#lapse in depression

[2lurslinger2000]

Ok goodnight

#solarballs #solarballs mercury #mercury solarballs #solarballs earth #earth solarballs #earth but if all that therapy mercury gave him went to shit #depressed earth arc #mercury is disappointed #ok bye im tired #earth made a continous and severe lapse of his judgement #planets

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Happy STS Elli!

What inspires you to write? Are there things that you know that you can get inspiration from or does it just come randomly?

Happy STS!

For me, inspiration doesn't mean "to write".

There are, and always have been, a lot of stories floating around in my mind - ideas, scenes, vibes, outlines. I get inspiration from literally everywhere, from talking to my friends, and video games, and scrolling past images or prompts, and reading books, and spending too much time on reddit, and…

Many remain daydreams, or character backstories, eventually lost to time.

Now for actually being able to sit my ass down and get words on the page? I don't know. It comes and goes as it pleases. Having a beehive where a brain should be does NOT help, let me tell you that.

I just. Can't focus on shit lately. Can barely make it through a chapter when reading. Every day is just suddenly over, and I got nothing done, and I am so tired. I have a completely outlined short thing I have been trying to write since Nov, and it's like pulling teeth.

I could do with several months off work while everyone leaves me the fuck alone. How would that be.

#salad-ask #aria-benedetto #sts ask #I cried new year's because after having 1 (one) day of my vaction actually completely to myself #Which was after I already didn't get any quiet time on my LAST three attempts at taking time off because someone was sick at home #And spending most of all that time just working (in my time off) and cleaning the depression piles #My mom berated me for instantly refusing to come over for some 'if I die you need to know where stuff is' talk #(note: there's no reason to think she might anytime soon and she was talking about like... a cd collection) #'You always have something!!!' #I don't know anymore how to get people to understand how fucking exhausted I am. #I'm about to let the stupid paint course voucher from work lapse because in a year I didn't find a motive I like and the energy to even #consider wasting 3 hours of my life after work to produce some physical object I have no room for while having to run to get there on time #Not to mention people!! A room full of people!! #I've just become sooo sensitive to noise lately I can't even stand to be in the kitchen when the fridge hums #And you're always always always the bad guy if you close the door in someone's face because they're whistling or watching tv or calling #It's cool :) Sorry I was being unsocial :) Lemme just quickly slam my head against a wall until I pass out :) #So uh anyway happy STS writing has been going well

[bklynmusicnerd]

It felt more like the show was more focused on Cam and Joss consoling each other today while Trina’s scenes were sprinkled in but was disconnected.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. I think there was clearly an effort in the Cam scenes to rebuild his friendship with Joss in the aftermath of her cheating on him. I actually don't mind that because I definitely didn't want Cam to return from everything still bitter over Joss.

I mean, she's the one who fumbled and is stuck with a mob-themed sex robot. But I don't see why they couldn't do that while also honoring Trina, Cam and Joss' collective history as a friend group? I found it completely unbelievable that Cam and Joss wouldn't be concerned that Trina couldn't even make it to the reception or that she's clearly spiraling with her dropping the semester plans.

This should have been a friend group repairing itself over the "loss" of one of their own. Splitting them up like that and not having Joss and Cam have any kind of discussion over Trina's impact on Spencer or their concern over her budding depression, is just not true to any of those characters or that friend group's history.

Trina attempting to exclude herself and "erase herself from the narrative" because she blames herself for Spencer's death makes sense. Joss and Cam just allowing her to do that and not wanting to follow her and make sure she's okay, does not.

#general hospital #trina robinson #spencer cassadine #josslyn jacks #cameron webber #they should be using this arc to have ppl come together and reestablish lapsed dynamics and establish new ones #so far...none of that is happening #at least cam reminded everyone that he's the heart of the group #AM did her thing and TA is building that depression arc for Trina so beautifully #in a lot of ways the actors are doing more storytelling than the writers rn

[beautifulheartandspirit]

My days lately

#tw sui ideation #tw depressing thoughts #time lapse #athens #hi #ελληνικο ποστ #early twenties #depression

[nakedmonkey]

It's bleak out there 🥲

#literally sticking to the discord and preferred tags only #just need some peace so i can like you know not lapse into a depressive episode

[lux-scriptum]

The universe called on me to open tumblr at this exact time, anyway, please inform us of how Elliot acts when he’s annoyed with someone

oh my god, he's so annoying. he's such a huffy little brat. i love him. i suppose it DOES depend on what is annoying him. if its someone he's close to and its a "small" annoyance, you get the huffs and the foot stamp and the whining tone that makes anyone without patience think about wringing his skinny neck. If it's someone he's close to and it's a "large" annoyance, you get cutting glares, a brief silent treatment while he processes, and then he talks to you about it. depending on how the annoyance gets demoted you can work your way down to huffs or even an actual useful conversation! Now. A stranger gets Elliot's Professional Persona. Which means he's cool, sometimes actually cold, while he gets you out of his life fast as possible. He's too busy being the worlds best cook and looking fabulous to keep negativity in his life longer than necessary.

