#like yeah im a cis guy and i think that fits

[chongoblog]

my gender identity is “cis if only because i cant be assed to identify otherwise tbh”

#this is like 50% a joke i think #thats why i put my pronouns down as he/they #like yeah im a cis guy and i think that fits #but also like gender aint real and if someone used they/them on me I’d be pretty chill #hell I doubt I’d mind literally any pronouns id just wonder what brought someone to use something like she/her #anyway just thoughts #happy pride #also made this kinda vague in case its relatable

[mothslimes]

said it before i say it again. maybe it's less internalized misogyny and more "girls who look and act like this literally bullied me from kindergarten to 12th grade and beyond" so no i would rather not talk to girls who treat female beauty standards as the holy law

#mik talks #if you think criticizing female beauty standards and those who impose them on others = criticizing all women then you might be the sexist #like im so fucking tired of feminism being all about the poor stereotypically beautiful women wearing pink skirts who are soo forced into i #hey what about the girls on the playground who were their perpetual fucking victims in their pursuit of gaining mild power #those who coulkd never even dream of fitting the mold because they werent white or straight or skinny or cis or whatever the fuck #like even the fucking barbie movie is about some beauty standard white blond skinny feminine woman being sad about sexism #this is what many terfs dont understand lul. for some feminity is a cage they dont even fit into #they have no fucking safe area of just performing their societal role #if i see one more 'fixed' 'pick me' comic where they make the author kiss the girl thats based on their bullies i will kill something #yeah blablabla the plastics in mean girls are actually victims yaaalll.... its so sad theyre the real victims...... #when will yall accept that stereotypically beautiful (especially white) women still hold power. and are often bullies. #my mom is being harassed at her workspace by her exclusively female colleagues but u tell me again how female spaces are so wholesome #and oh tell me more about the perfect female commune and the matriarchy. god you guys make me sick #oh you felt forced into performing feminity and your friendships seemed a little fake? i was called slurs in 6th grade #they stole my stuff. destroyed my things. hit me. cyberbullied me. but oh you had it so bad #to be clear this is not to say these women hold the same power as men but yeah lets not infantilize girls who CHOSE to put others down #nerdy girls who make fun of popular girls being shallow were never the problem :skull: but you all called them misogynists for being pissed #for being bullied....and wanting to feel some mild sense of superiority in their lower social role

[mariii1]

( ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(˘ ε˘ʃƪ) What's your sexuality (like)? 18+ (´ε｀ )♡

..........sooo i need to get out of the pattern of making time based promises, I've lied every damn time 😭😭 We'll see when the next pac will come out since im probably gonna do a lot more choices. Let me know if this resonated!

1. There might be something taboo you're holding back. You might not have delved a lot into your sexuality which isn't inherently bad but there might be a specific part you feel ashamed about. For some you this is about a fetish or your orientation for others its just shame that comes from purity culture/r@pe culture. To get rid of this is different for most, for a lot of you time and gaining more experience in life in general will help you feel more comfotable and for others you may need to take a more active role in getting rid of your conditioning. Y'all might be like me where your into our want to get into fetishgear like latex and maybe want to learn bondage but you may feel isolated in who to talk to and where to go. Getting past these anxious thoughts and actually doing your research is what's gonna help you, you might be procrastinating on this because of your own internal conflict.

2. Lord have mercy...You DO NOT want a romantic relationship or a family 😭😭 its coming through stroonnggly. I think some of y'all could be aro and don't know it. People might've told you you're cold hearted or weird for not wanting to date. For some this is toxic because you don't communicate that you don't want romance to people, which ya needa start if you don't. Yeah some of you in this group might have problems being honest either with yourself or other people. There may be pressure to fit in when there's no real harm if you don't, in this case at least. A lot of you don't believe in traditional relationships or just have no desire for romance. A lot of you are planning to be childless when you're older and if you're thinking about getting sterilized, it might be something to start thinking about seriously.

3. Oooohhh someone KNOWS fr what they want. You have this huge boundary and expectations of what you want and this couod for anything: hooking up, sex with a partner, casual dating, etc. Because of this though you might not have been in a relationship for a very long time. You're very headstrong about this and want a fair and equal relationship. I'm specifically getting a lot of femmes in this pile who are fed up with cis men. I don't have any other comments for you, you seem set in this mindset and if its working for you, great! 👍🏽

4. Me 😜 JK tbh i might be your type for some of y'all the same way I think Che Guevara is finee😩 I'm also getting hopeless romantic from this pile but ive never seen that stereotype as something positive and I feel like in this case you guys pine after people a lot but don't try to make any moves. I feel like you could have multiple crushes currently ir multiple ppl u got ur eye on but you haven't even said hi or anything to them yet. As a fellow introvert and someone who's just starting to try to make friends I get it, but it's time to get out of this mindset and just make the first move even if ppl don't like you or they don't turn out as great as you thought.

