#just got back from therapy :)

[mx-lamour]

I'm afraid of disappointment

Money is bad and awful

I can't trust people

And I don't know what's causing my vulvitis

How are you today?

#having a time #just got back from therapy #I'm a lot #and my brain is tired #everything is complicated #spectrapy #spectralshit

[quietwingsinthesky]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.

#i am so enthralled by this concept you have no idea #also like. i mentioned in rose’s section how this is a genuinely scary situation for her. #but to be clear. it is for all three of them the moment they realize that this Is Not Their Doctor #because theyre suddenly on a ship going through time ans space with. almost a stranger. and one who has proven that he’s break laws #fundamental to his worldview rather than let them go #doctor who #rose tyler #martha jones #martha girl get the fuck out of there oh my god #the doctor comes out looking the worst in her section rip to him for not handling her leaving him in a normal and healthy way very well #i think it would be very funny if the doctor said goodbye to her and then immediately went. ‘oh! right! martha is the only thing keeping me #from jumping off a cliff! brb i need to get martha back at whatever cost!’ sir go to therapy #donna noble #also also to be clear im not trying to insult rose in her section thats just how she is #remember that time her boyfriend turned into plastic in front of her and she. didnt notice. or that time the doctor was being strangled in #the other room and she. didnt notice. #rose tyler girl that you are. you never know what the fuck is going on around you and i love you for that. how are you still alive. #REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE GOT BACK FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THE DALEK ABOUT TO SHOOT THE DOCTOR IN THE FACE #ROSE TYLER. GIRL. LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE CROSSING A STREET AT LEAST #donna’s here is the most fucked up i think because even if this situation is ‘resolved’ and she goes back to her doctor like. how does she #keep going with that fact in the back of her mind at all times. that he can and will do this to her. that he’ll take himself and everything #else away from her while she begs him not to. #angst <3

[can-of-slorgs]

I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.

Bonus comic featuring my grundo:

#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage #neotag #neopets #vin memes #you'reall to blame for this monstruosity #i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that” #i didn't stop to think if i should though #Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing #again if youre seeing this with no context #you dont need context #i... i don't think there's any for that matter #just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn #i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before #my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO #yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back #also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him #split it is for now #i don't want to look at this anymore end me #i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold #thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy #kreludorian health insurance in a farse

[padawansuggest]

So I recently discussed this with @bitter-chocolate-stars and I need you guys to know I am CLAMBERING for an AU where the nulls, who famously (to their brothers who probably think they’re ICONS) took over a whole fucking part of the whole cloning facility of Kamino after the Kaminoan’s told Kal Skirata (Dad) to get out because they don’t need trainers anymore and the war just started and the nulls are like ‘what if we stage a coup’. And it fucking works?????

Yeah I want an AU where the Jedi are like ‘lmao that’s a good idea y’all know any other clones that can help with that to take over more of the facility?’ And Alpha 17 and his commanders melt out of the walls like ‘hey we got this’ and take over all of Kamino and the Jedi look at the senate all ‘sowwwwwwwy, we twied so vewy hawd to get them to stand dowwwwwwwn 😭’ and force the senate to make a draft which halts the entire fuckin war in its tracks and then Palpatine throws a tantrum and reveals he’s a Sith so they kill him and go hunting for the other generals who got sat on by the Kilo beast lmao whoops.

Anyways. I think the nulls should have been allowed to take over Kamino and declare themselves a third faction of the war and maybe even convince the droid army to get jealous and stage their own coup with R2-D2 as their general and idk man idk that would be super funny.

Kal, after being handed the entire clone army: oh my god my throat is gonna kill me after I say the gai bal manda for all of them

Also Jango is alive and under house arrest in the Jedi temple with Boba so he’s like. Whatever. Might as well happen. Fuck all y’all at least he has his kid and probably anxiety meds from the healers. He’s taking a vacation. Boba is learning how to steal initiates to cheer Buir up by shoving them in his arms when he looks sad in the gardens. Grogu is his little pal he’s such a bad boy they commit crimes together.

The nulls find Tag and Bink and adopt them what crimes do you think they will commit? Tax fraud probably.

#star wars #kal skirata #clone nulls #I just think they should kick the cloners out they house and give it a paint job #jango fett #obviously Jango is tryina get in nice master Kenobi’s underbritches #Padme and Anakin come back from their Tatooine wedding that Shmi officiated and are like *shocked pikachu face* #Walon killed Priest and refused to let the clones get hurt after some therapy thanks #and by therapy I mean kal yelled at him for like six straight hours after ordo got hurt #he needs more therapy than Jango no fuckin joke #but priest needs death by sword up the ass

[papyrus-in-places-he-shouldnt-be]

Papyrus shouldn't in therapy

Because he should be okay!

