#lbr i am always crying

[mihrsuri]

I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.

#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would #genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse) #i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top #of a jewish trauma spike #and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm #does not look great #i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words #(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful) #(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…) #(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it) #(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression) #(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else #abuse cw #i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered #this will disappear probably #UGH #(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to) #(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in) #(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need) #(just a bit of grace apologies) #(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that) #(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway) #a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing #(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr) #it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead #and it’s like I can fake it so well #(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people) #to run through the steps of not being alone #i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people #to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person

[sarastuss]

me vc : i would never cry to a song, i am an adult woman - me, whenever flow, dragonsong or answers is playing :

#❛ ☼ ― ooc. / i do not have a fancy tag for this. #it always attacks me personally #( and lbr i am a sensitive girl of course i cry to almost every sad song )

[balladccr]

friendly reminder that i love my gf @howthesleeplesswander and all the ways she rips my heart out and crushes it under her foot ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡ what a dish, what a doll ! ♡

#||🗲 ‹ooc› #i don't post here often but when i do it's to announce how incredible my girl is and how her replies always kill me c: #i will not be ok for the rest of the day or mAYBE the rest of my life who knows #i mean lbr am i ever okay? no prolly not #but the POINT IS-- if you aren't following casi you NEED TO BE #her writing is forever an inspiration to me and never fails to make me feel every single emotion under the sun #while also making scara feel all the emotions he wishes he didn't #me just sneaking in a promo of this amazing gal as i cry into my carpet

[bylertruther]

yes i'm rereading one of the best will-centric fics of all time aka i didn't know there were wizards in california for the fiftieth time and crying like a baby at this part no i am not capable of being normal about it thank u !!!!!!!

#with all due respect which is none i will never in my LIFE accept 'i hate who i am' that is not MY will byers!!!!! #MY will byers fought and ran and hid and stayed alive in the upside down he never gave up hope he continued to fight each and every day of #his increasingly miserable life he REFUSED to be anyone else even when people bullied him for it even when his own father abused him for it #he was taken and ransacked and pillaged and he continued to build himself back up he REFUSED to break he REFUSED to fade away #william byers continues to love his art and love his 'nerdy' interests he continues to dress how he wants #he continues to be sensitive he continues to love what he loves he refuses to change!!!!! #he is strong!!!! he gets kidnapped and possessed by an eldritch entity and stands right back up!!!! #he doesn't turn over!!!! that's my william byers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my william byers who is so brave that despite everything in the world telling him not to he follows his heart and confesses his love to his #best friend and tells him everything that he's always felt and masks it as his sister's because he thinks that would make it more #meaningful to him and he doesn't care if it breaks his own heart to tiny little bits he does it anyway because he loves mike so much #because he is who he is and he cannot change that and he will never change that!!!!!!! #THAT'S MY WILLIAM BYERS !!!!!! #also anyone else utterly heartbroken tht richie n will don't end up together in this one . BDHJFBDJH #their ships are so good but like ........ /richie/. literally and truly and actually will's soulmate in this fic lbr. #mike will have to grovel n beg n plead n give me five million dollars before i even THINK abt letting him near my boy 🙄🤨😤 #n the author said there would be more will/eddie in part two so like . i am heavy breathing i am shaking i am crying i am ASCENDING #mine

[ugh-yoongi]

so sorry it took me a few days to get this together for you, but i hope you enjoy some of these!

most of these works contain mature themes/content. please heed tags and do not engage with any explicit work if you are a minor!

i'm sure there are a bunch i've forgotten, so please feel free to reblog and share your own work and your faves!

also, please note: there are a lot of fics on these lists that are posted to ao3. it has recently come out that a volunteer was removed from their position for being pro-palestine (you can find the twt thread here). i am in the process of looking for a better alternative, but until then, it is unfortunately probably the best way to share these stories. while i personally won't be posting to or reading on ao3 for the time being, how you choose to engage going forward is completely up to you! i just wanted to make sure i was being transparent.

hobi x reader

guarded & kanalia by @xjoonchildx — basically anything by ana lbr

just practice & we float by @anotherbtswriter

gone wild by @johobi

liar, liar by @eoieopda

party on you by @here2bbtstrash

do i wanna know? by @yoongiphoria

started with a spark, now we're on fire by @the-boy-meets-evil

renegade by @junghelioseok

midnight confessions by @snackhobi

cry to my room by @kithtaehyung

matters of the heart by @hobidreams

plant boy by @gukyi

sunlit affair by @ubemango

the art of war by @wwilloww

not today, satan by @gimmethatagustd

the wood by @sailoryooons

virtuoso by @hamsterclaw

even though by @moni-logues

anything by @dilfhoseokie

upbeat

for the first time (what's past is past)

same old mistakes

tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)

as always, mxm fics (aka me being embarrassing sope trash) under the cut!

member x member

little miracles by @here2bbtstrash (jihope)

you're not mine, but you're the best (jihope) ⭐

i only always think (jihope)

you made me dream when i couldn't sleep (jihope)

walk the walk (jihope)

polaroid (jihope)

a midnight clear (jihope) ⭐

got an offer you might refuse (jihope feat. jin)

i don't want it at all (jihope feat. jin)

please be my finale (sope) ⭐

i've been calling your name (in this whole universe) (sope)

nothing without sunlight (sope)

same damn hunger (sope) ⭐

hot fuss (sope)

i'd love it if we made it (sope) ⭐

rub your feelings down my spine (sope)

kiss me hard before you go (sope) ⭐

how easy this should be (sope)

all my days (i'll know your face) (sope)

those ocean eyes (sope)

leave you drowning (until you reach for my hand) (sope)

reputation (sope)

snapshots from the breakdown (sope) ⭐

the best is yet to come (sope)

my hands down your pants (no homo) (sope)

first times and stuff & an experiment in threesomes (sope feat. jk)

at least i got you in my head (hopekook)

10/10, would do again (hopekook)

bone + tissue (hopekook)

telepathy (rapline)

delta (rapline)

i get those goosebumps every time (rapline)

i'm on fire (rapline)

when the moon rises (namseok)

how i'm imagining you (namseok)

in your atmosphere (namseok)

why don't you figure (my heart) out (namseok)

the universe needs more you (namseok)

bated breath (2seok)

smile like you mean it (2seok)

gingerbread (2seok)

cowboys love horses (2seok)

natural gnosis and the chaos therein (2seok) ⭐

telepathy for virgins (2seok)

⭐ = personal mxm favorite. please read any of these and return to scream over them with me.

#hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #hobi x reader #jhope fanfic #hoseok fanfic #jhope smut #hoseok smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #fic rec

[zorosprincess]

Betrayal

PAIRING - Miya Osamu x Reader WC - 1.4K GENRE - Light Angst not really Crack Fic lbr CW - mentions of cheating

"I'm sorry."

It was a whisper, a pathetic sentiment at the moment.

"Osamu, please, I'm sorry."

There was nothing else you could say. You knew that. You couldn't even look at his face. You looked anywhere you could besides him. Your fingers pulled lightly at a loose thread on the sleeve of your sleep shirt, the loose shirt that belonged to the man you currently couldn't look in the eye.

"S'that all ya have t'say?" The betrayed tone bled through Osamu's voice as he leaned against the wall across from you.

You were suddenly extremely aware of how uncomfortable your couch was in this moment. You averted your eyes again, focusing on the coffee table in front of you now. It was a pretty glass top one that Osamu and you had picked out together your first month in your little apartment together.

You almost smiled as you remembered how happy you and Osamu had been to decorate your apartment together. You didn't because you remembered that you were about to be in one of the biggest fights you'd ever been in with each other.

And it was your fault.

"What else am I supposed to say 'Samu?" There was nothing you could say.

"I didn't mean to?" You did mean to.

"I didn't know what I was doing?" You knew exactly what you were doing and how much it would hurt him if he found out.

"I didn't do it?" You both knew that wasn't true. You had been caught red-handed. He had walked into the room in the middle of it.

You sighed and hung your head again. Your eyes trained on the decorative rug under your feet. You slowly traced the design with your toe as you waited for him to respond.

"How could ya do that t'me?" His voice was soft and if you didn't know better you'd say he was about to cry. But you knew better and you knew that if Osamu was arguing with you and was going to cry, he'd wait until you weren't there. Thinking that crying would only make you feel worse. You could say that this time, you might deserve to feel worse than you already were. But he was always thinking about you. Even now. "I thought ya loved me y/n."

Your head shot up then, eyes connecting with his. His eyes were filled with genuine hurt and you could feel your heartstrings slowly snapping. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles tensed and if the situation was different, you would have been simply admiring how absolutely attractive he was and how lucky you were to have him around. Instead- "I do love you!" You shouted, unintentionally being louder than you meant. You quieted yourself. He didn't deserve to be yelled at. "I love you so much Osamu."

He scoffed a little bit, turning his head to look away from you. "Ya love me so much." He drew out the 'so' and you flinched a little bit at the sarcasm in his voice. Tone biting into you. "That's why ya went and betrayed me like this!" His arm flung out and pointed towards the evidence of your betrayal as he yelled. You bit your lip, shame filling you. "If ya loved me ya wouldn'ta done it!"

"I'm sorry 'Samu!" You shouted back, losing your calm composure. "I don't know what I was thinking!" You sniffed a bit and gestured randomly as you continued. "You just weren't around! And it had been so long!" You threw your head back and groaned lightly, shifting your volume back down. "I don't know, I just couldn't wait anymore. I'm sorry 'Samu."

You lifted your eyes back to meet his as he looked at you incredulously. "Are ya kiddin' me!?" He was pissed now and you almost regretted your outburst. Almost. "Ya couldn't wait!? That's yer reason fer betrayin' my trust!" He laughed then, not a happy one that filled you with joy, not like the usual way he did. A bark of a laugh, one filled with irritation and sarcasm. "This is the last straw y/n! We're done!"

Your jaw dropped then. Amazed at the words that had just come out of the mouth of the man you swore you loved more than anything. "You're joking." He shook his head and crossed his arms again, looking away from you. You groaned in irritation. "You're being dramatic Osamu!" You were shouting without regret now. "It's not that big of a deal!"

"Dramatic!?" He looked back at you, jaw dropped. "Ya cheated on me!"

You rolled your eyes then, the last bits of your apologies draining. "I did not cheat on you!" You defended yourself to him.

"Ya betrayed me!" He shouted back, flinging his arms around to emphasize his point.

You ran your hands over your face in exasperation. "Now you're just actin' like 'Tsumu." You dug at him and watched as his jaw dropped at you. If he wasn't betrayed before, he surely was now.

"How dare-"

You cut him off. "It was just food, 'Samu! I'm sorry!" You went to stand from your position on the couch finally, taking a step towards him.

He stopped leaning against the wall in order to step away from you. That hurt. "Just food! I wake up 'spectin' to see my beautiful girl cuddled with me and 'stead find ya out here eatin' without me!"

"I tried to wait for you!" You raised your voice again. "You were the one not waking up! I thought I could get away with it before you woke up!"

"Ya thought ya could get away with it!?" You cringed as he mimicked back your choice of words, a bad choice. He pointed back to the evidence of your betrayal - an empty take out bag that you had door dashed to your apartment with the instructions to not knock and only text so that you wouldn't risk waking Osamu. "Didn't even think to get me somethin'!?"

"I'm sorry! Let me make it up to you please." You lowered your voice and he let you step closer. "I'll buy you whatever food you want from wherever you choose for the rest of the day." You could see his body visibly relax a little as he started to calm down.

You looked up at him and tapped on his collarbone lightly, trying to get him to look down at you and stop looking over your head to avoid you and your remorseful stare. "Forgive me baby?" He grumbled as you leaned up on your toes and pressed a kiss to the base of his throat, your usual indicator that you wanted him to lean down for a real kiss.

"Three days." He bartered with you, finally looking down and catching your gaze.

You hummed in thought before shaking your head. "Two. Take it or leave it."

"Fine." He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer at last. "You drive me crazy." He mumbled the half-hearted insult and pressed a soft kiss against your lips before releasing you.

Now that you two were done arguing, you could take a moment to appreciate the way he looked as he stepped back. Shirtless (stolen by your form) with his sweats hanging low on his hips, hair still messy from sleep. You smiled as you caught his eyes linger on your bare thighs, right where his shirt ended. He only rolled his eyes and turned away when he realized that he'd been caught.

"So, are we okay now?" You sing-songed as he started to walk back to your bedroom.

"You're still y/n for the next two hours." He threw back over his shoulder. "You don't get to be called Angel yet."

It was your turn to have your jaw drop in shock. "You never deny me of cute nicknames! You can't do that!" You scrambled to follow after him, not being able to see the smirk creeping onto his lips at your reaction.

"Ya compared me t'Tsumu." He wasn't honestly mad about it anymore, but he would be lying if he said he didn't find it cute to watch you pout at not being called by your usual nickname. He'd ;et you off the hook later, and make up for it at length.

