#ive never felt this anxious in my LIFE

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

today I am mostly: struggling

#why did i decide to write a book oh god my brain #my anxiety #ive never felt this anxious in my LIFE

[waterfallofspace]

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

#waterfalltalks #waterfallrambles #more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha #been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious??? #idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life #or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling #but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again #i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care #it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that #if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored #anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~ #using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself! #gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!! #just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~ #thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3 #i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333 #not snz

[watery-melon-baller]

babygirl i am so fucking nauseous rn

#my anxiety does this super fun thing where it ALSO makes me nauseous #nausea is of course the worst feeling in the world #so now I'm waiting to meet with an important faculty member and trying not to throw up #I've never actually puked from anxiety. But I've definitely felt bad enough that I thought I would #pls pray for me in so stressed #im making a Big Life Decision and I'm. hnfgggg. stressed #ive talked to a bunch of different people about it and like I've done research so. I'm not super unprepared? But I still feel underprepared #I don't know what I'm doing or if I'll regret it and I know that part of life is taking chances #but I can still feel anxious about this especially because this is an Expensive decision #lilac post #anyways. im just venting while I wait. i hope she's nice hngggg

[milf-harrington]

i have got to see a therapist

#worst experience with intrusive thoughts of my life last night #woke up and just wanted to kill myself for what happened in my dream #i have literally never felt more disgusting and no matter how many times i try to remind myself i am Not my intrusive thoughts #ive spent all day feeling anxious and sick #and it sucks #and i feel like i need to talk to a professional about it bc i dont know what to DO #i have NEVER been able to figure out how to handle intrusive thoughts it like my achilles heel of self awareness or smth #captain speaks #intrusive thoughts #suicide tw

[soggypotatoes]

the last few days have been a lot, in a good way, a really good way actually, but man my body is not used to this much positive change and hope about the future and I literally don't know what to do with it.. Ive felt hopeless and unable to look ahead bc I just couldn't see a future, for so long, forever rly... a series of things have happened that have changed that so suddenly I'm reeling.. I don't know how to handle it, being able to see a path ahead of me. it feels so strange. what do I do with this feeling 😅

#it's overwhelming! #first i get 100% on my first exam.. my tutor tells me he thinks ill do well and that my ideas are thesis worthy.. #i felt anxious about a fake study i came up with for an assignment (lol) and then my friend tells me something that fully affirms iy #my housemate has been working really hard on his mental health and taking huge strides #after many years of ignoring issues and me stressing out about it lol #im making progress finally! #but im scared #i havent been here before #the future has always been a hazy mirage that never came closer and i was. so thirsty but knowing it probably wasnt real #its still far away but suddenly it's clear #ed mumbles #and like. the thesis idea i had #combines my studies of zoology with psychology #and it's something ive been so passionate about for so long #i wasnt even telling him about it as a thesis idea #and then he said i should think about it bc it would be accepted easily bc nobody else is really doing this topic #it blindsided me! #i went from having teachers in high school telling me to drop out (seriously) #to people like this having faith in me and my ideas and abilities #went from being crushingly alone my whole life to suddenly having people around me supporting me #idk what to do with support still #but i can start trying to relax and let them support me finally

[famewolf]

the best part of getting to party with ppl my age was how well people knew their boundaries. the balance of being able to get absolutely zooted until the late hours while also all of us waking up before 8am to make breakfast and clean was genuinely comical

i woke up just before 8am thinking i'd be one of the first to rise but i was the 3rd to last

#[static] #everyone had already cleaned and they were starting to make the group breakfast #ive not been to a party since ... gods 2016?? and we were all a little too eager to over do it back in the day #it was genuinely sweet in its own strange way #then cut to 9am when we went back to party mode #someone brought liquid iv and everyone was making sure we all had lots of snacks and water and sharing the different goods we brought #it was just sweet! a nice weekend to let loose but as my friend said #we are all the 'mom friend' so it was a really safe environment and a bunch of fun #i have never been so stoned in my life for so long but it made me feel more relaxed than I've felt in years tbh #not a worry on my mind and just enjoying the trees and the lake and reading my book and helping my companions who were playing in the water #i dont really like talking about Partaking in drugs in general for several reasons (mainly it makes me cringe @ me) #but i cannot emphasize how i had Zero Worry or Anxiety in my body for the first time in gods know how long #im home now and just ... ready to do things and my brain feels normal for once #no overwhelming chatter about things im anxious about or coming up with things to be anxious about #i will be grateful for the brain-quiet for as long as it lasts

