#let me know if theres something else

[heartratehibernate]

I'm supposed to post here every now and then, huh? Sure would be fucking great if I remembered I made this blog for a reason.

I promise not all my self portraits are me sitting and looking depressed. Different version under the cut.

Kinda dig the black and white. Dunno if it's my style though. Was cool to play around with anyway. Been struggling to find my style, actually. Guess I gotta do more art for that.

#cw self harm #cw eyestrain #think thats all the content warnings this needs #let me know if theres something else #not me #my source self is a special interest #so i know you bitches shove me in the content warnings #yeah i see you #/lh #thinking about scheduling posts #at least id remember #am i supposed to add more to this shit #do people even read the tags #why the fuck do i care actually #this blog is for me #i can add however many fucking tags as i want #i can add 100 if i want #tumblr probably has a limit on that though #think ill schedule a few posts every now and then #fingers crossed i remember i guess #exposure tags incoming #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #jeff the killer fictive #creepypasta #creepypasta fictive #fictive #system #plural #osddid

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #environmental stewardship #gardening #outdoor gardening #(i know this is literally the Dont Gotta Garden post but these could also be excellent additions to a preexisting garden so) #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #here in the tags to once again emphasize your mileage may vary with all of these #my mom is scared of bats theres no way in hell shes gonna let me put up a bat box #but I have been able to put out a shallow bird bath and a little solarpowered hummingbird bath fountain #do what you can! every bit counts! You may be able to do something that I or your neighbors can't! #for example my nextdoor neighbors have literally no trees in their backyard where the hell would they put a bat box #meanwhile i have trees in my backyard but still can't put up a bat box. maybe the neighbors next to me could! #similarly brush piles are a no go for my family but someone somewhere else could set one up! #i am rambling in the tags now uh long story short do what you can don't stress about what you can't

[falloutcoys]

can you imagine if mike walters had a tumblr account

5 notes

🔌woebegone-official Follow

something special might be going out to certain players later today ;) only the best of the best will get this opportunity!

🧠 donthatetheplayer Follow

wtf guys you said i was #1 and i didn't get anything? @cannonball do you know what's going on???

💎 proudwbgdropout

bro really believed them 💀💀💀

187 notes

🧸 ryanapologist69 Follow

please tag your spoilers!! the game runners put so much work into the build up for these challenges. if you know what the pig means when you get it, there's no suspense!

#challenge 3 spoilers #woe.begone spoilers #it's like people don't even care about the game experience. don't play if your hearts not in it!

12 notes

🐻 imthebear reblogged

🐻 imthebear

don't tell him but i have a special surprise for edgar back at base! i'm so excited

🏎️ marissanotmelissa Follow

ohhhh my god could you two shut up about each other for even a moment? like, we get it guys! you're in love!

🐻 imthebear

you know you can just block me

🏎️ marissanotmelissa Follow

yeah but then i wouldn't know what to make fun of you for in meetings

#cmon mikey you know i love you #<- that doesnt mean you get to be mean to me! :( #i'm not bringing you biscuits and gravy tomorrow

9 notes

🌲 over-polls Follow

please reblog for larger sample size! <3

🌲 over-polls Follow

i should have expected this

113,821 notes

felixfiles-deactivated20230924

oops i think my boss found my account. i might have to go back and unmake it, sorry friends

👨🏼‍🔬 green87 Follow

A little late for that, I'm afraid!

🏢 compound-heritage-posts

certified heritage post

7,209 notes

🔦 troyfromthefrontgate Follow

wait how does this work. what does reblog mean?

#woe.begone #wbg #w.bg #fake posts #fakeposting #fake dashboard #unreality #tw unreality #unreality tw #uhhh idk if theres anything else i should tag #for like. block lists or whatnot #let me know if i need to add something #this is my first fakepost hope it is decent lol

[sparring-spirals]

Its very important to me that the timing of Fearne's plea to the Wildmother and Orym's plea to the Wildmother are close to each other in the timeline. Partly for: the heartwrenching image of Orym, exhausted, voice sad and tired, fresh off of his friends, again, wondering if the gods are- worth the hassle. Pleading to the Wildmother, desperate and lost. Unaware that somewhere, sometime adjacent, Fearne, scared but whole, had wandered into the Wildmother temple. And prayed to a god she wasn't sure was alive, leaning on Orym's faith, thinking of him, channeling him, for his sake. Asking to- above all else, let him know they're alright? He'll be worrying. (And he was. And he is).