"I said I was sorry!"

a/n a rewrite of my first ever fic <33 i still love her

#osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #miya x reader #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #osamu fanfiction #miya osamu fanfiction #osamu miya fanfiction #𓇻 Osamu’s Gravity #𓇻 Void Screams Back

[shutuprichie]

Also, if I see one more “I’m straight. Do I get an article??” comment on another post about Noah’s coming out, I’m going to commit a crime.

Like this 18 year old teenager comes out on TIKTOK of all places(true Noah fashion lbr) knowing how many people are going to see it. He made this coming out his own and we are all HERE for it.

But it’s not just that. He just came out during a time when congress has been trying to overturn gay marriage, people. This famous actor chose to be brave in a time when being brave is hard. He stated that he has been in the closet and scared. He did this for HIMSELF. He didn’t do this so he could trend or have articles written about him. It is not his fault that people have chosen to spread the news. And it’s not his fault some people see coming out publicly as a trend.

Noah Schnapp did this because he felt comfortable enough with his friends and family and chose when and how he wanted to and I am so fucking HAPPY he had that choice.

In regards to those who are making jokes about how they’re straight and they want to have articles written about them or saying no one cares, EVERY SINGLE DAY is straight pride day. Get the fuck over yourselves.

Will Byers is a gay closeted kid in the 80’s who is scared and not accepted by most in his small minded town.

Noah Schnapp is a gay and out kid in the year 2023 who was scared and is STILL not accepted by most in this small minded world.

It makes me want to cry knowing Noah not only got to see the outpouring of love for Will as the speculation and confirmation of Will being gay came to light but he also had to see people being ugly and hateful about the character knowing he, in some form and fashion, was putting genuine emotion into this character.

Things may be different, but some things are also the same. And I think now more than ever is when Noah needs our love and support.

Noah Schnapp, you will ALWAYS be loved and supported.

#noah schnapp #stranger things #noah schnapp you will always be famous #will byers #we love you #we support you #byler #byeler

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Spoiling You With All My Might -- Comte Collection Story Translation

I've been meaning to post this one for a while, as it's honestly in my top ten Comte events of all time. For this Collection story event, it was basically all the suitors comforting MC when she's stressed/tired/overworked. And lbr, who doesn't need that in their life?

Enjoy everyone, and just a reminder that I'm no professional--I just translate these for my own enjoyment. Without further ado:

In the early afternoon, when the hands on the clock are pointing to 3pm-- I was alone drinking tea in a quiet kitchen. (I’ve been busy lately…I think I’m a little burnt out.) My cup of tea was already empty, but somehow I didn’t have the energy to stand up-- Comte: MC, are you taking a break? Turning around revealed Comte standing in the middle of the doorway.

Okay but like. I gotta say just the thought of him peeking around the corner is killing me, he's the cutest man alive I swear

But also. Now I'm wondering if he's lowkey like IS IT MEOW MEOW TIME? MEOW MEOW T I M E!!!!!! pounces on the opportunity for quality time. Somehow that's even more adorable I'm going to explode from uwus

MC: Indeed I am. Would you like to have some tea, too? Comte: That’s an attractive invitation, but if you don’t mind, would you spend some time with me for a little while after this? MC: Go out with you…? Comte: I’m thinking of going for a walk. Would you like to join me? His hand was outstretched in a gentlemanly gesture that touched/eased my heart. MC: Haha, I’d love to.

I laughed a little at this because I'm definitely the kind of person that's like "omg pls, you are not beating the silly goose allegations!!!" over him being all suave over a walk together but. At the same time. HEART EYES M-- King of romantics everywhere. Gentleman of my heart. Mellifluous seducer have MERCY

More under the cut!

Comte’s escort led me to a forest a short walking distance from the mansion. As I walk alongside him, the sunbeams penetrate through the trees as they sway with the breeze. Comte: The weather is lovely today, making it a perfect occasion for a walk. MC: You’re right…the wind feels nice, too. As I walked slowly listening to the rustling trees, I could feel the fatigue/tension draining out of me little by little. (It feels like my heart is being cleansed. It’s so soothing…) Comte: … It was then that I noticed Comte gazing at me calmly.

As somebody who used to be plus ultra literally every minute of my life, this made me so softe inside. The way he cares so much about her ;-; he really said "I will die before I disrespect a girlboss, but also. I am here. For to help PLS. Also a crumb of attention...p l swleseskje...."

(Ah…by any chance) MC: Comte Comte: Yes? MC: …You invited me out for a change of pace, didn’t you? Comte smiled softly at my words. Comte: I just wanted to take a walk with you like this.

I do love how, especially in recent events, MC notices his gestures more and more 🥺💛💛💛💛💛💛 I think it's really cute that he wants to be sneaky sweet and supportive, and whenever she realizes it he's like. C'est moi? You're not fooling anyone pretty boy!!! I know you have brain cells up there!!! But also the sincerity in that last line, of how he really does also just want to spend some time with her. How he's always saying the most wonderful thing she can give him is her time.

Just put my body out to sea I can't do this anymore--

I was enveloped in the sound of his voice, warming my heart, and my feet stopped involuntarily. Comte: MC? MC: Every time you treat me so kindly like this…I’m so happy I could cry Jokingly, Comte turned around and spread his coat. Comte: If you want to do so, that’s okay too MC: Huh… Comte: After all, there is no one here but us. If you want to cry, you can cry. Comte wrapped me gently in his open coat and murmured in my ear. Comte: Like this, there will be no trace of tears left behind. MC: Oh… (It’s okay to cry…that’s not something you hear very often when you’re fully grown.) (Just hearing him say that in such a sweet voice makes my heart feel lighter…) (Comte really is amazing)

Honestly this part just made me melt, I have no words--I'm down bad fellas. We love a man who encourages his partner that its safe to be vulnerable 😭🙏🏼

But also I feel the need to say. Comte don't offer this to me because from that point on I will live in your coat. It will no longer be 'Comte's nice coat,' but rather:

MC: Thank you. But…Aren’t you spoiling me too much? When I looked up and asked him, he leaned over to drop a kiss to my forehead… MC: Oh… Comte: I see. I think I don’t spoil you enough. Comte’s long fingers reached out to wipe my eyes gently. Comte: MC, I love everything about you. Comte: Your fatigue and your tears, don’t forget that it’s my privilege to soothe them with these hands. He gazes deeply into my eyes, and I can’t help how my heart races in response.

So like. Do you ever just cry and die. Because.

I'm like somewhere between "WE GOT A 2319!!!!!!!!!" and inches from professing my eternal love and loyalty like some kind of lovelorn knight too afraid to even touch the radiance of their beloved. Comte how on earth am I supposed to look at you without being blinded. Sun that's too bright!!!!! That's too b r i g h t!

