#like you were meant to help here!? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steelycunt · 1 year

Note

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!!#like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear.#okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon?#why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for.#god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely.#anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl.#girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

54 notes · View notes

quietwingsinthesky · 7 months

Text

actually funny story regarding prev post but when my friend forced my to watch Red White and Royal Blue, at one point I said something along the lines of “They’re probably going to break up in a few years anyway, despite all this fuss.” and she accused me of trying to ruin the movie for her. And then I did not say the next thing I thought because she was already annoyed at me, which was “Why does them breaking up in the future matter if the story is about them being in love now?”

#I mean actually I think about that a lot. I got in an argument with someone once because I didn’t understand why they were so insistent #that love had to be a forever thing. that if someone didn’t love you forever than the fact that they loved you now didn’t mean as much.#I don’t know. I don’t think I like that.#because you meet a lot of people in your life. most of them you aren’t going to love forever. or at least - you will not love them in the #same way that you started. it will change.#and the idea that somehow that makes those loves less important? less meaningful? it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.#because I think every love - however brief - is important. so what if you break up in a year. so what if you divorce in ten. so what if you #grow old together and decide eh. that’s enough. let’s try something new.#because you loved each other once. you love each other now. that relationship will always have an impact on you.#and I’m not sure the point I’m trying to make here. except that focusing on forever always seemed silly to me. no one has forever.#no one knows who they will be in one five ten fifteen fifty years.#idk. these conversations stuck with me.#idk something something bojack horseman finale quote right?#‘I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being. and you can be grateful for them.#even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.’

12 notes · View notes

smol-tired-binch-blog · 11 months

Text

hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

13 notes · View notes

r029 · 3 days

Text

I miss when things actually meant things.. Back in the day, relationships actually meant relationships. Love actually meant love. But now.. it's just what people classify things as things that are Ultimately useless and pointless. Getting to know people, actually meant getting to know people without any ulterior motives or at least not as much as now. Now everything's a game, of how to play people, who can manipulate better.. like what the fuvk? What is the fucking point anymore? Why even bother? It's all a waste of time.

#there is no point anymore. no one cares and no one tries. no one tries to actually be themselves. no on tries in putting in effort.#if someone does the bare minimum its groundbreaking. and thats fucking sad. things were supposed to evolve but it just disintegrated.#im not meant to be in this generation.#everyone is so close minded and brainwashed into thinking stupidity. no one thinks for themselves anymore.#everything is failing.#and i have to exist and watch it happen because its everywhere and you cant get away from it.#i wish i had an endless supply of drugs to ignore it.. but whats the point of that? because at the end of the day nothing changes.#and then once the drugs wear off.. it all hits me twenty times harder..#and its only way to not want to kill myself.. but theres no reason to be here and endure this shit.#my mother shouldve drowned me harder 😔#everything is curated to what you want to see. to what you want to believe. its all just fake.#i despise the promiscuous posts ive put out when i feel the complete opposite.. and yet im deluded enough to think why shit doesnt #doesnt work out for me? I think.. im so accustomed to not being believed and never taken seriously and felt as if i did that #its like my way of saying “youre right” but now im doing it and really making it a reality that can no longer be taken back.#whats done is done. whats happened has happened. and now i cant seem to care about much of anything anymore..#all because the people who were supposed to help.. didn't. the Teachers. the Principals. the Doctors. the Therapists. the Psychiatrists.#the Attorneys. the Judges. “Child Protective Services” and so many more. just didn't fucking care or try. until it was already too late #and the damage had been done.#im so fucking tired..