#Papyrus was just too busy in France to post but I'm back! #Ok OP here. I couldn't post because of my poor mental health state #and fanily issues I also got busy running a tournament and stuff so I just took a big break. I will try to post every day drom now on if #I remember to do so haha! I have ADHD so umm... Wish me luck remembering 😂 #I'm glad to see people are still supporting this! #Papyrus will come back from therapy soon! #Even Papyrus needs help 🌼 #*family (I wrote 'fanily') #therapy #papyrus in places he shouldn't be #papyrus #papyrus undertale #undertale #undertale papyrus #the great papyrus #*from. no 'drom' #excuse my poor spelling I write too fast

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

#Anywayyyyy #The fandom added a whole lot more C to my C-PTSD #So a nice random message every few months instead of a freshly posted death wish is LOVELY. #Don’t fret. On meds and therapied but fresh tf out of money from it so @ L and H… lornasaurusrexx at g*ail is the PayPal if ur bored 🙃 #I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. They’ll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks #and it seems to have only gotten worse. Gotta keep them hets hetbaited for their money whilst actively encouraging them to bully yall? Why? #STILL!? At this point it feels like they’ve both chosen that path deliberately now and I find it quite gross. but I’m also very far removed #So don’t worry about my opinions. Keep trusting your own intuition!!! You all see it. I love you guys and your beautiful hearts and empathy #But I hope they can sleep at night knowing the absolute fucking genuine WRECKAGE they left across the Big Gay War generation/era of Larries #Don’t worry guys I’m just as dramatic as ever. None of this has anything to do with them coming out or anything. Just how we were treated. #But trust I fuckin mean that shit from the deepest darkest pit of my Demon Larrie™️ heart. They encouraged this. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #Anyone who cares about my actual life updates: I’m a school nurse now and will be working at a bougie summer camp over break #Had a surgery I needed. Got new tattoos and piercings. In a happy and healthy relationship with the best dude for almost a year now. #OH and I went to New Zealand last year with Prettytruthsandlies!!!! We made a pact back in our Big Gay War/college days to go. And we DID!! #I got overstimulated and overfed and puked in Hobbiton. 🤣 (It was the best time of my LIFE GENUINELY🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹) #Okay BYE LOVE YOU GUYS #There are better and more humane ways to maintain a closet ..like literally STFU entirely. Ignoring it and not exploiting a kid is FREE #🇵🇸

[seariii]

Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health... #particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life' #its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh.... #sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho... #but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is... #the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that! #seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup! #miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis.... #sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

[doodlboy]

Silly lil meme ft. B-EL-phie lore 💙

---ref under the cut---

#obey me #obey me belphegor #belphegor obey me #belphegor #lesson 16 spoilers #obey me spoilers #anyway yeah so L16 happened BUUUUT!!!! immediately upon coming back to life El made a beeline for belphegor #and jumped on his back to try to yank his head off by his horns #they're fine now tho. el got a few months of nightmares and trauma and then therapy abt it #and then threatened to maim belphie within an inch of his life if he ever tried that shit again and they were good after that👍 #i should also mention the reason el was so pissed off is bc he was crushing HARD on belphie and just had faith bel wouldn't kill him #bc el knew belphie was lying to him from the start but he still had faith in him and wanted to help him get out of the attic #powered by pure heartbroken rage baybeeeee #anywayyy just realized i forgot my art tags oops #digital art #elliot doodles #exploding tumblr for desaturating my art AGAIN

[criticalrolo]

Sir Claire I for one am following you specifically to hear you talk about your dnd characters! Well, and for the art ... usually of your dnd characters. My point is, if people did not want to hear about your OCs why would they be following the Talk About My OCs blog?

that’s true, thank you you’re very sweet to say so 💗

#just got back from therapy and man. I have issues around taking up space in peoples brains as it turns out LOL #anyway thank u for thsi you’re very sweet #kind words

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

#[static] #it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism #some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under #i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever #it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others #and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing #like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks #every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like #one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways #something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out #i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery #poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop #never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on #so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly #and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again #its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much #im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel

[oflgtfol]

i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh

#sorry i was trying to find a post in my music tag in my archive and i scrolled so far back i got all the way to april 2023 #where i referenced sitting in a dining hall #and its like. DINING HALL ?!?!?! #im going to be sitting in the fucking dining hall again in just like four months. UGH #brot posts #it's almost similar to the separation between high school and college. where i feel like hs me was completely different than college me #and now only a mere year later i feel like. post-undergrad me is completely different than undergrad me #although now that separation is exacerbated by how short a time it was and just HOW drastic a change it was #like . a bitch goes on antidepressants suddenly theyre a whole new person. #like im lowkey excited to see my old classmates and friends again #but i also am dreading it bc like hi. hey. i have the same name and face as the person you knew but i'm someone else now. sorry #and also just the persistent fear that i'm going to regress or at least even just /feel/ like im regressing #just by being back in that environment again? #even if i'll be on meds this time and actually going to therapy and overall having so much more support than i did in the past #so as nostalgic as i am to be on campus again it's also like. hard to separate the present from the past #like despite it all. this bathroom was still the very same place i went to have a mental breakdown weekly #this bench outdoors was the place i sat by myself to eat lunch in the blistering cold bc i couldnt eat indoors during covid 2020-2021 #this bench indoors was where my friends had an intervention with me and forced me to call the on-campus mental health services #just . idk. feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and also being haunted by bad memories #oh the woes of going to grad school at the same place you got your undergrad. While mentally ill #but alas i need to save money by commuting and having instate tuition

