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pearlsephoni · 2 years

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Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 4: Size Difference

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: G

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: 1,606

Summary: Kageyama's clinginess is one of the great joys in Shoyo's life...until it leads him to a Definitely Terrible(tm) realization.

A/N: Author’s notes can be read on AO3.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that if Kageyama is visiting Shoyo, neither of them are getting any alone time.

Not that Shoyo minded. In fact, it’s what he most looked forward to. Playing on teams across the world from each other meant that any time they had together was spent together. They got plenty of space from each other at any other time.

Still, even after a couple years of long-distance, Shoyo couldn’t help feeling both amused and touched by how clingy Kageyama could be. Every morning, he woke up with an arm heavy on his waist and breaths either ruffling his hair or tickling his throat. Every meal was punctuated with a kiss. And if Shoyo was sitting down, he was on Kageyama’s lap, settled between his legs, or holding him between his own legs.

But Kageyama’s favorite way of clinging to Shoyo was back hugs. If they were making dinner or doing chores together, he would be satisfied with a steadying hand on his waist or a brush across his shoulders as he scooted past him. But if Shoyo was standing at any counter and doing something, whether he was brushing his teeth or washing the dishes or chopping up vegetables, Kageyama was behind him, pressing chest to back and wrapping his arms tight and warm around his waist.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Shoyo laughed one morning, a warm weight at his back making him pause in making some tea.

Kageyama’s grunt of response was muffled in his shoulder.

“What tea do you want today?”

“Mmph.” It took another beat for Kageyama to lift his head and let his chin rest on Shoyo’s shoulder instead. “I need caffeine.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Kageyama always liked to rest his head on Shoyo’s shoulder when he held him from behind, even though Shoyo couldn’t imagine bending down that much was comfortable. Not that he minded. He liked being able to just turn his head and press kisses to Kageyama’s temple. “Why’re you up so early?” he murmured into dark hair.

“Couldn’t sleep when you got up. Why’re you up?”

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Kageyama straightened up, and Shoyo could feel his questioning gaze, but he didn’t elaborate, and for once, Kageyama didn’t pry. “Wanna make some breakfast?”

“Hm…later.”

“Lazy.”

“Shut it.”

Shoyo snickered as he plucked the electric kettle from its stand and poured boiled water over the black tea bags in their mugs: they were fruit-themed, with oranges and orange slices adorning the rim of Shoyo’s mug, and blueberries lining the bottom of Kageyama’s. They had been gag Christmas presents from Natsu, but Kageyama had genuinely been delighted by them, much to Shoyo’s exasperation. Natsu was fully capable of enough mischief without Kageyama indulging her, though on the other hand, maybe he should be grateful her shenanigans only extended to silly mugs. So far.

“Pass me the milk?”

Kageyama let out a huff that was unnervingly horse-like, before he slowly pulled away from Shoyo to pad over to the fridge. As soon as he set the milk carton on the counter next to the mugs, his arms were snug around Shoyo’s waist again, but this time, he didn’t burrow into his shoulder. No, this time, he carefully rested his chin on top of Shoyo’s head.

The feeling of that firm chin sinking into his ginger mop made Shoyo still. “Tobi?”

“Hm?”

“What’re you doing?”

“…Holding you?”

“No, I mean, where are you putting your head?”

He felt Kageyama go still. “Um.”

Mild horror began creeping through Shoyo as he carefully pushed the mugs to the side and turned to face Kageyama. He didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed it before, but now, all he could do was stare in dismay at Kageyama’s collarbones, which fell right at his eyeline.

Meaning his head did, in fact, fit perfectly under Kageyama’s chin. “…No way.”

“What?”

“No way!” Shoyo glared up at Kageyama, who stared back in sleepy confusion. “How do I fit under your chin again?! I’ve grown a ton since high school!”

“You grew a handful of centimeters, and I did, too.”

“Still!” He wasn’t proud of the whine in his voice, but he had more important things to worry about just then. “I thought our height difference was smaller now!”

“Guess not.”

The sight of that smirk sent annoyance and desire shuddering down Shoyo’s spine. Before he could question his own wisdom, he was bracing his hands on the counter and lifting himself to sit on the edge, forcing Kageyama to lean back to avoid getting his nose jammed. “The hell are you doing?”

“Trying to get taller than you!”

Shoyo’s lips were already curving into a frown when his maneuver ended up just bringing him to eye level with Kageyama…who unfortunately noticed his underwhelming discovery. “Uh-huh. And how’s that going for you?”

“Shut up!” Shoyo snapped. “You’re so mean, Yama. Meanie-yama.”

“Really? First time you’re calling me that since high school, and it’s over this?”

“You wouldn’t get it.” Despite his own annoyance, Shoyo didn’t neglect adding milk to Kageyama’s mug before handing it off and taking a hold of his own tea. “Shut up and drink your tea, Meanie-yama. And stop laughing!”

Kageyama didn’t stop laughing, not until he nearly burned his nostrils from trying to sip at the tea mid-laugh. That was enough to put a smile back on Shoyo’s face for the rest of the morning.

Still…stupid as it was, he couldn’t stop sulking for a moment every time he remembered or re-noticed their height difference. It was one thing for his height to pose a challenge with volleyball — Shoyo had years of experience with that. But he didn’t have experience with Kageyama being intolerably smug over being taller than him, and that sparked an urge to rob him of that smugness.

That urge lingered throughout the day, but he didn’t see a chance to act on it until they slid under the covers that night. That’s when an idea finally came to him.

He turned towards Kageyama and waited for him to drape an arm over his waist like he always did. Then, before Kageyama could tuck him under his chin (a habit that now annoyed Shoyo after his morning discovery), Shoyo slid himself up until Kageyama’s head was falling under his chin.

“What’re you doing?”

Shoyo froze at the drowsy question. “Uh. Nothing.”

“Then stay still, I can’t sleep.”

“Sorry.” Shoyo shimmied himself around until he could rest his chin on Kageyama’s head, before he obeyed the grumpy command.

Silence finally fell over the room, broken only by their soft breaths. Shoyo was right on the edge of unconsciousness, only to be yanked back by Kageyama suddenly speaking again. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

“You are such an idiot.”

“Huh?!”

Kageyama slid his head back to look up at Shoyo, his eyes somehow glittering in the murky light filtering in from the street. “Are you trying to make me feel short? In bed? When we’re supposed to be sleeping?”

“No! I just…thought this could be comfier.”

“Sho, I swear to god—”

“What?!”

“Your height didn’t stop you from playing volleyball professionally. Why the hell is it bothering you now?”

“I dunno!” Shoyo finally admitted in a burst. “I dunno why! I guess it’s just…I was really happy with how much I’d grown, and I kinda…forgot that you would’ve grown, too.” He squirmed, burying his nose in Kageyama’s hair in a pitiful attempt to muffle his words. “I didn’t care before, but I guess when I thought I was closer to your height, I got really excited. But I’m not. I’m just…as short next to you as always.”

