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stealthnoodle · 11 months

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There Is No Pond but Ice Pond: Let's Play Tears of the Kingdom

Today on Zelda, I briefly meet the Gerudos and proceed to have a normal one

Lol I got another Zelda flashback and this one is all "I sure am a time traveler! You sure are my ancestors! I sure do need to get back to my time before we get another calamity on our hands, haha! Prime Directive? I don't know her"

I made it through the sandstorm (somehow I made it through-ooh-ooh) but Gerudo Town appears to be empty? What fuckery is this

Okay, I found everyone in an underground shelter after paddling around in the sewers and Ascending through a random ceiling. I was immediately jailed, then released, then kicked out on the streets until I put a shirt on:

You CAGE Miette? You cage her nipples like the tigers? Oh! Oh! Jail for Gerudo! Jail for Gerudo for One Thousand Years!

I have endured Unspeakable Oppression and then stood right outside the entrance, making eye contact with the guard, while whipping my shirt right back off

Ganondorf doesn't have to wear a shirt in this flashback when he pretends to swear fealty to Hyrule. >:( This is bullshit

Dude hang on, I'm finding a korok

I have finally done a "find the crystal and bring it back to the shrine" quest, because the one in Satori Mountains was very close to the target. All I had to do was tuck myself up in a little rock passage and rain down arrows upon a hapless Hinox. You know, hero shit

Call me a cartoon monkey because I have yet to encounter a banana trap that I didn't fall for:

The underground beckons. I think this is the last Big Poe statue and it is being very difficult:

Great Plateau, huh? Okay, back up topside, wanderwanderwander, hello, statue, how are you—

are you motherfuckers in cahoots

You want under the water behind the stone wall? I will FIND your under the water behind the stone wall, mark my words

Okay, I'm pretty sure this is it (it's got arrows point at it from all around!), but how do I get under the icy water?

Openings in the rock below: 0

Successful efforts pairing warm pants with warming elixirs and diving in: 0

Successful efforts dunking a goddamn zonai flamethrower in there: 0

Number of times I have startled a cat with an outburst like "SHIT FUCK COCK FUCK": 4

Items dropped in the water to no avail: lots

I am losing my mind. There is no world beyond the ice pond. The secrets of the universe lie in its frigid depths. I am putting on that one Evanescence track that isn't "Bring Me to Life" because it is 2003 I just finished playing Enter the Matrix

"Ice pond" is an anagram for "coed nip," WE'RE COMING FULL CIRCLE BABY

"Noodle you could look this up" ABSOLUTELY NOT, ice pond forbids it

I've thrown a snowball in and it's slowly bouncing off the edges like a 90s DVD screensaver

Ice pond continues to to reject my sacrifices but I have beheld a golden light shining upon the top of Spectacle Rock and I choose to take it as a sign from my fickle frozen god

Ice pond hath led me to a star fragment. All glory be to ice pond

There's also a gleeok up here, but I recognize this as a trick of the infernal warmth. Not today, hot one

This is what that Florence + The Machine song was about

Um, so, I found a much more obvious stone wall while running around the plateau, blew up a stopper of rocks, and unflooded the area around a little stone statue, so, uh, gonna chase that lead up real quick:

Ice pond, in its infinite and ineffable wisdom, has granted me a special dispensation to pursue this quest of throwing four magical eyes into chasms, because ice pond, in its infinite and ineffable wisdom, understands that this is rad as fuck

My soul of course remains the property of ice pond. From ice pond I have come, and to ice pond I shall return. The frozen bosom awaits. Amen.

#stealthnoodle plays loz: tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #if it turns out there's just a korok in there i will lost my ENTIRE SHIT #hi i'm playing this game very much as intended #i'll do another main quest someday #probably #maybe #it depends on what ice pond wants

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the-enzyme · 9 months

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The second half of my June 2023 toy haul is finally here. I also got a Grandista Dimension Sasuke as a b-day gift from my bff. Which was delayed until no-tomorrow (lost in transit? My b-day was back in May!). And the box arrived ruined, to no tomorrow as well. However, I am super grateful, because I was planning on getting a second one to unbox anyway. I would be in tears, was this the only version of this figure I owned, I'm opening this one, so it's no big deal. DX

From Left to right: BanDai Banpresto Sasuke Grandista Dimensions Non-Scale Figure; Attack on Titan Q posket Eren Yeager vol.2 A (Game-prize) Non-Scale Figure; Medicos Entertainment TV Anime "NARUTO Shippuden" New Illustration BIG Acrylic Stand China ver. (2) Sasuke Uchiha; FuRyu Arknights Noodle Stopper SilverAsh Non-Scale Figure; Banpresto Ichiban Kuji Attack on Titan Jiyuu he no Shingeki A Prize Eren Yeager Non-Scale Figure.

I keep finding older Kuji figures recently, that were kind of grails for me at this point. One of them the Eren one in this haul! I am missing quite a few other Kuji figues based on Eren, like the one on the horse. I am scared of finding that one for a decent price and not being able to justify s/h from Japan -- the box looks huge! This one made the box too large, despte it not being that big of a figure. So, I had to split the shipment into two. I was also lucky and got one of the two vol.2 Q Poskets base don him, now I just need "B."

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mysticdragon3md3 · 30 days

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Just watched Jaiden Animations' most recent Japan trip video, and with my own Japan trip next month in mind, I'm so glad I'm not into a lot of popular series. I cannot afford to go feral at every Pokemon, One Piece, and Nintendo shop like she did.😅💸💸💸

Honestly, i haven't been regularly watching anime or reading manga in a long time. So i should be safe. .....Then i looked over to my Nyanko Sensei plushie beside me and remembered, I'm into Natsume Yuujinchou. Natsume Yuujinchou is VERY popular in Japan. They have pop up shops all the time. There is new Nyanko Sensei merch EVERYWHERE. (I keep track of new merch announcements thru the mangaka's Twitter.) Am i doomed? Is my wallet doomed?💸💸💸💸💸🤣

Also, I'll want any little Persona 5 gachapon. Any little Joker, Ryuji, or Morgana trinkets. Is Persona 5 still super popular in Japan?

Or any funny little gachapon i see when i have a moment. Earlier this week i found out there's a set of gachapon cats that look like shrimp! And a set of seals! SEALS!

Now that i think about it, I'll want to grab some random Rement miniatures too . Preferably, one of the Kirby tea time sets.

But I'm going on a guided tour, so i probably won't have much time for geeky shopping anyway.

I just want:

DateSana plushies or Sengoku Basara merch from one of the Capcom stores. (But I could take some historical merch with the Date or Sanada mon, as substitutes.)

Nyanko Sensei merch.

maybe that new Rumiko Takahashi artbook "COLORS 1978-2024" that releases at the end of March 2024. But i can always get artbooks at Kinokuniya Los Angeles, so i dont have to get it during my Japan trip.

Some spring/French barrette styled hairclips. Maybe with some pretty kimono fabric decor.

Rement miniatures, Kirby tea time. But again, I could likely get these at LA's Little Tokyo.

Maybe some random cute gachapon

Maybe some Persona 5 Joker, Ryuji, or Morgana merch

Maybe some Kamen Rider merch. Latter Heisei. I haven't been keeping up with a lot of seasons since then, but I love Kamen Rider 01's suit design.

Whatever Good Smile Company figures i run into. Maybe my first Hello Good Smile. Or some Nendoroid Doll parts, to custom some DMCL and Goldenheart Nendoroid Dolls.

Furyu's seated noodle stopper figure of Persona 5's Joker, but i doubt I'll see it. That released back in 2020.😞 I thought i didn't have to preorder it because "I'm going to Anime Expo by the time it releases; I'll just pick it up there"...then the quarantine lock downs happened.😩

Some nice figure photos---

Omg i forgot to choose a Nendoroid to bring with me on my trip!

I've been thinking of bringing a Nendoroid Swacchao, since i also have the original Nendoroids of all my current Swacchao. i wont have to worry about losing or breaking a Swacchao that is essentially a duplicate of a character already in my collection, safely at home. So i guess I'm bringing either Hinata Shoyo, Shokudaikiri Mitsutada, or Tsurumaru Kuninaga.

