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haesunflower · 1 year

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meeting the parents with zb1

genre: fluff

pairing: reader (gn) x all members of zerobaseone

about/tags: zb1 is introduced to your parents for the first time

cursing in some, yujin is here platonically, family dynamics, bullet point reactions

⠀⠀ kim jiwoong ⠀⠀

is so confident lol and has every right to be

during dinner, one of his hands lays flatly on your leg because you keep nervously fidgeting in your seat

he doesn't get why you're panicking because it's going so well

you're just nervous because you've never introduced anyone to your family, as jiwoong is your first serious adult relationship

while you're washing the dishes with your mom, jiwoong overhears your conversation and finds out he's the first boyfriend you've ever brought home

"but for the record, i think he's perfect for you y/n."

"i didn't want you to meet anyone i'm less than sure of, jiwoong is definitely the one mom"

⠀⠀ zhang hao ⠀⠀

is a fucking nervous wreck

literally can't think straight and scared he'll say something stupid

so at first, he doesn't really talk at all

you softly squeeze his hand from under the dinner table, just to let him know he's supported

your mom ends up really liking him and tells him he has a gentle soul

"that's one of my favorite things about him, mom"

looks at you fondly smiles

across the table, your parents are reminded of a young version of themselves

⠀⠀ sung hanbin ⠀⠀

is so helpful oh my god

literally sets up the table and helps your mom carry the cooler to the garden

even helps figure out how to work the grill with your dad

your parents are impressed to say the least

your mom whispers to you, "you better marry that one"

hanbin is busy sharing a beer with your dad, toasting to the grill that was now working

he looks back at you and gestures for you to come closer to taste the meat that was grilling – makes sure to blow on it so it's not too hot before feeding you

you're chewing happily, and hanbin is smiling at you with his eyes

⠀⠀ seok matthew ⠀⠀

he is quick to become friends with your dad

they bond over conversations of sports teams and weightlifting, and they disappear into their own world

the rest of your family arrives for the pool party

your dad and mom are throwing water balloons at each other when matthew giggles from beside you and says "that'll be us one day y/n"

you're distracted by his sweet words you don't even realize both of you are being pushed in the pool by your younger siblings

matthew pretends to look offended and starts to playfully chase the culprits

you're smiling to yourself because you can't believe how easily he fits into your family

⠀⠀ kim taerae ⠀⠀

your parents already knew taerae

he grew up next door and was also your first boyfriend

it was literally no problem, no issue 100%

when you wake up at noon, taerae is already dressed and helping your mom prepare for dinner

you're just like./??? when did you get here?

your mom calls you lazy and says she is grateful to have a son-in-law like taerae

he smiles widely at the word son-in-law, dimple on full display

you don't say anything, instead you stand next to him to quietly assist him

the whole thing feels domestic, but you're not complaining

it feels right :)

⠀⠀ ricky ⠀⠀

he ordered flowers in advance for your mom & expensive whiskey for your dad

covered up his tattoos and wore his hair down to look less intimidating

even asked you if he should just dye his hair natural color because he was scared your parents would HATE him

you kept assuring him there was nothing to worry about

ricky is perfect so he nailed it obvi! he didn't show an ounce of nervousness and kept his cool the whole time

your dad jokingly asks him if he should also bleach his hair blonde

you all laugh at the dining table as your mom hits your dad playfully

(your dad isn't joking) (in fact asks ricky to bleach it for him)

you wake up the next day to texts from your dad, it's a selfie of him getting his hair done by ricky

⠀⠀ kim gyuvin ⠀⠀

you're scared that your dad will scare the shit outta him

and for the record, he did

"h-hi sir, it's n-nice to meet you sir" while bowing literally too many times

gyuvin feels like his face is frozen in a forced smile as your dad asks him all sorts of questions about him ,,,, it feels like a job interview

he relaxes when you start drawing small circles on the back of his hand

in the end your dad says "okay you pass, you're pretty decent"

gyuvin takes it as a win and just breathes out a sigh of relief

you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and while you're gone, your parents sincerely thank gyuvin for making you happy

gyuvin in return thanks them for raising such a wonderful person, and tells them that "loving y/n is the easiest part of my life"

you didn't actually use the bathroom, you just wanted to know what they'll say without you there :') you're soft now

⠀⠀ park gunwook ⠀⠀

is literally so prepared he STUDIED what your parents like by stalking their facebook and took notes while asking you detailed questions about them

just in case, made a whole speech to answer the question "what do you like about y/n?" (he didn't end up using it but he came prepared!)

lol the usual, everyone loves him

your mom barely acknowledges you during dinner and serves gunwook all the best parts of the steak, literally no one hears you ask for someone to pass the potatoes bc they're so engrossed in conversation with gunwook

gunwook hears you though and happily serves you a heaping, whilst responding to your dad's question with ease

your mom smiles at the interaction

at the end of the night he proudly says "i think your parents like me :D" and he's so cute because he looks so satisfied with himself

⠀⠀ han yujin ⠀⠀

(friendship only)

during your recital, your parents think he's some sorta dancing prodigy

which is true because he only started dancing a year ago

at the lobby, you and your parents bump into yujin and his family, and they commend him for doing so well during his solo

when you get home to check the footage from the recital, you're barely in any of "your videos" because it's 70% yujin -_-

A/N: work is killing me guys, i don't know when i'll be able to sit down and just write huhu

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oh-koenig-my-koenig · 6 months

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Fit for a King - WIP - "You are tiny"

Fit for a King - Masterlist

König fanfiction scenes and chapters that do not yet have a coherent plot

planned content/TW: rivals to lovers, König x fem!character (not too descriptive to make it accessible for more readers), social anxiety killing machine König, badass friendly FMC, dual POV, secret relationship, switch energy, NSFW, adult themes, strong language, violence (more details are still unclear, gonna update as I go), authentic austrian german

a/n: well, my brain isn't letting go of this newest obsession of mine, so I will appease it and write some scenes/chapters that come to mind. i have written more original work and less fanfictions and our boy (and KorTac) is hard to research, but I'll try my best to stay some-what cannon to the lore. it'll also probably get darker down the road.

if your character doesn't have a tragic backstory, why not give him one?

A not so meetcute

(CW: some mature language)

I strut along the hallway, I'm already late to report for duty and turn the corner abruptly. I collide with somebody else at full walking force and almost get pushed to the floor, if the big figure blocking the light shining from above wouldn't have caught me. "Ouch.", I yelp, more surprised than hurt, even though I feel like ran over by a truck.

I steady myself to look at the "truck". I look up and I keep looking up and up. At first there's just this chest, a huge chest, in a simple compression shirt, but oh boy. The weapon holster is what I see next, sitting snug at the side of his torso. Shoulders, big broad shoulders, and normally you would expect to have a head sitting on top of them and a face looking back at you. I guess, he has one as well, even though I don't see one bit of it. I strain my neck to finally meet his eyes.

But all I see is the dark black of a… sniperhood? A T-shirt? I mean, it looks like a t-shirt, that somebody cut holes in to fashion themselves a kind of mask. The front is stained with bleach, two streaks coming down from the eyeholes... My eyes widen as it sinks in who this is. König. KorTac operator, field combatant and one of my superiors. Shit. I've heard some rumors about him. And it seems like at least some of them ring true.

"You are tiny.", he states matter-of-factly, his Austrian accents shining through the uttered words. It's the first thing he says to me. "And you are... not.", I retort. I can't make out his expression as it so obviously is hidden by his mask. He nods, turns around and heads down the hallway where he came from. I shake my head. What the hell was that?

I stretch myself, feeling the impact of the collision already. My god, that was like being hit by a battering ram. I heard that his specialty is breaking down doors with brute force. I thought this to be ridiculous, but now as I watch the gigantic muscled man strut down the hallway, quickly disappearing, I do believe it. 6'10" killing machine. Ridiculous.

I shake my head again and make my way to the meeting room. Ridgeback is already waiting for me.

______________________________________________________________

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Verdammt. Ah, des hast du ganz super g'macht.* I tell myself sarcastically in my head as I basically run down the hallway. She must be one of the new hires. Must be. And you almost turned her to mush. Mus. Brei. Human remains splattered against the wall. I curse myself again. I didn't even apologize. "You are tiny." No shit, Sherlock, everybody is tiny compared to you. I continue to mock myself. Fuck, Shit, Fuck.

"Ridge, since when do we hire children?", I ask him as soon as I enter the room. He doesn't even look up. "We don't." He keeps reading. "Then why did I just almost run over a recruit that didn't even reach my waist?" – “Because compared to you, everybody seems tiny.” He sighs and looks up at me. “None of our personnel are under 6’, not even the women.”

“Even the new recruits?”, I ask him again. He furrows his brow. “What did you do, König?”, he wants to now. “I may or may not have almost trampled one of them.”, I say, kleinlaut***. He sighs again. “I think that was Müller, she’s actually on her way here.”, Ridgeback says. “Müller? Is she german?”, I ask in surprise. I didn’t hear such an accent on her, but to be fair, she only said like three words… and I wasn’t really paying attention to her words anyway.

On cue, the door opens and I fall silent. “Permission to enter, Sir?”, she says with a clear voice. Not at all seeming like I almost turned her into pulp. I take two steps back to stand in the back, trying to blend into the wall behind me – which I already know from experience is not going to work. “Come in.”, Ridge says. “Müller, right?” She nods and approaches. My focus is fully on her, all the small bits I noticed about her before are still there. She’s not wearing a mask because it’s not necessary off mission. You know, like you normally would. She has laugh lines. Around her eyes and mouth. Fucking laugh lines. She doesn’t look like she belongs here.