And partly for the image of the Wildmother, presumably very busy with some kind of apocalypse handling logistics, to either:

- Recieve Fearne's ask of "hey..... tell Orym we're okay (and maybe keep him okay too. if you can)" only to immediately recieve Orym's message and go "oh yeah hes absolutely NOT okay, oof"

OR

- Recieve Orym's wavering, heartfelt plea, followed immediately by "hey lady!! if you're still alive can you tell orym we're okay-" and thinking "oh yeah Orym your friends are fine-"

(i cant figure out which is funnier. in a tragic kind of way.)

#dont get me wrong fearne was absolutely having a hard time throughout the wildemount arc too. the separation was HARD on her. #but theres something about the shared- the best way to make orym feel better is to let him know everyone else is okay #and fearne knowing that and speaking in those terms and mean while everyone involved (fearne. orym. us. melora) are well aware that the #question is 'are fearne and the others okay' but the biggest benefit is for orym. who is VERY not okay #critical role #c3e62 #orym #fearne #fearnrym #cr spoilers #LISTEN. i am trying to make a shipost but my sentences are coming out too long. and character dives keep sneaking in. im sorry. but also #not. #character meta #speculation #shitpost #the wildmother #melora

[rayllumoon]

Ok, I'm brainstorming a Rayllum FF and wanted to get ppl's opinions on a few things. In the case of a modern au, if Callum were to attend university, what related major do y'all think he would go into? (Reblog/comment for specific majors, and reasoning if you would like).

#rayllum #rayllum au #rayllum poll #tdp rayllum #callum x rayla #tdp #poll #modern au #rayllum ff #i couldnt quite decide if he would go i to art bc obviously he draws #or if he would keep that as a hobby and go into something else #like history #or linguistics or something since he enjoys learning magic in canon #in this au i think magic will be a thing of the past #like no one knows how to use it #but theres still remnants of it in xadia #so rayla will still be an elf #she just wont have magic elf stuff #if that makes any sense #anyways let me know what y'all think

[youssefguedira]

the problem with me and nolan is that i ALMOST love a lot of his movies (that ive seen) except in almost every one there's 1 glaring aspect that i hate (it's usually misogyny) that makes it hard to like the rest of the movie

#i mean. oppenheimer is an outlier bc there's several aspects i dont like abt that one #interstellar? misogyny. inception? only one i don't have major issues with #misogyny still there but at least theres less than fuckin. interstellar #dont get me wrong i like interstellar otherwise but like. #both it and oppenheimer have a problem of the film TELLING us that the women in it are super smart and influential! but in the film itself #they never get to show that like. when does murphy do anything really. when does anne hathaway's character do anything except #hinder the mission because of ~emotions~ why is the main guy always right even though hes not always the most qualified person in the room #why does kitty oppenheimer say ive been upgraded to housewife! sarcastically only to be cast right back into that role by the film #no matter how good emily blunt may be she can't save that she has 1 good scene and it's not that long #dont even get me started on jean tatlock in that film ill start biting. #i KNOW that parts of oppenheimer are supposed to be subjective but do we ever see those women in the ~objective~ section? no #and if that's your only portrayal of these women with only vague indicators that there might be something else going on i'm not letting it #go. excuse for writing them badly #ANYWAY #neon has thoughts #movie tag #i think nolan and i just don't get along. i think i need to accept this and move on with my life but unfortunately it's really frustrating. #all his stuff is ALMOST good. and then

[watatsumiis]

Heya, I'm not entirely sure how to start this post, it feels a little weird making it at all, but I realised it might be some kind of necessary evil or something like that.

To that anon who sent me those three asks last night (all within the span of a few minutes and the same typing style, so I know they're from the same person), I wanted to reach out to you. I'm not going to sit here and call you names and mock you because that's simply not the kind of person I am, despite the things you said and the assumptions you made. This is going on the idea that you're not a troll stirring drama and just ... someone who had something to say, but wasn't sure how to say it.

I know sometimes that anonymous feature is really tempting, especially when you feel like someone has wronged you and you want to give them a piece of your mind in a very abrupt manner, but it's not a productive way of conversation at all. All it does is upset people (including yourself, because I know in a lot of cases you'll end up refreshing and waiting for some kind of response that you probably won't get).

If you have something you'd like to have a conversation about, you can reach out calmly and maturely and have a genuine conversation with the person instead of sending them messages that they'll likely gloss over and probably even laugh at. I figured you likely won't do it, so I want to reach out and invite you to have a genuine conversation with me, no hard feelings about the asks, I'd just like to get your perspective and clarify on some of the things you've said. You're free to DM me or send me an ask off-anon, since I've blocked your anon asks. This kind of behaviour is genuinely not healthy for anybody and even if you don't reach out, I hope you're able to take some time and reflect on that, take a step back from the intricacies of social media for a bit and go from there.

