#like its been good for me in that aspect to be more chill about sharing casually pieces

[gideongrovel]

my dash is always pretty dead like friday through monday for whatever reason 😐 So the art i just finished will have art to wait till tuesday!! 🤭

#Finally drew the wife again!! its been too long since ive drawn my ship with Chop..... and it was making me feel like a bad husband 😓 #tho it is a low effort drawing for me... all being done in one sitting.... #someday i will fully render again..... but its also good for me to become more relaxed with sharing art that is low stakes #not everything needs to high stakes 100% perfectionist.... #like its been good for me in that aspect to be more chill about sharing casually pieces #also waiting till tuesday i dont have to worry about bugging people on the taglist so soon lol

[lifeonmarz-blog]

Sun through the houses: Synastry

Sun in 1st, the sun person makes the house person feel understood. Ive had this aspect with one of my bestfriends. He was my go to person, the first one id call when anything interesting happened. Its easy to share your feelings with the sun person it feels natural. We gave each other more confidence. He acknowledged accomplishments in my life that others didn't. Things that i didn't even give myself credit for he shined a light on. This placement made me act more fearlessly because someone else saw that quality in me.

Sun in 2nd, Stability is a common attraction to this placement. The sun person sees the house person as someone they can depend on. House person can help sun person financially or help develop their interest. Together these two can create great business plans, they work well together towards mutual interest. Others see the couple as very business oriented. I have this placement with one of my brothers both ways and we grew up sharing alot of our things sometimes because he had to other times because we knew that would allow us to both have more. Also i would borrow money from him he's always been a saver. Ive always preferred to exchange money for experiences.

Sun in 3rd, Sun person is very easy to talk to almost like a Therapist or something. Your secrets are spilled easily. The house person naturally wants to share here but it goes both ways the sun person also feels very understood by the house person. There's a mutual openness and grace with this placement. If you were in a long distance relationship this is type of placement that would be beneficial. I have this with a sibling he is the sun person and we have mutual interest so it makes collabing very easy. We tend to naturally operate in the same direction even though we individually don't think that similar.

Sun in 4th, This placement can feel like looking into a mirror. This person is a blatant reflection of some of your own behaviors. On the surface they seem like your ideal partner. Very well received by family. Honesty well received in general they look good together. This placement focuses on healing emotions in yourself that you reject. Its easier to be grateful for the little things with this person. They show you new ways to view the same things. Here you will see the areas where your being naive. They want you to believe in yourself as much as they do.

Sun in 5th, Child like fun happens here. The way the sun person expresses helps the house person not take things so seriously. The sun person is in awe of the house person. Its such a cute placement, The sun person makes the house person feel special. It may not be long term but it shows you how to just be, with no added pressures. Express your love today don't wait type of vibe. You may even talk about having babies here, are you actually serious probably not but this placement loves to feed into fantasies and ideals and that's nice sometimes. Someone i had this placement with would always tell me how beautiful i was even when i was just chilling in pajamas it was cute. Ive also been the sun person and the way the house person handled their problems and stayed so mentally strong was very inspiring to me. It made me want to be less reactive and more of a problem solver. I looked up to their resilience.

Sun in 6th, The house person feels the need to improve because of the sun person. The things that you choose to ignore are brought up here. The energy is like ''deal with it now, no more waiting". The house persons structure and discipline is being improved here. Its often that the house person doesn't want to be seen as lazy by the sun person. Which can be very helpful if you have goals your working towards. Their energy is motivating especially when it comes to business related things. House person doesn't want to disappoint the sun person. Sun person sees the house person as capable of great achievements.

Sun in 7th, Long term friendship or friends turned lovers is the theme in this house. Relationships built here usually started innocently from just being around each other alot. Sometimes the Sun person can have unfair expectations of the house person. Unbalanced relationships is common here one or both people can feel they carry more responsibility and burden. It can feel like at times communication is missed, misinterpretations can always be worked through if both people are willing to listen to understanding and if they are relationships here will go the distance. Both sets of my grandparents had this placement and were married for over 40 years. This could also be person you have a child with and now your bonded to each other even if their wasn't marriage. They feel a sense of home in each other. This couple could like to stay home and do things together.

Sun in 8th, The sun person buries themself into house persons wounds often times wounds they didn't even know they had. Both people are meant to be transformed by the union. If this relationship can make it through the first few initial hurtles which tend to be more dramatic, this relationship will keep you together for a while. The way the sun person expresses can have the house person feeling the need to keep a defense up. The sun person feels the house person is running away from their issues. Sun person is made to feel like the bad guy because their just more comfortable bringing up the hard topics. If the house person is willing to drop their defensiveness and the sun person is willing to be patient and tactful with the house person this relationship would be one of the phoenix rising from the ashes. They would be unbreakable together.

Sun in 9th, This couple inspires each other. Expanding what you thought you knew. Transforming what you thought love was. This is a beautiful placement of people learning a new viewpoint on love and self expression. Sun person expands house persons viewpoints more but this placement goes both ways. Topics that you wouldn't normally talk about gets discussed here. Long term friendships are built through the expansion of the mind. Affection is easily shown here taking trips together would do this couple well and deeper the connection. They want to give to each other and spending money together is one of their favorite things to do. This is honestly one of my favorite placements its mentally and physically expansive.

Sun in 10th, Sun person is proud of house person. They want to show house person off they feel lucky to be with house person. It makes them look good publicly. This couple has a relationship that is centered around fun. They want everyone to see their affection towards each other. This couple is friends first and lovers second. This placement isn't as emotionally deep but it will make you feel important. They want people to know how amazing you are. Its very easy to be yourself and tap into your more child like energies with this placement. This couple shows each other sides of themselves no one else knows about. With that being said they can also be vicious towards one another if this relationship turns sour this couple will have no problem having public disputes. Also this may be a taboo type of relationship were people don't understand why your together or be curious on how the person got with you.

Sun in 11th, I bet this relationship started with lighthearted playful flirting. This is the most "friendly" placement. Intimacy may take more work to develop here. Ive had this placement in a friends with benefits situation. It can easily turn into that if both people aren't intentional about what they’re looking for. If they are, this is a great placement. Communication feels very open and theirs no pressure. This couple merges friend groups and could've also meet through friends or have mutual friends. This couple networks well together and other people are very attracted to their energy together. Its fun to watch them interact with each other. They’re the type to be in a room full of people but have their own sidebar conversation and cues towards one another.

Sun in 12th, Spiritual connection or secret infatuation? My sun is in the 12th house so ive experienced this more times than i would like to but in the same breathe i love it. The sun person unintentionally test who you thought you were. Boundaries become blurred in this house but its slick, you might not even notice until after the fact. Things that you might find embarrassing happen here "thats never happened before" type of things. Alot of the communication in this house goes unsaid. Its like the little social cues that your supposed to just pick up on. It can also feel like your being observed on how you react to situations. You still seem to be mysterious to each other no matter how long you've known each other. Like there's still something being hidden from you. Without trust this placement could easily lead to feelings of being deceived. Thats not to say your not being deceived though. Cheating is common in the 12th house. You could be completely shocked and unaware about your partner living a double life. With the 12th house there's really no planet person, house person dynamic it switches back in fourth. Theres alot of talking behind each others back but that doesn't have to be a bad thing the person could be speaking well about you, putting your name in the right spaces. You know the feeling of walking into a room that people were just talking about you in? Its like you didn't physically hear it but you feel it. Someones sun in your 12th can give that type of feeling for both people. If its not operating from an expansive place. If it is you experience complete devotion. Two people committed to the relationship no matter where its headed. Someone you can experience complete intimacy and vulnerability with. Complete was an unintentional brilliant choice of words here. Not to many can navigate the 12th house and make it out together but if you do... you'll feel you've completed something great and felt a connection sent directly from god.

#astrology #12th house #astrology101 #astrologyfacts #8th house #astrologychart #astrologyobservations #astrologyzone #astro notes #synastry #sun synastry

[muertawrites]

Of Incense and Intimacy (Eddie Munson x Reader) [18+]

Summary: Your roommate's recreational habits tend to wreak havoc on your anxious sensitivities, so you burn a little incense with him to help you both relax. Maybe choosing a scent called "love spell" wasn't the best idea....

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, the devil's lettuce, explicit descriptions of secks (minors i fucking see you stay behind the beaded curtain), raw dogging (wear a fuckin' raincoat y'all don't be dumb), mentions of the dirty touch, perv!eddie my beloved, my daddy kink continuing to control every aspect of my life

Word Count: 3.5k (she long and thick this time babes)

Author's Note: i just like incense a lot. ever since i got a backflow burner it's become my entire personality. my room smells amazing.

You hate doing this, ruining his fun. Especially because you know it's how he relaxes; how he deals with his own problems. Still, the tightening of your chest, the shallowness of your breathing, the fear starting to creep its way out of the corners of your mind sends you across the hall, tapping on his door.

Eddie answers in a puff of cannabis smoke, and you instinctively cover your mouth and nose with your shirt. Even in his hazy, glazed-over frame of mind, he knows exactly why you're here, and he immediately apologizes.

"Oh, shit, pumpkin, I'm sorry."

He dashes back into his room, stubbing out the joint in his hand and opening his window a crack, despite the winter chill. You stand in the doorway and sigh.

"No, I'm sorry," you say. "I'm a shit roommate."

"You have clinical anxiety." He annunciates the words as he returns to you, leaning against the door frame and giving your hair a quick, gentle pet. "It's okay."

You grimace as you flinch away, choked by the skunky smell emanating from him.