The two of them are talking, but I catch every single time when her gaze lands on me, even if it’s just from the corner of her eyes. I fight against the urge to turn away every time she looks at me, when I hear Ridgeback drop the old s-word. Sniper.

My ears perk up and I finally pay attention to what they’re saying again. “Your track record is almost immaculate, Müller. You’re gonna be an asset to the team on the next missions.”, he says to her. I can see that she tries to hold back a proud expression or smile on her face, but she doesn't really succeed at that. God damn it, a sniper. I groan and make my way to the door which doesn’t go unnoticed. “König.”, Ridgeback pipes up. “You wanna show Müller the way to the dorms?” as I already have my hand on the doorknob.

I still for just a moment and the roaring sensation of anxiety seeps at my feet and crawls up my body until it’s nested at the back of my head. I can’t talk to her. Not after embarrassing myself before. “Nein.”, is all I say before I’m out the door.

*God damnit. You did a really bang up job. ** two different words for pulp/mash *** meekly (word for word: 'smallloud')

#könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig x fmc #könig fanfiction #dual pov #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut

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vyntilador · 1 year

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Let Me Cherish You

The boys catching you talking oh-so affectionately about them🫶

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Genre: Fluff / Romance

Character/s: Marius, Artem, Luke, Vyn

Fandom: Tears of Themis

A/N: me rn screaming into my pillow and getting all giddy writing vyns part LMFOAOAWHSHAHAAHH

(you talking is color red, marius is purple, artem is blue luke is orange n vyn is green btw)

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𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓼

You were over at his family home havinf a small chat over tea with his father when he suddenly raised the question; "What did you find in Marius that made you love him?" You pondered the question for a moment, gathering it all and smiling to yourself as you thought more about him. "Well, for starters, I love his eyes. That maybe sounds a bit basic but I love the way he looks at everything as if it's the most priceless thing in the world. He uses everything he sees as an inspiration either as a painter or a businessman. Even if he had this.. 'annoying' laid-back attitude, I admire him for still being able to make me smile and comfort me in dark times." You were unaware of the smile blooming on your face as you kept going. "In all honesty, there's kind of a lot of things I like about him. Maybe some, I haven't found yet or some that are just so amazing that I can't put it to words." Austin von Hagen laughs softly and later then turns his gaze into the doorway where his son stood, frozen and staring fondly at his lover.

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𝓐𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓶

(god he deserves all the wholesome energy in the world so here😭)

You and Artem were stationed in an orphanage for a task in the law firm. The job you were given was connected to a child that resides within the orphanage which led you to your situation right now. You were sat on the floor with a number of children surrounding you as they 'interrogate' you. "Miss, is he your husband?" A little girl speaks up, her big, innocent eyes gazing into yours as if she sees your soul itself. "Uhm, no—" You were taken aback by the child's sudden inquiry that you stuttered slightly. "Mr. Wing is my co-worker. He's not my lover." You smiled sweetly at the child as you explained to her. "But how come you act like a married couple?" What..?—"Yeah! My mommy and daddy act exactly the same!" two kids now spoke and your panic increases. "Missy, if you're not married, then surely you like him, right?" A little boy asks and you sigh internally at the sudden turn of events. "Look! Miss attorney is turning red!" Many of the kids cheered and you sighed once more, not knowing how to deal with them. The children begged you to answer their questions and you were left with no choice. "..Yes, I kinda like him." You responded in a soft and quiet tone, making sure he doesn't hear. "But why do you like him?" a child asks, gaining the other kids attention. "Why do I like him..?" you ponder for a moment then spoke. "Well, he's really kind. Whenever I'm working, he's always looking out for me. And also, I look up to him! He's such a great person overall that I want to be like him. And.." "Look! She's smiling! " A little girl interrupts and the room full of children erupt with cheerful voices. "That's what my dad always does whenever mom comes home from work." The hoard of children discuss amongst themselves once more and you felt helpless until the sweet sound of a voice all too familiar was heard amongst the voices of the children. "Hey now, let miss have some rest. She's been very busy and I want you all to take good care of her, not tire her, okay?" "Okay!" the children agree in unison. Artem smiles to himself as he thinks of the words you described him as. He makes sure to stop by at the flower shop before going to work tomorrow.

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𝓛𝓾𝓴𝓮

A karaoke booth packed with 'adults' screaming singing their hearts out. That was the kind of situation you were currently in with Luke and your old classmates. Luke held the microphone in one hand while his eyes were trained on the tv displaying the lyrics. Your gaze stayed unmoving on him until somebody spoke up from beside you. "So, you still like him?" You whip your head to the direction of the voice to see one of your old best friend along side Luke back then snickering. You stayed silent, not knowing how to answer. More of your friends heard the topic of discussion and crowded around you for an answer. "What'dya like about him?" "If I had to guess it's probably his academic ability." "No! Not only that! Look at his build." "I can't believe you guys only look on the outside. It's his personality!" They all argued about which it was you liked about him but the answer was clear in your heart. "I don't like him just because he has a well built body or he's very intelligent but, I love him because he's always sincere. Ever since we were children, he was always honest with me. He never hesitated to do anything just to cheer me up and I love him for that. Though, I think he's gotten used to basically throwing his own well-being away just to save me and I wanna keep his mind at ease that it's not only him that has to protect the other. I'll protect him too, even if I'm not really capable." The girls that swarmed around you all swooned and squealed in excitement, saying how your love story would be just like a kid's fantasy novel about princesses. A blush bloomed on your face, mimicking the color of red flowers while trying to avoidtheir gazes but what you were unaware of was that Luke was looking straight at you the whole time, falling in love all over again.

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𝓥𝔂𝓷

You were only supposed to bring him lunch when you're suddenly swarmed by his students, all asking you questions as per your sudden appearance within the school. All the female students all talk amongst themselves while the others interrogate you and suddenly, a voice pierces through the noisy atmosphere. "Wait! You're all asking the useless questions! Miss, are you and Professor Richter dating?" The room goes quiet as all the students' attention turns to you. They all move closer to you demanding an answer and you sigh, defeated. "No, we're just..." as you thought of an answer, you suddenly cut yourself off , thinking if you were friends, acquaintances, work partners or...lovers. "... friends?" you finish your answer in an unsure manner. The students scoff and others laugh. "Come on miss, we're psychology students. There's no way in this green earth that Professor Richter looks at you like that and you're only friends!" students all agree and nod as they talk loudly once more. "Well, let's just say you're just crushing on him, what do you like about Professor Richter?" A rosy tint slowly emerges to your cheeks as seconds pass while you thought deeply about it. "Well— uhm.." you sigh and just decided to speak your thoughts. "He's very kind and caring. The moment I saw him, I already felt comfortable around him, with that soft expression he has. He's good both inside and outside. And uhm, please don't tell him but, I was already captivated by him on our first meeting. I mean— if you'd all just seen how cute and...attractive..? he was! I swear, I could've melted right then and ther—" the sudden sound of a low chuckle in the tone and voice you're all too familiar with interrupts your words as you look up and see all the students' eyes wide while some cover their mouths and you slump knowing that he's right behind you. "My rose, can we speak privately for a moment?" his voice was calming and smothered with loving affection and you take a quick look at the students again all hurrying out the room to give you privacy all the while snickering amongst themselves. "I've told them to get home as soon as classes are dismissed but they still don't listen." he takes a few steps to stand in front of you and he puts his finger underneath your chin to gently tilt it upwards so that he can lay his eyes upon your face. "But I guess I have them to thank for letting me overhear how much you adore me." he takes your hand in his and gives a chaste kiss on the back of it. "How about a dinner date then, my love?"

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A/N:this shit messy fr💀

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scary-lasagna · 5 months

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Ok so slender gets a girlfriend and keeps it a secret for a while. Then one day he comes home with his baby and asks the proxies to babysit for a day. How do they react?

tldr: slenderbabies are weird

Slender

He would never ask them to baby sit a child when they can't even look after themselves for a day.

Toby has an unbeaten record of hurting himself at least one a day for the past three years. Jack has been keeping tab.

He will, however, allow them the grace of witnessing his first born child stuck to his face.

Slenderbabies are uber strong, and there's no way to get the child off of him.

But if there will be anyone to figures it out, it'll be the proxies.

"Tickling is a no-go." Brian announces.

So there sat Slender, perched at his desk and sweating buckets while gazing at the clock. He would surely be late at this rate. And as much as he loved his little mouse, he need them o f f.

"What about the keys? Anything?" Masky questioned.

"Negative." Kate answered.

"Oh my god guys, it's a kid, just pick it up." Clock stepped forward and put her hands around the baby's little pudgy tummy and attempted to pull them off of Slender.

It didn't work. Just like the 6 other times they've all tried.

Slender sat in silence, the only thing announcing his disgruntle was a quick sigh.

"Cocomelon! Kids love Cocomelon!" Toby was already pulling out his phone.

"Do not! Cocomelon makes them violent, I don't know why do not ask me." Slender spoke up.

Toby slowly puts his phone away.

"Any chance you can just show up at the meeting like this?" Masky asks.

"I cannot see."