3 notes · View notes

waywardsalt · 4 days

Text

so. i've had an idea for a warrior cats fanfiction story, and have spent the last few years hammering out characters, the clans, how they work, the story... a whole lot of stuff. i've tried writing it before, and right now i don't have a current draft of early chapters, but I did recently write out a scene from much later in the story, and i'm pretty happy with it, soooo... here! a warrior cats fic scene i wrote in like an hour a week ago

By the time she led ShadeClan to the Gathering site, Emberstar felt her anxieties lessen. Her foreleg ached from the effort of the journey, but she kept her head high. Beside her, Acornfall glanced back at their clan, then nodded over to Emberstar. He led the clan down into the Gathering hollow, and Emberstar padded over to the slope up to the leader’s perch. PineClan and CliffClan cats were already quietly milling about in the hollow, and up on the overhang she could see Lakestar and Wolfstar waiting. There was no MoorClan scent among the gathered cats.

Emberstar made her way up the slope she’d seen Gorsestar and Froststar before her traverse. It was a thin path, slowly becoming steeper and steeper as she slunk closer to the overhang, finally reaching the steep, gravelly slope that led up to the leaders’ perch. Down at the base of the cliff, she could see Acornfall joining the other deputies with a polite nod of his head, and Troutfoot was carefully weaving her way through the crowd to meet with the other healers. Emberstar twitched her whiskers when Lakestar and Wolfstar noticed her. She crouched and tensed her back legs and leapt up the slope.

It wasn’t enough to reach the top, but she reached out with her forepaw and sunk her claws into the loose gravel and dug her back paws into the ground to keep from slithering back down. She slowly inched forward, moving a kittenstep at a time, but she kept her eyes fixed on the other leaders, more determined than ashamed of herself. Emberstar forced herself up the slope, but her heart skipped a beat when the gravel under her paw proved too loose to get a good enough grip- so close to the top, too. What a shame she had no other forepaw to lash out and find a grip with.

Emberstar felt herself begin to slide back down the slope, but a pair of jaws grasped her by the scruff and hoisted her up onto the overhang. She clawed at the grass and stumbled a step when let go and turned to meet Wolfstar’s amused gaze. “Careful there, three-paw,” the CliffClan leader gruffly purred. “It’s bad luck to fall at your first Gathering as leader.” She brushed past Emberstar to sit back down next to Lakestar.

With a huff, Emberstar followed her with a shake of her pelt. “I appreciate your help, but I would have been fine on my own. I suppose I owe you now?”

Wolfstar’s whiskers twitched. “Are you saying ShadeClan is now in CliffClan’s debt?”

The young leaders stared at each other, then broke out into amused purrs. Lakestar rolled her eyes and wrapped her tail around her paws. “So, you are ShadeClan’s leader now, Emberstar? Or is it still Emberblaze?”

“It is Emberstar now. I visited the Moon Cavern for my lives only a few sunrises ago.”

“May StarClan light your path as leader, then.” Lakestar stiffly dipped her head. Despite the brusque words, there was genuine respect in her pale eyes.

Wolfstar’s own eyes were still bright with humor. “You’ll be great, I know it. What happened to Froststar, then?”

Emberstar narrowed her eyes and turned her gaze to the gathered cats. “I’ll explain that once the Gathering begins. MoorClan is late tonight.” She surveyed the crowd of cats, peering straight down at the huddled healers. Sitting with her back to her PineClan clanmates, Flarelight was sitting close to Troutfrost. After a moment, she gazed up at the overhang, and her eyes met Emberstar’s. Her eyes grew wide and she stared at her littermate for a long moment until another healer got her attention. Then, as if she’d seen nothing, Flarelight flicked her tail and joined the conversation. Her twitching tail-tip was the only hint that she was distracted. Emberstar blinked. She’d become leader so recently that not even the other healers knew, much less the other clans’ warriors. In the crowd of CliffClan cats, she spotted Sunscorch, sitting with his fur brushing Moonwhisper’s, his eyes wide and his body stiff while he stared at his sister up on the overhang.

Poor Sunscorch, so softhearted under those honed claws and strong limbs- he was likely to take the news of Froststar’s death the hardest. Emberstar held his gaze, blinked slowly, and turned her head to the sky. The moon was nearly overhead, and still MoorClan was absent.

“You ought to start the Gathering now,” Wolfstar growled to Lakestar. “It’s newleaf, after all, and if MoorClan’s late then they’re late.”