"That shit reeks," you huff. "You don't have anything better?"

Eddie chuckles, shoving the sleeve of his sweatshirt under your nose to tease you. He laughs as you smack him away.

"The high quality stuff brings in too much money," he explains. "Unless you want me to stop pitching in for takeout."

You roll your eyes and hold a finger up, telling him to wait.

"I'm not living with that stench all night."

You disappear into your bedroom, returning with a couple ceramic dishes and a stack of different sized boxes. Eddie raises an eyebrow as you set them up on his dresser, handing him a few of the boxes and directing him to choose some of the contents. He opens the topmost one, labeled "fairy dust", and removes one of the clay-coated sticks inside.

"Incense?" he realizes. He holds the stick up to his face, the scent so sweet it burns his nostrils. "Is this why your room always smells so good?"

You nod, shuffling through a few of the smaller boxes.

"It covers up the smell of weed," you explain. "I started using it like a week after we moved in together."

Eddie smirks, looking through the other scents you've brought over. Some of them are simple and self-explanatory, like basil and lily, but others are more vague, like "mystique" and "decadence". He pauses when he comes across a box marked with the words "love spell", grinning at you in that impish, borderline perverse way you know too well.

"You trying to seduce me?" he jests, waggling his eyebrows.

"I'd have to do way less than this to seduce you," you laugh. You shriek when his pillow smacks you in the back of the head.

"I'm not desperate," he defends himself. "I've been dry for over a year, y'know."

"We share a wall," you remind him. "I can hear you masturbate. Twice a day. It's like you don't even try to keep quiet."

He scoffs, attempting to play off the fierce blush that burns across his cheeks. You giggle at him; he's way too cute.

"What's weirder is that I never hear you masturbate," he deflects. "I'm starting to worry."

"I masturbate," you state matter-of-factly. "I'm just considerate enough to shut the fuck up about it."

Eddie tries to ignore the way the image of you pleasuring yourself, just feet away from him, makes his cock twitch. He clears his throat as he hands you one of the boxes, choosing at random.

"Here."

You examine it, grinning up at him.

"You picked the one called 'wizard'?" you tease. "Not surprised."

He chuckles, settling himself on the end of his mattress as he watches you place an incense stick upright in your burner and set it alight with the Zippo he keeps next to his stash. The flame flares, searing a thick, smoky path down the tip of the stick before you blow it out, leaving nothing but glowing embers and heavy, fragrant smoke curling into the air. He fixates on the purse of your lips, barely staving off the lewd thoughts that float through his mind.

As the smell of sugar and sandalwood perfumes the confined space, you pop open one of the smaller boxes and remove an incense cone from it, setting it strategically at the top of the second dish. This one is shaped like a pond, beveled with stones, complete with sculpted lily pads and painted koi. When you light the tip of the cone, sweet sage drifts upward on the wisps of smoke, waves of it cascading down the ceramic stones and into the waiting pool below.

Eddie's eyes grow wide, watching the display as if you're performing magic. You smile, curling up on his mattress so you can comfortably enjoy the view.

"That's so fucking cool," he gasps. He lays back beside you, his body fitting nicely next to yours. There isn't much room on his full bed, so you're pressed together, your head falling onto his stomach to compensate for the lack of space.

"Yeah, I knew you'd like it," you muse. "I was gonna get you one for your birthday."

You lay like that for a while, until the incense stick burns out, the silence and shared warmth far too easy between you. Eddie's arm migrates around your shoulders, hugging you close, your leg somehow finding its way between his as you fold yourself more and more into him. The scent of weed still lingers after the incense is gone, so you stand and light another, Eddie whining at the loss of your touch.

Rose petals and musk fill the air as you return to the bed, this time straddling your roommate's lap as he sits leaned against his pillows and the wall. He quirks a brow at you but doesn't protest, his hands falling without hesitation around your waist, keeping you there.

"... Maybe I am trying to seduce you. A little bit," you admit.

He smirks, eyes still glassy from his high.

"You're joking," he replies. There's no way that you - beautiful, intelligent, fiery you - want to have sex with him.

But you shake your head, arms draping over his shoulders as your chest presses to his.

"I think you're hotter than sin, Eddie Munson. And you're my best friend. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in bed with."

Maybe it's the pot. Maybe it's how pretty you look with your hair up, greasy and messy, a day past needing a wash. Maybe it's the feel of your unconfined breasts pushed against him under your sweater. Maybe it's simply how he loves you, but can't find the words to admit it. Whatever the reason, Eddie closes the space between you with a tender, tentative kiss, his thumb grazing the naked skin just under your shirt. You smile softly against his lips, opening your mouth so they can slot together with yours, tongues finding each other with the gentlest little push.

"You taste good," he murmurs. You peck his lips as he pulls away to speak, gazing dreamily into his honey brown eyes.

"You taste like smoke," you tell him. He chuckles, returning your tiny smooch.

You take your time, savoring each other's kisses and touches in a heated round of sucking face. Eddie's movements are slow and deliberate, his tongue and his lips moving in sync with yours while his large, calloused palms rub loving circles into the skin under your sweater. When you pull away to breathe, he licks teasingly at your lips, grinning as you giggle softly. He presses lazy kisses along your jaw, your eyes falling blissfully closed as he works his way down your neck, nipping and sucking at your flesh. He's hard under his sweatpants, but he's in no rush - he loves having you close, loves having the time to worship your body the way you deserve. You knot your fingers in his hair and he lets out a breathy little moan, the sound so melodic you could listen to it on repeat for hours.

"What do you think about when you masturbate?" he wonders aloud. He thoughtfully licks his lips as he levels his face once again, brushing his nose against yours. His eyes are heavily lidded.

"It used to be Jeff Goldblum, before he gets all gross in The Fly," you divulge. "But since living with you, it's just you. The sounds you make... it's like having my own private porno."

You smirk as Eddie blushes, his hand squeezing gently at your love handle. You've masturbated... to him masturbating? All while he was none the wiser? That can't be right. He must be hearing things, mustering his own fantasies into being.

"You're so pretty..." he whispers, losing track of his thoughts.

You giggle, playfully licking at his lips the way he did yours.

"What do you think about?" you ask in return.

"You," he answers without a beat. "How you look when you walk around in just a big t-shirt. I like to imagine you riding me like that. Or when you're in the shower, I... I sometimes masturbate thinking of you in there."

Your tongue grazes over your bottom lip, teeth sinking into it as the muscle disappears into your mouth and you smile. He's shocked that you're not totally disgusted.

"I want you to bend me over," you confess.

He blinks. This can't be for real.

"What, no missionary first?" he asks.

You laugh, pressing an affectionate kiss against his lips. He returns it reflexively, grinning into you, adoring the sound of your laugh.

"Just fuck me," you whisper. "It's about time we got naked together."

Eddie obliges without further convincing. He lifts your sweater over your head, drinking in the sight of your bare tits without shame. You kiss him again as your hands run under his sweatshirt, groping at his bare skin as he guides the offending fabric up and away, tossing it somewhere to be forgotten. He takes your face in his hands and presses his chest against yours, sighing into your mouth at the feel of your bodies so close, without anything between them. He's warm, his chest broad and firm, his arms forming a protective brace around you. Something so salacious as preparing for sex with your roommate has no right feeling as loving as this does.

"Stand up," Eddie instructs.

You climb off the mattress, giggling as he takes you by the hips and positions you between his legs. He kisses the space between your breasts, his breath fanning delicately over your skin as he eases your sweatpants down your legs, fingers teasing your exposed thighs. Your first instinct is to be embarrassed - you haven't shaved in well over two weeks, and you're afraid he'll be put off by it. But he's unfazed, too enamored with you to really care. His eyes graze over your body with lovelorn grace, still very much under the influence of the drugs, but clear enough to remain totally tuned in to you.

"Undress me."

He stands so he's towering over you, snaring you in another kiss before you make your way downward, trailing your lips languidly over his torso until you're kneeling before him; you pause on your way to kitten lick his nipple, and the sharp intake of his breath at the tease thrills you.

You don't bother taking your time with his sweats, unraveling the drawstring with expert precision and letting them fall, immediately grasping at the base of his cock. It's a pretty thing, long and perfectly thick, the tip poking out handsomely from the hood of his uncut foreskin. You stroke at him gently, grinning up at him with your lip between your teeth.

"You're as perverted as I am, aren't you, sweet little thing?" Eddie chuckles. You don't miss the way he twitches in your palm.

"I learned from the best," you reply with a wink.

His grin doesn't disappear as you run your tongue up the underside of his head, tasting the salt of precum as you gently suckle at the tip. He breathes an airy moan, his hand falling to the nape of your neck.

"Just let me fuck you, baby," he pleads. "I'll use your mouth another time."

You raise yourself up, unable to stop yourself from taking him in for another kiss. He's addicting, the feel of his lips twined with yours almost, if not as good as the sex you've been aching to have with him.

Eddie's hands don't leave your waist as you crawl back on to his mattress, bending down on your elbows and knees and arching your back in a display of catlike sensuality. He's quick to fall behind you, smoothing his palm down the curve of your back before bringing it with a sharp smack down on your ass cheek. You yelp, already dripping through the petals of your pussy in anticipation of his cock.

He runs two fingers through your slick, feeling you out; in the floor length mirror beside his window, you watch him raise those fingers to his lips and suck them clean.

"So sweet," he drawls. "I can't wait to make you cum with my tongue."

"I've never been eaten out before," you mention, catching his eyes in the mirror. They've got a mischievous gleam, not leaving yours as he runs the head of his cock up and down the length of your opening.