I just. "Your fatigue and your tears, don’t forget that it’s my privilege to soothe them with these hands." [muffled wailing noises] Did I ASK--

Mfer out here like 'oh the terrible fate of being tied to me for eternity' meanwhile every second of being with him is either dizzyingly passionate or like being wrapped up in the warmest, fluffiest blankie imaginable. I HAVE TO S T A N SIR--

MC: Ah, if you spoil me so much, I’m afraid I won’t be able to do anything on my own anymore. Comte smiled a little as I laughed deceptively in the hopes of hiding how delighted I was. Comte: That’s great. I’d love to see that, myself. The fingers that had been stroking my eyes slipped down my cheek to touch my lips. Comte: If you can’t manage to walk alone--I’ll be there to hold you up, and walk alongside you. His sweet whisper ends when his lips gently cover mine. MC: Mn… In the midst of his enveloping kiss, I gently entrusted my body to the person dearest to me--

Can I just ?????? Say????? How much I love MC being teasing/catty with him as the events go on. I LOVE it here. I think I really like how she grows into her own strength, and how she feels comfortable expressing her shyness without ceding that integrity. One thing I've noticed that I love in relationships is this ability to air grievances in a playful way, where the stakes are low--but the person can still express their feelings and be comforted. I think I like how it's not about putting pressure on the person, but getting it out in the open and resolved all the same. It just fills me with warm fuzzies c:

Also. "If you can’t manage to walk alone--I’ll be there to hold you up, and walk alongside you." Like not to beat a dead horse, but wow. Pretty sure this metaphysically changed me as a person. Thanks, I will never be the same. True love exists, [unhinged barking noises], etc etc

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #i am So Normal About Him i promise (egregious lie) #no i do not have a dragon's hoard worth of transcribed stories #look a w a y #but fr this one really just ended my life #i'm so so so weak to the idea of a couple as two people supporting each other through good and bad #like i know that's the foundational operating precept of the thing but #nothing will ever ruin me the way comte does when he gets Ride Or Die #honestly all i think of when i see comte and mc tg is that one meme of like #team/couple be like: 'fk it we ball (tank)' and 'but did you die? (healer)' #not incorrect quotes #comte propaganda #fangdad propaganda #baguettosaurus

[agentmmayy]

2023 monthly music rotation

it's been a hot minute since i've made one of these, but here are all my favorite songs from each month of 2023!

january:

one i wanna be with - trella: oh bop!!!!!!!!!!! this ENTIRE SONG just makes me so happy!!!!!!! it’s so full of love!!! every lyric hits but especially i can’t help but wish we met before we did.

february:

antiques - holden laurence: god the desperation in this makes me want to claw my chest open and rip my heart out. the beat fucks in this jaunty rhythm that’s such a juxtaposition to the haunting lyrics and vocals. then the bridge?????? i promise to be strong i promise to believe in love that lingers on i’ll see you in my dreams. I’M CALLING THE POLICE. this is a tess/joel song. not only because of how apocalyptic this feels (which is a whole other discussion) but also meet me in the space between all the words unsaid when we could not speak meet me i’ll be waiting for you there. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

march:

borderline - tove lo: HOT. listen. everything tove lo writes and sings is inherently sexy i don't make the rules. this one especially wtf!!!!!!

unrequited night - lily kershaw: i- please respect my privacy at this time. this is a masterpiece. immediately a song i listened to laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. VERY tlou coded. (but then again every song i listened to in feb/march and lbr this past year was) AND THE GASP AT THE END GETS ME EVERY TIME.

april:

flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding. 

labor - paris paloma: the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 

may:

‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO????? 

vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i played the most in may because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like.

fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!

every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially:  ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it 

also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music! 

moonlight - madison rose: i wore this song into the ground!!!!! AMAZING beat and vibe. liberating rejuvenating sexy etc etc.

june:

cowboy take me away - the chicks: me personally!!!!! my favorite version of cowboy take me away. i DO wanna touch the earth and break it in my hands but i ESPECIALLY wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall!!!!!!!!! every summer is cowgirl summer but this song just turned the dial to the max. never have i ever wanted a cowgirl summer more.

july:

satellites - emi larraud: this one was interesting! VERY 80s themed. it's funky. it's powerful. it's just groovy.

august:

wicked game - ursine vulpine, annica: alright i'm a sucker for these intense ballads especially when they remind me of the 100 but seriously. it's sensuous. it's an experience. the vocals are out of this world.

pretty boy - LEON: of course i had to put a LEON song on here. while this isn't my favorite of hers it was just so nice to get a new song from her again. i felt like a wilting flower getting watered. to no one's surprise it's a bop and delivers lines that absolutely wreck me such as you can't outrun getting old, that hidden place where hope lives, well that's the last it goes. ma'am!!!

september:

moonburn - dani sylvia: feeling very seen rn thank you!!!!!!!! literally spongebob leaning against rock.jpg every time i listen. it's- ough. this song has layers and i am peeling them back like an onion. when does the healing start if you leave before daylight. saying SO much in one line!!!!!!! it's the inversion of the typical light vs dark trope for me! and the chorus is immaculate.

super graphic ultra modern girl - chappell roan: chappell hit it out of the park with her first album and THIS SONG SPECIFICALLY. the absolute journey @152glasslippers and i went on listening to this... especially at 22 seconds in. WHEW. super graphic ultra modern girl IS THAT GIRL!!!!!!! SHE IS THE MOMENT!!!!!

october:

honest mistake - bears den: screaming shaking crying throwing up etc etc. bears den always writes songs that lift me by my ankles and shake me until every humiliatingly private thought comes tumbling out in the lyrics of their songs. also i love how consistent they are with the aesthetics and formality of their songs. it's very soothing while ripping me up inside.

mars - noelle: listened to this 60 times in a day. you don't understand i found this song 10/17 and spotify stopped tracking 10/31 and it was my most listened to song of the year. it's dreamy. it's sweet. the vocals are stunning and the music is fantastic.

heart to heart - now more than ever: banger. when that beat dropped i was shook!!!!!!!!!! it's a very early 2000s emo vibe but also delightfully contemporary? the vibes are there. oh and the lyrics and the way they're sung is amazingly bittersweet.

november:

swimming pool - jack kane: one of my favorites of the whole year. if spotify didn't stop tracking before november this would have been my top song. it is 100000% a slow sad groove bop. every time i listen maybe not physically but spiritually i am girl at table.jpg. formally this song is delicious and lyrically it is devastating.

december:

scorpions - distance sprinter : okay this one might be a contender for top song. impeccable. there's crack in this. the beat is OUTSTANDING. i literally can't play this in the car if i'm driving because i will start dancing. the vibes are off the charts. at no point in this song do you expect what's next. the lyrics are heartbreaking and beautiful. there's so much i can say about this song but i am gnawing on the words it's just so good.