He waited for a scoff and a comforting remark disguised as dismissiveness. But instead, he felt his back relaxing under a broad, warm hand drawing soothing strokes along his spine. “Sorry. I didn’t realize it would bother you so much.”

“Don’t apologize,” Shoyo sighed. “I’m just…being stupid.”

“Kind of, yeah. But I don’t want you to feel bad about it. Should I stop putting my chin on your head?”

Shoyo was stunned into silence for a moment. Kageyama had never been cruel to him (barring a few stumbles in high school), but he’d also never really indulged Shoyo’s more irrational impulses. For him to offer to change something so silly…had Shoyo really been so visibly upset all day? “No,” he eventually murmured, “that’s okay. It…felt kinda nice.”

“Really? I can keep doing it?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“Thank fuck.”

A surprised laugh burst out of Shoyo. “Wait, why are you so happy about that?”

“Because I didn’t realize how much resting my head on your shoulder messed with my back until today. I didn’t feel achy at all when I rested on top of your head.”

“Tobio!” Shoyo blindly reached to pinch at his nose, and managed to find his cheek instead. “Why would you keep doing it if it was hurting you?”

“It wasn’t hurting me.” It was truly remarkable how clearly Shoyo could hear both the dismissal and embarrassment in that voice. “I just felt kinda sore after. But it felt good enough to be worth it.”

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Just…I love you so much, you big, stupid jerk.” Shoyo tried and failed to muffle his laughter in Kageyama’s hair, but he only landed a scolding pinch at Shoyo’s waist in response.

“I love you too, you stupid little dumbass.”

The smile that was audible in those words made Shoyo press a gentle kiss to Kageyama’s head. And this time, when he approached the edge of consciousness, it was with a smile on his lips and the love of his life snuggled under his chin.

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r0mantic-era · 1 year

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a little more stupid, a little more scared

KageHina Celebration Week 2022! Day 5

Prompts: Promises, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex

Rated E, 32.1k words

Summary:

When Hinata Shouyou retires from professional volleyball, it’s bittersweet. At thirty-four years of age, he’s represented Japan in three different Olympic games, played for four different professional teams in two countries, and spent more hours on the court than he can even fathom calculating. Thirty-four year old Shouyou has long since achieved the wildest fantasies and farthest-reaching dreams of fifteen-year-old Shouyou and he has loved every minute of the journey.

But, like all things, the career of a volleyball player must come to an end.

Hinata and Kageyama navigate life after volleyball, experience life crises, and realize that they are dumb about love — all at the same time.

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pearlsephoni · 2 years

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Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 2: Bed Sharing

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kagehina/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, cameos from the MSBY4

Word Count: 2,842

Summary: No amount of improved self-care can protect Shoyo from being taken down by a measly sinus infection. The last thing he needs is Kageyama's teasing. What he ends up getting couldn't be more different.

A/N: Sorry for how late this is getting to Tumblr! Hopefully you guys can enjoy despite kghn celebration week being long gone 😅 Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Shoyo wasn’t good at being sick. He was better than before he’d gone to Brazil, certainly, but no amount of knowing how much rest would benefit him could keep him from feeling restless in bed.

“Guys,” he croaked, listening to the bustle of his teammates in the kitchen, “I can get my own food and stuff!”

A resounding “NO!” hit him from the kitchen, making him wince at what his neighbors would think of the noise. Or maybe it was because of his headache.

Okay, so he felt like shit. He could at least admit that now, which was an improvement from yesterday, when he’d tried refusing to leave practice early despite his stuffy nose. He’d been sent home, stuffed into Sakusa’s car (a very pleasant surprise — not even his layered masks could take away from the thoughtfulness) and carted to a last-minute doctor’s appointment, where he got diagnosed with a sinus infection and received a prescription for some fast-acting antibiotics.

But those antibiotics still required three days of doses, plus a few day afterwards for them to run their course. Hinata could only hope he’d be allowed back into practice before he was back to 100%, or he’d be crawling out of his skin from a full week without volleyball.

He felt his eyes growing heavy despite wanting to at least stay awake for the guys to finish making him dinner. It was only Sakusa’s entrance that roused him from his doze. “Ah. Were you sleeping?”

“Mm…no,” Shoyo mumbled, shaking his head as though he could shake the drowsiness out. “What’s up?”

“Just clearing these out so you’ll have space for more later.” Sakusa collected the empty mugs from Shoyo’s bedside table and balanced them in his arms with surprising steadiness. “The others are almost done cooking. Do you need anything before eating?”

Shoyo began to shake his head, before he felt something outside of his stuffy nose, sore throat, and persistent headache. “Just the bathroom.” Sakusa looked panicked for a moment, looking from his full arms to Shoyo unsteadily standing up, and Shoyo couldn’t help laughing, “I don’t need help to go to the bathroom, Omi-san, I’m fine.”

“That wasn’t— I was just—” Sakusa gave up with a huff and marched back to the kitchen. “Fine.”

Shoyo hadn’t been lying — a sinus infection wasn’t going to make him need help just to walk around the apartment. But he did end up needing a bit more time in the bathroom than usual, the building pressure in his head making him move much more slowly, and by the time he shuffled back to his bedroom, Bokuto was sitting on his bed with a tray on his lap, carrying a steaming bowl of soup. He looked awfully serious about something before he noticed Shoyo and a smile split across his face. “There you are! I thought the soup would get cold before you could eat it!”

“Soup’s not gonna get cold in five minutes, Bokkun,” Atsumu sighed from where he lounged in the chair at Shoyo’s desk. He looked up from his phone to watch Shoyo as he climbed back into bed. “Everything alright?”

“Mm…yeah, just…everything hurts. And my nose is stuffy no matter how much I try to blow it.”

“Yeah, we can hear that.” The words were chuckled, but Shoyo could hear the undercurrent of concern in them.

“That’s what we made this soup for!” Bokuto declared. He’d stood up with the tray to let Shoyo climb under the covers, and now he carefully balanced the tray on his lap. “You can eat that and take some medicine!”

“Thanks, guys.” There was an ache in Shoyo’s throat that he couldn’t blame on sinus drainage. “I really appreciate all this.”

Atsumu let out a soft laugh as he stood up and began making his way to the bedroom door. “No need to thank us, we’re not being totally selfless here. We gotta make sure our greatest decoy is back out there before the next set of matches!”

For the first time that day, Shoyo felt a sharp grin pull at his lips. “I will be! I promise!”

It would never fail to pleasantly surprise him, how much his teammates really cared about him. He was used to having teammates that he could also consider a family of sorts, but that didn’t mean he appreciated them feeding him and cleaning up the kitchen for him any less. He’d told Kageyama all about the different ways his team was helping out, just to reassure him that he was “fine” and that “no, Tobio, you don’t have to come all the way from Tokyo.”