"You'll never want anyone else between your thighs once I'm done with you," he promises.

He dips himself inside you, causing you to gasp at the sudden rush of pain that always comes with the first breach of your walls. Your face scrunches, fingers gripping at his sheets as he takes hold of your hips, gently and carefully easing you onto him.

"It hurt?" he questions. The concern in his voice is obvious, and it makes you want for him even more.

"Only for a moment," you assure him. He gives a little nod, pulling out slightly before slipping back in, his cock stroking against you and relaxing your muscles. You breathe out a sigh, the pain fading into delicious fullness.

"Fuck, Eddie," you gasp. "Why didn't you mention you have the dick of a porn star?"

He chuckles, giving you another playful spank as he bottoms out, his head just kissing your cervix.

"Same reason you never mentioned your pussy was so perfectly deep and tight, I guess."

He grips you by the waist and starts to fuck, moaning as he sets a steady pace so you can both savor the feeling of each other. You stretch your torso out on his mattress, curling your body so he's hitting you right at your deepest point, an angle that has him groaning and mewling the way you're all too familiar with.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you look so good for me," he praises. "Taking my cock into that sweet little pussy..."

He brings his hand down once again, causing you to moan with the pleasurable sting of his palm against your skin. He continues to spank, thrusting in time with each hit until your cheeks are rosy and tender with the imprint of his palm. Your tongue rolls out of your mouth as he picks up his pace, eyes closing as you smile with bliss.

"Oh, that's my good girl," he growls. "Loving the way daddy uses her as his little fuck toy."

One of his hands raises to curl around the back of your neck, holding you in place as he starts to pound ruthlessly into you, your legs shaking as the sensation of him filling you reaches high into your stomach.

"You're so good baby... so good... mmmm, fuck, shit, heck, you feel incredible on my cock... Fuuuuuuuck, baby... Fuck...!"

You giggle at his intonations, mewling sweetly as his hips snap against yours, the sound of your thighs slapping together echoing off the walls. You can hear your sticky wetness clinging to his shaft, a harmony to back the loud groans he releases every time he thrusts.

"Right there, Eddie..." you coax. "Fuck, babe, right there... Make me cum..."

He guides your body forward, laying you flush against the blankets as he positions his body prone above yours, his arm wrapping around your neck to steady you. He doesn't stop railing into you, panting heavily in your ear, the thin plastic of the ever-present guitar pick around his neck bobbing against your back. You roll your hips into his, meeting his thrusts, and he lets out sound so sweet you think he might actually be crying.

"Oh, god, sugar, yes..." he snarls. "Keep fucking yourself on my cock... fuck, fuck, yeah, just like that... oh, love, you feel so fucking good..."

His relentless pace has built up a knot in your abdomen, one that releases with an explosion throughout your entire body. You cry out in ecstasy, your limbs fizzling with the shock of your orgasm, your toes curling as you ride the wave of indescribable pleasure out for its impossible length. As soon as Eddie feels you tighten around him, he clenches the base of his cock, staving away his own release as he fucks you through to the end. Once you relax, he gingerly unsheathes himself; you roll so you're facing him, repositioning yourself with bended knees so you can curl your fingers around the handsome appendage and stroke him, savoring his enamored cries as he cums onto your stomach and breasts. His breathing is ragged as the thick, pearly strings of semen cease to erupt from his slit. He collapses onto the mattress beside you with a satisfied huff.

For a few minutes, all you do is lay beside each other, filling each other's space while your breathing regains its normal rhythm and your bodies come back to themselves. Eventually, Eddie gets up and disappears, returning with the pack of baby wipes you keep in your room. He cleans you off, removing every trace of the depravity you've shared and kissing your stomach once you're pure again. He wipes himself off as well, pitching both the used cloths and the ash left in your burner into the little trash can beside his nightstand. The incense has long since burnt out.

Eddie crawls back into bed with you, lifting the blankets over you both and slipping between them, placing a kiss on your shoulder as he presses his chest to your back. You're laying with your heads on the foot of his bed, but that hardly matters; he's actually holding you, close and tight and with his face buried in your hair. It's such a small thing, but you've never been treated with this much tenderness before.

"What's wrong?" he asks. He can read you like a book and it makes you want to cry.

"... You're just being really good to me," you whisper. "You're not... You're not done with me."

"Of course not," he murmurs. He brushes a few stray wisps away from your face, clearing a space for his lips to press a light kiss into your temple. "If I just wanted you for sex I'd have made a move a long time ago. I... I kind of feel things for you. Like... a lot of things."

You turn to face him, hugging him close and hiding your face in his chest. He kisses the top of your head, his fingers making a delicate trail down the length of your spine.

"Thank you for putting up with me," you say. "And for driving me to the hospital that time my contact high gave me a panic attack."

Eddie chuckles, giving your love handle an affectionate squeeze.

"Any time, pumpkin. That's still the best date I've ever had."

You smile, letting out a breathy laugh into his skin.

Over the next couple weeks, Eddie slowly migrates his things into your room, making a habit of sharing a bed even when you're not having sex. His old room becomes a studio, and the other members of Corroded Coffin are excited when he tells them they finally have their own recording space. They're sprawled out on the floor, sharing a joint in celebration when the new setup finally dawns on Jeff.

"Did your roommate move out?" he inquires.

"Not really," Eddie responds with a shrug. "More like I moved in."

Jeff and Gareth share a skeptical look. As if on cue, you appear in the doorway, wearing a pair of Eddie's boxers and tossing him a pack of basil-scented incense, which he catches without so much as a flinch.

"Put it out, please," you request. "I'm starting to get jitters."

"Yes, dear. Our apologies."

He flashes you a giddy, awestruck smile as he reaches for the ashtray. He then blows you an exaggerated kiss, to which you just roll your eyes and grin.

"You're a fucking dork," you tell him.

"Love you too, angel babe."

💀🌹 masterlist 🌹💀

#muerta's works #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader fluff #fluffy smut #perv!eddie munson #perv!eddie #roommate!eddie munson

[ordinaryschmuck]

Quick Thoughts on the first two episodes of X-Men '97

Quick disclaimer: I wasn't a fan of the original series from the nineties. I watched all five seasons in preparation for this show and for reasons I can't explain, it just never grabbed me. When I hear people talk about how it's one of the best X-Men shows and even one of the best superhero animated shows out there, on top of Batman: The Animated Series or Spectacular Spider-Man, I was...not as into it as others were. But I was willing to keep an open mind about the revival. I like the X-Men as much as your average Marvel fan who's favorite superhero is Spider-Man could. Plus, my perspective offers a good question: Does this show offer anything of value if you're not a fan of the original series? And the answer is...Yeah, it absolutely frickin' does.

THIS was more along the lines of the show I was expecting when people talked about how great it is. A lot of what makes X-Men special is on top form here. The themes of prejudice, that anyone perceived as "other" can relate to, is on top display as the first villains we face in these two episodes are your average mutant hating humans who believe that humanity has it hard enough already without these mutants "whining" about their problems. Speaking of, the "crybabies" that humans hate share about how all they want is acceptance and the way they fear about the world judging them, their children, and the people they love. This is the bread and butter of every great X-Men story that helps makes it appealing to almost everyone. Yeah, it's cool to see mutants blow shit up as they fight aliens and robots and whatever, but if you claim the X-Men are now "too woke" because they made Morph non-binary, you haven't been paying close attention to what REALLY makes X-Men strong.

As for seeing these mutants blow shit up, you still get that in spades as the action in this show is TOP NOTCH. You got some goofy nonsense like Gambit powering up Wolverine's claws or Beast controlling a Sentinel from the inside, but also some really cool uses of everyone's powers and seeing them work as a team. I knew that the show was doing something right when they made CYCLOPS look cool. That is a very hard feat to accomplish as the first thought that comes to mind with any writer is that all Cyclops can do is shoot a laser beam. Yeah, that's what he does here too, but he's also punching and kicking people like a professional MMA fighter, using his blasts to amplify his attacks rather than being his ONLY attack. You love to see it and makes ME excited for what other kickass action we'll get in the future, because the animation is ALSO really good. It's stilted and choppy during scenes of dialogue, but it's dialogue. You don't NEED to have outstanding animation when all characters are doing is talking. The good stuff is saved for the fight scenes or for moments that just need to look a LOT more epic than they need to, and I appreciate that decision.

Another thing that's stronger is the "Soap Opera" aspect that I've heard people talk about with the original series. So many people claimed it was a soap opera for kids and...I'm going to be honest, I got that better with Gargoyles if anything else, but I feel like that aspect of the show is handled much better here. It's definitely NOT for kids, at least not for seven year olds like in the nineties. It's definitely more for OLDER kids as the series kept in mind that the target audience was going to be the adults who grew up watching this series instead of the new generation, and I feel like they're going to get a lot more than they wanted for a new series. You have Scott and Jean having a baby, Magneto leading the team, a certain person LEAVING the team, and a mind-shattering twist that leaves you wondering what could possibly come next. This show, at its best, leaves you with CHILLS during these big, dramatic moments of characters sharing their heart and souls with another or when something Earth-shattering is happening. Magneto's speech to the UN and a new anti-mutant villain was the most engaged I've been with a Marvel property since Across the Spider-Verse, holding my attention for every second to the point where I barely remembered to breath. When it was all over, I genuinely wanted there to be more.