Or do i go rogue, and bring one of my original Nendoroid line characters instead?😈✨️ The thing is that big smiles and bishoujo characters make for better travelling figure photos. Hinata has the big smile, but not the super pretty outfit/character design. My Toudans have the super bishounen character designs, but only very slight smiles (unless i risk bringing one of their original Nendoroids' faceplates.) And i haven't been obsessed with Haikyuu or Touken Ranbu in a long time. I might have a better trip if i bring a character who means more to me right now. I wanna share my trip and have photos of whichever character is my favorite right now. ...But there are no FE3H Claude or Dimitri Nendoroids. No Nimona Goldenheart Nendoroids either. 😥

Who do i bring?

#processing thoughts #otaku problems #japan vacation #trips #vacations #tours #figure collecting #figure photography #shopping #lists #figures wishlist #wallet dying

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zalhera · 10 months

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Today was Pile of Loot shipping day.

Arknights noodle stoppers +2. Lappy and ex-wife acquired

Got the 1/7 scale Raildex figure I've been wanting, she's a bit too big for the shelf to close so I had to make room to be able to push her in. Works out, looks like I'm displaying vol 1 cover on purpose lol

Saitama and Tatsumaki were too tall for the shelf that held OPM so they're in chilling in the Naruto shelf with the other tall Naruto fig

OPM shelf gets summer tatsumaki

I'm slowly running out of shelf space. I should reconsider my hobbies.

#zal's life #loot haul

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poxei · 3 years

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my tiny figure collection is growing!!

rei is the first figure i ever got, and i still like her but kind of regret getting her instead of asuka because rei’s pose is so boring. she’s literally 🧍

i got oikawa and kageyama when i was in my haikyuu phase and big into oikage, but i dropped oikawa on his head and lost the top half of his volleyball forever :(

i got joker and akechi last summer when i was going through P5R. they’re noodle stoppers, but i never use them to keep my cup noodles sealed, and instead they sit on top of my lamp next to each bc they’re dating ^_^

i got the little cookie run figures when i went to an official cookie run event and they were free?! they’re so cute and im glad i got the ones i liked since they were blind boxes.

sasuke is the most recent one, and is definitely the most expensive but also biggest and nicest quality figure i have so far. im also gonna get gaara soon hopefully. i really want a naruto to complete the sasunarugaa but there are no good scale figures of him on preorder : ( so i will settle for a lookup figure of him

if i were rich i’d buy anime figures without feeling guilty ^_T right now i can only justify splurging on figures for my ships and characters im obsessed with ... there are some insanely nice figures of characters that i like but im not obsessed with, and if i had money i’d buy those too, like the kirigiri and chiaki scale figures. also i know they have official draco and harry nendoroids but im not really fond of nendoroids so no buy..... saves my wallet though

also im glad im an adult now and i can spend my own money on sasuke. when i got oikawa and kageyama, i was in high school and didn’t have money of my own, so i begged my dad to get them for me and he was probably like wtf but got them for me anyways

if anyone has a figure collection please show it off to me i wanna see!! i always enjoy looking at people’s collections fhjhjsdf

#using my blog as an actual blog #move to trash #literally no one cares but whatever

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semelocciditbrevislux · 2 years

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Music lives inside my legs. It’s coming out when I talk. I’m going to send my valentines to people you don’t even know. Oatmeal cookies make my throat gallop. Grown-ups keep their feet on the ground when they swing. I hate that. Look at those 2 o’s with a smash in the middle— that spells good-bye. Don’t ever say “purpose” again, let’s throw the word out. Don’t talk big to me. I’m carrying my box of faces. If I want to change faces I will. Yesterday faded but tomorrow’s in boldface. When I grow up my old names will live in the house where we live now. I’ll come and visit them. Only one of my eyes is tired. The other eye and my body aren’t. Is it true all metal was liquid first? Does that mean if we bought our car earlier they could have served it in a cup? There’s a stopper in my arm that’s not going to let me grow any bigger. I’ll be like this always, small. And I will be deep water too. Wait. Just wait. How deep is the river? Would it cover the tallest man with his hands in the air? Your head is a souvenir. When you were in New York I could see you in real life walking in my mind. I’ll invite a bee to live in your shoe. What if you found your shoe full of honey? What if the clock said 6:92 instead of 6:30? Would you be scared? My tongue is the car wash for the spoon. Can noodles swim? My toes are dictionaries. Do you need any words? From now on I’ll only drink white milk on January 26. What does minus mean? I never want to minus you. Just think—no one has ever seen inside this peanut before! It is hard being a person. I do and don’t love you— isn't that happiness?

#Poetry #Deep water #Broken

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tomdiddlyumptious · 3 years

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Can u do a Tom Holland x black model reader

And she’s zendayas friend and she introduces Tom to her and they hit it off he ends up seeing her outside they have a sentimental talk about what it’s like being famous and they end up kissing maybe smut at the end and they wake up the morning after 😩😩😫

I MIGHTVE GOTTEN....YA KNOW TAKEN AWAY BUTTTTT

warnings: terrible fans, sadness, annoying papis, and I guess heavy smut but idk 🤷🏽‍♀️ NOT PROOFREAD, PROBABLY TERRIBLE ✌🏽

a/n: REEEEE I HATE MYSELF

You sighed as she grabbed your hand, pulling you, “look you have nothing better to do, so you do this or keep watching re-runs of Harry Potter and trying to shift, which isn’t gonna work” she rolled her eyes at the idea, looking at your scrunched up face.

“Well whatever, so much for getting a spell book” you huffed in loss, zendaya laughing at you as she let your hand go and opened the door “for my princess please” she dramatically said, her hand pointing inside the restaurant.

“We couldn’t have taken a walk-“ “y/n shut up and sit down please” you giggled as you walked slower to let her infront of you and guide you to a seat, next to her but also next to a nice, brown haired, of course skinny lean white boy.

And how did you know that? You checked him out without hesitation. As you looked back up at him you found himself with a cocky ass smirk. “Don’t flatter yourself” you chuckled only leaving him doing the same.

“Hey a pretty girl like you how could I not?” His hand lifted and ruffled his hair some, leaving you with a smile. “We all know who we are right?” Daya said, not wanting to introduce anybody when your all basically famous. “Yes?” The group said.

You knew Tom of course but not officially, your brother made you watch Spider-Man because he’s two years older then you and loves to debate that tobey Maguire is the best, which you have to agree, its only by the way he swings. Your brother also thinks tobey can play Batman but he is like 46, he will have a heart attack.

As you all ordered your meals and passed around plates Harrison and Jacob talked, zendaya and her brother talked, which left you and Tom.

“Hi I’m tom” he said, lifting his hands wanting a handshake, orrr possibly a hug, what’s the damage?. “Well hello Tom, my name is Y/n” you said, taking his hand in yours, also noticing you can’t even shake his hand because of his hand size, it basically devoured your whole hand. Tom chuckled as he looked at your small fingers.

“Compare?” He asked, “oh what are we in fourth grade?” You giggled but agreed, he put his hand up flat and open and you did the same, touching hands you noticed your hand was small, or his hand was big, who knows. “I should call you robin!” He chuckled.

“You are really a child, teen titans really?” You bursted into laughter but only Tom could really hear. “Hey I have to do something to keep me satisfied right?” He shrugged, “and tough talked for a woman with small hands”.

You playfully gasped as you hit his shoulder “no you just have large hands, above average, so leave me alone, and tough talk for a guy who’s 5’8, my brother was that height at like 14” he only left his mouth open as you laughed, his eyebrows raised as he said “touché, but you’ve been doing some research on me havent you?”.

“Eh, something like that” you shrugged, getting chopsticks and trying to set it up but failing, of course Tom hysterically laughed at you “fuckin chopsticks” you mumbled to yourself, still trying to get them in between your fingers but utterly confused.

“Here darling, let me help you yeah?” Tom said in his slick British accent,

leaving your stomach to drop to your ass but you agreed, forgetting what he was helping you with.

He took your hand softly and fixed it, staring at him in awe before-

snap

You both looked over and seen a photographer running away, leaving Tom pissed but you could only laugh. Everyone around the table noticed and started to feel bad about being “famous” because it does take away your private life.

As they all looked at you both you continued laughing, leaving them all confused “did you see the way he ran?” You only busted out laughing more as Tom could still see him, looking at the way he does run and starts laughing after.