Speaking of. Shoyo glanced at his phone with a small frown. He hadn’t received any new messages from Kageyama since before dinner, and he’d said he would call sometime tonight. Maybe something had come up. He’d probably call later.

And then he didn’t.

Nor did he call the next morning. Shoyo didn’t bring it up — it didn’t really matter, especially when Kageyama was still texting him to check in — but it was a little unusual. It was the first time he’d missed a call without letting Shoyo know before or after.

Then a few hours passed, and Shoyo blinked awake from yet another nap (how was he sleeping so much and still feeling so crummy?) to find his phone screen empty of any text notifications from his boyfriend. The last message he’d received was a few hours ago.

Which was fine. It was fine. Maybe he had a morning practice that he hadn’t told Shoyo about. Things happened, things came up, and it was fine. He was fine. They were fine.

Never mind the fact that he huddled back under the covers with a frown, holding his phone up to his face as if staring at it would make new messages appear. He ended up dozing off to the sound of one of Kenma’s old streams and a distinct lack of messages from Kageyama.

As it turned out, he didn’t need to wait for a message at all.

“Shoyo?”

His eyes flew open, and his head swam from how quickly he sat up. “…Tobi?!”

Sure enough, his bedroom doorway soon framed the figure of Kageyama, a smirk on his face and a steaming mug in his hand. “Wow. You look like shit.”

“Thanks, asshole,” Shoyo laughed thickly. “What’re you doing here? What’s that? Here, lemme—”

He started pushing his covers off, only to be stopped by Kageyama’s firm, “Don’t! Don’t get up.”

Shoyo automatically fell back against his pillows, though not without a petulant pout. “I’m sick, Tobi, I don’t wanna get you sick, too.”

“Sinus infections aren’t contagious, dumbass.”

“How do you—?”

“Bokuto-san told me. He answered your phone when I called yesterday.”

“Wait.” Shoyo’s eyes widened for a moment before narrowing at Kageyama. “So you did call? You just talked to Bokuto-san instead?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you call again and actually talk to me?”

Kageyama blinked, his ears reddening as his perplexed silence stretched. “I…I was worried about you. I was focused on how I could help.”

Shoyo rolled his eyes before curling up under his covers. “That’s why I didn’t want the guys to say anything to you.”

“I would’ve known something was wrong the second I heard you talk. You sound like you have cotton balls filling your head.”

“Are you here to help me or bully me?”

“I can do both.” True to his word, Kageyama carefully perched next to Shoyo, running his free fingers through the ginger hair that peeked out of the covers. “C’mon, sit up and drink this while it’s hot.”

With a whine, Shoyo pushed himself upright again, grimacing at the way the pressure in his head seemed to intensify with the change in angle. He missed the concern in Kageyama’s eyes as he took the mug, and was startled when he heard, “That bad?”

“Yeah. But it’s only this bad for a day or two. And if the antibiotics work like they’re supposed to, I should be good to get back to practice on Monday.” He took a careful sip, and let out a content hum when he tasted tea with ginger and honey.

“Don’t push yourself, dumbass. Give yourself time to actually get better.”

Shoyo’s heart squeezed at the worry lining Kageyama’s face. He gently nudged him with his knee under the covers and smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way, but was probably more teasing. “I know. Why can’t you believe I’m better at taking care of myself?”

Kageyama’s concern melted into annoyance, a sight Shoyo was much more used to. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Well…I guess that’s fine, if it means you’ll keep taking care of me like this.”

And now the annoyance turned into embarrassment. Shoyo could easily spend his whole day making Kageyama’s face flicker through the whole range of human emotion. “Shut up and drink your tea.”

“It’s yummy, thank you!”

“It’s not supposed to be yummy, it’s supposed to help your throat. Is it working?”

“I think so.”

“Good.” Kageyama sat there in a self-satisfied silence, watching Shoyo sip at his tea with a small smile. For someone who was so bad with words, Kageyama was rarely this quiet around Shoyo, especially with soft adoration etched into each line of his face. Shoyo loved it, felt his own adoration blooming in his chest until he couldn’t help but nestle close enough to rest his head on Kageyama’s shoulder. And Kageyama let him, staying completely still except to let his cheek pillow against Shoyo’s hair.

They stayed sitting like that until Shoyo finally finished his tea with a dramatic, “Ahhh! All done!” He met Kageyama’s mildly annoyed stare with a sunny smile as he handed the empty mug over. “Thanks, Tobi!”

“Mm. Are you hungry?”

“I guess I could eat.”

“Good. I got you ramen for lunch, and tamago kake gohan for dinner.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. I would’ve made something, but I didn’t have time between practice and the train, and it would’ve been cold by the time I got here anyway. After you eat, you can have some cold medicine.” He patted Shoyo’s covered legs as he stood, only to be stopped by a hand around his free fingers. “What?”

“I wanna kiss you,” Shoyo said with a small pout, satisfaction bubbling up when Kageyama rolled his eyes and bent close enough for him to press their lips together. “Thank you, Tobio. Seriously. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I know. But I wanted to.” With a final kiss and tiny grin, Kageyama made his way to the kitchen, leaving Shoyo to snuggle back under the covers and listen to the sounds of his boyfriend bustling around.

He liked to think he was pretty good about counting his blessings — he had a career he loved, all of his hard work towards his goals had paid off so far, he had a nice apartment, got along great with his team, had time to visit home at least once a month. And somehow, on top of all that, the universe also let him reunite with the man that he was increasingly certain was the love of his life.

Yes, he tried to stay aware of how good he had it. But that didn’t stop moments like this from taking his breath away with how lucky he felt. It made tears of joy prick at his eyes, and when Kageyama next poked his head into the room, it was to see Shoyo blowing his nose. “D’you wanna eat in here, or are you feeling up for getting out of bed?” he asked once Shoyo threw away the tissue with a bleary sniff.

“Can I eat in the living room? We’ve got a match against Raijin soon — I should watch some old games while I’m stuck inside.”

With that, Shoyo was soon set up on the floor with a blanket around his shoulders, his ramen steaming on the coffee table, and an old Raijin vs Falcons match on the tv. Kageyama was on the couch behind him, munching away at a pork onigiri from Onigiri Miya. As soon as they were both done eating, Shoyo crawled onto the couch, settled himself between Kageyama’s legs, and nestled into his chest. “Don’t get too comfortable,” Kageyama mumbled, despite his arms tightening around Shoyo. “You need to take some medicine while you’re full.”

“Mm…after the game.” He felt a sigh ruffle his hair, but Kageyama didn’t say anything else.

He didn’t end up getting any cough medicine. What he did get was an impromptu nap, and when he suddenly blinked awake to a blue light from the tv, he was also treated to the sound of a soft snore above his head. “Yama,” he groaned with a laugh, “Yama, wake up.”

