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olderthannetfic · 10 months

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/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.

Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"

Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.

And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.

Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.

I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.

Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.

I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?

As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.

In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.

Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.

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tiasreadingnook · 2 years

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FAVORITE AUTHORS AND WHY

[ A/N: These are based on my opinion, standards, and experiences only. The writers in this blog are those whose blogs I read religiously. I weirdly have a high standard on what fics I can read without cringing and these writers are the ones on the top of my list. This is also for those new readers that are still kinda confused about where to start and where they can find writers with extensive and quality master lists. This is a continuously growing list and I will add more when I encounter others.]

This list are blogs that mostly make fanfictions of the characters Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan plays.

Please read the individual warnings, rules, and tags in each of these writers' blogs or fics. Minors dni.

@littlefreya - "The Eve"

When I was lost and new to the Henry Cavill fandom it was her stories that were the final nail to my coffin that will bury me 6 feet under the fandom. Her master list is everything and more -- smut, ddlg, dark, fluff, domestic -- whatever you want it's there.

@onsunnyside - "My Sofia Coppola"

Sofia Coppola is my favorite director when it comes to imagery and aesthetics -- that is why I consider Sunny as my Sofia because I SWEAR the first time I read Tarzan!Steve fic it was like a movie and none of her stories have ever disappointed me. I still can't believe I read her stories for free.

@evansbby - "New York Times"

I've said it once and I'll repeat it, I check her blog every day like it's the morning news. I am so obsessed with her stories it is unhealthy. She writes the most delicious and varied Chris Evans and characters fics which makes it exciting but also comforting at the same time because at the end of the day -- they're all daddy.

@kinanabinks - "Spicy Shakespeare"

I actually took a lot of inspiration from her in one of my series -- she is that good. She writes the most delicious smut with the perfect splash of angst, tragedy, drama, and smut that will satisfy that itch in your head when you're looking for a bit of drama in your p*rn.

@comfortcap - "Guilty Comfort"

My daddy issues FLARE TF UP when I'm reading any of her (ddlg) fics. Such a sweet writer with the sweetest, fluffiest, and sometimes smuttiest fics that makes me feel guilty and comforted at the same time ;3 I love reading her stuff after a long and overwhelming day.

@junipermuses - "Lizzy Grant"

Lizzy Grant -- aka Lana del Ray -- is how I imagine her fics would be if it was a person. Sexy, effortlessly cool, and so put together. The subtle but easy-to-digest plots builds up the smut so much that it's so satisfying to watch it all unravel in the end.

@buckycuddlebuddy - "hey god ... me again"

Her fics immerse me so much that she has me giggling and kicking my feet as I read them. She is one of the few "x reader" fic writers that makes me want to cry and scream and beg whichever god is listening to move me in the alternate reality where I am the "reader" / main character in her story.

@sillyrabbit81 - "Mother Nature Called"

I swear every time I'm on my period you will find me vicariously scrolling through her master list because the way she writes the daddies (ESPECIALLY SY) are so comforting, dominant, and caring that it just turns my heart, womb, and coochie into mush.

@angrythingstarlight - "Pandora's Box"

Once you open her master list you will read nothing but her works for days (trust me I've been there) . She has an extensive collection of works that are a top quality. Her works can range from sweet to downright nasty to the fluffiest domestic scenarios that will have you grinning at your screen at 3 am.

@hansensgirl - "The Witch"

I forget feminism when I'm reading her works. I cannot believe I'm giggling over a man bossing me over and controlling my entire life?! And she somehow makes it work and that's how I've come to the theory that she pulls some witchcraft shit when she writes her stories but hey ... I'm not complaining.

@pellucid-constellations - "All Too Well (10 minute version)"

She writes the BEST angst and that's coming from me whose comfort film is "Love, Rosie". If you're looking for a well-developed plot, characters, and story arcs that end with a lot of groveling, comfort, and a happy ending -- look no further.

#tia's recommendations #author recommendation

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faejilly · 5 months

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jilly's week in review?

I guess or something. Idek y'all, I was gonna try and do reviews but then I just rambled about what I did instead, so this is clearly gonna need a format revamp next week

anyway

READING

Finished Daughter of Witches

and also St. Peter's Fair, which I had started AGES ago and sort of lost track of, but I'm doing the January Challenge on TheStoryGraph and couldn't decide what to read next but needed to get my pages in, so I went digging for random shit and I have read it before and watched all the Cadfael mysteries so it's not like it was hard to get into to finish it so I could save my streak.😅

Read A House with Good Bones (on purpose from start to finish in one day!) because T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon is absofuckinglutely one of my favorites. (There's a thought here about my occasional forays into the horror genre, and how some horror is almost kind of cozy because it's about protecting what we love from what we fear, and that is very much a Kingfisher kind of thing, but that might need a new post and a more functional brain to figure out where I'm going with that.)

Listened to a little bit more of IT while doing housework; I'm not great at audio books except when I'm driving, but sometimes I can manage a little (and I didn't want to distract myself from dishes by picking up a new book instead). Stephen Weber is an excellent narrator btw, for anyone who's curious.

WATCHING

The husband was sick last week, and I was only sort of doing shit either, so he kind of just put the TV on and let it go and I definitely will not manage a nice list with links like I did with books. There was some M*A*S*H, (oh, I did finally watch the special that recently came out on Hulu), and RoboCop (largely because Thing 1 gave the husband the new game for Christmas) and several different Predator movies of various quality, and a bunch of other stuff I am not thinking of at the moment. I know I picked a couple and watched them myself but with everything else I can't remember what?

Also some Mythbusters when Thing 2 picked something to watch for awhile, which is pretty much always entertaining even when we're like: your sample size is nonexistent and just because you can't do it doesn't mean someone who knows what they're doing couldn't have done it so are you SURE you should have busted that? 😅

PLAYING

I got Garden Story for Christmas and got through the quest-lines and realized I was quite far away from all the upgrades, so I've been periodically poking at it and trying to get my villages/tools better before trying the Final Boss. I have had a good time with Concord though, it's fun, I'm just not sure the leveling functions, such as they are, are paced/balanced quite right? 😅 (Or perhaps I'm just Bad At Fighting In Cozy Games? This does seem to be a bit of a trend tbqh, probably why I liked Wylde Flowers' lack of combat so much.) I also have found VERY FEW of the memories/weird achievements so that's a thing I'm probably going to have to look up hints for soon-ish...

(I did finish Potion Permit last year, which is great, I recommend it whole-heartedly: the potion building mechanic is usually pretty solid, it has good characters, a nice aesthetic, I did actually mostly have fun rolling around and fighting things/gathering stuff, but I did reach the end of the main quest and then go... huh, is that it? just because it, yk, kept going after the finale but there didn't seem to be anything there beyond like, a couple personal quests that needed materials I couldn't unlock until the end.)

MORE ENTERTAININGLY I THINK, we did also play some board games

Paint The Roses is QUITE HARD with only two people even if you stick to the medium level whims; or maybe I'm just not that smart?!? We did in fact survive without getting our heads' chopped off by the Queen of Hearts, but we legit guessed the last two puzzles so. Dumb Luck™️ is not nearly as reliable as actually figuring out how to plot your plants better.

We did Escape the Dark Sector (with more people this time, tbf) on our first try though! That was pretty delightful. It is atmospheric and potentially almost deadly without feeling too awful at any point! Also I got to punch a tentacle monster!

Mice & Mystics can go dramatically bad if your dice aren't on your side and you do like, one stupid thing to compound that, and then if you're invested enough to start over you can suddenly realize you've been moving tiny plastic mice and bugs around the table for like four hours and still only got through the first chapter... but not regret it at all because you like your mice and are very proud of them for finally making it!

Can you tell we like co-op games? 🤣🤣🤣

(I did also do some rearranging so the game room was comfier, so like, win/win I adulted and played!)

THERE WAS NO WRITING OR CROSS-STITCHING OR PAINTING OR ANYTHING ELSE THIS WEEK, so uh. Clearly my balance of activities is bonkers and I should maybe get off the couch/game chair(s) a bit more often.

#jilly spam #jilly reads #jilly has a gaming problem #favorite shows #I guess for the brief MASH mention?#I can definitely recommend #a house with good bones #for feels and family dysfunction and weird/terrible magic shit and a Vulture and terrifying roses!#plus some interesting tangents on how batshit people can get #including historical examples!#(not that historical)#that makes no sense sorry I'll stop now #tag spam #week in review #will probably need a better tag for that too #but that is a problem #for tomorrow!jilly

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tabsters · 10 months

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Q & A WITH THE ZODIACS!!

all questions submitted by @mythicalmagical-monkeyman, thank you for all of them!

if anyone else wants to submit asks about the zodiacs for a part two, you're more than welcome to! (aka: please do i love answering asks @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @hyperfixation-tangentopia)

previous posts are here

LETS GET INTO IT!!

Which zodiacs would start a podcast?

Leo: Starting a podcast sounds fun! Gemini: I wanna talk into a microphone for three hours and have people listen to me on spotify!

Who would HATE musical numbers?

Capricorn: I walk into the room and I hear this shit- Aquarius: NOW HAMILTON'S SKILL WITH THE QUILL IS UNDENIABLE, Gemini: BUT WHAT DO WE HAVE IN COMMON? Leo: WE'RE RELIABLE WITH THE- Aquarius, Gemini, Leo: LAAAAADIES!! Capricorn: I am in hell.

Who would train raccoons to take out the trash?

Gemini, holding up a raccoon while several more walk around her feet: And this is McChonkers, and this is Zuzu, and this is Boops, and this is Tom! Cancer: ...Very nice, dear, but...where did you find all of them? Sagittarius: Aquarius abducted them from the mortal realm. Aquarius: Strictly for scientific purposes.

What would be all the zodiacs go to Halloween costumes?

Aries: Everyone tells me I look like JD from Heathers...so I guess JD? Taurus: Isabela from Encanto. She's pretty. Gemini: Slenderman. No, I will not elaborate. Cancer: A pirate. Yo ho ho. Leo: Hmmm, depends. I mean, I can just shapeshift into anybody, so whatever I'm feeling at Halloween, I suppose. Virgo: Some obscure goddess from the book Gemini's writing. Libra: A fairy. Mostly because I already have butterfly wings and a large amount of flowy dresses. Scorpio: Hobie Brown. He's so fucking cool. Sagittarius: Sapnap from the Dream SMP! AND IF ANY OF YOU FUCKWADS MAKE FUN OF ME, I SWEAR TO GOD- Capricorn: A witch. I mean, Gemini says I'm already one- Aquarius: Hatsune Miku. Will I explain? No. Pisces: Kuchisake-onna. Do not google her unless you want nightmares.

Who would spend to much money on lego?

Scorpio: Gemini and Aquarius aren't allowed to go to the Mortal Realm anymore, not after they spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS ON LEGOS. Gemini: WE HAD TO BUY THE ENTIRE LEGO ARCHITECTURE SET!

Who'd be on tumblr?

Aquarius: I've been on it since 2015. Gemini: I use it, but I'm more of a TikTok girlie. Scorpio: I came here for aesthetic moodboards and left mentally ill.

Who'd be on twitter?

Aries: Only on here for the memes. Leo: Hehe funny bird app. Sagittarius: I'm on here for threadfics and fanart. Capricorn: I got into a fight with a terf on Twitter because she called my fiancee a slur.

And who'd be on youtube?

Libra: Libra: Welcome back to my unboxing video-

Who has the worst hygiene?

Cancer: Virgo, darling, when was the last time you showered? Virgo: Cancer: When was the last time you changed your clothes? Virgo: Cancer: When was the last time you brushed your teeth? Virgo: Cancer: Cancer: Amor, please-

What's everone's favorite movies?

Aries, Scorpio, Gemini: Across the Spiderverse!! Taurus: Onward. I love fantasy movies. Cancer, Virgo: Breakfast at Tiffany's. Leo: The Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Libra: To All The Boys I've Loved Before. Sagittarius: Crazy Rich Asians. I watch it religiously. Capricorn: Everything Everywhere All at Once. Aquarius: Movies are overrated, embrace musicals. Pisces: Big Hero Six. Do not laugh.

Eclipse is a girlboss.

Eclipse: Thank you!! Eclipse: *Headbobs aggresively so that the shades on her head fall down over her eyes*

What are Eclipse's henchmen's favorite sports?

Perseus: Football. And no, it's not sOcCeR, like you Americans say. Orion: Badminton. Especially when I hit Percy in the face with a birdie. Hercules: Uhhhh, wrestling. Orion: Yeah, that's cause you get to be half naked and I get to watch you pin down Percy with your enormous *gets slapped*

What is a fun fact about Eclipse?

Eclipse: Every fact about me is a fun fact! Perseus: She decapitated her father.

What's the most normal thing Eclipse has done?

Hercules: She woke us all up at two am to show us a funny meme.

Out of the zodiacs:

Who likes apple cider and who likes hot chocolate?

Aries: Apple cider. Taurus: Why not both? Gemini: Oooh, hot chocolate! Cancer: Virgo makes very good cider. Leo: Spiked apple cider is good. Virgo: I make cider. Libra: Hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows. Scorpio: Hot chocolate. Sagittarius: What happens if you combine them? Capricorn: Neither of them. Tea. Aquarius: Apple cider, I suppose. But it feels wrong to drink apple cider in any season besides Autumn. Pisces: Hot chocolate.

Out of the zodiacs who do u relate to the most?

Oooh, definitely Sagittarius cause I based him off my experiences as a second generation Asian American. I also relate to Aquarius a large amount because I based her off of my experiences as a mentally burnt out gifted kid.

Which zodiac was the hardest to characterize and come up with stuff for?

Probably Virgo, followed by Pisces. I based the Zodiacs off of people I know, and three of my best friends are Virgos, so it was kind of hard trying to mash all of their personalities together to form one Libra. Pisces was hard because I wanted to subvert the trope of all Pisceans being shy and passive, but I also accidentally made him a literal psycho in the process. Whoops.

I'ma a Virgo sooooooooooo

What is Virgo's go to outfit?

Virgo: Normally, I wear sweaters and leggings, sometimes fancy dresses if there's an official meeting I must attend. Occassionally, I allow Gemini to make flower crowns for me.

What's her favorite country?

Virgo: Longue vie à la France. (Long live France.)

What's her favorite plant?

Virgo: I like peonies and hyacinths best.

Does she have glasses?

Virgo: Only reading glasses!

What's her favorite era of history?

Virgo: Does one usually have a favorite era of history? I suppose medieval France, as that was the time period I lived in.

Which zodiac is the most inappropriate?

Leo: CHOKE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME BUT YOU LOVE ME- Libra: N O Gemini: LOW KEY WANNA DATE ME WHEN YOU FUCK ME- Aquarius: S T O P Sagittarius: TOUCH ME WITH THE LIGHTS OFF AND MY CHAINS ON- Aries: W H Y

Who's going to go cliff jumping?

Sagittarius: Time to YEET myself off a cliff!! Gemini: TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUU Leo: WHEEEE!!!

Eclipse's henchmen are totally himbos so which Kronk quotes are they?

Eclipse: I'd say only Hercules is a himbo, Orion's more of a twink and Perseus is a Tumblr sexyman, but if you insist! Eclipse: Perseus is “The nightmare began on a day like any other. Actually, that would make it a daymare, but I digress.” Eclipse: Orion is "Whoo! Faster, faster! Yzma! Put your hands in the air! Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!" Eclipse: And Hercules is "The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specifically for Kuzco. Kuzco's poison."

Which zodiac would throw cheese and at who?

Leo: Hahaha, everyone point and laugh at the poor lactose intolerant person! Sagittarius: If you throw any more babybel cheese at me, I will- Leo: YEET

Who's the best at ruling their kingdom?

All Zodiacs: Me, obviously.

Who would watch LMK and would they like it?

Gemini, sobbing: MK MY GUY YOU NEED A BREAK POOR BABY Sagittarius: SUN WUKONG NOOOOOOOO YOUR TRAUMA NOOOOOO Scorpio: MEI YOU'RE A BADASS AND A GIRLBOSS KEEP IT UP!!

Who's the parent that would give the other zodiacs the shirt off their back?

Aries: Cancer Gemini: Virgo Leo: Cancer Libra: Virgo Scorpio: Virgo Sagittarius: Capricorn Aquarius: Cancer (Those are the 'Zodiac Crackheads', aka the younger Zodiacs. Pisces could technically be grouped in with them, but he is not a crackhead.)

Who's obsessed with something and would continuously send pictures of their obsession to the group chat?

Scorpio: I SWEAR TO GOD, AQUARIUS, STOP SENDING PICTURES OF MUSHROOMS IN THE GC Aquarius: ONLY WHEN GEMINI AND SAGITTARIUS STOP SENDING LEGO MONKIE KID MEMES

My brain is foggy buuuuuut

u wrote the lmk villains group chat fic right? (yep, that's me!)

and if u did

Would u ever consider writing a zodiac group chat fic?

Ooh, I started writing one when I was in eighth grade, but it's pretty outdated now. Might consider rewriting it though!

Would any zodiacs believe in aliens?

Aquarius: I mean, technically the entirety of the Astral Realm are aliens, so yes, aliens are real. Sagittarius: BUT ALIENS WITH TENTACLES AND MANY EYES ARE DEFINITELY OUT THERE-

Out of all the characters who would go cow tipping?

Gemini, Leo: Hehehe knock over cow Taurus (a cow constellation): Wait wait no- Orion, Hercules, Eclipse: Hehehe push sleeping cow over Perseus: Why-

zodiacs vs baby?

Aries: Holds the baby at arm's length Taurus: Sings a lullaby to the baby Gemini: Holds the baby upside down Cancer: Gives the baby back pats Leo: Shapeshifts to entertain the baby Virgo: Rocks the baby Libra: Accidentally loses track of the baby because she's blind Scorpio: Keeps ten feet away from the baby so he doesn't accidentally sting it Sagittarius: Plays tag with the baby Capricorn: She's been a mom before, so she changes the baby's diaper and puts it down for a nap Aquarius: Thinks it's another speciman for her experiments Pisces: Dropkicks the baby

The theater zodiacs favorite musicals~?

Gemini: Heathers! Leo: Why must you make me pick? *dramatic sigh* Wicked. Aquarius: Hamilton or In The Heights. I like Lin Manuel Miranda.

Which zodiac likes things plain and which one can't eat anything with out at least at least a million toppings on top?

Aries: Gem-Gemini, that's enough toppings- Gemini: *taking a scoop from every single topping container* Fuck you, this is how I want to eat my frozen yogurt and you cannot stop me. Gemini: At least I'm not like Scorpio, bastard likes plain vanilla fro-yo. Scorpio: I have S E N S O R Y I S S U E S.

aaand that's all the questions! if you'd like a part two, my inbox is always open for more questions about the z̷̝͇̭̖̫͈͒͑̈́̆̅̃̐̿͆̏̍̆̂͠͠ͅọ̸͂͊̊̔d̸̡̧̢̛̞͈̤͍͓̳̱͎͈̞̤̟̼̃̿͑̈́͋̀̍̃̐̇̍̚į̸̡̯̼̟͔̭̱̤̜͙̮̜̂͛͒̀͛̈́̈́̊̈́͊͆͒̈́͘a̸̢̨̛̛̤̤̦͓̯̺͈̱̯̥̝̞̜͙̟̿̎̒̐͂̑̆́̈̒̂̄̀͘͠c̶̡̛̺̩͇̩͙̦̙͇̱͕͔̤̺̎̈́̊͂̈́̑̽̚ͅs̶̨͉̬͔͕̺͓͒̾͝!

N̸̨̧͖̟̲̯̼͇͙͕͔̠̼̲̭͐͑͌̏̈́͌͊̀̈͋́́͗̏͘̚͠o̶̡͉̝̥̺̫̟͕͕͒̈́̏͗̈́t̴̡̪͚̔͒͑̏͋͊̏̄̂͝͝ ̶̢̜͉̦͖̺̝̣̹̻̼͍͌͋̂̈͑͑̓̕a̸̢̧̗̥̺͈͉̞̪̭͔͓͍͒ ̶̢̺͔̮͉͍͕̫͖͗̍͋͛͐̈́͗̽̎̃͊̌̔̒͂̚͜͝g̴̢̡̘̦̠̳̩̫̬̝͓̥͚̙̥͙̉̿̄́o̵̭̟̞̱̞̯͂͒͑̈́̐̉̇̕͜d̸̨̮̭̲̹͕͍͈̯̠̖̣̺̎͗͛ͅ.̵̛͉̘̱̖̹̦͚̳̜͈̼͚̼͉̈́̔̏̽̿̒̌́͆͜͠͠.̷̰̬̗̻͇͑́͂̉̓̀̍̊̚̕͝͝.̶̡̡̲̗̝͚̼̝̳̤͇̯̗͎̟̅̍͊͋̀̍͂̎͆͛͂͘̕

̵̢̢͓͚̳͙̱̪͍̘͔̱̣̣̻̆́̓̄͗̃̊̉̀̊͝ ̶̞͎̭̰̞̦͕͈̺̭͕͇̝͉̯̩̑̐̽̃́̃̃̀̈̂̆̑͋̎̾̕Ṉ̶̢̢̹͉̼͍̜͍̜̹̳̫̣͓͉͗͌̊̿͆͆̓̀̌̈͘̚ơ̶̯̯̻̩̲͖͌̈́̏̄͑̾͠t̵̮́̑̈̑̐͒̐͝ ̷̧̭̭̈̅͌̀̾a̴̼̝̖̲͓͊̿̌̊̓̒̿͑̑̋̂̒͜͝ͅ ̸͉͓̰̗̼̪̹̤͊̔̃̂̈̈͆̄̃͒̌́̈́͝ͅͅh̷͔̻͈͍̤̭̀͜u̴̝̩̲͕̜̰̰̣̗̜̪̰̒̀̍̇̀̎̿̇̊͝͝͝͝ͅͅm̴̧̼̞͔͈͚͕̻̣͕͔̬̿͗̒̒́͊̽͆̈́̽̓̕̕̕͜͝͝a̷̡̢̛̛͓͙̅̑̈́̿̍̇͗̇̿̀̈́̅̔̕͝ņ̵̢̪͔̞̝̞̼͔̭̒͊̌́̂̈́̔̓̚ͅ.̸̨̠̜̰͇̘̓̓́̈́̓͝.̷͈̖̱̙̘̮̋.̶͖̦̬̼̩̙̤̦̲̜̀̌̄̅͠͠

̸̧̰̃̂́͗̄̍̐̌͐̿͂͘͝͝͠ ̶̡̛̦̗̳̬̘͇̞̺̘̖͙̤̰̇̾͋̀̐́̈́̂͗́̓͋̌͘͜͝.̸̞͓͈͈͕̬̝́̂͋͑́͆̈́͆̌̚͝.̷̙̗̭̫̲̬̫́͛̂̄͘ͅ.̵̨̛̛̩͍͗̋͌̽̂͗̃̏͌̇W̴̡̗͓̖̗̮̮̘̣̠̹̥̪̠̮͌̔̄͋͗͛͋̐͜ͅĥ̵̛̪̟̮͈͈̭̜̈͊̀͘͘ͅͅa̴̧̨̧̛̜̙͚̩̼̳͕̣̒͗ẗ̴̫́̾͆͒̇̈́̈́̿͗͌̕͜͜͝ͅ ̴̨͇̖̳̱͔͆͋͑́̆̆̈́͑̏̐́̚͝͝͝å̷͇̂͌̉̀̄̿̂ŗ̴͍͈̖̙̯̮̟͓̯̻͊͂̂̈́̿̑͂͋e̶̢̢̘͉͓̝͉͈͑̎͑̀͊̒͊̈́̐̀̐̃̄̌̑͘ ̷͚͙͚͍̲̖̯̦̞̼͖̱̱͎̬̹́͜y̴̨̒̄̏̈̽̄́͌̀̒́͛͑̇̕̕ó̸̝̜̖̲̗̹̫̗̣̺̝̗͖̦̟͆̕ů̶͕͖͚̽̐͑̅̄͋̕͝.̴̡̡̣̯͚̩̫͈̹̜̞̰̫͈̩̖̓̒͌̽͜.̴̡̡̳̳͖̮̻̺̝̝͖̘̊.̷̗̦͈͉̼̑?̵̛̯̠͎̺̯͓̜̗̟̩͕̹̀̒͆̽͒́̾̊̒́

̷̩̣̮̠͊͑̊͒̔̏̕͘ ̵̨̨̛͇̲̟̘̹͍̜͎͍̻̑́͘̕.̸̝̜̺̳̬̼͚̺͍̩̠͇̰͎͒̅̋̇̈́̉͝.̷̧͎͉͎̲̑͋̈́̐̒͂̽̎̿.̵̢̧͔̪͓̭͕̮͓̜͎̪͓̹̑̇̋͑̂̓̀̋͌̇͆̒͊̋̀͝ͅ

̶̨̟̦̝̫̲̠̒͐͑̌͂͛̊͋́͊͜͝͝ ̶̥̙̝͎̤͈͈̰̞̠̄̈́̀̆͛́͐͒͑̑̾͛́͘͜W̸̛͈̻̻̙̮̬͚͇̦͎̫͔̼̘̙̄̈́̕ͅh̸̨͚̤̰̦͍̱̲̥̮̫̭̬̺̲̆̋̎̔̓͊̇͋̃̅ͅͅò̶͉̖̣̥̮̝ ̶̦̯͓̰̦̱̮̯̞̳͛̄͗̅͂̓͘a̴̞͈̫̖̞͗͗̿̈́͒̍̐̽̽̆̌̈́̏́́̚̕r̷̢̢̛̳̤̗̫͓̳̹͐̇͒̚͠ͅe̷̛͓̹̳̠̜̟͙͌̋̀̋̽̓̋̆́͊͒̎͜ ̶̨͕̭̩̦̦̰̘̦͚̗̘̥̾͋̇̓̎̉̏̓̿̾̌̏́͌̀͝ͅÿ̷̡̗̜͕̺̦́͋̅̒̌̂̎̊͒̄͑̈́͒͘͘̚ȍ̶͔͈͎̬͊̔̔̋̅̉͠͝ự̴̛̜͙͎̳͙̘͈͋̈͗̍͑́̎̄͗̕.̷̡̡̺͙̲̠͈̠̰͚̠͓͖̘̙̪̙̍̄̉̈́̑͋̏̄͘͠.̴̢̙̹̯̜͚̹̤̇̈͛̏̽̆̄̎̐̒̚͝.̶̧̝̗̱̪̹͕̞̽̿̎͂͘̚͝͝͝?̶̨̮̈̆͊͐̆̊͝ͅ

#oc #oc lore #zodiac #zodiacs #zodiac sign #zodiac signs #zodiac lore

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carebearmareee · 1 year

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heyyy <3 here for a matchup?? i remember trying to do one once, but hopefully you aren't the same person 'cus that'd be embarrassing 😳

ANYWAY. heres my totally aesthetic bio <3

— ( main three horoscopes ) cancer 🌞 gemini🌜& cancer ⬆️

— ( clothing style ) ( preferred since i can't rlly dress the way i want until i move out 😃 ) mixed?? a lot of fairygrunge. mmm fairygrunge <3 also punk vibes? kinder whore is VERY cool!! id like to look like a beat up babydoll who vomits black goo. 🥺

i also really enjoy regular fairycore, too!! victorian goth is gorgeous, and dark toned corsets r hot.

sometimes i like to wear lots of makeup, sometimes i just do thick mascara, babydoll lips and falsies <3 it's way easier since i burn out a lot.

not really a clothing thing, but i discovered this new (?) aesthetic that's called starflesh and OMG ITS COOL!

i don't have any piercings other than my ears, but when i can decide what to do with my own body, i plan on getting these ::

smiley

septum

both nostrils

snake bites!!

maybe dimples? ( is that what they're called? )

double eyebrows <3

tongue? ( kinda scared tho )

and some other unmentionables 😃

probs gonna get every ear piercing known to man

— ( shit that i LOVE ) hiking. as long as im not tired, and in the mood. crystal hunting is cool, whether it's in the stores or out near creeks. never find any pretty ones out in the wild, though :(

thrifting is cool!! i love going to my local mall and getting myself dolled up so i can flex on the old (bigoted)people.

most of the time im sulking in bed, though :') i also love going for drives!!! i usually end up listening to music though, and not wanting to talk. but maybe that's just with my dad, idk 😳

i consider myself spiritual? idk, it's been a while but it's been rotting my brain lately.

— ( music genre? ) like.. literally anything. nu metal, indie, dark and classic pop, rap and more. talking about music artists would be easier, sooo i really love all of these artists and maybe more!! ::

Tyler the Creator

Doja

Incubus

Korn

Slipknot

Limpbizkit

Lady Gaga

Citizen

Tame Impala

Evanescence

MAC DEMARCO (pls ilhsm)

Steve Lacy

Pink Pantheress

i don't want this to be too long, but yeah go figure :')

— ( extra ) my favorite crystals ( mostly in color ) are amethyst, citrine, tigers eye, jade and rose quartz!!

my favorite yuuri boy is probs seth. ( atm, i love almost all except jack. sorry jack.. :< ) i really connect to his character..

but obviously it's cus we both have mommy issues HSHSHS.

tbh tho, yan!finn has been on my mind as of late though. mmm <3 obsessive witch man.

my fav animals r bats, deer, frogs (i feel like most queer ppl do), foxes, BARN OWLS, cats, dogs and probs way more.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY LONG i have the urge to literally tell everyone everything abt myself sometimes.

no because i wanna be ur friend like what u seem so cool. dhakrhajfaisj ok i just need to know what fandom this would be for i don’t think u said it on there but maybe u did and i’m just being a little bozo lmao

HAVE A NICE DAY :))

#no one asked u mare 🤭

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maddiem4-writes · 2 years

Text

Reposado - Chapter 4

I felt pretty grateful that the only friend classmates I had for the next period were Bree and Caleb, and they were just kinda doing their sibling thing. I could tune out for social studies a bit and just process my feelings. Which I really badly needed to do. I couldn’t go through this again. Fuuuuuuuuck.

I did honestly feel poisoned. It was very early in the year that I realized that my deep bond with Cassie was…. well, a uh, a deep bond? Like… you know. That kind. And I’d spent months soaking in fear about it. Not all girls like girls. It’s a risk. And if I told her, even if it went nowhere and we were just friends afterwards… she’d know. She’d know I felt that way about her. And somehow, in my head, that went from “oh, there’s a scary uncertainty” to “I can’t afford to risk these low odds” to “I have to live as if the answer is no” to “god what is wrong with me” to, fucking somehow by god only knows what leap of logic, “I can’t be a lesbian unless Cassie is a lesbian.”

Which, to be clear, in all that time, I had still not even slightly disambiguated.

Fuck it all to hell.

No, I know that’s not actually how it works. Just… strong feelings act like stupid pills, alright? They switch off your common sense and your connection to reality, and it fucking sucks, and I hate it, and ohhhh god what I’d have given to feel Cassie caress my face. God dammit. And now I could feel it starting all over again. With Mara. Was anybody in the friend group safe from this bullshit?

…okay, Caleb was probably safe from this bullshit.

And to be fair, Mara was a pretty recent addition to our crew. It had always been kind of a fuzzy-boundaried group where people drift in and out of the habit of hanging out, with Cassie being the main constant, and Steph to a lesser degree. Bree and Caleb were mostly Steph’s friends. But Mara? She only started hanging out with us like 6 months ago. She was kind of in between groups, and whatever she was missing, it seemed like she found it with us.

She was sweet, and smart, and quiet, and pretty, and I think she maybe was into some witch shit even though it wasn’t her public aesthetic at all? You wouldn’t ever think she’s an extrovert in a large group, but then you’d talk to her alone afterwards, and she’d be all full of thoughts and observations and pet theories and observ- no, I said that one already. I did say observations. Right. Um. She was great. And she wore some very body-fitting tops that I really like and god, shut up. She was cute.

Yeah I was sunk on this one.

I slouched in my chair. Crushes are supposed to make you feel great, I think? But I was oh-for-two on that score. Inescapably losing at life. This would be a good moment to have some gravel to kick, if I wasn’t indoors, pretending to listen to American History, which is technically important but also objectively the worst kind of history. Just super lifeless by the time it hits a textbook. They should make it more like those American Girl books, which I didn’t have, but I get the concept of. That’s the real shit. Which is probably a very ironic thing to say. Well I’m still technically a teenager and I say stuff like it sometimes, so sue me for my cringe opinions.

It was a very long, slow hour, and I kept looping back something that wasn’t a thought, just an aimless urgency of use to nobody. At the end of that very long, slow hour, most of the students would file out of here, but me and like three others would stay. Maybe get up to stretch our legs. Different class, same place, we’d get an influx of students for health class… and god steady my structurally condemnable legs, because that of all classes is the one I shared with Mara.

Honestly, fuck smoking, what I needed was a flask to sneak in. That probably would have worked great.

#reposado #writing #maddiem4 #novel

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

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His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes....

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here” - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

#hdm #his dark materials #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #will parry #lee scoresby #hester #pantalaimon #jopari #john parry #lord asriel #serafina pekkala

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missmewts · 3 years

Text

1984 but the counsellors are on social media. thank you.

brooke thompson

she's that one girl that tries too hard

like 500 posts and 12 followers

listen, i don't hate brooke, i just hate that she's prettier than me

she's definitely obsessed with tik tok, and is constantly on it

but her for you page is literally all health and wellness

plus the occasional true crime

she's never been on anything aside from tik tok, youtube, and tumblr.

montana duke

okay miss social media influencer

brooke is definitely jealous of her follower count

she does a lot of makeup type things, but she isn't just makeup

she does a lot of collaboration type things with charities, especially for lgbt youth, abortion, women, and poc

it's her sense of humor that really got her famous

she has two pages on every social platform "m.d.makeup" and "m.d.bitch"

one is for her makeup, and the other is a variety of things from storytimes to challenges

she has literally everything

spotify (a "this is"), youtube, tumblr, pinterest, tik tok, twitter, instagram, etc...

if you were to scroll through her spotify playlists...

i love vagina (3hrs 23mins.)

and then some (1hrs 4mins.)

pov i want to fucking die (2hrs 45mins.)

if you were to scroll through her youtube videos...

i shat my pants

lgbtq+ support and help

i go on reddit and scar myself

cards against humanity +xavier, chet, ray, brooke, trevor

if you were to scroll through her pinterest boards...

my makeup looks

main character kind of feel

MONTANA NEEDS A GIRLFRIEND

MONTANA NEEDS A BOYFRIEND

late night mcdonalds runs

shes a pornstar

chet clancy

he has major social media platforms to follow athletes and health and wellness trainers

instagram, twitter, snapchat, etc...

he also has a fitness website. dieting, workouts, and shit.

he's one of those guys that post their green as hell lunch on their story captioned 'goals🌠🌠'

ray powell

i'm a ray slut don't @ me

he's definitely on the genz side of tik tok but he's too embarrassed to say anything

totally has pinterest and spotify for the vibe

and he has a ton of followers on both because of the aesthetic

but that's mostly it

he has several hundred matches on tinder.

he also totally has one of those playlist youtube channels

where he takes songs from his playlists, put them in videos over an aesthetically pleasing photo, and gets a couple thousand views

if you were to scroll through his pinterest boards...

it's christmas but you don't feel as excited as you used to (47 pins)

you fell not for them, but for the thought of them (83 pins)

they're fictional, but your heart doesn't know that (26 pins)

if you were to scroll through his spotify playlists...

you're a witch but they don't know that

it's the end of the world

the hero fell for the villain

xavier plympton

all he does is social media

literally, he does it all.

he's mainly famous for his porn, and his followers on pornhub and onlyfans transfer to his other medias

his tik toks are so funny

he does the occasional yt video

he's on twitter and tumblr 24/7

dm him, he'll probably respond right away

#ahs 1984 #ahs #1984 #social media #xavier plympton #montana duke #chet clancy #ray powell

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morningstar-descended · 4 years

Note

Here's a challenge for ya, 📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂, there should be at least 100 there for ya, have fun 😊- 🦀 anon

Mammon was an accomplished soldier in the Celestial Realm

Belphie used to be a little Lucifer Mini-Me when he was a young Angel

Lucifer would sing his siblings to sleep, Before

He didn’t tell his brothers about Lilith because he didn’t want them to interfere with her new life. It was hard enough for him not to.

Diavolo’s older brother, Beleth, has a scar covering the left side of his face from where Dia ground him into the dirt to try and get him to yield.

Their formal fight for the crown lasted three days.

Diavolo’s younger brother, Amaymon, is Asmo’s sugar daddy.

Diavolo’s Mom is also still alive, she has her own estate in another part of the Devildom. She can suplex him.

Lucifer will absently neaten up his brother’s clothes for them while he’s lecturing them.

Lucifer has fed demons and unruly Witches to Cerberus before.

Mammon has never had a partner in any sense of the word.

Satan was ‘born’ as a baby.

Asmo used to dress Satan up in little outfits when he was small.

Satan can repeat almost everything he’s read verbatim.

Lucifer has to double check that he knows where all of his brothers are before he can rest at night, unless he passes out.

All the brothers wore their hair long as angels. Lucifer’s the only one who’s never grown it back out since their fall.

It took Lucifer around six hundred years to develop proper feelings for Diavolo.

Lucifer is deathly afraid of Diavolo’s father.

Barbatos is possibly--not counting Diavolo--Lucifer’s only friend.

The Sport Beel plays is a type of Wrestling mixed with MMA and Capture the Flag. It’s played topless.

Lucifer will occasionally ask Levi to explain the plot of an anime or game to him if he wants to zone out for a while. He’s listening, but because following what Levi is talking about takes a lot of concentration, it’s almost like meditating.

Lucifer’s hair got its white / gray streaks when they lost Lilith.

Lucifer actually does have some wrinkles, he just hides them most of the time.

No matter how hard he tries, Lucifer just can’t get good at video games.

Lucifer will write out bits of sheet music when he’s bored.

Lucifer has more demon markings on his body than just the diamond on his forehead.

Lucifer’s hands are very scarred, mostly from dealing with small child Satan.

Beel’s sport is unnamed because in Infernal, it literally just is called “The Sport” since there’s only one.

Almost all of the siblings have physically torn an opponent to shreds and or consumed them. Asmo and Mammon are notable exceptions.

Satan went through a phase where he spoke solely in riddles.

Levi was hardcore into theater before animation became more of a thing. he still has a lot of opinions about it.

Belphie spent most of their early fallen years either half asleep, or completely asleep.

Beel is incapable of chewing gum or sucking on a jaw breaker properly. He impulsively swallows whatever goes in his mouth.

Lucifer has been summoned to the human world successfully only twice in his existence. He killed both summoners for the audacity.

The entire garden around the house of lamentation was of Lucifer’s design.

Mammon has the best control over his shape-shifting--able to stay in a false form for longer, and able to retain his humanoid form despite high emotions.

The brothers are, quite literally, Devildom Celebrities.

Diavolo has never kept a pet before.

Lucifer is ambidextrous, but prefers his left hand.

Mammon is left handed.

Gluttony demons tithe to Lord Beelzebub on his birthday in the form of whatever food they fixate on.

The first angel Lucifer killed after his fall was one he didn’t actually recognize.

The first angel Mammon killed was one of his friends from the Celestial Guard.

Lucifer will never forgive the other Archangels for turning their back on him.

Lucifer has only ever had two partners in any sense of the term in his entire life.

Beel used to be the smallest, before he hit his growth spurt and overshot all of them.

Lucifer swears almost exclusively in celestial, when he’s pissed off enough to actually swear.

Satan doesn’t really have any of Lucifer’s memories, but he retained the emotions based around them. It’s confusing.

Lucifer can cook just fine, but he can’t bake to save his life.

The Longest Lucifer has stayed awake without any rest was about a month. It wasn’t pretty.

Half of the time Lucifer says something funny it’s unintentional.

Most of the Devildom’s current infrastructure was pioneered by Diavolo’s father.

King Diavolo’s real name is Ba’al.

Lucifer can play basically any instrument that’s been invented, apart from electronic only ones.

Levi’s skill in painting could put any of the great masters to shame.

Lucifer isn’t a fan of a poultry, ironically.

The fact that they can get Belphie to wear his complicated RAD uniform everyday while being the Cardinal Sin of Sloth is a point towards how well Belphie controls his sin.

Being a shutin used to be cool and mysterious-- Levi mourns that social shift often.

Lucifer considers Levi the easiest brother to handle because he doesn’t really leave his room.

Mammon, while definitely being guilty of lots of grifts and get rich quick schemes, actually has at least five jobs on top of his stipend for being a Sin.

Lucifer has been trying to figure out how to kill those three witches for causing him problems by proxy, but he hasn’t figured out a legal way to justify it yet.

Amaymon is Diavolo’s youngest sibling. Lucifer can’t stand him.

Flower arranging is one of Asmo’s hobbies.

Asmo also has the best eye for interior design aesthetics, even if he uses them to make a room look... Like That.

For Centuries Lucifer couldn’t even begin to talk about his interests without Diavolo flooding him with related gifts. He’s gotten better about it since.

Lucifer and Diavolo’s relationship was purely physical at first.

Beel often uses the fact that his brothers think he’s stupid for his own gain. Most of the time it’s to get more food, but whatever works works.

Lucifer is completely fire proof now as a demon, inside and out.

He has nightmares of fire, though.

In one of the battles of the Celestial war, The Archangel Michael did his Signature “Step on Lucifer’s face/head trick” And Lucifer nearly took his leg off for it.

All demons can both purr and growl.

Lucifer’s back is heavily scarred from his fall and Satan’s creation both.

Mammon physically regenerates the fastest, and Belphie the slowest.

Levi, due to Envy’s ability to constantly and unintentionally buff the demons around him, is always helping his brothers in some small way whether he means to or not.

Beel still has specific nightmares of Lilith’s death, and will often crawl into Belphie’s bed to hold him after.

Satan never knew Lilith, but he’s emotionally attached to her because of the vague memories he inherited from Lucifer.

Asmo’s hair, if he grew it out, would be loosely curly.

All Lust type demons are Incubi / Succubi / Concubi.

Wrath type demons are the ones who cause classic hauntings.

All sleep paralysis demons are Sloth demons, though.

Pride type demons are the most prone to possessing humans in power, despite Lucifer having never possessed a human before.

Barbatos is actually a little bit older than Diavolo, but not by much.

Luke is basically Michael’s son.

Simeon is the younger brother of the Archangel Jophiel (the Angel of Beauty).

Asmo, if given the chance to defect back to the Celestial Realm, would seriously consider it.

Mammon acts like a fool, but isn’t one himself.

Belphie and Beel aren’t quite telepathic, but they always know where the other is, or if they’re in trouble.

The Cardinal sin of Wrath traditionally writes all of the punitive legislation in the devildom, so Satan is the one who writes out what crime gets what punishment.

The Devildom’s economy has never flourished so much before Mammon became the sin of Greed.

A good 60% of the work Lucifer does is paperwork that should actually be handled by one of his brothers.

Asmo’s painted his nails with his own venom before, and then used it to kill people who piss him off.

The only person Lucifer can accept losing to is Diavolo.

Lucifer isn’t a functional person until around 2 hours after he’s woken up. Luckily he tends to get up around 4:30a.m. / 5a.m. so when normal people have to interact with him, he’s mostly aware.

Mammon likes to over-saturate his foods with toppings and sauces, which is why Beel can’t stand his cooking.

Asmo likes the taste of straight vodka.

Lucifer once slapped another demon’s head clean off when they spoke back to him while he was addressing Diavolo’s court.

Lucifer and Diavolo’s first real “Date” was in the Royal Garden.

Any part of an Archdemon is worth a small fortune, as they’re rather potent spell ingredients.

If you talk shit about Mammon near a Greed type demon they WILL beat your ass.

Diavolo loved Lucifer on sight. Or, well, he loved the look of him.

#{ Mun Post }#Ask Meme #{ fuck you. never challenge me again ghdhghsdhg }#Anonymous #long post #dialuci

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maessian · 4 years

Text

SJM and S. Mahurin – Spooky Instagram Live event

So it wasn’t very informative, they mostly talked about ‘spooky’ things, and then talked about Serpent and Dove and witches in TOG, but nothing really deep. Here are some of the things that were said for those who are curious but don’t want to watch the hour long live stream: (mostly the direct quotes but with some paraphrasing as it happens to be 2am where I am)

--------------------------------------

[Live starts off talking about Phantom of the Opera, SJM’s scary experiences with the supernatural]

SJM: As soon as I met Lou I was like where have you been your entire life. […] You were unafraid to make her unlikeable and take her to male dominated places […] Lou and Aelin would be best friends – it would be scary but so much fun, they would leave cities in ruins.

SJM: I love your writing so much … The worldbuilding is so intricate and cool.

Shelby, about where Serpent and Dove came from (paraphrased): The idea came from outlander season 2, Loved witches by Roald Dahl

“I was really into Harry Potter before […silence…] everything awful happened.”

Sarah, about the Witches in the TOG series:

Came from Russian mythology – Baba Yaga, who has iron teeth in some legends [Shelby: it is an aesthetic]

SJM: there was a level of horror in those witches, but also empowerment. I was at a point in my life where I needed that character.

Manon and the thirteen became one of my favourite things ever – Manon walked into my head in two different scenes, one of them was listening to the hocus pocus soundtrack. The track where they take flight again.

Sarah Jessica parker has an orgasmic moment of getting back on her broom… image of witches unapologetically on their brooms…. And their brooms eventually evolved into dragons, because that’s how my brain works.

Back to Serpent and Dove:

Sarah J. Maas: Did Lou walk into your head as a protagonist?

Shelby Mahurin: I wanted the world to revolve around the whole dames blanche folktale. Lou walked into the story fully formed. Her voice was so loud, she was right there from the first page – I say the first page – I wrote the first chapter like 17 times. A common trope in YA is the best friend is the sassy fierce one, but what would that look like as the heroine instead?

SJM: That’s the same feeling I have of Aelin [keeps coming back to liking ‘Han Solo’ types of characters, and how that’s the type of character Aelin is]

Growing up there weren’t many stories about women who could kick ass … I wanted to write a heroine that was flawed … that’s why I connected so much with Lou – I loved that confidence, those hidden depths and secrets. Reading your book reminded me of why I loved reading and fantasy. The romance with Reid, the enemies to lovers thing – I love that trope so much.

SJM: Where did Reid come from?

Shelby: Reid took a little bit longer, since his point of view wasn’t originally in the book. Occupationally I wanted him to hunt witches. I also love opposites attract. I wanted him to be Lou’s polar opposite in everything. Those interactions when they’re on the page together are so much fun.

Sarah: You built the chemistry between them so well.

SM: I am working on Gods and monsters.

SJM: Holy shit! That is badass! A mic drop of a title)

SJM: Right now I’m between deadlines. Just turned in the first draft of Crescent City 2 a couple of weeks ago. A Court of Silver Flames should be off to the printer soon. I poured so much of myself into it. It was a story I started writing for fun years ago while I was still working on a Court of Wings and Ruins, so it was just a fun project […] it’s so close to my heart in so many ways. (also tells us about mixing up the lights in ACOTAR and CC fey lights/first lights in her bonus ACOSF scenes and her editor catching it).

Last question:

SJM: If you could cast one spell as a witch, what would it be?

SM: Pausing time, so I could finish my book.

SJM: I’d cast a spell so trump is voted out of office, our country becomes a healed and progressive place again […], and black lives matter […] (she was talking really fast I missed some of this - but those are the words she said)

[EDIT: Full quote: “I would cast a spell so that Donald trump is voted out of office and this country becomes a healed and progressive place again where science is real and we fight climate change and people recognise that black lives matter and trans lives matter and that Donald Trump can just go… he can go off to Russia for all I care. […] Sorry guys… but not sorry at all.”]

#anti sjm #anti shelby mahurin #I watched it so you don’t have to 😌#anti sjm behaviour

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asgardian--angels · 4 years

Note

Recommend some good folk metal music please

:D i never thought i’d see the day when someone actually wants to know more about the music i listen to *cracks knuckles* my time has come

I apologize in advance for this novel. Feel free to skip to the recommended tracks lol.

Most folk metal comes out of northern Europe (Finland, heavily) though you can find it all over the world (Hu Band comes to mind but I mean, it’s on every continent). I am one of those people with like, a small handful of favorite bands that I listen to mercilessly so I am sure that I am only representing a miniscule percentage of what’s available out there. What’s great is that folk metal is much more versatile than many other genres in its sound; the essence of folk metal is simply to 1) utilize traditional (or rather, in the sense of a metal band, non-traditional) instruments such as violin, accordion, brass ensemble, bagpipes, what have you, and 2) have lyrical themes which revolve around regional folklore, mythology, cultural heritage, or place (what I particularly like is a frequent reverence and respect for nature). Other genres of metal (death, black) have the second element but not the first, and tend to incorporate darker overall tones and consistently harsher or lo-fi vocal styles and sounds. Folk metal can be a gateway genre into metal and can often be quite hopepunk (if you will). Because of these criteria, the actual sound of folk metal can range from sea shanties to ‘spooky walk in the midnight woods’ to scathing social commentary to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SH

Basically you can find a range of styles within the genre that fit what you’re looking for, from those that have an orchestral, ballad feel, to things that border on death metal but have a hurdy-gurdy in there. There’s also a much higher percentage of female-led folk metal bands than other metal genres.

I’ll go through my top picks.

Turisas. These motherfuckers. My boys.

Turisas is based in Finland, but sing primarily in English (with occasional Finnish, a smidge of Greek and Swedish too). Four albums out to date, fifth in progress. Sound is absolutely fucking bonkers god tier shit, if I may say so myself. Every single song sounds like you’ve been transported into an Iliad metal musical. Heavy use of a full orchestra and choir, along with sick violin and accordion solos. Their lyrical themes focus heavily on ancient Greco-Roman and Viking military history - but before you raise any red flags, rest assured they’re liberal as fuck and trust me the tea is scalding when Mathias feels like making a Point about Then and Now. No seriously, I don’t know how to express the beauty and depth of his songwriting - Mathias Nygård is an incredibly talented composer, musician, and songwriter (nay, POET), and an extremely intelligent and down to earth guy. There are plenty of bands that are happy to write Viking songs about pillaging and glorious death in battle and all that (Alestorm comes to mind), those are a dime a dozen. Turisas makes history come to life in a way that transports you back in time and thrusts you into the living breathing world of the past. They deal with the horrors and tragedy of war from both sides, consequences and motivations, fears and pride and loss, home and family, despair and hope. They write songs about people, big and small, and their role in weaving the great tapestry of history. And the best part is that it’s informed - Mathias does his damn research and the tales he tells are rooted in fact. He brings them to life so we can experience what it must have been like for those real living people, with the goal of forcing us to confront our own selves in them. He’s a modern Homer, I shit you not.

Did I mention there’s a song about pirates that’s actually really complex and nuanced, about how the hypocrisy and vile colonialist deeds of emperors makes them no different than the criminals they persecute?

Or that they do a badass cover of Rasputin?? yeah?????

Anyway enough gushing. Their second and third albums (The Varangian Way, Stand Up And Fight) are consecutive concept albums that follow the story of the Varangian Guard (the legendary Viking battalion that defended Alexander the Great) so the songs are actually chronologically linked to tell this epic tale. It’s a fucking listen, lads. The Varangian Way is probably my favorite album. But all their albums are top notch.

My favorite songs: End of An Empire (this one comes for 2020 hard), Piece by Piece (AKA die fascists 2k20), Cursed Be Iron, Among Ancestors, Greek Fire, Miklagard Overture (you gotta earn this song tho, it’s the finale)

Good first listen picks/hits: Battle Metal, To Holmgard and Beyond, March of the Varangian Guard, Ten More Miles, One More

Finntroll. These other motherfuckers. My other boys.

Another big name in the Finnish folk metal scene. As you can see, their band revolves both aesthetically and musically around Scandinavian troll folklore. Yall weird elf-fuckers who like the really big ears? Here you go. Look at those ears. They’re good friends with Turisas. