#anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine

[lobotomyladylives]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids'' #and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker. #and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong. #anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine

[smolfailure]

FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy,  the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

 it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED.  the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) . 

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them)  but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

 quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

 ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy. 

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”) 

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT. 

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

#dream smp #mcyt #mcytblr #dream smp au #homestuck #sleepy bois inc #one of those tags is not like the other #tommyinnit #tubbo #tubbo_ #tubbolive #fundy #fundylive #itsfundy #technoblade #dream team #wilbur soot #wilbur mcyt #eret mcyt #jschlatt #quackity #skeppy #badboyhalo #philza #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #homestuck au #reblog this to curse ur mutuals' feeds with Unexpected Homestuck in 2020

[stemmmm]

im gonna bitch and whine over the ending of hades not being the fake ending i constructed in my mind that was only able to exist because i wasn’t able to beat a run fast enough that i wouldnt have had time to fantasize about it thereby meaning i did this to myself 100% but im still fussy about it

so spoilers spoilers spoilers under the cut for sgg hades, don’t read if you haven’t beaten at least 1 run, blah blah blah also kinda sorta incest/rape tw bc thats greek mythology babey

to start off, i DO wanna give HUUUUGE props to the fact that this wasnt just another shitty story about how persephone loves hades actually yadda yadda. from the first second of the game it wasnt that and the first cutscene cements it so clearly that no, persephone HATED this shit hole and she got her ass out! good for her! love that for her, i really do. thank you supergiant for acknowledging she was in a shit situation that she wasn’t happy with, i love you always

so anyways im not surprised by what we did get with persephone, in hindsight it totally tracks that she just left because she was miserable and it had nothing to do with zag bc she thought he was fucking dead bc those assholes lied to her about it, which is a very Hades thing to do to be fair. but the thing that disappointed me was how she was so happy to see her son alive

because see, i was really hoping she fucking hated him actually.

not in a “get the hell out of my house” way necessarily, mind you. but at least in a “hey im not your mom and never wanted to be and you are representative of the worst thing that ever happened to me” kind of way.

because let’s be completely clear here. and i’ve only beaten the one run, i don’t know the exact canon sgg is playing with in all of this, but going by the canon that is actual fucking greek myth, zagreus is a rape baby. or would be if there was solid canon about zag but based on the single look at a wiki i did, he’s pretty debated... but the point is persephone was kidnapped and raped, and by her fucking uncle no less?? woobify that shit all you want and try to twist it into her wanting it actually, but at its core the myth of persephone is and always has been about her being kidnapped, tricked into being held captive, and raped.

and i understand writing her as being in a situation where everything sucked but she was gonna have this baby who she would’ve loved and she lost and that’s so sad and all that, but in general like, women who are raped don’t love the children who result from that lol. children who were unwanted are more often than not unloved and there are statistics to prove that. yet for some reason SO MUCH of media pins women down as being just bonkers mad in love with any baby they come in contact with especially if they gave birth to it, no matter how fucked up the circumstances were. and it disappoints me so much that this situation fell down that same pit.

it would have been so unbelievably cool to have this whole game build up to be something where he’s trying so hard to find his mom, and when he finally gets there she says no, i’m not that, I never wanted to be that, and that’s nothing to do with you so im sorry you had to be involved in this. but I can’t help you like that, I can’t be your mother and I won’t be. if you want to hang out here, that’s fine, because I know where you came from and fuck that place, but just don’t try to make me into someone i’m not.

but no. women always have to be mothers, whether or not they got a choice in it. and god forbid they get to act like they didn’t want to be one

it was definitely a lot to ask for, a very big subversive thing that i built up in my head that never made any sense to be what we would actually get, but I am... disappointed that it’s not what we got to see all the same

#m.txt #sgg hades #spoilers spoilers spoilers #hades spoilers #so much spoilers

[darkpoisonouslove]

For the send title Griffin Heat of the moment Long live the queen Three of my fav one shots! Took some thinking to narrow it down!