“We should wait,” Emberstar sharply mewed. “This is my first Gathering as leader, so it would be disrespectful to me as well as MoorClan if we begin without them. It may anger StarClan as well,” she finished in a murmur, flicking her tail-tip up at the sky. Wolfstar just bushed out her stormy gray fur and huffed.

Lakestar gazed up at the sky. Emberstar looked over at her. For so long, as an apprentice, as a warrior, as the deputy, she’d never dared to be so close to the cold PineClan leader. But now, she was barely a tail-length from the sleek silver tabby, and they sat as equals in standing. Lakestar was likely at less than nine lives and Emberstar was without a right foreleg, but they were equals nonetheless.

She was knocked from her thoughts by Wolfstar headbutting her. The larger cat nearly shoved her off-balance. “Glad to see that we’re both finally up here. I was waiting to see when you’d catch up, three-paw.”

Emberstar licked Wolfstar’s ear. “You know I must take things slower than you.”

“Who’d you pick as deputy?” Wolfstar leaned over the edge to inspect the group of deputies. “Hm- Acornfall?”

“He’s a good warrior. Older than me by four seasons, so I trust his advice and his skill.”

“I thought you would have picked Lavenderflash. Or maybe Darknose, you two always seemed close.”

Emberstar gazed down at Lavenderflash, spotting the pure-black molly quickly- she was almost certain there was obvious fondness in her eyes as she looked at her former apprentice. “Lavenderflash is… young and still training her first apprentice. She is a good, loyal warrior, but not fit to be deputy or eventual leader in my mind. And Darknose…” The tom was sitting at the edge of the crowd, alone. “He is a possibility, but he still mourns his brother even all these moons later, so I don’t know if he would be the best choice.”

Wolfstar made a sniff of approval, then her gaze snapped to the far hill. A yowl rang out, and the three leaders pricked their ears and the cats in the hollow turned to see MoorClan finally arrive, led by Applestar. Emberstar sat stiffly until she spotted Glowflame in the crowd, side-by-side with Orangeclaw. He joined the cats in the hollow with his clan while Applestar broke off to climb up to the overhang, and he seemed to murmur something to Orangeclaw before she angled her ears up at Emberstar. Glowflame looked up and spotted her, and his jaw dropped open. Emberstar couldn’t help but let out a purr of affection for her brother as he gaped in amazement at her.

Applestar greeted the other leaders when he finally joined them, nodding briefly at Emberstar, and hurriedly sat down next to Lakestar, his mottled fur standing up along his spine. The leaders gave the cats in the hollow a few moments to settle down. In that time, Emberstar saw her littermates make their ways through the crowd towards each other. By the time Lakestar threw back her head and yowled to signify the beginning of the Gathering, Flarelight, Sunscorch, and Glowflame sat huddled together with their eyes trained on their sister. Emberstar met their gazes for just a heartbeat and felt the final icicles of her anxiety melt away.

She then turned her head to watch Lakestar as she began to announce her clan’s news for the moon, and reminded herself of what she had to announce when it was her turn. She was ShadeClan’s leader, now. StarClan had approved of her. Emberstar lifted her chin and, with a deep breath, finally settled into her place at the head of her clan.