“Your right!” Everyone starts to catch on as zendaya pulls out her phone to record him, putting it on her instagram story with text of “running to his casket” (I KNOW THIS IS MEAN BUT I COULDNT HELP IT)

As you all as a group ate your food, well you ordered a fork, and talked you all giggled, and got to know more about each other, when he found out you were a model he only smiled more because, you deserve to be one, your beautiful in so many ways anyone could see that, not just Tom holland.

You cracked open the cookie and grabbed the paper “I wanna see!” Tom said, scooting closer and resting his head on your shoulder as you read it “hop on a ride but you won’t go outside, lucky numbers 11,9,10,20” tom furrowed his eyebrows, “I don’t get it” he whispered in your neck, platonically. But he got your sweet spot so you bit your tongue some. “What makes you think I do? You do yours!”

He sat back up straight and grabbed his, opening it. “Hmm, take your time, try to wine and dine, same lucky numbers as you” he looked at you while your lower lip was puckering out, confused but not gonna stress yourself out about it.

“Aren’t they just beautiful” daya quietly said, recording it and putting it on her Snapchat instead. Harrison agreed as they all started at both of you but you didn’t take any sense to notice.

“Who’s paying?” Tom said. “Split” you say back, everyone taking out their credit card and placing it in the middle.

About two days later you went out for shopping, mostly for yourself but you did think about buying daya matching Harry Potter mugs.

You looked at Victoria secret, looking at all the options you could get, but you got white lingerie, lacy white lingerie. You had about 3 bags in your hands, all clothes as you found yourself hungry, you checked the time and noticed it was about five thirty but daylight saving so it was darker then usual.

You found yourself at a Chinese place at the food court, ordering what you wanted as your phone blew up from the events of yesterday. “Y/n?” You heard a familiar voice, you turned to see-

“Thomas?” You smiled at him as he smiled back, coming up close and seeing ‘foot locker’ and ‘Nike’ bags in his hand. “Hey!” He came over and reached out for a hug which you accepted, and you smelled so good, like no one else. He knew once they started to publicly date he would have to point out that you have this magnificent smell.

“Hey babe how are you?” You ask looking at him, letting him go as his hands were still on your arms. “My phone won’t stop blowing up” he sighed and rolled his eyes “eh same here” “what are you doing?” He asked, you pointed at the title of the food place “Chinese food” “your trying again aren’t you?” “You know what- shut up” you laughed making him join along.

He decided to join you at one of the tables, both with hats on and black tinted sunglasses. “This is humiliating” you sighed, playing with the noodles. “What?” He asked looking up at you. “I shouldnt really have to hide because I just want to eat alone” you let out a distant chuckle and let the food alone, looking at the table.

“Yeah I know it does suck, but atleast we have killer fans right!” “Yeah but then they want to turn on you because you wanna make a point or a decision for yourself” he only sighed in defeat at your point, nodding in agreement. “I mean I guess it’s what we signed up for” “I just really want to do what I love but then there’s the pros and cons, people loving my body and people hating my body, telling me I should lose weight and that I should just kill myself-“

“Well you shouldn’t, people tried to cancel me because I didn’t vote? I can’t!” He grabbed your hand and that made you look at him “and your beautiful, so beautiful, don’t take only my word but everyone else’s, and whoever is telling you to kill yourself has a problem with their body image, they want to be you!” He gave you a smile, you gave a weak one back. “Hey love, darling, trust me. There’s a lot of people out there that support you! Why do paparazzi want to take photos of you? To let everyone know hoe your doing at the moment!”

“That wasn’t a good one Thomas” you laughed which made him giggle, he reached over and let go of your hand and places his thumb on your chin, the coldness of his ring on his pointer finger as it’s under your chin.

“Your really fucking beautiful, princess, fame is annoying celebrity is a annoying word but guess what? Isn’t it worth it?” “Yeah I guess, because I met you” you smirk, he tilts your head up and looks at your lips, looking at your eyes for approval and you nod your head.

He presses his lips on yours, pulling you closer as he wants to climb over the table and just take you there, his lips on your soft delicate ones is heaven, feeling your hand raise up to his cheek as you let go for a longer one-

“Hey get out of here! It’s like 7, stop sharing your cootie germs!” The janitor says with his strong Indian accent which makes you both laugh while your lips are still pressed together.

“Hey I really mean it!” You both let go as he shouts a thank you and you didn’t even notice it was that dark, he didn’t either. “Wanna get out of here?” He asked, you nodded as you both grabbed your bags and threw away your food.

You both couldn’t keep your lips off of each other, he slammed you against the apartment door, leaving you to moan as he focused on your neck, grabbing the key from his poket and shoving it in the door, opening it as he twisted to nob you fell and he feel ontop of you, well on your stomach.

You both laughed out of breath as he got up to close the door, thankfully there was a door stopper that didn’t allow a mark on the wall, he came back down and helped you up, taking the bags from your hand and throwing it on the couch, the boxes of shoes falling out of the bag and on the floor.

You quickly took off your clothes, leaving you in your underwear with Tom just admired you, your sweet brown skin just shinning of cocoa butter lotion and body oil, smelling so intoxicating as he walked up to you, his hand softly placed on your waist as he whispered in your ear “help me” you giggled and unbuckled his pants while he unbuttoned his shirt, quickly only in his-

“Really? Spider-Man? Your such a narcissist” “your ruining the moment” “whatever kiddo” he took your hand and ran into the room, falling on the bed from the jeans around his ankles, you got comfy on the queen bed with the silky black sheets and blanket, your legs open waiting for him as he kicked off his jeans.

He looked at you and your legs, crawling over to kiss your shins up to your thighs, his lips so soft on your skin as if he doesn’t want to break it.

“You such a pretty girl” he purred, kissing up to your stomach, to the middle of your breasts to you neck. “Touch me please tommy” you sighed in relief as he went down to your underwear, pressing your clit and trailing down to see you soaked. “I’ve barely touched you princess, do I make you wet like this?” He talks mostly to himself, not expecting an answer but you do “yes you do, fuck you make me so wet tom, watching your hands move, you mouth-“

“My mouth huh? What do you want me to do princess? Eat you out? Make you come then I fuck you and don’t miss a beat? Make everyone hear my good girl?” He asked, making you moan at the scenarios “I want to you to be on top of me, I want to you fuck yourself on my dick until you make me whine” he comes up to your ear and whispers “which I don’t do”, you whimper as he unclamped your bra, the cold ring and Rolex on your back as he gets it off.

You smile as he just stares, reaching down and taking a nipple in his mouth, moaning as he punches the other. “Fuck Thomas your really good” “shh now, remember what I want you to do f’me okay?” He asked looking up at you, you nodded as he reached down in between your thighs, pushing the underwear to the side.

He puts a finger inbetween your folds, his fingers rather warm and he rubs right over your whole while he continues to kiss and leave hickeys around your neck and inbetween your breasts.

He pushes in his finger and you let out a whimper, his fingers way bigger then your own “your so tight around my finger, fuck your gonna feel so good around my cock, just let me make you come first” you nod at him and give him a open mouth kiss as he goes down, taking off your panties and lifting your thighs and putting them inbetween his head.

He pumps is finger in you slowly, my the third time you suddenly let out a “oh” as your breathe starts to get heavy, “don’t give up now darling” “get to work and I’ll see what I can do for-“ you moan as he wraps his lips around your clit, kitty licking.

“Don’t talk down on me, darling” he says, before adding another finger, his long slender fingers finding your spot as he rubs over it, shaking his head from side to side around your bundle of nerves, your legs raise into a butterfly just asking for more.

Your hands reach down to his hair and you pull it, ruffle it and whimper as his fingers press hard on your spot “ah!” You let out a high pitched moan, he makes eye contact with you as his tongue continues to run miles, infinity signs, even his own full name on you “I’m so close” you whimper, he already knew by how much you were clenching around him, he sped up his movements, licking the slide of your clit, bucking your hips and pulling his hair making him moan on you, high pitch moans, the sounds of his fingers in your wet slopping whole is just enough to make you come, “Aw please! Fuck tommy!” Your eyes roll back as you cum, your back arching more as your fluids let loose and your stomach a pit of fire.

“You tase so good, Mmm” he licks you clean, savoring your tase as he licks his lips and comes up to kiss you, sharing tongues and humming at the taste on his lips.

And it was your time for the deal, he turned you both so you were on top. His hands already behind his head as he enjoyed the view already, you grabbed his member and pumped it a few times making him groan, you swiped him between your folds and cried at the overstimulation.