"But you don't have eyes anyway..." Kate whispered, thoroughly confused.

The statement was ignored, and Offender walked in with Sally, considering Splendor was gone on a business trip. "Nice glasses."

"Shut your mouth." Offender only snorted at his brothers remark before lifting Sally up on his desk.

"Beat fire with fire."

Sally only giggled at the baby, greeting with a rub on the back. "How are you?" She smiled. She was met with only babbles.

"Would you like to come play with me? I have tea sets, toys, and Mrs. Rachel, and plushies, and we can watch a movie together."

While Sally was talking, she manages to wrap her arms around the baby, tugging a little, but to no avail.

"I HAVE THE BEST IDEA!" Toby suddenly yelled, startling nearly everyone in the room. most importantly the baby.

It started wailing and Sally tried to soothe it.

Slender debated if he started to cry, if it would help the situation.

Toby returned soon enough with a small shiny ball, one of Sally's.

"You gave me an idea Sally. Maybe it doesn't want Slender, just his head."

Slender slowly looked toward Toby, hoping he could feel his seething anger.

"I'm serious!!" Toby exclaimed, and stood to the side of Slender, present the ball within the baby's sight.

The wailing turned into confused sniffles, and then unlatched one clawed hand, reaching toward the ball.

"Bro, I'm gonna be the best fuckin dad, I swear." Toby grins, before quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, realizing he cursed not only in front of one child, but two.

Sally giggled, but also helped the child, maneuver from Slender's face to the ball.

Slender took a sigh of relief. A moments peace before he realized he was desperately late, and shot out of his seat.

"I need to go. Just don't let them watch Cocomelon." He called over his shoulder, and headed toward the door.

Toby was still holding the baby latching onto the ball as Slender left the manor.

"What do we do now?"

___

Slender returned home after a soul-crushing meeting to meet almost the entire manor piled sleeping around the couch.

His baby was still clinging to a now deflated ball. Upon gazing at this sight, toys, baby food, adult food, and children's books were scattered amongst the creeps. Spaghetti somehow got on the ceiling.

Little stinker wasn't even a year old and they've already accepted them as their own, sacrificing their own sanity to calm the baby down as it wailed when the ball popped.

Who knows how long it took for everyone to fall asleep. Slender settling himself down by Masky, who was barely keeping his eyes open. His head eventually drooped onto Slender's shoulder, who was reading a picture book out of curiosity.

Maybe he will let them babysit more often.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagines #creepypasta blog #slender #ticci toby #proxies #familial

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mofffun · 3 months

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King-Ohger Character Song memo

link to streaming

Gira - Kind King

oooh rock! something Taisei himself likes? (Masashi mentioned they quickly became friends because they have football and rock bands in common)

the opening electric tunes is a consistent Dug motif

His voice is SO cute and the mismatch with the instrumetns XD

I like 'i gotta we gotta' part. catchy kinda slogan-y like self pep talk

Gira will stand up to unjustice and do it himself, but with the bonds with his friends too 😭😭

the longer I listen to it the less it sounds like Taisei?? and closer to sports anime freshman protag. I look forward to listening its live version.

Overall the song is very motivating and cheerful, let's just say it does sound like something Gira could write himself.

there's no beating INFERNO, but the lyrics is direct and cute, very fitting for Gira's character.

You get the chara song is how the character wants to express themselves and the image song is who they are from an outside perspective.

Yanma - Teppen Online

hmmm I'm surprised by the chorus? (+ve)

musically I don't find much surprise with this one but I like the chorus. Try & Fight and I'm still alive were just too impactful.

no wait it sounds like the most we learn about Prez?

In the lyrics he said, "some things don't need to be said (out loud)" and yeah, he's a bit shy in expressing affection huh? Or say, he believes in action more than words and he's the traditional manly type that's like, "hing1 dai6, sum ziu3 lah"

Himeno - Golden Garden

the "I wish" song in musicals

That's Erica's voice???

'K I can see the second verse as Hime singing to Rita.

ah no bridge (I think none of them have bridge? :(

A very beautiful song. Gives me a 2000s shojo amime ED vibe.

Rita - Moffun's Song

Yeah no, I don't like Rita's stuck being a Moffun fan in their character song. Can't say I'm more impressed by the full version as a Yuzuki fan either

The short version impressed me by showing Yuzuki's range in just under a minute. The high note is moved to the very end of the song from verse 2

Some rationalize it as Rita themself choosing to use this version to represent themself and I can see the reasoning behind Rita's caring interior should've be apparent by now and you have the contrast with Ignorantia but UGH I want the Chief Justice actually singing about their struggle and duty and YOU KNOW MAYBE TOUCH ON THEIR CONNECTION WITH GOKKAN????? IN HIRAKAWA'S LOW IKEMEN VOICE???

On the other hand did we ever get an explanation of why Rita likes Moffun in the first place? We know it's not some tragic backstory and honestly, they could've like it simply because it's cute. And yes, I can infer why someone like Rita would like something like Moffun but hnnnnn it's not canon

but another contradiction I'm facing is actually I was glad to see an adult character who's not afraid of showing their otaku passionate side, but Rita's not fully committed to that...

Kaguragi - 仰天珍道中

hohoho I so look forward to Kaku-san's singing.

oh my god that's really good???

i can see him on a showa TV show in a white suit

this is gonna be a brainworm

it's much faster than I expected too.

there's lore in this lyrics… (looks up japanese dictionary)

Jeramie - 線上のTrickster

Masashi's in the "singing voice close to speaking voice" group.

Jeramie, you're not beating the Noel allegations

has some early 2000s J-rock vibes I guess?

It's not a bad song ay any rate but again (like the perfume) doesn't feel very Jeramie to me?? Maybe I've been paying too little attention to him my interpretation deviation from official's for the second time?

(I like The Prophet better but maybe this will warm up to me)

#mon mon

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woodelf68 · 6 months

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LOKI 2.4

I don't see why they can't keep Dox in Holding forever; they had no problem pruning Lokis into the Void for forever. >.>

Dammit, Sylvie, it would have taken OB and Victor five seconds to sign each other's copies of the TVA Guidebook; could you not let them have their brief moment of fanboying joy?

OB's explanation of the Loom is very helpful here; it reminds me of the Doctor on Doctor Who explaining sciencey things to his companions on screen so that the kiddies (and adults, lol) at home could understand what was going on. (Okay, so the TVA as a TARDIS, discuss. Look at all those long corridors its got for running in!) I loved OB's "...the backlog of branches that was created when someone...*looks accusingly at Sylvie* ...killed He Who Remains and released all those branches and ruined my life." (Aw, come on, OB, you're out of the basement now! You're making friends and meeting admirers of your work!)

Loki claiming that the little figure in the model was clearly not him so why did he have to be the one to 'hoof it' and lob the throughput multiplier into the Loom? Well, Loki, you have very long legs and can run fast, also tradition has been established that your character is the one who gets sent to do the hard jobs for others; just be glad you're not being asked to steal Surtur's flame and doom Asgard this time around. (Of course, your decision to abscond with the Tesseract has already caused the TVA to erase the Asgard of your timeline, people and realm both, so...uh, never mind, pretend I never said anything.)

MOBIUS AND HIS PIE AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT THE TVA LACES THE PIE WITH DRUGS TO KEEP ITS WORKERS DOCILE AND HAPPY WITH HAVING NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK AND POSSIBLY ACTS AS A CONTINUAL DOSAGE OF SOMETHING THAT KEEPS THEM FROM REGAINING THEIR MEMORIES? MOBIUS CAN'T GO TOO LONG WITHOUT ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE BECAUSE HE'S EXPERIENCING THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS OF AN ADDICT. I was so happy to hear Sylvie call him out on his pie-seeking habits and his refusal to try to find out any information about the timeline he was pulled from. Like sure it might hurt to remember a family whom he'd lost, but I'd rather honour the memories of loved ones by remembering them than being too cowardly to do so.

I have to agree with the point I saw raised in another post of 'WHY do they have to fix the Loom? Surely all the multiple timelines managed to exist just fine on their own before it was created?' Also, hoo boy, did Loki's speech about how you can't free a people and then leave them to look after themselves remind anyone else of Asgard's justification of being the ruler of the Nine Realms? Keeping a military presence on those conquered worlds? AND NO, LOKI, YOU'RE NOT A GOD, YOUR DAD TOLD ME SO IN A BIT OF THE SACRED TIMELINE YOU DIDN'T GET TO EXPERIENCE. Although this time at the TVA is Loki's post-Thanos period when he was claiming the same thing in the Sacred Timeline, wanting to be a 'benevolent god'. So...that actually ties in.

Um -- do we all agree that Miss Minutes looked orgasmic watching everyone (except Brad) be crushed in the cube thingie?

(Was Loki pruning himself related back to the time slipping thing? I still don't really understand what the point of that was.)

OB: But if I reboot Miss Minutes, we'll lose the magic dampeners in the TVA!

Loki and Sylvie: THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF A PROBLEM!

Oh hell yeah, Bradley, prune that bitch! I HOPE YOU END UP IN THE VOID WITH A HUNGRY ALLIGATOR, RAVONNA.

Kudos to Timely for sensibly asking if it's safe before sticking his head inside some alien machinery and not just blindly following instructions.

LIGHT! BEAUTIFUL LIGHT IN THE TVA! I don't care what this means as long as I can properly see what's going on!