#woe warrior cats fanfiction be upon ye #my writing #fanfiction #warrior cats #hmmm...#waywardsalt's warrior cats #yeahhhh #anyways a few things abt this related specifically to whats in here #emberstar and wolfstar are not in any kind of relationship theyre just longtime friends n rivals tho at some point wolfstar had a crush #emberstar is meant to be aro/ace and otherwise has no interest in taking a mate at all but she loves her clanmates #glowflame and orangeclaw are mates and sunscorch and moonwhisper are mates idk if flarelight will be in a relationship #the map for this fic (clan territories and camp layouts and moon cavern/gathering spot) is based on a minecraft world i have its v helpful #i have a full alliances list for the living cats at the very beginning of the story but it lacks cats outside the clan bc uhhhh i dont #think there are too many that are present that early and also loners arent usually a big thing its mostly cats passing through #emberstar is mostly dark ginger and black flarelight is mostly just dark ginger sunscorch is gold/yellow and glowflame is yellow and white #all four of them have ice blue eyes and black ear tips i am getting funky with cat designs i do not care. they have teh most unique designs #calling med cats healers bc of. reasons you may know why. and she cats are mollies bc like. why not #emberstar is a tripod cat she is missing a foreleg and she is the primary primary protag she is the most frequent pov #so i have thought a lot abt how she would need to be trained and assessed differently and what she cannot do and how she does warrior dutie #ember flare sun and glow all grew up together but separated into the different clans for Reasons ember stayed in shadeclan bc she was deput #it was also for those Reasons but dw abt it. sunscorch is gay glowflame is bi flarelight is a lesbian #gorsestar and froststar (the previous shadeclan leaders emberstar thinks of) were both mollies and were mates. frost mentored emberstar #its a little bit of nepotism but ember was frost's like. third deputy so its whatever. i picked acornfall as deputy as a placeholder #and bc i couldnt fucking remember anyone else except nobodies in shadeclan but now that i think about it he's actually a good choice #aaaand emberstar is my oldest warrior cats rp character shes been with me a long time- second oldest is sunscorch #emberstar began as emberheart and sunscorch was an edgy murder rogue named sun i roleplayed them in a specific mc server

2 notes · View notes

cave-monkey · 2 months

Text

Monkey King 2009 Episode 3

Them having Stone Monkey (apparently purely on instinct) constantly scratching while being introduced to the troop was pretty cool, since that's a legitimate deescalation behavior in monkeys. Something about how revealing stress acts as a bonding behavior and makes it less likely they'll be attacked. Humans do it too, kind of, when they rub at their hands or shoulders or neck (etc. etc.) when nervous or overwhelmed. ("Empathize with me! I am very stressed!").

Also something-something instinctive behaviors aside Stone Monkey being excited/overwhelmed/maybe a little overstimulated and choosing "ESCALATION!!!" as his response to all of that. He thinks the troop being scared of him is hilarious. He's scratching the fur off his arms but he's also going to get right up in your face anyway. Cautiously join him in admiring his cool new rock? He is going to play-lunge and also scream. Absolutely amazing. The troop has no idea what to do with these mixed signals. This kid is a menace and I love him.

Six Ears even gets in on the scratching behavior occasionally in the background, which might be because Stone Monkey actively terrorizing literally everyone trying to be playful (because he has the social skills of a literal, actual rock) is stressing Six Ears right out or it could be an attempt to deescalate on Stone Monkey's behalf. Monkey version of following in his new friend's wake throwing apologetic grimace-smiles at everyone. Possibly it's both. Point is: They included these behaviors and it's very fun.

You can also tell it worked because in just the journey to the cave you watch the four generals' views on Stone Monkey go from "uncanny valley horror entity lurking in the forest probably to kill us all" to "what a rude little kid >:| Emphasis on RUDE."

And, okay, I admit, I have softened my stance on the four generals. Somewhat. They seem to actually be taking their jobs seriously now. Maybe Episode 1 was a wake-up call and they won't utterly fail to notice an incursion until it's in the heart of their territory again. I don't want to go too crazy, but maybe they'll even be able to even muster a coherent response! Good for them.

Should probably still not be managing children, though.

Speaking of, Six Ears's increasing despair watching the train wreck in motion that was the four generals fumbling hard in giving Stone Monkey his very first etiquette lesson after he finally settled down and seemed willing to hear them out is also very relatable and hilarious. He knows they failed the test. Stone Monkey is definitely never going to listen to them again. They blew it. RIP Flower Fruit Mountain.

Stone Monkey does check in with Six Ears when he decides the generals are useless about explaining though, and that's pretty cute. He trusts his friend :) He also definitely internalizes that thing about having to ask to leave the presence of the king, so at least they managed to teach him some manners. ONE manners. A single manner. (Spoiler: They immediately regret this.)