TOP SONGS OF THE YEAR: these have 5 stars. to me. 6 stars even.

antiques - holden laurence

unrequited night - lily kershaw

vagabond - overcoats

fireworks - JOSEPH

moonburn - dani sylvia

swimming pool - jack kane

scorpions - distance sprinter

#monthly music rotation #this is my true spotify wrapped #for further information: these are all songs i found in those months that were new songs to me! #they might not have been songs i listened to the most #just new songs that were my favorites out of the new ones i found #the top list are songs i LOVE. absolute bangers. 10/10 no notes #monthly music roundup #2023 in music

[tunamayojazz]

16 & 17 for inuokko

hi anon here i am 27438 years later before ur ask with (finally) an answer...!! i feel like i always held this off bc i knew i would be writing a whole essay. also a lot of this are headcanons eheh

16. one thing one character likes about their partner

let's go with toge first. it's so hard to narrow it down to one and im not sure if im even answering it correctly but i think toge loves seeing yuta live life, and how he does it. he knows that most of yuta's life only ever consisted of feeling very alone and guilty for even being alive. but after coming to jujutsu tech and forming meaningful bonds with people, he's finally really living again. and toge has had the pleasure of getting to watch yuta experience many things that most would consider mundane for the first time. yuta more than anything, loves being with those he cares about, and that includes doing things together. yuta hadn't had any hobbies prior to their meeting (he was too busy thinking abt offing himself lbr) but being with him, maki and panda, yuta's learned a lot about living. through ear damaging karaoke sessions and game nights, crying watching a movie about dogs, baking a disastrous cake for someone's birthday, field trips and quiet nights just looking at the stars together, he's found meaning in life. and to watch his growth since the day they met, seeing how yuta embraces all things new and welcomes them with eagerness and most of all, a kind and curious heart, toge doesn't think he could love anything more.

17. Now one thing the other character likes about the first chara

if yuta could he would fight me so he can write this himself lmao. WHERE TO START. MAN HAS A LIST !!! i'll just throw a dart. and oh we've landed on something. something yuta Loves about toge: his thoughtfulness. toge is great at thinking ahead and anticipating the needs of the people around him before they do. his love language is acts of service (FIGHT ME!! or hug me bc im sure we all agree). when yuta has his bad days, he doesn't have the will to do anything especially take care of himself. his room is a mess, and he will burst into tears and the sight of unfolded laundry on his floor that he is unable to bring himself to organize. but he'll crawl back from a mission the next day to see his room all clean and neat. then he cries more bc he knows who did it. maki gets the worst period cramps in the world (ALL HOT GIRLS DO </3) and goes through painkillers quickly. she finds that she never runs out bc they always restock themselves (it's toge) and when she's busy dying and unable to get out of bed, toge comes in with a heat pack and a light meal. panda just observes and helps toge help their friends honestly HJDSHFJD but yes i think toge is really good with thoughtful actions, yuta feels immensely lucky and very much in love with someone with such a gentle soul and big heart. MWAH

(why did it get so unserious in the second half i am so sorry)

#inumaki #okkotsu yuta #yuuta #inumaki toge #inuokko #i feel so much for inuokko sometimes i feel like its hard to filter my thoughts...soz for this mess #i love them !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #asks

[cookinguptales]

OH right, Blue Beetle!

I really enjoyed it! I've been a fan of Jaime Reyes for a long time and I honestly never believed he'd get his own movie. And?? Such a good one???

I worried going into it that he looked too cool in the trailers. Is that weird to say? I loved dorky baby teenager Jaime when I was a kid. He felt like One Of Us, y'know? And then I watched the trailers and I was like "hmmmmmm."

But even though he's a bit older in this movie and has his shit together a little more, he's still very much Jaime Reyes at heart. 💙 Love that weird little dork of a man that always means so well, even if he doesn't always know what to do. And I found myself rooting for him so hard!

The movie was overall just really charming and fun and occasionally emotionally devastating. A good mixture of action, character relationships, humor, and politics, imo. The characters were so endearing, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how things develop going forward.

A few more thoughts (with spoilers) beneath the cut.

I was actually a little surprised by how sad parts of the movie were, but it felt right, too. The heart of the movie really was the simultaneous power of familial love and horror of family separation. Family separation really seemed to affect all the characters in their own ways, whether that was due to corporate greed, politics, war, racism, or just good-old-fashioned horrific US policy.

Like... You come to realize that it really permeated every part of the movie. Alberto's devotion to his family, the years he put into bringing them all to Palmera City. The very real fear that going to the cops would invite an unfair immigration investigation into their household. Jenny losing her parents at such a young age, and the sharp divide between her and her aunt. Jaime's family loss as well. Carapax's truly fucked-up backstory. Hell, even divisions being sown between Victoria Kord and her brother when her father gave the company to Ted instead of the person who'd built it.

(Don't get me wrong, Victoria Kord was truly evil, child soldiers and all. I was not rooting for her. But lbr, that doesn't seem to be why her equally war-mongering father cut her out of the company. You have to wonder if she would have done quite so much damage in the end if she hadn't felt such a virulent need to prove herself and destroy her brother's pacifistic legacy. But! Who knows? She might have been even worse if she'd had all that power from the beginning.)

And, y'know, all of the characters deal with the horror of family separation in different ways. Carapax became weaponized by an imperialistic power that didn't give one shit about him. Victoria became embittered, violent, and downright brutal. And Jaime could have gone the same way, so furious over the loss of his own family that he gave into wanton destruction as well -- but Khaji Da didn't let him. (WAILING.) Instead, he managed to take the same route as Jenny: transmuting his rage into a need for justice, into a passion for making the world better so no one else would lose their loved ones the same way.

Y'all, I was in there crying at a superhero movie!!! IT'S FINE, I'm FINE.

I heard that the creator of the movie hadn't actually initially intended for Alberto to die (which I understand, tbh) but I did think it was really beautiful the way it was incorporated into the movie. Bringing Mexican culture to the foreground yet again in its discussions about and attitudes toward death. God, those candles were beautiful. ;;

I mean -- as someone who literally dropped all of my DC subs the day they "fixed" Oracle and never gave DC another cent until this movie came out, I really am passionate about the need for diverse heroes. Part of the reason I felt like I was getting emotional in that theater was because I remembered how much Oracle meant to me as a young disabled teen who couldn't make sense of her trauma or her disability or her inherent power. I remember how much losing the only positive role model I had devastated me.

And like... I want kids with the same background as Jaime to see themselves in him. I want them to be able to feel the way I felt back then. Honestly, that was a lot of why I finally broke my boycott. I think characters like Jaime, while brilliant in their own right, are also important, and I want to support them.

So when I realized how raucously, joyously, passionately this movie was gonna depict Latino culture and its own diversity within the US, I was thrilled! And I cried lmao.

(What can I say, I've been kind of weepy lately lmao.)

But yeah, honestly I cheered in the theater when Khaji Da switched to Spanish. I was like YEAH GIRL.

Other times I was actively fangirling in the theater:

Nana Reyes gunning down imperialists

Ted Kord reveal(s)!!!

"Batman's a fascist. Blue Beetle knew how to have fun." :')

Khaji Da stopping Jaime from killing that man

Milagro and Rudy having no such compunctions

Dr. "Sanchez" standing up for himself and his name reveal (which is a very fun easter egg for WWDITS fans, lmao. I wasn't expecting it and I had to stifle a little shout of laughter.)

Honestly, as a former DC fan I really loved how much thought and care was put into incorporating the really messy canonical history of the Scarab. Obviously they deviated from existing canon, but in ways that I thought were really fun and interesting. I'm excited to see what happens with the Kords going forward, y'know? I hope that Jenny, too, isn't cut out of her own family legacy. I'd never want to separate Khaji Da and Jaime, obviously, but there has to be something for that woman to do to follow in her father's (secret) footsteps.

I realize that this review is kind of all over the place (like my mind the past few days), but I really, really enjoyed it. I was feeling pretty out of sorts the day I saw it and it really raised my spirits a lot. It turns out that after all these years, I still really love Jaime Reyes! And I love his family! And I love Jenny, too!

even dr. de la cruz a little bit, even if he sure did take his sweet time to find a backbone

The movie was just super fun (as well as unexpectedly thought-provoking) and I really enjoyed it!

#blue beetle #I'll probably go see it again before it leaves theaters lmao #what a good time tbh #I read Jaime's monthly as it was coming out (I'm old lmao) and I never thought we'd get here! #let's gooo

[tableintheteacherslounge]

Abbott Elementary S03E09 thoughts

Janine come home the kids miss you (I’m the kids)

Work wives cold open okay I’m winning - I want to see the rehearsals of the hand game and know the lore of barlissa both knowing it - do they play it together? (Or are their handgames something different)

Courtney’s growing up 🥺😖

JA’BRIA oh my god get it baby

“Do i eat it like i did last time” 😭

“You’re colouring a carrot” ate him UP

“Am i being fiîíįred?” See this is why quinta has an Emmy

Still obsessed with keegan michael key being here

JANINE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT was my initial thought, but I think (hope) it being introduced before the season finale means she’s gonna change her mind

“Mrs Howard cold as hell” IJBOL

The AI subplot is so funny and like relevant yk I like it

I also like the work wives of it all

Ew melissa calling barb ‘barbara’ always feels wrong

“7 absences thats not too bad” “Plus today” “8? Thats very bad” 😭😭

Barb why are u proud not heartbroken ur daughter is leaving (ok i get she’s prpud of Janine’s growth but)

Pretending not to care while crying is SO Melissa 😭😭

Melissa pulling barb into the group hug 😣🫶

Barb laughing at pussyfooted 🏳️‍🌈🌈

Barlissa trying to get jacob to talk is so cute - I love work moms

I feel like these phone calls are part of the reason s3 feels stilted

As a brit I was lost at the whole ‘we cant do anything to get alex to show’ situation when we have attendance officers in schools, the ‘peril’ greg and janine would face didnt land because it doesn’t work like that here

The jellybean belt 😭😭

After we’ve been reminded 567 times that going to alexs house is strictly against policy will it stop janine getting the job or will there be zero consequences

“What?” “What?!” “She said shes working full time at the district” 😭😭😭

Me 🤝 barlissa - defending mr johnson

“Most of the toilets in this joint running some of the time” LMAOOO

“And u wouldve known that if u read my news letter u IGNORANT FOOL” ijbol 😭

Teddie having a domestic and having to be broken up by alex’s little ‘hello?’ 😭😭 aww ☹️

One thing about the abbott characters they will not stay on topic

Janine’s reasoning with alex 🥹🥺 she’s such a good teacher 😭😭

Greg doesnt want janine to be someone who comes and goes 😖😖😖

JANINE TAKING TIME TO THINK BC OF GREGORY IKTR TEDDIE FTW

Ok why did this feel like 3 minutes when I first watched it, I was like ok where’s the rest

Teddie is SO BACK come on yearning

When will melissa admit she misses janine

Janine is NOT taking that job, but when will she fully realise that herself?

Oh and the ava plot line eh i didnt really care, but lbr ava, u love janine deep down

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary season 3 #abbott elementary s3 #abbott elementary thoughts

[alfryco]

okay your ask inspired me so more AH asks for you: 1, 5, 8, 25, 34, 48, 51!! <3

Thank you for the questions Emrys :3

1) How did you get into AH?

Already answered, but I got into them by seeing a video somebody made on youtube with a bunch of other fandoms that were popular on Tumblr in 2014.

5) Favorite team?

Whatever the hell team name Trevor and Alfredo have now (tho Team Nice Dynamite is always right behind them in my heart)

8) Favorite AU?

Hmm favorite AU would have to be the Fake AH Crew AU just because of all the memories I have of messing around in that AU and all the great content that people have created using that AU. There's just so much to do when the characters you're playing with are literal criminals.

25) Has a video or specific moment ever made you emotional?

Not sure if this is for like sad emotional or happy emotional or whatever, but the first video I can remember off the top of my head that made me emotional in the sad way was when Meg had to host The Know after Monty passed away.

34) Have you seen the musical?

Yep I have! Watched the whole thing when it was mixed with the GTA video.

48) If you have one, who’s your favorite fic author or fan artist?

OOoohhh boy do I *cracks knuckles*

Since I know I can't narrow this down to like one author and artist I'm just gonna do a handful of the large amount of people that have created some of my favorite works and inspired me/influenced me with how I write.

So author wise I have to first give it up for @confusedeevee who without her I would most likely not be writing AH fanfic like I am today, plus she's an excellent beta, amazing writing partner and always helps me brainstorm when I need it and will listen to me rant and rave about all my au ideas even tho it's probably 3 am for her :') and her fics are out of this world, please go read them.

