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redstainedglasses · 2 months

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With a final firm tug of the string to ensure it was properly fastened, Vertebrae stepped back and admired her newest bone assortment. They were in a peculiar arrangement but one that seemed to satisfy the clown. With a wide grin she turned to the small bird watching her from his perch nearby. Curiosity present in his wide unblinking red eyes as it looked at the hodgepodge of remains.

“Ok it’s done!” Vertebrae stretched both hands toward her creation. Nodding the bird hopped down from its perch and onto the table for a closer inspection.

“Go on, do it! It has to work, it’s perfect!” Glancing at Vertebrae Scythe showed none of her excitement but still gave a slight nod before lunging toward Vertebrae as he shifted into his weapon form.

Quick hands caught his handle with ease and the jester waited patiently. It didn’t take long after the transformation before they made their appearance. Soft hues of blue and green lights shimmered faintly nearby as the hidden lost souls emerged in the presence of Scythe’s true form.

They often tucked themselves into various nooks and crannies as they waited patiently for their turn to be reaped. With a quick twirl of the weapon’s staff Vertebrae easily hooked one of the souls that approached and in the same motion flung the spirit toward her creation.

As the soul merged with the bones she watched wide eyed. Her hold on Scythe tightening as the pile on the table rattled softly. Releasing Scythe the weapon returned to its avian form and the duo approached the mass of bones as it slowly twitched and gained reanimation.

The process was slow but seemed promising at least to the jester. The grim’s tool started at the abomination with doubt and uncertainty.

Blue light shone in the once empty socket of the once feline skull. The signs of life, or at least what Vertebrae believed as she clapped her hands excited and encouraged her creation.

“Yes yes yes! Wake mijo! wake up!” The bones shifted as the creature struggled to find its footing, trembling on the awkward appendages it now had. Its loosely hanging head turned this way and that, seeming to grow more and more desperate as its consciousness grew.

There was a strange strangled ghastly noise emanating from it now, as it attempted to communicate with no voice. The cautions movements now erratic as it seemed to panic with its increasing awareness.

No more was Vertebrae excited; her smile had vanished as she watched her beloved family tremble and shake. It was unhappy, but…how? She’d listened and she'd followed the order of the bones. Why wasn’t this working?

Carefully she reached out, her pale hand stroking the frantic skull head as gently as she could.

“Estas bien mijo, estoy aqui.” She attempted to comfort but the creature lashed out at her touch. Gnashing its teeth and a strangled screech tearing from its permanently open maw. A voice so different from the she’d heard that had guided her. Pulling away she watched as the frantic creature lashed out more, flailing its limbs as it struggled with itself.

Tears broke free and Vertebrae waved to Scythe. She couldn’t watch this anymore, she had to stop it. This wasn’t right.

Scythe quickly stepped forward and slashed his sharp beak across the bone monstrosity's skull. The blade seemed to swipe through it as it hooked the soul and pulled it free again. The pale blue spirit fled away as Vertebrae hovered over her now still creation.

The bones…they seemed so quiet now. She stared at them silently as she wept but despite her tears she reached out and slowly began to disassemble and rearrange the pile once again.

She’d get this to work. She will.

Scythe looked up at her for a moment but nothing more before hopping back to his perch.

#[ jester jibber jabber ]#-- loss #-- bones #(( another one as I try to get used to writing again before tackling any actual rping shenanigans #(( I wanna go slow and ease myself back in as I fear my nature of diving head first and doing everything would cause me to burn out again #(( might try to do an ask meme or something later and then maybe an open starter/starter call?? but FOR NOW have sad clown hours

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goodfell-ow · 3 months

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everyday is a day i remember the rogue in my campaign rolled a 24 on disadvantage and i weep

#this encompasses my experience running my first dnd campaign #like #they call me dungeon master as a joke bro #dnd5e #d&d #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master speaks #aka the trauma victim speaks #d20 #jabber jester #icarus the rogue

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fiddledydee · 2 months

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Who made the court jester stop laughing

A simple question and yet

Opposition arises when the question is asked

“Not I,” declares the king, his nose up in the air,

“Not I,” claims the queen, arms crossed,

“Not I,” says the prince, chewing at his thumb,

But if not them then who

This is a who

Who what when where why

Who made the court jester stop laughing?

The court jester

Who used to jingle along the hallways

Who would jibber and jabber

His bells fall silent

His dances are careless,

They lack their color,

He lacks color

His face does not frown

It does not smile

He is just there

So I ask again

Who made the court jester stop laughing?

