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junnieverse · 7 months

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✧ — JUNNIEVERSE PRODUCTIONS

PRESENTS !

" spill your guts "

... Olivia Rodrigo's GUTS album

x ENHYPEN !

WELCOME 💌 : hi everyone, so this is officially my first ever series so thank you very much for being here. I am without a doubt in love with not only olivia's sour album but her guts album too that has been on repeat on my spotify every day. I soon grew inspired to write some oneshots for the enhypen members with songs from this album and I can only hope you all like them.

I also wanted to make sure that these songs gave off a vibe that linked to a certain member and I could easily think of a plot with that member and the song so it wasn't easy since I wanted it to all come out 'perfect' but albeit it was also really fun to immerse myself into these songs and write the stories so I just hope that you all enjoy my work.

I do want to give a small disclaimer too that this is ofcourse pure fictional work and I do not in any way perceive the members to be as toxic or have any traits like how they are in these stories. (Y/n) isn't much of a saint either in a few of these but they are simply a wounded character. Don't hate the character, hate their actions (well maybe we can tomato this toxic enha /hj).

once again, thank you all so much, I appreciate your support greatly :)

— this is mars signing out !

PAIRING : enhypen x reader

GENRE : angst , slightly suggestive , very little to no fluff

WARNINGS : toxic enhypen , mentions of infidelity , mentions of alcohol/drinking , swearing , mentions of insecurities , possibly suggestive language being used , etc

STATUS : ongoing

TAGLIST : open

(either comment or send an ask to be added, no dms pls)

✧ — [ 6 / 7 ] members completed !

✦ track 01 : logical

⨾ featuring yang jungwon

— you had known from the beginning that your relationship with jungwon was far from perfect, many would simply put it as toxic because of how manipulative he was but you were too blinded by love that all the lies and deceit felt meaningless. it was too late before you realised how dysfunctional it all was, love wasn't logical after all.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 02 : making the bed

⨾ featuring lee heeseung

— he was unattainable and yet you still wanted him. pretending to be someone you weren't putting yourself in difficult positions simply for his attention. with every move you made, it seemed you were digging yourself a deeper hole for a one sided love and through it all you were losing not only the people who cared about you but yourself.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 03 : the grudge

⨾ featuring park jongseong

— "forgive and forget" they'd say, if only they knew it wasn't that easy. jay was one of the people you trusted the most and he only betrayed your trust, no matter how much you tried to forgive him, you knew it would take alot of strength to heal from what he put you through and letting go of the grudge you held against him would be a long journey.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 04 : get him back !

⨾ featuring sim jaeyun

— despite having ended things with jake you were conflicted between hating the man and loving him all in one. you missed all the happy memories between the two of you but it was even harder to forget all the hurt he put you through. revenge is best served sweet, maybe it's time you get him back!

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 05 : bad idea right ?

⨾ featuring park sunghoon

— you were completely over sunghoon, no feelings for him whatsoever... or atleast that's what you would tell your friends. he was no good for you and yet no matter how many other guys came your way, sunghoon was the only one on your mind, maybe reconnecting as 'friends' would be fine, it wasn't a bad idea... right?

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 06 : love is embarrassing

⨾ featuring kim sunoo

— you felt like a complete fool. you told everyone he was 'the one' but seeing sunoo with someone else hit you like a truck. it was humiliating having to deal with the fact that you so easily fell for him and yet he had his eyes set on someone else. you knew you had to let him go and yet you were still holding on onto false hope.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 07 : vampire

⨾ featuring nishimura riki

— the ever so loved and popular ni-ki, cherished and adored by everyone for his fame and popularity and yet here you were laughing bitterly at how naïve and blinded you were by him. he would tell you how much he loved you but it had already been too late before you realised how he used you to get where he was, draining everything in you like a vampire.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

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junnieverse · 7 months

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MAKING THE BED ➳ L. HEESEUNG

➙ synopsis: he was unattainable and yet you still wanted him. pretending to be someone you weren't putting yourself in difficult positions simply for his attention. with every move you made, it seemed you were digging yourself a deeper hole for a one sided love and through it all you were losing not only the people who cared about you but yourself.

pairing: lee heeseung x afab!reader

genre: angst, suggestiveness towards the end if you squint hard enough, unrequited love au?

word count: 0.8k

warnings: not proofread, reader is somewhat... obsessed with heeseung, mentions of alcohol/drinking

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

"You've made your bed so lie in it." you tell yourself looking into the mirror wiping off your make up and the dry runny mascara you had from crying earlier on.

Everything was falling apart and only you were to blame.

But the same questions continued to swirl around your mind.

'Why couldn't he choose you?'

'Were you not good enough for him?'

'Why did Lee Heeseung never look your way?'

All you had ever wanted was for the notorious Heeseung to give you atleast a small bit of time and attention and no matter what you did he never seemed to even linger your direction.

Well that was until he finally did.

This was a skillfully plotted and attentive plan you had set all for popularity and Heeseung.

You had moulded yourself like clay to fit right into Heeseung's groupie.

You had went from drinking and partying where he was to slowly befriending his own friends just to get closer to him.