Rainbow divider @enchanthings

#pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #queer tarot #tarot reading #pac #love tarot reading #pride

[genderkoolaid]

I'm an AFAB transfem and I feel so strongly that transfem and transmasc aren't tied to AGAB but gosh it's like the whole world disagrees. I can't be with cis people because they just see me as cis, I can't be with trans people because they see me as either a horrible person appropriating trans womanhood or a poor sad transmasc in denial. I can't be with nonbinary people half the time, as they say, "why can't you just be trans AND fem?" no, I'm transfem. I hope more ppl realise I fucking exist

!! yeah!!

it's hard explaining it like no im not detransitioning and i am a femboy but it's not the same as just being a feminine trans guy. i think people hear AFAB transfem and think like. generic cis woman who wants to feel special instead of a trans person with a complex relationship to womanhood and femininity that is inherently trans and can't be understood any other way. & same goes for AMAB transmascs ofc! these are not experiences that can be reduced down to whatever explanation is easier for other people to understand. for me it puts me in the weird position of feeling like I don't really fit into either transmasc or transfem community even though both terms fit me and I have experiences that make me relate to both groups. But once again the multigender angst of "being both means i can't be either" returns lol

#''nooooo u can't be transfem if a doctor called you female years ago'' okay im gonna go shop for breast forms 👍 die mad if u wanna #m. #ask box

[polyamorouspunk]

Fully agree with you on the trans thing. It’s something I struggled with for a LONG time that I didnt *want* to be fully 100% trans. Like I fit in with trans people, I was transmasc, but I never felt *trans*. If that makes any sense??

People used to tell me all the time that I had to be trans if I checked xyz boxes. And I hated it. Now, years later, I’ve made it to a point that I just *am*. And it took me SO LONG to realize that was even an option. To just be myself without putting a label on it. I dont need to be fully cis or fully trans. Im just a little bit of everything and fully me.

It still confuses my queer friends. That I just *do not* care and dont put any importance on it. So its nice to see someone else with that opinion. Thank you

Yes!

Listen like I do not care if people reblog my posts and disagree with me. Like that’s you’re right as an individual. But what I don’t like is when I make a post talking about my identity and someone “corrects” me on it.

The problem with the push to be super inclusive, sometimes, is that people stop making it about who *wants* to be a part and who doesn’t.

I know people who are gay men who have 0 interest in being part of the LGBTQ+ community. Gay men who are like I’m not queer I’m not part of the community I’m just gay but I’m not identifying with the community in any way.

I know people who have described their “gender” to me almost verbatim the way that trans people have described to me their gender and have told me they do not consider themselves trans in any way, and it kind of sucks because I’m like… I know that if I were someone else they might put that label on that person even if that person doesn’t want it?

I’ve had people ON THIS BLOG send me asks telling me I am not trans and other people send me asks saying I’m not cis. Like lmao it’s so fucking funny pick one you guys. I gotta be one or the other- SIKE no I don’t. I’ve had people dump me over saying “I’m both cis and trans” which in hindsight seems kinda ableist because that was actually when I started IDing as plural so like. The idea you can’t be both is like. You know there are people with different experiences than you right. Like some common enough to be in textbooks. Not like some “out there” concepts like if you can grasp the concept of DID you can understand how perhaps to some degree a person can be different than their literal AGAB without being trans. Just for one example.

Sometimes I also fail to realize this but. When you reblog someone’s post, or comment on it, or send them an ask, etc… you are coming into THEIR space. I mean it very much went through my mind to be like “just ignore it” but I was like someone is coming onto MY post where I try and validate MY gender experiences and telling me people like ME are quite literally exactly what I’m talking about where I’m like actually I’m valid if I’m a little trans and outright saying “YOU AREN’T A LITTLE TRANS UWU” like. Hi it’s you you’re the problem you’re the people I’m validating myself to. Like I don’t care how politely and nicely you try and dress it up with inclusive language do not put me into a box I do not want to be put in because you think “that I have to be trans because I check xyz boxes” yeah literally. I know fully cis people who check “xyz boxes” and I ain’t out here telling them that actually they’re trans and valid for it. Like bro if you tell me you’re cis who am I to disagree.

In the near future you’ll never hear the words “I’m transgender” come out of my mouth directly. I might post it on here or say irl that I “dabble in transgenderism” but I do not outright say irl in person that I am transgender not because I’m “dealing with internalized transphobia” and “not ready to fully accept myself to be transgender in the real world instead of just offline” like no I just don’t ID as “transgender” period. Or you know what maybe I am but also who are you to say that’s what I am? How are you helping exactly? How is acting like I can’t “really accept myself for who I truly am” helping me any? Idk. Just because you have good intentions doesn’t make it better than the people who have bad intentions. Both are issues. Both are problematic.

Learn to go “actually it’s not my fucking business if someone is trans or cis or neither” and “they can call themselves whatever they want” and that includes NOT wanting to be included.