“Not I,” exclaimed the maid, her hand upon her chest,

“Not I,” muttered the knight, his focus far away,

“Not I,” whispered the peasant boy, pushing his small wooden car,

Then who!

Who made the court jester-

A man who entertains and provides

A man who mastered his craft

Who, I demand, made the court jester stop laughing?

“Twas I,” admitted the court jester, his bells hanging loose,

“I grow tired and weary, I am not the same man

My bells don’t jingle and my colors are dull,

Every jester has his time, it is simply mine.”

For it was I who made the court jester stop laughing.

Don’t mind me I’m just in a silly goofy mood~

#poetry #original poem #poems on tumblr #my poem #puzzledcretin #I am the court jester #watch me as I fall #I am the court jester :)#fuck it we ball

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snappedsky · 1 year

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Borderlands: Skies the Ultimate Treasure Hunter

Moxxi has a proposition for Skies.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

The Handsome Jackpot: Introduction

Previously

“So where are we going today?” Skies asked as she followed Jack out of his office.

“The happiest place in the galaxy,” Jack replied, leading her to the fast travel station. He punched in a code and motioned for her to go ahead. Skies cocked her head curiously before using the station.

She appeared in another office much like Jack’s: large, opulent, and heavily decorated with his face. The surrounding walls were made completely of glass and looked out at what appeared to be a city of gold in a space station. It shone brightly, coloured lights dancing into the darkened sky. Just outside the station were two black holes swirling into each other.

“Wow,” Skies breathed in awe.

“Beautiful, right,” Jack said as he approached her. “Welcome to the Handsome Jackpot, my casino and pleasure centre. Just don’t play any of the games- they’re to-ote-tally rigged.”

Skies chuckled with amusement as she turned to follow Jack out of the office. They both stopped as a tiny, well-dressed man approached.

“Ah, H-Handsome Jack, sir, welcome back,” he said in a nasally voice.

“Pretty Boy!” Jack cheered, “Skies, this is Pretty Boy. He’s like a court jester. Pretty Boy, Skies is my guest today. Say something funny for her.”

“Ah, um, well...” Pretty Boy stammered as he fumbled with some cue cards from his pockets. “What uh...what does a baby computer call its father? Data!”

Jack and Skies stared at him, unamused.

“You’re lucky your face is so funny, Pretty Boy, or I’d throw you out the airlock,” Jack grunted.

Pretty Boy withered beneath his gaze.

Skies grinned. “So, you’re Jack’s dancing jabber then. Well, thing’s could be worse. You could be short and ugly- oh, wait.”

“Ha!” Jack guffawed, clapping Skies on the back. “She’s funnier than you, Pretty Boy. Come on, Skies, let’s hit the Vice District. I’ll buy you a drink and a dance.”

As they walked past, Pretty Boy glared daggers into their backs. Someday, somehow, he swore he would have his revenge for this constant humiliation.

---

Now

The Sky Rider approaches Sanctuary III, directed by it’s auto-navigation system. When it get close enough, it automatically releases a signal. Within the larger ship, an alarm goes off in the cargo hold, warning everyone nearby to stay out. A force field opens up around the hatchway, vacuum sealing it as the hatch opens. The Sky Rider slips inside, settling neatly on the floor. The hatch closes, the force field drops, and everyone continues about their day.

Inside the cockpit of the Sky Rider, the pilot’s seat is completely empty. This is because she’s in the backroom, fast asleep in her bunk.

Skies the Ultimate Treasure Hunter had been away for a few weeks on a treasure hunting binge. She had been going non-stop from planet to planet, collecting gold, jewels, and artifacts. When she finally felt burnt out, she decided to return to her new home.

She’s conked out on her bed, snoring lightly and dreaming of treasures and murder. Her sweet sleep is unfortunately interrupted however, by a rapping at her door, and she blinks awake. Groaning, she rolls out of bed and shambles out of her room to the ship’s hatch. She opens it to find the Vault Hunters- Moze, Zane, Amara, and FL4K.

“Nice jammies,” Zane comments.

Skies looks down at her clothes: soft socks, fuzzy, black pants, and an old, baggy Hyperion sweatshirt.

“What do you guys want?” Skies asks, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

“Moxxi wants to see you,” Moze replies, “she has a proposition.”

“Hm, colour me intrigued,” she remarks, “tell her I need like ten minutes to get cleaned up.” She pauses to sniff under her arm and winces. “Make that twenty.”