I am so sorry this took so long, but life got in the way. I had a terrible night on Saturday and really wasn’t in the state of mind to write this yesterday. Also, tumblr ate my response the other day and I’m still mad about it. So it’s been a fun couple of days. Here’s to hoping this answer will cheer us both up!

“Griffin”:

1. I wrote this when I was on vacation but it took me a while to edit it before I could post it. It was a spontaneous idea that I was so excited to start writing that I stayed up late for it (pretty sure I went to bed at, like, 3:30am because of this).

2. As I’ve mentioned before, it was inspired by “I Fell in Love with the Devil” by Avril Lavigne (damn, I love the song and the video) and my own thought process while I was listening to it. My brain just went “Hey, how cool do you think it will be if Griffin tried to summon the devil aka Valtor and then fell in love with him but it had a tragic ending bc it’s them obvs?” And I went “Yeah, I think that would be pretty cool.” So I just went with it but since I wanted it to keep the winx-verse feeling even despite it being an AU, I decided that Valtor would be known as the all-powerful Dark Dragon which is sort of an equivalent to the devil but not quite. He has all the knowledge on magic and is prone to wrecking havoc everywhere he goes, but minus the ruling hell thing. He’s not ruling anything, he was trapped. Because we needed a summoning ritual in this. Who doesn’t love summoning rituals?

3. Speaking of which, I don’t know how I made those up, but I’m really glad I did. The obsidian idea just came to me but when I did some research, what do you know? It was perfect. And I also managed to tie it in with the Obsidian dimension. I love doing AUs because it gives me so many opportunities to play around with canon details and put them in a new perspective and mold them until they fit this new universe I’ve come up with. It’s my favorite part of writing AUs. The hair thing I know from my mom, a book I read (”A Discovery of Witches”, I think) and internet confirmed. And the tears I just thought would add to the aesthetic and provide some insight into Griffin’s head.

4. I chose the title “Griffin” because this fic mainly deals with the essence of Griffin, with what makes her who she is. Also, I did some research on griffins and they are supposed to be protectors so that also fit in super nicely. I am very proud with the version of Griffin I’ve built in this fic. There is so much anger and desperation in her but that in no way changes the fact that she is actually a good person. Which is why this: “She was strong enough to be a protector. Even with her pain. Even with her rage. Even with her darkness.” is my favorite quote from the fic. I was in a dark place at the time I wrote this and it was important for me to remember that.

5. I also love how Valtor turned out in this fic. He’s mysterious and clearly dangerous but also alluring enough for Griffin to ignore the warning signs. And while it’s clear that he was using her, it isn’t clear what he feels about her. He does feel about her. Maybe not love but he certainly feels a lot about her. She was the only one who managed to summon him (aka rescue him) from Omega so he is intrigued by her powers as well as by the interaction of light and dark within her soul. That is the reason why I have considered writing a companion piece to this fic that is from Valtor’s point of view (there certainly is enough unexplored material on that timeline (I only gave the beginning and ending (is it?) of that relationship)), but I’ve discarded the idea as many times as I have entertained it (until now?). I really have other more pressing things that need taking care of rn but I might reconsider it again when I have more time (will a moment like that ever come?) since I had some new thoughts about it now.

“Heat of the Moment”:

1. This was actually the third Winx Club fanfic I wrote but I posted it as the second one since chapter one of “Warmth of Rage, Cold of Love” wasn’t edited yet at the time.

2. It was actually written at the same day as “Fire and Ice” but it took me a lot of time to get it up on FFN because I didn’t want to post it at first. It was veering on smut so I wasn’t sure how people would react to it. Which is why it makes me so happy to hear that you love that story so much, considering all the doubts I had around it (it was also the first time I was writing about them in the past and we didn’t see anything of their interactions back then on the show so it was pretty much a shot in the dark there).

3. Do you know that amazing moment when you want to write something steamy but you’re not comfortable with smut in this particular situation for whatever reason? This fic is the embodiment of that. Which is why it ended up as dry humping. That’s always my go-to thing in a situation like that. Not actual sex, but you get all the intimacy of sex in it. It’s a win-win (and also hot).