Kageyama snapped awake with a snort and “…shit.”

“Good nap?”

“Shit,” he repeated instead of an answer. “So much for your medicine.”

“It’s ok, I think the broth helped clear my nose for a little bit.” When he pushed himself upright, he saw evidence of his nose clearing up, in the form of a dried patch of snot on Kageyama’s shirt. “…Oops.”

“Christ,” Kageyama muttered with a soft laugh. Without any further warning, he sat up just enough to strip the shirt off, leaving himself half-naked as he slouched back into the couch. His brows raised at the open appreciation on Shoyo’s face. “…Don’t even think about it.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t need to, perv! How are you horny when you’re sick?”

Shoyo shrugged with a beatific grin. “Well, my skin does feel eeeextra sensitive when I’m sick.” He let a hand drift up Kageyama’s torso as he spoke, until it came to a rest against his collarbones. Hope sparked in him when he felt a shudder run through Kageyama, but then his wandering hand was caught and pulled away.

“I’m not gonna let you suffocate and die because you wanted to suck me off while you had a stuffy nose.”

“Who said anything about me sucking you off?”

“And getting snot all over me isn’t my idea of a sexy time.”

“Boooooo, killjoy,” Shoyo grouched, slouching into a lump of sniffles and blankets.

“Just take your medicine, dumbass.” Kageyama got up, presumably to throw his shirt into the laundry and get the cough syrup. Shoyo tried to stay awake, he really did, and he even thought he was successful…until he woke up to fingers pinching his cheek. “Go to bed.”

“Owwww,” he whined, swatting at Kageyama’s hand. “Can’t you wake me up with a kiss or something? Akaashi-san never wakes Bokuto-san up with pinching.”

“Too bad I’m not Akaashi-san. Take this and go to bed.”

Shoyo frowned at the tiny plastic cup of cough syrup being shoved at him, but the sight of a glass of orange juice in Kageyama’s other hand motivated him to take the cup and tilt it all into his mouth in one go. His face immediately crumpled at the taste, and he started grabbing at the orange juice, ignoring the snort he earned as he finally snatched it. “God, that’s gross,” he sighed when he eventually lowered the glass. It was still half-full — it was impossible to properly chug with a stuffy nose.

“I’ve seen you put away shots that could be gasoline,” Kageyama scoffed. “Quit being so dramatic.”

“Quit being so mean.”

“Quit stalling and go to bed.” Kageyama plucked the half-empty glass from Shoyo’s hand and stared down at him with raised eyebrows.

Shoyo tried to stare him down in return. He didn’t last long. With a huff, he slouched his way off the couch and shuffled back to bed, unaware of how childlike he looked with his blanket wrapped around his shoulders and trailing after him on the floor.

He left his blanket strewn haphazardly at the foot of his bed as he climbed under the covers, ready to snuggle into Kageyama as soon as he joined him. Turned out, his body had different plans.

One moment, Shoyo was getting settled against his pillows. The next, he was blinking awake in a darkness that was only broken by the light sneaking in through his curtains. There was an arm draped heavy over his waist, a solid warmth against his back, and soft breaths tickling his neck. He tried to carefully turn over so he could snuggle closer to the warmth, but he’d barely even shuffled before he heard a low voice at his ear. “Morning, lazy.”

“It’s not morning,” Shoyo laughed quietly, flipping around more quickly now that he knew Kageyama was already awake. “And I’m not lazy, I’m sick!”

Kageyama just gave a noncommittal hum in response, but there was no mistaking the sleepy adoration lining his heavy-lidded gaze and soft smile. “Are you ready for dinner?” he asked, as though he weren’t burrowing deeper into his pillow and holding Shoyo a little tighter.

“Nah.” Shoyo nuzzled into the curve of Kageyama’s neck, brushing a kiss to the smooth skin. “Dinner can wait.”

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pearlsephoni · 2 years

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Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 5: Promises | Hurt/Comfort

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: M

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: 2,769

Summary: What was supposed to be a relaxing night at a local bar turns sour as ugly insecurities become forces to be reckoned with.

A/N: Author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Tobio knew, objectively, that his boyfriend was hot. With his sunburst hair, kind eyes, bright smile, and that body, god, that body, it seemed impossible for someone to not fall just a little in love with Hinata.

Tobio also knew, objectively, that Hinata loved him, and only him. They were devoted to each other in a way that was only ever challenged by their love for volleyball, and absolutely nobody could come between them. Hinata especially wouldn’t stand for it — he was the most loyal person Tobio had ever met, another reason for him to love him so fiercely.

And yet.

He was kicking himself for not offering to get them more drinks. Hinata had beat him to it, and now he was sitting alone, in their booth, fiddling with his empty beer glass as he watched his vibrant boyfriend wait by the bar and— there it was.

Hinata had accidentally jostled someone as he wove his way to the bar, and he flashed an apologetic smile as he caught them — her, Tobio realized with some dismay — by the shoulders and steadied her. Tobio couldn’t hear what he said, and he couldn’t even see the woman’s face, but he could see Hinata laugh at her response before he got the bartender’s attention.

Tobio wasn’t surprised, nor was he worried — this always happened to Hinata. With how open and friendly he could be to strangers, Tobio couldn’t really blame them for being drawn in and interested in more. Lord knows he wasn’t immune to it, even after all these years. But it did still feel kind of…shitty, watching his boyfriend get chatted up while he sat alone in a booth without even a beer to sip at.

It would’ve been fine if that had been it, if Hinata had just ordered the beers and continued a friendly conversation. But instead, when Hinata turned back to the woman, his smile faltered, and his eyes shot down to where she was running one long, immaculately-manicured nail along his bare forearm. He pulled away with another apologetic smile, this time much more subdued, as he shook his head, and thankfully, that was when the bartender returned with the beers and gave Hinata an excuse to slide away.

Tobio couldn’t go and shoo the lady off, because then they would lose the booth and Hinata would get all upset about that, especially when “I had it handled, Tobi! And now we don’t have a booth!”

So he just…sat there and watched as Hinata hurried over to their table with a bright smile, looking like he hadn’t spent the last few minutes turning someone down. “Here we go!” he chirped, setting the beers down as carefully as he could while a little buzzed. “Do you want me to order us any food?”

Tobio mutely shook his head, not reaching for his new glass. A worried frown flickered over Hinata’s face, only to be replaced by surprise when Tobio took hold of his wrist and tugged him into his side of the booth. “Woah, hey!” he laughed, catching himself before he crashed into Tobio’s side. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Tobio mumbled, tucking Hinata close with an arm around his shoulders and resting his forehead in that bright hair.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.” A gentle hand fell on Tobio’s thigh and a thumb started drawing soothing circles, but for some reason, that just made Tobio feel worse. Why? For what? Because he saw Hinata get flirted with? Why did that matter, when he hadn’t flirted back? Why did that matter, when he knew, he knew Hinata would never break his trust like that?