So this revival is definitely good for someone like me who wasn't into the original series...but what about those who WERE fans? Honestly, I'm not sure how they'll feel. Almost everything seems like an improvement, but it's definitely NOT the same as the original. The animation's crisper and the writing lacks the nineties' camp for a more modern feel. It takes place almost a year after Charles Xaiver's "death," but the characters speak in a way that lacks that certain...way, you know? I like it, but will fans of the original accept it?

Plus, there are some new things that I'm not sure if X-Men fans in general are going to love. There's this weird...thing between Rogue and Magneto that feels icky and I REALLY hope they don't go there. And, without spoilers, there's this...THING that happens to Storm and it BETTER NOT be permanent. It makes sense for the story and you FEEL the weight of the drama that this moment brings, but she is too cool of a character that has this done to her. Couldn't they have done this to Morph instead? They were already screwed over in the original series, they can be screwed over again!

Overall, I'd say that X-Men '97, from these two episodes, is a good restart for this show. It brings back what fans of the original loved and improves upon it to make it more the show they idolized as kids. At least, that's my takeaway. I'm just glad to have some good X-Men content again outside of comics.

#x men 97 #x men #marvel #marvel animation #quick thoughts #what i thought about

[pyrocortex]

Having just completed the barbenheimer double bill I have some initial thoughts

The first is that the experience is peak cinema. The rest are mildly spoilery so they're below the cut.

My near immediate thoughts on Oppenheimer is that alot of my almost critisms are kinda muted (for lack of a better word) by the fact the film was called Oppenheimer. It didn't delve nearly as much into the more board strokes of the Manhattan project (like Los Alamos itself, or the bombings, or the people who suffered and died due to the three bombs he directly oversaw, or the long term impact of mass nuclear proliferation) but also... The film wasn't called the Manhattan Project, or Los Alamos, or Trinity, or Little boy and Fat man, or Nuclear Fallout or any other number of titles that would indicate a focus on the nuclear aspect of the second world war. It's Oppenheimer, a complicated biopic about a complicated man that begins some time in the 1920s and ends some time in the 1960s and is alot more about the man than the war he "won".

Not that this renders the movie free from criticisms on that front. Honestly I feel the movie is maybe too gentle on the man and his apocalyptic body count, and is probably not as strongly anti-war as the movie thinks it is, especially without any examination of whether Japan would have surrendered without the bombs. Plus the additional angle of "making a biopic about Oppenheimer that glosses over the real people his invention hurt" is, while a choice that makes sense on paper for the sake of keeping the movie right and focused, does take away the weight of what he did.

Then again, as a friend pointed out, having the only presence of Japanese people in the movie be nuclear irradiated corpses would be in poor taste at best and probably qualifies as exploitative at minimum. Plus, as Truman (or at least, Oppenheimer's Truman) points out, Oppenheimer and his team may have built the bombs, but he (Truman) ordered them dropped. Raises the question who deserves more blame, the man who builds the gun, or the one that shoots it?

Honestly I think the movie did an impressive thing in making me both sympathize with Oppenheimer's reasoning for building the bomb (once Fission was achieved, the obvious application for the energy output being a bomb, the Einstein-Szilard letter only doubling down on this fact, it being viewed in 1942 not as a question of whether nuclear bombs would be built, but who would build them first the Americans or the Nazis (Oppenheimer, a Jew, really understandably would rather it not be the fucking Nazis)) and also have me lose that sympathy as the Trinity test neared (once Germany surrendered, it felt like the "arms race" excuse was lost and the reason Oppenheimer kept going was just pure momentum, especially as the humanitarian concerns built and built and built). And in the end, Strauss was probably right about Oppenheimer, he was a man trying to put the genie back in the bottle without regretting having let the genie out in the first place. Complicated man, not necessarily a good one, but one that maybe I understand after watching the movie.

But that end scene... It gave me fucking chills make no mistake. Even if the rest of the movie probably didn't quite have the strength of that scene's conviction.

As for Barbie... She's everything.

No seriously, while with Oppenheimer I'm having complicated thoughts about whether it's possible for that movie to be truly anti-war if it never shows war, or anti nuclear proliferation if it never show a single victim, with Barbie I'm just like... Hell yeah this is cinema.

It probably also shares some of Oppenheimer's flaws, not quite going all the way when it comes to its themes but also shares the fact it was made with buckets of talent, buckets of money, and with an infectious love of movies as an art form.

Possibly I'd have more thoughts about Barbie if that had been the movie I'd seen first, and had more time to stew on it, but as it is trying to understand a Nolan film might have fried my brain for the day.

Broad strokes though: loved the camp, loved the singing and dancing, loved the humour, loved the heart, loved the examination of gender and society, wish it was more queer, wish it had more bitting critiques of corporations, Barbie is everything.

#barbie #barbie movie #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #pyro's thoughts

[dangerous-advantage]

(yagi-no-eda here~)

Totally would circle back /pos. I’m also pretty new to the fandom!

My wife has liked Usagi Yojimbo and associated stuff for years but it’s only this summer that my brain has allowed me to really get into it, and make it past the first 2-3 comics. Not for lack of trying - it was just never the right time in an ADHD way*. Something always would distract me. I’ve inhaled all the comics I can in just the last couple of months and yeah, Stan came at me with a steel chair too. I did not expect …this whole situation. I’ve been a fandom lurker since 1999 and yet suddenly I have blog I use near daily, a sketchbook, and bunch of fic WIPS...

Mainly because I am Unwell over UY.

I have accepted my fate. This is always going to be a Thing now.

Though I did admittedly also inhale TMNT 2003 and Rise.

Travels with Jotaro is one of my favourite volumes, but I’m also weirdly into Bridge of Death rn and just….in general having a moment over Usagi’s time with Mifune. To the point I’m doodling intros for a fake show called The Mifune Years. He had this whole expected future and friends - denied.

* to be fair this is also the summer I found out its def ADHD driving this media analysis machine I call a brain

Hope this was an okay way to get back to you! /lil anxious

Feel free to network (or share thoughts) in my tags anytime, I love hearing what other people think. Also happy to chat anytime. Or feel free to tell me to back off and that's chill too :)

(been waiting to answer this for when i had more time but gave in; should be working on my fic(s) but you know how it is lmao. stay tuned for a very long post, because i love talking about things with people, especially things i like haha

very cool to see another person very passionate about this series! i grew up on 2003 (and the 90's movies-- my parents had the third one on cassette and i remember i wore that fucker out lmao) but it was always more of a "scattered interest" rather than something i was fully pulled into

i started getting into rise (read: The Algorithm came for me) probably mid-July of last year, but didn't fully fall into it until after the movie came out. it renewed my interest in tmnt overall, and i've been here ever since!

i did attempt to watch the usagi chronicles a couple of times, and i remember thinking they were fun but not really my thing. (i definitely want to revisit it, even though i know it won't hold a candle to usagi yojimbo. it does look fun in a silly way, which i can get behind.)

i knew vaguely about how big usagi yojimbo was, and that it was a commitment, but i'm surprised how quickly it sucked me in. i've never been super interested in stuff within the genre, but damn if it doesn't satisfy the autism. entire chapters devoted to infodumping about the edo period of japan? sign me the fuck up!

i especially did not expect how much it would make me feel. like. wow. ouch. usagi is just Some Guy but he is also so well characterized and you really feel for his internal conflict, 10/10.

i've been looking for series with older protagonists, especially those more focused on the familial/platonic aspect rather than romantic (i am just an nd queer on the interweb, can you blame me for yearning for found family?), but hadn't found any i really liked other than the tarot sequence by kd edwards (very good read, would highly recommend.)

also not to be a nerd but ohhhh my god i am so obsessed with the plot with mifune.

like i know the series takes place after that, and after the fallout of that, but just. wow. imagine devoting your entire being to another, to the point where you would readily die for them and their word, and then they die. they die, and you did everything you could to honor them in that death, but they're still gone.

like... that emptiness stays with you. you don't just get over that. maybe it's the "being raised in a cult" but wow, do i empathize with that.

idk if we explore more about the fallout/exact history with mifune/immediately following mifune's death but there is so much writing potential there. if i was not embroiled within turtle hell and 50,000 words deep in a multi-chapter fic already, i would absolutely write something for it.

like. this is adjacent to your interest in the topic, but can you just imagine (/rhetorical /general you.) as far as we know, he spent five days on the battlefield before he made it out to the tangled skein.

(which is one of my favorite additions like good god holy shit. that is so cool and angsty. your lord, days after dying, appears as a fucking ghost and saves you. like, if i were to be silly and funky, i would absolutely headcanon that as the reason that he was able to stand up and continue on. because i mean... what else? what else could motivate you to stand up once more after something like that?)

(well. honor. but mifune is the physical manifestation of honor in the narrative, so same difference? it's like both thematically significant and emotionally significant and-- ok im shutting up now. but i could talk for days, istg.)

but like. how do you reconstruct yourself from that? we see him holding tight to this sense of honor, even after his lord is gone, sent reeling (adrift in the waves) with only his soul and moral compass to hold to.

which makes it hurt so much more when we see these ideals of honor-- this ghost of a man, of a life, still haunting him years after the event-- still woven through the narrative, made to specifically conflict his deepest wants.

i joke about it a lot on my fic discord (i have a whole channel called 'father-material' devoted to just pictures of him hanging out with/taking care of kids), but something that seems very important to him is wanting to be a father figure, and wanting these connections to family and friends.

but that is contrasted against these ideas of honor, the very thing he built and rebuilt his foundation off of after it was torn away from him. and it's just so incredibly painful but also it makes sense, because he can't just give up the side of himself that is a samurai. too much of his person, his characterization, is built off of this.

to see it constantly clash with this want to settle down and finally rest, devote himself to his relationships/family rather than the code of bushido-- the very essence of honor itself-- ourgh ourgh ourgh its so good

(put aside the fact that he once said he could never serve another lord, and we know from the story that the idea of a "lord" can be more than just a person... he never stopped serving mifune, not truly. he still upholds the ideas of honor that mifune stood for/represented. as if his lord never truly left him.)