Your friends had tried to stop you multiple time, said you weren't acting like yourself anymore and what you were doing was... well, 'stalker-ish'

You knew deep down you had to stop, you were going too far just for someone who couldn't even give you the time of day before and the ones who did were slowly leaving you.

Admittedly, this was something you regretted now.

Changing out of your bodycon mini dress, you put on some pyjamas and climb into bed pulling the covers over your head as you cried yourself to sleep.

Was this karma, you ruined your own life for your own selfish reasons that were meaningless to you now.

"Stop! STOP!" you yell out pushing the brakes but to no avail the car was still going at full speed.

You were losing control from the steering wheel after crossing a red light and all you could hear were the cars honking and the front lights blinding you making the road hard to see.

Why couldn't you stop, you just wanted to gain control again before you swerved off the road.

Jolting up awake you feel a sudden cold swear run down your spine as you still calm down from the intense dream you had just woken up from.

This wasn't the first time you'd had this dream, it would reoccur more lately and this seemingly attested to how much your life was spiralling out of control.

You had put in so much of your time and efforts building shallow relationships for those few minutes of popularity around campus building a facade of someone you never were for somebody who didn't pay any mind to you in the beginning.

And when you finally did get Lee Heeseung's attention, it was... suprisingly unfulfilling.

Yes, you finally did it but at the cost of your happiness and personal identity.

Heeseung simply knew you at the surface level but he didn't know the true you, he never batted an eye at you before you 'changed'.

You pushed away all the people who knew who you really were and you missed that feeling.

Missed the feeling of not having to hide who you were behind layers of heavy makeup and short uncomfortable dresses.

Trying to impress a group of shallow people who only cared about their social image and presence yet never had time to get to know you but would only call you when they wanted to get drunk in clubs in fear of being out drinking alone.

"Hee- heeseung-" you urge stopping the boy who was kissing along your neck with his arms wrapped comfortably around your waist.

"I can't keep doing this. This- this isn't me." you tell him with your hands removing his from your small frame as he depicted a puzzled expression not understanding where this was going.

You were unhappy.

This 'full proof' plan of yours went into shambles.

All you had ever wanted was Heeseung, that was the entire reason you even spent so much time crafting everything and when you got finally got him, you only lost yourself.

You couldn't let yourself keep living like this, building fake relationships with people you never really liked to begin with just for a small boost in the social hierarchy, you wouldn't let it happen any longer.

"Maybe it's best we end this... whatever this even is." you tell him getting off his lap but before he could even plea with you, you were quick to stop him.

Directing Heeseung out the house, you closed the door behind him and let out a sigh of relief as you sunk down to the floor leaning on the door.

It was all over now.

You lost so many genuine people and yourself all for someone else and now you had to work towards gaining all of that back and rebuilding those sincere connections.

In the end, the popularity and Heeseung were never worth it.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee

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junnieverse · 6 months

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GET HIM BACK ! ➳ S. JAEYUN

➙ synopsis: despite having ended things with jake you were conflicted between hating the man and loving him all in one. you missed all the happy memories between the two of you but it was even harder to forget all the hurt he put you through. revenge is best served sweet, maybe it's time you get him back!

pairing: jake sim x afab!reader

genre: angst, a tinge of fluff, fwbs to lovers to exes au

word count: 1.8k

warnings: not proofread, mentions of alcohol/drinking, hinted infidelity, swearing

a/n: we've made it halfway..? well there's 3 members left so this is great progress, please don't forget to check out the other members oneshots too and reblogs are highly appreciated, mwah <33

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

You had no intention of doing what you just did, if anything, you were just as shocked as Jake was in this moment.

Looking at the cream on your hands, you give your finger a lick as you hum in satisfaction at the good sugary taste.

But how did you get here in the first place? Why were you and your friends crashing your ex's birthday party and how did Jake Sim end up with an entire cake thrown at his face?

Simple, he broke your heart and you wanted to get revenge and boy did you get him good.

You had met Jake in the summer of 2021 at a party you had went to with a couple of friends and he was more than obviously trying to hook up but you weren't one to easily give in.

"How about I get you a drink in exchange for a dance with you?" he says as he bit his lower lip briefly raising an eyebrow and you couldn't deny how attractive the man was.

You let the boy chase after you for a bit before you gave in and decided to start a consentual friends with benefits relationship.

Like most it ended with feelings being caught and you both agreed to officially start going out as a couple not long after.

Jake was not only funny and smart but he sure was the life of the party everywhere he went.

There was never a night you went out together be it to a club, bar or house party and atleast one person wouldn't approach him claiming to know him from somewhere.

Despite being such a peoples person, Jake usually liked staying with his usual group of friends, yeah they were a little more chaotic and weird than what you were used to but they were just as fun to be around.

"Wait didn't your friend say he was 6'0 feet tall?" you ask Jake with a drink in your hand as he had his arms comfortably draped around your waist as you were seated on his lap.

"He is, why?" he asks you looking over at Sunghoon playing beer pong across the room.

Letting out a tsk you look at your boyfriend before shaking your head, "Jake you told me you were 6'2 and Hoon is clearly taller than you. Nice try dude." to which Jake scratches the back of his neck laughing at the fact that he so obviously got caught.