“Fuck y/n” he moaned feeling of your wetness looking down and seeing his spit and your arousal connected to the tip of his member, you both moaned at the feeling of his member getting in you so slowly.

You started to move your hips against his, seeing him so comfortable and watching every single move you make could make you come right there, you started to bounce and you sat up straight, moaning as Tom took a hand of his and licked his thumb to roll your nipple “faster” he said, as you did it.

“Fuck tommy your so good” “oh no it’s you babygirl, fucking yourself on my dick like I told you to, I don’t have to do any-“ he groaned “work, your such a good girl, my princess” he praised making you whimper and lean down. In this moment he could stay there forever, your ass on display as you bounced your whimpers in his neck right on his sweet spot. “Shit y/n”he moaned, letting his hands go to your ass and lift his legs to thrust into you, “no tommy” you say weakly, pushing his legs down “I get to fuck myself on you like you said” you hit back a moan.

“I did princess- fuck” he let out an ‘uh’ as you clenched around him, his eyebrows furrowed as his mouth opened, you leaned back up to kiss his neck, his sweet spot and made hickeys with no hesitation. You moved faster and placed your hands in his chest and hearing your ass on his thighs, the slickness coating all over his member and trailing down his thighs “fuck!” You come, “don’t stop-please! Don’t stop” he practically begged, thats more than a whine and you were willing to take it, it was all so good, so good.

His hands left your ass and went up to your neck, looking down at his darkened eyes as he bit his lip “fucking yourself so good on my dick, fuck!” He came and shot his load up you “yes Tom!” You whimpered and arched your back coming with him. He painted your walls as you ride it out, him massaging your thighs and biting his lip as he watched his cum trail down your thighs and on his dick.

“You tired?” You asked, throwing yourself over, he looked over “yeah” he reached over to kiss you and wrap his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest, he turned off the light on his night stand as you lifted your leg over his thigh, both on the left side of the bed and taking in each other, drawing patterns in his chest. “So does this mean-“ “yeah of course”

You woke up in the same spot, looking up at Thomas and finding him already looking at you. “Hey princess” he smiled, taking his arm and drawing circles on yours. “Hey bubs” you kissed his chest. You only admired each other before having to clean each other up, sharing a shower, nothing happened but giggles and soft rubs on the butt, of course until you put on the lingerie that you bought yesterday.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland au #jb writes

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dumbwaystodeviate · 4 years

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Oh, I got one! You know how Connor have puppy eyes? Maybe in a reverse au, Hank deviates because he's faced with his human disaster's secret weapon, aka puppy eyes!

Hank had long since been aware that that dealing with humans, especially in the DPD, would come with many challenges and frustrations. Some were easier to handle, mostly being verbal but with no deviancy to speak of it was pointless, and some were three raccoons in a trench coat. Like that GV that was more than feral.

It goes without saying that after all of that the android had hoped that his partner wouldn’t be a problem, he was a lieutenant after all. And yet here he was, every other day having to drag Lt. Stern home to make him go to bed or go eat instead of work all the time. He had heard the phrase ‘like herding cats’ and he think this was the closest he’s gotten. He knows for a fact the Captain had tried sending him home many times, and he was baffled as to how it didn’t work.

This week seemed to be one of the worse ones, prompting Hank to just bring the man a healthy lunch instead of dragging him out of his seat. Honestly he thought it better anyway. When did he become a sitter?

“Lieutenant, you should eat. It won’t do you any good if you don’t.” His voice was followed by the thump of a plastic container on the human’s desk, having had the foresight to make make something in advanced.

For the moment, Connor ignored him, typing away at his terminal like the world didn’t exist and it wasn’t coming back until he finished. But his quite focus was broken by the sight of plastic fingers on his monitor.

“If you do not eat, I will be forced to disable this until you do.” Hank was not putting up with Connor’s shit.

It earned him a glare, Connor possibly thinking he can intimidate Hank off to let him work as he tried to push the container back to the HK. “I can eat later, I got another five files to get through.”

He didn’t get it moved far before the androids bear paw of a hand stopped him, pushing it back in front of him. “Eat. Work is going nowhere. However it will be if inaccessible you don’t.”

The Lieutenant seemed to realise he wasn’t going to win this, sighing as he scooted back his seat and took the box to eat. Not before throwing another glare at Hank for it though. Whatever, the HK knew damn well he was helping.

The week of over working was coming to a head when, during a drive back to Connor’s home, the idiot human nearly fell asleep at the wheel. Hank might not have been so worried if the twink didn’t have a love of a old manual car, which made the whole thing a pump stopper. Thankfully they made it in one piece and the HK manages to get the man inside.

Then Connor went to try and work. Again. He didn’t manage to get very far before Hank all but snatched the tablet and laptop up, putting them up as high as he could. Which the human cursed loudly about because it was NOT fair that Hank was that tall and could do that.

“No more work. You need food and rest.” He could see Connor about to protest, cutting him off with a hard glare. “If you try I will be forced to disable them.”

“I know how to reboot a-”

“And I will have Collin help me do it.” The Android knew damn well what was on his human’s laptop, his brother getting it would be a disaster and the thought of that alone was enough to shut him up.

Hank didn’t care for being so hard on the man but it was a necessary evil.

He knew he had won when Connor sighed, flopping down on the couch. “Can I at least have my fire noodles for dinner?”

“Lieutenant, you need something substantial. You can’t live off of instant noodles.” It wasn’t the first time he had this argument, Connor really did have a habit of eating poorly.

Unlike all other times, however, Connor didn’t glare at him. In fact he seemed thoughtful. It was odd, Hank had expected more of a fight from him about his favorite food but he got nothing. Perhaps he was getting it through his thick head.

And then he crawled up on the couch, perching over the chair arm as he leaned up as far as he could go. Close enough that Hank could see the glow of his yellow led reflect off them big brown deer eyes he was caught in. “Please, Hank? It’s my favorite and it makes me very happy and warm.”

Good god the man was the of begging puppy. Eyes he almost only ever saw glaring as wide as can be, the little pout just barely sticking out. The HK heard from Niles that Connor had a ‘wicked puppy face’ but this was a bit much. He almost felt bad, no scratch that he did feel bad. He looked so sad at the thought of not being able to have the spicy food, and the android couldn’t bring himself to look away.

Logically, as dictated by his coding to keep the man healthy for work, he knew he should tell the human to shove it and make something good to eat. On the other hand as he looked through a haze of red he just couldn’t bring himself to make the human upset, not like this.

Resolve breaking like the fickle coding he figured what could it hurt? Connor had been working so hard all week and deserved something nice. Shoulders slumping, his led spun back to blue. “Fine, but just for tonight. But you have to actually eat proper in the morning, got it?”

Maybe it would be ok this time, and the big brown eyes of the happy puppy of a human were worth it.

#Dbh Hank #Dbh Connor #dumb ways to deviate #prompt fill #ninegeddon #It's getting hard to be creative #Lmao my brain is a truck engine on fire 24 7

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airisu7425 · 4 years

Photo

If you wanted to have these awesome noodle stoppers (like me), just head over to Big in Japan and preorder them.

Lio Fotia (out in September 2020)

Galo Thymos (out in August 2020)

InuYasha (out in August 2020)

Don’t worry, you are only charge you 1 week before shipping, so you have time to save up for them. ;)

(And of course, I won’t use them as noodle stoppers, but they will sit at the edge of my shelf ♥)

#promare #galio #galolio #lio fotia #galo thymos #inuyasha #official merchandise #preorder #biginjap #big in japan #they are really trustworthy

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redwoodoriginalfirstnine · 5 years

Text

Start At The Beginning [Happy Lowman]

Chapter Three

Prompt: He smiles and it’s like falling in love all over again.

Rating: SFW

Warnings: Fluffy AF like normal and per usual i’m domesticating Happy Lowman.

Notes: italics is a flashback of sorts to when they met and fell in love. But it’s a “fairytale” for the kids.

—-

With a cheery smile [Y/N] puts the finishing touches on the girls lunches which includes big goofy smiley faces on the paper bags. Before she can get a single word out of her mouth two half dressed munchkins come bounding around the corner being chased by a very exasperated Happy. In a flash [Y/N] scoops up Lei before she can scamper away yet again and places her on the counter in front of her.