...i was going to say more, but then i realized this turned into a whole-ass mini-analysis, so i'm forcing myself to stfu. but basically: i have feelings about this series, man (/gender neutral).

anyway. if you ever do put something together, i would love to read/follow it! if i ever wrote something, it would probably be exploring the direct fallout of losing mifune, so hey, different niches but similar (:

also: never be anxious about talking to me ever in any way possible. i will probably be even more annoying than you in tags/asks/everything under the sun, and i do genuinely love talking to people who share my interests (typically about those interests.) i like to pretend i am an internet Cool Guy, however, it is a flimsy veneer to hide all the cringefail swaglessness and unending mental illness about my blorbos

(...i am so tempted to just invite you to my og turtle discord server so i can annoy you about usagi on the regular. also about what my reimagining of yuichi would be, because i have so, so many ideas.

i will refrain, but if you would be interested, it has been kinda dead as of late, so it would be nice to enrich the ecosystem a little by slowly collecting other usagi-interested individuals and slowly taking it over, one by one (/j /lh).)

anyway, same thing goes for me with my posts/asks/reblogs/messages/whatever. i am so very earnest, so if that puts you off, that's very chill and fine. however, as long as you're down to vibe, i am similarly down to vibe >:D

i once more apologize for this monstrosity of a reply. i would say it won't happen again, but my reading comprehension apparently does not extend to the "all things in moderation" maxim. instead i choose maximalism (to the max)

(sorry for that joke. yeah that will also happen again. sorry. /lh /pos)

#confessionals #i love my moots #many-wings #@many-wings #usagi yojimbo #uy #miyamoto usagi #long post #tw long post #thank you for the ask!! #i could talk about this stuff forever haha #also congrats on the realization/diagnosis!! #(: #i hope this was all coherent #(i am a bit mentally unwell about this series if you somehow couldn't tell /lh) #you do not know how much i have wanted to scream about this to someone. you *do not know.* /pos #i love all my moots but they are not aware of how much space uy takes up in my brain constantly all the time #usagi yojimbo analysis #miyamoto usagi analysis #(feel like i should tag it as that haha) #i know i know i know i should be working on 'it was futile' but this has inspired me to do that quick uy analysis post i was thinking about #so look out for that (usagi be upon ye) #oh hey that's a good uy tag. mine now #usagi be upon ye #also you reminded me i wanted to make an uy sideblog. i never make side blogs but very few of my moots are into uy as well #so i might as well contain it elsewhere /lh #the name i wanted is gone but it's fine i can work with it

[crystalelemental]

Demo for Triangle Strategy complete. Did both options for the split path.

Story-wise, things were slow to pick up, and I wouldn't exactly say that they've gotten better in that regard, but there's at least a slight hook. Granted, because I read the notes and such, but it counts.

I'll start with the less exciting path. Hyzante feels kinda bland to me. It's really, really transparent what's going on and generally what their deal is. "All are equal under the goddess, do not ask about the slave class in the salt mines." Their equality is completely fabricated, unsurprisingly, and the chapter's battle is going to do all in its power to really hammer in that this is not a good place. Though its means of doing so is, admittedly, super fucking funny to me. Yeah, this rogue researcher stole documents and is running off with them because he wants to be in control of his own research. Like...my dude. We know the names of famous physicians in this center. Fame and notoriety and your name attached to your work is still a thing. The only reason for you to do this is because you want royalties along with it. The ice mage talks about a more reasonable aspect - being told what to research rather than having creative freedom in your pursuits - but that's not what the battle is about. Hyzante, as a result, just feels kinda middling to me as a route. I have very little interest beyond its ties to Frederica's people.

Aesfrost, by comparison, is kinda neat. They want to push the notion of meritocracy, where everyone is free to do what brings them fulfillment. Except for the part where they're poor, and this absolute freedom means corruption at the highest levels as soldiers are in on illicit salt trades. But like. At least the group there feel like people. Hyzante feels very stale, in part because no one there exudes any kind of personality beyond worship and all that. Aesfrost is a colorful group, with Dragan being super ambitious, Thalas being a little snot, Erica seeming like she's the smarter of those siblings but not in a position to act, that one guy you meet on the way in who seems super chill with Roland, and even the head of the nation who has an introduction that...kinda sums up my feelings on the general presentation.

During your interaction with him, he asks what you think of this joint mining venture. This is like the third time someone asked me this, and my response has been consistent: "it's a good venture that will benefit everyone equally." And he's the first to kinda push back on that, replying "So you think just because the spoils are equally shared, that will bring peace? Since when have men ever sought to be equal to their peers?" And that's such a great introduction to this guy. What a great way to showcase exactly how this guy things, and where his values are as someone who believes fully in this meritocracy and its necessity.

But they keep this going into Serenoa asking what he means, and getting the line "I can't stand people who would impose equality on others." And it feels like it shifts into a very heavy-handed presentation.

Which was the major issue with Hyzante too, and kinda what I'm setting up to expect with this. Hyzante was super on the nose, going really far out of its way to push how much everything is a lie, and make sure there's an understanding that despite outward statements of equality, there's a clear slave class and ruling class, and absolutely no potential for upward mobility. Aesfrost is a little more dynamic, but that line about imposing equality feels like it's very strongly making sure you know this guy isn't just ambitious and all about competition, he feels like any intervention for equality is a net negative, and sometimes there are just losers cast into the dregs. It's not like...embarrassingly over-done, but give how long these intro chapters go for story-wise, it's the kind of thing that could've been parsed down.

Now, the flip side of this is that, with the supplemental bits, you actually get a great picture of why things are like this, and it's really interesting background that is keeping me engaged with what's going on. The book in question talks about the peace agreement following the Saltiron War, and how nations fared. Glenbrook is apparently a big name, and has access to a lot of general resources that keeps them in a strong position. Hyzante has access to salt, which is a necessity for life, and has always lived luxuriously as a result. Aesfrost, by comparison, has iron, which isn't as essential, and exists in a harsher climate with less to offer than Glenbook.

The book really only mentions that trade was hard for Aesfrost, and that during the war, their already small population suffered the most casualties. What you can pick up between the lines is that this goes back way before the war, where their position was always pretty bad, and likely part of the catalyst for war was their demands for better opportunity. Hyzante, as a nation all about rigid class structure and hegemony of power to their ruling class whether it admits it or not, has an invested interest in keeping the rival nation under the control of their salt distribution. Given the comment on losses during the war, it sounds like Aesfrost was poised to lose, and had the war carried on, they likely would've been in an even worse position as Hyzante could make more forceful demands as the victor. But the peace that exists isn't exactly beneficial for them either, they're the clear loser even in the peace accord, and the main takeaway you're given is that the people of Aesfrost as largely in poverty.

It takes some supplemental material to get a bit of this, but I think overall it's painting an interesting landscape with a lot of questions about the world. I'm enjoying it and plan to keep going. Apparently the nearest GameStop to me (like half an hour away) has one in stock, so I'm hoping to pick it up tomorrow when I get Unicorn Overlord. Unicorn Overlord comes first, I really liked that one, but I'd like to get both if I can.

#triangle strategy

[atundratoadstool]

Hello there! Thank you for sharing so much amazing information abt Dracula! Tbh your posts are making me nostalgic for literature classes, and that is HIGH praise coming from me (points to blog title).

Anyway, I'm really grappling with Jack Seward's character right now as I (re)read ahead in Dracula. I like him a lot, especially early on, but his treatment of Renfield is, shall we say, not quite up to the ethical standards of the modern day, and the way Jack talks about him gets uhhh, pretty fuckin uncomfy, as I know you're aware ("pet lunatic," indeed)!

In this vein, I'm curious to know more about the history of psychiatry at the time, both the actual practice and the public perception thereof, so I can begin to tease out how much of his behavior was accepted practice, vs how much was Bram Stoker's PERCEPTION of accepted practice, vs how much was, in fact, intended to not look Super Great to contemporary readers (and thus, among other things, contribute to the hints at Jack's own possible mental deterioration, as well as to his rather overly "cerebral" personality).

As far as I can tell, this is something you've studied in some depth, so I was wondering if you could recommend any resources? Preferably free or easily accessible ones, since I don't have logins for any academic institutions or anything.

Please feel free to take your time answering this btw, I know it might be a tall order and I can be patient! I also understand if you just don't have time or energy, so no worries if you can't get to it.

Thank you either way!

[Spoilers and content warning: Discussions of Seward and Renfield later in the text; mentions of vivisection and psychiatric abuse]

Answering this somewhat late, as I have--in fact--had a lot of things draining my time and energy. As always, I'll open with a caveat that it's been a while since Dracula was my primary research topic, so new and exciting insights into Jack Seward may have cropped up since I was last writing about him.

I by no means have a comprehensive understanding of nineteenth-century psychiatry, although combing my tags and my website will turn up some of the specific research I did for little details concerning Dracula (I discussed things a little bit here) . However, I will say that one of the better hints--in my opinion--as to Stoker's intentions for Seward and his perceptions of medical ethics is the extent to which Seward (and later Van Helsing) parrot statements made by Bram Stoker's brother William Thornley Stoker, who was--among other things--a brain surgeon, a visiting physician at St. Patrick's Hospital (a public asylum) in Dublin, and the inspector for Ireland under the vivisection act. There are elements of Dracula pretty clearly lifted from Thornley's articles, and without spoiling too much, R. M. Renfield appears to have had several elements of his character borrowed from an actual case study on one of Thornley's patients (available here, but be warned it has a major spoiler for later events).