#bro like even Nimona says in the movie ‘I’m not a girl I’m just Nimona’ #like I’m not a transgender person I’m just me #punk gets mail #personal

[cartoonrival]

kakashi and ummmm spins wheel akane from r1/2

kakashi

i dont really talk about kakashi and theres not really a reason for that beyond i dont super have anything intelligent to say about him but i do really love him ToT i dont think he works BETTER as part of a dynamic bc that implies i dont care for him much on his own but i think his character shines BEST as part of a dynamic... in pt 1 he was one of the characters who most most emphasized how young the team 7 kids were and it makes me SICK it makes me sick seeing how much he loves them, the way he talks to them and about them like theyre really children and he cares about them so much and has loved watching them grow up and helping them train, i looove how the chidori becomes one of sasuke's signatures after kakashi taught it to him and how excited naruto gets about getting to train with kakashi again and how kakashi was disappointed at the start of shippuden that naruto and sakura werent as easily amazed by him anymore and he had them try and steal the bells from him again as a little welcome back exercise .... and when he watched the three of them defeat kaguya together he was thinking how much he loved them .... BWAAAAAAAA

and and. i think his relationship with guy honestly balances his relationship with the kids rly well because we get to see him as a protective figure with them but with guy he's talking to someone whos his age and on his level and who he's known for like 2 decades, obviously not to say he never lets loose or relaxes or is irresponsible with the kids but the way he is with guy and the childish competitiveness of their rivalry (which he acts like he's annoyed by but this is obviously not true) is just idk. i like seeing that other facet of him. i think the race through konoha that ended w guy giving him a bouquet was an anime original scene but idc it was so cute and i think it was lee and neji who said smth about them finally being able to have fun and let off steam or w/e. augh. yeah.

ALSO esp in the anime i love how noticeably his tone of voice shifts when he's talking to someone ranked above him when he's usually so nonchalant and casual its something something about how he used to be part of the black ops. idk idk i rly love him and i love how he has pretty distinct facets of himself that come out depending on who he's interacting with it makes him feel very real. he's laid back but on edge and kind and blunt. ill be honest though i dont care about the stuff w obito and rin im sick of that dead girl and that man whos still obsessed with her!!!! but its ok because i love you kakashi.

akane

SHES EVERYTHING .TO ME. as with all of r/2 i think her struggles with bisexuality (ambiguous) couldve been carried further and her martial arts abilities kind of fell off towards the end which SUCKSSSS AND MAKES ME SO MAAAAD but anyways. she gets a lot of hate for being a jerk BUT LIKE. YEAH? she's scared and angry all the time and doesn't know who she is and is afraid of who she is and everyone's telling her she's living wrong so she's forcing herself into a box where she doesn't fit because she's afraid of nonconformity and she takes that fear out on the person closest to her and the one person who might actually understand what she feels. because it is so scary to admit that you are not what you are supposed to be and intimacy and honesty are so much scarier than bullying someone who'll do it right back. she's been engaged at 16 years old and burdened with the expectation that she'll marry ranma and carry on the legacy of her father's beloved dojo, and now she's been thrown in to this situation where she is forced to confront her wayward sexuality head on and directly in front of her entire family.

will say though possibly unpopular opinion. i dont like transmasc akane reads .. i think shes cis. she has a tomboy thing going on (meaning characters (mostly ranma) make fun of her for being boyish and violent and she has an arc about cutting her hair and no longer growing it out as assurance of her own femininity even though she really prefers it short) but i dont think taking "this female character has some issues with not being seen as feminine enough because of her behavior/struggles with not tying her worth to how feminine she is" should be immediately taken as "this character is not a girl" because i think the potential for her gender nonconformity (esp in relation to her bisexuality) is just as valuable a theme, especially considering r/2 already has very potent transfem (ranma) and transmasc (ukyo) stories. idk "this character has some not traditionally feminine tendencies -> cannot be a girl" doesnt sit right with me. in any series other than r/2 it wouldn't bother me because people can take little tidbits of possible transgenderism as they'd like, but since the trans themes are already so potent in r/2 i tend to lean towards more realistic interpretations of the characters and i dont feel like "akane doesnt fit into traditional femininity and is therefore not [fully] a girl" is reaaally a win. expectations and gender roles are a huge theme in r/2 and i think its valuable seeing how they impact a cis girl as it is how they impact trans people in terms of determining what even MAKES someone a girl or a boy. is it what you wear? what you do? how you talk? these are genuine questions that r/2 asks and i feeeeel that transmasc reads of akane kind of respond to these questions in a really surface level way. this is the reason for the slash over the everyone else is wrong box. because not everybody thinks this and i know some reliable akaneheads (hi jordan)

#asks157 #r/2 #nrto #WHEW

[souryogurt64]

sorry to continue this but one problems i have with the mcr fandom like you said they project heavily on gerard and they end up treating mcr as this super revolutionary anti capitalist leftist rock band who the other bands are just mean to ‘cause they aren’t like other bands

i literally seen sooooo many posts about mcr only being able to do this certain stuff and only they can only pull it off unlike other bands

i think thats part of gerards whole "chosen one" thing but also like people create this fake narrative about how gerard in 2005 was smearing on dollar store eyeshadow in 30 seconds as a punk statement about hating capitalism.

like no, back then he was wearing mac and urban decay and sometimes being professionally styled-- obviously he was still involved in creating his looks and sometimes did their own makeup but it definitely did not take 30 seconds of dollar store eyeshadow to look the way they did on the red carpet

i think its interesting now because hes wearing custom tailored womens clothing with the help of a designer to create his vision. and you have people saying its not revolutionary and is performative because he just "slapped on a cheerleading costume from the thrift store and looks like shit," when in actuality this was vintage and tailored to fit his body, people are just uncomfortable about seeing someone whos not a cis woman in womens clothing and think it doesnt look right.