Oh. Oh shit. Spaghettification is what's going on, huh. *Salutes Victor Timely* May you get the afterlife you hoped for, sir, you died a noble death. Guys. Guys, stop staring into the blinding radioactive light; I'm sure that's not good for your eyes.

And...what a cliffhanger; it's like FINALLY all the pieces are falling into place and the story is getting to someplace exciting. That was a good episode; I hope it keeps up this pace next week and something good happens if the Loom is going pear-shaped. I gotta try to remember to watch this on Thursday for a change.

@delyth88 -- finally felt inspired to make a long reaction post! (And my stupid computer glitched about 2/3 of the way through and I had to rewatch what I'd already seen to remember what I had been commenting on! I blame the TVA.)

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peach-and-bugs · 11 months

Note

That is very good, feeling extremely gay is the best.

While I'm here (since I was gonna request this last night/yesterday but I fell asleep), do you have any thoughts/head cannons on Adult!Yellow Jackets (whether you include cannon adult YJ's by themselves or as well as the others that died ((Jackie, Laura Lee etc)) is up to you) as parents/how they are around kids.

Just a thought, since Mama Lottie is the only thing I've been able to think about for weeks and I'm super excited for chapter 2 (no pressure on releasing it of course), and thought this would be cool.

If not don't worry I'll 100% understand if you don't xxx

-🐝

Oh my gosh, this is absolutely perfect for me, thank you so much for asking me to ramble about the girls as moms/aunts. It's my favorite thing to think about. Some of these will expand upon what I said in my SFW alphabet

Yellowjackets as parents/with kids

tw: food shame/judgment with Jackie religious themes with Laura Lee (all positive endings)

Jackie

✰ Jackie had a very strict upbringing to me. She was obsessed with being perceived as perfect and model all the time and I can only assume that was instigated by her parents (mostly her mother)

✰ She seems like the type to have kids, but she's always trying to improve upon how she grew up because she knows how that pressure feels and doesn't want that for her kids

✰ For whatever reason, I see her as a girl mom whose last kid is surprisingly a boy and she's thrown for a loop because she's so used to having girls, and having a boy is suddenly so different

✰ but as a girl mom, she tries to be really open for her daughters. She wants them to see her as just a normal person because that's how they'll then look at themselves. She's also that mom on holidays or family gatherings that lets her kids have control over what they eat

✰ I headcanon her mom was one of those almond moms who was always talking about what Jackie was eating or looked like and she's not gonna let that happen to her girls. She wants them to have a positive relationship with food from the start so they don't have to learn it like she did. She's opening up the pumpkin pie at thanksgiving before dinner is served and giving each of her kids a slice and noone can stop her

Laura Lee

✰ Laura Lee is still very involved in her church and faith in her adulthood and I can see her wanting that for her children too, but she makes it very clear that that faith for them doesn't need to be strictly Christianity. I think she'd probably take them to church when they're little, but she'd be really open to letting her kids know if that's not something they want, they can tell her they no longer want to go

✰ I can perfectly envision her as one of those moms at pride with the free mom hugs shirt on and proudly holding up her sign about how god made everyone beautiful as they are. She's also taking in any kid who needs a roof over their head and a hot meal, no questions asked

✰ I see her wanting to fully or partially home-schooling her kids. Can't really explain why, but it feels fitting

Lottie

✰ We already know a lot of how I look at Lottie as a mom, given my mama!Lottie tag and fic, Bean Sprout, but I'll never skip an opportunity to gush about her more!

✰ she's the epitome of the crunchy granola mom who's taking her kid out to the garden with her, encouraging them to dig in the dirt in their rain boots and overalls to find worms and other bugs and taking them on hikes with the dog. She's got her kid and her dog with her all the time.

✰ She's the kind of mom who wants her kid to try everything at least once, but not in a pushy way. She thinks it extremely important for confidence development that her kid knows that it's ok to try and fail because you can always get right back up again

✰ She's also really good with other people's kids. She likes watching the way kids think and the best way to see and understand that is by getting to know them on their level

Misty

✰ Misty's awkward around everyone, and that extends to kids as well, but she's a little better with kids than she is with adults. She babysat back when she was a teenager, so she still knows a thing or two

✰ part of me can see her as a mom while another part of me doesn't. I think had the crash not happened, she'd be more likely to have or adopt a kid of her own, but in the crash timeline that feels far less likely

✰ that or it's a situation where she thought she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up because "that's what everyone wants" but as she gets older she realizes that no, she really doesn't want to be a parent

✰ but I do think she enjoys being around children to some degree due to her babysitting days

Natalie

✰ So Natalie is an interesting one because my immediate reaction is always no, in no world does she like kids, but then I remember that she's actually pretty chill with kids and we see that when she goes to Kevin's son's soccer game

✰ In no way do I think she'd have a kid of her own, but she can definitely be the favorite aunt, that's for sure. She's gonna teach her friend's kids about the reality of the world, maybe how to get away with some very petty crime (but if they actually do it, she'll be pissed) and she's gonna go and take them to do the things they aren't supposed to, like getting sweets before dinner

Shauna

✰ I think Shauna prefers younger kids. She's definitely having a hard time with Callie and the teen years, but based on how she talks about Callie when she was younger, she enjoyed the younger days

✰ She seems like one of those moms who had trouble making other mom friends, but it's alright because she's go her little girl keeping her company

✰ I feel like Callie was her little mini-me, which makes her growing up harder

✰ she's definitely one of those moms who kept a baby journal when she was pregnant, writing to her baby nearly every day and she managed to keep it up throughout a good chunk of her childhood. she's planning to give it to Callie when she graduates high school

Taissa

✰ Tai gives me the vibe that having a kid wasn't something she initially considered when she was making her life plan, but now that she has Sammy she'd never go back

✰ I'm really hoping we get Sammy and Taissa again in season 3 because when she's in a good space and caring for herself she really is a good and caring mother, and it made me sad to lose that completely in season 2

✰ I personally think Samone carried Sammy and Tai stayed by her the whole time, making sure her wife got the best care she possibly could when they were in labor. After he was born and she got to hold him, she got this overwhelming feeling realizing that yeah, she's a mom now and this is her little guy to take care of

✰ she's definitely an only-child mom to me. I don't personally see her wanting another kid. can't really explain why on that one

Van

✰ Very much like Natalie, Van gives off chill aunt or step-parent energy to me. I don't see her having kids of her own, but she's definitely really good with kids. The only way I see her as a mom is if she gets into a relationship with someone who's already got a kid

✰ She'd be willing to babysit her friend's kids as Aunt Van and she loves hosting them at her house for sleepovers. Breakfast is always fun at the Palmer house, and it's guaranteed to be very sugary

✰ I mentioned it before, but I can imagine her hosting summer parties in her backyard and grilling lunch with a bunch of kids running around playing with water balloons and squirt guns

✰ she's definitely got a box or closet full of cool toys for when she has kids visit. She also loves teaching them about the movies she liked growing up and taking them out on all kinds of outings

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mad-c1oud · 3 months

Note

Idk if the eggs technically count as half of a duo but "I won't let anything happen to you" with either slime & Tallulah or slime & flippa perhaps?

CHARLIE AND TALLULAH YES YES YES I LOVE YOU ANON

did anyone else see that she left charlie a letter because she MISSED HIM kill me just do it I can't go on like this let them hang out, let them reunite let them heal-

+++++

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Charlie pulls Tallulah to his chest, footsteps sure even in the pitch-black of the hallway. His sobrina doesn’t really need the reassurance; Tallulah is being braver than him in all honestly, her breath even and calm despite his own racing heartbeat. He’s her tio and an adult so he needs to take the lead here, though. This isn’t a place for eggs, this is hell.

They really outdid themselves for Pomme’s birthday this month. Someone needs to take away Baghera’s scaryfrenchman.png away, though. It’s a little overdone this time around. Doesn’t stop him from screaming heroically when another popup of one jumpscares the living daylights out of them. Charlie is so fucking brave and tough it's insane. Truly incredible.

“Oh my fucking god. You’re so lucky I was here to protect you from that guy, ‘Llulah. Jeez-us.” Tallulah giggles in his ear, the sound like music and a harsh juxtaposition to the groaning and crying someone is pumping in through speakers.

It’s not often he gets to hang out with her one-on-one, but the egg had spotted him lingering near the entrance to Pomme’s Haunted Hospital during the party and grabbed his hand, asking if he’d go with her because she was nervous. Who is Charlie to turn down some Tallulah Time? He doesn’t question why she didn’t ask literally anyone else, just beyond happy she asked him.

“AH!” Charlie shrieks when a cardboard cutout of… oh my fucking god is that Melissa in a sexy and bloody nurse costume- “Tallulah let’s- let’s not look at that for too long, for both of our sanities, yeah?” The egg laughs as Charlie obscures her vision with a hand, navigating them around an OSHA-violating nurse and onto- oh nice, a morgue.

Charlie removes his hand and just stands in the doorway, egg at one hip and his hand at the other. He tries channeling his best disappointed Dadza before speaking into the space, “Okay, this is cliché even for me. Whoever is hiding in a body bag and totally one of the lockers, jig is up. Too easy.”

He waits for a long moment while Tallulah keeps laughing hard enough she has to use her inhaler. Charlie waits for her to catch her breath, happy and no longer scared shitless. As Tallulah calms down, the body bag near the doorway rustles and the actual Roier pokes his equally bloody head out, pouting.