[ikyw-t]

this is a moodboard for how my brain has been feeling the past couple weeks. yes i spent like 10 minutes organizing these pictures if that tells u anything about how im feeling

#not that anyone asked but it's bc my adderall rx changed a month ago from extended release to short release #bc the extended release was making me feel super anxious in the afternoon when it would start to wear off #which is obviously counterproductive and i am already anxiety-inclined if that's even a phrase #so ive been on the short release version of adderall for the last month and overall it was going a lot better #the anxiety in the afternoon pretty much disappeared which was nice #the past like three weeks tho ive been dealing with being unable to stop picking at my skin and cuticles too #which is something ive struggled with since middle school in various degrees and tho it was getting better in the past couple years #ive never struggled with it LESS than i have since starting adderall in like march. and my god. what a joy and relief that was #so now that it's started happening again it's honestly pretty upsetting bc it's kinda physically painful and also just rly embarrassing #like i dont even have that bad acne probably but being unable to stop picking at it makes it like ten times worse #like i haven't had acne on my back in like three years since i finished taking accutane #and in the past three weeks i have but it's rly only bc i can't stop scratching at it and so there's gonna be scarring too #it's just very embarrassing and also disappointing nd disheartening since i was finally able to NOT have to deal with this for a few months #it's appalling and upsetting to realize that this was just my life for like a decade before i got treatment for adhd #and once i did it a lot of my impulsive and unconscious skin picking pretty much disappeared. #like damn bro the amount of times my mom and everyone in my family told me how nice my skin would be if i could just leave it alone. yeah. #anyway. im gonna talk to the doctor about this next month when i get my refill obviously bc i am not having a good time #even tho this was working rly great for the first three weeks. like whyyyy can't medicine just work. whyyy #anywayyyy if u read all this no u didnt bc it's embarrassing for me lol #i just felt the need to talk about it cause it's been upsetting me today

[krarka]

I'm soooo confused about my adhd meds and if they're working as intended and what to look out for it makes me feel so stupid 😝

#and my psych is no help #i feel sociable for two hours thats all i can say for sure #the rest i keep feeling like can be placebo #ppl saying how meds changed their lifes and made them feel normal i dont get iiiiiiiit i dont know aghhh #and all that on top of how quickly i got diagnosed and prescription makes me just think well maybe theyre wrong #which just makes me anxious #ugH #idk man #i also think my dose is too high idk why she upped it before the 'trial period' #also ive never felt as adhd as after it wears out sometimes like jesus #very textbook very interesting #vent #i keep trying to google stuff and find ppl talk abt their experience but it all is just so unrelatable #ppl being like either it works or doesnt for me lols #wheres my i have no idea what im feeling at any given time rep

[v-gersix]

yaaay

#it's so awesome having so much trauma related to death and illness and it only continues to happen in my life #there's something up with max (my cat) right now. he might have some sort of tooth or mouth problem and it's scaring me so so badly #because i had to put down my other cat only a month and a half ago. and im so. im so scared. and me getting anxious #also doesnt help how paranoid i am about my own health because getting anxious has started making my chest hurt in a new way #that ive never felt before and it's just so. im so scared. so often. im so scared. im so so so so scared. im tired of loved ones dying #or getting ill i cant take it. i cant take it i cant do it. i need to go back to therapy so badly. i need meds #i need meds for my anxiety so badly. i need help. im so scared.