#elliot #ur my hero c #;-; my brain is fried from the anti depressant withdrawals still #so much better than yesterday buuuuuut im still struggling with attention spans #elliot takes advantage of these lapses #as a haver of the adhd himself he knows my weaknesses and he wanted attention

[deanstits]

I see new destiel posts, I like them immediately, they go in the queue and are posted 4 months later. I promise I'm reblogging as well as liking, I swear it !!!!

#im time lapsing the engagment. im revivng your post from today four months from now. four months ago i revived your post today. etc #dont mind me just doing time stuff with my big full queue 🥵 #when i reach 500 posts we're going 5 posts a day that's still a three month buffer before the queue runs out #the buffer is in case of a depressive episode where looking at tumblr is too overwhelming #destiel blog curation is serious and i take it seriously. as a joke.

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Catholic reverts really are some of the most dense people around because they genuinely and truly seem incapable of comprehending that people who leave the Church can have wildly different experiences from each other and be fully happy and content with the decision to never return. Their patronizing tendency to speak for and on the behalf of folks who left the Church for good and how their stories are weaponized agaianst lapsed Catholics and apostates also does them no favours whatsoever. It seems so difficult for them to see beyond the scope of their own narrow field of experience.

#ex catholic #deconversion #excatholic #sorry i saw some.dumbass revert be like UwU i was sad and depressed because inrejected god #like sweetie thats on you don't you fucking dare try to speak for me and other ex catholics #catholic reverts man smh #lapsed catholic

[paperdemon-arpg]

Watch "Miracle Morning Routine - Digital Art TIME LAPSE" on YouTube

I mentioned in previous posts I've been going through treatment for postpartum depression. I've rebooted my morning routine to help me recover. Thought I'd share this Incase it's helpful to anyone out there struggling with mental illness.

Miracle morning is a 1 hour routine where you do 10 minutes each of these 6 things.

S - Silence

A - Affirmations

V - Visualizations

E - Exercise

R - Reading

S - Scribing

But my ADHD brain can't handle all the things so I just try to do two or three in the morning. I see SAVERS as a menu of things to choose from. Watch the video if you want to know more about how I adapt miracle morning to be more ADHD friendly.

~BogusRed

#adhd #miraclemorning #postpartum depression #paperdemon #art motivation #art time lapse #speedpaint #Youtube

[terezillustrations]

In my story, “The Disorganized Alphabet”, I’m exploring found family, identity, and recovery. Since yesterday was Valentine’s Day, I felt inspired to make the last illustration. Raymond has depression, and Mackenzie has psychosis. They’ve both got a lot of baggage but they’re not in it to fix each other. A healthy relationship acknowledges that the world will throw things at you, but you’ll still do your best to communicate and support each other. How do you show love in spite of struggle?

#gay art #black artist #disabled artist #comic art #digital sketch #queer art #speed drawing #art process #time lapse #mentally ill person creating mentally ill characters #mental health #mental illness #actually mentally ill #depression #psychosis #interracial couple #soft aesthetic #soft moments

[mirandemia]

.

#as much as i love doing commissions ive noticed that if i do too many of them for a period of time it weighs down on my creativiry #i always find myself lapsing into art block in yhe middle of it #and i know thats a sign that im trying to improve my art but its client art that i am so critical of myself with #and idk i feel myself slipping into that depression again #idk could be other factors too im just tired as usual

[feluka]

i'll say it again. every SWANA girlie should be entitled to one free patricide per lifetime no charges no jail time no nothing