4. I probably would’ve gotten discouraged and would’ve quit writing for the Winx fandom after I posted that one because it didn’t get any attention in weeks. The thing that actually kept me going and not just motivated, but excited me to keep writing for Winx was @her-majesty-wears-jeans‘ review.

5. The whole fic is constructed the way it is because I’m convinced that Valtor loved messing with Griffin in every way possible and that it always set off a competition of wills between the two of them.

“Long Live the Queen”:

1. I was bursting with creative energy and just didn’t know what to work on (not for a lack of ideas but because none of those I already had sparked my interest (I think I had idea-fatigue for all of the wips I already had). So I just picked song lyrics and wrote a fic. How do I do this? It certainly is a mystery to me.

2. So it was all total chance there. I was listening to music on YouTube and when the song ended, the suggestions showed up. One of them was a lyric video for Halsey’s “Young God” (which is totally their story in the past, I mean, come on!) and the thumbnail had the lyric “I’m the king and you’re the queen”. So I just took that and rolled with it.

3. I didn’t think it a big deal because I honestly wasn’t planning on posting the thing. I was frustrated with myself that day and was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be good anyway. And then what do you know? It was good. It was better than good. I actually loved the result. So I decided to post it after all.

4. That last paragraph was on the line until the last moment I posted it. I only added it on the last round of edits and wasn’t really sure about it. I almost deleted it a few times, but, ultimately, I decided to leave it be.

5. I had some random thoughts about what happened after Griffin took the crown. Since it will get so out of control with the length if I try to write this (and I really don’t have the time for that), I’ll just write them out here. In short because I forgot some details that were kind of important. Also, angst alert.

Griffin and Valtor start ruling Domino and Griffin’s worries prove to be true. Valtor is… well, not that he’s not listening to her but in a situation that needs improvisation, he always makes the wrong move. He’s listening to her, he’s just not listening to common sense. He’s angry and powerful and it’s not a good combination.

On top of that, Faragonda shows up at the Domino palace to look for Griffin because she is convinced that Valtor is mind-controlling her. Griffin barely manages to convince Valtor not to hurt Faragonda. He’s suspicious of her because he thinks she’s come to gather intel, but Griffin tells him that Faragonda is there because she’s worried about her.

They form a sort of flimsy truce that allows Faragonda to come visit Griffin so that she won’t be so lonely. And if she spills anything about Valtor and Griffin (not just about their plans, but in general) to anyone at all, Valtor will make sure she regrets it. Griffin is still unhappy, though, and after overhearing (whether accidentally or not so much) one of her conversations with Faragonda, Valtor understands how much the whole thing is weighing down on her conscience.

So after one last very tender night with her, he lets her go. He can’t run away with her because that will put her in danger since the Council will want his head. So he’ll stay on Domino and limit the destruction as much as possible, but he wants her to go with Faragonda. They can tell the Council that she was under his spell and that was why she was acting the way she was. They’ve seen enough of what his mark on people can do so that won’t be hard to believe. And it was Faragonda who saved her from it with some fairy dust.

Griffin doesn’t want to leave him, but she does because she can’t take any more of what he’s doing. Faragonda hides her in Alfea where a few weeks later Griffin finds out she’s pregnant. It turns out Faragonda knew all along (Valtor told her when he called her to escort Griffin to Alfea and gave her a letter for Griffin because he knew that if Griffin knew she was pregnant with his daughter, she would never leave his side). The letter tells her under no circumstances to tell anyone that the baby is his daughter. She is supposed to pretend that that is the heiress of Domino who was born just before Valtor attacked and that he’d been keeping her hibernated (which is why she hasn’t aged and is still a newborn) until they found her. It took them months to get her out of that state which would give Griffin the time to give birth to the baby. And the real heiress of Domino is stuck on Earth with her way back to the magical dimension severed by Valtor’s spell. And it will remain so as long as the Dark Dragon Fire is burning.

So Darcy grows in Alfea, pretending that she is a fairy her whole life. And her power of illusions helps her keep up the charade with Griffin and Faragonda guiding her through the discovery of her magic and helping her understand both light and dark magic so that she can pretend to be a fairy and learn how to control her actual powers. And a little bit of glamor helps hide the family resemblance between her and Griffin. She knows the truth about herself and her father but she keeps all of that hidden like her mother insists.