[hacksplatter]

wah

#venting in the tags like its 2014 again. i feel like im back there so why not #sick n tired of being in the middle of other peoples issues #i want to have stable housing that lasts more than 3 months #i just want to live in a house with people that are normal abt communicating #my roommates are making me so uncomfortable and anxious in the house I ALSO PAY FOR #i want to live with my partner more than anything and i want to see my friends again like i did in college but #im tired of balancing this shit with my job thats sucking all my energy away from me #money is gonna get tighter bc one of my roommates is leaving bc of aforementioned communication issues #i would move out too but my partner is still in dorm housing until next may and he doesnt deserve to deal with that on top of senior thesis #and it takes more money than i have rn and will have for the foreseeable future #im so tired of this. my mental energy is reaching high school levels of drained i never wanted to reach this point again in my life #and again. i would like to have longer term housing than just three fucking months #ever since my parents moved into a new house 4 years ago I havent felt like ive had a home and this certainly doesnt help #do i just. have an aura around me that influences people to act weird #i miss everyone #i havent been able to draw/paint anything to completion in weeks. #the only things i can do anymore are work shower or laundry.

[scorporia]

ok I'm tipsy so I'm finally fucking calm. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.

#ive never felt that anxious in my fucking life #it was just a side effect?? or i will have to bring it up with my psychiatrist next month?? jesus christ man

[jiwon1es]

` wedding : jang wonyoung

summary: your girlfriend was never good at keeping secrets, this time not only she catch attention to both of you but she reveals your plans to future.

pairing: jang wonyoung x ive!reader

ive's live was being protagonized by 04 line, already having too much clips since the beginning of it. starship was pretty much careful about them, something about their chemistry and their popular personalities was a thing they needed to take care of, not because the four of you would start some kind of scandal but because you were too much. loud, chaotic, funny, sometimes even forgetting that you were literally idols and you had an image to protect. you were almost fans favorite. on top of that, you were the two popular ships within the group. lizrei and wonyyn quickly became a hot trend the moment you started the live.

wonyoung, who was sitting on your left, was having quite a hard time trying not to look at you with literally her natural heart eyes, whenever you were talking about something you remembered or telling something to dive, even when you just giggle at their comments, wonyoung was mesmerized. her hands found the way to touch you underneath the table, leaving a hand on top of your leg, a habit of hers.

wonyoung gets anxious when she's right next to you and can't touch you. she needs to place her hand on any part of your body to feel safe, whether is your waist, your leg, softly gripping on your clothes, holding hands and stuff like that. some curious dive had notice her hand on your leg and were talking about it but nothing really caught attention. not until miss jang wonyoung screwed it up again.

while talking about christmas and how it was such a holiday filled with love, liz read a comment.

diveinttoive: did you ever plan to get married?

"oh, i think i never really thought about it like that." liz answered.

"yeah me too but yn does for sure. that's even her new year's wish." rei spilled, smiling at you.

"i mean, a ring would look very cute on my finger." you said as you were showing your hand to the camera, having a ring already that wonyoung gave you the day you became girlfriends.

"but you have one." liz pointed out.

"yes, it was a gift from wony. a promise ring." the girl named smiled proudly at the fact. "but i want the engagement ring. that would be so cute." you pouted, caressing the finger where you would place it.

"i think i would look cute as your bridesmaid."

"i think that the five of us would look cute as the bridesmaid." liz added to rei's comment.

"four." wonyoung corrected.

"huh?"

"four of you. i'm not the bridesmaid, i am the bride."

"but i though yn was the one getting married?" liz was confused.

there were almost 5 seconds of pure silence that felt like hell when they both realized what they said.

"so... you're marrying me?" you leaned in the table, head resting in your arm, teasing wonyoung with the most beautiful eyes.

"no—" you raised your eyebrows. "i mean! yes... no!"

rei and liz couldn't hold their laughter at their usually calm friend now getting the blush of her life.

ggaeulsunbbae: wow wonyoung never beating the gay allegations huh

kurakurannie: did this really just happen?

yujinniesbae: they're cute UGH.

"dive are getting wild." liz said while reading the screen.

"wonyoungie are you okay?" rei laughed.

yes, wonyoung couldn't stop the blushing or her heart almost escaping from her chest from beating that fast. you caressed her back, drawing circles trying to calm her down.

"alright, what about you two getting married?" you said, redirecting the target to both liz and rei so that you two could breath.