We have every indication that Stoker was on good terms with Thornley and respected his medical knowledge (Thornley provided Stoker with notes as to medical procedures in the text), and I feel the choicest bit of Thornleyism we get in the text is a later moment where Seward, in what strikes me as an absolutely chilling passage, compares is plans for Renfield to vivisectionist experiments:

It would almost be worth while to complete the experiment. It might be done if there were only a sufficient cause. Men sneered at vivisection, and yet look at its results to-day! Why not advance science in its most difficult and vital aspect – the knowledge of the brain? Had I even the secret of one such mind – did I hold the key to the fancy of even one lunatic – I might advance my own branch of science to a pitch compared with which Burdon-Sanderson's physiology or Ferrier's brain-knowledge would be as nothing. If only there were a sufficient cause!

This echoes Thornley's pro-vivisectionist sentiments in the aforementioned case study, where he says:

To what, I ask, do I owe the knowledge on which this judgement was founded? Largely to the humane and benevolent investigationsof those biologist who weak, credulous, or mistaken people are actively pelting with the verbal filth of prejudice and ignorance--people who would prefer that this man, formed the image of his Maker, should die, rather than their feeble sentiment be offended by a painless experiment on an ape.

HOWEVER, it is also worth noting here that both Seward and Thornley specify the necessity of an overriding cause, and it is highly debatable whether Seward has one. Thornley elsewhere in his writing takes an anti-vivisectionist stance when it comes to procedures he deems to be unnecessary:

"[…] the arguments of want of necessity and cruelty apply to most, or all, of the experiments in illustration of lectures. Such demonstrations cannot but be demoralising to the young men and women who witness their performance. They seem to me an offense against humanity. (from this 1907 report)

The big question I have here, to my mind, is whether we should read Seward's treatment of Renfield as having "a sufficient cause," and I think how you answer this question will inform your understanding as to where Stoker probably stood with regards to Jack's ethics as a character and whether he intended us to read Jack as unnerving (although, as any 21st century literary scholar, I must offer a quick nod to the author being dead and Jack's creepiness not being contingent on Stoker's intentions for him).

If you want to take a deep dive into the sources with which I was most familiar back when I was fiddling with this argument and penning my unified theory of Seward, Renfield, and Dracula, I will link to my own masters thesis on the matter, which should have a pretty decent biography with regards to the works I consulted when I last really thought through this conundrum.

#Bram Stoker #Dracula #Dracula Daily #Jack Seward #R. M. Renfield #William Thornley Stoker #grad school life

[seakrisp]

Wednesday spoilers: even though what ill say has been said already but I need to finally let it out.

again these are just some of my personal thoughts and what I think!

I'm so happy alot of ppl agrees the the "two main possible male lOvE IntERest" had little to no chemistry with her.

but first,

I'll start with everything I like:

I love everything in the show except the "love triangel romance/ romance in general" that they pushed unto Wednesday. it doesn't rlly add anything. Tyler would have had more impact if he had been a platonic trustworthy friend.

i love the Christina ricci's character was the real villain. that's a really nice bow on everything.

I love we actually saw alot of The Addams Family Dynamic in the show! like in this rendition and universe ykyk. Also always great to have more Gomez and Tish and they're relations with the town and Nevermore.

ofc how could I forget, Jenna Ortega's performance was phenomenal. I really did like the casting.

ofc wendays and enid's dynamic was everything I expected and more. everything about them I loved.

I hope we get to see more bianca bcs I'm curious to her and wendays more chilled rivalry/frenemies dynamic will be like. now that bianca don't really give a shit about xiaver. (hopefully. yall are too good for that boy. that boy needs therapy.)

Enid is literally a Walking Queer Allegory. I said what I said.

wenday and Thing are everything to me. we day's friendship with Eugene to me as well.

oke. now my complainly part/things j wished that happened instead and parts that made me say "that could've been written, chosen better.."

I've TRIED to be unbiased while watching, mostly in the "romance aspect". and I think they should've really just focused on its being about Platonic relationships yk.. they like, they didn't even have a ball to drop Yk. Like you expect Me to believe these wet limp dick white boys are gonna be.. WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 'S.. Potential.. love interest..?? youre joking.

the most annoying part about this was both Xiaver and Tyler were so... fucking entitled. like, WOW. a Girl wasn't mean to you and spoke to you with very basic surface level human decency!

Xiaver, just has a Resting Bitch Face. He didn't do anything wrong but like he's still shithead. And was annoying. (to me)

Tyler, I really wanted him to be the MLM Best Friend :(

but nay, I was wronged ofc. Tyler at first didn't really bother me as much. first few episodes, HE'S JUST SOME WHITE GUY. then it progresses He Annoys Me With a Burning Passion.

especially, That's ONE SCENE. THE "YOU'RE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS WEDNESDAY WHERE DO I STAND@!?#?#!@????" OH PIPE DOWN YOU ONLY GOT UR DATE IDEA BCS ENID DID THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY.

my thoughts were like: there's no way. Wednesday liked this boy. she's be manipulated and gaslit.

And yeah Last few Episodes I was correct. it gave me more reason to hate Tyler's ass and I think he should've been brutally murder yk.

I love hunter doohan's performance though, thanks for taking one for the team King <3 He played the bland straight white boy monstour murder.

Now, Enid and Ajax. they were fine.. Ajax is the basic textbook goofy, nice guy who does weed, that just has madusa snake hair—

and omg I laughed so hard when he stoned himselfed like that, it's so perfect and stupid that a teenager with that ability would have the happen to them. it was so fucking funny to me.—

they're relationship is so shallow and mid to me idk. I mean, they do act like a typical teenage het couple.

it's just that, Enid liking a boy who she barely talks obsessesing over him but then also when she got stood up by him. Enid started liking another boy that she just talked to sharing same interests but mostly again just very bare minimum.

I'm not saying she's a shallow person, more say.. yk just a subconsciously finding and filling that, " you have to have a nice boyfriend bcs that's how the world is supposed to be " box...

in short yk, compulsory hetero normativity.

like cmon.. WHAT DO YOU MEAN UR MOM WANTS YOU TO GO TO "CONVERSION CAMP" ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU WANTED HER TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOLFED OUT JUST IN TIME YOU WANTED TO SAVE WEDNESDAY? what do you mean you didn't run into ur bf's after something traumatic but instead run into ur roommates to give her a hug like she'll never let go?

yeah. basically most of my complaints are in the romance. it's Criminally hetero. and I've dealt with alot of hetero relationships endgame media that would have made more sense and thematical it was queer.. augh. I'm gonna watch warrior nun.

I genuinely hope they were very intentional with writing Enid and Wednesday literally the only one with romantic tension and queer subtext..

like, cmon. Wenclair has paralleled Gomez and Tish so much in this show. be for fucking real.

okay that's it. most of what I've said has been said. last thing I wanna say is thank you for your time and effort to read this and.. Wednesday is both queer coded and autism coded.

#seajjae rambles #rant #thoughts and headcanons #netflix wednesday #Wednesday addams #THE ROMANCE IN THIS SHOW GIVE ME THE SAME PAIN AS I GET FROM WATCHING WICKED THE MUSICAL I SHIT YOU NOT!!! #the kiss scenes was so horribly hard for me to watch. usually in neutral face but in general kiss scenes are pre difficult for me to watcg #no matter if it's queer or het #but the kiss scenes here then me already being tired of all the lame heteroshit that's happening made me snap #anyway I loved the show even though I shit on the romance so much #this is like stranger things but I don't love stranger things but I enjoy watching it #but its also rlly bad romance #unless they planned this and are actually setting up for wenclair maybe hopefully a girl can dream #I'm done #finally got that out of my system

[schuylerpeck]

Hi Sky! I have legit been following your blog & art for over ten years at this point and if I may, I absolutely adore you and your writing. I've been a fan since you did the writing prompts here on tumblr and you have inspired me in so many ways.

I have recently decided that I would like to go public with my poems too, but it's really scary to make yourself so vulnerable while wanting your art to be seen at the same time. I was wondering if you had any advice for a baby poet on where to start or what to look out for? Is Instagram a good place to publish poems for the first time? Do you recommend using a watermark or some trademark symbol to prevent people from stealing?

If there is any time you would be willing to take out of your day to answer some of these questions, it would be highly appreciated 💕 Thank you for being the person you are, I hope you are well.

sweet friend !! <3

ten years!!! my goodness, I'm sending you a tight embrace.

how exciting! (terrifying, yes, but exciting!) first, I want to say that whether you do decide to share your writing with the world, or if you change your mind and keep it to yourself—you are still a writer. that doesn't change with where you're writing it or who may be reading it. <3 that being said, I have a lot of tricky thoughts on this matter, so I hope any of it can be of help to you.

I'd think about what your interest is in sharing your work (if you're looking for community, personal interest/relief, publicity, etc.). that way, you can manage your expectations, set a practice or a schedule (if needed), and hopefully bypass any initial feelings of rejection.

