#like there were ppl with bpd there

[bpdstevenuniverse]

// TRIGGER WARNING - hospitalization

i know that there are many, many different disabilities that manifest in unique ways, but i think the worst sensation i had while i was in a psych ward + in the partial hospitalization program was that i felt like i was still the "crazy" one in places that were supposed to make me feel less alone.

#like there were ppl with bpd there #as well as bipolar ppl #but every time i tried to talk to someone they always silenced me and i felt like i was losing my mind #not just the patients but the staff #literal mental health professionals were the coldest and more insensitive assholes i've ever met #straight up telling me my suffering isn't real #or when the director told me it would be my fault if i jumped from the window #and not the fucking hospital for not locking the doors and windows in empty rooms #what the hell!!!! #suicide mention tw #psych ward #partial hospitalization program #hospital tw #hospitalization tw #ableism tw #actuallybpd #actuallybipolar #venting #personal #my journal #ranting #ranting in tags

[ellipsiseffervescent]

Cutting off parents is so fulfilling and powerful and i wanna let the kid who's still tryna have that relationship with their abusive parent know that it's not worth it. There's no magic combination of words that will make them take responsibility, just cut them off and move on.

#Parents #Narcissistic parents #Bpd parents #It feels so good to just be in life for you #Toxic parents #parental abuse #Obvi not all ppl w stuff like bpd are gonna cause trauma this is just if those particular struggles relate to how you were raised

[nicepersondisorder]

got told that if i had npd they (my friendgroup) would've noticed already today. lol. lmao even

#that person was also gossiping abt ppl he didnt like in the friendgroup which i approve i dont like them either #HOWEVER he said 'one of them has npd and the other has bpd. telling u so u could see what a pair they make' and i just stood there 🧍 #like. dude. #you were the one who called another person out abt the ableism when they used autistic as a derogatory term. why are you so weird about pds #sighs #☆.txt #sent him some resources abt npd !! bc like. i still wanna be friends with him so i gotta educate him #cw ableism #maybe? not sure if i need to tag it but i'll tag anyway. jic.

[girlwithfish]

I was getting kind of sad thinking abt my hypersexual phase like I was hurting soooo bad lolll

#🙄 #idk #i finally understood bpd hypersexuality last yr when i was at my lowest #tbh hookups r kinda fun bc the excitement of fucking someone new does appeal to me bht #also i wanna be in the arms of my lover idk #And i felt kinda sad cuz i used to b so in love w my ex and sexually compatible and like the type of sex u have when ur in love #nothing beats it #And idk sex can feel empty when ur using it as a coping mechanism #and also i get worried ppl justbuse me but i also make myself easy to use idk😑 #Idk idrc abt half the ppl i hooked up w or likeany of them but they were fun in the moment ig!

[solittles]

thinks about dave k's bad take on hickey n his potential personality disorder. gets upset again .

#he literally says “idk enough abt pds to have a proper take” and then proceeds to have a horrific take #“sorry everyone who studies psychology” #apologising to psych students but not to the ppl with pds listening who u keep harming with your horrible take? great #not that we were ever considered human to begin with (which dave k proves as he keeps talking abt hickey) #anyway my hot and correct take is that hickey has bpd. #no he doesnt have npd or aspd. #everyone is always like evil = npd/aspd #or worse. calls them emotionless & low empathy and psychopaths #psychopathy isnt a diagnosis. having low empathy/few emotions =/= evil or inhuman #also like. dave talks about how hickey would use his hyper vigilance to be a better manipulator #i love how everyone seems to forget that the symptoms ppl with pds have isn't something we choose or can use. it's just the way we are #because of severe childhood trauma..... #but nooo lets not talk about pds being trauma disorders because then u would have to consider us human beings who have hurt #and keeps hurting #he also says that hes not sure hickey can feel real emotions. adjacent to saying he may have a pd. #as if not a lot of suffering from having pds comes from how we can't handle how intense our emotions are in relation to society #so we end up repressing every emotion to survive the day. because if we allow ourselves to feel #we'll end up hurt again #anyway #bpd hickey truther 4ever #elliot screams

[bpdamandayoung]

you know what i think what fucked me up the most was knowing my father is capable of hitting me and will hurt me when he thinks i deserve it