The Vault Hunters leave and Skies goes into her washroom, yawning as she starts the shower.

She quickly cleans up, washing away weeks old blood stains- not hers. She changes into clean clothes, grabs her weapons, and leaves the Sky Rider, locking it behind her.

As Skies makes her way through Sanctuary III up to Moxxxi’s, many of the citizens greet her; they wave, ask how she’s doing and where she’s been. She replies happily.

The Vault Hunters are sitting at the bar when Skies arrives. Moxxi is behind it and she leans against it as Skies approaches.

“Welcome back, Skies,” she smiles.

“Thanks, Mox,” she replies as she sits on a stool. “So what’s up?”

“I have a proposition for you,” she explains, “not a job. Just something I think we can both benefit from.”

“Go on.”

“Do you know the Handsome Jackpot?” “Of course, Jack’s casino. He brought me there a couple times.”

“It’s one of the few things Jack left behind that I’m interested in,” Moxxi says then winks. “Except you, of course.” Skies smirks.

“So if you help the Vault Hunters take it over for me, I’ll let you have whatever treasure hides inside.” “It’s a tempting offer, Mox,” Skies muses, “Jack did treat the place like his own personal piggy bank. There’s just one problem. With Helios and Control Core Angel gone, it’s now the most secure fortress in the galaxy. Everything with locks on it needs Jack’s face, voice, and DNA to open it. We’d never be able to take control.”

“I figured as much,” Moxxi replies, “fortunately, you have a friend that can help rectify this.” Skies scowls. “Oh, so that’s the real reason you want me help.”

“Of course not. I would’ve accepted your help even if we didn’t need him.”

“I can’t ask Tim to do this. He’s happy now. He even found a way to live peacefully with Jack’s face. He got out of this life and I will not drag him back in.”

“Come on,” Moxxi urges, “it won’t hurt to just ask him. Let me, and if he says no, we’ll drop it.” Skies scoffs. “If you ask him, then there’s no way he’ll say no.”

Moxxi smiles gently but with a sinister look in her eye and holds out her hand. Skies groans, rolling her eyes as she grabs her ECHO communicator and calls Timothy Lawrence.

“Wassup?” he answers.

“Tim, listen, just remember, it’s always okay to just say no,” Skies says quickly before Moxxi swipes the device.

“Timothy,” she purrs.

“Wha-Mo-Moxxi?” he stammers with surprise.

“I need a great big favour from you,” she says in a sultry tone, “and if you help me, I’ll repay you in any way you ask.”

Skies and the Vault Hunters groan with annoyance.

“Uh um wha-what do you need...?” Timothy asks.

“Jack left behind an old casino,” Moxxi explains, “I just need your face and DNA to unlock any security measures so I can take over the casino. You won’t be alone, of course, Skies and the Vault Hunters will be going too.” “Um....” he hesitates.

“You don’t have to do it, Ti-!” Skies tries to warn but Moxxi slams her face into the counter top, cutting her off.

“Y-yeah, I guess...I can help...”

“Fantastic!” Moxxi cheers, “just fast travel to Sanctuary- I can send you codes- and from here you can all go to the casino together.”

“O-okay,” Timothy replies and hangs up.

Moxxi hands Skies her ECHO back. She swipes it angrily, rubbing her face.

“What are you so worried about?” Moxxi asks, “you’ll make sure no harm comes to him, right?”

Skies grumbles and leaves in a huff. The Vault Hunters follow close behind.

“I have to admit, I am a bit confused,” FL4K says.

“As am I,” Amara adds, “this Timothy is clearly a friend of yours. He has Jack’s face...? Like as a trophy?”

“It’s hardly a trophy,” Skies replies, “Tim was one of Jack’s doppelgangers- the first and the last. It made his life a living hell, having to work for Jack, even after he died. He finally found a way to leave peacefully- making parody movies of Jack’s life, which are hilarious by the way. I hate having to drag him into this.”

They approach the fast travel station and Skies leans against a nearby table, glowering angrily. But her fury quickly subsides, to be replaced with excitement, as the station turns on and someone digistructs in.

Skies giggles happily and leaps into his arms before he’s even fully in. “Tim tam!”

Timothy smiles and hugs her back, spinning her off her feet. “Skies! It’s been so long.”

“Well, somebody’s been busy being a successful actor.”

“And somebody else has been busy being a successful treasure hunter.” They both laugh as they split up. “You look good,” Skies comments.

“As good as Jack?” Timothy asks.

“Jack wishes he looked this good.”