"wait— what?" liz got nervous.

. . .

"you might got us in trouble, did you know that?" you asked your girlfriend.

now that cameras were off, you were laying down in bed, cuddling wonyoung as she was in top of you like she always do when she needs your kisses and caresses.

"i know!" she sighed. "i just— i just wanted to let them know."

"know what, baby?"

"that we are getting married." she pouts, looking up right in your eyes.

you bite your lip to fight the urge to kiss her, but then you remember. no cameras. so you do, you give her a small kiss and you feel how wonyoung is melting under your hold.

"they're gonna see it someday, i know."

she smiles and it makes your heart feel so warm and safe. you were totally looking forward for the day you could see wonyoung in a long pretty white dress and finally getting to call her your wife.

#ive scenarios #ive #ive x reader #ive fluff #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x fem reader #ive x fem!reader #ive x fem reader #wonyoung fluff

[st4rymoon]

Ok so ive been kinda obsessed with the vampire trope lately, like for the past month yk

On top of vampire stuff, its pussy eater miguel that's been living in my samsung notes

Anyways to ask politely, vampire Miguel por favor 🍴🍴😻😻

No same this vampire trope has been eating away at me…. Miguel vampire sexiness <3 I just know this man wouldn’t give a second thought about it. If you complained about your cramps he’d plop down next to you and convince you to let him not only fuck you, but also eat you out like a mad man while your monthly cycle comes to make your life miserable. He promises he’ll make you feel better and he always does :( !!!

𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 • Vampire Miguel O’Hara x afab reader

- 18+, pussy fiend Mig, bloodplay!, pussy! Eating while reader is on her period, talk about menstrual cycle, unprotected sex, dumbification, lots of talk about blood!, praising, breeding kink, size kink, vampire Mig!, period sex!, possessive Miguel, talks about reader being insecure about her period, pet names, soft dom Mig!

Miguel could smell you from downstairs, the sweet metallic smell of blood was filling his senses. He knew never to bring it up since you were always so anxious about your smell.

He could hear your voice already. I smell? Is it bad?

But it wasn’t in the typical way you’d expect. It was a smell that made him salivate, made him ravenous at the thought of you giving him the pleasure of indulging in his deepest impulsive desires.

He could feel his hands begin to sweat at the image of your legs spread across his desk hazed his mind. He jumped in his seat, the chair screeching back while you burst into the room with a bowl of his favorite fruits.

You took the time to cut them out in star shapes, some even in funky looking spider shapes just to tease him. “I made you some fruit honey” you skittishly smile. He took a deep breath completely ignoring the scent of fruit as your delicious scent grew more potent than before.

You placed the bowl on his desk as you made your way between his legs. You stood in front of him with a loving smile as your fingers messaged through his hair “did I scare you?”

Miguel’s hands hugged around your waist, his head dropping onto your stomach in a grumbled moaned. It was your own smell inviting him in without any words.“a little” he mumbled.

“You smell so good, so so fucking good” Miguel rambled on as he pulled you flush against his lap. You smiled at his words and allowed yourself to straddle him comfortably.

“Can I ask you something and you promise it won’t scare you?” The words were almost inaudible “you don’t need to do anything if you don’t want to ok?” He added.

You perked up at the last sentence, those words always meant something you always ended up loving. “You definitely can” you cooed with a teasing wiggle to your hips.

A rasped moan came out from his throat as he felt you press against his growing member with a tight grip on your arms, holding onto you for dear life.

“You’re on your period yes?” He whispered. “Mmhm” you nodded, your eyebrows raising at the question. “Can I eat you out? I know your going to go on about how your worried about the taste and the smell y todo esa cochinada” he muttered on.

“But you smell so fucking Devine it’s driving me crazy”he panted. Your eyes widened at his request, the grip on you not going unnoticed as you took a deep breath in.

“I- I are you sure mig? I’m on my first 2 days and you know I bleed alo-“ your worries were cut off as Miguel groaned into your shoulder “I know I already, I know that and I don’t give a shit” he practically mewled.

A smile grew on your lips as you now began to hear the desperation in his voice. You could feel Miguel radiating heat, it was as if he was burning at the feeling of you so close to him.