#hi didn't do it often but he slapped me a couple of times for sure #so yea that was 1 thing but knowledge that the person who was supposed to protect me was the one most likely to hurt me was something else #being called names and getting yelled at for small mistakes + my health not being taken seriously + being constantly told i don't deserve #nice things + being constantly reminded i'm not as good as my brother all combined to fuck me up so well now i have bpd #but y know it was okay that they did that bc they paid for things and were nice when ppl came over #i fucking hate it here gonna do some arts and crafts n cry #child abuse mention #depression and stuff

[peapod20001]

In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3

#vent #oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday? #hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin #just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol #hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often? #laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol #hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps #is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!! #oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!! #like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow #I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!! #now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :) #uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment #I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone #mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it) #anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu #I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my #guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa. #squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou #oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man #2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried #with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah #it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only #gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned #for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new #girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or #emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid #for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much #NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here

[rottingsick]

will never understand people who can be Normal abt their mental illness. I gotta romantize media that demonizes people like me, dress like a walkin red flag, I can and will pull out a knife as a joke, show everyone within a 5 mile radius of me all the pictures I have saved of my hubby on my phone but then tell them to fuck off if they find him attractive, excuse all my faults with the fact I'm juste a littol bnuuy, and always make it known I am seconds away from splattering my guts against the wall at any given moment. like how do you go "I struggle sometimes" and leave it at that.

#bpd yandere #irl yandere #actually yandere #yancore #jirai kei #text #rotting #mine #I seriously can't go into most mental health spaces without wantin to puke #they don't cater towards my kind of insanity. why the hell do u think I'm on yancore and jirai tumblr #I licherally wouldn't be here if I wasn't kicked out of normal spaced #and when I mean kicked out I mean like. actually removed and kicked out and told I'm 'too dangerous' #despite the fact they were supposed to be groups for ppl with stigamtized mental disorders #ever considered that ppl get worse when you literally deny them spaces to heal #and lord knows I'd get locked up if I was honest with any doctor #ngl me sayin fuck recovery is less of a choice and more so forced upon me as I was denied it #ppl like me don't simply get better becaude we're forced to lie to have rights and denied any access to help when we do open up

[dsgustng]

Ppl who are in fandoms for YouTubers I beg u to get better hobbies please

#even when i rlly liked youtubers the idea of being into them and treating them like fictional characters and drawing ship art was . strange #liking a youtuber and being in a 'fandom' are different things. these r real adult men. #real adult men who dont know u exist and would probably be like disturbed if they knew u were obsessed with them #like they were some kind of anime boy #im autistic i understand liking things that are weird but also its just kindaa. idk ... invasive and creepy #i have bpd i also understand latching onto ppl i get it but like u have to sorta confront urself if this is like . healthy or appropriate #why cant u ppl realize how dehumanizing and disrespectful u are being to these like. real human beings u have never met b4

[wygolvillage]

i hope everyone who posts shit like "(insert abuser here) has (insert disorder here) so that means people with that disorder are inherently abusive!!! im not comfy with you interacting!!!" literally explodes. and if you use certain disorders as literal synonyms for abuse i hope you explode twice

#ppl were like this about npd and now ive seen something similar about bpd... please just dont be ableist for 5 seconds #the amount of people who would call every single abuser a narcissist etc etc. i cant imagine what it would be like to have npd and see that #constantly all the time #ableism

[quebrntahuesos]

ppl on tiktok are so excited about being diagnosed, bitch i wake up every day wishing i could just live normally

#the bpd diagnosis felt like a stab in the chest i didn't really want it to be true #and when i got the adhd confirmed i was just mad #yeah it's helpful to know what's going on but #yall be celebrating it as if it were something beautiful which no it's really not #its a harsh reality and i cant do tje most simple tasks bc of it #i wish ppl just shut tf up

[githvyrik]

when some kind of influencer is like. accused of abuse or shitty behavior (cheating and whatnot) the comments on videos about it are like “now not to diagnose but this is how narcissists are 😳” which automatically tells me they have no clue what they’re talking about. like do you seriously think you can say that based off a bunch of very curated content??? or worse, if it’s a video talking specifically about the shitty things that person did, a very concentrated amount of specific evidence of exclusively their worst behavior??

#like. does this make sense #ppl are like. pretty tired of blaming shit on bipolar and they were on bpd for a while #but I guess they’re getting tired of that buzzword and now have moved on to npd. for fun I guess #Hot New Topic #because god forbid ppl without personality disorders be bad people #not possible. they have to have Something Wrong With Them #because ppl without Scary Disorders couldn’t possibly ever do bad things :) #ppl just love to find ways to separate themselves I guess

[snekdood]

Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.

#im not saying its cool for them to abandon you but cmon. you have to consider sometimes other people and what they can handle #bc if you keep manipulating your friends or whatever theyre gonna get used to being manipulated and expect it from other people #whatever the case. people have limits. your friends have limits. im not saying theyre always justified. im not saying your friends are #never abliest. but they do have limits. and if you're yelling at them all the time about being perfect or whatever you cant exactly #be surprised when they dip out. #like for example. im a p aggressive and angry guy. clearly. if youve seen any of my posts. #ive always got something to rant about. and while im not quite as much like this irl its still a thing about me. im very very vocal about #whatever injustice i percieve happening to me or others lol. but i can understand why me being intense and angry and ready to throw hands #at the drop of a hat would make some people want to avoid me. i understand it makes some ppl feel scared and unsafe. #its not something i try to do. i dont try to make ppl i like feel unsafe. i try not to be that way around ppl w those kinds of issues #but im not gonna throw a fit and be like 'you guys are okay with bpd until i get really really angry and call you a cunt' #like... uh... yeah. i dont blame ppl like that for dropping me entirely if im getting angry all the time around them and it triggers them #and i dont seem to stop or be able to stop. #sure its not great. sure i dont want to be as aggressive and angry around anyone let alone ppl afraid of that sorta thing. but this is #the current state of my being. its something im working on. and i can understand why some ppl cant handle me right now as i am. #idk. just. shit like that man #another example. im hella hella HELLA bad at communicating via technology. unless you're in front of my face my mind just forgets we were #even talking sometimes. this naturally will cause issues. how am i gonna get upset at someone for being mad i stoped responding #in the middle of a conversation? sure i didnt mean it. this is purely unintentional. however that doesnt change the fact of my actions. #it doesnt change the fact that that person might feel unwanted. i can apologize day and night but until i actually try to be more attentive #of my phone this is just gonna keep happening yknow. how is it fair to get mad at other ppl for getting mad at you over that?

[perenlop]

tbh the postgame in reborn has actually been really fun and good for the most part. its not bending over itself to stretch out several episodes w several characters its just a bunch of fun misadventures with some of the cast here and there. this is probably the most “pokemon” esque the game is bc pokemon actually drive the plot and play with the actual canon. unfortunately it is dragged down by the fact that this is still reborn

#the florinia one where you get her to realize its okay to be in touch with her feelings is so cute so sweet #and then it goes ‘’omg titania shes sooo tragic florinia stopped feeling bc she just felt so bad for her and was afraid of someone evil #like amaria :(‘’ #we get it amethyst you hate people with bpd and think they are burdens on their poor nt friends #i know amaria is not in the right but you can talk abt how someone threatens suicide when a boundary is set up #without going ‘’wow ppl with depression suck theyre so draining ugh’’ #that may not be the intent but holy shit with the amount of times the game calls amaria a burden and has titania guilt trip #and the whole reshiram route #meanwhile the game goes ‘’WOW titania you fucked up’’ like. once. like hello she is not innocent either #idk this kind of conflict just. needs a lot of time and nuance dedicated to it which this game clearly cannot do #also they were based on real ppl which is…. erm #which makes ame making amaria try to kill you bc edgy y*ndere trope even worse holy shit #i obv cant vouch for these people in real life but this makes me wonder abt their real relationship #if ame used direct words from them then they clearly were more involved #amaria rants going on for too long thats not the only thing. the other was corey. again. #damn ame is REALLY proud of putting in her real life colleagues suicide for shock value huh #thats 4 times its been repeated now. #echoed voice

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#like u kno how they say ppl get emotionally stunted to the age they were when they were first badly traumatized #pretty sure its that plus bpd plus it feels like trauma has shredded a hole right down to my soul #its like. i still feel everything with the insane intensity of a toddler but w the emotional intelligence and maturity of an adult #its exhausting lmao #its kinda like. being on shrooms all the time i guess? which idk probably only makes sense to someone whose done them #..... thing is. i think humans are naturally very empathetic and sensitive creatures. im also pretty convinced by now that our evolution is #tied up with shrooms. so like..... i dont even think its particularly abnormal?.... just... very impractical in the damn cold society we #live in nowadays

[russersprouts]

Swifties r headcannoning Taylor Swift as autistic now bc she knows cat breeds

#remember when ppl were saying she was bpd #I fucking hate swifties man #like. I’m not against self diagnosis but I’m definitely against diagnosing other people