It was a great relationship, you felt like you were always having the time of your life with Jake but he wasn't the best partner either.

"Uhm (y/n), isn't that Jake over there..?" your best friend says beside you whispering over the loud music.

Across the room you spot him talking to your very clearly uncomfortable friend who was trying to get away from Jake who was flirting with her.

You had heard countless rumours about Jake's playboy ways.

That was one of the main reasons you didn't want to date him in the first place but you had thought maybe he was done with that lifestyle and that he wanted to be in a serious committed relationship with you, but you were clearly wrong.

"What if he can change though, yeah it sounds crazy but maybe i can fix him." you would tell your friends during your get together as they laughed at what you had just said.

"(Y/n), you can't just 'fix' people, I'm sure even you realise that but you're in denial. Let him go, Jake is never gonna change." one of them says in response as the others agree with hums and nods.

Maybe if you had just listened to them back then, all of this heartbreak would've been avoided.

He had played you multiple times now but everytime you would confront Jake about it, he couldn't seem to spot anything he had done wrong and would never apologise for his actions or even acknowledge how he hurt your feelings.

Instead, he would shower you with all these unnecessary gifts to try and win you over, the one that takes the cup had to be the time he flew you to France after he forgot your anniversary and stood you up during you date.

Come Spring of 2022, things between you and Jake seemingly fizzled out after you realised you had had enough and your friends were right.

There was no reason for you to stay with someone who couldn't prioritise you.

Jake had an ego bigger than his head, a very bad temper and a wandering eye, this relationship was bound to fall in the eyes of others from the very beginning but you still gave it a chance.

"This is the third time this week you're writing him a letter. Girl stand up. You need to detox this man out of your system." your best friend grabs the paper from your table looking at the cruched up papers inside your trashcan next to you.

You just couldn't help yourself.

You... missed Jake.

From the way he would hold and kiss you to the places he would take you but you knew how disappointed your friends would be if they were to ever hear you say you miss your toxic ex boyfriend.

Hell you would be disappointed too.

This was a man that pretty much played you for months.

He would sweet talk his way into your heart and tell you that you were the only girl but that was never true.

You were just another fling to Jake and it hurt, how was he doing so okay living his best life and you were here sulking over him wishing things could've been different between the two of you.

"Would you bail me out if i were to key his car?" you lean on your folded arms across the table as your best friend plopped on your bed.

"I wouldn't recommend doing that. I thought we went over this that day you tried calling his mom. Why did you want to call her anyway?" she asks lifting up her head to look at you as you giggled softly thinking about it.

"I wanted to tell her that her son sucks." you respond as she laughs alongside you now realising how funny that probably would've been had you went through it.

"Fuck him honestly." you said standing up from your chair as you felt the anger boiling inside of you at the thought of your past relationship.

Not only were you obviously mad at Jake but you were mad at yourself, because why did you feel so sad over missing him.

"This is gonna sound wild, but I have the craziest idea." you say looking at Jake's instagram story before looking up to your friend who was telling you to go on.

Which now brings you to your current predicament in this moment.

You gathered up your group of friends and dressed to the nines getting ready to head out to Jake's party he had posted on his story.

You knew it wasn't the most rational decision to make going to your ex's birthday celebration to ruin it but if it's one thing your relationship with Jake taught you, it was living on the edge… which also included making bad decisions along the way.

"(Y/n)… w-what are you doing here?" Jake stutters approaching you not acknowledging your friends beside you as he gives you a one look admiring your outfit.

That was your step one of your plan, to look completely irresistible at this party and simply make heads turn and even more, Jake would be drooling at the sight of you.

"It's your birthday silly, what, you thought i wouldn't show up after we broke up?" you ask him rhetorically as you get closer to him leaving a soft peck on his jaw knowing that was one of his soft spots.

As civil as you were being right now, you were holding back everything in you to not kiss uppercut him in the face because that would ruin everything.

You didn't have much planned to begin with, you just knew showing up to this party glowing would push Jake over the edge and irk him and that was enough to satisfy you.

All you wanted to do was to make him feel jealous and you wanted him to feel bad for ever hurting you, 'operation: get him back!' your friends called it.

But soon everything took an entire 180.

"I think we should head out now, this party is kinda boring." your friend says seeming as though she was in a rush to leave as her eyes keep shifting to look behind you.

Turning around to look where her eyes were, you catch Jake with his arms around a girl as they danced in the middle of the dance floor.

"Well how about we make the party a bit more fun then." you tell her with a devilish smile as you look around the room and spot the untouched birthday cake on a table nearby.

Gently lifting the cake making sure to not drop it despite being slightly (very) intoxicated, you walk up to Jake giving his shoulder a small tap as he turned around to face you and before you both knew it Jake was covered in cake.

All you could do was let out a small laugh in pure shock at what had happened as everyone around you stood in just as much shock.

"Happy birthday Jake." you tell him sweetly still very much moving based off your drunk decisions right now.

Jake on the other hand was still processing the fact that he just got caked in the face at his birthday party not only in front of all his friends but his ex did it.

"Uhh, I think now would be a good time for us to get out of here." your one friend whispers pulling your arm seeing as you were unmoving.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you ran out the house with your friends, turning back around you notice a flabbergasted Jake wiping the cake off his face yelling for you to get back as he screamed a bunch of profanities leaving the room quiet.