“Ok” you nod. Miguel’s head shot up from your shoulder, that’s all it took? “Ok what?” Miguel perked up “yes I’ll let you eat me out” you cooed.

Miguel was pleased beyond belief. The moan he let out sounded more like a growl as he pushed you onto his desk.

Although you said yes the worry of your own insecurities still lingered. Miguel was tugging your shorts down in a matter of seconds as you leaned onto your elbows.

You closed your legs once you were in your undies, you weren’t one for tampons so the pad was somehow even more embarrassing. “Ah ah don’t get shy, nothing to get nervous about. Nothing to get embarrassed of” Miguel hummed as he pressed soft kisses onto your inner thighs.

“Let me take care of you yeah?” He hummed with lust filled eyes glimmering up at you “I promise you’ll love it, it’ll feel good for the both of us”

You nodded “yes” softly, earning a humming approval. You gasped as he pulled down your panties, the cold air making you shiver as he tossed the clothing behind him.

The look on Miguel’s face was something out of a porno to say the least, his eyes were wide with his hair completely disheveled. You could see him swallow as he licked his lips “for fuck sake” he whispered to himself, the visual infront of him was sinful.

You could see his eyes glow bright red, his fangs peering from under his lips before he dove between your legs.

Miguel was in heaven. This was it, the place everyone told him he’d find peace. The unforgettable taste of your blood was engraving itself into his heart without a doubt. He knew he’d never get over the taste of your honey metallic taste. He moaned into you like a hungry animal as he lapped and licked at your messy cunt.

You were pushed deeper into your elbows as his hands shoved the back of your thighs onto the desk. Your head dangling back as you let out a deprived moan. You had no fucking clue it ever felt this good.

You wished you would’ve agreed to this earlier as Miguel’s thick tongue circled your swollen bud, the visual of his mouth tainted burgundy wasn’t helping the throbbing of your clit.

Miguel rolled his tongue over your tight hole, taking in the warm vital fluid that pumped through your veins like a starved animal. Your elbows gave in as you dropped into the desk, back curling into an arch as he held you still.

The lewd wet sounds coming from you fused with the moans and grunts coming from Miguel were pornographic. Miguel’s grip on you was nothing but harsh as he pried your legs apart. “I love you, I fucking love you” he mumbled.

The pulsing member in his sweats was making him whimper into you and unknowingly making the tingling in your lower belly grow in intensity.

You tugged at his hair as he lapped at your clit, his tongue expertly working you like the strings on a guitar. “Mi- Mig! Oh my fff…” you cried out as a hungry groan rumbled out of him.

“That’s it, let it out f’me let it out” he mumbled with his eyes glowing red at you. He spit out more words of encouragement and before you could take a breath in you were shaking in his arms.

Miguel let out a satisfied chuckle as he felt your clit throbbing on his tongue “feels good huh?” Miguel smiled up at you as drops of blood trickled down his fangs and lips.

You clenched around nothing as you took in the bloody scene in front of you. It was laughable how your hands flew to his sweats, he watched as struggled to tug them down his waist. “That wasn’t enough for you?” He smiled, hands on the band of his sweats as he dropped them to the ground.

“You like seeing me with my mouth covered in blood don’t you? You can’t stop staring at my mouth”

He didn’t bother cleaning off the bloody mess from his face as he pulled you onto the edge of the desk, cock in hand as he rubbed himself between your folds.

He gritted his teeth at the visual of you covering his cock in red and white strokes of color “always so good to me, I’m the luckiest man alive you know that?” He hummed as he pushed into your wet cunt.

You both mewled out in pleasure as he stretched you full, it seemed like no matter how many times he fucked you, it always stung a bit. You purred his name in the most perfect way as he began to move his hips.

Your body seeming to love the intense sensation of Miguel fucking you during your menstrual cycle. It was as if he was breaking you in and feeling you out before he was lucky enough to make you the mother of his children.

He craved for your body to learn the feeling of his cock and the make of his seed so he could assure himself a little spider of his own.

He watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull, the dumb look on your face making him dizzy as you gasped with each thrust. Your nails dug into his arms as he pounded you onto his desk, the wood screeching onto the floor as he marked you as his.

All you could let out were mewls and whimpers as he buried himself deep inside your gushy walls. You didn’t care how messy you were getting once Miguel’s hands wrapped around your abdomen, keeping you in place as he bounced you onto his cock.

The obvious size difference between you both now highlighted by his massive hands holding you still as he used you like his personal toy. “Asi chula? asi te gusta? Que guapa te miras con tus ojitos aguando” he purred.

You nodded at his words even though you couldn’t process a thing. “Te coge tonta? Mira mami en los ojos, mira me por favor” he mocked. You mewled as he squeezed your face to look up at him.

Your eyes dumbly glared up at him as he pounded you harder, your legs trebling as you whimpered with each of his deep thrusts.

Miguel could feel you throbbing which let him know you needed a few more thrusts of his hips and with two deep strokes you were clawing at his arms.

His eyes darted up to your face then down to the mess between the both of you. He watched as your sticky slick grew prominent over the red color of blood, the feeling of you gushing around him pulled out a loud moan from deep within him.

Miguel fell forward, his arms desperately holding himself from falling onto you as he filled your tight cunt full. The sound of both of you panting and moaning making the whole situation even more filthy.

Neither of you could speak for a few seconds as the addictive nature of your orgasms slowly wore off.

“Told you you’d love it”

#smut #marvel smut #kinktober #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara imagines #miguel o hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x reader

[hisui-dreamer]

CONGRATS ON 1K RINNAAAA :((( YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MOOTS EVER AND ITS MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND PROUD THAT YOU HIT THIS MILESTONE!! THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF THE MOST WARM AND WELCOMING PEOPLE IVE MET IN THIS FANDOM <33 YOURE SUCH A GIFT ITS INSANE!!!!!

IM SURE THIS DOESNT SURPRISE YOU BUT!!! for the 1k event i was thinking soulmate au with azul (HEHE) except its the doodle one? LIKE WHERE YOU DOODLE ON YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOULMATES GETS THE SAME MARKINGS YK

and i have a habit of doodling sea creatures like octopi and morays on my arms and hands so i think it'd be cute for him to like, take his gloves off one day and just see a little eel on the back of his hand :((( squishy guy <3333

headcanons or a drabble is totally fine, whichever one is easier for you!!!! thank you for easing me into this fandom :(( i will never be able to thank you enough for making my anxious ass WAY less nervous <3 and no pressure if this doesnt inspire you ofc hehe you're never obligated to write anything !!! :D

the doodles that drew us together

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x gn!reader

Synopsis: Azul thought all his life he didn't have a soulmate...

Tags: soulmates au (doodling), reader is yuu, fluff, comfort, reader likes sea creatures, bot proofread

Word count: 591

Notes: aubbie thank you so much!!! I'm so glad we became moots, you're one of my closest friends and everything I see something azul related I think of you haha! I hope you'll enjoy this azul soulmate au ♪⁠ヽ⁠(⁠･⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠･⁠ゞ⁠)

Masterlist

Azul had been fascinated by the idea of soulmates as a young mer

it was something that gave him hope, that despite all the other mean mers who would make fun of him, there was someone out there who would understand him and love him

and so he kept drawing on his arm, doodles of shells and other fish that caught his eye

but there wasn't any response.

maybe his doodles were too ugly and his soulmate didn't like them?

and so he learned to draw better, drawing again and again, hoping he would get a response

but still not a single mark would appear on him

it had been a tough blow to him, but he eventually accepted that he didn't have a soulmate

if he was going to be alone for all his life, then he had to take care of himself (because nobody would)

he became super greedy and selfish, always prioritising himself and his materialistic needs

although he also had a friendship with the tweels, he really only befriended them because they could help him out (but he did get attached to them over time)

and so, he opened the mostro lounge and became the sly businessman that we all know

on the first day of his second year, as he was going over documents after closing the lounge, he felt a slight tingle in his hand

Azul's eyebrow rose in response to an unexpected sensation. A peculiar warmth, like a gentle caress, emanated from the back of his gloved hand. Intrigued, he swiftly removed his gloves, revealing smooth, pale skin. A gasp of astonishment escaped his lips as his eyes fell upon a minuscule masterpiece, a tiny, adorable octopus delicately inked in pen.