When she turns sixteen, Valtor appears to tell her she is to take the throne of Domino, defeat him and “claim her birthright”. He gives them a part of the embers the Ancestral Witches used to make him and tells them that that is the evidence of his defeat they are to present to the Council. And he will disappear for he can’t stay with them, no matter how much he wants to. It will put them both at risk if anyone discovers the ruse.

Griffin sees how much of his body mass is missing and follows him to learn what he’s done and where he found the ember. Valtor tells her that he cut off his wings in demon form and made them return to their original form. However, that also had consequences for his human form and he’s dying. He’s pretty sure what he did messed with his internal organs and he doesn’t have much more to live. But he doesn’t regret anything if it means that Darcy will finally be safe and happy. And once she builds her reputation and convinces everyone she’s not a threat, she’ll be able to drop the disguise.

Griffin knows that will never be the case. She’s seen clearly all these years to differ from him. They can never drop the pretense for the Council will be after them immediately. And with Valtor dying in her arms, she’s not sure if Darcy can protect herself. She’s never used the full potential of her Dragon Fire and Griffin fears it is too late for her to do it. She fears that having to pretend to be someone else her whole life has destroyed who Darcy actually was. And she fears that it is all her fault. Because she took that crown when she shouldn’t have. When she knew it was the wrong choice.

So after Valtor is dead, Griffin sets out to find out how to bring the actual heiress of Domino back to the magical dimension in hopes that if the two kinds of fire mix and both girls learn to control them, the Council will not hunt down her daughter. A perfect mix of light and darkness is her only exit. But can she be sure that she can achieve it now when she couldn’t years ago and that was what set off the whole chain of events?

So this was longer than I expected but I like how it turned out. Except for the insane levels of angst which I’m pretty sure we’re all used to, but that still doesn’t make them any less painful. Anyway, hope this makes up for the delay!

#ask #silverdragonstarlight #griffin #heat of the moment #long live the queen #griffin x valtor #winx darcy

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

An open letter to In Jin Moon and the Unification Church (2012) by Thomas Cromwell

September 13, 2012

Dear In Jin Moon,

On September 11 this year, as Americans paused to remember the shock and horror of the terror attacks 11 years ago, my son, Tossa, was fired by HSA-UWC. Until a few days ago, you led HSA, and the staff members there are still your loyal followers. Tossa’s firing was accompanied by threats of legal action should he disclose any information about you, your family or your staff. He has also been subjected to blackmail. HSA staffers have threated to reveal ‘personal issues’ that he had shared confidentially and which would be embarrassing if made public unless he leave HSA without saying what he knows about the wrongdoing of your administration.

Tossa has been through many months of internal struggle and anguish over your situation. He has been trained to put his faith in central figures and to look for God’s Will behind Unification Church situations that have all the hallmarks of corruption and abuse. I have heard tapes of you praising him for his devotion and commitment as a staff member. But that was before your behavior became so outrageous that Tossa could no longer stand it and told you directly that he could not agree with your immoral course of action. He was sent home for a month before being fired because your staff closed ranks around you and pilloried him for speaking the truth, instead of joining him in confronting you.

I would imagine quite a few people know that Tossa was fired because he spoke up about his concerns for you and what you were doing. Confronting you was very difficult to do, and brave of him. For someone like Tossa with deep faith in God, TP and the Divine Principle, to confront you as a child of TP over your behavior required enormous courage. His firing was payback, and it speaks volumes about you and the organization you have created to protect yourself rather than to carry out its providential purpose.

Many members know Tossa as a translator for Father. He has often spent whole days doing simultaneous translation from Father’s difficult Korean into English. He has also worked in your office to translate speeches and other UC documents, to help with the education of blessed children, and other tasks.

But that is not the Tossa that I know. To me, he is a beautiful son. His suffering now is hard for me to bear. I find myself weeping for him and for God. I am enraged. I feel like Jacob when Joseph was abused by his brothers. What can a father do? It is not that Tossa has lost a job. (I have often warned him that his devotion to the UC would never be reciprocated, and his pay kept him in virtual poverty anyway.) My sadness and anger are because evil and abusive leadership have once more risen to dominate an organization I served most of my adult life, and people that I care about and love have been deeply hurt.