"I guess you were right. I did need to detox him out and getting revenge was the perfect way. He's gonna love me and hate me at the same time." you say as you got into the car as your friend in the driver's seat speedily drove further away from the party.

"I didn't know you had that in you. That was insane." one of them says giving you a high five as she watches the recording she got of the entire ordeal.

Revenge was indeed best served sweet.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @jennaissera

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junnieverse · 6 months

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BAD IDEA RIGHT ? ➳ P. SUNGHOON

➙ synopsis: you were completely over sunghoon, no feelings for him whatsoever... or atleast that's what you would tell your friends. he was no good for you and yet no matter how many other guys came your way, sunghoon was the only one on your mind, maybe reconnecting as 'friends' would be fine, it wasn't a bad idea... right?

pairing: park sunghoon x afab!reader

genre: slightly suggestive, a little angst, tutor x student trope, fwb to lovers to exes (to somewhat fwb again) au

word count: 1.5k

warnings: not proofread, mentions of rain, swearing, mentions of drinking (wine), shirtless sunghoon, shh

a/n: thank you for the support you've all given this series so far everyone, please don't forget to reblog if you enjoyed this, that would be of great support too!

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

Hearing your phone ring for the third time in the past thirty minutes, you excuse yourself from your group of friends playing uno and go up to check your phone by the living room wall charging.

Looking over at the caller id on the screen, your eyes immediately light up but just as quickly you feel yourself deflate reading the contact name, 'LOSER NOT WORTH MENTIONING' who happened to be your ex boyfriend Park Sunghoon.

It must've been one of those nights you thought to yourself, he only ever calls you when he's feeling lonely and wanted some... company.

You had known Sunghoon through your professor when they needed you to tutor a particular student and there they introduced you two to each other and the physical attraction between the both of you was undeniable.

And that's when everything changed.

You used to be a nervous wreck in front of him, it was like your brain froze around him and you would always malfunction whenever he got too close to you when you were helping him with his school work.

The tutoring sessions soon turned into the both of you meeting in corners of hallways to sneak little kisses before lectures, to going under the bleachers to make out and then even going to each other's apartments to 'keep each other warm' on rainy days (as well as perfectly sunny days), you were both completely obsessed with being around and touching each other.

It didn't take long for Sunghoon to confess his attraction towards you and suggest you both officially going out as a couple to which you agreed to… despite your friends telling you to not do it.

They knew his reputation, everyone did including yourself but you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't as much of a womaniser as he was portrayed to be.

Before starting to date Sunghoon, you weren't the only girl he was seeing, you just thought you were (just like all the others thought) and your friends were quick to see past the bullshit and tell you about it but you were blinded by love.

"I really think this thing you have going on with Sunghoon is a bad idea, you deserve better." your friend says to you while you both were walking together to your next lecture together.

"C'mon, just give him a chance, Hoon really isn't that bad of a guy as he's made out to be, I get to see the sweeter side of him most of you don't." you respond and your gaze suddenly landed on Sunghoon talking to a close friend of his a few feet away from you.

Quickly bidding your friend a bye telling them you would be right back, you make your way to Hoon leaving your friend disprited after their failed attempts to get you away from Sunghoon.

Despite how you thought your relationship would be flourishing, your break up with Sunghoon was one that came after alot of pondering and arguments with him.

It was evident that besides the strong physical and sexual attraction you both had for each other, emotionally he wasn't as invested and it felt one sided.

In the end, you knew you couldn't settle in a relationship with someone who didn't like you as much as you liked them, you just wish you saw the incompatibility a little earlier.

After the break up, you had still kept in contact with Sunghoon deciding to just remain… friends but it was more than clear to your group of friends that Sunghoon wanted a bit more than just a friendship with you.

Hearing a sudden notification from your phone after the several missed calls that were left, you notice the text messages Sunghoon was sending you.

LOSER NOT WORTH MENTIONING :

- Hey, haven't seen you in awhile

- Just got a new place so how about you come over and maybe we can hangout and catch up

- Here's my address, xxx-xxx-xxx

- See you soon pretty

Reading over the messages again in your head, you convince yourself that you were unaffected and composed.

You were completely over Sunghoon, whatever you both had, unresolved feelings and all, they were gone.

Although, were you actually considering going over to your ex's place to see him..?

You knew very well this was no good, a very bad idea your friends would've been completely against but you decided to follow your irrational thoughts.

"Fuck it it's fine." you whisper under your breath before grabbing your phone and car keys and rushing to put on your shoes to leave.

"Uhh, so something came up and I gotta go but I will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye guys!" you tell them leaving without giving them a chance to respond nor a proper reason as they all looked at each other confused but knowingly.

"She's going over to Sunghoon's huh?" your one friend asks rhetorically looking at the front door you had just rushed out of as your other friends shake their heads knowing there wasn't much they could do now.

Running over to your car, you were immediately hit by the heavy rain outside and you felt instantly relieved once inside considering how drenched you'd become in those few seconds.