#general barks #this goes for anybody by the way - if anything i say or talk about or reblog concerns you and youd like to clarify then please #just reach out instead of sending anonymous messages please. im always willing to sit down and have a conversation #with someone who can get their points across in a calm and mature manner. #discourse #anon hate #let me know if theres anything else i should be tagging this as - im happy to do so #not quite the note i wanted to start off on today but that's okay. i suppose its sparking a much needed conversation #discourse and drama just isnt something id like to be involved in

[sleepygaymerdisease]

does anyone else ever get certain phrases stuck in their head for no reason. i dont mean like catchphrases or quotes btw i mean like original writing

#theres a few phrases lately that ive been typing out and then having to change to something else because i keep repeating it so much 😭 #and like i dont show my writing to many ppl so like i know its not the biggest deal in the world but its still just like. idk. #some of my thiughts are very important to me and i cannot let them lose their potency even if i like the concepts that it touches. #i need to elaborate on it. show it in a different light. use different phrasings. get into the specifics. like. #as much as i like certain lines i cant rely on them. does that make any sense... idk. im probably overthinking this considering that i dont #rlly have like any big major projects with an actual tangible endgoal rn but it makes me worry for no reason anyway 💀 #WHATEVER. i have sentences i like to repeat somethings thats all i had to say rlly #also wow its pretty late huh i should sleep or something #anis gaymer moments

[larabar]

Please give more info for your Frontiers au, it makes me very happy

HI YES ALWAYS

this is late because i wanted to have a little more to show you than i had before but Anyway

ok .ok so

each character in the game had their own Main Issue/Thing. amy's was .idk love and wanting to share it with others. knux's was his ancestors and his own past, learning to get off angel island once in a while. and tails' was all about his independence

but for sonic it was really hard to find something sjdnfj since he doesn't really have anything to go off of (flat character and all that) but. i got thinking about how cyberspace affected each character and just how it Works

from what i understand, being stuck between cyberspace and reality has no feeling to it, no sense of being 'grounded', and all that other fun stuff .

and that sounds like a living hell for sonic

he can't do anything. he can run but it doesn't give him the same feeling because there is no feeling. the most he can do is just sit back and wait till everything's fixed.

y'know what just take this

not finished but it gets my point across and also im so normal about these two

#also .little things #when any character thats trapped in cyberspace gets angry or something i think they should get more glitchy. like theyre flaring up #this is just an excuse to let sonic hang out with the koco more #they love him a lot its like second nature for sonic to get along with little guys #pretty sure theres a cutscene with tails where he just. runs through a portal HE MADE into cyberspace #so can they move freely between the two realities ?? #really really hoping the dlc gives us more info on all this half ghost stuff i must know #OH AND im still trying to figure out if the cyber ghost characters could hypothetically leave their respective islands #like are they literally stuck there or is it just the fact that theyre islands and theres no clear way across them #can they meet each other in cyberspace ? or is it different for everyone no matter what so theyre always in different places #can the cyber ghost characters touch each other or is it the same as anything else #um anyways .thats all for today =] <cant sleep because of all these thoughts and more #its .1am.goodnight #<ME LAST NIGHT #it is afternoon now .sorry this took so long i just wanna talk about this so bad but i have no idea how to do that #but uh yeah thanks for asking about it !! genuinely made me so so happy #i wanna finish that cutscene concept sometime soon they are rotting my brain as we speak #sth #doodles #asks #sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers spoilers #frontiers role swap

[redstrewn]

I wonder if vere doesnt get w anyone bc its just too easy to stop caring about others (im projecting)

Edit: no hes probably too passionate for that. He doesnt wanna get w ppl bc he knows he'll be a slave to love probably.

His fatal flaw is wanting power so love would be a weakness

#lets gooooo selfish monstrosity #redstrewn talks #i can stop caring about things and people SO easily its honestly scary #i was only a little less obsessed w other fandom and characters as i am w touchstarved now. and now? i dont think abt them at all anymore #same w some people. some people i forget exist at all. #my exes? its so scary how once i let go of them i completely let go. like i dont feel anything at all. do i hate them? theres #something to hate w everyone but mostly i just dont CARE #shaking how ppl say the opposite of love is not hate but *indifference.* i am screaming. #vere is a hater thou. maybe he loves TOO much. #tbh maybe vere doesnt get w anyone bc hes scared of being TOO attached #maybe hes scared of being a slave to love bc he will ALWAYS be hungry and NEVER satisfied and he doesnt want to be under #the mercy of something else like that #yeah its probably more of that and not the shit i was projecting onto him lmfao #vere gives me the vibe of someone whos TOO passionate for things #hes fiery like that #hes too passionate he knows not to care abt people or else it will consume him. or something.