They laugh again, squeezing each other’s arms. Behind them, Zane awkwardly clears his throat, catching their attention.

“Oh, right,” Skies says and steps back, motioning to the Vault Hunters. “Tim, this is Moze, Amara, Zane, and FL4K. Kids, this is Timothy Lawrence.” “I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” Timothy says, waving politely.

“All good, I hope,” Moze replies.

“Well...good for a Vault Hunter.” They suddenly feel the ship lurch and look out the window to see they’ve entered hyper space.

“We must be on our way to the casino,” Skies says, “come on, we’ll use Ellie’s drop ship to get there.”

The group makes there way through the ship to the cargo hold. Many Pandoran citizens stare at Timothy, muttering to each other.

“Been a long time since I got stares like that,” Timothy mutters.

“Ignore them,” Skies demands, “they used to stare at me too.”

“So uh what are we expecting from this place?” he asks, “enemies?”

“Who knows,” Amara replies, “so be prepared for anything.”

“Should be lots of fun though,” Zane grins.

When they reach the cargo hold, they start to go to the drop ship when Skies stops. “Ah, hold on a sec.”

She quickly goes into the Sky Rider and comes back out, holding Jack’s mask. “We’ll probably need this,” she says as she tucks it into her coat.

They all squeeze into the drop ship. Ellie gives them a salute before sending it off. They watch through the window as they approach the bright and shining space station and get caught in a tractor beam.

“The casino’s got a hold of you,” Moxxi warns through their ECHO communicators. “Strap in.”

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #borderlands fanfiction #borderlands au #borderlands oc #myocs #myart

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lafflanes · 1 year

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i decided to write down all the names on the name generator in Toontown Rewritten for convenience sake (since the TTR wiki doesnt seem to have it, and TTR has more names in the name generator than TTO did), and i thought itd be useful for other people as well!!

the list is under the cut, theres a looooot of names so i just grouped them by letter

please let me know if i left out or misspelled anything!

Title: Aunt Baron, Big Cap'n, Captain, Chef, Chief, Coach, Colonel, Cool, Count, Crazy Daring, Deputy, Dippy, Doctor, Dr., Duke Fancy, Fat Good ol', Grand ol', Granny, Grumpy Judge King Lady, Little, Loopy, Loud, Lucky Madame, Master, Miss, Mister, Mr., Mrs. Noisy Prince, Princess, Prof. Queen Sergeant, Sheriff, Silly, Sir, Skinny, Super Ugly Weird

First: Abigail, Albert, Alice, Alvin, Angel, April, Arnold, Astrid, Astro, Aurora B.D., Banjo, Barbara, Barney, Bart, Batty, Beany, Beatrix, Bebop, Becky, Bella, Bentley, Beppo, Bert, Billy, Bingo, Binky, Biscuit, Bizzy, Blinky, Bob, Bonbon, Bongo, Bonkers, Bonnie, Bonzo, Boo Boo, Boots, Bouncey, Bridget, Bruce, Bubbles, Bud, Buford, Bumpy, Bunky, Buster, Butch, Buzz C.J., C.W., Candy, Carol, Casper, Cecil, Chester, Chewy, Chip, Chipper, Chirpy, Chunky, Claire, Clancy, Clara, Clarence, Cliff, Clover, Clyde, Coconut, Comet, Cookie, Corky, Corny, Cranky, Crazy, Cricket, Crumbly, Cuckoo, Cuddles, Curly, Curt Daffodil, Daffy, Daphne, Darla, Dave, Davey, David, Dee Dee, Dinky, Dizzy, Domino, Dot, Dottie, Drippy, Droopy, Duchess, Dudley, Duke, Dusty, Dynamite Elmer, Ernie Fancy, Fangs, Felix, Finn, Fireball, Flapjack, Flappy, Fleabag, Flint, Flip, Flora, Fluffy, Freckles, Fritz, Frizzy, Funky, Furball Gale, Garfield, Gary, Giggles, Ginger, Graham, Grouchy, Gulliver, Gus, Gwen Hans, Harry, Harvey, Hazel, Hector, Holly, Hoppy, Huddles, Huey J.C., J.J., Jack, Jackie, Jacques, Jade, Jake, Jay, Jazzy, Jellyroll, Jenny, Jester, Jimmy, Johnny, Jonah, Joyce Kiki, Kippy, Kit, Knuckles Ladybug, Lancelot, Leo, Leonardo, Leroy, Lily, Lionel, Lloyd, Lollipop, Loony, Loopy, Louie, Lucky, Lucy, Lulu Mabel, Mac, Maggie, Marigold, Mary, Max, Maxie, Maxwell, Melody, Midge, Midnight, Mildew, Miles, Milton, Mitzi, Mo Mo, Moe, Molly, Monty, Murky Nathan, Ned, Nelly, Nutmeg, Nutty Octavia, Olaf, Olive, Olivia, Orville, Oscar, Oswald, Ozzie P.J., Pancake, Patsy, Patty, Peaches, Peanut, Pearl, Pebbles, Penelope, Penny, Pepper, Peppy, Petunia, Phil, Pickles, Pierre, Pinky, Pippy, Poe, Popcorn, Poppy, Presto, Punchy Rainbow, Raven, Reggie, Rhubarb, Ricky, Robin, Rocco, Rodney, Roger, Rollie, Romeo, Rory, Roscoe, Rose, Rosey, Rosie, Rover, Roxy, Ruby, Rusty Sadie, Sally, Salty, Sammie, Sandy, Sassy, Scooter, Skids, Skip, Skipper, Skippy, Slippy, Slumpy, Smirky, Smudge, Snappy, Sneezy, Sniffy, Snuffy, Soupy, Spiffy, Spike, Spotty, Spunky, Squeaky, Star, Stinky, Stripey, Stubby, Sunny, Sunshine, Susan, Sylvia Taffy, Tammy, Teddy, Tegan, Tex, Tom, Tricky, Trixie, Truffles, Tubby, Tutu, Twister Ursula Valentine, Velma, Veronica, Vicky, Violet, von Wacko, Wacky, Waldo, Wally, Wendy, Wesley, Whiskers, Whitney, Wilbur, William, Willow, Winnie Yappy, Yippie Z.Z., Zach, Zachary, Zany, Ziggy, Zilly, Zippety, Zippy, Zoinks, Zowie