#devastating news today. #i learned that 1- my dad wanted to start a bet on me dropping out of uni before the end of the year. #he was serious too. thankfully my mom told him to shut the fuck up :)that's exactly what i need while struggling with my studies thanks dad #2- he's now spreading lies about me to my mom to make me look bad #he told her i lie when i say I'm going to sleep and instead i keep the lights on and stay up all night #and that he sees me frolicking around playing and having fun while claiming to be asleep #my mom called him out on being a shitty liar because when i can't sleep i still keep the lights off because i fucking hate the lights #and also she comes to check up on me at night and sees that i am asleep so she told him he's a liar #and now 3- he's claiming my whole mental health lapse thing was me faking depression to get away with having poor grades #which is funny because he took me to the psych hospital himself and told our entire extended family that I've gone crazy. #funny how he changes his story all the fucking time! #and his proof? he 'sees me chatting with people and laughing all the time so i can't be that depressed' #what people you fucking dickhead. do you know how debilitating lonely i am. do you have any idea how much it kills me. #and when my mom tried to stand up for me and say that i don't talk to people #his reasoning was that i'm being secretive about it because i must be talking to boys 😐😐😐😐 #i truly dont understand him. like my guy YOU put me in a girls school and follow me outside everyday to make sure i take the girls' train. #like what boys have i conjured out of thin fucking air. literally what the FUCK are you on about. #also now he's using that as an excuse to 'keep an eye on me' and look in my stuff and follow me around #i know he opens my phone because that absolute idiot accidentally took a photo of himself with it #and i know he follows me this isn't news to me. i just. idk. i thought we were on better terms these days???? #like i truly thought we were being friendly and cool with each other lately??? #then he explodes out on nowhere with this stuff and goes on and on about how much of his money is wasted on me!!!!! #i'm just so sad all the time and i'm truly trying to hold on and not end everything and i dont need him to do this to me right now #i'm so so sad and tired! really i don't see an end to this! #one day i'll walk into the ocean and have him fish my corpse out of the water

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

Maybe I would play any of the sonic games if they had Carson in them but they don’t so….what do they expect lol. If you want me to play a game you have to put Carson in or I don’t care!!! God when will they fucking LEARN

#btw idk if I’ll be more normal about Carson soon ish coz they upped my meds to highest dose in hopes it might regulate my irrational thought #thoughts* and stuff etc etc so…we will see lol #not BECAUSE of Carson lol but just like everything in general #also I gotta take another test coz they’re like we can’t confirm a disorder but you definitely have autistic traits so that might be #interesting! coz I’ve been wondering for years and I learned that others have too #and bad emotional regulation or something like that? #plus anxiety and depression obvs. but im not complaining abt this coz im getting further to knowing answers of- #-what is wrong with me. which is what I’ve been craving since forever so it’s a huge step forward! #i can’t believe I am where I am now compared to just a year or so ago like it’s crazy #i had a lapse yesterday and was suicidal which was bad but I have an amazing supportive team and im so lucky to have them and they helped #-me a lot and I’m so glad I’ve got the recourse’s I do because if I didn’t im scared to think what I’d be like #so 🙏 #sorry random life update ramblings #but im good today yay

[anoseforrottenapples]

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowds ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ open spaces ⋆ change ⋆ war ⋆ failure ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ forest ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ loss ⋆ dying ⋆ death ⋆ love ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ lack of noise ⋆ forgetting ⋆ insects ⋆ dogs ⋆ snakes ⋆ illness ⋆ doctors ⋆ thunder storms ⋆ being watched ⋆ being vulnerable ⋆ needles or pointed objects ⋆ mirrors ⋆ isolation

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowds ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ open spaces ⋆ change ⋆ war ⋆ failure ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ forest ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ loss ⋆ dying ⋆ death ⋆ love ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ lack of noise ⋆ forgetting ⋆ insects ⋆ dogs ⋆ snakes ⋆ illness ⋆ doctors ⋆ thunder storms ⋆ being watched ⋆ being vulnerable ⋆ needles or pointed objects ⋆ mirrors ⋆ isolation

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowds ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ open spaces ⋆ change ⋆ war ⋆ failure ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ forest ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ loss ⋆ dying ⋆ death ⋆ love ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ lack of noise ⋆ forgetting ⋆ insects ⋆ dogs ⋆ snakes ⋆ illness ⋆ doctors ⋆ thunder storms ⋆ being watched ⋆ being vulnerable ⋆  needles or pointed objects ⋆ mirrors ⋆ isolation

Tagged by @torytendencies​

#Time To Refresh the Pot (OOC) #This was an interesting bit #because Jane's outgrown a lot of the fears on this list #She's in her 70s--she's already confronted and made peace with most of them #Troy's fears really revolve around his interpretation of what it means to be a 'man' #and are heavily tied into how his father left the family and his mother emotionally abandoned him as she lapsed into chronic depression #and Mary's fears are heavily heavily tangled in with her relationship with Abraham #and the state of her collapsing marriage #along with the other stresses brought on by the war

[atticchild]

I hung some paintings

#and cleaned the kitchen #a lapse in depression

[mourningmaybells]

Me: It’s Lent and it’s Ash Wednesday tomorrow but I feel like I’ve been abstaining from everything my whole life and I’m constantly hungry what difference does it make

Devil on my shoulder: You could always jerk off

Inland Empire from the hit game Disco Elysium on the other side because my texture autism is triggered by feathers: The furnace has long been cold, despite itself. You're too sad to jerk off. This is not the first time it has happened either.

#Anyways I only remembered because of tags someone left off. I eat pork regularly since I was born and my family isn’t religious at home #Lapsed Catholic except when I’m depressed