i feel like its connected to how people say young and young-ish guys who arent good at eyeliner on their first try or wear costume jewelry must be faking and are doing it to be predatory because they "look like shit" and "look ugly" instead of understanding that makeup and fashion and hair are skills that "girls" are expected to put massive amounts of time into mastering starting from a very young age, whereas "guys" are barred from that, often at minimum until theyre old enough to have their own income to purchase these things or move out and have a safe space to express themselves

theres a post that goes around talking about how boys on tiktok with their shitty eyeliner will never be fever era ryan and its like. Yeah. boys on tiktok are not a huge celebrity with a female dance troupe and designers that do elaborate looks on him

and it makes me wonder if in 10 years people are going to say gerard slapped on a dress he found at the thrift store for $3 as a punk anticapitalist statement and just happened to look amazing instead of being tailored to his body by a celebrity fashion designer that did costumes for taylor swift haha

not sure what my exact thesis is here but im sure you get the gist

[sentientgopro]

Hey y'all, not exactly active on here, especially when talking about myself, but I really need to get some shit off my chest right now. I had a couple realisations yesterday that culminated in some shit I never thought I would be saying or thinking.

I never thought I could be anything but straight. I liked women, so I mustve been straight. Im definately an advocate for everyone giving their gender true consideration, even when most will come out the other side cis, and confidently so, as did I.

Then I realised I didn't like women in the way most straight guys do. Afer clearing up some prior misconceptions about Aromanticism and asexuality, I realised those two labels fit me perfectly. But sometimes I wonder why I still feel a certain way about girls. There's just something about the way they look that's appealing to me, even if I dont find girls attractive...

Oh shit. That wasn't attraction. That was envy.

So that train of thought kind of went from 0 to 10 real fucking fast. This realisation brought to my attention feelings that Ive had for a good while, but have passed off as r/196 induced brainrot. Besides, and this is the biggest thing that stopped me realising this earlier, I dont feel that who I am now is wrong. I look in the mirror, and I see myself. But I've only recently kinda grasped the concept that being trans isn't all about dysphoria, having dysphoria is not always the way to tell. Although I dont think being a man is wrong, fucking hell, being a girl would be much better. And it feels so fucking weird actually typing that.

But what I'm saying is, atleast for the time being, I could manage to just not do anything. Which is for the better seeing as my parents would start screaming at me for saying anything remotely in the direction of being an ally. And I live on TERF Island. Transitioning would be an absolute pain in the ass, especially right now, so it kinda feels like why bother when the way I am doesnt really feel wrong. Transitioning could be quite dangerous and have big risks, it kinda just feels like I dont need that shit in my life, Im already running on fumes and a list of people I need to outlive. I usually hold a mindset of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but this usually applies to binary things, like if my team wins using the same strat a few times in a row in CS, "Do it again, ain't broke, don't fix", but this is not nearly as binary as that, this isn't a win/loss.

Something that is both comforting and a little concerning is that no matter what, there is atleast a 2 year hold on this. I should be able to go to uni after that and start living my own life, but as of right now, doing something like transitioning is NOT an option. Ive got a 2 year long planning phase and Ive kinda just been taking stock tbh. I don't think "that" period of my life hit too hard, Im still skinny (Yeah, ik skinny =/= feminine but its better than being buff imo) kinda fuckin tall, if my growth follows the same as my brother did which it is so far Im gonna be like 6'3 by the end of that 2 years (6'1 now) so thats probably gonna be more of a mild annoyance than a genuine problem. My voice varies ALOT, I can have a pretty damn low voice, and a bit of a higher pitch, it naturally varies, I normally find I talk in a higher pitch when I'm happier and lower when Im trying to appear more... normal? idk, theres probably somrthing to think about in that.

Honestly idk, theres no real end point to this, I just wanted to talk about this somewhere. As much as I never saw myself being in this position, I use r/196, play ULTRAKILL, and Study Computer Science and want to continue it as a career path, cmon, it was only ever a matter of time, this was inevitable.

#196 #personal logs

[mogai-sunflowers]

so felt w the transmasc dysphoria thing. I don’t know how to quite describe it?? but yeah it definitely makes me slightly uncomfortable, for some weird reason or other. which is funny since I’ve used it b4 😭 but uh!! transboyyy :33 n boybutch r so comfy lesboy too. if I had to pick a trans- term persay tho it’d probably be transtidal honestly? it’s still not a perfect fit but I like it enough c:

I FORGOT ABOUT TRANSTIDAL, THAT AND TRANSFLORAL ARE PEAK ME.

I guess it's because i've never really loved the word "masculine" or "masc" for myself. i've experienced so much toxic masculinity in my life that even though i have so much love and respect for healthy masculinity and the diversity of masculinity, and i don't in any way believe that masculinity itself is bad, i still just feel like whenever i refer to myself as masculine, i feel like i have to perform toxic masculinity. when i think of the word masc for myself, it feels like i'm calling myself like just any cis guy, but im not- my "masculinity" is inherently colored by my experience as a butch and femme GIRL and transmasc just doesn't feel right for that. but transfloral and transtidal are so amazing they feel great asdfasdf

#🌌written in the stars ; asks🌌

[actualbird]

First of all! Hello, Hello!!! Hope you're doing well!

