#like thats the level of Growth we are looking at

[japeneselunchtimerush]

Me about Akashi: 🤏🤏🤏

#HE SO TINY #I say as I am 10 cm shorter than him #but to be fair Im taller than teiko akashi so it checks out #can we talk about how he has to look UP at Midorima #Also he looks itty bitty in the third picture #Like really small compared to the others #you know what Im going to assume that this is when everyone else hit their growth spurt while hes still 158cm #its the only explanation #thinking about he was eye level with nijimura's chest #thats how short he was compared to nijimura #it was 21 cm btw #akashi seijuro

[blueskittlesart]

Follow up question (to the one regarding your thoughts on the overall narrative). How did you feel regarding the portrayal of Link and Zelda’s relationship in TotK?

i think it was. really good. i think botw took zelda and link's relationship to the next level in terms of complexity and narrative weight--usually they're just like. casual childhood friends with minor romantic undertones but god. botw gave them so much nuance and complex feelings and interactions with each other which was an incredible thing to see as someone who has been obsessed with them forever. totk, as is a pattern with this game, continued that story BEAUTIFULLY.

while zelda was the driving force of the NARRATIVE in botw, the story itself revolved entirely around link. it was about link healing, link remembering, link learning what had happened to him and hyrule and beginning to fix it. though we were shown zelda's struggle, she was never given the opportunity to heal from it. totk gives her that opportunity. where botw was link's story, totk is ZELDA'S. it's about HER growth and HER healing. and it's fascinating to me how much of a role-reversal totk ended up being for them. in botw, link was placed into a hundred-year sleep and zelda pulled him out of it. in totk, ZELDA is the long-dead hero returning triumphantly for the final battle. the difference between their stories is that link was not given the choice to take that chance, he had it thrust upon him and had to do his healing AFTER the fact. zelda, in contrast, did her healing beforehand (partially in pre-totk hyrule and partially with sonia and rauru) and, as a character who struggles with her own lack of agency, was allowed to MAKE that choice herself, trusting that she had someone looking out for her who could pull her back. the fact that she was able to make that choice is a testament to her own healing process AND to the way in which her relationship with link has progressed. can you imagine zelda "theyre assigning HIM as my knight 🙄" hyrule trusting link enough to place her life in his hands like that??? absolutely not. but they've been through hundreds of years worth of growth together at this point and she trusts him that completely. she trusts him to find her THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE when she doesn't even know HERSELF. totk is at its core about HER and the way in which she and link have grown to love each other. god.

tldr i think they are fucking everything. their love their trust their relationship. the game does not exist if they dont love each other. hyrule falls if they don't love each other. they know each other when they don't know anything else. but noooo we cant have them share a house thats too romantic

#she comes to your aid in the final battle when she doesn't even know herself. she hasnt known herself for thousands of years #but she still knows YOU. she comes to you. she aids you. she KNOWS YOU. AGHHHHHH #totk spoilers #totk liveblog #zelda analysis

[imustbenuts]

more disorganized yakuza culture bordering on religion thoughts

(finished order 7, 8, 0, k1, k2. currently at 3 ch 3)

it feels like the writer went deep into reading about buddhism and religion at one point

im not japanese but a SEAsian uh chinese/hokkien diaspora who happens to be a weab so take this with some grain of salt bc we arent a monolith here

Surface level understanding of buddhism

when it comes to gang and tattoos or in yakuza's case irezumi, theres a general consensus of tats = cool and rebellious in a culture thats largely very collectivist. so getting one is like pointing the middle finger to society

the problem is sometimes tattoos are gotten more for the aesthetics than truly understanding the deeper meaning behind it. an easy example is the dragon itself: its powerful, its strong, it comes and goes, and does good things whenever it wants to. it might get associated with buddhism but like... if you think about it for 3 seconds, it fucking falls apart for 1 reason

gods in buddhism are the maintenance crew for the world's function (rain, nature, etc), and at the same time are supposed to be as part of the cycle and pain as everyone else. meaning, gods arent inherently special, they just happen to be higher beings doing their best to escape the cycle of samsara.

so by that lens, borrowing godhood from god to elevate yourself is... uh. kinda weird. (imo at least).

yet what goes on in 2? ryuji borrows the dragon iconography and tries to achieve dragonhood. kiryu is thematically the dragon but thats kind of all that he is. hes more theme than human at this point.

in yakuza 1 and 2 theres some hint of this surface crap. the story never really goes deep enough exploring the aspects of this cycle of suffering thing. the general message seems to be, suffering happens and builds character. which fucking sucks.

but thats not the real point of the buddhist message. its more suffering is unavoidable, so do your best to reduce it for yourself and others, and roll with it.

The gap and the growth between 1, 2 and 7, 8

looking at 7 and 8 in contrast to 1 and 2 and i think its clearly buddhist as fuck: kasuga ichiban is framed as jesus, but in some buddhist interpretations, jesus qualifies as a boddhisattva, ie someone who clears the condition of escaping samsara but chooses to stay behind to help. and thats what ichiban does. he doesnt judge, he refuses to play into classism bullshit, and forces people to look past it.

buddhism was originally a breakaway from hinduism. where hinduism had a whole caste system forcing people into tiers, buddhism tried breaking it. (and then medieval japan's government turned it into shinto buddhism and shoved everyone into a caste system themself... yeesh.)

meanwhile, in gaiden, kiryu has this bit where he meditates as a monk for enlightenment.

makes me wonder if the writer tried to do something similar and exactly how much buddhist stuff did they read at one point....

oh btw

Kiryu and Kasuga's theme. Dragon and Not-Dragon

ok i fucking caught this:

kiryu is the rain dragon isnt he? hes always associated with rain in yakuza 1 and 2, in an era where rendering rain for cinematic purposes is a ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS.

theres a few types of dragons out there but the uhhh oldest? traditional-est? one is the association with rain and storms. originally bc ppl in the past thought lightning strikes and flashes looks a lot like mythical creatures, and eventually the whole eastern dragon came about with that association.

meanwhile kasuga's kanji name reads as spring day. i am looking directly into the camera at this theming. hes the sunny spring day that comes after the storm. the story will be far kinder to him than kiryu.

so even though dragons are supposed to be strong and good fortune to be seen, and are benevolent and etc, they are again more theme than person.

theres even a real trend where everyone wants to borrow the dragon aesthetic to look cool, big, strong, fortuitous and lucky, be it in tattoos, irezumi, ritual, traditions or propaganda (chinese nationalism stuff). what i mean is people will have babies on the year of the dragon on purpose, wear the dragon and give more preferential treatment to their child/grandchild born on the year of the dragon.

everyone worships the dragon and takes its scales to wear, but no one thinks of the dragon as a creature. as a living thing.

meanwhile ichiban's irezumi cant even be called a dragon. maybe a mermaid. but not a dragon. and in that regard i feel like he's escaped from a fucking curse.

Carrying the cross

some other bits i picked up also. kazuki and daigo, and their crosses

shinto buddhism is the default in japan. but more SHINTO than buddhism, mind, bc buddhism is something people seek out these days rather than be taught bc its too super fucking esoteric. meanwhile, christianity is the minor religion. while some people do think of it negatively (due to instances of cults), it is by no means a mystery or exotic or even so minor that its rare.

anyway thing is. in these specific characters' cases, im 99% sure they signify a desire to walk away from their old self and past. bc of the baptism thing.

in buddhism, theres nothing to absolve one of their past. theres a strong emphasis on change instead, so its more of acceptance rather than discard.

which is. hm. idk what daigo's major deal is but from 2 -> 8 he seems like he ate a lot of shit along the way, guessing from his acala irezumi and name. and that the cross isnt a big thing in his character design anymore: it reads a little like he stopped running away from his family history.

(incidentally shinto is very responsible for the conservative classism in japan historically speaking, which is why its not a very strong thing in rgg setting. basically, strong Cleanliness and Dirtiness ideas, and guess which side of our night life, criminal and ex yakuza mcs falls under :') )

anyway im nuts bye

#yakuza #rgg #culture

[gay-artificer]

i would LOVE to hear your specbio on slugcats and scavengers you've mentioned before

Im gonna do scavengers because its been bouncing around in my head But to do that we first have to talk about chickens... female chickens have this really interesting thing going on, where, despite developing two gonads (reproductive gland/organ) during embryonic growth- only one (the left) matures into a full-fledged ovary. However theres a lot of reasons why an ovary might stop working for a growing chicken, especially an old one, and if it happens to be that left one then the hen has no mature backup, but the body tries to anyway by developing the right gonad if its healthy. This can develop into a proper ovary, but sometimes you get something thats sort of inbetween an ovary and testicle, referred to as an ovotestis. (Sometimes, humans develop ovotestes instead of one or the other. This is a variation of intersex. As a fun aside to this, i believe moles are the only mammal known to have ovotestes by default. Isn't it fun how different things are even for things 'relatively' similar?) Back to chickens though- this prompts what we call sex reversal! The hen, who is still by all means a hen on a genetic level, starts to develop rooster traits- sickle feathers, comb style, size- she may even develop a crow or other 'male' behaviors as the hormonal balance shifts to favor male traits. This is something only seen in females, likely just do to the mechanics of how the organs and hormones work. Anyway I like to think Elite scavengers are an evolutionary development of something intentionally like that. While scouting groups are mixed sex, Females who are old enough for it often return back to a central large tribe 'base' to have raise young in the safety of a denser, more protected community. As a result of this, females tend to live longer than males on average and more commonly reach an age where fertility would decline. Older individuals see their reproductive systems completely shut down and the hormonal shift procs the accelerated development of both muscle and horns.