Was it insecurity? Did he just not like the thought of other people lusting after his boyfriend? Was he worried he wouldn’t compare to some of the people who approached Hinata?

But that was stupid, too. Weird fans and strangers crushing on them was just part of being professional athletes. And even if there hadn’t been a weird amount of articles calling Tobio a “sexy setter” (how were they still not tired of that?), the desperation of Hinata’s kisses every night that they got to spend together always told him that he was still more than “sexy” enough for his boyfriend.

So why? Why did he still feel a little shitty? Why were his stupid heart and his stupid brain making him feel so stupid?

“Tobi?”

The murmur of his name brought Tobio out of his head, and he realized, with horror, that his eyes were stinging with the threat of tears. “It’s nothing,” he repeated, this time around a tightened throat. “M’just…tired, I guess.”

The ginger mop slid out from under Tobio’s forehead, forcing him to lift his head and meet Hinata’s gaze. Those warm eyes stared hard at him, as though Hinata was looking for something, before he asked, “Do you want to finish the beers, or should we go home?”

No affirmative, no “okay” or “alright.” Just a question. That’s how Tobio knew he’d been caught.

He also knew, like Hinata did, that an Irish bar was not the place for the conversation they needed to have. So he just shook his head, and said, “Let’s finish the beers. No need to waste them.”

“It’s not a waste if you’d rather go home.”

He reached out and gently pinched a cheek, a small smile curving his mouth despite himself. “Drink your beer, dumbass. We don’t waste.”

He was rewarded with a wrinkled nose and stuck-out tongue, and for a moment, he thought things were fine. But as they sipped at their beers, he noticed that Hinata was much more subdued than usual, no doubt still trying to puzzle out what had made him upset earlier. “Sho,” he murmured when Hinata had spent a full minute frowning into his beer, “stop thinking so hard. It’s seriously nothing to worry about.”

“Yes it is,” Hinata grumbled, “I don’t get it, did I do something?”

Tobio sighed, exasperation and fondness prickling through him. “No, you didn’t do anything. I would’ve told you if you did.”

Hinata nodded, his frown replaced by relief for a breath before it returned. “Then…”

“We can talk about it at home, if it’s really bothering you that much.”

Tobio thought he’d be able to catch a break for a few minutes after Hinata nodded again. But then that stupid tangerine grabbed his glass and chugged the beer like it was a bottle of water after a full five-set match. “What the hell?”

“Done!” Hinata grinned at him, unaware of the foam mustache sitting on his lip. “What about you?”

“You are…the dumbest person I’ve ever met.” He swiped the foam off Hinata’s lip and licked it from his thumb, biting back a smile at the flush that colored his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’ve heard. Are you done? With your beer?”

Tobio couldn’t stop a soft, bewildered laugh from bubbling out. He was just so stubborn and bullheaded. Tobio loved him so much. “Yeah,” he finally sighed, pushing away his half-full glass, “let’s go.”

Hinata’s smile was so sweet, so relieved, that Tobio almost forgot to dread the conversation that awaited them.

But then they left the bar, and the dread returned and worsened with every step towards his apartment. When they’d decided to come to this bar, it was mostly because it was so close to his place. Now he wished it was further away, if only so he could stall a little longer before revealing how irrational he’d been.

As soon as they stepped into his genkan, Hinata was toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in what felt like record time.

“Wow, are you that excited to interrogate me?” Tobio scoffed, taking his time to untie his shoes and find a hanger for his jacket.

“I’m not interro— intro— I’m not a cop, Tobi, don’t be dramatic.”

“Oh, I’m dramatic?!”

Hinata had the grace to look a little abashed, but it didn’t last long. “Can you just…tell me what was wrong?”

“Christ, Sho, it’s not…it really isn’t a big deal,” Tobio said, a single pleading note underlining his words. “I’m fine now.”

A scowl creased Hinata’s face, an expression that looked so foreign on his bright features that Tobio was surprised into silence. “I saw your face when I came back to the booth. I heard your breath shaking when you pulled me next to you. Something was wrong, and I don’t know why you won’t just tell me!”

“Because it’s stupid! I was just…it was stupid, and it doesn’t matter!”

“Yes, it does!” Somehow, without either of them realizing, their voices were growing louder and louder as they argued. “You said I didn’t do anything, but you were fine when we got to the bar, which means something happened there, but we were in the booth all night, except—” Tobio could see the realization dawn on Hinata, and his heart sank as those eyes widened. “The lady at the bar. You saw her flirt with me.”

“Yeah,” Tobio huffed, “congrats, you got it. A two-minute interaction bothered me, there you go. Can we drop it now?”

He tried to move past Hinata, only to be stopped by him stepping back in his way. “What? No! We haven’t even talked about it!”

“Sho, please—”

“Why did it upset you?”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“You never run away like this, I don’t—”

“What do you want me to say?” Tobio burst out. “What, you want me to say that yeah, even though we’re together and I trust you, it still fucking sucks to see other people flirt with you? That it's frustrating and even hurts a little, even though I know, I know it’s not your fault? Is that what you want me to say?”

“Yes!” Hinata cried. “Yes, you idiot, yes I want you to say that! If that’s how you feel, then tell me!”

“Why? It’s not going to change anything.”

“Oh my god.” Hinata pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes as he stalked away from Tobio, making him feel strangely like a child arguing with a teacher as he trailed after him down the hallway. “Oh my god, are you trying to be stupid?”

“Of course I’m fucking not!”

“Well, you’re doing a great job acting like it!” Hinata snapped, whirling back around with a glare. Tobio felt something in his gut twist at the tears shining from those brown eyes. “It’s not going to change anything? Are you kidding?”

“This shit isn’t like forgetting chores or needing space from each other! We can’t just fix this problem between the two of us and make it go away! It’s going to keep happening, people are going to keep flirting with you, and it’ll keep making me feel like shit, even when I know it shouldn’t.” His shoulders fell from around his ears — he hadn’t even noticed how tense they’d been — as he felt something dangerously close to defeat begin to weigh on them. “The only way it’ll ever actually stop is if you…stop being yourself. Your perfect, magnetic self. And I would never, never ask you to do that.”

He didn’t know what expression he expected to see on Hinata’s face in response to him, but it wasn’t anger, and it certainly wasn’t tears falling to his cheeks. “Fuck off, Tobio,” Hinata bit out. “You don’t get to get out of this by putting me on some pedestal. I’m not asking you to control other people, I’m asking you to talk to me.”

Shit, fuck, this was exactly why Tobio hadn’t wanted to say anything. It was stupid, it was all stupid, he was being stupid. “Sho, I wasn’t—”

“Maybe it won’t keep people from flirting with me, and it won’t keep you from feeling bad about it. But next time I’ll know, and I’ll understand, and I can tell you what you need to hear instead of us having this argument all over again!”