Regarding your - Artem has the oldest daughter vibes - post. HE'S TRANS YOUR HONOUR!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! 😂❤️

But in all seriousness, I gave it some thought and out of all of them, Artem being trans would make the most sense? Just the way he is as a person? You know? *Vaguely gestures with my hands*. One thing that stood out to me was how touched starved and touch averse he seemed? I know it's contradictory but as much as I remember, he was always hesitant to touch Rosa and would be an absolute mess when touched by her?

So what if, it's because he doesn't want to make others uncomfortable with his touch, especially if it's a woman? (And especially if he likes that woman). Because he was made uncomfortable by others, in this case mostly men, when he was younger? I've noticed that most men are far more likely to just casually touch women? Even if the touch isn't sexual/romantic in nature? Like a brush of a hand here, holding a woman's waist while you're passing her in a tight space? Like, you wouldn't do that to a man, so... Artem is just very aware? Like, aware too much, to a point where he can never relax among others?

I might be projecting too much! So please ignore this if you don't agree! It's just something I noticed! Me and my trans friend, we talked about something similar recently - noticed that he would be a bit hesitant to be more physically affectionate with me and we had a long conversation about it!

And... I haven't touched the game in about half a year! 😅 I still love the game! I just "play" it vicariously through you! 😂 So there might have been more things revealed about Artem I'm not aware of!

Please take care! ❤️

- The Hibiscus anon! 🌺 I'M NOT DEAD! 😂

irt despite being a man, artem is eldest daughter all girls catholic school student vibes

oh my gosh, HIBISCUS!! HI HI :DDD!! it's awesome to hear from u again and i hope ur doing well!!!

while i am in no way an artem expert (thats sam) and am pretty behind on his cards, i still shake ur hand so much cuz UR SO RIGHT.

like, listen. at this point ive got a schrondinger's headcanon where certain members of the nxx team or the ENTIRE team is simultaneously not trans or definitely trans/experiencing gender in a non-cis way. yes they are. all the time. but only when it sparks joy in me. also all the time. do u understand, i understand. still, i deffo understand and adore why artem also gives of trans vibes.

like, so much of artem's extreme carefulness with matters of the heart or even just matters of relating to other people personally, the fact that he goes about this in a meticulous and often overthinking manner because he hasnt done it/gotten the chance to experience it much before is something that resonates a lot with a bunch of queer identities. the fact that he holds a lot of himself and his personality/interests close and not many people know him on a personal level, that also resonates with queer experiences. the fact that certain things that are "obvious" to other people are things that are not as obvious to him, also queer (and also also something i like to interpret as a neurodivergent trait, but thats a whole other ask response). hell, even the notion that artem is doing things "later" than is usually expected (like romance).

all of these things (which i guess can be mushed into the over-arching statement of "over-thinking because we didnt experience the world on the usual timeline many other people experience and thus we have to be extra careful to avoid failure") fit well with a BUNCH of queer experiences, methinks

(source: me. cuz im queer and i like artem)

additionally, i got reminded of this awesome response mariuscomehome wrote about artem viewed from a lesbian lens. i DEFINITELY recommend u read it!!!

//smacks artem like a car im selling. THIS GUY CAN FIT SO MUCH QUEERNESS INTO HIM!!!!!

i think i went off on a tangent here but yeah. ur so right. artem trans vibes too, whether it be for fitting theme/characterization reasons or just cuz headcanons are fun as hell anyway :'D

#i shld not have written this response at 6am cuz i was blearily blinking like 'oh my god i can cite queer theory sources--' and i had to #stop myself. 6am is not the time to be doing anything with any kind of theory sources. zak BEHAVE #hibiscus!anon #asks #and thus continues the saga of ppl 'playing' tot primarily thru my blog jhVKJSHDFS BY FAR THE FUNNIEST WAY TO EXPERIENCE THIS GAME METHINKS

[skunkpupz]

Gimme that in-depth analysis baybey I am here for it ‼‼ /srs

shakes violently and turns my head around 180 degrees

okay so so so obviously we have mk hes our protagonist !!! hes very stereotypical happy go lucky guy gets the fate of the world put on his shoulders core like he literally was just a noodle delivery boy and now hes the successor of the literal fucking monkey king how crazy is that . he isnt the most confident (which gets called out by the monkey king almost instantly) but he is very strong and often fights for his friends like those are his fucking lifeline !!!! he even risked his life just to comfort his friend after an emotional breakdowna nd honestly he is so fucking real for that . he forces himself to get over his fears especially when his life is at stake , he practically gave himself arachnophobia exposure therapy while he was fighting the spider queen jsut to ensure everyone elses safety , while he does seek out people to mentor and train him and his skills he often refuses to ask for help with his own problems , mostly inflating his own ego and playing dumb to make up for his own insecurities and shortcomings because he is so silly like that !

he allows himself to be manipulated because hes mostly a 'theres good in everyone' truther , which to be fair he was correct but he got himself hurt a lot trying to prove it , trying to befriend his enemies often meant he would go against his friends and harm his already existing relationships just trying to show them that everyone was able to be changed only to be hurt repeatedly . he expresses guilt for that among other things in later seasons , which eventually gets turned against him after a curse is released upon him and his friends because he is so fucking silly like that !!! but yeah theres like a whole thing where the monkey king is absent for a while and he meets the lady bone demon which only makes him more and more insecure , which she obviously uses against him because she is so girlboss ! his guilt and frustration for the monkey kings disappearance only manifests as more self doubt and he distances himself from his friends in an attempt to protect them !!1

he gets so fed up with himself at one point that he attempts to tell the monkey king he is not fit to be his successor and when he was reassured he insisted that finding the golden staff and becoming his successor was the source of most if not all of his problems because he is just a kid he is a baby ! he doesnt understand what else the issue could possibly be if not himself ! he feels obligated to say he cant possibly be a hero because his friends are in danger and he thinks its his fault so surely he must be unworthy of the staff if not just as bad as the villains themselves !