This wasn't the first time Sunghoon would call you over to 'keep him company' at home when he was alone since you had broken up and you knew this was foolish of you and you had tried to stop.

Having the good friends you had, they always tried to help you detach from Sunghoon which had worked in the beginning for a few months where you had completely cut him off, not hearing anything from him but he soon reached out to you after some time and you had fallen back into the rabbit hole.

"We're just two friends reconnecting, I don't see the problem with that." you say to your best friend with a shrug of your shoulders as you were texting Sunghoon and she easedropped looking at the phone over your shoulder.

"I've known you for years and that has got to be the biggest lie you've ever said." she says shaking her head in disapproval.

"I mean it though, tonight we're just gonna hang out like old friends." you respond but it felt more like you were trying to convince yourself nothing would happen.

Getting out of your car upon arrival, you notice a figure on the second floor of the building standing outside and you notice Sunghoon waving at you with his infamous smile on display for you.

He was an incredibly beautiful man, you can admit you've seen your fair share of really hot guys but every time you look at Sunghoon you can't seem to remember when and he's the only one on your mind.

He had you wrapped right around his finger and you knew that.

Absolutely whipped for him.

Going up the stairs leading up to his door he greets you with a tight hug wrapping his arms around your waist not seeming to care that he was getting wet from your damp clothes.

"Sorry about the rain, how about you shower and I'll get you some of my fresh clothes to change into." he offers and you agree quietly admiring the neat decor of his house as he leads the way.

"Should I get you anything to drink? I've got some water, soda and wine." he asks you as you take a seat on his couch after your shower letting your hair air dry as you were wearing nothing but his black shirt which was conveniently oversized and up to your mid thigh.

"Some wine should be good." you tell him as he left a lingering gaze on your figure before he snapped out of it and nodded going into the kitchen to get your drink.

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of you and a message from your best friend pops up.

Bestie ♡ :

- Hope you're okay. Call me if you need anything :)

(Y/n) :

- Yep I'm good

- I'm sorry I can't come back for the sleepover but dw everything is fine

- Goodnight <3

"Here's your wine." sunghoon reaches out handing you the glass as he had one of his own before taking a seat next to you shuffling closer.

"I missed you." he says breaking the silence as he placed his wine glass on the coffee table and gently took yours doing the same trying to still maintain eye contact with you.

"I missed you t-too." you shyly stutter out looking down.

It felt like he had you in a trance, you were moving on your own, or maybe it was the win doing it's thing but before you knew it your hands were cupping Sunghoon's face as his rested on your thigh as you both shared a deep and sensual kiss.

Everything after that felt like a complete blur.

The next morning you found yourself in unfamiliar sheets but this was an all too familiar scene of events and next to you sound asleep was a breathtaking shirtless Sunghoon.

This was a bad idea right?

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @bahiyyihina

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junnieverse · 7 months

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LOGICAL ➳ Y. JUNGWON

➙ synopsis: you had known from the beginning that your relationship with jungwon was far from perfect, many would simply put it as toxic because of how manipulative he was but you were too blinded by love that all the lies and deceit felt meaningless. it was too late before you realised how dysfunctional it all was, love wasn't logical after all.

pairing: yang jungwon x gn!reader

genre: angst, lovers to exes au

word count: 1.1k

warnings: not proofread, jungwon is toxic (and so is your relationship with him), reader cries at some point

a/n: this is officially the first one done for the series! I hope you guys enjoy it, reblogs are highly appreciated too! :)

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

Everything had seemingly came crashing down and you were stuck right in the middle of the storm.

It felt like everything you knew that he'd told you was just acid burning through a surface.

Yang Jungwon was no saint. He may have looked like one but, looks can be deceiving.

Everyone had warned you about him and his manipulative ways but you were smitten.

You had fallen for him and hard, nothing anyone said could've stopped you from letting go of him and the deep connection you had.

You were brainwashed, yes, but what made you feel stupid was how long it took you to realise that your relationship with Jungwon really meant nothing to him.

He simply drew you a picture of everything you wanted, the picture perfect relationship with the most perfect boyfriend but you couldn't see the cracks in this little fantasy.

You were mislead into a fake reality that seemed so perfect that you were afraid of losing it.

Only after you saw the truth behind it all did you realise how much control Jungwon had over you.

He made you doubt the obvious and simply believe and stay in the fantasy he'd painted out for you because 2 + 2 actually equals 5 right, it didn't make sense at first but then again nothing in your relationship did and so you just chose to blindly believe whatever and every grain of critical thinking seemingly dispersed slowly.

"I really am a fool huh. I could've stopped it from going on for so long but I let that master manipulator have his way." you say laughing bitterly as your best friend sat beside you rubbing your back comfortingly.

Constantly seeing the signs that he was never a good influence to have around and yet you ignored the warning signs because he made you 'happy'.

You had heard all the rumours about him and yet it went through one ear and right through the other choosing to not believe the truth behind everyone who was trying to protect you from getting hurt.

"Jungwon, who was that girl I saw you with the other day with your friends?" you ask him looking down nervously.

"Hmm? Oh that was... a friend of mine." he says monotonously as he walks past you not bothering to say anything else.