Tobio blinked. Spelled out like that, it made sense. But for some reason, that just made him want to dig his heels in even more. “It’s just…I was just…It wasn’t worth—”

He couldn’t finish. Suddenly there were lips on his, parting hungrily and licking into his mouth, and hands wrapping into his collar to back him into the wall. He fell against it with a thud, but he didn’t care about the dull pain. He was more focused on the teeth biting into his lips, his hands grabbing at Hinata’s hips and flexing against the thick muscle there.

“Your feelings are always,” Hinata hissed between furious kisses, “always worth it.” He pulled away with a tug at Tobio’s bottom lip, and glared at him with a ferocity that was intensified by the tears still trailing down his cheeks. “Stop saying they’re not.”

Tobio cupped one cheek, brushing away the lingering tears with a gentle thumb. “They’re not worth making you cry.” He ducked his head to kiss away the drying tear tracks. Hinata’s damp eyelashes fluttered against Tobio’s skin like butterfly kisses — so light, he almost couldn’t feel them.

“I’m not crying because of your feelings,” Hinata huffed, “I’m crying because you won’t tell me about them. It sucks when you’re upset, and it sucks even more when you don’t think you can talk to me about it.”

“I know,” Tobio whispered against Hinata’s soft, damp cheeks, “I know, I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips back to Hinata’s, kissing him with a hunger that was slow, relished, making arousal spread tendrils through Tobio’s veins as he worked more whimpers and moans from Hinata. He could feel Hinata melting against him with every bite and lick, until he couldn’t keep pushing Tobio against the wall.

Good. His hands dropped back down to Hinata’s hips, giving him enough leverage to push Hinata across the hallway and against the other wall before he could resist. It worked — he felt Hinata gasp against his lips, before his kisses became hungrier and he started arching into him. He was on his toes and clawing at Tobio’s shoulders, like a cat trying to climb up a tree, but it wasn’t until he felt a leg hook around his hips that Tobio realized that was exactly what Hinata was trying to do. He held onto the leg that was already around him, and wrapped his other arm around Hinata’s waist, before pushing him up the wall. Hinata understood immediately, lifting his other leg and wrapping it tight around Tobio’s waist.

“I’m yours, Tobio,” Hinata murmured, his words breaking into a moan from Tobio pressing lips and teeth down his neck. “Nothing, no one, is gonna change that.”

“Mine,” Tobio echoed, “all mine.” He sucked at Hinata’s collarbone, exactly in the spot where his jersey collar would fall. Who knew if the mark would stay covered? The thrill and risk was half the fun.

There was a high whine at his work, before hands cupped his jaw and firmly tilted his head up. A shudder slid through Tobio at the look in Hinata’s eyes — desire, stubbornness, and command all swirled in that warm gaze, reminding Tobio of the hard focus Hinata would get before games. “And you,” Hinata murmured, stroking a hand through Tobio’s hair, “are mine.”

“All yours.” He was rewarded with a slow, deep kiss, and Hinata’s hips rocking down against his. He instinctively rocked back as he slid a hand under Hinata’s shirt to circle a nipple, and soon the hallway was filled with their gasps and moans.

The sound of another dull thud made Tobio pull back just enough to see Hinata lean his head against the wall, baring the smooth, tempting expanse of his neck. Sweat glistened over a pretty flush, and Hinata’s lips were bitten red and slick and swollen as they hung open on soft moans. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Tobio breathed with wonder.

That flush deepened as Hinata met his gaze with heavily-hooded eyes. He scratched through Tobio’s hair again, pulling a quiet, content growl from deep in his chest. “You, too,” Hinata crooned, leaning forward to steal another kiss. “I love you. Don’t hide anything from me again. Let me—mmh, let me take care of you.”

“Okay.” Tobio licked up a droplet of sweat beginning to slide down Hinata’s neck, flicking his tongue off his jaw and landing a light bite there. “Love you so much.”

“Show me.” Tobio met his eyes, and caught sight of the familiar glint of challenge that had sent Tobio tumbling head over heels in love with him all those years ago. “Show me, Tobio.”

He didn’t have to ask twice.

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pearlsephoni · 2 years

Text

Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 7: Summer Vacation

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: 1,732

Summary: Shoyo accompanies Tobio on a brief trip that leads to bittersweet reminisces and hopeful plans.

A/N: C/W discussions of grief. Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

The visit was Tobio’s idea. Both he and Shoyo happened to be in Miyagi that weekend, but Shoyo wasn’t planning on accompanying him. And then he got the phone call.

“Tobio?”

“Hey, um…Miwa-neesan just called me…she’s not going to be able to make it back this weekend.”

“Oh.” Then realization washed over Shoyo. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” There was a pause, and that was enough for Shoyo to anticipate what would come next. “Could you…come with me?”

And so, on a bright Saturday in the middle of July, mere weeks after his birthday, Shoyo found himself sitting in a cemetery with Tobio, eyes tracing the kanji of Kazuyo Kageyama etched into the stone set into the grass.

It wasn’t his first time visiting the grave—he’d come with Tobio on their next trip home after receiving the news that they’d both be playing in the 2020 Olympics—but the circumstances were different. At that time, Tobio had gazed down at his grandfather’s name with a small smile, the melancholy in his eyes unable to overpower the pride glowing from the rest of his features.

This was Shoyo’s first time visiting on Kazuyo’s birthday, and now Tobio was much more somber. His voice was low as he and Shoyo bowed and murmured their greetings, and his movements were almost robotic as he unpacked his offerings from his old high school bag and lined them next to the grave: some soft white flowers, a tealight, a small tin of mints, a chipped sake cup, and an unopened bottle of sake.

He also took out some small scissors and a pack of wipes, and began trimming the blades of grass that had started drooping on the stone. Shoyo understood immediately, and took out a wet wipe to wipe the dirt off of the stone.

It didn’t take long for them to finish cleaning the stone as well as they could with their limited supplies. Once the stone dried from the wipes, Tobio began arranging the offerings on it, laying the flowers at the top, the tealight just under the name, and the mints, sake, and cup along the bottom. Tobio did everything efficiently, as if he were almost working on autopilot, only to freeze after he finished placing the cup. “Tobio?” Shoyo murmured, gently coaxing back out of his head.

“The tealight. I forgot to bring a lighter.” Tobio gripped at his knees, his fingers drumming an almost frantic rhythm the longer he stared at the tiny, unlit candle.

“Oh! I can get one at the conbini. Here, I can throw these away on the way.” Shoyo gathered the dirty wipes in one hand, watching Tobio out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough, as soon as he finished speaking, those drumming fingers stilled, and Tobio’s shoulders relaxed from around his ears. The sight made Shoyo’s heart squeeze, and he gave into the urge to press a kiss into Tobio’s dark hair before pushing himself to his feet.