Last (first part): Bagel, Banana, Barnacle, Bean, Beanie, Biggen, Bizzen, Blubber, Boingen, Bumber, Bumble, Bumpen Cheezy, Crinkle, Crumble, Crunchen, Crunchy, Cuddle Dandy, Dizzen, Dizzy, Doggen, Dyno Electro Feather, Fiddle, Fizzle, Flippen, Flipper, Flower, Fluffen, Frazzle, Frinkel, Fumble, Funny, Fuzzy Giggle, Glitter, Google, Grumble, Gumdrop Honey, Huckle, Hula Jabber, Jeeper, Jelly, Jiffy, Jiggle, Jingle, Jinx, Jumble Kooky Laffen, Lemon, Loopen Mac, Mc, Mega, Mizzen Nickel Octo Paddle, Pale, Pedal, Pepper, Petal, Pickle, Pillow, Pinker, Poodle, Poppen, Precious, Pumpkin, Purple Razzle, Rhino, Riddle, Robo, Rocken, Ruffle Slimey, Smarty, Snaggle, Sniffle, Snorkel, Sour, Spackle, Sparkle, Squiggle, Super, Swinkle Thunder, Tinker, Toppen, Tricky, Tweedle, Twiddle, Twinkle Wacky, Weasel, Whisker, Whistle, Wild, Witty, Wonder, Wrinkle Ziller, Zippen, Zooble

Last (second part): batch, bee, beep, berry, blabber, bocker, boing, boom, bop, bounce, bouncer, brains, bubble, bumble, bump, bumper, burger, butter chomp, corn, crash, crumbs, crump, crunch dazzle, doodle, dorf face, fidget, fink, fish, flap, flapper, flinger, flip, flipper, fluff, fuddy, fussen gabber, gadget, gloop, glop, glow, goober, goose, grin, grooven, grump hoffer, hopper jinks klunk, knees loop, loose marble, mash, masher, melon, mew, monkey, mooch, muddle, muffin, mush nerd, noodle, nose, nugget paws, phew, phooey, pocket, poof, pop, pounce, pow, pretzel quack roni scooter, screech, smirk, snooker, snoop, snout, socks, son, song, sparkles, speed, spinner, splat, sprinkles, sprocket, squeak, sticks, stink, swirl tail, teeth, thud, toes, ton, toon, tooth, twist whatsit, whip, whirl, wicket, wig, wiggle, wire, woof zaner, zap, zapper, zilla, zoom, zoop

#doing this made my brain turn to soup #also i find it so amusing that cookie is a name in the generator #anyone who follows my main can probably guess why lmao #strato says #toontown #toontown rewritten #save

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