[lobotomyladylives]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids'' #and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker. #and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong. #anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine

[robinsnest2111]

gotta. come to terms with the fact that something Actually Kinda Bad happened to me as a small child. my brain tends to Bury that memory way deep so I rarely think about it. to the point I question if it actually really happened. but it did. I wouldn't and couldn't have made that up. not at that age.

#actually have never talked about that particular facet of my past with anyone except a friend last year #have never brought it up in therapy because i never remembered that situation at the time. had more pressing issues #reason number 24601 i should get back into therapy asap #thinking about it. my parents MUST'VE been informed about it. they must've known. but they never talked about it #never mentioned it. just went on as usual. no big deal. #just took me out of that particular daycare and put me into another daycare #maybe that's where i got my LET'S REPRESS IT coping strategy from 🤔 #anyway back to happier topics <3

[bitchyblkqueer]

flash 2023 issue 6 thoughts

opening on wallylinda.... prayers answered. i love how si spurrier writes and i love the family dynamics he's created.

like YES he gets it!! and our good friend eo is finally back! he's always a good time (for me as a reader)

i am fascinated by horror based on the covid19 lockdowns. the month and a half that people really had to stay inside. and the idea that a year of your life was lost. i completely disagree. and it looks like spurrier feels the same (corona contrarium) but we'll have to wait and see. i could be projecting.

there's this quote that i cant find that goes something like, "just because the time didn't pass how i wanted it to doesn't mean it didn't pass at all." it's important to think about who we're talking about when we frame the lockdown as "the stolen year." it's very entitled. and it's always confused me. i think it's the idea that something was taken from you when tomorrow is never promised.

and the overwhelming fear that was prevalent in society during that time period is still here. it's just being channeled into other things. and i have to make it clear that we're still in a pandemic and it's the worst it's ever been. TB and measles outbreak on top of new covid strains??? what are we doing?? and no one wants to mask.

i would love to talk to spurrier about this. he's not American and different countries handled lockdowns very differently. anyway back to the comic.

ghosts are scientific but there are enough tangents in this post. in retrospect barry has been acting pretty thawne-like the entire time. but i also feel like his worst traits (isolation, possessiveness/jealousy, cattiness, pride) were getting amplified.

oh my?? i feel like this is something barry might feel but would never say, especially not like this.

im getting deja vu and i hope wally is too...

building on the iconic scene from the return of barry allen, and upping the ante so now barry physically harms wally instead of just abandoning him. can we take a moment to appreciate a writer who has read the works of previous authors. it shouldn't be so rare but here we are.

im disappointed that the stillness seem to be a hoax set up by thawne. i was digging the whole cosmic higher power thing. that's all for now ummmmmm 5 stars

#this got away from me i fear #i should just start up my newsletter again #this being the thing that gets me back into journalism #also lets get linda into therapy STAT #so much metaphysical phenomenon is backed by science but the scientists dont wanna acknowledge that #this is my favorite ongoing #live love wallylinda #aiyonna reads comics #i love sassy barry #wally west #linda park #barry allen #panel posting #jai west

[basslinegrave]

h

im thinking about divorced sam and max and imagining how its just because theyre at a low because theyre getting old and its all too much and all too sudden and its not really a going distant thing and losing feelings but rather the worry of tying the other one down for so many years practically their whole lives so making a decision to split and stay just friends so to not take all freedom from the other but it doesnt work it just turns them very cranky and they eventually find their way back to one another cause they just cannot be apart nor with anyone else ans they cant have this work/friends only relationship they just have to talk it out and realize they both just want the best for one another but the best thing that happened to both of them Is the other and having one another and they simply cannot split. and thats where the another marriage happens.. i wonder how long they would be apart and if it would be abrupt or starting from stupid misunderstanding arguments

#longest sentence known to man #coping from ttiv again #i hate their shitty situationship there #prescription of 3 snm cartoon episodes could heal me #crying kitten exploding head gif my reaction to their banter in ttiv #the thing is its fine its just my brain being too focused on like 3 lines honestly. and the nausea i got while playing once that comes back #everytime i think about it. ttiv motion sickness ttiv situationship sickness. ugh they need to be dissolved in acid #this isnt for anything in particular since i cant write a fic or anything this is only my thoughts after seeing that divorce post #they divorced in the cartoon too but its fine <3 because they got back stronger than ever #and hey i love old man yaoi its just so weird seeing these two specifically as old. they need therapy more and more every year they age #thoughts are being thunk #dni. im just printing out a photo of them from ttiv tacking it to my wall and shooting a bb gun at them