Let me tell you a few things about the Tossa that I know. His birth in Amman, Jordan seemed something of a miracle to me, at that time a missionary and regional director for the Middle East struggling endlessly to build a foundation for TP in the land of the Patriarchs, of Moses and Jesus. No father could want a better son. Of course he is not perfect, but he was obedient and good. As my missions evolved, he moved with us from Jordan to Cyprus and then Greece. He learned Greek during our first summer in Athens, at age 7. At 10, he came with me to a regional Principle workshop on a mountain in Turkey, where he presented the parallels of history.

At home he always cared for his younger siblings, first Anmar, born in Cyprus, then Alexander and Harmony, born in Athens. He cared for others too, especially children less fortunate than he in being able to learn at school. At 12 I took him to Korea to join the GOP program, designed to help Western BCs learn Korean. I remember sitting on the stairs of the GOP dorm before having to leave him there. I told him if he stayed in the top three of his GOP class that I thought it would be worth my effort to continue supporting him there. He never forgot, and never gave me a reason to bring him home. He finished High School in Korea and went to Sun Moon University.

But he has always been sensitive: caring for others has been an expression of his sensitive heart. (Anyone who has witnessed his infinite patience with his children, including a son with serious disabilities, will know what I mean.) Korean school kids can be mean and bullying, and Tossa always hated that. His treatment by Korean students at SM University became too much for him, so he came to live with me in the US. Later, work with the UC took him back to Korea where he tried to fit in with the Korean UC HQ staff. Eventually, he could not continue there either due to a culture obsessed with position rather than caring and love. He returned to the US, greatly discouraged. Then he went to work for you, In Jin, hopeful at the time that this would finally prove an environment in which TP and the Principle were actually the model and guiding light for work and relationships.

Tossa would never write a public letter like this to you. He is too humble and self-deprecating. He has also been your employee and a faithful UC member. I have no such constraints. You don’t know me, but I can tell you I don’t spend my time in basements writing anonymous blogs critical of the Unification Church. I was born into a strict Bruderhof Community, in England. I had my first encounter with God at age 13, and from that time committed myself to seeking His will for my life. I joined the UC in Washington, DC, in 1969, at age 21. After just a couple of months I moved to New Haven to pioneer the first center in New England. After the first speaking tour by TF, I was sent as a state pioneer to Oklahoma. In 1975 I was one of the 120 US missionaries sent out to the world. I went to Egypt, my first choice when asked. I studied Arabic and Islam, and started a language institute. I was deported twice and imprisoned once. In December 1979 I was appointed the first regional director of the Middle East, and soon after made Cyprus my base. In 1992, I was appointed first continental director for the Middle East and North Africa. In addition to leading the church in that difficult region (some 21 countries), I was founding publisher and editor of the Middle East Times (owned by News World Communications), I organized regional academic conferences for PWPA in the Middle East and for East-West European dialogue in the last years of the Cold War, organized inter-faith conferences with IRF-offshoot organizations, and carried out countless other missions in the region.

In 1999 I resigned my Unification Church responsibilities. I could not go on. What I was preaching and telling others about the Unification path had become too far removed from the reality of an organization riddled with corruption and dishonesty. I also could no longer present myself and my family as a model of what we believed. I came to believe that by staying active in the UC I would actually be contributing to the damage being done to TP’s rightful legacy.

In 2000 Mr. Joo fired me as publisher and editor of the Middle East Times, after 18 years of service. I had opposed the purchase of UPI (after conducting due diligence on its London operation for Mr. Joo) on the basis that I thought it was unjustified to ask members to contribute more money to a venture with such uncertain objectives and of such uncertain value to the providence. Mr. Joo offered to put me in charge of the UPI operation in London, and to combine that with the Middle East Times. It was tempting, but how could I accept a post to run an operation that I had advised against purchasing? Mr. Joo tried blackmail. He told me if I did not accept the UPI job, he would fire me from the Middle East Times. I refused to take the job, and he did fire me, ending all my formal ties with the UC and its projects.