“No fair, I got everyone else but you, Slime.” The spider hybrid whines, flopping back into the bag dramatically. Charlie checks to make sure Tallulah is good before walking into the room, approaching Roier to pat his head sympathetically. Ew. Sticky. He’s also wearing that nurse costume, of course. Should have guessed.

He continues past the other tables and the wall of body lockers, towards the next door as he talks, “You’ll get ‘em next time, big dawg. I’ll even set the next person up-”

“BOO!” Pac and Mike scream from their respective lockers, doors flying open to reveal them decked out to the nines in decomposing makeup. Charlie has a split second to notice Pac even took his prosthetic off for the bit, but a split second is all he gets, unfortunately.

Things go well after that! Charlie handles it well, of course.

Unrelated but Fit is going to kill him.

Five minutes later, after the panic and terror have worn off enough to realize what he’d done, Charlie has to be led out early by a Roier near tears laughing, Tallulah securely in his arms still as Pac clutches the back of his shirt, bloody nose leaving an appropriate trail of blood through the final rooms of the haunted house. Charlie is going to say he just helped decorate.

“S-see, mi eggy Sabrina, didn’t let anything happen to you...” Charlie mumbles into her mess of hair before turning around to check on Pac as they weave in and out of dark corridors and scary Frenchmen, "Now Pac on the other hand... or should I say leg."

That gets him a flick at one ear and laughter in the other one.

Oh well, they’ll try again next month. Together.

#qsmp #qsmp fic #qsmp tallulah #qsmp slimecicle #slimecicle #qsmp roier #this one got away from me...#not sorry I love them more than i can handle #mad writings

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turtlesocksv2 · 3 months

Text

Liveblogging Dead Friend Forever Ep 7

I am SO SO SO excited for this and for PhiNon I am READY let's GO!

LMAO Phi and Non met on Thai Grindr I don't know why that's so funny to me. But they're so fucking cute oh my god. The way Non smiles when they meet face to face the first time! They're both immediately smitten. The date montage is killing me. Non feeding Phi! Pinkies Locked while walking down the street!!! I love them so much! Phi is absolutely 100% justified in murdering everyone over this little love story.

Phi's dad is kinda hot in the one second we saw of him, not gonna lie.

Them pulling a Lady Ant The Tramp on an apple is objectively hilarious but they're so cute that I'll let it pass.

Phi is so fucking in love. The matching bracelets are so cute. Something something Red String Of Fate something something. what a lovely bit of joy this opening bit has been.

Aaaaand we return to your regularly scheduled awfulness. That music really immediately brought the tone back. Remember that everything is terrible? Remember that Non might get arrested? Remember that Non eventually goes missing at best and is murdered at worst?

Ooooh! Phi's dad is a fucking cop! Real high up, too! well that makes things interesting. but lol at Phi being soooo Ride or Die that he's straight up lying to his dad that he's involved in The Crimes too just to save his boyfriend.

"But don't worry, there are no problems that I can't fix." PHI. PHI my murderous revenge seeking king. I love you. but perhaps calm your tits a little, you'll freak Non out even more than he's already freaked out. boy has Anxiety! Phi is so right to tell Non that he needs to change schools and that those aren't real friends but Non isn't ready to admit it yet.

See, Jin tries to help Non but it doesn't actually do anything. Because Jin has no spine or he wouldn't still be friends with people who bully the boy he likes. Phi actually helps Non. Get you a boyfriend like Phi, not like Jin.

Also it's so funny to see Non just not responding to Jin's heart eyes. Jin's got his hand on Non's shoulder like 😍 and Non is just blanking him. 🧍‍♂️😐 Hilarious.

Ah, i Knew that this was going to be the PhiNon Conflict: Phi is (rightfully!) upset about Non not sticking up for himself and leaving those assholes to do the movie themselves and keeping secrets, Non wants to handle his problems on his own and not have Phi sweep in every time to fix things and judge him. I'm sorry, Non, but you dicked down a latent obsessive crazy person (affectionate) and this comes with the territory. It's the Theerapanyakul coming out.

Pinky Promise! that i am 100% sure is going to be broken in like 30 seconds. I'm calling it now, i have the episode paused to write this but i am betting that the next scene transition is going to be to Hot Teacher manipulating Non.

Damn, I was wrong about that being the next scene but I FEEL IT. It's going to happen! Damn, they didn't even bring Non with them? he had to ask the villagers for help getting to the mansion? WOW.

Now Por, if this kid literally got you involved with the police for money laundering why the FUCK would you give him your credit card to go buy food for everyone? i get that you just don't want him around and want to punish him but that's just dumb.

Jin wants Fluke to also stand up for Non but that is not going to happen ever.

God Por and Top are so mean.

"It's my money, if I want something, it'll happen." "it's in my hands it must be mine, tell your dad to come sue me." fucking rich people.

Oh is this going to be the betrayal that means Jin has to die? That Jin convinced Non to stay and then Non ends up missing/dead? Jin must feel so guilty about that.

here we go, a scene with Hot Teacher. I know something's about to happen with this I can feel it. The music is making me so tense and now they're sitting on the couch together! and like, Non absolutely should be telling a teacher/adult about all this! but just not THIS teacher/adult. I do not trust him! "I see you as a brother" my ass.

AND THERE IT IS. I CALLED IT. lmao at Phi calling Non when he's leaving Hot Teacher's office. Phi's spidey sense was tingling.

aaskjfhj Phi fucking showing up to see Non and mr keng talking and he immediately clocks that it's Not Right and that mr keng wants to bone Non.

"you don't seem to trust me at all" because you're not being trustworthy! you're making bad choices! Phi is right and has never been wrong! just because he's a bit intense and overbearing with it doesn't mean he's wrong! god, Non being able to say that to Phi with a straight face when not even a half hour ago he was making out with mr keng. incredible.

I just want Phi and Non to be cute and happy and a little insane about each other and nothing bad happens ok. :(

Uh oh. Jin caught them!

Non no! don't give Tee 300k in cash to give to the boss! He's going to steal it! and then fucking Tee sets Top on Non to stalk him to figure out who gave the money.

OH huh. Hot Teacher is working with an investigative journalist to take down the mafia scammers? Oooooh, i bet that this is how Tee's uncle gets arrested. hmm. well maybe Hot Teacher Mr Keng isn't entirely terrible but he's on the thinnest fucking ice.

oh L M A F O is Jin gonna walk in on Non and Hot Teacher going at it. He already caught Non with Phi!

but OOOOOOOHHHHHH HERE WE GO. HERE is Jin's betrayal! Taking video of Non and Mr Keng getting it on and then getting drunk and POSTING IT ON TWITTER OH MY GOD. JIN NO.

and eeeeeeeveryone has seen it. oh god. Phi's seen it too oh no. i'm dying. i'm levitating in outer space.

the bracelet broke! something something red string of fate something something!!!!

oh fuuuuck. This is why Phi goes psycho revenge scheme on them. "you want me to forgive you? get lost and die." those are going to be Phi's last words to Non aren't they? aren't they? i hate it and i love it.

and next week shit is going to continue to hit the fan. i am vibrating. i need more! this is amazing!

#dead friend forever #dff the series #dff #i am screaming and crying and throwing up this was so fun

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blubushie · 5 months

Note

can u explain everything in ur dni list and y u have it as dni? i think itd be funny

Yeah, sure. I think it'd be funny too.

Having to cut this in half cuz it's long.

Are vegan (vegetarians are fine). -> I can't stand vegans. Oh my god, can I not stand vegans. Every vegan I've met has been an insufferable idiot who doesn't understand that going on an all-plant diet is still destroying ecosystems. Growing their crops requires space, this space results in deforestation, the widespread use of pesticides and poisons kills billions of animals every year and results in that poison being passed down the food chain, killing animals that aren't the initial target of the poison. Vegans act like hunting is luxury while not acknowledging native land rights, while not acknowledging that for many people hunting is the only way for them to survive multiple months through the year, vegans consider themselves holier-than-thou and are sure to remind you of this. Too many vegans deny basic biology of human being omnivores--this is why we have canine teeth, pointed molars, and incisors in the shape we do--or they make the argument that despite being omnivores, there is no reason to eat meat as we live in the "modern world" and therefore supplemental vitamins are readily available. This is ignoring how expensive these supplements are, and how unavailable they are to many people. Also M*lbourne vegans chucked red paint on my car and I still find flakes sometimes between the slats. Cost me almost $200 to have it powerwashed off and to pay for a new advertisement sticker.

Are a cyclist (bikies, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Cyclists can't stay in their fucking bike path and keep riding in the street. What's the fucking path for if you're not gonna use it? Bikies are on thin ice because they're like cyclists but Cooler.

Don't like flanno -> All I wear is flanno

Are scared of snakes -> I love snakes and, as pest control, I'm tired of explaining to people that you're more likely to be bitten by a snake while trying to move/kill it and that you should just leave snakes be.

Are scared of bugs -> I love bugs

Unironically say "NAURRR" (Aussies are exempt) -> As an Aussie it's just... really fucking annoying. Get better jokes. This one's overused.

Drive a manual (I'm jealous of you) -> I cannot drive a manual because I always second-guess myself when I shift gears and then shift to the wrong gear or accidentally ride the clutch.

Scream when you're afraid or startled -> I don't do this normally except when I'm on the horn with someone and do it as a heads-up that I'm muting myself to talk to whoever's interrupted me. Also this'll kill you in a survival situation.

Don't take your shoes off indoors (WTF is wrong with you?) -> It's gross and rude.

Have never loved the stars too fondly -> I love astronomy.

Claim your favourite flower is roses -> Cliché.

Like the colour pink -> People always think this is a misogyny thing but no, it's a trauma thing. Additionally in the Australian mental facility I was in as a kid, my room was painted a soft pink and so now I just hate this colour as a whole.

Don't wear a watch -> I always wear a watch. It's dependable when your phone dies.

Don't like vegemite (WTF is wrong with you? x2) -> I'm an Aussie.

If you DO like vegemite, DNI if you eat it at level 6 or anything below 3 -> I'm an Aussie.

Eat vegemite plain off the spoon (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? x3) -> I'm an Aussie.

Call all cattle "cows" -> I'm also a stockman and this is annoying. Cows are female cattle who've had calves, bulls are unneutered male cattle, heifers are female cattle who haven't had a calf yet, steers are neutered young male cattle, bullocks are neutered adult male cattle.

Use chapstick (let your lips split like a real man) -> I don't use chaptsick and eventually my lips stopped chapping.

Weren't sacrificed on the altar of Victoria Bitter -> Aussie and bogan.

You drink Foster's -> Aussie and no one here drinks fucking Foster's.

Call thongs "flip-flops" (wrong) or "jandals" (inhuman) -> THEY'RE THONGS.

Are a ranga -> Rangas are redheads. Gingers are ok. Rangas don't have souls.

Wear neon colours (hunting orange is fine, safety green is only permissible for tradies) -> Eyestrain. Also people who wear neon make me nervous as someone who hates attention being drawn to myself in public.

Like wearing shoes -> I hate shoes.

Wear socks and ESPECIALLY if you sleep with socks on -> But I hate socks more! Autism no like.

Like maths (you're an alien) -> I am very bad at maths. I know enough to be a sniper but even then I usually use a calculator and/or my Kestrel app.

Wash your face every morning -> Exfoliate with sand like I do.

Don't know how to change a tyre -> Everyone should know how to change a tyre because you never know if you're going to need it. You might need it, someone else might need it, etc. It might save your life some day. Life skill.

Think heat above 80F/25C is "unbearable" -> I'm an Aussie, suck it up.

Have never ridden a horse -> I pity you.

Don't know the difference between revolvers and pistols -> It's annoying.

Have, at any point, unironically uttered the phrase "assault rifle" -> You don't know anything about firearms and don't have a leg to be standing on in conversation regarding them.

Are from M*lbourne (Victorians, you're on thin fucking ice) -> See the "vegans" thing. Also M*lburnians are largely up themselves and the whole city suffers from Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're not better than anyone, cunts.

Are from New Zealand -> Basically M*lbourne but a whole country. I'll admit a lot of my "hatred" is just for show, though. You're our dickhead little brother and we hate you and also love you. Nobody fucks with the Kiwis but us <3

Are French/speak French (Africans, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Bad experiences in regards to the language, but as far as nationality goes, see "pompousness."

Are Canadian -> Bad experiences with Canadians.

Are French-Canadian (double-wrong) -> Very bad experience with a pompous French-Canadian.

Are English. The rest of the UK, you're on thin ice. -> Pommy cunts. You're not my dad!

Are from a city with a population higher than 1mil. People from cities with populations of 30k to 999k are on thin fucking ice. People from cities/town/shires/villages with less than 30k I love you. -> I grew up bush in a town with a population of like. 5. And now there's zero.

Think "bogan" is an insult -> It's not.

Don't shave with a knife (people who use straight razors, you're on thin fucking ice, people who don't shave at all I love you) -> I shave with a knife in the bush and straight razor when I'm around people (because getting caught shaving with a knife is a good way to have your girlfriend yell at you for being stupid).

Have never been sunburnt (only for people who can get sunburnt) -> Get skin cancer like a real man (like I have).

Don't like camping -> I love camping.

Own decorative towels and ESPECIALLY if you get mad at people for using them. It's a bloody towel and I'm using it for its intended purpose -> This has happened to me too much and I get pissed every time. Why do you have it if you're not supposed to use it? How am I supposed to know it's not meant to be used?

Believe in astrology -> I don't trust people who judge others off their fucking star sign instead of their actions.

Have a skincare routine and/or wear makeup -> I don't like people who are vain. Life's so short, who cares about your appearance, go out there and enjoy life.

Drive a Toyota Prius -> You're probably a shitty and/or obnoxious driver, you either speed or drive too fucking slow, never use your indicators when changing lane, or cut people off.

DON'T love thunderstorms -> I love thunderstorms.

Were born after 2023 -> You do the maths.

Think catching toads to get high is "animal abuse" (the toads are fine unless they're cane toads, fuck cane toads, all my mates hate cane toads) -> It's not. The toads are fine (again, unless they're cane toads, which I kill because they're invasive species).

You microwave water for any reason -> Jostling microwaved water causes cavitation bubbles to burst, which can make the water itself spray you. This results in boiling water drenching your arms and probably face. This is how you get severe burns. Stop doing it.

Have never been to a B&S ball -> They're fun and I pity you.

Don't believe in aliens -> I refuse to believe we're alone out here.

Are taller than 158cm/5'2" -> Fuck you for being taller than me!

Take multivitamins (aka you are healthier than me) -> Fuck you for being healthier than me!

Haven't read my fic (minors exempt, do not read it) -> Please read it if you're an adult, I put my heart and soul into this shit...

Don't like bush ballads or sea shanties. I'm going to show up at your house and aggressively sing Waltzing Matilda at 3am outside your bedroom window -> I like sea shanties. And the sea.

Think the term "blackfella" is racist -> It's not, it's the preferred term for black (native) Australians.

Would give me up, tell a lie, and hurt me -> Get Rickroll'd.

Don't bless the rains down in Africa -> Get Tito'd.

You shave your eyebrows -> No eyebrows makes me nervous since I kinda depend on them for reading faces (autism)

#blu whos #wow this is long #soz

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anawrites3 · 7 months

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📘+ nurse x doctor forbidden relationship au but happy ending sladick

Your writing is so fun to read oh my god. Thank you so much for doing this.

The moment I got your ask I got excited because it's such a good prompt hnnn but I really had to think about it!

Dick would be the nurse, obviously, and Slade would be the doctor. They'd be working on some children's ward and had a lot of work on their hands - and because of that they wouldn't have much time for themselves so they'd try to spend every free moment together, even if it means sneaking around the hospital. It would start with them hiding somewhere in the hospital to talk and make out a bit, maybe they'd even try to do something more but they are interrupted before anything can happen.

After some time someone does catches them when they're together, maybe one of the Titans (other nurses) or maybe Jay or Tim who also work in the same hospital. Regardless of who that is, they'd react in the same way - tell Dick that Slade is just using him because he's so much older and the best doctor they have while Dick is just a mere nurse. And that's exactly why Dick wanted to keep the whole thing a secret.

Then Bruce would learn about their relationship. Dick feels like his whole life is falling apart - Bruce as the head of the hospital is making his schedule so he has no chance of even seeing Slade for a second; they're planning to move him to another ward to put even more distance between them. Slade and Dick still try to see each other outside the work but it was difficult earlier and now Dick's friends and family do what they can to prevent that. They still text and call each other but it's not the same and Dick is just so tired of all this bullshit.

So, he calls a meeting for his loved ones. He has no intentions of explaining himself because he's not a fucking kid but he's going to tell them all to leave him and Slade alone. He's an adult, he knows what he's doing and they can kiss his ass, thank you very much.

"But Slade is a doctor! What if people find out and then they'll talk and you'll have problems because of it!"

"For fuck's- People already talk! Bruce runs the fucking hospital and he's my dad! It literally can't get worse than that."

Happy ending would be that Dick's family would get their heads out of their asses after that. They're still not happy about it but they can see that they're hurting Dick by what they're doing so they decide to trust Dick judgement on this one.

The last scene would be a parallel to the first one, with Dick and Slade hiding somewhere in the hospital to make out and someone walking in. But now instead of hurrying away from each other so noone will know about their relationship, they simply continue to make out while (let's say) Jason complains and gets grossed out haha

…i am adding that to my wip list, aren't i goddamnit And again, anon, thank you so much! I'm really glad you like my writing muah muah thank YOU for being here with me 💕💕

#i cant decide which one ill do for that 'one scene' writing game im planning on #cant decide between the first scene or the one where dick yells at everyone to leave him and slade alone #you guys can let me know what you think!#this was lovely anon thank you so much #ask game #au ideas #my ideas #sladick #forbidden relationship

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ask-but-beware-the-consequences · 9 months

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Note: OK, first things first, I started drawing this while traveling on a bus, in an Easternish Europian country, so the roads were very bumpy and it was hard to write, so I'm going to write here the texts too. I hope you like this short story I came up with! ^^ (I'm obsessed with putting easter eggs into everything)

1: God: Today I unite you, God: And all shall witness.

[Crowley hides themselves with his wings] 2: A: It's alright, my darling. No needd to cover me. God: He is right, Crowley. You can't fight anyone's fate. God: For it has already been written. God: My sweet children, I have sent humanity for you to learn from. God: And you two were the first ones, who ever did. Crowley, my fallen archangel, Raphael, guardian demon of the tree, and aid of humanity…- A: What?! You're an archangel?

3: C: Does it matter now? A: N-no. God: Aziraphale, principality of the Eastern gate… my softest angel. Your worries may layed to rest, for from this day forward, you shan't leave one another. God: Take my gift, he will be the guardian of humanity. The fruit of your love will be Rathma. A, and C: What?! God: Demon, will you take my gift, and his hand? C: … I'd like to hear it from him first! God: Very well, angel? A: Crowley… I will.

4: C: Then, C: I will too… God: You may kiss your spouse.

6: later, somewhere in London [wings flap, they are falling apart, from being untangled from their wings, finally falling back into cushions at the library] C: What- What just happened? A: I think… we just got married.

7: C: Angel. Did you really want this? C: I mean, them leaving us alone is nice and all, but… Isn't this going too fast for you? A: Crowley, dear. This was just a ceremony of spending our time together. I think we already did that for 6000 years. C: Did you not hear the part about Rathma?! A: Crowley, I will do no such thing until I know you can love me. C: Oh, so you mean to tell me, you also don't have free will. Beacuse angels can't have that.

8: C: You just heard Her. We are on our own side. C: You didn't say yes, just because you were forced, right? A: It's not as if we can't set our own pace. She didn't say any date. C: So you do lov- A: Ahah, would you like some wine? Let's get drunk! [alcohol appears]

9: C: …sure. I'd like to be summoned while I'm too drunk to care about the change of surroundings. If that happens again. [Bunch of alcohol later] C: My point is… Ducks! [A: again?] C: They have eggs. Real good parental defene… defenend… guardians! Put their heir in an egg! Kids fresh out the egg can run! See! Speak too! Snakes have eggs!

10: A: So you're suggesting we should also store them in an egg? C: I-I-I I mean, I don't suppose any of us want to carry them the way others do, right? A: Like humans? C: Imagine fish… A: Ugh… I'd rather not. A: Do we even carry them? How-… Do they?… How would we even get there? I don't think others have done it before.

11: A: How are angels born? C: Why ask me? You're the angel! A: You were an archangel! You should know more than I do! C: I-I don't know! C: God sorta just created them! In adult form. Or at least in a permanent state. C: …You don't think-. They will just show up anytime? A: She said they'll be born as the fruit of our love… A: wait. A: If we are good and evil. Then they will be good and evil. But humans are good and evil. What if they will be human? They grow so fast!!

12: C: I go for a longer nap and they might be old or dead! [Even more alcohol later…] A: I can't help it, I'm an 'Ngel! I'm made out of love. I can only love you. Even if you can't- [Drunk vision begins] C: No. Angel,

13: C: I'm sorry if you ever thought that. If you ever held back because of me. Of fear I'd hurt you. C: I can't ask you to believe me, I only earned distrust for my fall. But I have loved you since the moment we first met. Even if I hate to admit it. There's no other being I want to protect more than you. If not me, the nature of the animal I've been cursed with, can be believed.

14: A: Crowley… You just said that you love me! C: I-… I did? Aziraphale, barely can be heard: Dear, you're shaking! Are you alright? Oh don't fear, it is mutual, rea…

[Crowley's brain has stopped working] 15: [Reality check starts, drunk vision ends] C: OFC I LOVE YOU, ANGEL! PLEASE! IT'S BEEN 6000 YEARS! hic WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GO TOO FAST FOR YOU?!! HUMANS NEED LIKE ONE YEAR. Why do you think I slept so much?! "Devil don't sleep", Angel! I-… [reciting of the last words, showing they really were said]

[Time was spent, and now it's morning] 16: A: Mhm… C: Nothing's too fast for you now, is it? A: You're never going to let that go, will you? C: That's basic standard~ C: Angel. Will you marry me? A: But we're already married? C: I want it to be your decision. When you want it. When you're ready. A: Crowley~ You're the nicest being that I ever known, [C: That's a problem] A: Of course, I will!

17: [much later, in Raphael's church, with Raphael's painting showing him holding a snake. Others have been invited too.] C and A: I do. [A: Now that I think about it, it's kind of obvious]

18: It has been ages since they were on earth. [ominous humming] In their celestial star-shape. A star smelter, in the sky. A new star was believed to have occoured. And a new star was born. (A demigod).

19: And soon, delivered to Earth. Vanishing from the night sky. An Angel's egg. [later, at their cottage house] A: Crowley~ [Crowley is shown in snake form, holding a marker, indicating he drew on the egg the shades]

The end!

Thank you for reading!

#good omens #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #Anthony J Crowley #Aziraphale #comic #short comic #David Tennant #Michael Sheen #Crowley was Raphael archangel in this fic #idea that he kept the count of the wings even after the fall he just hides them #so does Aziraphale #but only sometimes #the angel's egg inspired me again #also diablo 4

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and-stir-the-stars · 1 year

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Making the very NOT self-indulgent decision to combine three things I enjoy (murderer crying child au, torturing Michael, and "characters meeting alternate universe versions of themselves/those they love") into one singular au :3

Or, well, one scene.

For plot reasons, adult Mikey gets somehow transported into an alternate universe where Evan survived the Bite and was later manipulated by William into murdering Mike and being Will's successor.

After being transported into this world, our Mike is so starstruck and guilt stricken upon seeing an older version of the brother he killed that he doesn't realize what Evan has become. Not until it's too late.

Evan ties Mike up in his room, and Mike is horrified to see not just what Evan has become but what he helped MAKE Evan into, etc etc.

In between apologizing profusely and telling Evan he doesn't have to do this, Mike asks-- "why ARE you doing this? There's another way, Evan."

At first, Evan is angry. "There IS no other way. I'm broken; I'm the kind of goddamn sicko they warn you to stay away from, right? I can't be normal ever again. Father is the only one who could ever understand what that's like, the only one who can help me."

Except, somewhere in Evan's rant, he starts crying. "Why couldn't you have just killed me, Mikey? It would have been better, *so much better* than this. Why couldn't you have just killed me?!"

Heart broken and guilt-torn, Michael reaches out to Evan. Ev lets it happen, burying his face in Mikey’s shoulder.

And then a sharp, stabbing pain blooms in Mike's stomach.

And Evan starts to laugh.

"Oh my god. You actually meant it when you said sorry, didn't you? You've gone soft.

"I made a good performance, didn't I?" Evan says, pulling away and looking at Mikey with a sickly sweet smile. "But I don't wish I was dead. The only benefit to being dead is feeling numb, and I've already got that. At least still living, I get to have a hobby, Mikey.

"The first time I killed you," Evan says. "I was just a scared little kid doing what his father told him. But now--" Evan twists the knife inside Mikey's gut-- "This time, i get to enjoy it."

#this is a million percent based on nachosforfree's au #but i shan't tag them in this bc this idea is literally so cringe and self-servicing #but go check out their au!!!!!#tw stabbing

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obsidiancreates · 2 years

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Turtles in Time Liveblog

Turtles in Time 1993 is my least favorite of the 90's movies, so let's hope this episode is better than it's film counterpart.

Oh more Giving Up On Karai stuff.

... Is he, still hung up on April? He hasn't really been acting like it these last few episodes, one of very few saving graces in them. Also LEO THAT'S YOUR SISTER STOP TRYING TO BE LIKE LUTHER AND ALLISON IN TUA ABOUT THIS GROSS

Awwww, Mikey saying he'll never have a crush is adorable.

Door in sky- woman? Woman with claw-like Chronoscepter from Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time? Oh it's the lady from the Monster Arc in Season 5

She looks like an adult. I don't like that she and Mikey have a thing. They better specify her age in this episode.

Awww really? Mikey is just The Cute One in the future? He should be The Surprising One, he's always pulling out surprises, be it parties or badassery

Very casual about being from the future, okay.

AWWW DONNIE IS SO EXCITED TO BE FAMOUS

Ew Mikey is flirting, I don't like this.

GIRL THEY'RE TEENS RIGHT NOW MAYBE BRINGING THIS GUY BACK WHEN THEY'RE SO YOUNG WAS A DUMB ACTUALLY

Oh god this guy looks so lame. God I miss The Kraang.

HIS VOICE SHEESH

Okay just right into a nonsense rant. Oh well, he was easy to get rid of.

THANK YOU DONNIE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON EITHER

Can I just say, I fucking hate that trope/idea that someday in the future humans will somehow become responsible for upholding the concept of time. I truly hate it.

YEAH GIRL THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T SEND THAT BITCH TO THE PAST

YEAH YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE LET THEM DEFEAT HIM WHAT- I HATE THIS EPISODE

You're right Donnie. This isn't good. Isn't a good episode.

It's not as bad as 1993... yet.

Oh god they're in the bad DND episode costumes again.

THEY WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT ORCS ARE ORCS WERE INVENTED BY JRR TOLKEIN GRRRRRRR

I can't even enjoy the boys fighting because of how much I hate the costumes.

Girl this isn't how Medieval Time- DONNIE WHY ARE YOU DOING AN ACCENT WHAT WAS THAT

Oh a He's Right Behind Me moment.

I feel. No tension. Oh, a loop. Okay. How many times do we have to see it though?

Didn't that stick Demon Guy in a loop too, though? Or was it a temporal clone?

Donnie it wasn't that awesome. Mikey don't be jealous.

Was Raph referencing 1993 with the Turtles on Horses is Weird part?

Yeah this is- I dislike everything about this.

Oh haha Raph fell off the horse. Maybe I just need to sleep and it'll start being fun again? It's like trying to watch Season 3 of Danny Phantom all over again... why are Nickelodeon Season 3 of Cartoons always so bad? Well, this one started really, really good, but. Once The Kraang left, it got bad.

Let's talk about something else. How about we talk about what I think human versions of the boys would be like, like a Normal Humans AU? Not even ninjas in this.

So basically I created this idea of them within the concept of "One of those tropes where the heroes are put into a Perfect World dream and have to help each other escape" and Donnie's would be them all as normal humans.

So they're all Japanese, Splinter is a single parent of 5 kids. He's got his biological daughter, Karai (named Miwa at birth but she's goin through a Rebellious Phase right now so she changed it) and his four adopted sons. He's a trained martial artist, but he never felt a need to train his children very heavily in it, because they live pretty peaceful lives. They know enough to defend themselves if needed, but they're not ninjas.

They're quadruplets, but not identical. Splinter finds it curious how they all have varying eye colors but are definitely all blood related. He adopted them sort of by accident, meaning to just foster them for a while when they were babies, but well, they just claimed his heart!

Leo is very into yoga and zen sort of exercise methods. He's a total nerd, of course, and goes to cosplay conventions pretty regularly. Mikey usually helps him make his homemade cosplays, with extra flair like lights and stuff added by Donnie. He's decently well-liked in school, except he tends to be a bit of a snitch and a hypocrite at times. He lets his hair grow out the most and wears mostly baggy shirts and plain jeans, very Chill Guy vibes (basically if Leo didn't have to worry about saving the world all of the time).

Raph is following in his older sister's footsteps and entering his Rebellious Phase. He's in therapy for anger issues, and uses sports as a release. He's on the school football team, still very short but stocky enough to be a good player. He's a little more balanced thanks to being able to actually go to therapy, so he lashes out less. It's well-known around school not to mess with The Hamato Siblings, because both the older sister (who's been known to carry knives around on her) and the short football brother have no issues Pummeling People Who Mess With Their Siblings. Raph tends to wear t-shirts and gym shorts, but sometimes he goes for an all-out Punk Badboy look. Only when he's really feeling it though, because it's a real hassle to put the look together in the morning. He keeps his hair pretty short, not buzzed though.

Donnie is willowy and lanky, though surprisingly not wimpy. Splinter makes sure all of his kids exercise regularly, so he's got lean muscle, but much less than any of his other siblings. He usually doesn't need glasses, but when he needs to make sure the smallest detail possible is perfect, he has a pair of them. Otherwise his sight is... passable. He's the kid everyone hopes to be paired with on science projects, because he'll inevitably end up doing the whole thing himself and be happy to just let you sit there and watch. He likes to tinker with electronics and chemistry, but he's already planning to go into some field of Biology as a career, possibly something medical. His gap tooth is just because, when that baby tooth fell out, there was no adult tooth to replace it. Genetics, what're you gonna do? It's actually what got him curious about biology, so he doesn't mind it. he prefers sweatshirts usually, or anything easy to toss on in the morning, because he has a bad habit of staying up way too late reading or tinkering. Yes, he is neurodivergent, of course. He usually lets his hair grow out a little, not on purpose, just because he forgets to make the barber's appointments.

Mikey is a gymnast and an artist! He's really good at gymnastics and wins competitions pretty often, and would be captain of the school team if he could just get his grades up a little more. He only just got diagnosed with ADHD and is still getting his medication and therapy regiment set up, but he feels good about how things will go once that's done. He's also the artist of the family, in that he draws the most. Raph is actually better at the technical aspects of art, but he doesn't really do much art beyond sometimes going out with Karai to do some graffiti. Mikey however is always doodling and drawing, their house is covered in old wall drawings form when he was small. He has a million fidget toys. He likes to layer up, usually a long sleeved shirt with a jacket, one of the kinds where the torso is denim but the sleeves and hood aren't, is the minimum he must have every day. He draws on all of his jeans (Donnie actually does too, but he writes down notes to himself and formulas and idea, while Mikey just doodles train-of-thought style). His hair is short and oddly poofy, and always gets in his eyes. How he does gymnastics so well in spite of that is a mystery to all.

Karai is very protective of her brothers, because she's had one too many people say something about them "not being her real brothers" and it makes her Furious. She's gotten into a real rebellious phase, because while Splinter is a good dad he can be a little too strict sometimes, and she got tired of it. She got piercings at a friend's house, started going the graphic liner, decided to get a big leather jacket and spiked gloves... she loves it, and loves feeling very powerful and badass. She actually isn't super happy about Raph following in her footsteps so early (she's a couple years older) but knows he won't just Stop Doing Stuff, so she usually offers to let him tag along with her trouble so he's supervised and not out spray painting places alone.

April met the Hamato Clan in freshman year of highschool, she was trying to find her class and they were all arguing in the hallway about where to go. Donnie broke away from the argument and helped her out. She knows he has a crush on her, but he's a lot less creepy about it in this AU, it's mainly just he blushes around her a lot and gets self-conscious when they're along together. But she doesn't want to make things weird by telling him no, or yes, she's not sure, so she pretends not to notice. The brothers basically adopted her as another sister, which Karai also eventually came around to. She's into things like astrology and tarot cards, but on the downlow, she's a little embarrassed about it.

Casey was friend with Raph first, both of them trying out for the hockey team at the same time. Raph didn't end up making the cut, but they stayed friends. Eventually Casey and Donnie realized they both like tinkering and making little gadgets and they became friends, and then Casey was talking about his graffiti art and Mikey joined in and they became friends, and Leo warmed up to him when Raph asked Leo to take over a video game fight for a bit while he went and got some snacks. He thinks Karai is really cool, and Karai trusts him to take care of Raph or the others if Casey convinces them to do some mischief with him.

Splinter tries his best to be a good dad. It can be hard, and he makes lots of mistakes, but he tries. He was raised in a very Traditional household, but all of his children are very much the opposite of that, and he struggles with breaking away from how he was brought up to do things for the sake of not stifling his children. Still, he seeks counseling so he can do his best, especially once Mikey was diagnosed (Donnie hasn't been diagnosed yet but Splinter has his suspicions) as neurodivergent. He's still strict, usually, but has been known to soften up sometimes and allow a bit more excitement into their lives and home.

So there. That's that AU. I got so bored of the episode I jotted down this AU instead, and I'll put it in it's own post too sometime later.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2012 #sid blogs live

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atherix · 2 years

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Very easily actually! I have a soft spot for your silly fluffy and angsty ideas :D

And thank you for the go ahead, i shall hug him so hard because we all know he needs it <33 ...characters hurting is also the way i show them love, so.... this is wonderful 🥲 still painful as hell, but wonderful. You know what, THERE'S A HAPPY ENDING, SO ITS OK RIGHT? ....Right? And we love a V to △ poly ship <33

Oh god, atherix you're making me FEEL things. AND ITS NOT EVEN WRITTEN. As in im already sitting at my desk with emotional damage, trying not to be loud because my family will be concerned :D

And just- Mumbo loosing almost everything over the course of a few days... Grian thinking he's missed his chance, because Scars there, and mumbo is HAPPY.... Scar thinking that mumbo already has a family, and now that grian is here, (even if only for Jrum and Grum) he's just holding mumbo back... AUGH. And the way history repeats itself in different ways... same mistakes made over and over again... except this time there's hope, even if they can't see it...

By the way, that last paragraph about the kids? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME- The wanting for something you've never had... The wishing for what could have been... The regret and disappointment and HURT- and then looking back and realizing you've just made things 100x worse, and no one's doing anything to fix it- so what are you going to do? BAM parent trap again, but this time to fix everything you broke... and now with twice the help >:D

And whats Scar and Tubbo's story i wonder? 🤔 so many possibilities... 👀

-🍂autumn anon🍂

jgfdjkgjkfdgfjkd <3 thank you for putting up with me 🍂Autumn Anon🍂 <3

He is gonna need it so much <3 Haha I mean what better way to show your love than to put them through the absolute worst time and make that happy ending all the sweeter <3 LOOK. LOOK I have yet to be able to bring myself to write a bad ending fic <3 ...... Yet..... BUT YEAH- absolutely <3<3

I am very good at throwing out ideas and watching people squirm HEHEHE. Emotional damage is my coffee. It gets me up in the morning <3

The MISUNDERSTANDINGS the BAD COMMUNICATION the HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.... but this time will be different bc the kids realize what they've done and Mumbo and Grian talk and Mumbo won't just let Scar leave like he let Grian leave this man will shine his spine up just long enough to talk this shit out <3 They're gonna fix this as best a wet cat man, an elf with low self esteem and an emotionally constipated birdman can-

BECAUSE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE THAT'S WHY <3 Yesss the kids just being like "oh we fucked up. We fucked up, brother. We gotta fix this-" even tho it is definitely NOT the children's responsibility to fix the adults' issues and everything is happening because these adults are terrible at communicating and LET it happen but ya know, kids will be kids and blame themselves anyway-

Hehehehe :3 I will. Tuck that close to my chest and Hold It.

#Ask #Mumscarian Parent Trap AU #I cannot believe I am actually using this tag #hermitshipping #I WILL GET TO MY MIDNIGHT ASKS EVENTUALLY JKFSLKS

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