people are the one who get to roll the dice for him, not me. That's something I want to color in. People range in emotions, they have their down's, ups, their own wholesome-grounding people, spending time with your favorite people, there's nothing more cherishing than that, being in your own comfort-zone or 'safe-space' these are all treasures that we live under, today. Contrary if what people assume of me, I'm not another 'blogger' that's came

before, who's wanting to force a harem, then constantly is bewildered when that falls to pieces cause of selfishness or a lack of communication, or the skeletons they have in their closets and beliefs they hid behind and swindled fooled everyone. I'm not looking to be popular or anything really, I just create stories and want to share in those, and I want to also boost others included, upward with me, especially those who make me. There's no ego in anything I do, this is purely love. I've never cared about being replicated or duplicated, I've had stalkers, I've gone through more then anyone would imagine, I've been used OOC and abused, just for my writing and cold-harshly told, i'd never amount to anything other then that or vice-versa. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion. That's all I got and am anymore. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion is the hardest thing to keep. It's something that can be stolen, quite effortlessly. Few words of discouragement, a bad negative representation, a lack of confidence, or small amount of time, there's many thing's that can put that flame out. Once you lose it. The difficulty to reattain is hundred-times harder than climbing any mountain for real. I've watched the greatest creators crumble from under the pressure, from beaten down by others. I watched many of them do it to themselves because they put a grand vision of needing validation of another and once lost, felt uncompelling to press onward. But passion also can be given BACK and drawn. It can be shown and encourage others, with a soft-triggering, that pushes them. That motivates, that constantly sticks to it. There are many that fuel me. If I ever quit, I let them down, I spit in the faces of people who're better than me in every-way. Or people who've came and given me their precious Time. That have given their character's or dedication to the abundant stories and community-driven things I've done. There's ONLY things you can do, create, give and provide. It cannot ever come to life without YOU. This is a fact. ...I swear, If you let your creativity soar, you'll be amazed by the heights you get. Constantly polish and learn and hone the best you, challenge yourself day after painstaking day, to draw better improvement on something, no matter how trivial or unfamiliar you are. You'll find a confidence only you can give yourself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Future Plans --------------------------------------------------------------------- For me, I've got so much more stories to give and also explore, I might be taking up soon some other artists and more skilled people from community and hire them for some of my future writes, to up my game or cause something thing's can't be done in-game cause no background carries it. I also got a lot of-set up things and more angst stuff I want to practice, plus I'm adamantly on that grind to produce screen-sets with the intent's to some sort of improving daily. Additionally more people I'll be reaching out too soon for these collab's ideas and things. I look forward to shaking your hands, giving some hugs, show you my respect and admiration, then creating some enchanting stories and giving plots light. Feel free to reach out to me, I get scattered-brain but I'm working on getting better about it. Eventually will get to you though, my goals, if uninterested just say so when I poke, no bites, unless you kinky. Anyways, cheers hearties.

#ooc #update #future plans stuffz #ToG #Work on thinking of daily practice now

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rosemary-is-in-pesterquest · 3 years

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literally I was watching someone's playthrough of pesterquest as it was being released, and I almost finished it, but then I got spoiled for the fact that Ult Dirk shows up, and it totally knocked me off the wagon. like I've had it in my head that eventually I'll go watch Dirk's content, but it's been so long since I watched everything else... by this point it'd be kinda disjointed to even do that.

also, I was weirdly irritated by MSPAR in pesterquest? I found them so charming in hiveswap, because they were characterized as kind of a bumbling, overeager and well intentioned traveler that just wanted to help. but in pesterquest they get all know-it-all ish... it's reeeeeeally off putting. like I could forgive them being confused or disheartened, but they went a step too far and got all cynical and been-there-done-that, and gave a lot of advice that just wasn't good? as if they were some sort of expert or something. it makes pesterquest kind of irritating because you play as an irritating audience surrogate character who does shit that you don't actually want to do.

like, okay, Eridan's route, right? at the end, the advice MSPAR gave was basically "stop being an asshole" which is like... warranted and fair? but first of all, this Eridan needs different advice than homestuck's Eridan! and second, would a real asshole actually take advice like that? it's so... basic.

Eridan is a character that I'm not super attached to, but I get peeved when people get him wrong. in homestuck, the thing that Eridan needs, is to realize that if he wants something from another person, he has to try not to be a leech about it. everything is all about his perspective all the time. when he wants something, he'll ask, but if he doesn't get it, he'll whine and beg, and if people get mad at him for doing that, he gets all self deprecating and bemoans how hopeless his situation is, and how much everyone hates him. like he'll literally annoy one person into getting fed up with him, just so he can go cry to another person about his problems, and ask them for advice that he probably won't even take, because getting attention was the point, and this is technically what he wanted anyway. and the more people catch on and get frustrated, the more fuel he has for his "everybody hates me" pity party.

and the interesting thing about Eridan is that all of this probably comes from a real worry that nobody could like him, even if he tried. I mean, most of his friends are lower on the hemospectrum, and have a systemic reason to hold some sort of resentment towards him. so like, he probably likes Feferi because the two make an appropriate match class-wise... but he also probably likes her because she's his only friend that is more privileged than he is, so she can't hold his status against him.

also, pesterquest leans into that old fanon thing where Eridan is indiscriminately desperate and will date anyone. like... no! originally, Eridan specifically wanted to fill all of his quadrants! he wanted a matesprit (Feferi), a kismesis (Vriska), an auspistice (Kanaya), and a moirail (possibly Karkat). and not only that, but he wanted these specific people to fill these specific roles for him unconditionally and without conflict, in spite of their actual feelings. Feferi doesn't want to date him... she doesn't even really want to be his moirail because she's doing all the emotional labor and it's exhausting. and Kanaya had a red crush on Vriska at the time... the last thing she wants is to be auspistice-zoned! meanwhile, Vriska is becoming less and less interested in Eridan anyway because she's got her own unhealthy fascinations with certain people. so like, Kanaya wouldn't even be acting as a proper auspistice anyway... she wouldn't be helping to calm a volatile rivalry, she'd be trying to force a lackluster relationship to continue. that's like, the opposite of how it's supposed to be!

literally the only one of these that might've worked is Karkat as his moirail, because Karkat is amazing at giving advice, and dealing with difficult people's bullshit without getting sucked into too much drama. but like... that's probably the one relationship out of all of these that started from genuine charisma between two people, rather than Eridan deciding who he wanted to pursue based on a checklist of socially advantageous qualities. at least with that, it's implied that Karkat also likes talking to Eridan... like, both of them are getting something out of this. in all other cases, Eridan isn't even in it for the romance. he's in it to gain validation by living up to a societal standard.

it's only after our 12 trolls end up on the meteor after their SGRUB session that Eridan starts getting all weird about dating people other than the specific four he was already interested in. and that's specifically because there are now only 12 trolls left that exist. these people are the only ones left, so if he can't get a relationship to work with any of them, that's that. so basically, when pesterquest characterizes him this way, even though he still lives on a fully populated Alternia... why is he acting like that?

Eridan needs to learn how to actually put something into a relationship that he wants to get something out of. and to do that, he needs to believe that he has value beyond his status, and that it's possible for people to be motivated by more than class politics and spite. he treats people exploitatively because he expects them to try and exploit him just as badly... it's not just about fixing bad behavior. it's about him learning to put in work, and give another person reasons to like him, without feeling like a sucker for conceding any ground. the more defensive he gets, the worse he is.

and pesterquest messed up Jake's route too! what is it about hope players that stumps people like this?? I get that Jake is tricky, but jeez... I won't get into it as much, but Jake is always masking what he really feels, and the way his route handles him makes him seem like he's acting equally neutrally friendly to each of the other alpha kids. but then it implies that his true feelings are that he considers all three of his friends' romantic interest in him to be equally serious, and equally unwanted. that is... blatantly untrue. he knows Roxy might find him attractive but won't make a genuine move on account of Jane. she literally drunkenly told him so. and Roxy also drunkenly told Jake that Jane likes him. meanwhile, he also pretty much knows that Dirk had a crush on him when they were kids, but back then he kind of shut it down, or at least sent mixed signals, because he wasn't confident about having a crush on a boy. now Dirk himself is not confident that Jake actually likes him, and is trying to back off because he feels like his younger self was overly aggressive, but the AR is still as brazen as Dirk used to be when pursuing Jake, so it kind of undermines that attempt. still, Jake feels like he might've already come off poorly to Dirk. he does like him though... and he knows that Jane has a crush on him, and doesn't want to be the one who disappoints her, so he weasels his way out of addressing it. that is the deal with the alpha kids. not Jake just kind of bemoaning the fact that all of his friends are in love with him and he's not down for anything. so once again, we see a pesterquest route written on the basis of mistaken assumptions.

sorry for going on and on and on... I just find all of this so frustrating. half the characters are only the fan interpretations of themselves, and MSPAR sucks, and the meta is confusing, and... I wish it was good but it's not.

I love you for this ask anon, I never played friendsim but I did see a lot of people who tuned into all the friendsims express annoyance over the way Reader was portrayed in pesterquest. I can't even remember what happened in the Jake route bc I'm tired but it definitely could've been better.

Imo, best alpha kid routes go from: Roxy, Jane, Jake, and Dirk (half his route wasn't even dedicated to him lol rip)

#long post /

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howlsmovinglibrary · 5 years

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So i noticed you reblogged a lot of got. I followed you bc of your book reviews. I wonder if you read ASOIAF? It'd be cool for you to review it. And also it'd provide me see your stand towards the writing of the last season, & your perspective towards Arya as retconned Night King slayer, the dull (and abusive) romance bw jnerys, jon's character assassination and the lack of his POV, and the show being Dany's show (at the expense of other chars).

Oh wow anon, it’s very rare that I get asked to go off, but I’m more than happy to take you up on the invitation to rant!

In answer to your first question, I have read the first book of ASOIAF, but unfortunately I personally feel George R.R. Martin’s strength is his plotting, and now that the show has kind of unmasked the plot of those first books I find it difficult to slog through his writing style, just because it’s not suited to me. I got to 100 pages from the end where Ned Stark is wondering whether or not he’s gonna die and was like…I kind of know how this ends.

As for my manifold problems with the writing of this last season, I have them, although they don’t seem to be lined up with yours exactly. I have placed this under the keep reading tag, because Long Post. And Spoilers.

Arya

Ok, so as for the Arya plotline, I actually didn’t mind this. I realise it goes against a lot of the material of the books (which I haven’t read), but I think that however much of a retcon it is it makes a lot of logical consistency within Arya’s storyline itself. I was personally getting to the point, with Arya going around Winterfell and not really doing much, of wondering “why did she go to assassin school again?” I think that her getting to kill the Night King validates a lot of her plot arc, whereas before her training was slowly becoming useless and irrelevant to the current situation the writers had put her in - of course this goes out of the window come the last war.

I would actually argue that this decision, bar its illogical and rushed execution, had elements of why I loved GoT’s more established plot twists. You had a strong fantasy genre trope, the Chosen One, in Jon, and then reality intervenes and breaks it. Jon is trying to fight a fucking huge dragon, and is therefore, logically, preoccupied. So someone else gets the kill. I liked that. I mean, it seems like prophecy has just been UTTERLY DISREGARDED in this entire season rather than twisted or subverted, so I guess if we’re feeling particularly generous (which no one is) it might even be “making a point”.

And yes, we haven’t seen any of her assassin powers over the course of this season (because the writers are retconning her into a nicer ‘antihero’ and not outright eviscerating psychopath), which makes me wonder why she even has them. But I’m actually ok with her getting the Night King kill.

And I’ll dream of the alternate universe where Arya kills Cersei wearing Jaime’s face, actually utilising her skills, getting her ‘green eyed’ kill, and fulfilling Cersei’s prophecy.

Danaerys

So, I hate Danaerys, but I don’t really agree with your viewpoint of her. I don’t really feel like this became ‘her’ season at all. In fact, I feel like this season was just a lesson in how to gaslight a woman into madness and relegate her entirely from her own fucking story.

I will outright state that, I wanted Danaerys to go Mad Queen. I think her character has had problematic elements from very close to the beginning: regarding her sense of entitlement which is not underpinned by an actual competency in regards to ruling, her idealism, and her tendency as a white character to weaponise the brown people she essentially colonises for her own goals. These are not the reasons D&D give to justify her ‘madness’. In fact, they say she’s always been mad for punishing abusers. It just shows now…because of a bad break up.

Danaerys’ “descent into madness” was so badly written that I get mad just thinking about it. It essentially comprises all the men around her having conversations with each other saying “I think she might go mad”, and then her doing a Bad Thing for no discernable reason. This is 1. BAD WRITING, because SHOW NOT TELL. Also, NARRATIVE CONSISTENCY. If you have to have Tyrion outright narrate what you are retconning as her evil past, which is what he did in the final episode, you have not written a consistent plot. Viewers are not stupid. And 2. It’s just awful in terms of gender. Literally, Dany is a woman who becomes isolated and the men around her pathologise her as mad rather than communicating with her and allowing her the agency to authorise her own existence. It’s like The Yellow Wallpaper. There’s so much gaslighting! Everyone says she’s mad for thinking people will betray her as they betray her in the same breath! Jon says he loves her and then punishes her for desiring him! It’s just absurd. I wanted this to happen and they still fucked it up.

Once her sexual desire is just for her and no longer consumable by the male viewer, because its incestuous, and her ambitions outstrip the men around her, suddenly she’s evil.

And do not get me started on all the awful racial connotations of her story a) being fuelled by the pointless fridging of the only named black woman and b) being utterly endorsed by all the people of colour within the show unquestioningly while all the ‘good’ white men suddenly have their doubts. The way Dothraki war cries were basically used as background music to signify evil savagery made me sick. They literally weaponised race as a way of connoting fear and evil. The fact that her “evil speech” was basically a straw feminist recycling of her liberation rhetoric in a way to condemn all her thoroughly understandable and initially intentions from the very beginning was just a way to validate every Incel’s fear about SJW discourse. Instead of, I don’t know, CRITICISING HER AS A COLONISER. Maybe unveiling her hypocrisy? Nope! All black people are evil and will never question orders because they have been consistently stripped of their humanity! They are a faceless army of non-whites! And oh yes, all women are evil for wanting to enact violence on those who want to abuse them!

Honestly, I think this season of the show has been as much at the expense of her character as anyone else’s. Because it’s not been written well, or believably, and it feels like a complete reduction of the very real potential she had as a critique of imperialism. She’s just a mad woman.

Jon

I can’t really talk that much about Jon. I kind of cover it above. I’m not sure if you think Jonaerys is abusive to Dany or to him, I would argue the former because of the gaslighting.

But I will say, he must’ve taken his refresher course in Stark Honourable Stupidity after actually being competent in Season 7. According to D&D’s logic, if he had simply slept with Dany, a woman he loves, she wouldn’t have gone mad. It’s only in GoT that I can justify incest, but he should’ve taken one for the team.

And maybe kept secrets better.

Just…the show in general

Really, I’m just so disappointed with the show in general. The plot, like Jaime’s characterisation, is so profoundly circular.

We still have an iron throne. We still have an utterly corrupt council elected through nepotism (although I guess we’re supposed to like them now?) Fuck, we still even have a wall even though ALL THE WHITEWALKERS ARE GONE.

Everything was so rushed and irreverent to the point of incompetency - I mean, everyone has seen the coffee cup. Prophecy and foreshadowing was utterly disregarded (I’ve spared you my Jaime Lannister rant because you didn’t ask), nuance was completely lost. I cannot believe that Cersei’s death was an anticlimax, that she didn’t do anything in that final battle but shed a manly tear, had barely any lines of dialogue despite the fact that she is one of the strongest characters of the entire series. And yet EURON GREYJOY got a triumphant death. It is so disingenuous. I really don’t think the fanbase would’ve been that hard to please but it seems like everything was denied us in the name of ‘subverting expectations’.

And however well shot the battle scenes were, I found it profoundly boring because there was no real motivation to drive the action. It was just screaming, and death, and oh yes some gratuitous rape because that’s what every viewer is here for, right?! I watch Game of Thrones for the character intrigue, not the violence or the blatant misunderstanding of what “authentic medievalism” entails. The fact that I watched the finale of my favourite show and did not cry once - me, who cried four times in a single Critical Role episode - is just a testament to how hollow and heartless the writing became.

#ask #game of thrones #game of thrones spoilers #I get to have a rant?#I fucking love to rant

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