I write all of this because I want you to know that I did not give the best 30 years of my life to an organization that would be run by a leadership as corrupt as yours. And I did not raise my children to live for God and TP so that they could be abused by self-centered and carnal UC leaders, as you and your staff have proved to be.

UC foreign missionaries typically had the benefit of living far from the center of action with its inevitable politics. Occasionally we would come to conferences and training seminars, and we would see changes taking place in the UC, good and bad. For me, my personal relationship with Father was deepened by living and working in very challenging circumstances, and often alone. I had had some difficulty connecting to him when I worked in the US, but I came to understand him better as my own mission overseas unfolded. My personal relationship with him was cemented in a jail cell in Cairo.

But I never understood you children of TP. You were so distant; elevated on pedestals. Sometimes I would hear how difficult your lives had been. That was hard to believe, but I tried. (After all, the lives of Moses and the people of God in the wilderness, of the tribes in Babylon, of Jesus and the early Christians in the Roman Empire, of the Jews in Nazi Germany, of the Cambodians under Pol Pot, of the Russians under Stalin, of Arabs under dictators… those were difficult lives.)

The truth as I see it today is that some of you children of TP, who have received blessings above all others in history, are in fact the most trenchant problem facing the future of the Unification Church. You should be the central people cementing the legacy of TP, but all I see from you is the selfishness and bickering of spoiled brats. You fight over UC assets as if you created them or as if they belonged to you or your family. You spend millions of precious dollars donated by members to fight your legal battles against one another. I had a front row seat as Hyun Jin systematically dismantled The Washington Times simply to spite his siblings and gain leverage for his own ambitions, and despite his knowing the great love and personal investment TP had made to build up that newspaper over decades. I see derisive, often petty, letters go back and forth from one sibling camp to another. It’s truly nauseating.

We are told of the evil Kwak group, as if Hyun Jin was a victim of the diabolical machinations of that once central disciple. But, no, Kwak is not the central problem. Hyun Jin is. Kwak was my central figure for some 20 years. It is clear to me that in the end he was seduced by the lure of wealth and financial security to go against TP. He had bet on Hyun Jin when that son was anointed the fourth Adam. He could not accept the change of providence. He is like your staff members, who now depend on salaries from HSA-UWC. Because of their lack of character and understanding, they go along with your perversion of the Principle and TP’s traditions. They are your enablers, as Kwak is the chief enabler of Hyun Jin.

The arrogance you display is sickening. Do you really think members are so dumb and ignorant of the truth to accept your weird polygamy as a new standard for Unificationism? Do you really think you can continue indefinitely to preach a life of living the Principle while hiding your life of adultery and deception?

The first priesthood God created was that of the Levite Aaron and his four sons. God instructed Moses in how to guide Aaron’s family in these serious responsibilities. Mistakes were to be punished by death, and were. When two of Aaron’s four sons lit incense without permission they were immediately killed by God. Through Moses, God pounded the law into the “stiff-necked” Israelites. Its main tenets are repeated in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, and were repeated again and again by other prophets and patriarchs in the centuries that followed. It is a blunt law. Sins of murder, adultery and homosexual relations are punishable by death. So too are violations of the Sabbath, and a host of other specific infractions of the law. God provided for the Levites through tithes made by members of the other tribes, and when the Israelites entered Canaan the Levites were given 48 cities to reside in but were not given a portion of the land to occupy. (Ephraim and Manassah, the sons of Joseph, were treated as separate tribes and each got land to occupy, bringing the total number of tribal territories to 12.) Meanwhile, the lineage of the messiah ran through the generations of Judah.

Jesus was of Judah, but as Hebrews explains, he was also of the order of Melchizedek. That is, although he was not a Levite, he was chosen by God to teach and save the people. His moral teaching went far beyond the Mosaic Law. He of course condemned sexual immorality, but he went further, warning that adultery of the heart was a sin. He stressed circumcision of the heart, even as Moses had taught the Israelites. TheLevitical class at the time of Jesus did not grasp, or want to obey, this law, as evidenced by their rejection of Jesus.