But hey! This time Six Ears is left entirely to his own devices and still manages to get caught smack in the middle of enemy action. Not the Generals' fault for once! Six Ears just attracts this kind of thing, I guess.

3/3 Six Ears is Damsel-ed, but only 2/3 it's the adults' fault. The tally develops.

#also not gonna lie I first thought stone monkey might have hella fleas. he still might to be honest. someone check up on that.#mhw09 personal #squinting at old monkey king pretending to be asleep this episode #my guy you were definitely ACTUALLY out of it in episode 1 don't you be acting like you weren't #you passed out in the middle of an invasion and almost got your kid killed #the fact you managed to make it to your seat BEFORE you passed out so you could pretend you were just too cool for the LITERAL INVASION #doesn't mean a dang thing. you're not fooling me.#also. stop that. you are giving the troop SEVERELY mixed signals #I am easing up a liiiittle more on the generals since it seems the old monkey king is actively hiding and obfuscating the severity of his #condition from the very people who are presumably meant to help him shoulder the burden of leading the troop #no wonder they don't take him fretting about his age seriously: he's turning it into a joke himself #considering episode 1 and then here and also how much more energetic he seemed in episode 2 #I'm headcanoning (if this isn't just straight up canon) that old monkey king has good days and bad days #but you can't tell which he's having because he uses his good days to turn all his bad day low energy behaviors #into games. it's all DELIBERATE guys. he's keeping you on your TOES. he isn't LITERALLY DYING-#hiding his weakness makes perfect sense on the *whole* in keeping his troop from panic and insecurity. maybe.#but it's not smart that he's even letting his generals believe it #they're still not off the hook for throwing a kid out to face the horror movie monster they were convinced was living in the woods though!#and it's no excuse for being THAT negligent in their duties and then their straight-up professional incompetence in episode 1 #they let themselves get rusty and put everyone in danger and that's on them #but not being as much of a help to their king as they should be maybe isn't so much their fault #if they're being lied to about how much the old monkey king can actually handle. BY the old monkey king.#I GUESS #dang this troop is a total mess. I love it.

3 notes · View notes

avisisisis · 2 months

Text

"we thought he was here to help us" why don't i just kill myself

#star wars #anakin you fucking IDIOT #the way reva gives all the dead younglings a voice #we cared about thwir deaths because of what it meant for the story. for anakin #but they weren't actual characters. now w reva we know what they were feeling #it's confirmed. it shows just how horrible anakin skywalker's actions were and how his choices only led to suffering #and for others. not just himself #bc ik we all like to watch him suffer. ik he's one of the most fucked up characters in all the ways someone can be fucked up #(physically because the suit was literally a method of torture. emotionally and mentally because. well. you know)#“we thought he was here to save us”#anakin skywalker was a jedi and jedi had the duty to protect #their need to help others was like an itch you couldn't scratch. they were meant to protect and meant to save others #and anakin was too. but when it mattered the most he didn't #“we thought he was here to help us'#all the younglings we don't even know the names of #their fear and horror and anger. what they felt when their so-called savior betrayed them #the younglings. who remembered anakin as the cool jedi knight who fought in the war #the hero with no fear. the younglings who wished to be like him one day. the little kids that looked up to him #they wanted to be his padawan just to get a chance to meet him #sometimes when he was a padawan they could convince him to show them force tricks #they saw that he had been sent to help them and felt hope #because they knew that anakin was a hero. they thought that he would never hurt them #that they would maybe make it out alive #they were wrong.#anakin skywalker. not only a hero or a villain or just a man but also a murderer of children #anakin who had the duty to protect and killed them all instead #he stabs reva. she couldn't fight back. they couldn't fight back #there was nothing they could do. from the moment he ignited his lightsaber it became obvious that they were going to die #reva couldn't hit him even once. the younglings were unable to fight back #anakin skywalker murdered the children he was meant to protect. then and now

2 notes · View notes

munamania · 6 months

Text

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

4 notes · View notes

andthebeanstalk · 6 months

Text

My sister-in-law frustrates me to no end even though we barely ever interact because she keeps inviting my partner to parties with her Christian Republican friends, even though my partner told her not to send an invite to us if those friends will be there. And even though my sister-in-law is bisexual!!