You knew deep down that it was better to trust your gut instincts and they were telling you that he wasn't being completely truthful yet you once again turned a blind eye to your boyfriend mistreating you because the following day he would shower you with gifts and tell you how much he loved you.

He deserved just that much forgiveness right.

You were blind in love and this little world you both had was enough for you.

All you needed was Jungwon to feel complete you thought.

It was evident that you were holding onto something that wasn't pure and sincere, your relationship with Jungwon was nothing but lies and deception but you still saw 'the good side' in him.

How he lead you to believe he was changing, becoming a better man for you.

And yet, the more he lied to you, the more you started believing the things he'd say.

"It's possible for people to change. Jungwon is changing just for me, don't you guys see it?" you tell your friends thinking fondly of him as your friends shared a knowingly worried look between one another.

"(Y/n) snap out of it, Jungwon keeps messing with your feelings, he's gaslighting you." one of them says trying to calmly express herself.

Leaving him wasn't any easy either, you'd been committed for a solid two years now and you weren't willing to throw that away.

He would call you less, he was less affectionate, he was staying out with friends more and he was gradually gravitating away from you.

Everytime you finally had enough of him and would call him out, he somehow found a way to win you over to give him another chance.

"You know I would never hurt you baby. I had too much to drink and did something stupid but you know I'll always love you." Jungwon said holding your hand in his as he wiped your tears with his other hand.

He sure was convincing you thought, he knew which exact poisonous words to use just to have you running back to him.

It was nothing but broken promises and the same story.

He would mess up, you would call him out, you both would get into an argument and he wakes up the next morning begging for forgiveness but never owning up to what he did.

You couldn't let yourself keep suffering like this anymore.

Nothing made sense, you thought he was the perfect guy you fell in love with in the beginning but now you don't know who Jungwon became, better yet maybe this was a side of him he hid from the very beginning like everyone warned you about, but you were slowly losing yourself through the dysfunctionality of your toxic relationship with him.

The fantasy world he'd created for you was crumbling down and you started to see him for who he really was.

You started to see how distorted everything he'd say was only after you finally chose to see the truth.

You thought it was a bright and magical island but this fantasy had it's faults, from the green skies to the red grass... how didn't you see this all before.

"God I'm so stupid." you say thinking back to your past relationship.

You tried making him happy, that was your main goal your entire relationship, to see Jungwon smile and be the reason behind it.

It made you blame yourself thinking you couldn't even keep your own boyfriend happy.

He trapped you.

It all felt like endless drowning and you didn't know when you'd hit the bottom.

Jungwon made sure he had you wrapped around his finger just so he could use you as he pleased and wiggle his way back into your life by painting a false picture of someone he never was... and you fell for it each time.

You both had so many problems in your relationship, very clearly your problems were unsolvable and you just kept trying to make something out of nothing.

Who was to blame but yourself.

You put yourself in this position, you could've stopped it all from the beginning when you realised how all Jungwon did was mistreat you but you didn't.

Because you 'loved him' ?

He couldn't even give you just that much back so why did you put yourself through so much heartache.

"This whole love thing is fucked up." you say looking at your best friend who nods beside you.

Love was never logical but you had to learn it the hard way.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee

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junnieverse · 7 months

Text

THE GRUDGE ➳ P. JONGSEONG

➙ synopsis: "forgive and forget" they'd say, if only they knew it wasn't that easy. jay was one of the people you trusted the most and he only betrayed your trust, no matter how much you tried to forgive him, you knew it would take alot of strength to heal from what he put you through and letting go of the grudge you held against him would be a long journey.

pairing: jay park x gn!reader

genre: angst, lovers to exes au

word count: 1.0k

warnings: not proofread, cheating, reader starts crying at some point, hints of breakdown/anxiety attack

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

It was Friday May 8th 2020.

The day everything between the two of you changed.

You were on your way driving to your boyfriend's house after a vacation with your family having missed Jay and wanted to surprise him seeing as he hadn't known you were back.

You had it all planned out. You would tell him your flight got delayed and you would be coming home later then expected, drive to his place with all your favourite snacks and movies to watch and when he would open the door you would yell out "Suprise!" and Jay would shower you in his warm hugs and kisses.

That in your head was the perfect way to reunite after being apart but Jay had other plans.

"I think we should break up. I don't think we're working out." jay says over the phone just as you were about to knock on his door.

"Hello? Are you still there (Y/n)?" he asks seemingly shuffling around on the other side of the line as the door in front of you swings open and there he was in front of you but not alone.

The female companion next to him gives him a kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye to him not bothering to acknowledge your presence.

You had your suspicions about Jay's loyalty to you but you wanted to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. That despite everything you've heard and seen that point to the obvious, mabe, just maybe, Jay Park wasn't like the others.

But you were wrong.

"Yeah. No, you're right Jay. It wasn't working out." you tell him calmly as he was too embarrassed to even look you in the eye.

Throwing everything in a nearby trashcan, you get into your car ignoring Jay's pleas to get you to stop and hear him out as you drove away with a heavy heart and teary eyes.

That was 3 years ago and yet the pain of the breakup still weighed like a ton of bricks.

Having to constantly see Jay not only during your lectures but even at family dinners seeing as your parents were business partners was hard.