I'll let you know now that the fear of vulnerability never really goes away. (haha, sorry<3) 10+ years of this and my stomach still tangles itself sometimes before I click "Post." I remember when I first started sharing poetry, it felt like I was flinging myself off a great height, hoping there was a soft place to land at the bottom. after a while, I grew an appreciation of feeling brave. every so often, a stranger might send me some kind words; that they knew the feeling I was talking about, or needed to hear what I had to say. I began feeling more proud of my writing style and ideas. those aspects (which can take time to cultivate) continue to make it feel worth it.

the last two questions, I'll answer here. instagram has its purpose, but it is very important to remember that if you have any intention of reaching an audience, you will constantly be working to please an algorithm. (again, intentions are important here. hoping to just share with friends every once and a while? no problem. go for it!) I am so, so, so grateful tumblr has been the first home (and main home) for my writing. as much as this site has changed over the years and definitely has its flaws, it's felt like a more welcoming environment and has a way of sharing art that aligns with (most) of my ideals. (less competitive mindset, doesn't demand a constant feed/output, no one knows/cares how many followers you have, you can never post a selfie/be completely anonymous and it's chill.) I don't have that much experience with watermarks (and thankfully, only a few instances of plagiarism), so I can't speak to that regard as confidently. although, I think I pivoted to posting my poetry in picture format to deter stealing. you still take risks posting anything online, so it's up to you, but I see people frequently using watermarks without issue.

again, I'm so excited for you! "thank you" seems to fall short in how grateful I feel for such long-held support. please know it means the world to me. I can't wait to see your work (should you decide to share) and am wishing you many green clover-filled fields of good luck. <3 mwah!

#asks #writing advice

[jeremy-queere]

I didn't put these in author's notes because it would be pretty pointless lol. But for some reason, this last chapter had a ton of references. I'm writing them mostly to purge them from my mind. I'm not counting references to Be More Chill stuff because that's a given.

I wanted to reference Nymm_At_Night's fic Riptide, but they have shared some choice aspects of the AU that are unfortunately not public / fic canon, so I gave that a pass for now - the phrasing just didn't come to me (unlike when I hyperlinked Everybody Loves You in the fic). Hm. Maybe I can edit that now, actually. Just name drop "Riptide" in there somewhere.

OK, cool, that's done and now it's a reference. Nice.

Also, I namedropped Umineko in there for no real reason. I dunno. Grey oceans/skies just mean umineko, and you can't mention seagulls without thinking about it.

Maybe this doesn't count as a reference, but I did grow up going to roller rinks for school events, so that chapter was viscerally familiar (except that on my best days, I was mostly-competent at skating). If you've never been, here's some inspo.

(I'm doing my best to find poorly lit flipphone footage because that's part of the experience.)

(At its most hardcore, you're supposed to do the flapping, butt wiggling, and clapping while skating quickly around the rink as normal. No one did this because no one was good enough lol.)

ummm Geek Squad is of course the name of the tech support company at Best Buy

The Prince song is definitely going to come back.

I feel like the intro is very SQUIPpish ("I just need your body") but the chorus might be a little more on-brand for the fic :)

The other songs referenced are Heathers once again, which I'm guessing most people got:

And Meatloaf, which is not especially SQUIP-approved, but that wasn't at the forefront of Jeremy's worries at that point:

The "implications" is a reference to the Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, and be grateful because I made this custom little clip for yall:

(Another song from that musical is on the playlist, actually, for similarly obvious reasons:)

#ooim #only one is mine #Youtube

[shadowofthelamp]

About the making Zim either just one dimensional villain or a misguided good guy: Besides the (like you said) he is not easy to get right, I think it also comes down to how some people are not aware things like people can bullies and bullied at the same time. (I was and I am not proud of it. I had really similar personality as Zim, but I also shared some traits with Dib and Gir.) So they try to squeeze them into only one of the roles, resulting the character loosing its complexity. I remember watching a video and the reviewer shot down the "these characters are mutually abusive to each other" take, because according to her "abuse survivors can't be abusive, because they wouldn't want other people to go through the same horrible experiences". I get where is she coming from, but that's not always true.

Also: I think most of your Zims are characterized well, since they are still not good people and you don't make them for not responsible for their actions. He isn't justified by the narrative and Dib is not afraid to call him out. And he still has his delusions about the Tallests in the main au, so it doesn't follow the "Zim finally realized he was being tricked" formula, it's more of an unspoken agreement beetween people letting Zim have the cake and eat it too. Yeah, he is still totally working for the Empire and also lives a domestic family life, nothing weird here! xD I just think it's funny how everybody knows they need to let him have this for the peace. And you also have some darker aus too, so it's not just fluff. So I appreaciate your Zim overall. There is one thing I don't agree about the characterization, but I still find it funny on it's own right, and it is excuted well, and I understand why you see that aspect that way. :)

(+Your Zib is one of my favourites.)

Gonna actually answer this one properly bc yeah, sometimes things are mutually unhealthy, and people who are hurt can sometimes go on to hurt others. Certainly not always, but sometimes. How Zim reacts to the world is a product of his environment growing up as well as his personality and convictions- it's part of why human Zims are really, really hard to nail, because it's so hard to replicate what made him Zim to begin with. I'm proud of swap Zim bc I think I got pretty close, considering.

Yeah, he chills slightly over time but he still believes in the Empire- the Tallests (Red in particular) actually said 'keep going with your weird baby mission thing as long as it keeps you all the way over there on Earth', so his 'secret mission' has been still left intact, although over the years the efforts to actually conquer fell more to 'I had an idea and I want to see if it works/I want to make something that annoys me go away/I want to impress Dib or Twix'. He does still try to take over fully on occasion though, and by this point Dib is just 'whelp, if he actually does it, it's not like it'd make anything that much worse.'

Hey, since he is such a complicated little bug, it makes sense nobody would agree on everything, and I think that's good, it leads to more interesting discussions as long as we can all respect each other!

(And thanks, I still like him a lot too! One day maybe I'll get back to doing more with him...)

#asks #anonymous #iz

[afamer-112a-blogposts]

Blog Post #1: January 22, 2023

I’ve never once been good at finishing an assigned movie or reading. Even after starting school at UCLA, I’ve gotten worse at even starting them. With this in mind, taking this class was a huge gamble on myself and my ability to remain disciplined and focused. However, after watching “Wake” and reading “The Comet”, I have absolutely no doubt in my ability to keep up.

The short film, “Wake”, directed by Bree Newsome, instantly sucked me in and refused to let me come back up for air. I loved the camera work, lighting, and creative genius that this film brings to the table. Especially considering its low, short-film budget, Newsome does an excellent job of delivering a chill to her audience by utilizing creative practical effects and combining elements of societal pressure from the church women forcing our protagonist to keep up her calm front amid the chaos that is unfolding as a result of the conjuring. As her life unravels, Newsome uses fewer words to describe how Charmaine is feeling– this is because her face and actions tell us all that we need to know. I’m really excited to see where this class goes, as I’m already enjoying the film aspects of it. I’m looking forward to situating each story in its historical context as we learn more about each of the time periods and break down each piece of media together. W.E.B. DuBois’s “The Comet” impacted me similarly, as I saw its impact so many years later on the film industry and the Black Horror genre as a whole was striking. I also appreciated how DuBois pointed out that race was entirely socially constructed, as the white woman in the story believes herself to be alone when she accepts her company. However, the group of white people at the end of the piece demonstrates that race constructs thrive in society and cannot exist alone– which is a horrific concept in itself.

I was not expecting this class to be as movie-heavy as it is. It is so exciting to see a class formatted like this, as it not only gives us a different flavor of academia but sharing so many movies and written works by Black authors and filmmakers proliferates the audience that the media reaches, sharing stories of individuals that otherwise would not have been shared. I love that we will be able to watch so many incredible movies and understand the roots of such an important genre and how historically impactful Black Horror is.

[piduai]

Hello sugio-hate anon here just wanted to clarify that I meant fujobait as in the actual anime team seems to push it as a selling point, otherwise what people do on the internet involving fictional characters is not anyone's concern really... Everybody can agree that there are much bigger issues in the world than peoples interpertation of fictional men (if you can even call it an issue in that aspect). I don't engage in arguments over it or anything bc thats just lame lol. But yeah I just wanted to share my own thoughts regarding those pairings and their popularity rather then sending hate to those who enjoy it. Do whatever you want with fiction✌️ The actual anime butchered more than any fan of the series ever could anyway so it doen't even matter.

stop when i see die girlies gushing about this or that magazine illustration i'm like line hook and sinker huh... it's like you got... no i shan't say it. but good for them, good for them. i'll always be envious of people who are pandered to by commercial projects because like wow you create demand... and you come in such large numbers that it's actually met, and you get what you want. must be nice.

but i get wanting to complain about them too because if you're not one of them it really is super hard to be around them and to be in fandom spaces because it's usually a choice between two evils (twitter/tumblr with the fujos or reddit/4chan with the dudebros). though in 2020-2022 i was in a big gk server and i find that it somehow struck the middle ground, when there's a lot of people from different corners of the internet it's easier to keep things neutral/civil and to regulate the annoying stuff, when someone would come up and start talking about their yaois they'd get shunned (kind of), when someone came up and started talking about how sugimoto should totes wife asirpa up when she grows up they'd also get shunned. we just talked about the manga. it was a nice and chill and fun place while it lasted. at least for me, because i used it as an outlet to dump all if my incoherent thoughts on whatever unlucky bastard was there to listen.

tbh i'm fine with the first 3 seasons, geno is piss poor and inexperienced but there was love there, you know? even if it was awkward at times. but s4 was a disaster, or at least the 5 or 6 episodes that aired. i decided to drop the anime right before they announced its hiatus lmao the timing couldn't have been better. not sure if i'll pick it up again after it comes back 🫡

#like 1. i don't have time and 2. if they butcher church arc i'll cry #anon

[dzpenumbra]

2/5/23

I haven't really been looking forward to this, to be honest. When I sit in silence and let my mind wander, it just goes right back to my loss. How could it not? I lost my former service dog to aggressive and out-of-nowhere cancer in June, and my cat over a nerve-wracking stretch of a week that led to organ failures. And I moved in between. It's hard to not be utterly disoriented.