(There is, of course, a ton of natural variation in the Scavenger population even within dimorphism, and its not that uncommon to find a particularly masculine young female scavenger; or even young females who have already begun to express 'Elite' typical traits. Or a short-horned male- so its a trend, but hardly reliable) The babies all look the same though, its not something you notice till they hit adulthood

In terms of evolutionary advantage, I like to think that in the close-knit scavenger tribes an 'Elite' would be old enough to have grandchildren, so the process allows no longer reproductive members to become extra defense around the community and their family lineage. They mostly stay close to the primary scavenger home, although will often join wandering groups or outposts if they have younger members who are learning. (When Artificer ransacked Metropolis, It wiped out a massive portion of the wider areas elite scavenger population. It took a long portion of time for new scavengers to age into the role, and additionally a large amount of technical knowledge was lost with newer elites often being less bold. So recovery was slow, and even afterwards elites in the area primarily became a protective unit for the home base and did not travel as far.

#rw bioposting #ask #long post

[rinbowaman]

My Roommates Ex - Chapter 4

Hiiii peeps! So sorry for the delay, but finally got around to finishing the last bit of this chapter for MRE. There are still more to come, I think there's either one or two more chapters left. But if you've been reading the series, this chapter is where it starts to get good.

Pairings: Heeseung and you

Warnings: Yup here we go, drug/steroid usage, bullying, harassment, sexual harassment, threats, use of intimidation, physical assault, physical altercations, sexists remarks, sexists attitude, emotional instability, and implied stalking. I think thats it.

Summary: Trust me, read this chapter because it's getting good and next chapter is fire. Enjoy!

-Begin Read-

As you remained pensive on the stimulating thoughts of your moments with Heeseung, you hear a knock at your door. Thinking that it might be him, you made your way over to open it. Normally he would always send you a text, or phone call even, letting you know he was on his way over to pick you up or to come see you, but you paid no mind as you were about to greet a smile, and mention that he no longer had to knock since he has Vicky’s old key.

The smile never appeared, and the greeting never came. All your movements came to a sudden stop after seeing who was at the door.

Samuel.

Your eyes stung from the intense look you expelled as you saw your ex-boyfriend standing right outside your room.

“Hey kiddo!”

Hey kiddo?...

You remained speechless, firmly tightening your grasp on the knob. A plethora of questions were running through your head, you didn’t know which one to ask first. You weren’t sure if you were confused, shocked, or feeling slightly offended that he was here, casually greeting you as if he didn’t cease the growth of the relationship that no longer existed.

“You not gonna say anything? Ouch. Burn.”

He spoke his words playfully, like he always used to. Yet, this wasn’t a moment where it called for playful and friendly notions of familiarity, he shouldn’t be here, but he was. After hearing him chuckle from his last sarcasm, you finally calmed your nerves enough to speak.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? Didn’t we agree that I would come visit when we last face timed?”

You furrowed your brows and glared at him, the audacity he had in referencing a moment that you both shared before he crushed you, all the while being completely dismissive about it. Not willing to entertain the thought in figuring out why he was here, you shut the door in his face, rather harshly, as you locked it and took steps back, glaring at the wooden frame. Not knowing the reason behind his unannounced visit, nor did you care. You didn’t truly care.

He knocked, yet again. Finding the confusion of what was happening overwhelming, you walked over to the bathroom, closed the door, and sat on the floor with your back against the wall. After a minute or two, the knocking had stopped.

Feeling apprehensive, you remained seated in place. Finding the thought of standing in a wide-open space, such as the main area of your room, to be displeasing and uncomfortable, you stayed put and tried to find some level of comfort and wholesomeness in the enclosed space. Not able to put your finger on it, you had an instinctive reaction to remain hidden away for just a bit.

Unsure of how much time had passed, since your phone was left on your desk, your panic to rush in the bathroom enabled you to think of nothing else but to hide. Up until you started to feel less uneasy, you stayed put, unable to think rationally as the level of uneasiness was at its peak. Once you had felt your breathing was back at normal pace, you slowly opened the bathroom door and peeked out, remaining overly cautious despite knowing you were the only one in the room.

Wearily, you walked over to the door, your hand shook uncontrollably as you reached for the knob, your heart was pounding painful beats, as you subtly cracked an opening, being as quiet as you could.

Peeking through the crack, you didn’t see him, only the blank wall. You widened the opening as you slightly poked your head out and looked both ways to see if he was around. He wasn’t, he was gone.

You hurriedly closed the door and locked it; developing unsecured thoughts that increased your levels of concern. Grabbing your phone, you saw the notification of unread messages from Heeseung, all received when you had locked yourself in the bathroom. Asking if you were awake and if you wanted to try out the new café they built on 4th street, you felt a thread of relief and comfort weaving you back together.

Responding back, you gave him an affirmative answer. The thought of being anywhere, with Heeseung and away from this dorm is what you wanted, more so now than normal. As you were drafting a separate message to Heeseung, your phone notifies you of a text from an unknown number. The soreness in your chest shutters from within, you felt confident in figuring who it was from.

Of course, he would message you from an unknown number. He must have gotten a new phone, or a spare, after seeing that you had blocked his original number. It was done on the same night he sent you his email, although, it wasn’t initiated from the email itself that enabled your decision to block him. It was the wholesome act of rediscovering yourself, in the healed version that Heeseung presented. That became the only factor that haled yourself free from the past.

Opening the message, you read the contents of Samuel’s text.   

“Y/N, I didn’t want to bug you, so I left. But I would really like to talk to you. Please?”

The confusion grew more intense as you stared at his request. You couldn’t help but feel hostile towards him, but it wasn’t merely because of the email he sent, although it did break your heart. Yet, after Heeseung shined you with a method of love and understanding, to bless you with the mind to rationalize the situation, you looked passed the context of the email and Samuel’s newfound desires in life.

The hostility was emerging from him showing up unannounced and expressing a request to gain some sort of closure.

Questioning whether you should honor his request, you try to level yourself to make an effective decision that was worth your time. Calming your thoughts, you labored every thought process but found yourself growing heavily confused, causing a headache.

Wondering what Heeseung would do in this situation. The man knew of pain and betrayal, he experienced it with Vicky, yet he handled himself rather well and even expressed his understanding of her perspective. Which leads to the other reason on why everyone, not just you, but all his friends and peers, they all would come to him to gain his insight.

The workings of Heeseungs mind are well before his time, it truly was. Friends of his, such as Jake, would always call upon him whenever they needed the rightful guidance. He was very considerate and could point out factors in any situation that was exposed to him, leading people to re-evaluate and develop a better understand and solution to their issues.

Your mind was put at ease the moment you stopped thinking about Samuel and thought about Heeseung’s positive traits. Figuring it would be best, you decided that it may be a good idea to not bring up Samuel right away, and give your mind some clarity as you gradually think about the factors while enjoying the day with Heeseung.

You felt nervous when Heeseung came up to your room, afraid that Samuel was lurking around, unsure how severe the reaction between the two meeting would be, assuming it wasn’t going to be a positive one.

The early spring air started out refreshingly cool and warmed up as the day grew. After the café, Heeseung took you to an old town, it was very vintage and had all sorts of boutiques and shops, it was peaceful and lacked the over crowdedness that was present everywhere else. The stone walkways resembled the mid-western European architectural roads. He told you how it reminded him of his time in Europe, pleasantly surprising you since it was the first you’ve heard of mentioning this. He explained how he lived there for one year while participating in a student language and culture exchange program, where he lived in a host home.

“I was taking French studies at the time, so I went to Canada for one month, then to Paris, France.”

“Did you like it over there?”

“Not so much Paris. I liked the countryside better. You ever been?”

“No, not yet. I will someday, it’s on my bucket list.” You both chuckled at the mentioning of bucket list, walking side by side.

“Yeah, you should go one of these days.”

“Did you get to site see a bit?”

“Oh yeah. All the museums and cathedrals.”

“What was your favorite site?”

“I liked all of them. But honestly, my favorite moments were at the host house. The window in my room had a good view of the Eiffel Tower, and every night, starting at 9pm, the tower lights up every hour until midnight.”

“It lights up?”

“Yeah.

You enjoyed hearing Heeseung talk about his experience in France. It made you wonder if his significant level of maturity was attributed due to his experience in living overseas. Thinking about it made you feel comfortable in bringing up Samuel, feeling confident that Heeseung would console you on the matter.

The paved walkway surrounded a large lake, coming across an empty bench that faced the water, you both sat and took a break from your walk to enjoy the expanding view of the water, and the trees that framed around it. You didn’t bring up the topic immediately, mainly because you wanted a few moments to appreciate the beauty of the setting with Heeseung. After feeling calm enough to word out the situation, you began to explain everything to him.

Heeseung, as you correctly guessed, remained calm and poised. His face expression didn’t even change, he was intensively listening as he observed the lake, sitting with his arms crossed and his legs spread, with his knee touching yours.

While he had his methods that he used whenever he was helping other people work out their issues, with you, he had a different approach. His communicative methods in helping you figuring out the solution was entirely different. It was mainly due to whenever something was on your mind, you had already developed an approach to ease the situation, which would enable him to support you and trust your judgement, versus trying to help figure out a solution. Something he wasn’t used to but found refreshing.

“What do you want to do?”

“I think I should talk to him and establish closure, so he and I are in full understanding. I don’t want there to be any assumptions.”

You never responded back to Samuel’s email, at the time, you didn’t think it was necessary. You had developed an emotional response but never followed through in reaching out, seeing as how Samuel had, according to his email, clearly moved on. After this morning, however, you felt differently regarding your decision. Considering things can change, to include people’s minds, he needed to know that whatever guilt or regret that had surfaced on his conscious, he needed to figure out a way to ease his own pain, without you.

Heeseung continued to watch the lake, he nodded at your proposed resolve, but didn’t have any reaction to it, other than a small smirk and a simple nod as he remained seated with his arms crossed.

You found it peculiar that he remained oddly calm and relaxed towards the event, but then again, maybe he felt that there wasn’t anything to be worried about, and this may be a hint that his trust in you is beyond reproach.

Still, the pensive look he had as he admired the lake and the small smirk on his lips made you feel a bit strange, but you couldn’t narrow down as to why.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked him softly, smiling at him but he doesn’t look to see it. Instead, he shook his head subtly, breathed deep in through his nose, and shifted his shoulders never, breaking his gaze on the lake.

“Nothing.”