also hes trans ! maybe canon ? the producers havent decided ! but he is not cis !

im gonna reblog this with other characters because if this gets too long i will feel Guilt

[girltober]

Girlfit! Gamer socks/armthings and a sundress might not go well together on paper, but I like this fit a lot 🩷 girls just have so many more customisation options to pick from. And you know what they say, you gotta Get Railed in a Sundress 😜

---

So! Girl Month is two thirds over... whats the state of affairs?

Its been a little while since I last posted anything substantive bc well... girltime has been normalised. In the first week I was very strict about wearing only "proper" girly clothes, not even using my normal dressing gown! But as time passed I've allowed myself to wear more unisex clothing - for better or worse. In general Girl month has become less... exciting and wild and more a mundane part of life. I go out in girlmode and don't think twice about it.

I've been on E nearly 2 weeks now with no effect, which I guess I expected but its a little disappointing. My nips don't feel any more sensitive than usual which is lame.

Sidequest 2 and 3 have not been completed, but I'm planning to complete 3 tomorrow which I'm looking forward to (shes soo hot). And I forsee myself completing 2 also bc like... cmon, how hard can it be?

Girl month has also been a little bit of a slut month for me- which has honestly been kind of the best part lmao. I mean my bodycount is still 1, but I've really enjoyed wearing revealing clothes, going out with my girltreat in, and thinking a lot about being a... well a free use fucktoy 😳.

Maybe I'll make another post trying to delve into the psychology of it, but I guess long story short... horny guys are gross, but horny girls are hot. That might only be true in my own lesbian*(?) head but I feel like its not just me who feels that way. Idk theres a lot to unpack there. Being a girl made me feel more confident being a pervert is what I'm saying, for better or worse.

(*For this month(?))

But to the main event: gender.

I started this month with the view that i was doing this for shits and giggles and nipple-orgasms.

I was planning to walk out of this having unlocked Cis+, as a BoyChad like Finnster who can walk through the Valley of Girl and not flinch at the feminine shadows cast over me.

But...

Rrrrrgh.

*deep sigh*

I guess... I'm probably not cis.

Yeah yeah I know the guy who volunteered to dress as a girl for a month for no reason is actually trans big surprise, someone call the pope, who could have seen this coming yada yada.

I will say that I'm not sure that I'm a girl either though.

I enjoy dressing up femme, and I get a little hit of dopamine whenever someone calls me Charlotte or uses she/her pronouns, but...

(Wait typing that sentence in real time just made me realise that i might just be a girl after all uuuh nvm continuing with my original point)

...I don't necessarily... feel like a girl? Like I mostly forget I'm a girl and then occasionally I think "oh yeah I'm supposed to be a girl rn. Or maybe... I just AM a girl for this month? Oh nice I'm a girl I guess sweet" and then carry on with my usual activities.

Although even that sounds pretty trans hmm.

(Good thing I successfully turned off Pop-ups or this post would be unreadable with the amount of Transgender XP I've gained lmao)

Does anyone remember that one comic? Its like the car driving "PENIS" face one except the thought is "im a girl". This is nonsense to non-tumblrinas I'm so sorry, if anyone finds the comic I'm thinking of please send it to me.

Anyway, i may not be a trans girl, maybe I'm nonbinary or maybe genderfluid or bigender or something else... but M** left Plato's cave when he became me/Charlotte, and I/she can't imagine going back in there and forgetting. Wearing a dress is just too much fun to quit lmao.

I definitely think i just don't have a very strong sense of gender in general- I've boymoded for family events and doctors appointments and felt no discomfort or dysphoria- but being a girl recreationally is just more fun!

I might do Boyweek in early november to try to solidify my gender opinions, but for now... my gender is almost certainly queer and i can't wait to find out what I become ^^.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, thank you all my friends for being chill about this and thank you M & L for supplying me with E and thank you Y for being the madlad who took E for lols in the first place and MASSIVE thank you to the one who took me opshopping and opened my mind to polyamory and made this whole experience... just so much more comfortable and fun.

Oh and thanks to the random internet people who followed along too- Its been really cool to see this break containment in little ways!

Uuuh anyway this might feel like a very final retrospective post but I still have a couple of girlweeks left in girlmonth so I'll keep y'all posted with my future girlfits and antics!

Love y'all! ❤️🩷💜

#girl month #girltober #transgender #genderqueer #girl #gender #girlblogging #girl month nsft #girl drugs #hey guys did you know that in terms of male human and female pok-*sniper takes me out* #girl fit #i censored my boyname not bc I have strong feelings against it but just for internet privacy reasons lmao #yes i picked the vaporeon gif for that reason lmao

[girlyaois]

💌, ❤️, and 💭 for your spn S/I!!