“No fair momma!” Lei cries out as [Y/N] begins readjusting the tiny garments hanging off of her tiny frame. Out of the corner of her eye she spies Happy wrangle Cora and do the same and just in time as the preschool bus stops outside and begins honking.

“All right ladies, grab your backpacks and lets get this day started!” [Y/N] chirps happily as she sets Lei down on the ground before grabbing their lunches and heading towards the front door. “If you hurry I’ll see if I can maybe add some ice cream into supper tonight!”

[Y/N]’s bargaining chips seems to kick the girls into high gear because they come bouncing after her. A lunch bag is exchanged for a kiss and then they are out the door and onto the bus. She makes sure the bus is far away from the house before closing the door and retreating back into the kitchen searching for Happy. Upon entering the kitchen she finds him draped over the counter munching on some leftover waffles.

“They have your energy,” Happy mumbles as she comes to a stop in front of him, “I don’t understand how you do it everyday.”

[Y/N] let's out a deep sigh and pries the half eaten waffle out of Happy’s hand before taking a bite out it herself, “lots and lots of coffee, a huge helping of you.”

“Oh?” Happy questions as he pushes himself up and off of the counter, slowly slinking around so that he’s now standing behind [Y/N]. He gently brushes her hair away from her neck and shoulder before placing a few butterfly kisses along the exposed skin. For a split second [Y/N] slips into the moment, her eyes flutter shut and she grinds her ass against his crotch.

“Baby, as much as I’d like to get lost in a world of pure ecstasy right now if we don’t get going, we’re both gonna be late.” [Y/N] mumbles out as she tries desperately to clutch at something, anything to keep herself from jumping Happy. “Don’t want to piss off Chibs.”

Happy grumbles unhappily but places a loving kiss on her forehead, “I’ll see you tonight, love you.”

“Love you to, be careful out there.” [Y/N] replies with a smile as she watches Happy pick up his kutte and walk out the back door. From where she’s standing at the kitchen counter she can hear the motorcycle roar to life in the garage and then quickly fade down the highway. Her [e/c] eyes dance over to the clock hanging above the dining table before bugging at the time displayed there.

[Y/N] picks up her own bag and quickly runs back through the house double checking that everything is situated and turned off. With one final look she exits the house, locks it up tight and climbs into her car ready to get the day started so that it flies by and she can come home to her family. After clocking out [Y/N] heads to the parking garage and while waiting for the elevator she fishes her phone out and scrolls through her contacts until she reaches Happy’s number. As soon as the cursor highlights his name she hits call and places the phone up against her ear, she listens to the ringing until the elevator comes to a stop. Just before she steps onto the elevator her phone call is forwarded to his voicemail, [Y/N] doesn’t leave a message instead she ends the call.

The whole ride down to the garage and the drive home was a bit taxing, she knows what Happy does for the club and how dangerous it is, but there are times were her mid runs rampant. She worries that he won’t come home ever, of if something does happen and he does come home she worries that he won’t be whole. So as soon as she comes to a stop outside of the garage she puts the car in park and tries to call Happy once more only to be yet again sent to voicemail. To calm herself down [Y/N] sucks in a deep breath and slowly lets it out, her hands tighten and untighten around the steering wheel. A sudden honk stirs her from her thoughts and she climbs out of the car to see the bus slowly creeping to a stop at the end of the driveway and when the doors open her two hooligans come rushing forth.

“Momma, momma! Look what we did today.” Lei shouts as they come running over to where she’s standing huge pieces of construction paper flopping behind each of the girls.

“Oh! Let me see!” [Y/N] chirps as she squats down in front of them ready to inspect whatever they’re toting.

“We made pictures of our family with noodles.” Cora states as she whips her picture around to show [Y/N].

The moment her eyes land on the two pictures all of the previous worries she had are temporarily wiped away, “These are absolutely beautiful! How about we hang them both on the refrigerator so that everyone can see them.”

“Yeah! Let's do that momma!” Lei cheers as [Y/N] takes their tiny hands and leads them into the house. Once inside she helps them pull off their backpacks and happily takes their artwork as they climb up onto a couple of barstools at the island. She listens to the two of them bicker over the last banana while hanging up their stunning artwork, once they’re secured to the fridge she spins around and pulls the piece of fruit from their grabby hands. Of course they object but [Y/N] holds up a finger urging them to wait until she peels and splits the banana in half, happily she passes them an equal piece while contemplating what to cook for dinner.

[Y/N] ushers the girls into the living room once they finish their snack and once they’re comfortable on the couch she surfs through their approved TV shows. She settles on spongebob and leaves the girls to their show in order to do a little tidying to keep herself busy, but for a brief moment the thoughts from earlier come flooding back. With a quick look over her shoulder she makes sure the girls are still entertained before sneaking off into the laundry room with her cell phone tightly clasped in her hand. The moment she finds Happy’s number she hits the green call button once more, she places the phone to her ear just as it starts ringing and ringing and it’s eventually sent to voicemail.

Fear courses through her, but [Y/N] forces it down deep inside and exits the laundry room to check on the girls who are deeply invested in their show. [Y/N] tucks her phone into her pants pocket before turning her attention towards cooking dinner which will hopefully keep her mind busy. She works diligently and before she realizes it an hour has passed and for a brief moment she steps away from the stove and into the living room where she finds the girls playing with a few of their toys in the floor. Happy with what she sees, [Y/N] returns to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on supper before moving the steaming dishes to the kitchen table.

[Y/N] pulls four plates down from the cabinet and four matching pieces of silverware and sets the table hoping that Happy will walk through the door at any moment. “Girls, dinner is ready but make sure you wash your hands first okay?”

“Okay momma!” They chime in unison before running down the hallway to the bathroom where she can hear them laughing and the water running. Satisfied that they are getting ready she returns to the kitchen table and sets the plates down and just as she turns back around to grab some cups the girls come running into the dining room.

“Easy, easy who wants juice?” [Y/N] asks as she opens the door of the refrigerator.

“I want juice!” Lei shouts as she clambers up onto her chair.

“Can I have milk momma?” Cora asks as she follows suit.

“Of course you can baby.” she replies as she pulls both jugs out of the fridge closing the door with her foot, “would you like to pour your own drinks tonight?”

The girls nod and take the jugs while [Y/N] sits down across from them, her eyes never leave them ready to jump in when needed. Of course neither of them have any trouble and she turns her attention to portioning out the food so that they get a little of everything. Supper flies by and once the girls are done eating they clear their dishes from the table and place them in the sink and before [Y/N] can stand up from the table they whisk her dishes away as well.

“Thank you for your help, you guys ready to take your bath?” She questions with a smile as the two of them grab her hands.

“Yes! Will you tell us more of the story?” Lei asks as they pull her down the hallway.

[Y/N] laughs softly, “Of course now go pick out your pajamas and meet me back in the bathroom. Hurry or i’ll forget!”

The girls take off and she slips into the bathroom to get the bath started, after adding the stopper she adjusts the water to the right temperature and adds just a small hint of bubble bath. Behind her she can hear the girls laughing and joking and out of the corner of her eye she can see school clothes flying every which way. She barely has time to step out of the way before the girls rush the tub and settle in quitely for a change which is a bit shocking.

“You two must really want me to continue this story.” [Y/N] states as she kneels down in front of them ready to wash their hair as they eagerly nod, “okay, now where did daddy leave off?”

“Refill ma’am?” the waitress asks for the third time within the last thirty minutes. [Y/N] glances up from the coffee cup centered between her hands and shakes her head no, the waitress understands and slinks back off to the counter to take care of the other customers. She scans the small diner once more just to make sure he didn’t sit anywhere else before downing the rest of the coffee. Before sliding out of the booth she digs out a ten dollar bill and lays it on the table knowing that it’ll cover the bill, she flashes the waitress a small smile before stepping out into the chilly night air.

[Y/N] looks up and down the street just to make sure that Happy wasn’t legitimately pulling up at that moment, but unfortunately there was no sign of him. She pulls her jacket a little tighter around her and pulls out her car keys, anger slowly creeping up into her chest over the fact that Happy had the audacity to stand her up. The man could have at least called her to let her know that he was going to be a few hours late, but no he couldn’t even do that. As she nears her car she unlocks the doors and quickly climbs in and wastes no time cranking it up and speeding off, the anger slowly turning into hurt which slips into her bawling on her way home. Once she’s home [Y/N] remains in her car for some time wiping away the stray tears lingering on her cheeks, her mind racing to understand why she was stood up.

It’s not until a chill runs up her spine that [Y/N] pulls herself together and exits her car ready for a yet another scalding shower, a bottle of wine and some reruns of whatever the fuck is on TV. After her shower she pulls on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of panties ready to just crash on the couch, but before she can get settled she searches her pantry for the right bottle of wine. From where she’s standing she can hear her phone chirp, but she ignores it and pulls a bottle of the shelf studying it as yet another chirp comes through. Before she can even get over to the cabinet where the wine glasses are stored her phone actually starts ringing, so she stops, contemplates ignoring it but looks at it anyway. There flashing on the caller ID is the one persons name she doesn’t want to talk to at the moment, Happy.

She almost wants to hit the silent button, but before she can her body betrays herself and she answers the phone, “Hello?”

“Open the door.” Happy mumbles through the phone, “please.”

“And why in the hell would I do that?” [Y/N] retorts, her anger spilling forth ever so slightly.

“Just open the door [Y/N],” He states more firmly while rapping his fist against the front door letting her know where he is. A part of her wants to end the phone call and slink off to her room, but the other half folds and her feet carry her towards the front door.

Before opening the door she pulls the phone away from her ear and ends the call, even then she hesitates until Happy knocks once more. Once she’s unlocked the door [Y/N] only opens it just enough to see outside and then Happy's face appears before her own.

“What? Can’t you see that i’m oh so busy?” [Y/N] snarks as her [e/c] eyes find his and quickly dart away trying to focus on something else.

“I’m sorry.” Happy states as he wedges his left foot between the door and door jam so that [Y/N] can’t slam it in his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, i’m sorry I stood you up and i’m sorry I made you cry.”

His apology catches [Y/N] off guard and she opens the door up a little more, “come again?”

“I said i’m sorry for all of the shitty things I did today, it won’t happen again.” Happy states softly, his normally emotionless face giving away oh so much.

[Y/N] scoffs while folding her arms over her chest, the door completely forgotten about, “look, I get that the club comes first-know that all too well, but i’m not some crow eater that you can show interest in and then bail.”

Happy stands up a little straighter and takes a step forward their chests almost touching, “I’d never… Would you be willing to give me a second chance?”

[Y/N] sucks in a ragged breath and slowly lets it out as butterflies erupt in her stomach, “You’re damn lucky I really, really like you. But! But, I don’t give second chances all willy-nilly Happy, i’ve been hurt to many times before.”

“Then i’ll happily make the most out of this and there will be no need for any more chances.” Happy replies softly while reaching out and gently touching her upper arm, “where’d you snag that shirt?”

Once again she’s caught off guard by him and she quickly looks down at her shirt and realizes that it’s a gray Samcro shirt that she may or may not have stolen from one of the guys rooms. That particular room may or may not have been inhabited by the man standing in front of her at the she decided to sticky finger it.

She clears her throat as her cheeks begin to turn read and heat up trying desperately to hide everything, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Well, it looks damn good on you.” Happy replies as he takes a step back, a mischievous grin making its way onto his face, “you should wear it more often.”

“Y-yeah?” [Y/N] questions as she nervously picks at the shirt. Happy nods yes as he slowly backs down the porch and onto the sidewalk, but she doesn’t let him get too far away before giving in, “Want to come in? I think I have some beer in the fridge and i’ve got plenty of movies that I need to watch.”

For a split moment it seems like Happy is going to take her up on the offer, but at the last minute he shakes his head no, “As much as I’d love to, I don’t want rush anything and potentially mess it up. But, I will see you tomorrow night at the diner at seven PM on the dot.”

“You’d better not be late Lowman and if for some reason you are for the love of God just call me.” [Y/N] states as she leans against the door jam with a smile on her face.

“Heard loud and clear.” Happy replies before turning and disappearing into the night. [Y/N] waits until she can hear the roar of his bike and see the tail lights disappear around the corner before going back inside to her wine and closet to decide what to wear.

Lei lifts her arms so that [Y/N] can wrap a towel around her tiny body, “That’s it? How did the date go?”

“Yeah! Did the knight and princess kiss?” Cora questions as she pulls on her PJs and climbs up on the stool by the sink to brush her teeth, “will there be a dragon?”

“Will the knight slay the dragon?!” Lei shouts as she too pulls on her PJs.

[Y/N] sighs as she tidies up the floor and drains the tub, “The date goes well and there will be a dragon, but it’s not the knight that slays the dragon it’s the princess.”

The answer shocks the girls and they get lost in their own little heads while brushing their teeth. Once the girls are done she ushers them to their room and into their beds, but before she can tuck them in they scramble for a teddy bear or two. One by one she tucks them in and presses a very loving kiss on their foreheads before double checking the nightlight near the closet.

“Goodnight girls, I love you both so much.” [Y/N] says as she cuts the light off and goes to exit the room.

“Mommy, everything will be okay.” Cora mumbles softly as she falls asleep. [Y/N] freezes for a moment before looking back at the two of them only to find them both fast asleep in their beds. She carefully pulls the door closed and heads back into the kitchen where she works quickly and quietly to clean up the mess before retreating to the bedroom. There’s barely enough time between the bedroom door closing and the tears falling, she tries desperately to stop them but they just keep coming.

In an attempt to stop them she disappears into the bathroom and turns the shower on, strips down and slips under the stream of hot water washing away the emotions and tears. The shower does wonders and when the stream starts to turn cold she shuts the water off and climbs out wrapping a warm towel around herself. She opens the door and steps into the bedroom only to come to a screeching halt when she finds Happy standing there mid removal of clothes.

“Hey, i’m sorry I didn’t call you back the run got a little hairy and…” Happy mutters but he trails off when [Y/N] crosses the floor and throws herself against his chest hugging him tightly. He doesn’t say anything at all, instead he wraps his arms around her and rocks her back and forth.

“It’s okay, you made it home and that’s all that matters.” [Y/N] mumbles into his chest as she once again fights back tears. Happy gently pulls her away so that he can look at her face, he moves his hands up and cups her cheeks and flashes her his famous smile that he only shows her.

“Tell me about your day and what the kids did today.” Happy mutters as he presses a soft kiss on her forehead and it’s like she’s falling in love all over again, as if none of the troubles from earlier matter at all.

#sons of anarchy #soa #happy lowman

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teerlinck · 5 years

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Letter to Jasper From Prickles the Hedgehog

This is a letter I--er, Prickles--wrote to my nephew over the holidays...

Dear Jasper Bear,

My name is Prickles. I am the crystal hedgehog Uncy J sent you in the mail. Thank you for making me. It’s good to be alive, spikey, and orange. I heard your Paw say you liked The Football Games, and that you like The Purple Viking Team. I want you to know that even though I am orange, I like purple things too. Skoal!

I am writing this letter to you by sneaking out at night through a little door in the wall that’s hidden so that dogs can’t get me. I have an office and a critter den under the ground out in the backyard. I dip one of my spikey bits in ink and then write with it like a pen. I have a candle and thick reading glasses called spectacles because I don’t see very well.

I have a brother named Poppy and a panda friend named Pandy. Pandy eats panda bread and watches TV. We do a lot of texting. My bro Poppy came from the same litter, so we’re littermates. His spikes are orange too. He has a job as a balloon popper. When people have birthdays and they don’t want the balloons anymore, they just call Poppy, who comes around in his van (though luckily he’s never had to change a tire on it) with a flashing light and a siren. He runs out of there and starts popping all the balloons and then he stares silently at the balloon holders until they cut him a check. His business is called POPPER STOPPERS, because nobody stops him from popping. Once, he popped a balloon he wasn’t supposed to and then he had to de-pop it. He charged the hooman a de-popper fee, which was two shillings.

Poppy likes popping balloons and “that’s his jam.” That means, that’s what he likes to do. What’s your jam? Is it toe jam? I hear that toe jam is good with derpleberry pie. I grow my own derpleberries out in the back yard, but no one sees them because they’re the size of pin heads. Mr. Worm always wiggles by and tips his hat when I’m out tending my berries. Mrs. Honeybee tells me about all the beeswax, and how it isn’t like ear wax at all. Bees do not make ear wax, did you know that?