Paul also stressed the importance of purity to the early Christians. In fact he contradicted the Levites when he preached fervently that anyone who was circumcised in heart could be saved by Christ, whether Jew or Gentile. And he warned the new churches which he founded and nurtured that they should put out of their midst those with uncircumcised hearts who practiced idolatry, sexual immorality and other perversions of the Gospel.

The Unification standard is higher yet. It demands that we not only create within ourselves an uncircumcised heart, but that we cultivate a heart in the image of God’s own infinite heart of love. We are not complete simply by avoiding sin, but only through fulfilling our potential as children of God.

I don’t see this message in your behavior. You are blessed to be in the lineage of TP, but you have not qualified as a priest of the order of Melchizedek. This is because you have not treated your position of leadership as a sacred trust and responsibility, but rather as a birthright. It seems most of your siblings are in the same situation. We all sin, although we were taught that the true children would be sinless. To keep our hearts pure, we have to repent and change. It seems to me that you are unaware of your sin, and your enablers are complicit in maintaining that status quo by failing to challenge you. Instead they join you in the pretense that what you are doing is fine in the sight of God and TP. I don’t think I have ever heard one of you children repenting and asking for forgiveness from God and a membership that you have so often misused and abused. This is why God cannot use you for ultimate good, and for the growth of his church. It is why, too, you are ruining the Unification Church and the legacy of your parents.

It is not for me to judge your personal life, except as it intrudes on your mission as a UC leader, a role model for members, and someone with the power to hurt others, including my son. You should never have accepted the position you hold now, given the confusion in your personal life. And you certainly should have resigned as soon as you realized that your extra-marital affair would produce a child. You may believe that you have a perfectly valid basis for what you have done, but I can’t imagine any reasonable and moral person, let alone any true follower of TP and the Principle, accepting your behavior as consistent with the responsibilities of a UC leader.

I believe it is not entirely coincidental that this situation has blown up just as Father has ended his course on earth. I believe he will be able to do more in the spirit world. Clearly the state of his family was not improving despite all his prayers and efforts. If the central family is divided and corrupt, how will the providence ever advance? Yes, it is that serious.

This crisis has demonstrated that there is no robust, clear, circumcised and unified UC leadership. While an official memo went out announcing your resignation, ‘for health reasons’, unofficial communications explained the truth. What are members in Africa, Asia and Latin America, let alone in the US and America, to believe? Where is the guidance that all members deserve at a time like this?

Again, In Jin, the problem is you. Because you have not repented or apologized, because you have directed your staff to punish those who exposed your sin instead of telling the truth about it, because you and they have spun a webs of lies designed to confuse members about your sin in the name of some Oprahesque theory of love, you will now be responsible for the loss of faith by many good and faithful people, and especially young members trying to find their way in a confusing world of false idols and sin, members who looked up to you as their role model.

I don’t know the members who work with you. But they too have failed the rest of the membership and the institution of the UC itself. How can they stand before a congregation when they have been complicit in your unprincipled duplicity? How can they provide credible advice and guidance to members? How can they claim authority to represent God, TP and the Principle?

I don’t think I am alone among members and others who have dedicated long years to the UC cause who are now shocked and disgusted by what they witness. They too are concerned with the future for the children they raised in the faith and whose spiritual lives are at risk. Many have turned their backs on the UC because of the mismanagement, corruption and outright evil committed by its leaders.

Enough is enough. It is time for you and your errant siblings, along with your enablers and other unclean UC leaders, to step back and listen to the real word of God that can only come through the mouths of those circumcised in heart whom He chooses to be his messengers and representatives. Perhaps the most recently anointed son can save your family and the church. I don’t know. Judah was chosen by God, but when it failed to listen to His commandments, when it persisted in idolatry and corruption despite the warnings of the prophets, it was completely destroyed, as was the temple in Jerusalem. Times have changed but I believe if you do not step aside and allow the UC to be renewed and rebuilt as the real embodiment of God, TP and the Principle, it too will be destroyed and God will find other means, other institutions and other people to represent Him on earth.

May God’s Will be done.

Thomas Cromwell