That seemed to bring Tobio back to himself, and he caught Shoyo’s free hand to press a kiss to it. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Shoyo brushed those jagged bangs off his forehead with a small smile, then began the walk to the nearby conbini.

He wondered if he would ever get used to seeing Tobio become this solemn. He understood why, of course he did, but it still made his heart ache to see him fall so quiet and distant.

Whether or not he got used to it wasn’t important. All that mattered was that he was able to be there for Tobio, and that he continued to do so, the way Tobio had done for him so many times before.

Shoyo held onto that thought and tried to push down his own melancholy as he threw away the wipes in a trash can on the sidewalk and entered the conbini. He didn’t react to the clear judgment on the face of the high schooler who rang up the lighter, by itself, and took his meager coins. He just offered a smile and “thank you!” before he hurried out and back to the cemetery.

Maybe he should’ve grabbed a milk box along with the lighter. It wouldn’t have saved him any teenage judgment, but it would have cheered Tobio up just a bit on the drive back from the cemetery. The thought was making a small smile curve his lips, when the sound of a low voice speaking brought him up short. The voice was unmistakably Tobio’s, and the sound made Shoyo slow his steps and make them as silent as possible as he carefully crept forward until the low tones turned into words.

“You…you probably forgot about this, but you once told me that if I kept playing, and got really good, someone even better would find me. I always thought that was Oikawa-san or Ushijima-san, but I was wrong.” Tobio fiddled with the empty sake cup. “It’s Shoyo. It’s always been Shoyo.”

Shoyo pressed his lips together to hold back his gasp, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from burning with the threat of tears and his blood from singing through his veins. He’d known about Kazuyo’s influence on Tobio ever since he first met Miwa and she told him that their grandfather had been the one to introduce them both to volleyball.

But silly anecdotes from an older sister were one thing. Nothing could have prepared him to hear about such a touching promise from an old man to his starry-eyed grandson. Hearing that Tobio not only remembered it, but thought that Shoyo was the answer to it…he almost couldn’t breathe from how huge his heart felt.

“I wish you could see him play. He works so hard, and it’s paid off, but that just makes him want to play even more and get even better. He loves volleyball so much, and…and he loves me, too. I dunno how I got so lucky. I wish…I wish you could’ve met him. You would’ve loved him. I’m pretty sure Miwa-neesan likes him better as a little brother than me.” The small laugh coloring his words made a smile pull at Shoyo’s lips, at odds with the silent tears beginning to spill onto his cheeks.

There was a pause, and Shoyo nearly closed the distance between them, only to be brought up short by the sound of a deep, fortifying breath. “I…I’m gonna ask him to marry me. I don’t know when or how or where, but I do know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I’ve never wanted something this much, except for going to the Olympics. I knew I wanted to keep going and playing on the national team with him, but now I know I want to face everything else with him, too. I already told Nee-san, and she’s thrilled, of course.” His fingers, usually so quick and clever, were now nervously tugging at the blades of grass framing the stone and ripping them to bits. “I know it’s kinda…stupid, saying all this to some stone, but…I dunno. I wanted you to know. And this is the closest I can get to that.”

“Tobi.”

Tobio jumped, and nearly snapped his neck from how quickly he looked over his shoulder. Shoyo didn’t bother hiding that he was crying beyond wiping away his tears and offering a wavering smile. Countless emotions flickered over Tobio’s features, before embarrassment finally settled. “Shit. How…how much did you hear?”

A wet laugh shook out of Shoyo. “I heard enough.” He finally closed the distance between them and settled back down next to him. It took everything in him to not pull Tobio into a deep kiss in the middle of the cemetery, and settle for holding out the lighter. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Tobio’s ears were a bright red, and his eyes dodged Shoyo’s as he took the lighter. Shoyo didn’t mind. He was content to just watch him light the tealight and pour out a cup of sake, and didn’t say anything else beyond offering his respects.

It wasn’t until they began cleaning up after themselves that he murmured, “I’d say yes.”

“Huh?”

“If you asked me to marry you. I’d say yes.”

Tobio’s eyes widened, and his flush spread from his ears to his cheeks in a sweet pink. “Oh. Good.”

“Good.”

They fell back into a companionable silence on their way to Shoyo’s mother’s car. But as soon as they slid into the front seats, just before Shoyo could start the engine, Tobio said in a low voice, “Hey.”

“Hm?” Shoyo looked over just as fingers wrapped into his collar and tugged him across the center console to bring his lips to Tobio’s in a sweet, if a little clumsy, kiss.

“Thank you,” Tobio breathed when they parted, “for everything.”

Shoyo let out a soft hum, meeting Tobio’s gaze with a fond smile. “Of course. Are you doing okay?”

“Mm. Just…I love you a lot.”

That pulled a startled laugh from Shoyo. “Me too, Tobi! I love you so much.”

Tobio stared at him for a moment, before saying in an impossibly soft, vulnerable voice, “And…I meant everything I said. I dunno how much you heard, but whatever it was, it was true. All of it.”

“Even the part of me being ‘someone even better’?” Shoyo had meant for the question to be a little teasing, but the pure love shining from those dark eyes made his smile falter.

“Yeah. Especially that.”

Silence fell over the car as Shoyo gazed back, his hand coming up to cup Tobio’s cheek and trace the soft curve. “You’re mine, Tobi,” he eventually whispered, “you always have been.”

“I know.” Tobio leaned their foreheads together and sucked in a deep breath. “...Let’s go home, Sho.”

With another hum and another kiss, Shoyo pulled away and started the car. And as he drove, he couldn’t stop musing over that word. Home. With all his time moving and building connections across the world, it became impossible to tie the word to any single place.

But maybe, just maybe, home wasn’t a place at all. When he looked over at Tobio and smiled at the sight of him already nodding off, Shoyo realized something with a certainty he hadn’t felt since he first laid eyes on the Little Giant and set his heart on playing volleyball.

As long as Tobio was by his side…he was already home.

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pearlsephoni · 2 years

Text

Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 3: Mutual Pining | Long-Distance

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: 1,429

Summary: Tobio's impending departure for Rome brings old fears and tentative hopes to the surface for the couple.

A/N: Author’s notes can be read on AO3.

“Do you have to go?”

Tobio’s eyes slowly blinked open, the Tokyo lights that snuck in through the curtains glittering like stars in the dark blue depths. “…What?”

“Do you have to go?” Shoyo repeated, a little softer this time. He burrowed into his pillow, his bare legs shifting under the blankets to brush against Tobio’s. “What if you just…didn’t go to Italy?”

“You of all people don’t get to ask me that, dumbass.” The words would’ve been scolding, if it weren’t for how quiet Tobio’s voice was and how somber his eyes looked. “You can’t be the only one to have a big adventure overseas.”

Despite the sad embarrassment creeping through him, a smile tugged at Shoyo’s lips. “What if I go back to Brazil?”