You weren’t fond of his short answer, or the fact that he didn’t look at you. Even though he was calm and relaxed and didn’t come off as annoyed or angry, it didn’t sit right with you on how he was being so focused in thought as soon as you brought up the situation with Samuel. Was he mad?

You caught yourself in mid thought and stopped. Trying to avoid the habit of overthinking it, you kept reminding yourself of Heeseung’s habit for being in touch with his mind, but it still was unsetting that he was coming off as a little distant.

You both decided to sleep in Heeseung’s room for the night, in the case Samuel tried revisiting your dorm. The frat homes contained private, and single rooms, unlike the shared space inside the dormitory. With Vicky being at a different college, and Heeseung having his own room, you both had two convenient options to choose from when it came to privacy and sleeping arrangements. Normally, the selection in regards to choosing which room to stay in, heavily depended on various factors that made sense of the current standing, one such as tonight.

Heading back to his room, the drive to his frat house was quiet, as Heeseung continued to look like he was deep in thought. You did some light reading on your phone, trying to avoid any awkwardness.

Normally you both would fall asleep while binge watching a new series or lay and talk at random, laughing, joking, and flirting with each other, but tonight was different and you began to regret bringing up the topic of Samuel.

Laying on his bed, you continued to read on your phone, occasionally glancing to see if was still deep in his train of thought, and he was.

He laid in his usual fashion, elbows bent, hands behind his head, while still wearing his cap. He continued to stare at the ceiling for hours, as you laid next to him and read chapters of a reading assignment.

It was only 8pm, yet you were ready to put this evening to an end. Locking your phone screen and setting it on the shelf attached to the headboard, you nuzzled yourself against him, and placed your head on his chest as your hair trails behind and drapes over the empty spacing behind you.

Resting your arm around his waistline, you closed your eyes and began to focus on falling asleep, when you heard the whispering sound that indicated he was smirking. A moment of relief swells within you but became even stronger when you felt him move his hands from under his head and wrap it around you.

Feeling reassured, and overjoyed at his display of affection, you continued to lay in his embrace and fell asleep shortly afterwards.

The next morning, you had Heeseung drop you back off to your dorm so you could take care of the remaining homework assignments, wanting to get everything done so you could leave yourself free for the entire afternoon to spend with him. There was also the talk with Samuel, which was more of a priority merely because you wanted to get it done and over with, refusing to have it sit on your shoulders much longer.

You opened his last message, wondering if he was even still around since you didn’t respond immediately. Asking him if he was available to talk this morning, hoping that you could get this situation out of the way before you start working on your assignments, you sent him your response.  

Samuel responded within seconds. You agreed to meet up within the hour to talk, informing him that you would like to carry the conversation in his rental in the dorm’s parking lot, trying to avoid him coming back up to your room.

You couldn’t help but feel strange that this was the first time you didn’t appreciate Samuel’s presence.  In high school, there was never a time where you felt uncomfortable with him, which is why it was shocking for you to feel that way now. However, thinking about it allowed you to point out that while Samuel had come off in a typically familiar manner, there was something about him that changed, but couldn’t narrow down as to what.

When Samuel texted you that he was in the lot, you walked down to meet him at the car. Sitting in the passenger seat, you looked over to see him smiling, looking concerningly too happy to see you. He was the first to speak, much to your dismay.

“So how you’ve been?”

You didn’t answer immediately, you raised an eyebrow and nodded your head with a simple response in telling him you’ve been good, never bothering to asking him the same in return, you really didn’t feel like opening that door.

There was a minute of awkward silence as you tried to figure out how to start the conversation and pilot it to how you wanted it to go. Just as you were about to speak, Samuel, once again was the first to get out his words.

“So…have you thought about me since we last spoke?”

“Last spoke?  You mean when you sent the email?”

“Yeah.” - “No.”

It wasn’t your intention to come out with your answer so quickly, however, it was the truth. He looked at you shocked and let out a nervous laugh.

“I can understand. I was a jerk.”

“Sam…why are you here?”

He stayed silent for a few moments, his posture was shifted towards you, leaning his side against the seat.

“I missed you.”

Wincing your eyes shut out of annoyance, and slightly shaking your head, you couldn’t help but feel offended towards his response. He was giving off a sense that he expected you to react a certain way upon hearing that he missed you. Absurd, considering that five months ago, he sent the email explaining he was lonely, lacking comfort and love, despite you being there to answer every one of his calls and messages and making yourself available to speak with him every single day.

“Don’t you miss me?”

“What happened with your fiancé?”

The question caught him off-guard. He shifts his body to face the windshield and places a hand on the steering wheel, and while avoiding eye contact, he tells you of what had happened shortly after breaking it off with you. Mind you, he had ended the relationship on his own accord much earlier on before he sent you the email. That made the experience much worse, considering while he was with someone else, unbeknownst to you, you were dedicating your time sending him messages, and calling in to check on him.  

“She and I just…you know. It didn’t work out.”

“What about your baby?” He scoffs as soon as you inquired about his unborn child.

“What about it? Is that a dealbreaker for you?”

“So, you came here because you guys didn’t work out?” You snapped back, not appreciating the look on his face as he squinted his eyes and formed a subtle smirk grazing the corner of his lip.  

“Is that a bad thing, y/n?”

What was with his attitude? He was being overly too ignorant with everything, you were starting to feel more annoyed than you intended.

“You shouldn’t have come here Sam. It’s been five months and I never reached out or responded to your email. What made you think that I was going to just receive you with open arms?”

His expression looked appalled at the harshness of your tone as he tells you that he flew all the way over to come see you, and that your behavior was rude.

“Look I messed up, and I’m sorry. But I’m back now. Remember all the times we spent with each other?”

Shutting his trip down to memory lane, you found yourself getting fed up with his dismissive attitude began explaining that you were no longer an a pursuable option for him, nor would you want to be even if you didn’t have Heeseung.

“Sam, I have a boyfriend, and it’s rude for you to come to my dorm so freely like this. Did you not consider that?”  The smile he had as he was about to bring up memories from high school faded quick, and his eyes stared at the steering wheel. He looked mad. Really mad. There was also a hint of disappointment in his expression as he became suddenly quiet and shifted his eyes between the steering wheel and a random spot on the windshield.

You didn’t want to create tension, especially after seeing the look of anger, it was strange, you’ve never seen him have a look like that while you two were dating. Trying to keep things from getting out of hand, you explain and appeal to his senses as the boy you knew as a teenager.

“I’m not trying to be harsh. I just think you need to find a different way to figure out your issues, I can’t be reachable for you, I don’t want to be.” He merely listened and looked at you before nodding.

“Can we at least be friends?”

You were slightly taken aback by his question, wondering why he was having such a hard time letting things go and moving on. You didn’t like the concept of remaining as friends after everything, perhaps if it had gone down differently, maybe. Overall, you felt it was best that the connection and history you both had, end here, just like your relationship with him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

His expression didn’t change, he continued to remain calm, and his tone was mellow. “Why not?”

“Because I just don’t. I don’t want to revisit the past. It was good while it lasted but there is no reason for us to remain in contact. Let’s just wish each other well.”

He stayed quiet and pondered for a moment. “So, you really don’t want to try and get back together?”

By this point, you were starting to get angry. The vibe of his presumptuous attitude in thinking you were going to get back with him, all because he flew over to meet with you, was perplexing your mind.

“No, and I think you already knew the answer to that.” You leveled your tone to be lower and firmer, to put your foot down and letting him know that this conversation was over. You reached for the handle of the door and pulled the lever, but kept the door shut for a moment.

“Good luck with everything.” Before you pushed the door open, he spoke out “Wait.” Turning your head, you watch as he said his piece.

“I’m sorry. I really am and I never meant to hurt you, I was just being stupid. I just…I don’t want us to never speak to each other ever again, ya know? I thought about it, and I didn’t realize that you were my biggest support system. I was just lonely and going through some shit. But we should be good now, right?”

You didn’t exactly know what to make out of his piece, you merely nodded before saying yours.

“I’m sorry you went through a hard time, if I would have known I would have tried to make it better. But it’s done and in the past. I think that whatever had happened, you should take it as a lesson learned, and focus on yourself. I’m happy and I have someone that really cares about me-“

Unable to finish the last bit of your sentence as Samuel cuts you off, you noticed he grew slightly teary eyed. It was making you uncomfortable.

“But that someone is me, y/n! I care about you, I love you.”

The uneasy feeling ignited in your chest once more, just when you thought the conversation was coming to a smooth end, he takes it 10 steps back.

“Sam…just drop it. You need to stop.”

“But what if I can’t? What if I don’t?”

You looked at him with a perplex look, taking his question more as a threat than him inquiring his vulnerability.

“You need to. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I have a lot of things to do so please just…you need to move on. Don’t call me or come see me anymore. Do you understand?”

Your harshness came back, you were beginning to lose your composure and lean towards anger as you watched him curse under his breath and speak with great annoyance.

“Whatever y/n. Whatever, if you don’t want to be friends then fine, go be that way. You know, you changed, you were a lot nicer before, but now you’re jus-“

You cut him off. You weren’t even going to provide an argument against his misguided statement, knowing full well that he knew what he was saying highly fabricated.

“Stop. No more Sam. Just…you need to leave.” He slammed both hands on the steering wheel as he made his remark. “Fine! I’m going and I’m never coming back.”

You were puzzled at his change of behavior; he was carrying traits that almost seemed borderline deranged. People do change, but he seemed entirely different, and his attitude was uncalled for. Avoiding any chance to entertain his tantrum, you simply got out of the car and went back to your dorm. You heard the roaring engine as he angrily backed the car out the parking space and drove off. Good riddance.

Or so you thought.

Later that afternoon, on the peak of evening time, Samuel had messaged you several times. Initially you didn’t respond and ignored the constant display of texts boxes coming in reflecting an apologetic and seemingly grieving Samuel.

“I’m sorry. Can we talk again?”

“I just am going through some stuff.”

“Please don’t ignore me.”

“You there?”

“Helloooooooo???”

Fed up, you responded just once, telling him to leave you alone and that you were blocking his new number, to which he responded rather quickly.