Putting on a strong front telling everyone you're okay only to go home and break down the moment you set foot in your house because you didn't want to appear 'weak' and 'vulnerable' in front of anyone. You would slide down onto the floor as you felt your chest tightening, tears blurring your vision and you couldn't breathe.

Everything felt like it was spinning out of control and you couldn't do anything about it.

This was the man you trusted and loved wholeheartedly and he played you for a fool.

You had every right to feel hurt and angry at him. You gave him everything you could and it appeared to have not been enough to make him happy or feel loved.

It felt like everything you did reminded you of Jay.

All the places you went to and the memories you made there together, it was hard to just forget all of that and move on like you didn't have an immense love for one another.

A big part of you knew you had to forgive Jay sooner or later to be able to properly heal and move on but it wasn't that easy either.

You had tried, many many times to just go up to him and tell him that you know he messed up but you forgive him but everytime you mustered up that courage, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You weren't ready to forgive him, to be the bigger person in all this because deep down the smaller part of you wanted to hurt him and put Jay through the same heartache he caused you and possibly even worse just to call it a truce.

How was it so easy for him?

To just up and leave a relationship you had both built for years that not only your friends admired but your parents couldn't be happier to see their precious only child with anyone else but the Park's brilliant son.

He just had to ruin it and you wondered if any part of him felt even the smallest remorse for hurting you.

It was worth noting you weren't the perfect partner either but you still tried.

Always focusing on school to please your scholarly parents with the best marks and spending time travelling with friends, Jay had felt isolated sometimes, that you never cared for him at all until he brought this to your attention.

You were able to recognise your fault and understand your boyfriend was a priority as well but maybe it wasn't good enough for him in the end you thought.

Pondering more on it made you realise Jay never truly appreciated you either.

You always tried to show him you loved him too, though words didn't do enough and you would go to the ends of the earth through your actions to show him but to no avail.

All he ever did was criticise you. Simply pointing out your flaws and inconsistencies making you feel like less of a woman when his friends would tell him all the time about how they would kill for a girlfriend as attentive and loving as you.

Jay failed to recognise a diamond when he had one, you were everything anyone could've wanted and he still wanted more… and so he went looking for that elsewhere.

Part of you was also selfish, you wanted the guilt to eat at Jay and he would somehow come running back.

That no matter what, you would welcome him with open arms despite what he had done and you would both just work through your problems but you knew that would be a small chance of happening.

It was hard to hate Jay Park, you both had a long deeply rooted history and quite frankly it wouldn't be easy for either of you to leave each other's lives even if you wanted to.

Forgiving him wouldn't be the easiest thing either but you were working towards building the strength to let go of him and finally heal the wounds he had opened.

3 years, it had been that long and yet despite the heavy burden the grudge you held against Jay had on you, he always would have a special place in your heart.

You just needed a little more time before you could finally forgive him.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @jennaissera

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junnieverse · 6 months

Text

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING ➳ K. SUNOO

➙ synopsis: you felt like a complete fool. you told everyone he was 'the one' but seeing sunoo with someone else hit you like a truck. it was humiliating having to deal with the fact that you so easily fell for him and yet he had his eyes set on someone else. you knew you had to let him go and yet you were still holding on onto false hope.

pairing: kim sunoo x fem!reader (but i'm sure it's gn imo as far as I am concerned)

genre: angst, unrequited love au

word count: 1.6k

warnings: not proofread, reader cries, reader self hating, just alot of hurt

a/n: here is the next update. I haven't been writing much due to my final exams but I hope you still like this though :)

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

"Are you still waiting on him to call you?" you hear your roommate ask as she catches you checking your phone every few minutes as you laid sprawled across your bed.

Not that you wanted to admit it but it was true.

It had been a week or so since Sunoo had last spoken to you and asked for you to give him some 'space'.

It was more than obvious this was just his way of trying to get you to back off but on the other hand you wanted to think of this in a more positive light and assume he was simply busy in his own personal life.

"No, not at all. Sunoo isn't ignoring me or anything. He just has an extremely busy and demanding life." you try to defend not only yourself but try to excuse Sunoo's poor behaviour.

For hours and days you waited for some sort of communication from Sunoo and got nothing, you really were a fool.

Kim Sunoo was a close friend of yours you had been introduced to at school when you both joined the drama club at your college and his bright smile and pretty eyes instantly won you over.

It didn't take long for you to realise that you were deeply infatuated by the guy and slowly but surely, you were also falling in love with him too.

"I think he's the one." you admit to your best friend sitting on the bleachers watching Sunoo play rugby with a group of his friends and you hear her burst out in laughter to your statement leaving you puzzled.

"What's so funny?" you ask her as she calms down from her laughing.

"You haven't even known Sunoo for that long and you are so sure that this is end game? He'll you haven't even went out on a single date with him." she tells you factually not believing what you had just said but you nod in response to her previous question admiring as he played down by the field.

"Yeah I do think it's end game. How long I've known him or the fact that we haven't gone on a date doesn't matter, what does is I can definitely see myself walking down the aisle with him having the picture perfect wedding." you say confidently taking a sip of your drink.