💌 - any major changes in your selfship lore over time? if so, compare how it used to be with how it's now.

oh man! yeah, theres been some big changes over the years.. she sort of evolved alongside me, and its lore changed to fit what i needed at the time(s). i believe the concept of being part demon part angel was always a thing, but i developed what that means for him over time, how that works, etc. at first he was essentially just some lame transmasc kid (kid in the way a 20 yo is a kid) with a father who was king of hell and a boyfriend who was an archangel. i didnt even have the castiel stuff developed yet... now, the lore and relationships get a bit complex because ive played around with so many ideas. she's now essentially castiel's twin/sibling but in the complex unlike humanity way that angels would experience siblinghood? it chose to fall, leaving cas behind, but he always watched over her during her time as a human. most of it at least. after his 2nd fall, becoming a demon, and "meeting" castiel (again), they don't recognize each other. it takes a bit and some weird supernatural plotline about souls and angel grace for that. + now i have a bunch of au's where i ship myself with different characters, 4 fun. (fun fact, i kept accidentally imagining crowley calling me his daughter, and it kind of aided in me realizing i was genderfluid/bigender & not just a trans guy. the s/i's gender identity changed to match as well (: )

❤️ - any favourite reoccurring scenario?

a bit embarassing but the #1 reoccurring scenario is just several different ways of me being comforted by my familial f/o's. mostly crowley, sometimes cas or the winchesters, if i were braver id think about rowena. my evil grandma. a scene that plays pretty often in my mind is very self indulgent "being grounded by castiel/cas supporting me through Mental Horrors"

i also like thinking about lucifer being obsessed with me a Loottt like lol you want me soo bad. but also like. the mutually toxic cishet (despite not being cis or het) couple trope where im psychologically war-faring him. its ok and ethical hes literally satan and a deadbeat dad. but i love him ^_^ ... but embarassingly pt 2 a very reoccuring daydream involving him is just him being genuinely sweet & loving .. satan is capable of love too guys

i keep going back to daydream about my self insert's time spent as a human girl, running away from home, selling her soul to crowley, (and most importantly of all) how that relationship develops with time, and the awkward beginnings of a young girl imprinting on the king of the crossroads who did NOT sign up to be summoned by a teenage girl just because shes lonely.

LATE SEASONS BUNKER SHENANIGANS!!! i play around a LOT with imagining im annoying the winchesters or that theyre annoying me in like. almost a slice of life way in the bunker. i mess around with a lot of random magic ideas too , ive got a bunch of random "episodes" written out in my mind cuz i wanted to think and giggle about unfortunate magical spells. brb turning dean into a hamster

💭 - are you more of a "has everything written down" self shipper or a "what happens in my daydreams STAYS in my daydreams" self shipper?

im the "wants to write a full length novel about my s/i one day but i have adhd" self shipper. ive written nothing but i want to beam my thoughts into everyone elses minds. you will watch supernatural rewritten with me in it boy

#asks

[genderkoolaid]

i dont consider myself achillean exactly, but i definitely get what youre saying. like when i think of myself in terms of how i look to queer women im like 'oh yeah im hot' but im still working on feeling that way towards men? like you said i just feel like i revert back to high school-ish feelings of 'oh im not an attractive girl no men will like me' when thinking abt my attraction to men.

Yes same!!! I think because within sapphic spaces butches are desirable (in a general sense) its easier to imagine someone being attracted to you. I've had plenty of cis girlfriends who I knew were attracted to me as a butch. But my 99% of my experience with cis(het) guys has been being the Weird Autistic Tranny. with women i can very easily fit into the butch role (altho thats not without its own issues esp when dating cis femmes :/) but my instinct whenever i'm attracted to a cis guy is just "admire from afar because he's probably thinks you're an ugly girl and it would be embarrassing to be into him."

#being attracted to cis women: feel like a predator #being attracted to cis men: feel like a loser #relationships as a trans is fun and easy :))) #and being aroallo on top of that.... eugh #m. #ask box

[jaed1nzmogies]

heyy long time no see! anyways rant post. its cool to skip this :)

cw for queer discourse. which i hate, and this will probably be the only time i ever discuss anything like this besides the occasional reblog

just a little rant about my thoughts recently. and please dont try to change my mind. im autistic and i have a large sense of justice so its almost impossible to change my mind about things im very stubborn

of course, my rant is about trans men trying to claim the lesbian label. i want to be specific when i say trans MEN, not trans masc people, not “masculine-aligned”, not gender fluid or anything else. trans men that identify as men. and THEN try to claim to be a lesbian. listen, i am in no way advocating for those types of lesbians. the really weird terfy ones are bad. so terfy lesbians or whatever youre calling yourself that hate trans women i do not like you.

Anyways, its infuriating. How are you not disgusted by using the term lesbian as a man? how are you, as a trans man, comfortable in any way shape or form. you work so hard to fit in as a man, right? if you are a man in your head, why do you think a lesbian would be attracted to you? surely you KNOW they are not thinking of you as a man. ever. And, how are you even comfortable using the term that women and other non men carved out for themselves? how do you feel like you have the right to trample over everything like that as a man?

I genuinely do not care if you identified as a lesbian before you transitioned. That does not give you the right to infringe on that label that is not for you. I don’t care if you “have such a deep connection to the label” you are creepy. Can you imagine a cis man doing that? why are you any different? and dont even get me started with “sexuality and gender are not rigid” then dont use the terms when you mean something else??? along with “contradicting terms is what being queer is about” what?? that is literally not even true 😭😭 identifying as things out of spite of your OWN community is crazy. these peoples logic is so crazy. i want to open their skull and examine their brain to see how it works.

Contradicting terms were more popular in the past, with things like boy dyke or other examples i cannot remember right now (im sorry if that wasnt even right but you know what im talking about right) The community has obviously changed. And it’s definitely for the better. As it stands, the community has plenty of fighting as it is. There is nothing you lose from just admitting something that everyone else knows; Youre just straight.

This is just another stupid issue that can so easily be solved. If you are a man, cis or trans, doesn’t matter. You cannot be a lesbian. You can have a connection to past experiences when you identified as a girl. You can recognize its part of your upbringing and effected you as a person. That does not give you the right to infringe on the label.

The community has demonized the label Straight so much that their own men have cowarded in fear of it.

You can use the word straight. you are not any less part of this community, i promise. theres more to life than existing out of spite of your own siblings.

Im going to be honest, if you identify as a lesbian, no one will see you as a man.

Honestly, why is it always lesbians getting the butt end of everything? wheres all the trans women claiming to be gay? yeah i wonder.

also, i want to make it clear im obviously a progressive. this is just where i draw the line morally. ok thanks

Anyways! i know this isnt the important issue right now but letting things off your chest is a good thing, right?

anyways love u guys hope ur doin well

#the term straight is okay to use guys #it wont bite #this isnt about he/him lesbians #this isnt about genderfluid lesbians #this isnt about nonbinary lesbians #lesbian discourse how original #discourse cw #discourse tw #discourse #banger post #based and redpilled

[truckfreaks]

had such an funny array of experiences the other night at that bar and I've been reflecting on it and wanting to write about it very much.....

on one hand i saw my friends sibling who i haven't seen in quite a while, and he was more outwardly open and excited and chatty than hes been for probably the whole ten years I've known him. like, he even invited me to his bands show? he never invites anyone! he's notorious in our crowd for being very, like... idk. ive heard lots of things - "particular", "difficult to work with", perfectionist... but he was totally different.

he brought his new boyfriend along, and we all had a long silly talk about sneaking into cons when we were kids, navigating the precarious world of gender soup (he understands my soup probably better than anyone, cis trans or otherwise, that I've ever met! it felt great!), the different creative projects were working on (he went to college for video game soundtrack composition at a really prestigious school - super talented!), got really excited when we realized we never had any idea one another had bugsonas and excitedly shared art of our respective bug guys... oh and his boyfriend recognized Dr. Habit on my phone lock/background?! it was the first time anyone's ever recognized anything SFM related on me in the wild ! so that was cool!

and on the other hand... my friend (his brother)'s girlfriend who i've been trying to give an honest fair shake in getting to know was there as well. and like, i think surface wise most people look at her and assume she's like, very ... leftist? and I'm sure she thinks she is, too. but every time i talk to her she sneaks in some kinda backhanded comment about women. i get a big internalized misogyny plus Italian familial politics vibe. and i found myself talking to her abt similar topics, because she said to me she's never seen her boyfriends brother so animated before! and i said well this might be my personal experience coloring things, but being out makes a massive difference in someone's ability to just, like, exist happily! and she wasn't sure what i meant by that, so i explained, and she was like "oh, well i guess i don't understand why you're choosing to identify in a neutral or masc leaning way but you dress like a girl?" and i explained that first off, i appreciate not getting it, but the first step is recognizing that there is no one right way to be a man or a woman, and if we accept gender nonconforming behavior from cis people then why don't we accept it from trans people? why do i have to be a caricature of manhood for you to see me as transmasc? and it kind of got through to her but... not entirely, because her line of questioning was a little ... invasive and unkind in a bad faith way (i have a LOT of patience for folks who may "get it wrong" but engage with me in a good faith way). like she was tryna play gotcha or something.

and i suppose the juxtaposition - people who are quietly queer suddenly becoming loudly queer and, as a result, happier, vs. people who are vocally supportive, but only when a person fits their narrative of what a queer person should look or act like... well. it was not lost on me!

and it also reminded me that sometimes, when you get a vibe about a person, you should trust your gut! it's ok to think, yeah, this isn't a nice person, im gonna protect myself! because if i continued engaging with her, the conversation might have gone very poorly. it certainly has in the past. (for example, apparently bee and puppycat was, and i quote, "too woke" for her. she got really mad when i laughed about it and realized with horror that she wasn't kidding). i feel bad for my friend (her boyfriend) for being in the middle of it, sorta. he's a easygoing simple dude who is wildly supportive of his brother and however he chooses to identify, and frankly i don't think he knows a whole lot about this side of his girlfriend because to him, he doesn't really seek out those kinda conversations. not obviously that it's never come up, but yeah. i know him well enough to know he doesn't share those feelings with her, and it's always really shocking to me to hear her express them - but always when he isn't around. so much so that in the past when I've expressed concern about it, he didn't believe me at first! (then other folks started saying the same thing.)

idk. life is cool and weird and i am happy to be a cool and weird little guy.

#sams undertale #tw transphobia #kinda? #just to be safe #trans joy