[todayisafridaynight]

uhhh something something 'the only time a yakuza should laugh with his teeth is when he's with family or in trouble' something something arakawa gradually doing so more and more when hanging around jo something something Uh Oh™️

#arasawa #snap chats #DO WE GET WHAT I MEAN. #im not arguin semantics rn just listen to me im gripping you by the shoulders reader #it can go either way A.) arakawa gradually seeing jo as a part of his persoanl family opposed to The General Family #B.) you know how in fanfics theres that 'Oh. /Oh./' trope Yeah. i want big man to realize he's a lil doki doki for one of his guys #why the fuck i frame it like these arent in the same vein I CANNOT THINKKKKKK STRAAAIGHT #BUT NOOOO LISTEEENNNN i know bro would be SOOO conflicted. dare i say... he'd be in trouble SEE DO WE SEE WHAT IMEA #ok you can stop looking at me. im delirious. insane. delulu. its cause i cant draw rn its hard and my head hurts #ive been struggling with this idea for. WEEKS. i CANNOT find a way to make a comic out of it and its making me loco and mad #so im just throwing it out into the ether as Free Real Estate if anyone else wants a crack at it. or yk just so i can share it #LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING HERE I KNOW THERE IS I AM BRUSHING IT WITH MY FINGERTIPS BUT I CANNOT GRAB IT #you know it fuckin bad when i actually make a text post about it thats how you know Im At My Limit #driving me insane....... i just need everyone to know im rotating them like SSBB trophies.... #anyway. yeah youre right i still havent drawn shit #UUUGGGHHHHH should... or shold i sleep.... #let me try to force myself to sketch something and then ill run to my car and sleep there or somethin #idk. anyway bye i love the old people

[caffeinatedopossum]

I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.

It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.

#opossums chronic illness rants #seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try #its probably a combination of a lot of different things #like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse #along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia #the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently) #im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else #but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories #when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever #take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself #which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears #and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime #im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment #all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again #it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt #like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal #idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess? #im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do #its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal #since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out #until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me #apparently its very hard to find anyom #who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me #they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess

[jessiesjaded]

It really is that thing where if you don't have some kind of persistent chronic health issue which you almost never get actual useful help for but you still constantly have to see doctors about that you will never really comprehend how tiring and frustrating it is. Like you can be the most sympathetic person in the world but if you don't live it you will never really understand it.

#like i was complaining to my mum and i know she means well and everything #and shes sympathetic but she just doesnt get it #'well go to a different doctor' i have. i have been to 10 different doctors. none of then have helped me. #'we will find a specialist' there are no specialists in our entire region #i know this bc i have looked for then #i have to go over an hour away and spend fuck knows how much to see one #the one i did see was no help to me at all #he did however prescribe me 12x the normal dose of a medication i ended up not supposed to be on #thats what my history looks like #so dont give me the 'find someone else do something else try something else' #bc the people in charge who hold all the power will not let me #theres no one else to find theres fuck all else to do you just dont get it

[pardonmystardust]

Starting to teach myself that feeling bad about getting too much/wasting food is not a reason to force myself to eat something that I don't want or need to eat. And it's. Hard.

#should probably tag this as like #food cw #or something i guess #and obv peeps can let me know if theres something else they'd like me to use if i talk about this stuff #but yeah

[lordriddler]

Also as someone who started Balverine Order today and am 142 pages through and knowing myself will probably plough through the rest after work because this story has its teeth in me and I will die for Poxy, I love this book.

If you were looking for a solid book in the Fable verse, definitely try Balverine order. As far as I've read theres no namedropping and theres creatures we haven't delved far into, like pack rats and krakens. And James and Thomas are delightful protaganists.

#let me know if theres something i can say to convince someone else to read this #fable #balverine order #also yes i did get made fun of at work for reading this #and there is a pic of me reading it circulating the work group chat #but not for the reason you think #but because my name is Fable and I have never mentioned where I plucked it from #and then suddenly this book appears #coincidence?? #i think not #also noone knows the video game series because im a weirdo