This year has really just been nothing but grief. Mourning. And the transformations, the major redirection of life through massive loss. Like removing a giant boulder from the middle of a stream, it affects everything.

I don't know if I'm ready to talk about my loss. Part of me is being self-protective of judgement, which is flat-out fucking stupid. But most of it is genuinely not feeling okay engaging with those feelings at the moment, a.k.a. needing a break from that tingling vacuum feeling in the core of my heart chakra. So... maybe I can take this time to address why I feel like it's not okay to address those feelings. And the judgement. The tangential aspects of how this major loss is affecting me, rather than discuss the loss itself.

For context, I got Max when she was about 2 months old. She was born in the city where I live now, less than a mile away, which was a big part of why I decided to move here. I got her in the summer of 2006 (I think, I'm fairly certain), after I got back from the shitshow that was "living" in Littleton, Colorado. I might be getting my timeline wrong, it might have been 2007, either way. A long fuckin time. We got through a lot together.

I have been tempted to post on support group forums on reddit to... kinda just find people to talk to at a time like this. I told my mom yesterday, after a pretty big misunderstanding, that I really just wanted/needed to be around people. To not be alone, right now. But that's way too much to put on one person who's already very overwhelmed. Needing to be with people is a very strong feeling, and very alien to not be sharing my living space with a living being. I am, to the core, an animal person. Perhaps more than most people that even apply that label to themselves. I have been most of my life. Though at times I may have been naïve, childish and misguided as an adolescent - Kristoff Krane and I share a similar mournful tale on that front - I have tried to view all animals as peers. Peers who simply communicate in less complicated ways, and think/function/live in less complicated ways. We are just a more complex version of the same thing they are. I don't know if that makes sense to someone who didn't divine this concept from its inception, but... yeah. I learned pretty young, in my huge amounts of time alone with animals, to communicate with them in their language. Through their vocalizations, their body language, eye contact, etc. Sure, I'm not an expert behaviorist who has the accumulated training and knowledge of generations... but --- a group of young people is making a bunch of noise in the hallway... it's 1 AM... But, it's a Sunday, so I can chill on that grumpy old man shit. XD --- I don't have a doctorate in animal psychology or behavior, but I've always been pretty good at finding common ground. Maybe it's something I'd like to study, maybe dog training and that kind of thing could be a well-paying thing I do. I definitely have the experience. I was even going to do it... way back in like... 2012? Something like that? And live in a family friend's barn while they trained me in North Carolina... but it just... didn't pan out, I guess?

Why am I talking about this? The kids distracted me... Um... attachment. Yes. Bonding. There it is. Okay, so since I actually... have full-on conversations with animals... and I've spent the majority of my life, the majority of my social interactions with... animals. Not humans... I have built up very close bonds with creatures that people in my own family view as... lesser life forms. Like livestock... Like... living furniture or something. And I deeply struggle with that objectification. I understand that it serves a purpose, but... I do not like it. It inhibits my ability and opportunities to express love, to bond. Merely at the benefit of my own personal emotional protection. And the pain I feel right now, it is because I bonded with her - with both of my girls - at a very deep level. We were family. Through and through. With all the ups and downs, cherished memories and shameful regrets, that come with family.

And yet, I fear speaking in a public forum, asking for support in dealing with this... because I fear someone is going to go... It hurts me to even give this sentiment a voice... "It's just a cat, dude." I've heard it a thousand times. I don't even want to see it written hypothetically here. It makes my stomach turn. And the feeling that would come from reading that? The emotion and sensation that I'm feeling a mild grade of right now? I don't want that. I'm avoiding that. It's like... disgust and anger and peer-pressured shame all blended up into a shitty smoothie. It's like... the opposite of what I'm looking for. So... I've held off. I know it's stupid, really, but... I have. It's been that important for me to avoid that feeling... and knowing what I know about PTSD, it's likely the shame aspect I'm avoiding the most.

I scrolled up to check what else I was going to talk about, to explore. It was the judgement thing... but there was a second thing. I guess it was the avoidance of exploring my loss, her death, here tonight. A big part for me is... kinda trying to control my dream-mindset. My dreams the night before her death were insanely powerful. My dog, Cerry, visited me, she was so surreally vivid. I don't remember the narrative and I really do wish I had written it down, but... it's okay. It's not really a habit anymore. But I know very well how intense reliving that moment that happened just yesterday would be for me. And I do have pretty severe PTSD already. And I'm a very sensitive, emotional person. And I live alone. And I don't have any friends, or anyone to call. So... yeah. With that, I try to be... gentle, and try to not avoid or repress, but gently and kindly redirect to different thoughts, allowing myself to engage with my grief at a different time. I just really need to make sure I have that different time.

The sleep thing I'm being very protective about - I say at 1AM, I really need to go to bed like... ASAP - because I have that doctor's appointment intake on Monday. 8AM. Last night, I fell asleep watching Twitch, then didn't get to bed-bed until... about 4:30. Now it's 1. Sleep has been a bit rough. So... I just... I'm gonna do the best I can, but getting my ass in bed before midnight is just... super rare. So I'm really trying to preserve quality of sleep the best I can, to improve my chances of making that appointment.

A lot of these sacrifices, and strategies, etc. are adaptations to extended periods of isolation. Like... if I had a girlfriend... and I woke up from a night terror bawling my eyes out, like I do sometimes, especially when grieving... I would feel much more okay with that. She would comfort me, and hold me, and we would find the good and the love in the haunting memory. And take a painful moment and transmute it into love, into bonding. And of course I would do the same for her. But. When you wake up from a night terror alone? When there's no one there? That's another monster. Especially when you don't even have anyone to call. It's just you waking up and crying, scared, mortified, wanting to scream in anguish. And just... being in that moment. Like... a survivor in a post-apocalypse movie. God... like... I Am Legend, right? I only saw it once, wasn't that part of it? I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, so just skip to the next paragraph it you don't want spoilers but like... didn't his dog die? And there was like a whole grieving process, and he's like... completely alone now? THAT is the kind of thing I've been dealing with for like 5 years now. Sam, right? I remember the emotions around having watched that, despite being much more detached from my emotions back then. I looked up the Wikipedia entry for it and yeah, it's pretty spot on... in an exaggerated way, but like... same effect. I just have to take a more... "endure until the emotional storm passes, process, figure out what to do now" approach than... flying off the handle and seeking vengeance. Especially when you can't just go hunt down angiosarcomas and get revenge, you know?

This whole... avoiding dealing with traumatic thoughts until the time and place is right... that thing? It can turn into OCD real fuckin quick. But yeah, I have some pretty clear-cut examples of avoidance rituals in my family. I'm not perfect, but I've made insane progress considering where I came from. The things I'm struggling with the most are... the bathroom bath mat. Where she was hiding and spent most of the day on her last day. And when I'm doing yoga, I keep expecting to feel her nose up against me. There's that sinking vortex in the chest feeling again. Grief. Loss. Mourning. I don't cherish the bathmat memory, that one is very hard and I have to encounter it every time I pee. That's my ghost in the dark haunted bathroom. The yoga one is more cute, like a Casper ghost. But still hard.

That's as much as I want to talk about that right now. It's just too fresh, honestly. I want to fondly share her memory, I love her so so much. But it's still very recent, and the scary and disturbing images from her last moments come back a lot too right now, so... I really don't want to go there right now.

I'm going to go to bed. But real quick...

I always loved horror movies, especially psychological horror and supernatural horror. Like... Donnie Darko, and Coherence, and Triangle, Paranormal Activity, stuff like that. And post apocalyptic stuff too. I think in a lot of ways I found it... relatable. Even if I didn't know it at the time. Those movies/stories are always - and I've been saying this for like... over 15 years now - about the human condition. Night of the Living Dead was never about zombies, it's about the survivors. Paranormal Activity isn't about the ghost/demon, it's about Katie and Micah. Coherence isn't about time fuckery, it's about the choices the characters made in that world, in that situation. These are tales about how people choose to act in difficult situations. Perhaps advisory, perhaps cautionary. Maybe just... observational. It's really up to you what to do with them, what they mean to you. And these horror movie allegories have helped me a lot as metaphors to make sense of a lot of my mental health. When you've lost everything? You're a post-apocalyptic survivor. Check out those movies and look for a good role model, and beware the bad ones, which can display common pitfalls we can sink into in those situations. When you're grieving? Watch a haunted house movie. Sometimes you're the ghost, sometimes you're the one living in the house. The vibe is just... usually very familiar. Like... Mike Flanagan's ghost movies are super vivid and accurate representations of grief and loss, often like... blatantly obvious. And I have found them helpful.

Maybe it would be good for me to try to write a short horror piece of some kind. A short story? A graphic novel kinda thing? Maybe it could be a good way to process my grief. I'll put a pin in it. 1:30 means late for bed.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you 

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests 

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic 

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village 

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no 

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point 

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it 

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion 

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty 

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait 

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise 

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex 

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice 

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 

having a good time 

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together 

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent 

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know 

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode 

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure 

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble 

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

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