Next is @futureboy LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE who fed (and continues to feed tbh) my alfreyco cravings and has some of the best written dialogue out there and a head full of incredible ideas when it comes to writing! They just have some of the best writing out there and they're honestly killing it with the ST fics right now.

And since we're talking about Alfreyco (because how could we not am i right??) @jusst-you-wait is honestly really to blame for me still writing AH fic to this day, because this lovely alfreyco obsession of mine started when I read her Fake AH fic about Trevor and Alfredo investigating some abandoned building for Geoff and that's all she wrote. Also one of the best hype mans out there and such a great writer!

And I can't forget @shadeofazmeinya and @sorcererinthestars who also have some of the best fics out there in my opinion. And tbh I included both of them in one thing because one is not far from the other when it comes to fics and tumblr and there places in my HEART! Love these two so much and both have them have produced such fantastic work in this fandom and appreciate that every single DAY.

Ok now with artists unfortunately there aren't as many as there used to be in the ye olden days of the fandom, but that doesn't mean we don't have some excellent artists still!

Firstly is @keeningthoughts who without them I would not have the lovely alfreyco outlast fanart that I cry over almost daily and would not have known the joys of being in a server dedicated to a podcast co-lead by two very silly boys. Clay, your everchanging art style and the art you've drawn, no matter how silly, have always made me so happy when i see them on here or twitter :3

And then @ursifors who has created some of the most awesome art in this fandom. Just the way you draw the AH members (and Jeremy lbr) is so incredible and fun to look at. Your shading and the way you draw expressions are always the best. Like the way you nail people's faces is just 👌👌👌👌

51) Any videos, series, podcasts, etc. you’d recommend to new fans?

Would definitely recommend Red Web (how can I not?) if you're into spooky things and conspiracy theories, but for general AH stuff I would recommend Off Topic because that is always a good, tho sometimes chaotic, way to get a feel for the vibes at AH. As for videos, any Between the Games and Shenanigans videos are always great to watch. Series wise, there are always MC and GTA videos, which are CLASSICS even if they're older and Play Pals which is 👌. Always recommend those. Some more recent ones would be GMOD and 7 days to die. Also the Rage Quit anniversary video they came out like two weeks ago. That was an excellent video.

#hey a question #rtah #lapingumbar #ok that was so much fun to answer #i hope i didnt forget anybody in the author/artist section but if i did i luv u and the work you put into this fandom makes me #so unbelievably happy like u have no idea

[randomingoftherandomness]

Amusing thought of the evening: Extended Gong family vs Would You Fuck Your Own Clone meme

Ooo yes yes yes… I’m assuming you are talking about the Backhill Boys?

Xue Tongzi - I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.

LBR anyone who has that level of drive to remain youthful would totally be the type to be down to bang himself 10/10

The type to grade himself on performance, expression, creativity, and visuals. He’d be mean too. He’s into that.

Xue Gongzi - To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.

Bro. Broooo…

Dude would probably smile demurely before launching into the 10,000 ways, some of them physically intimidating, of how he would break the bed with his clone. Maybe break his back too. And make sure the front hill knows what he’s doing.

Would exchange notes with Elder Yue.

Elder Yue (the younger) - Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro clone-fucking I am.

The man is Yuanzhi without the self stabbing of poisons to find out the side effects and with the added layer of actually having a love that is requited but we aren’t here to talk about that :)))

This is the man who would clone himself to put them all in every configuration and manoeuvres so that he can see first hand how he would look and possibly feel in them. Bro would work through the Kama Sutra and then write another tome. Whether it’s purely for research purposes or not, that’s for our imaginations to fill :D

Young Master Hua - It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.

For me, I don’t think he’s fussed about the whole matter? Dude’s so sword focused and he’s got the daddy issues enough to rival Vogue’s issues, so I doubt it would matter to him whether he’s fucking a clone or nah.

That said, boy is a gentleman and is sweet and summer sunshine and would totally be the kind to fuck his clone slow and nice until said clone is crying for more :) and that’s when he’ll give it to him.

#my journey to you #xue tong zi #Xue gongzi #Hua gongzi #Yue gongzi #my journey to you meta

[boxwinebaddie]

ninaninanina!!!!!!!! do you have headstannon (stan headcannon hehe ★⌒ヽ( ͡° ε ͡°)♥)

anonanonanon! ok 'headstannon' is so cute i am crying you are a genius, my friend, but i am not sure if you meant one or one million so i can give you a couple pep!stan ones i enjoy deeply! sorry if there are a lot i am deeply passionate about him

i'm putting this under a readmore because i talked too much but oh my god i was so excited aaaaaaaa!~ -nina <3

stan having the nose ring that he puts the little emo boy charm bracelet charms on is like my favorite #headstannon like its just so cute n fruity to me that he does that! he changes them out weekly, the star one is the MAIN one but also theres a flower one a heart one so many omg. is there a K one? spicy!!! but yeah its kinda like his equivalent of a mood ring. if hes being zesty hes got all his little emo boy jewelry out if theres nothing on...something is happening

p severe adhd, dyslexia and dyscaulcia, god nerfed him bc he was too beautiful he needed a flaw and the flaw was being bad at school and he is VERY insecure abt it

no ass...sorry ily king also no rizz

short king also but the docs do give him an 1 1/2 so hes usually like 5'8 and 3/4 but sometimes he is like 5'9 or 5/10 on a good day which is hilarious bc kyle is like 6'3" im crying

chaotic bi disaster also i wanna say lawful good but probably actually neutral good on a spicy day

king of the mosh pit doesnt care abt getting hurt he wants 2 die music is his medicine ( kyle is also his cherry nyquil )

isfp!!!!!! argue w ur mom!

hes 25% japanese in pep and i love that for him

i also think he might have bipolar? v tentative diagnosis i just feel like he has really high highs and really low lows and it just feels very right to me

ok when the cartman waged ginger hate train came back and all of south park high was ripping on kyle for being ginger...bleach blonde stan totally went ginger in solidarity which actually looked good( he always looks good lbr ) but it was very stressful for kyle who was like idk i cant think hes hot this is gincest khslkd

also sometimes does fun colors when he is bored like red pink blue lavender idk its fun...but the blonde is his fav

when hes older tho goes back to black but he is still an alt king so sometimes he does a little blonde strip omg

signature drink is probably a screwdriver bc of toolshed jokes which he says really provacatively and kyle is like CHILL also its orange like kyle...gay ass bitch oh my god

rage cage and keg stand sp high champion baby!!!!

i touch on it in 13 but corner store guy raj basically raised stan

can open a beer with ANYthiNG!!!! anything!!! a wrench a spoon, he used a skateboard once, a hairclip, his teeth....he will get that s.o.b open hand it to u and wink jdkfhdfh wowza

wendy and stan are platonic soulmates also wendy is a lesbian

is a hopeless romantic and loves romantic gestures but hates getting flowers bc omg u....killed them? ur giving him dead plants? he would be infinitely happier if u gave him a succulent or something

i feel like he secretly fucks with lana del rey...kenny sends him stuff and is like baby this is u...and hes like shut up oh my god then listened to carmen one time and was like do u live in my brain

seems like very cool and calm and electric on stage ( be it choir concerts, theatre productions or just crimson dawn preforming ) but he has very bad stage fright and usually has to take a shot or too to be charismatic

will bite u...not in a mean way in a sexy way or a pay attention 2 me way

VINYL RECORD SNOOOOOOB he also puts vinyls on and plays guitar along with it

ok also SHREDS ON ELECTRIC GUITAR like absolutely decimates its awesome his acoustic covers are also beautiful tho

writes most of crimson dawns songs w kenny

him and kenny are also like…brothers they are really close i luv their dynamic sm

him and kenny also have matching badly done stick and poke ass tattoos from when they were wasted and probably something for sparkty

BODIES 'karen-oke' like in kennys trailer when he comes over he is the fun uncle ( karen is like his niece tbh ) and sings her frozen songs and its so cute

also really good with children kids love stan its bc hes beautiful and has big eyes and looks like a handsome cartoon character also hes so nice

bad at rolling joints idk why i just feel this and kenny roasts him

flirts w kyle relentlessly when drunk i mean rELENtleSSLY like the u could take all the texts abt kyles ass and bind them into a BOOK the size of harry potter thats how serious it is and he means every word

not just stan but the core four plus one more totally went as scooby doo for hween, stan as fred obvi blonde stan leader stan, OK KYLE WENT AS DAPHNE HE DID NOT WEAR A DRESS OR ANYTHING SKIMPY but he did wear a purple sweater and also totally rocked the purple and green, kenny as shaggy obvi, marj went as velma which....so cute and cartman either went as the mystery machine or scooby bc fuck him

also stan and kyle totally went as terrance and phillip one hween

addresses all his diary entries ( poorly written spelled bad like junie b jones bad handwriting awful ) to sparky who...if u read pep 7 randy was drunk and hit sparky with his car backing out of the driveway drunk n killed him immediately on impact...awful...stan wears his dog tag as a necklace

cried watching the notebook sahlkjsahd he secretly loves chick flicks thinks elle woods was a girl boss and reminds him of kyle a little

he is....ai generated pretty....so pretty like its frightening and unnatural like he is hollister model hot but also looks like randy except he has sharons kind eyes her big smile and her dimple and shelley and stan ( they have a really complicated relationship that is a large part of 14 im so excited ) but shelley looks like sharon a lot she did get randys beady eyes and maliciousness but i love her

stan loves sunsets ( again...orange like kyles hair...gay )

loves the smell after it rains and the forest

wants to pierce his eyebrow

is gods angel

i hope that suffices! he is my baby i love him emo angel!

#stan marsh #hc #south park #ao3 #literally my baby and my angel also uh if u see this and like it i hope u like my fan fic it should update either tomorrow or the next day

[taegularities]

You know what? I will feel so empty without them. Discovered them in March 2022 (yes one of my biggest regret in my life). Since then i never once stop talking about them to my friend, i was harrassing her lmao giving her daily updates even if she doesn’t care. I once said that i only breath rnb but i can also say today that i breath bangtan.

Bangtan help me filled a missing piece in my love life? In some way, they were helping me to escape reality. Before knowing them i never once dated someone (still don’t) and to think that i have to face back reality, by confronting the mores of our society and by hoping to find someone who is gonna help me filled that gap, well, yes it hits hard. I am affraid of a lot of things regarding love and relationships in general. I don’t think i have issues nor that i am insecure. With years i started accepting to love myself but i still know that it isn’t enough. Because a part of me says otherwise. An ex friend of mine, once said to me that i was waiting for a partner to accept myself because what i needed was insurance. I feel that it is true. At the same time I might think that « the one » will never appeared to me if i don’t love myself enough. How can i love someone else if i am not even able to love myself? Men that i allowed in my life, played me or didn’t fit my standards. Am i wrong with that? Am i wrong for not giving them a chance to know me or to like me? The more i grow up the more i feel lonely in that society. I felt the lack of affection a lot before bangtan and now that they are gone, i am back to square one. I know that at some point of my life i will have to settle with someone and detached myself from them. For now i don’t have that someone and don’t have them until they are back. But more serioulsy this society pressure me a lot, makes it hard to be fully happy… Not me being so dramatic, i am so sorry. Wanted to vent a bit… tough day. Hope yours wasn’t too harsh tho <3

hi bby. i wanted to be in a headspace where i can answer this properly, but even now, i am at such a loss for words bc i so know what you mean. don't worry about joining 'late' – one idea this fandom has always agreed upon is that you find bangtan just when you're in need of them. i'm not sure how they do that or what the magic behind it is, but they always come into our lives when we need them the most.

and yeah, that's why all of this hurts so much, too! i remember crying my eyes out when last year's festa came out and they announced their hiatus. right now, i feel like it's not quite sinking in that in a few days, they'll all be leaving and be gone at the same time, and it's a harsh reality to cope with. but you know… i find comfort in the thought that they love us just as much (more even, lbr). time is going to pass for them as it will for us, and i promise you they'll be thinking of us every dang moment, so the love, at least, never fades. we'll try our best to be healthy and live our best lives and then come together when they do!! in the meantime, we have each other, so i hope everyone sticks around and holds each other's hand!!

i understand how scary love can be. discovering that people can be kind and so generous raised my standards, too – the boys really did. it's gotten so hard to find someone who fits those expectations, but yk… at some point, we will definitely need to detach ourselves from the idea that every man will be like them. we shouldn't settle for anything less, but we shouldn't reject everyone either who isn't just like them. that's what i've been going with.. the thought to never be able to settle is so freaking scary, but i promise you will!! one day, you'll find someone who fits you just perfectly, and you'll be happy, babe, i can tell you as much. and be as dramatic as you want to be, bc gawd, we're allowed to hurt! i just hope your days get better and that you feel okay as soon as possible. sending you all my love and the tightest hugs, axelle 🥺🤍

#im here for yall if you need anything pls dont apologise for venting #but im also sorry i rambled.. it's been quite a week for me too and i've been tearing up constantly today :') #we got this 🫂 #notes for rid 🌹 #axelle <3