“Then I’ll just stay overseas for another year.” Tobio tugged gently at a ginger lock. “I’m not gonna let you beat me.”

“I knowwww,” Shoyo whined, “but…but it feels like I just got you back. And now you’re leaving, and we’ll be apart again.”

“So? Are you saying I just had to move abroad for you to leave me alone?”

Indignation burned away Shoyo’s sadness. “No! Why? Are you gonna break up with me as revenge?”

“No, stupid! I’m gonna call and message you so much, it’ll be like I never even left.”

“Good! I’ll do all that even more than you!”

“Good.” Shoyo faltered at the fond smile playing at the corners of those pretty lips. “You’re not losing me, Sho.”

Shoyo’s breath caught. His eyes stung with the threat of tears and his throat ached, but that didn’t keep him from smiling as he brushed a kiss to Tobio’s lips. “I know. I love you,” he murmured. “I don’t care where you are, I’ll still love you.”

“Me, too,” Tobio breathed, his arm settling warm over Shoyo’s waist to pull him close. “I…I’m really going to miss you.”

They still had a few weeks. Tobio hadn’t even started packing just yet. But desperation still burned in Shoyo’s chest, making him press as much of his naked body to Tobio’s as he could, tangling their legs together beneath the sheets as their lips parted hungrily against each other.

He loved Tobio so much, he ached with it. He’d thought a year back in Japan would make up for their lost time and help Shoyo feel a little less desperate for Tobio, but it’d done the opposite. He couldn’t imagine no longer being a train ride away from him, no longer being able to see consecutive days off on their schedules and knowing they’d spend them together.

He didn’t want to imagine it. So he just focused on holding Tobio tight and kissing him deep, the warmth of his mouth helping chase away the ache of dread settling in his chest.

But as they kissed, he noticed a different type of warmth on Tobio’s cheeks. A wet warmth. “Tobi?”

“Don’t,” he grumbled, “don’t stop.”

“Tobi, you’re crying.”

“No, I’m not.”

Shoyo tried to pull away, but there were fingers sinking into his hair and holding his lips to Tobio’s, leaving him helpless to anything but the teeth nipping at his lip. “Mmh, Tobio, wait—”

“No.”

“Tobio!” He pressed his hands against Tobio’s chest and pushed him away, finally giving himself a good look at his lover’s face.

Sure enough, there were tears falling from those dark eyes, trailing down those fair cheeks, and soaking into the pillow. “Hey,” Shoyo cooed, brushing the tears away as well as he could, “I thought you said everything would be okay.”

“I did,” Tobio grumbled. His voice was tight in a way that kept him from sounding as gruff as usual. “I just…it’s gonna be hard.”

“Yeah. It will be.” Shoyo pressed a chaste kiss to Tobio’s lips. “But we’ve never done things the easy way.”

“No. We haven’t.”

It was so rare to see such naked love and fondness in that blue gaze. Seeing it now made Shoyo feel like he couldn’t breathe from how big his heart was. “I really, really love you.”

“I know. Me, too.” There was the barest note of laughter in Tobio’s quiet words. “You keep repeating that.”

Shoyo frowned a little petulantly. “Because I feel so much of it! It’s like…if I don’t say it, it’ll just fill me up until my heart goes baam, y’know?”

“No.” Oh, that was definitely laughter. “That doesn’t make any sense, dumbass.” He’d barely stopped speaking before he was flinching away from Shoyo’s teeth on his chin with a gasped, “Ow, the hell?”

“You’re such a jerk, Tobi,” Shoyo sniffed. “Maybe that’s why I love you more than you love me.”

His words were met with silence, a silence that was broken by Tobio suddenly rolling over and pinning Shoyo down in a burst of motion that nearly sent their blankets flying off the bed. “What the hell?” Shoyo practically shrieked.

“Take that back.”

“What?”

“I love you way more than you love me,” Tobio growled, his hands tightening around Shoyo’s wrists as he pressed them into the bed. “You’re the one who broke up with me to run off to Brazil.”

“That was for both of us to grow!” Shoyo squirmed, but he could barely budge under Tobio’s tight hold and the weight of his body slowly lowering onto him. “I went across the world and still loved you! Doesn’t that count?”

“I went to the Olympics and still loved you.”

“You went to the Olympics and didn’t come see me.”

Tobio froze. Whenever Shoyo had mentioned that before, it had always been in jest. But now, as he watched Tobio’s eyes flicker over his face, he knew he could see the real hurt lining his own gaze. “...No, I didn’t,” Tobio finally murmured, “because it would’ve hurt too much. The break-up was still…it was too fresh.”

“I know.” The weight on Shoyo wasn’t quite enough to keep him from craning his neck up and brushing their noses together. He didn’t need to apologize for the break-up. They’d already talked through everything, and he knew Tobio had always understood why they’d needed it. But guilt still prickled through Shoyo when he thought about the pain he’d put Tobio through, and his own heart still gave a dull ache when he remembered those years without Tobio. “I think…that’s why I’m so scared.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just…the last time we were across the world from each other, we were broken up. I’m…I’m scared that something will happen to make us break up again when you go to Italy. I dunno what, and I know it’s stupid, but…”

“Are you going to break up with me again?”

Shoyo blinked. “No! Of course not!”

“Then we’re not going to break up, dumbass.” He bent down and brushed their lips together, before mumbling, “I love you too much to let you go.”

“But you’re still leaving.”

“Yeah. Because I love you too much to be anything but your greatest rival.”

That finally brought a smile back to Shoyo’s lips. “My someone better.”

Tobio hummed as he pressed soft kisses along Shoyo’s jaw. “I’ll still come home when I can. And you can come visit me.”

“And I’m gonna call and text you soooooo much in between! I’m gonna be super annoying!”

“You already are.”

Shoyo let out a scandalized gasp and bucked his hips up in a weak attempt to knock Tobio off of him. “Asshole! Maybe I won’t call you at all, how about that?”

“I’ll just call you instead.”

“Then I won’t answer.”

“Then I’ll tell Natsu you’re ignoring me.”

“Then I’ll tell Miwa-neesan how mean you are to me!”

“She already knows.”

“Yeah, and she doesn’t like it!”

Tobio pulled away and raised an eyebrow. “So? You do.”

A rush of warmth washed over Shoyo’s cheeks, even as he frowned. “...Shut up and kiss me.”

Tobio obeyed, though not without a smirk that Shoyo was determined to kiss away. He was annoyed and tired and still felt anxiety over their impending separation sparking through him. But most importantly, he felt love, so much love that he really did feel like his heart might burst.

And where before, as a young, dumb 18-year-old, the thought of that love lingering across the distance had filled him with dread, it now filled him with hope. It had endured when it was the last thing Shoyo had wanted. Now he wanted nothing more.

Besides, they were the freak duo, devoted to each other and volleyball since Shoyo’s first match. The world would never keep them apart for long.

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