It may have sounded incredibly delusional but you could really see it, Sunoo was everything you wanted in a partner and you were smitten to the point of imagining the possibility of tying the knot with him.

As if having heard you talking about him, Sunoo lifts his head up meeting your gaze before flashing his bright smile and throwing a friendly wave at you as you shyly waved back.

He truly seemed perfect in your eyes at the beginning, but you also knew Sunoo was unattainable.

He had been in an on and off relationship with a past lover of his and even when they weren't together, you could tell Sunoo wasn't completely over his ex either.

Although you didn't want that to stop you from still pursuing him.

You thought building a friendship with Sunoo first was a step in the right direction to getting to know him and before you knew it, you were a close friend in his group of friends, a confidant to him.

He could always turn to you even with his own relationship problems because it was just a friendship basis between the two of you… right?

Because of this, you somehow put your feelings on the back burner always being at Sunoo's beck and call for the days he wanted to celebrate with a few drinks because he got back together with his ex girlfriend, to the rainy nights he cried into your shoulder because they had yet again broken up and she had a new boyfriend.

You thought that just maybe through everything you had been through always being by his side, that just maybe Sunoo would finally notice you as more than just a friend he can go to after a rough patch with his ex.

You had finally mustered up the courage to confess to him at a party his friend was hosting but soon backed out last minute out of fear of rejection although later that very same night after a few drinks, you ended up telling Sunoo you liked him to which he simply thought you were too drunk and talking nonsense.

It had been a few days since that happened and you were too embarrassed to face Sunoo but you knew you would have to clear the air and reconfirm your feelings in a sober state and talking to Sunoo was your biggest priority at that moment.

Making your way to the music room where you had been informed he was, you take a deep breath stepping closer to the door as you heard the faint sound of Sunoo's voice and another girl laughing.

Peeping through the slightly open door you notice Sunoo sitting by the piano with his now ex girlfriend as they played the instrument together.

Watching the two, your eyes start filling up with tears and suddenly his ex now has her hand on his face pulling Sunoo closer as they shared an intimate kiss.

You felt your legs weaken as a soft gasp escaped your lips witnessing the scene in front of you but also capturing the attention of the two. Before they could notice you, with the little strength you had left, you ran to the nearest bathroom, locking yourself in the stall as you were crying as your chest ached.

You felt incredibly embarrassed as of right now, but more than ever, you felt hurt.

This was all so stupid, YOU felt stupid too!

For months you tried to express yourself and your feelings so vulnerably but it felt like you were talking to a wall.

Maybe you just weren't good enough for him… that no matter how much you sacrificed of yourself you still wouldn't be pretty, smart or good enough for Sunoo.

You were losing so much of yourself for him but no matter how much you gave up… you would only end up coming back to him.

Yes, Sunoo knew about your feelings for him but despite having confessed (drunkenly), it felt like he was slowly starting to push you away.

You felt like a fool for trying so hard to win someone over knowing very well his heart belonged to someone else but you still held onto this little grain of hope that maybe he could come around and realise he had to move on (and preferably to you).

You had tried to move on yourself as well, anything to distract you from Sunoo.

From join other clubs to even getting a 'second-string' weirdo to try forget about the unrequited love but to no avail. Even blatantly avoiding him worked against your favour when he came looking for you.

"Hey, (Y/n)! I haven't seen you in awhile, I almost thought you were avoiding me." Sunoo stops you in the hallway as he jokingly adds on that last part expecting you to laugh along to which you hadn't.

"I've just been busy I guess… see you another time." you respond blandly not even looking up at him.

Before you could turn around and take your leave Sunoo gently grabbed on your wrist stopping you from leaving as he quickly detected something was wrong.

"Are you okay? You've never-" he asks before you cut him off reassuring him you were perfectly fine as you managed to get your hand out of his grip.

"Are you sure? I can-" he double checks trying to look into your eyes as you still avoided eye contact.

"Sunoo please… please just stop okay. Everything between us is so confusing and I'm the one left hurting. One minute you act all sweet and caring around me then the next you need 'space' away from me and don't talk to me for weeks. I feel like a measly second option to you and it's so embarrassing. You know how i feel about you and you still haven't expressed how you feel, you just go back to talking to me like nothing happened at all when there's been this big elephant in the room. I don't want to just keep being the person you go to when you cry over your ex, I wanted to be yours but clearly we aren't on the same page with that." you let out holding back your tears.

All of this had been weighing heavily on your chest and finally being able to tell him felt like you no longer carried any burdens.

Sunoo on the other hand stood quietly in front of you looking down seemingly taking in what you had said.

Everything was starting to hit him and the guilt was seeping in too.

All this time he knew how you felt about him but he only put up a wall and avoided confronting the situation because he knew he still was too invested in his relationship with his ex.

"I-" Sunoo croaks out but was stopped by your words.

"Maybe this time I need some space from you." you say coldly as you looked him straight in the eye before turning around and leaving to go to your next class.

Breaking the strong facade after being out of his sight, you wipe the tear running down your cheek before shortly looking back then continuing on your way.

Love was a lot of things.

It could be a crazy adventure, a sweet dream, a heartbreaking experience and an intense whirlwind for some.

But love sure was just downright embarrassing for you.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @bahiyyihina

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