"Is this...real?" Azul murmured, his voice tinged with disbelief. A surge of hope surged through his entire being, dispelling the weight that had burdened him for far too long.

With a trembling hand, he grasped his own pen and cautiously began to sketch his own octopus upon his wrist, with one tentacle reaching out, holding hands with your octopus.

And he can't stop he smile that graces his lips when a little heart appears between the two octopi.

What a hectic day it had been! For a magicless student to arrive in NRC and for him to finally connect with his soulmate!

...?

Oh. Azul had to speak to said magicless student as soon as possible.

when the two of you start being a couple, Azul does everything and anything for you

when you're in exams and your nervously doodling sea creatures, he'll draw some flowers nearby to help calm you down

no he doesn't help you cheat by writing you the answers, he's already given you the perfect study materials, you shoud put in some effort too

he gets jealous if you draw other sea creatures too much though, especially moray eels

he lets you work at the lounge with a very high pay, making sure you're not working too hard, and always offers to tutor you if you're struggling

his soulmate had to go to a different world just to find him, you'll be sure he helps to settle in and hopefully never leave again

Insert clingy octopus wrapping his tentacles all around you because he can't bare to let you go

when you have dates and appointments, he'll help remind you by writing on his arm

this man has waited for you his entire life, he's ready to lay the world down at your feet if you ask him to

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#✧1k! another life✦ #twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #✧auburn🐙✦

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Based on this request.

Can i request maybe an insecure reader who, when her and eddie finally have sex, starts to cry, like they had a normal relationship before but the crying just comes out by surprise (i repress alot🥴) and basically asks/begs him to show her how much he loves her and prove she can be loved/enough, that shes the only one he wants, that girls dont have shit on her and he cant even imagine ever wanting to be with someone else

(Ive been reading alot of cheating fics and fics about eddie fucking other people and am very broken) i was imagining soul crushing, worlds colliding healing wounds slow beautiful sex for the both of them and he loves her so much, he starts crying

Request by anon. Mdni, fluff and soft Eddie.

💌

Eddie lays you on the bed, his hands ghost over your body and he kisses your neck. You moan, everything feels so heightened and your emotions bubble to the surface.

It's when you begin to cry.

All day you've felt off, lost in memories from the past and the feeling that you weren't good enough. Remembering words your exes said to you and last heartbreaks.

Eddie stills, "Shit, what's wrong princess?" You wipe your tears but they won't stop and he kisses them away, looks at you worried.

How can you explain to him how you feel? "Show me you love me Eddie, please show me how much you love me" his fingers ghost over your cheek as he wipes the stray tears away and he softens.

"I love you so much sweetheart, what's this about? you've never cried before during sex? Fuck, did I hurt you? Please tell me I didn't hurt you" he looks so anxious and you soothe him.

"No, no. It's just. I thought guys loved me before and then they left or cheat on me and tell me it's my fault" you knew it wasn't but the words hurt and had clung to you.

"Well they are dickheads. Who could cheat on you? You're incredible. I don't want any other woman because you're the one for me. I'm so lucky to have you in my life princess"

You feel yourself relax a tiny bit but you're still anxious. "You don't want anyone else?"

"Fuck no, I'd never cheat on you princess. Fuck, you're my world. I love you so much sweetheart, I can't imagine being with anyone else because no one compares to you" he kisses you, holds your hand and squeezes it tight as the two of you make love.

It's beautiful and passionate. You and Eddie had never had sex like this, just so gentle and slow, savoring each other.

There's tears in his eyes as he thrusts slowly, his hands clasp yours and you lose yourself in Eddie.

"I love you so much" he whispers, his eyes full of reverence and his voice shakes just a tiny bit. He loves you so much and he will show you that he does every single day.

Because you're everything to him and he never ever wants you to feel unloved. You have his heart and he always wants you to know that.