“I’m sorry. I won’t bother you anymore. Gnite.”

You froze, you did feel relieved that he said he was going to leave you alone but the annoyance and frustration you felt lingered, between the conversation from earlier in the day and all his messages, today became a drag. Tossing your phone carelessly on your bed, you rubbed the temples of your forehead as you get back to your assignments.

it’s over now, finally.

The next few days you had completely forgotten about that whole piece with Samuel. You truly meant it when you told him that you wished him well, even more so now. You didn’t care for his attitude, but you figured that he had a lot of stress and wasn’t handling it well. Regardless, you hoped strongly that he would be able to figure things out and moved on.

Heeseung never asked you how your conversation went with Samuel, nor did he make any remark or inquiry about it. Considering how his demeanor was when you spoke to him about it at the lake, you didn’t bring it up at all, not that there was any reason to do so anyhow. You took care of it, and you felt relieved that Heeseung didn’t display anymore of those pondering moments where he became abnormally quiet, more so than he already was.

A week had passed since your talk with Samuel and you didn’t revisit the thought of him, the conversation, or his text messages since. Life was back to normal.

Today was Emily’s birthday, and Jake coordinated a surprised party for her at a private setting, organizing events and performances to take place in the evening. You and the girls all helped and participated in the set-up, speaking joyfully on the news of Vicky and her nuptials.

With so much time to spare before the festivities begin, everyone decides to split up and meet up at the venue later in the evening.

Jake offers you a ride back since Heeseung agreed to play a basketball game with a collected group of peers that share the same class as him.

The entire dorm was nearly empty, there may have been a couple of students on the first floor with no weekend plans, but apart from that, the dorm reflected a typical Friday evening.

Jake pulls up next to the building, he remarks at how creepy the dormitory and parking lot looked whenever the students abandoned it for the weekend, followed by him being grateful for living in a frat house, the same one as Heeseung.

He wasn’t wrong. It did look unsettling, especially at night.

With all the students staying with friends and family who lived out in town, and all the spring and summer events taking place this weekend, the campus was left in a deserted state by the time you got back to your dorm.

The first time you witnessed the tradition of seeing the mass migration of students pairing up, and carpooling out of the lot, leaving the dorm hollow, it was your first weekend after moving in. Initially, you would take the girls and Vicky’s offer to go out with them for the night, avoiding being alone inside the vacant building, but eventually you found it peaceful and the prime time to work undisturbed.

Taking advantage of the silence and the last bit of daylight streaming in through the window, you didn’t waste any time and began working. Due to the extensive silence and hollowness in the building, the ringing of your phone sounded much louder than normal. The sceen displays Heeseungs name, you answer happily as you note the slight heavy breathing on the other line, indicating that he and his friends were still going at it on the court.

“Hey baby, you guys finished decorating?”

“Yeah, we finished about 20 min ago. How’s your basketball game?”

“Good, we won. What time does he want us to be there?”

“Eight. We got lots of time.”

“Ah, good. I’m going to go clean up and finish some work, you want to come back with me?”

“It’s okay, I’m already halfway through my work. You go ahead and do your thing; I’ll be ready whenever you are.”

“Okay, call me if you change your mind, I’ll come over.”

“Hahaha sounds good. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, you will *chuckles*.”

Nearly an hour and half later, you wrap up what was remaining of this week’s syllabus, before taking a break as you stretch your arms. Noting that there was still nearly three hours to spare before the party, and that you were already dressed, you started to look over your to-do list and work on some tasks until Heeseung calls you.

Assuming he was heavily enveloped in his work, you didn’t want to disturb him. Dragging your finger down your list, you come across your reminder to send your dad an email, a weekly occurrence along with a phone call to talk with him and your mom and catching up.

You began drafting your email to your dad, talking about your friend’s birthday party and your roommate’s trip to Africa. They were already aware of the breakup with Samuel and that you had a boyfriend that attends the same school.

Your mother tends to show more excitement when it comes to the topic of boys, your father, while more reserved, does show some interest in his own way, such as asking questions and getting a full report. In the end, your father’s love and desire for your happiness was always his top priority, the moment he noticed your voice remaining calm and pleasant, even after the mentioning of the breakup, he knew that the man you were with was taking care of you in the way that you needed him to.

As you continued writing, you hear a knock at your door. It was soft and light, you looked down and noted that you had brought back the spare decorations with you, instead of leaving it unattended at the venue. You figured Jake came back to pick them up. You got up and walked over, without giving a second thought, you opened the door to see Samuel standing in front of you.

Ironically, you didn’t feel shocked to see him. What you did feel, was a whole twist of other emotions that made shock, more desirable. You stood there, unsure of what to say or what to think. He was just standing there, looking at you in the dark hallway, with a mellow facial expression.

“Hey.”

His voice made your chest sore. You didn’t respond, all you could focus on was trying to figure why he was standing there, it had been a little over a week since he supposedly left. You didn’t ask him, instead, you kept asking yourself on whether he had left at all, if he was here the whole time, wondering what has he been doing, why he was here, and why he didn’t leave.

“Can you let me in?” Again, you didn’t respond, nor did you move, until he took it up himself to start walking towards you and through the entrance, you took a series of steps back, more than just a few so you could keep a full distance between you two.

He walked in and scanned around the room, remarking the empty half that was Vicky’s side.

“No roommate huh?”

You head for the door, but with him being closer to it, shutting, and locking it, your senses grew to a level of discomfort that you hadn’t felt before. It felt completely unsafe, threatening, and dangerous.

“Why are you here?” You felt yourself getting teary eyed, you were having a hard time keeping your breathing steady and calm, you had to keep your mouth open to access better air flow, and to ease the sharp sensation you were feeling in your chest.

“I couldn’t leave. What? You don’t care to see me?...You used to care.”

By now, even though you don’t know the entire story of what happened with him, it became obvious that something had transpired during his time in college that changed him, enabling him to conduct this current behavior.

After locking you both in the dorm, he walks closer towards your direction, taking a moment to look around, he sees off to the side and notices the corkboard with all the photos pinned on. He squints his eyes and approaches it, taking one of the photos of you and Heeseung, he removes it from the board. You reacted by reaching out and yelping a “Don’t!” only for him to slap your hand away and look at you offensively with bulging eyes.

“Don’t touch me. Do not touch me y/n.”

You stood away from him and started moving your sights to various parts of the floor trying to figure out what to do, how to calm the situation and resolve all of this.

“This the new guy? What is he like Chinese or something?”

You winced in anger at his remark at Heeseung, but didn’t say anything, knowing that it would only escalate the situation now that he seems triggered.

“You have a thing for Asian guys now, y/n?”

You stared at the wall, refusing to look at him. You wanted to scream, but that wouldn’t take you away from your environment. The crunching sound of your photo being balled up and tossed to the floor causes you to snap your head towards him. He walks over and closes the distance where he nearly is touching you.

“Why do women like to play games, y/n?” You didn’t think it was possible, but you felt your eyes grew even wider as you looked over to the wrinkled photo of you and Heeseung.

“You…always smiling and laughing over the phone, like you weren’t even bothered that we couldn’t see each other.”

Listening to him rebounding the same complaint he addressed in his email; you recall that the experience resulted in him harboring a hatred for you even though you were unaware of how he was feeling. He obviously took it as you intentionally dismissing it, offending him as a result.

“That bitch Julia…going to tell me I can’t see my kid.”

Judging by those words, it became apparent that Samuel had developed an attitude and misconception on women based off his experience with you and this other girl, Julia.

“I just wanna talk! Ya know?” He says with a smile and shrugged his shoulders, although it did not make the setting any lighter.

“We…already talked Sammy. I already told yo-“  you were cut off as he yelled, something you never heard him do. In fact, the way he’s been lately was nothing like how you knew him.

“We did not! Don’t give me that bullshit y/n!”  You started take more steps back towards Vicky’s side of the room, which made him laugh as he sneaked in a comment of the fear he was sensing within you.

“What? You scared of me now? You too?”

“What do you mean, you too?”

A theory is becoming easier to develop regarding Samuel, the more he was going on, the easier it became to understand that this newfound attitude and personality was something that he had developed while he was away.

He laughed at your question, it was a cynical laugh, as if he was just mocking every word that you spilled out.

“Oh man y/n…you have no idea. God…you really are just so….so fucking ignorant, you know?”

He walks over to you and begins to divulge everything that had caused him to go downhill.

“Like, did you even know that I didn’t get picked for the draft?” A confused look grew on your face, you wanted to remind him that he had informed you, because of his busy schedules, that he wanted to be left unbothered so he could focus on the audition and his exams to maintain his scholarship.

Not to mention, after receiving the email a couple weeks after, he disclosed that he had been seeing someone else. He was being completely one sided, yet you refrained, fearing that since he was a hair away from snapping, or maybe he already has.

“Yeah…you had no idea. You had no idea; you didn’t even ask me how I was doing. Not you, Julia, those cunts at GPT. None of you bitches did!”

You tried to use a psychological tactic in softening his anger by expressing sympathy for him. You felt you had no other option as you felt yourself backed into the wall.

“I’m sorry…Sammy. I’m very sorry. I should have been more attentive. Do…do you want to talk about the next audition or plans going forward?”

He stopped and looked for a moment before he smiled and chuckled laconically.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m taking care of that.” He rolls up the sleeve of his arm and you’re shocked to find evidence of what looked to be punctures from drugs or steroid injections.

You suddenly realized; Samuel’s built was bigger than when he left for college. You were so shocked at him being here in the first place, that you didn’t even realize the difference in size. Frozen and unable to comprehend what he just showed you, never in a hundred years would have never considered that he resorted to drugs to gain muscle mass.

You looked at him with a shockingly disgusted look on your face, as he stayed smiling and laughing. His comment earlier, in mentioning Julia not letting him see their child, you wonder if he had committed certain atrocities towards her, because of the effects in steroids.

“See next time, I’m going to get it. I’ve been working on it.” His comment was followed by him taking a second to show you his arms as he flexes, all in a taunting manner to scare you, not to impress. As much as you hated to admit it, it did in fact, scare you. You watched as several large, and protruding veins all over his arm, while the skin stretched tightly around the bulge of each muscle.