Derpleberries taste a little like chicken, chocolate, and cheese. Like wobblepuffs with a hint of boofalope or hoozle noodles with dandelion juice. Do you know what I mean, man? There is nothing so fine as derpleberry puddin’ with a few southern-fried termites served in oak bark sauce. Yum.

Please take good care of my crystals. I’m sorry they’re kind of pokey. I bet you’re happy you don’t have to sleep on a pin cushion in an old, smelly shoe with a dirty foot sock for a blanket. Hooman feet get quite dirty. I know. I have to see them because I’m a short critter with stubby nubbins for legsies. Only hoomans wear foot socks. I don’t know any critters that wear foot socks or shoes on their feeties.

May I ask you a question? Are you a hooman? Is a boy also a hooman and a hooman also a boy? They never told us much at Sharptooth Primary School For Pokey & Spikey Things. That’s where I went to school. They say that hoomans are tall, and stand on two feet, but that boys are like mini-hoomans who then get bigger as they grow. I got as big as I am now, pretty fast. Is your Mum n’ Paw hoomans as well, or are they people? What about your Uncy J, what is he? What’s an “uncy” anyway? I’m so confused.

Thank you for growing my crystal spikey bits using the borax solution that is not a toy, and required adult supervision. I don’t know what all that means, but it sounds like quite a lot of trouble to go through for a small plastic animal with questionable sireage. Spikes for a hedgehog are like feeties to a hooman—as in, very important. So thank you, boy hooman.

I am told that it is the custom of the Viking to say skoal, and hope that you have a field goal. I hope you reach all your fields, if that is your goal. I love my fields, especially ones with clover, dandelions, and sunshiney stuffs. Thank you for being a friend. You travel down a road and back again. Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant. Meery Skoalmas to you and all the hoomans you like.

Yours really,

Prickles Hedgehog

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im-hiding22 · 5 years

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Off With The Head Again, Just Take It Off - 5:21

(Alternative title: I’m So Sorry This Is Really Long I Press Enter Too Many Times And Try To Break Up Tension With Happies Also I Promise You There Will Be Delicious Juggy Action Soon I Really Do Just Lemme Do Some More Character Setups For A Sec And We’ll Be Ready To Die by Buggy)

(Thank you again to my good friend Atari for blessing me with their son, Clive)

“Alright, everyone done?” Gene stood and collected soup bowls happily. Everyone was sitting down in a little circle in the main room, some still with blankets on. It was a bit dark, with peeps of light streaming in through the cracks in between curtains.

“We’re good,” said Skuggy, holding out his plate. “Can...can you excuse me for a moment before we get ready?” Gene collected his bowl and nodded.

“Yes, feel free, but come back quickly, okay?” His voice was calm and reassuring. Skuggy looked back to Clive, who was still holding him. Clive let go and looked a bit surprised as Skuggy hopped off and promptly made his way down the hall. Clive held out his bowl, too.

“Thank you,” he said.

Rascal was leaning back in a big blanket, hands empty of a soup bowl. “That was good, Gene. I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Yeah, Gene!” cheered Farrow.

“Oh, shush you guys,” laughed Gene, blushing a bit as he carried the bowls to the sink. “I do enjoy cooking. It’s a bit like art, really.”

“I remember you used to invite Amne and I for dinner a lot,” Buggy chuckled. “It was basically all I lived off of back then, haha. Thank god I’ve finally learned how to make cereal without burning it.”

“Y...you can burn cereal?” Rascal looked at him with wide eyes.

“Yes.” Buggy made eye contact with him, dead serious.

“Nah, he’s lying,” said Farrow. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“But...why?” Rascal was wide-eyed.

Clive listened onto the conversation, a bit concerned, actually. “My roommate burns noodles for fun,” he added, laughing a bit. “He runs from them every other day.”

“But...why?!” Rascal set his head in his hands.

“Hey, Rascal. Help me out with packing up the materials,” called Mendel.

“Oops, gotta go. Y’all have backpacks?” Rascal hopped off of the couch.

“I do!” Buggy raised his hand.

“Um...I have pockets?” Clive looked to him, shrugging.

“I didn’t bring shit. Sorry.” Farrow sat with his legs pulled up to his chest, scrolling his phone idly. “No signal here still? God, Samuel’s gonna be looking for me...”

“Uhhhh okay, I think...I think we might be able to fit some stuff in the backpacks, we might have to carry some rope, but that’s cool.” Rascal paced around anxiously. “Uhh, we got the stakes from the house, right?”

“I put them down by the bear traps,” said Farrow. “And a med kit, and a uh....”

“Ah! A hook? Okay, this might come to use. Climbing a tree? Grappling hook!” Rascal snapped his fingers.

“Here, since we’re going to the motel, I can empty out the backpack and put on some new clothes!” Buggy got up and hurried to Rascal. “I can leave the old stuff at the motel!”

“Okay, great,” Rascal said. “Clive, go get Skuggy, we might need some knives.”

“Oh my god I forgot to give Skuggy back his knife, he’s gonna behead me!” Buggy cried out.

“Alright, one sec!” Clive hopped up and hurried down the hall. The lights were off save for the bathroom light. Clive left a few knocks on the door. “Hey, Skug! We need you in the living room!”

“Huh?” A muffled voice sounded from the bathroom, sounding a bit light. “Uh, just tell them I’ll be out in a sec, I’m busy.”

“You good in there?” asked Clive, smooshing his face to the door. “Are you washing your hands?”

“Uh, yeah.” The sink turned on, and he could hear the sound of hands cupping under it, then coming out once again. A small splash. “Just go, Clive, I’m good.”

“...You sure?” Clive cocked an eyebrow and gently tapped the door handle. “If you need anything, I’m here, y’know.”

“I know, Clive. Go away,” he urged, a bit more serious now. The sink turned off. The sound of shuffling shoes.

Clive blinked. He had never really been upset at him before. He felt a small sting in his chest. “...Skuggy?” He knocked again.

“What do you want?” Skuggy pulled the door open, and Clive stumbled in. Skuggy’s face was red, voice trembling slightly.

“...Were you crying?” Clive’s eyes suddenly widened, and he froze. Skuggy looked around and shut the door.

“Dude, shut up. I...like, I...” Skuggy covered his eyes with his hands, scowling in frustration. “I got a bit anxious, okay?! Just...just don’t tell anyone! I’m trying to fix i--”

“Who did it.” Clive clenched his fist and unclenched it repeatedly, face still but eyes burning with some sort of emotion Skuggy couldn’t identify at first glance.

“What? No, no, it isn’t what you think, I just...stop looking at me like that!” Skuggy’s hands trembled a bit.

“Was it Farrow?”

“...” Skuggy looked to the side, voice caught in his throat. “...Well, y-yeah, b--”

“Hold this.” Clive held out his spatula.

“Wh..What? No, this i--”

“It’s okay, I’ve got your back. Hold my spatula.” He nudged it closer. Skuggy recognized the emotion in his eyes, and oh lord, if Death, the Horseman of the Apocalypse, could be a single emotion, it would be apt enough to be kept in this man’s eyes. He took the spatula without another word, and Clive immediately shoved open the door, kicking it with his foot as well. He stormed out, leaving a wake of pure rage in his path.

Skuggy stood there in the bathroom, actually feeling a bit terrified. He peeked out the door, hands still a bit shaky. “Jesus Christ, what have I done,” he mumbled to himself.

Clive stepped into the living room bare-handed, expression grim. They didn’t notice--Buggy, Rascal, and Mendel were organizing supplies. Gene was washing dishes, and Farrow was constructing a few Molotovs, just in case. Clive stepped up behind him.

“Farrow?” His voice was still characteristically light, but his face showed no lightness to it. Farrow turned, a bit bothered.

“Yeah, what do you want? I’m a bit busy.”

“You do know you’re a terrible person for hurting him, right?”

Farrow sighed and rolled his eyes, turning back to his work. “Ugh, shut up, kid. Don’t get your nose so deep in shit that isn’t your business, alright?” He topped it off with a cork stopper, nudging it in with care. “Hm...be a dear and get me a little candle, would you?”

Clive stood silently.

“...Did you hear me?” Farrow turned around. “I said get me a fucking ca--”

Clive socked him in the jaw, making him yell out in pain and fall backwards. He then leaped onto him and pulled out a knife from his coat pocket, holding Farrow down by the neck with his other arm.