♥️💌

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie blurb #soft eddie munson

[idolomantises]

I think I’m gonna discuss this once and hopefully never have to bring it up again. Originally I wanted to talk about it on Twitter but people are very disrespectful when it comes to mental health so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Basically, I haven’t been doing so great, mentally. Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m safe and surrounded by people I care about, and it’s been like that for months. I just, I haven’t been feeling good.

For people who do follow me on accounts like Twitter and Instagram, you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since January. I was struggling to feel motivated to make something for my main accounts despite having countless ideas I’d love to work on. I feel better now and do plan on getting something done in March, but that sudden lack of motivation is pretty rare for me. Art is not only my job but a big hobby for me, I just love drawing. I did get some nsfw art done at least.

I don’t know what really prompted my mental health decline, I’ve been getting a few worried messages and fanart because someone insulted my art. But that didn’t hurt me at all, it actually boosted my account and patreon.

I guess I just… got sad?

I have a really bad tendency to suppress and even ignore my trauma and feelings of guilt. And I guess one day I really sat with my thoughts and I just, lost it I guess. I have so much traumatic memories and sudden and intense feelings of self loathing, something I’ve never felt in almost a decade, that it got overwhelming. I couldn’t reassure myself, I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because how do you confront things that happened years ago? You feel almost irrational. It’s just memories that haunt you, it’s nothing physical or tangible and yet it’s a crushing feeling of anxiety, self hatred and resentment.

I was crying almost every day, and crying so much that my eyes kept hurting long after I was done, and I could barely see my own screen. I’ve had paranoid thoughts about myself and others, thoughts I can’t get into because they’re so deeply irrational. I was feeling suicidal urges and thoughts of self harm. I don’t see myself doing it, but it’s so frequent and overwhelming it’s like I’m already planning my suicide note.

I was talking to my therapist about it, that I was starting to hate being alive. That I hated living. That I could spend the next 50 years of my life with no more conflict or trauma and I’d still be in intense misery and turmoil. They’re feelings I couldn’t really bring myself to tell friends about because what could they say? How do you calm yourself down and reassure yourself. I can’t even talk about my trauma verbally without crying. And it’s funny because sometimes minor irks started to affect me negatively. I was feeling anxious about what to draw because I didn’t want to do deal with homophobic backlash.

I went to a therapist, I talked to friends, Ive been working out more and eating better, I did everything I should do to improve my mental health and all of a sudden a single night just sitting in my room destroyed everything I was slowly building up over the past 5 years.

It’s been really difficult for me. I think also, I just felt so much guilt over not being the best person I could be. I decided to lessen my online usage, not just for my mental health but because I really wanted to work on being a better person. I want to stop hating myself and letting my trauma push me down and I want to do just be better and do better as a person. A lot of people have been very forgiving and kind to me but I don’t feel like it’s enough and I want to do more and I want to feel better about myself. I want to give everything I can to people around me. I’ve been going to therapy a lot more lately and things are getting better for me, but it’s been a very slow process.

I just want to repeat that nothing serious has happened to me. Nobody attacked me in a way that negatively affected my health. A lot of people, friends and strangers have been really nice to me these past few months. I just was doing a lot of self reflecting and unintentionally forced myself to confront a lot of my trauma. I’m saying trauma a lot. I don’t want to get into depth about what I endured because it’s my business but people who do know me know how bad things were for me. I don’t want to feel like that again. I want to feel better, and I want to do better.

Sorry for the long read. That’s just how I feel.

#txt #suicide tw #self harm tw #I was very hesitant to discuss this because whenever I talk about mental health it leans into #one side. who are super well meaning but feel obligated to make sure that I’m okay. like I’m their responsibility when I’m just a stranger #online and my thoughts and feelings should never make someone feel like they have to ‘protect’ me #and another side who sees me purposefully be vague about some of the things I discuss like trauma and regret #and just construct their own narrative and get mad at me for it #at this point I’m just too tired to care about the potential backlash of the latter #if you read all this and think I’m saying I did nothing wrong and everyone is bad except for me that’s your fantasy you get to live in #I just want to be honest about my thoughts and feelings