You wondered if there was a reasonable object nearby that you could utilize as a weapon of opportunity, considering that Samuel is acting in a manner that calls for it. Even though he did put on more muscle, he wasn’t intimidatingly large, and he wasn’t much taller than average height either. You don’t know if you were just being desperate or anticipating to really follow through the act of self-defense by studying his behavior.

“So y/n, tell me about this guy. What’s he like? Does he play football as well? I bet I can take him out.”

You didn’t entertain any responses to his taunts. You remained standing  at a distance and took the verbal abuse, knowing full well he wasn’t going to change his attitude. How could he? Research and studies have all shown that steroid and drug use alike all led to violent and sudden bursts of irrational and violent behavior. You felt it best to stay calm and silent.

“Did you guys fuck? I bet you have. Remember how we used to go at it, y/n? Remember? Man, I used to get at you every night in my car. That was fun.”

You kept wincing at his recollection of the moments when you and Sam had sex, they used to be a sweet memory for you but now, you find yourself ridden with disgust as he kept talking about it. You started to turn your face away, almost feeling shameful that the man before you was the one that you gave your virginity to.

“Yeah, you and me, those were the days, y/n. We had fun.” His voice trailed off as his smile slowly fades as he eyeballs your hips.

“I bet I can tear it up better than him. Especially now.” His words cut you deep, literally stabbing you in the heart as he slaps his palm on the flexed muscle group on his arm, making a loud slap.

“You don’t want to miss out on this y/n, just ask the girls at GPT.”  His last statement clearly indicated that he had been flourishing the campus grounds at his school with a selectable group of girls, you wonder if he had developed his distasteful attitude towards women from them as well.

“So? How about it? Do I get a little something for flying over here to come see you?”

You looked at him and felt yourself panicking but could not move. You shook your head, rejecting him as your eyes began to tear up more.

It happened so fast, and it took you a second to process what had just transpired as the sting on you cheek informs you, after you find yourself collapsed on the floor. You placed your hand on your face to apply a little pressure on the sting, hissing as you make contact on the skin with your hand trying to relieve the pain.

You look up to see his face as you scoot back to create some distance.

“I didn’t say you could move.” Feeling angered by you moving away, he launches over, picking you up by your shoulders and enforcing you to stand as he pushes you up against the wall once more, pinning you there. You tried to shift around to see if you could slip out of the grip in his hands as they press your arms against the wall. It only angered him. Watching as he lifts his hand, you try to avoid being hit directly this time as you tuck your head in, lifting your hands to try and shield it from sustaining any serious damage.

Amidst the shuffle of you moving and him trying to hold you still to get his point across, in a physically abusive manner, he curses your name, a list of names, a list of girls that you assume he had relations with since he arrived at his school.

You did your best to shield yourself against his hits, yet he still managed to get a couple in on the same cheek he hit the first time.

“Who you gonna hurt huh? You who gonna hurt?” He commits to another slap in between his words of tantrum.

“Tell me y/n, are you going to keep hurting me? Or are you done playing games?”

Your cheek felt like it was on fire. Your eyes were dreadfully teary, and you felt like a mess. His eyes were bulging once more, reflecting the deep discontent for all the girls he had felt done him dirty, though judging by the way things have been going, it’s very likely that he developed the discontent all on his own and became overexaggerated with his emotional anger.

The mirror that hung on the wall on the other side of the room pitifully displayed your reflection. A smear of your lipstick dragged on the corner of your mouth, and faded into your slightly swollen cheek that beamed red. Your delicate application of eyeliner and shadow for tonight’s event, left streaks as the tears streamed each time your face received impact from his hand. Your hair that was draped over your shoulders became messy, with pieces stuck to your face from the struggle and the hits you received. Red speckles were splattered on your collarbones and chest, applied by the busted lip that displayed a bright, popping red, that contrasted against the rouge you had on. One of the spaghetti straps to your dress was torn, hanging loosely, and entangled within your hair. Even though the dress was on the form fitting side, you could see the little bit of excess material along the sides, stretched and wrinkled as a result from the scuffle.

His voice snaps you out from zoning out as you found it hopeless to do anything but wish for Heeseung, Jake, or anybody to come through and start banging on the locked door, hoping that it would distract and scare Samuel.

“Answer me, y/n. I’m getting really pissed off.”

You taste the continuous flow of blood inside your mouth, at first you thought it was from the open wound heavily present on your bottom lip, then you realized it was from the cuts on your gums and the inside of your cheek that took all the hits.  No doubt the combination of the impact and harsh contact with your teeth caused the skin inside to split open.

Feeling hopeless, you don’t know what he intends to do next, but you already knew what he planned on doing at some point within the night. You hanged your head low, shook it, and looked up at him with tears building up in your eyes, a slight smirk in defiance as you spoke.

“I’ll hurt you, and I’ll hurt me, but I won’t hurt him.” You gave a saddened smile before hanging your head back low. You felt his grip loosened before he releases your arms, which displayed finger marks. He turned around for a moment to walked towards the center of the room, where he yelled out curses as he punched the flat surface of your bookcase, before walking hastily back to you and reaffirming his grip on your arms once more.

It wasn’t a slam, but it was far from gentle, as his forehead makes a sudden impact against yours. The soaring pain above your brow line made you wince, resulting in the lids squeezing out the collection of tears that were building up over your iris’. With his forehead remaining in contact with yours, he shoves your head up against the wall.

“I fucking hate you. All of you!”

You closed your eyes as you heard the harsh whisper of his words smack your skin as his face remained plastered on yours. Unable to label what it is that you were feeling, it was just a state of total acceptance and hopelessness, and you stood maintaining your stance that whatever transpires in the night, whether it was physical abuse, bullying, hazing, sexual harassment, or worse…

Whatever it is that he was planning, you made it known that while he had the capabilities to do it, everything he does is all against your consent as you remained unwilling, not just for the sake of maintaining your virtues, but to make it known that the reason behind your willpower against Samuel, is all for the sake of Heeseung. So everyone would know that you weren’t the one that hurt him.

Opening your eyes slightly, they become reacquainted with the familiar blurred vision caused by the tears grouping over them, recreating those same diamond eyes that you had five months ago.

They remain open, just a sliver, as you see Samuel's incoherent silhouette through the overflow of moisture. You didn’t immediately process it at first, it felt like déjà vu, when you suddenly heard and recognize the pleasantly deep and calm tone that speaks from somewhere in the room.

“Yo.”

#heeseung x reader #heeseung hard hours #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smut #heeseung #heeseung fanfic #heeseung smau #heeseung x you #enhypen hard hours #enha heeseung #enha x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #enha fanfic #enha fanfiction #enha smut #heeseung x yn

[alexanderlightweight]

What is your opinions on Magnus's memory box in the show?

hey! okay so i have super mixed feelings on this because

1) magnus closed his heart off for a century and i really doubt he's going to have easy access to stuff like momentos from lost lovers out and about when he's been trying to push it away and put it away. if he in fact got out that box to have around because he's in relationship with alec and opening his heart back up... that's actually kind of shitty and ooc for him. i feel like it would be something he did much later in their relationship.

or he did it in regards to their break up (bringing out the box) which meant he was going to put a piece of alec in there and if that is how it came across during the moments we didn't see... then alec deserves t make some snide comments about it (they're both petty bitches kay? magnus gets to be petty and so does alec and they can work it out themselves)

2) i don't like how they did it. it seemed more like a tiny box of trophies than mementos. so like, magnus keeps one little thing from his favorite or most painful of lovers? not entire chests of them for when he wants to go through them and remember the good and bad times? if he is that sentimental about it then a little tiny box of stuff wouldn't make sense? and they're just lying around with a tiny ward on it?

3) the whole set up seemed like he was testing alec tbh and that wasn't great. also the way he went about showing it to alec was super shitty and doesn't make sense for their character growth. it's one of the things i felt was ooc

4) alec's attitude was ALSO not it about the box. that being said, the way the writers had alec handle the box was really shitty even when it felt like magnus brought out the box to compare his relationships to alec with them. which left alec defensive and insecure because like... oh hey babe remember how im immortal and have had a lot of loves before you... look i keep little tiny records of them and they make me sad. one day you'll be in this box making me sad!! (is how the writers portrayed it)

5) alec understandably didn't handle that well and the dude is already a salty bitch and we all knw that being with magnus just upped his pettiness to obscene levels of salt and sass. magnus is really just irked that alec's pettiness is being directed at him

6) i think a lot of people ignore that alec is following magnus for the most part and letting him lead the relationship until alec gets the courage to go ask for more (which magnus almost always shoots down the first time or tries to get alec to slow down which makes alec hesitate to push forward again the next time. only for magnus to agree later because magnus tends to let his insecurities get in the way of his relationship with alec a lot). which then make alec more insecure as well

7) they both have a lot of insecurities and i think alec doesn't realize that about magnus for a while, because he doesn't understand how anyone couldn't love magnus and magnus doesn't realize that he is IT for alec. because magnus makes some shitty comments about being alec's first in everything which doesn't fucking make sense either (if i remember, things about alec would understand better or should go sow his wild oats or something like that)

8) pretty much i don't like some of these things in the show (the bx being one of them) because they turned it into drama rather than you know, actually something important and thats probably because several of the sh writers didnt knw how to write a good scene without adding 'drama' because frankly, most of them didn't care about the characters they were writing

9) this is one f those things i put up their with the stele. because uh magnus getting upset that his stuff is violated? magnus... babe... you fucking spied on alec half naked before you were in a relationship with him and then fucking stole his stele and gave it to people you knew were going to betray him and then you acted like you had nothing to do with it and were petty and rude to him when part of the reason he stayed trapped in that engagement was because the stele was stolen and then he felt he HAD to go through with the wedding

so like... magnus getting so upset about his 'trust' is pretty much bullshit in context because the way the show set it up it seemed like magnus didn't give a fuck about the consequences of implicating alec in treason. which we know isn't true. and then season 2 was all 'they trust each other' and then go on to do so many things that don't make sense.

i hpe this makes sense? sorry my keyboard is still sticking and i only use my editing spoons for writing and work

<3 lumine

look i love two petty bitches okay

but also they writers just were so back and forth with both magnus and alec on certain things

magnus deserved to have his past romantic relationships treated with respect and the joy and sadness that he holds them with. not as dramatic bs to make people go 'oh no! malec! what will happen next!'

*don't even get me started on alec and the soul sword. i can accept him needing a few days to figure out how to tell magnus/struggle with basically committing treason. thats fine. okay. sometimes you need to work your way up to it.

but what i will never accept or understand is that HE TOLD HIS SIBLINGS AND YOU FUCKING KNOW CLARY KNOWS AND PROBS SIMON TOO AT SOME POINT. ALEC WUOLD NEVER! he knows how stupid they are with secrets and that they completely lack discretion of any kind

so that was also ooc and absolute bullshit and even if we look at it from politics, alec would have wanted to tell his boyfriend because he's overwhelmed and not for one moment do i think alec would ever do anything robert asked of him. not even in good faith. so thats all bullshit. alec: oh i can't tell magnus... let me tell this group of people it makes no sense for me to trust with myself or my secrets

#lumine talks to ppl #lumine answers asks #lumine rants about shadowhunters

[malbenita-old]

CHAPTER 66 SPOILERS AHEAD

(Beware…)

SOOO I needed to lay down all these mixed thoughts and emotions. And this is my first time trying to post something here so it might be very messy. But I really want to discuss so here it is, hope it’s an okay post, yeah.

First thing first, Yor - you are a legend.

She had no idea and she nailed it. We love you Yor.

Second. Melinda, you are… you are the mixed thoughts and feelings here.

Lady, I see that your boys seem independent from your point of view, but…

THATS BRUTAL OKAY

Also it seems like Damian really follows his mom in many ways not even knowing it. Melinda seeks people who can be around because they value her, not her status. I smell some family issues here and it seems like they need to have a long therapy all together (how lucky they are to have Loid around, hmmmm…)

And then she gives me anxiety AGAIN. Why do you need to confuse us every single time you are around please stop

MELINDA WHY ARE YOU SO STRESSED

Is it problematic for Anya and Damian to be friends? Or you are afraid that he used as “son of an important person”? Or you are afraid that they grow apart because of their different upbringings and paths in life? It’s an actual problem or it’s your own fears from previous experience???

(And she is interested in Anya so I hope it’s her experience that gives her anxiety not some major problem)

But it seems like she do care about her kids. That’s just… Damian never tells his parents and butler about his problems and feelings, even accomplishments. So it does seem like he is fine. And parents do not make effort to show that they care. Maybe the problem with their family is the fact that they have built tall walls between and struggle to make steps towards each other. To build burned bridges again.

Then Loid laying out nearly every theory we had these two weeks yeah AND being both man on a mission and a perfect man at the same time. We love you too, Loid. Thank you for supporting Yor, she really needed this talk.

(Mommy friendship scheme is also canon now, yay!)

And then gardener. Man you are kind of creepy, but fair reaction.

And what do you mean “now”? Have you known each other before? More mystery and questions. Garden seems to enter the game now.

And then kids.

These kids.

I feel bad for Anya thinking that she needs to fight to prove her family still needs her. She really tries to make a plan and became more serious, that’s growth.

AND THAT PANNEL ANYA WHY

THEY ARE NOT THAT DUMB

AND OMG I LOVE THEM

I LOVE THEM

THE DODGE

And this dynamic they seem to have now is just… they gonna bring a storm to every room they enter. Their rivalry that will be so intense that no one else will be left standing but these two star catchers on their rise towards their goals. It’s not a blushing mess Damian we used to, but this Damian is just as good. Show her smart and cool. She can read your mind but you can read her moves. That dynamic going to be fun.

And than I just feel pain and want to hug this child. He looks so innocent here…

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “IF YOU HIT HER”

DAMIAN WHAT

DAMIAN NO

Anya and Damian friendship level: -100

OHhh…

So now we back to start.

(Thanks for reading if you made it to the end, here is a cookie for you: 🍪)

((I have no idea how to end this post))

(((May have some really dumb grammar as a non native so feel free to correct me if find some)))

#spy x family #spy family #anya forger #yor forger #melinda desmond #damian desmond #spy x family manga #new chapter!

[i-bring-crack]

One thing I found a little bit funny when reading the epilogue chapters and SLR is how Jinwoo is like. Not a very good dad. (He’s not a bad one! But he’s just so solidly a C grade father up until the point he ditches his son to go to space) and then presumably his wife decides to dip too??? (I’m only in the first few chapters of slr tho lol)

I did get that same train fo thought about his parenting methods and how they differ in the show on this post. And while it is funny, its honestly just level of weird bombastic and a lot of "sir that is a child" from me. I do have to say it also feels pretty sad, because Sung JinWoo was not like that at all in the begining and actively never wanted his family to encounter such dangers that he is exposing to Suho since he was 15 (or less). Like i did say before, no one feels more ooc in the side stories than him. The person that literally put his life on line time and time again instead of letting Jin-Ah get a job or leaving his mom to die from a disease that no one has been able to cure. Even after the Double Dungeon, he knew of all people just how dangerous it was for him and stopped Han Song Yi from working as a hunter. He also didnt join the jeju island raid because no one out there, not even the people that had been killed in that dungeon break and those mourning, were more important than his family and spending time with them after Kyung-Hye woke up again. In the dungeon break that also happened with in Japan, Jin Woo also tried to stop himself from going to that dungeon because Jin Ah was still recovering from her trauma. Of all things, his family means everything to him, (and we still see that it does) but he at the same time when he finished fighting all those monsters for 27 years, he almost became a whole new person from maners to literally fully merging himself with Ashborns powers.

He didnt see other peoples taunts as something bad and rather he joked that it was funny, he wasnt above torturing or straight up killing others that also went out of his way to harm him. He really just only wanted to get back to his family, because after he went to school, there wasnt any other motives for him to get a job or find a passion life that he could pursue. Neither was there a point in him finding solance or love with other people that werent those he already knew in the past timeline. Jin Woo just has no purpose to live expect protect his family. The family that he is also bringing constant danger into, but he doesnt care about that anymore, he owns up to that and still fights all the monsters either way. Yet withing his purpose to live, he just decides to take whatever offer Jinchul made instead of, idk, looking for things that you find interesting. (And yes his power help him with the cases but at the same time he could have been a million other things, a doctor, a surgeon, a painter, a lawyer, anything! Detective isnt bad either but its the fact that he never wanted it for himself but rather because someone else– someone he knew – told him he would be good at it.)

And thats fine for characters to have that goal centered about family, I love me some characters that do their best to just live for the people they care about and also go ballistic when their family is hurt. Which is why I also love SL Ragnarok more than SL. Su-ho is out there also fighting for his family, but we see why he cares about them when Suho's memories with his mother and Beru bleed out into his action with other characters, we see how he acts with Beru and Haein (but not jinwoo ahhhh) in the past and without them in the present canon events. His character isnt simply relegated to his family or a void of it [Jin Woo's character also had the same growth with Jin Ah's and Kyung Hye's interactions back pre jeju island arc and smaller moments thrown out in season two as a whole. So I really do believe that Post the 27 years fight, Jinwoo just felt more like Ashborn than his human self.] Other characters also get to say just how similar Suho is to one of his parents (cant spoil sorry) and at the same time he still isnt defined entirely by them. Heck he even goes out of his way, in the new chapters, to tell himslef that he will be different, that he wont become a succesor but rather a version of his own self. And thats awesome! He wants to carve out his own path and not be a copy of his father that is good!

Anyways Jinwoo is still like a good dad or at least has to be bc in SL Ragnarok, without much spoilers, does emphatise just how much Suho wants to see his dad and mom again, but at the same time my problem with it is that it feels a bit void of it, since Suho keeps getting flashbacks of his life when he was with the shadows and his mom, but there hasnt been a single memory (that i can remeber) shown of him with his dad. Its one of those details that SLR lacks which shouldnt honestly, when there are still some panels of Suho promising to become the best just for him. And those moments are really good imo.

Whats even sadder is that there are other implications of Jinwoo never being around much of Suho's life. Not enough to say he dipped, but rather that he used to work a lot (and also that monster fighting took his time too) so he wasnt always home to spend time with his family. The side srories almost made people think that he really dipped (hahahah), which already shows just how much he doesnt spent time with them, even at the end when he fights the monsters he thinks they should go out to eat something since its been who knows how long when they went out.

Noy only is Jinwoo distancing himself a lot from huamn interaction, but also I think he really wants his son to inherit his powers, becayse the way he trains Suho just feel like– very much with how Ashborn trained him. He is kinder in SL Ragnarok due to some features taken out of the system that dont make Suho completely turn out as bad as it did with Jin Woo (this kid was already born crazy), yet the parenting is also like :) 🤌🤌🤌 why, he is only 15 and he has died three times! And not in the nicest way possible too!

Why cant the kid not even know about his powers? "Kids will be scared of him and he will have no friends" but he is already 15! And in SLR he is almost 22! At least in case something bad happened to both the parents there should have been a shadow right there to take care of him. Jin Woo you have millions of them, you can leave one out for Suho and that one can stay on guard in case everything goes wrong. Which it hella did xd.

Also "he still cant awaken his powers because he is too brash" good point, another good point Suho literally fought its entire way through the dungeons just to go home and still asked you to get out but you said nothing! Sir he wasnt going to run away when he was already so close to getting out. Of course he is going to fight you because thats what he has been doing since he got. trapped. inside. that. dungeon.

In the end, I give a huge shoutout to Beru and Cha Hae In, they are the reason this kid is still alive to this day and have not fuked up their parenting at all, like at all. Even Bellion and Igris gets a standing ovation. But Jin Woo... please get some therapy, bc those 27 years in the dungeon were not good for you, you will probably need some otherworldy therapy from like a ruler instead of a normal person, like you are lossing yourself out there dude. You so ooc dude. Omg tgis was too much. Sorry!

#solo leveling #solo leveling manwha #sung jin woo #solo leveling spoilers #cha hae in #beru best girl #beru best father and mother and nanny #beru stole the show as always #sung su ho

[dappersautismcreature]

hopefully ill look back on today as type b fun (the type thats not fun in the moment but can be remembered fondly) but i just,, hmm

ive been teetering on qsmp burnout for a while now and i think its cause of the super drawn out angst. we have the tension, so so much tension so much tension i feel like i might just explode, but now we need release. i need it i think some of yall need it, the characters need it, or there can be no growth.

long form content runs a risk of becoming like, a cycle of trauma and idk, i call it the "Arrow problem" where they have characters grow and then at the end of the season they reset all of their progress and that happens for EIGHT FUCKIN SEASONS 💀 so there is no end there is no final happy ending, because the authors wanna be edgy or subversive

hurt isnt impactful without comfort, i dont like seeing characters getting hurt because i like seeing them in pain (if you do idc, ur business) i like it because i know theres someone who will go "oh bud, let me help you" and there will be comfort

anyways please have a happy ending please improve or at least have some happy moments because i seriously dont think i can keep watching if the angst just digs itself deeper and deeper

a story cant survive on that and neither can an audience, im begging that someone can just be a level head? idk, im so exhausted

#qsmp #liveblogging #qsmp analysis

[saturniidays]

Hello! I wanted to ask what your thoughts are on Brian Tomasik's work on trying to account for invertebrates in terms of ethics. I'm not a bug person, but an ethics person and I think that, roughly speaking, bugs are persons too and that people should take seriously the idea that they're morally relevant. Given the roughly 3 quintillion krill on Earth, you'd expect them to have sort of the largest pie slice of experiential value. EA people are really into this since it seems a neglected issue.

I have never heard of him; I'd rather look at his work before giving opinion of him in particular. Broadly on the issue of insect suffering, my opinion is that since we do know so little about it, we should act as if they can suffer, if not in the same ways to vertebrates, that they have some sort of equivalent. A little while ago people were arguing with me about methods for humanely euthanizing spotted lanternflies. Someone said freezing was a humane way, and I pointed out that the current veterinary guidelines said it wasn't, and people interpreted that as me saying spotted lanternflies should be allowed to spread... which... of course I was not saying that?? I think the suffering of individual members of an invasive species is less important than the suffering they bring to populations of native species. Even though I don't like the thought of lanternflies dying in a freezer, I have to do a cost/benefit analysis for stuff like that.

Which kind of brings me to the next problem. Insects are extremely numerous. Most lean toward r selection as a population growth strategy, meaning they tend to have numerous offspring because their death rates are so high, there is a better chance that at least some will survive long enough to keep the species going. In other words, it's perfectly natural that insects die all the time, and no amount of human intervention is going to prevent that.

The reason I'm saying all this is because it frustrates me when people think they've helped with insect conservation if they give an individual bee some sugar water, or give a butterfly a prosthetic wing, or something like that. While well meaning, it doesn't really help with anything. You can only really help r selected species at a population level, not an individual level. The best way to do that is to focus on preserving habitats and mitigating climate change. But of course, all the funding for that stuff goes to charismatic megafauna because that's what people care about.

So overall, I guess I approach these things from a standpoint of what would practically reduce overall harm. I think focusing too hard on insects as individuals does nothing for their conservation at best, and distracts from what should really be done to help them at worst. But since you want my moral opinions, obviously, I do not trust anyone who tortures insects. I knew people growing up who fried ants with magnifying glasses and stomped on bees and I hated it. They are literally just animals. There's no reason to be an asshole to animals. I also think it's equally horrific that in some of my entomology classes I was required to dissect live insects. I just can't understand what I would have seen differently had they been euthanized immediately prior. Made me feel sick.

But uh yeah. Thats just my two cents.

#very complicated question thank you #i know im very conservation minded and that probably wasnt what you had in mind #i know someone is gonna get mad at me about this lmao. queue the angry notes and prepare for discourse #asks

[funsize-cenobites]

Personal Headcanon thingy,

Sniper is Australian just as much as Superman was American.

His folks raised him as an Aussie, loved him as one, taught him as one and he never knew anything else. Hes from New Zealand sure but no one knew him there, no one cared for him there, and he never knew. I don't think that qualifies him as a Kiwi past point of origin and even then when defining origin do you think he would think of a place he only went once to meet parents who were utter strangers and had been willing to let him and everyone else go just to sit in space? Or do you think he thinks of the parents he very clearly loves and values the opinions of even when they arent aligned with him?

I was reading an older lore post of @blubushie (irl Sniper fr fr) earlier about Australium and the Piss joke and deeper lore connotations and honestly? I fucking love this. I mean, obviously anything is possible in such a wacky irreverent fictional world- Australium exists AT ALL- but setting that aside for just a moment.. not every Aussie could be a Saxton Hale and on the flip-side its at least heavily (hehe) implied that even Non-Aussies can become like him through the stuff (Classic Heavy).

People vary wildly, genetics and physiology make this stuff so much fun to think about. Im willing to bet Sniper was just 'A sickly child' to doctors and adults in his life. He was just one of the semi-rare extreme cases of a "disorder" that afflicted some Australians, making it harder for their bodies to process or know what to do with excess unprocessed Australium. Kinda like Gluten and Lactose intolerances etc.

Some have to watch their levels to ensure their body has enough time to take it in and some don't absorb enough naturally and take suppliments. Sniper wasn't, as far as I remember, ever really properly accused of not being Australian, just different. [EDIT: I'm a fool, I forgot about the MOUSTACHES. I'm not removing any of this but know going forward I'm aware of it. Check the reblogs, it was really cool!] Im sure thats not uncommon, especially when one of the pinnacles is the likes of Hale. And as far as we know its not like Mr and Mrs Mundy were like... poisoning their kid. Its not like "True Blood Aussies" are the only people who can handle it. They were just raising him as their own and that means making sure he had access to it, in whatever form he could have it.

So even then I don't see Sniper as having 'Missed out' on being Australian or that hes clearly not one because he doesn't look like Hale or punch things. I don't really like that idea. Sniper's parents are old and look fine (aside from the being dead part) but they look like... normal old people. I headcanon that Australium effects people in the specific ways of boosting certain physical and mental aspects such as, Promoting longevity (Obviously) but could also manifest in other ways too like maybe:

A slightly faster than normal healing rate.

Various minor but notable resistances to naturally occurring hazards. (venoms and and extreme heat/cold the like)

Promoting the growth of muscle and the reduction of its atrophy.

Reduced need for sleep.

Quicker mental recall.

Markedly better vision/ Hand-eye-coordination.

You get what I mean.

I don't mean these are all extremely noticeable but they are noticeable at all.

Basically, I headcanon that it doesn't actually automatically make you into this buff beat-em-up brawler who only lives to punch people because thats a bit boring and also Saxton Hale is an impressively unreliable narrator who happens to be really into punching people and anything else that breathes.

Instead I headcanon that Australia truly flourished early under the influence of Australium because of increased lifespans and abilities which allowed for a lot of wiggle room and dedication to anything a particular person might be interested in. I headcanon that they place a lot of cultural worth on Trying Stuff Till Something Sticks and finding something you Love to Do/Study.

Theres a lot of stuff and cultural norms that have become stereotypes due to how a lot of outside views shaped their self-image upon learning about Australium (Like how in America its super super common to have cishet normative ideals for ones future even in childhood) but when you're not a mean little kid anymore and you find Your Thing (or Things) it doesnt usually matter all that much what it is. Usually in adulthood the weirdest thing you can be is probably 'Not Being Into Anything' like anything at all. "You cant even tell me about one book you read that you really liked? What?"

Sniper, is a crack shot, one of the best in the business. Because its what he got good at. Because hes Australian. And they're all good at something eventually.

#Tf2 Sniper #Just thinkin #Im sure theres tons of shit Im overlooking here #But just some morning thoughts #Seriously tho u should check out Blu's stuff its kinda insane #Snipin's a Good Job Mate #Edited because holy shit they dont let you put read mores on things on mobile WHY' #tw Medical Mention #? Maybe? Just to be sure

[eirian]

opinion on zamasu (doesnt matter if its regular zamasu, goku black, fused zamasu, corrupted zamasu etc etc just zamasu in general)

oh now youve done it.

OK SO. like i said in my post abt supreme kais i really adore zamasu as a character bc he breaks the chain of supreme kai characters by being an antagonist/villain! he's a BAD supreme kai. a rotten apple. and we love him for that. he has morals, sure, but theyre not necessarily the right ones--theyre selfish and conceited and skewed morals that only really benefit him and his rightious ego to the point of where he's so in denial that theyre wrong that he refuses to believe anyone is correct about them except himself from another timeline. incredible

i do think that maybe if he had been given another chance early on to learn properly, maybe in a different way than how gowasu was going about it (to me it felt like gowasu was just like "this is wrong and thats how it is, we cant change anything" instead of maybe explaining Why things are the way they are and maybe try harder to help zamasu understand "justice" and "good vs evil" better in a way zamasu could better understand it) he could have been convinced to maybe back down from his extreme plan and come around to good again. bc i dont think he was always evil. he had a heart at one point, albeit one that grew clouded over time, and i think it was able to be tapped into before he went off the deep end. i believe in zamasu redemption arcs dont look at me

ok but goku black tho. i gotta talk abt goku black bc that mfer...is a lot. at his core he is zamasu, yes! but i think after swapping bodies and basically integrating with goku's body, he became a different person. maybe not entirely, especially at his core--otherwise i dont think future zamasu would have completely trusted him like he did--but maybe on a more surface level. as a saiyan, zamasu embraced the destructive and violent part of him. he embraced his bloodlust and even gave into it, and he enjoyed battle just as much as goku did, if not MORE... i like to use this reasoning to justify blamasu as a ship LMFAO. just to throw that in there. BUT ALSO some goku black headcanons that i like are that, being a supreme kai all his life, he doesnt know how to deal with a mortal--specifically saiyan--body properly. he doesn't know how much sleep it needs. he doesn't know how much it needs to eat to be healthy. all he knows is that it has unlimited potential for growth in terms of power. SO, i like to think he's very bad at taking care of goku's body and kind of lets it...for lack of a better word, rot. that's why i always depict him with heavy eyebags, sunken cheeks...he's HUNGRRY and TIRED and he has no idea how to deal with it so he ignores it and blames it on his "unruly saiyan body" :)

as for fused zamasu, i love that bitch. its like the perfect representation of how zamasu literally only agrees with himself and at the point of fusion he's completely engulfed in his own ego and ideals, past any sort of convincing otherwise. and the corruption of his form really seals the deal--he is so far gone he just turns into this ugly, ferocious monster. although back to some headcanon stuff, i like to think zamasu and black fusing was the ultimate form of self love for them, and when goku's attack clashed with him and turned his face goopy...that was part of him dying. the goku black part was dead. half of him was DEAD. he just had half of his body as a corpse at that point, because he was half mortal half immortal. and when that happened, he didnt know how to handle it, so he used the divine lightning to finish the job and completely rid himself of his mortal half, thus breaking down and becoming the hulking beast that was his corrupted form. i love it. i love seeing characters devolve into madness to the point of becoming monsters that represent their psyche <3

in super dragon ball heroes we see fused zamasu again but as a smaller version of himself, seemingly pre-corruption, but it's obvious that it's actually POST-corruption--i like to think fu took him out of his timeline just before he was destroyed physically and surgically removed the decomposing dead parts of him (the goop). that's why he has that armor covering his shoulder and right eye--those were the affected parts of his surgery! i like to think under his eyepatch piece he still has a purple bit of eye under there that fu left for one reason or another

anyway <3 those are my thoughts on zamasu thank u for activating my autism

[zai-doodles]

Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

#zai talks #fairy tail

[skinmite]

stede and ed are in their own little world

theyre both terrible captains. and that makes their relationship with the crew completely fucked. the captain is responsible for ensuring the safety and wellbeing of the crew and neither of them are being shown to give a shit.

eds relationship with his crew hasnt evolved at all from when we first meet him. izzy tells him several crew members died carrying out eds orders to find stede. and eds like “well thats thats their job” then “edward if you dont do something were all were ALL gonna die” “hm theres an idea”. hes very experienced and intelligent but that doesnt help when youre reckless and working as an individual while still taking the title of leader. & not keeping people alive. i kept waiting for him to have any growth there but there was nothing. i wanted it so bad but nah. he said sorry to izzy only. cares about him but hasnt had anything with the rest of the crew. he needed moments individually to make amends i think

stedes relationship with his crew got way worse than it was in s1. he was always captaining when he shouldnt have been and responsible for their lives while leading them into danger beyond his ability to ensure their safety but at least he seemed like he cared about their happiness and saying “talk it through”. like there was room for improvement but he went the other way. with s2 its all become so hollow now. he just doesnt care about their feelings if ed is responsible for hurting them. stede not caring At All about lucius being alive was interesting to me. hes kinda just selfish. he sees only ed on an equal level to him and out of the whole crew only izzy really its true. he hasnt had much one-on-one with anyone else.

and then after ed tried to kill half the crew/kill people the other half of the crew love. and all decided their Feelings are “kick him off”. stede still chose ed. they always choose eachother over the crew. and Yeah it makes sense theyre in love. but theyre captains of a pirate ship with a huge target on all of them. but only looking out for the other one. the crew sees how theyre treated. theyre dissatisfied but resigned to their fates. the whole “eh whatever. the captains always get away with it and we just deal with what they put us through” conversation. and really Dont see those two as family at this point lets be real. ed and stede are too focused on each other to be a family to anyone except ed and stede. its true izzy is the only other family member you had it accurate the first time.

they could have changed that if any effort was put in at all but they havent gotten to that point. “oh these people love you oh theyre your family” you cant just write that in and have the crews actions this whole time leading up to that contradict it. just untrue. maybe it being the dying wish of someone who they did actually consider family helped their relationship? a little bit? izzy still picking up eds slack. but then in the end the crew just seem happier without ed and stede. those two arent team players they act as individuals. lone wolf

and thats FINE but not on a ship. having stede give them that push at the beginning of the show was great. to crack their shell a little bit is what started the crews overall growth and im sure they care a little bit about stede for that. and theyre soft people i know they have a lingering connection to them. but they have Not “talked it through” theyre literally “bottling it up” it sucks. theres hope but ed and stede have to reach out but they simply havent. really the way the show is written was the crew-minus-captains becoming family together and ed & stede going off on their own. unfortunate but its just the content of the show. i have a lot of thoughts about this im probably missing something. but the captains/crew relationship was so disappointingly lacking

#ofmd spoilers #💌

[sldlovescartoons]

Okay, so I've been thinking (always a dangerous activity lol) about Beth, or specifically: Which of Jake's Pups does she descend from and thus which Pup's family line went on to found/rule the kingdom. I have come up with two (2) answers. The biggest thing I'm going on is the last name Jakson and what we know about the pups.

My main theory is that the pup population only really started to expand rapidly when Pups who are prone to having litters have kids, a few years after Come Along With Me. Kim and Charlie had singletons like rainicorns (as horses mostly have singletons). And so when the population exploded, there was a lot of chaos with large numbers of magical creatures roaming the land. Conflicts in the kingdoms they were living in because of their rapidly expanding numbers and maybe trophy hunters looking for a sort of holy grail? And so they needed to establish a place for the pup where they could be safe. Figuring out how they get the land isn't even difficult: Kim or his descendants could use his real estate connects to get land to build a city/kingdom on. From there, it's just a matter of... who leads them. and thus who Beth descends from.

The first option: Jake Jr.

Jakson is pretty clearly 'Jake's Son' smashed together. Thats normally how names come to exist. This would indicate that, as long as the family ruling the kingdom was always ruled by a direct descendant of a specific pup, that the founder/first ruler of the pup kingdom was... Jake's Son. Jake Senior has 2 and only one is the ambitious sort (I'll get to him later). But another option is that they were Jake Jr's son. So thus still Jake's Son. The long and short of this one is that Jake Jr has a son, and they were either the first leader of the pup kingdom, having acquired the land through their cousins, or that someone from Jake Jr's male line (a descendant of one her sons that she would have at some point) took the throne sometime later down the line whether peacefully or through force. 1,000 years is a long ass time and we don't know what their lifespans actually end up leveling out to be.

The Second option, and the most boring one: Kim Kil Wan.

Kim, Jake's Son, founds the pup kingdom by using his real estate business to accumulate land, becomes the first leader of the Pup Kingdom. People in power, who knew his dad from his hero work with Finn, call him Kim Kil Wan, Jake's Son, ruler of the Pup Kingdom. The Pup Kingdom is ruled by the Jaksons.

I think about the Pups way too much, tbh. To get to 38,000 pups by the time Beth is born, roughly 38 pups would have to be born every year from CAwM onwards. Of course, that's not how population growth works, so more likely is their was a massive explosion in population towards the start when some pups would have litters and before the pups rapid aging wasn't fully curbed yet, and eventually things settled, like genetically, and pups started aging more normally and having singelton (and sometimes twins as creatures who have singletons are prone to do) pregnancies. At which point population growth stabilized and slowed, making the chaos from the super powers their biggest problem. Enter Gibbon.

#adventure time #the pups #theory #theory crafting #at theory #adventure time theory #headcannon #rambling #adventure time headcannon

[nevermore-the-kitsune]

MHA Leak 362 Spoilers

I'm gonna say it. I don't think their gonna kill him off...completely

Because

A) Bakugo has been voted the most popular character in both the U.S and Japan in all but one popularity poll (the first one was Deku). So on a "political" level it doesn't make since. It would be like killing off Washington (Red vs Blue), or Karma (Assasination Classroom)

B) MHA has a recurring theme of symbols. Bakugo is Izuku's symbol of victory and heroism. To kill that symbol now of all times would be like saying "we can't win." Or "victory is impossible." Because if Bakugo represents heroism and dies, then hero society symbolically dies. If Bakugo represents victory and dies then the heros have lost.

Unless, in the end... thats what MHA was building too.

C) Bakugo has had the most growth out of the MHA cast. He did a full 180, and started walking twords his dream. He went from an arrogant hot head who couldn't see past himself and became someone who would risk his life to save others. He was the walking definition of the problem with a superpowered society. Being praised for a powerful quirk filled his head and turned him into a... terrible person. But it would have happened to anyone. After all he was a child. Just look at child prodigies and how they act.

But he learned learned, he grew. He went from the school bully to someone to admire.

The current theory is that Izuku is gonna show up see Bakugo and activate The Seconds Quirk and fight Shigaraki. Since Bakugo was the reason for several of the OFA Quirks activating.

Speaking as a writer, that sounds like it would be an insult to Bakugo's character. He went through so much growth and change, only to die too become the reason for a quirk activation?

MHA is no stranger to tragedies

The nomu and Sir Nighteye are proof enough.

But Hori has said that he would treat Bakugo's character with care. So to die here would reduce him to a Fridge character.

A Fridge Character is a (usually female) character that is ment to suffer or die and kickstart or motivate the protagonist. Its become less popular in media but its still common in Anime and Comics. Think Uncle Ben, or Deadpools Girlfriend in Deadpool 2. Batman's Parents. Zelda in most Zelda Games. Eran's mom. And Ed and Al's mom FMA.

To reduce a character like Bakugo to a Fridge Character would be an insult to him as a character. It goes against who he is at his core. Hori hasn't despondented yet. I don't think, as a fellow writer, he would get lazy in the final stretch.

D) This was given to us from a leak. The chapter isn't out yet its out August 7th and 8th depending on on your Country. If he was really going to die, then they wouldn't leak it.

Maybe I'm wrong. Either way I hope he gets a death that's fitting for a hero.

#my hero academia #chapter 362 #spoilers #mha chapter 362 #bnha bakugou #bakugo katsuki