“You’re the scum of the earth, you rotten little excuse of a man,” he spat. “Do you know that?” Everyone turned to look at the scene, Rascal screaming. Clive held the knife up to his throat and moved his hand a bit, measuring the force he’d need to use to puncture it. Farrow looked up at him with wide eyes, trying to shove him off. Clive lifted his knife and was about to bring it down.

“Clive! Holy shit!” Gene sprinted from the kitchen and pushed him back, grabbing Clive by the shoulders. Clive pulled away from him, yelling at Farrow and swinging around his knife. Buggy quickly ran to help out Gene, and Mendel followed.

“CLIVE NO, WE HAVE A DEAL!” Buggy reached for Clive’s arm.

“If you two don’t stop fighting I’ll kick both of you out,” Mendel said calmly, merely standing aside and making sure nobody dies.

Farrow kicked Clive in the chest and managed to scramble away as Gene and Buggy both managed to pry him off.

“Get back here, you little shit!” Clive called out after him, Farrow quickly running behind Mendel and peeking out from over his shoulder.

“Oh dear god, that guy just-- did you see that?! Mendel, he tried to fucking kill me!” Farrow looked at him with the look a girl would give to you after you spilled coffee on her new shirt.

“Enough is enough!” Gene carried Clive off and set him back down. “Listen, Clive, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we have a deal here,” he explained quickly, holding him back from lunging back at Farrow. “As long as Farrow’s on our team, he can’t hurt us, and we can’t hurt him--”

“This dude broke the fucking deal! He-- he was right there! With a KNIFE!” Farrow yelled.

“And I would’ve beheaded you a second time too, you fucking nuisance!” Clive retorted. “You hurt my friend, you aren’t just going to get away with it!”

“Listen!” Gene shook him, frustrated. “If you don’t stop, we’re throwing you out, okay? You can’t hurt him, he can’t hurt us. Sure, he’s not a good person, but as long as he’s just helping the team complete their common goal, he’s fine! Leave him alone!”

"You dont even know what he DID to him!” Clive yelled, trying to squirm his way out. Gene held him tight.

“Listen, Clive, I do. And trust me, I wish I could do something to help but I--”

Skuggy peeked out from the hall. “...Are we all alive in here?”

Everyone turned to face him. Clive stopped and gasped.

“Your friend tried to fucking kill me! Is this what you sent him to do, you little bastard?” Farrow snapped. “I swear to fucking god, once I get my hands on you--” Clive threw his knife at him, aiming for the head. Instead, it grazed his cheek and pinned itself into a wall. Farrow, speechless, simply put a hand to his cheek and screamed.

“Farrow, go make your bombs.” Mendel shoved him back to where he was.

Skuggy quickly disappeared back into the hall.

Gene looked back to Clive. “You good? Are you okay now?”

Clive watched as Skuggy vanished away as the knife slammed into the wall, and snapped to his senses. “Oh. Oh gosh.” His lips quivered. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I really am--”

“I know, Clive. Just leave them be, I’ve got this under control.” Gene pat his back. “I mean, I’m a doctor of all trades, I’ve dealt with things like this all the time. You trust me, don’t you?” His voice returned to the usual calm and reassuring tone he had to him.

Clive held back a sob. “I’m so sorry. I really do! I do! But...” He choked back more sobs. “Oh god, I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

“It’s fine, really! Just...don’t pull something like that again. At least not under the deal, okay?” Gene pat his head. “It’s okay Clive, really. You’re okay. Everything’s fine. I understand why you’d protect your friend, but...keep in mind we are a team, yes?” He wiped his tears.

Clive nodded silently, sniffing. “I-Is everyone okay? Oh jeez...”

“Everyone is okay, Clive. Mendel! Go tend to Farrow, make sure he’s okay.” Mendel nodded and went to check up on him. “Everything is alright, Clive. I just need to know if you promise you won’t do that again.”

“I’ll try, I really will!” Clive insisted. “I’m so sorry, Gene...”

“No need to apologize, friend.” He pat him once more and set him down, standing up. “If you need anything else, I’ve got you. For now, is it okay if you help Rascal over there? He seems a bit distressed. I need to help your friend.” Clive looked over to Rascal, who was frantically organizing as if his life depended on it.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” He looked back to Gene. “T-Thanks, Gene...” Gene smiled and ruffled his hair.

“I’m trusting you, Clive. I’m gonna deal with these two, you guys go finish packing. Oz is waiting, and you all know the sun isn’t gonna wait for us!” Gene led his own way through the room, disappearing into the darkness of the hall, leaving everyone a little bit more calm than they were before as he passed.

“...The fuck was that?” Farrow said, finally sitting back down to finish his Molotovs.

Rascal was holding back for a bit, but finally said something. “Farrow I think you just got your sorry ass beat.”

“He did,” agreed Mendel.

“Mendel, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Farrow gasped. Rascal laughed, Mendel only smirking.

“It is just a joke, Farrow.”

“Wait a minute. Who cares about whatever the hell happened, Mendel just made a joke.” Farrow’s head perked up. Clive gasped a bit, actually genuinely surprised.

Mendel stifled a little laugh.

“Are you okay?” Gene reached out to Skuggy, who was sitting down in a corner of the hall.

“I’m good.”

“You sure? Most don’t sit alone in a hall if they’re happy and fine, y’know.” He sat down next to him.

Skuggy didn’t speak.

“Listen Skuggy, I know it’s hard. I promise I won’t force you to interact with Farrow at all, if you’d like. He really isn’t going to hurt you, I won’t let him.” Gene looked to him with kind eyes. “I promise, over my dead body he won’t set a hand on you.”

Skuggy shuffled a bit, tucking his chin in between his arms that lay on his knees. “I know we’re a hassle. I wish I weren’t such a fucking pussy.” He looked away.

“You aren’t, it’s understandable you have a...disliking to him. It’s like me and werewolves, isn’t it? Something terrible happens to us, directly caused by that person, and you can’t even stand being near them, thinking about them, much less having to interact with one.” He hovered a hand over his shoulder. “May I?”

Skuggy nodded. Gene placed his arm on his shoulder and squeezed him slightly.

“But I’ll keep you two apart. He can’t do anything to you, he won’t even be able to say anything to you if you want me to ask him as well. It’s just that...it’s safer, to have two medics. What if my hands are full?” Gene looked down. “Other than that, I don’t see much use in keeping him around, if I were to be truly honest.” He looked back to Skuggy, who’s expression hadn’t changed. “...Does he still scare you? I won’t tell a soul.”

Skuggy hesitated before gently nodding. “He’s gonna get all of us killed, Gene. I know he will. It’s just in him.”

“Skuggy, look at me.” He did so. “I won’t let him. Let me repeat--the day he hurts any of you is the day his life ends on this Earth, Understand?”

“He’s smart, Gene. He can act nice, but...” he trailed off.

“I won’t let him fool me. I can see past his lies.” Gene tilted his head. “I’ve been a doctor for many different people, Buggy. I have seen many different lies, many different masks, been told so many cover-ups and have been straight up back-stabbed by my own patients. Over the years, I’ve learned.” He nodded gently to Skuggy. “Trust me when I say, he isn’t very good at covering up his own lies.”

“Okay, but still, that won’t stop him from fucking killing me when we get home.” Skuggy laid his head in his arms. “I’ve said such dumb shit, I should’ve known better. I’m such a fucking dumbass.”

“You’ll be fine. If you want me to, I can go with you and walk you back home.”

“No, Gene, that’s a hassle, and don’t say it isn’t.”

“Helping someone else stay safe isn’t a hassle to me.” Gene ruffled his hair. “Come on, bug. I can talk to him, if you’d like me to--”

“Don’t,” Skuggy urged. “Thanks Gene, really, but...don’t tell him anything, please.”

“May I just ask him to leave you alone?”

“...Fine.”

Gene tapped his back. When Skuggy turned to look, he was holding out his arms for a hug. Skuggy felt a lump in his throat.

He crawled over to him and melted into his arms, Gene holding him close. “It’ll be okay, friend. It’ll all be alright. You’re safe.” Skuggy felt tears spilling onto Gene’s shoulder, but Gene just pat his back and nodded.

“It’s okay, my friend. Let it all out. We’ll try again with the packing up once we’re ready. But we must hurry. The Juggernaut isn’t very patient.”

#spacer tag 1 #spacer #spcar2 #spacer 3 #aspacer whatever #writing #day #soon.#post

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