And then she turns around and complains about not knowing how to deal with her friends saying, like, horrible sexist stuff as though that is just some natural unavoidable quirk of having friends!

Like, these Christian Republicans she has befriended don't seem to be kind - they're not even nice a lot of the time! They don't make for good friends, and she doesn't seem happy or supported in relation to them. In fact, she basically only ever talks about how her friends and/or current boyfriend are making her unhappy!

Because here's the thing: The effect of prioritizing 'including your Trump-supporter friends at your parties' over 'being invested in creating a safe space for marginalized people in your home', is that people who DO care about creating those safe spaces... won't wanna hang out with you! Because if you invite both cats and mice to your table equally, only the cats will show!

She's so afraid of losing the shitty friends she has now that she allows them to act as barriers to accessing friends who are invested in her wellbeing in a capitalistic hellscape!

It makes me sad because she's basically trapped herself, and there's nothing I can do to offer help without either compromising my morals or making my partner's life way harder by starting shit with her family.

Like, I consider myself a good friend, yeah? I try really really hard to be one, and it matters to me immensely. I am ride-or-die for the folks I love, and I am invested in being open and vulnerable and radically safe to be around when it comes to building strong friendships that are mutually fulfilling. I have a unique talent for validating people that I have honed for years because I genuinely want to make sure people feel safe and loved and seen.

And if my sister-in-law and I were friends, I could give all of that to her. I would strive to be an example of what it looks like when someone decides to care about you and treat you right on purpose, without expecting anything in return but your mutual respect. She would be family. She would be [Queer] Family. I would see to it that she knew she could call on me when she needed a friend.

But like.

This asshole has invited me to hang out with Trump supporters on multiple occasions.

We ain't gonna be friends.

#original #diary #family shit #I'll just continue to act friendly at family events #my friends help make me a better person. i don't think she could say the same for hers. makes me mad and sad #reminds me of the time i had to end a friendship bc a woman i had been inviting to group events revealed to me that she was #literally friends with Kelly Ann Conway. yes the aid to the president. that Kelly Ann. and when i tell you this friend of mine did NOT #understand why her defending Kelly Ann Conway made me feel unsafe. it was WILD #that's how my sister-in-law reacted when my wife was like 'hey stop inviting my non-cis ass to parties with transphobes'#both made arguments similar to 'i already don't have many friends why do you want me to lose more??'#like girlies you can't invite me and a bunch of homophobic Christians to the same party what is fucking wrong with you??#you can goddamn bet if you came to one of my parties there wouldn't be anyone there who'd try to defend the Trump administration #loneliness is frightening and painful and no joke but cowardice is no joke either #and this attitude meant that my wife and i could not safely rely on her when we went through several crisis situations #and this is something i find difficult to forgive bc shit was touch and go over here for a couple years #my wife isn't even as salty as i am about it but she never is when the primary person harmed is herself #maybe if sister-in-law recognized the flawed behavior and changed but she probably won't tbh and i have shit to do #have fun with your fascist friends girlie i wonder if sometimes it feels more lonely than if you were alone #have fun practicing the white silence our parents got so good at; you're really carrying on the family business your dad must be so proud <#i haven't had to deal with friends saying sexist shit for literal years sorry you've made yourself unsafe to trans people i guess #making friends is hard i know that all too well. but i also know that the more friends i make who make me feel sad and small #then the less time i have for friends that make me feel loved and motivate me to be a better person. time=limited. people=over 6 billion.#school was harder because the amount of folks was more limited. same with small towns. but we are all ADULTS LIVING IN CHICAGO #capitalism makes finding friends harder too but like it has GOT to matter to you that Trans people and POC feel safe #we each have control over whether oppressed people feel safe around us. don't fucking waste that.

4 notes · View notes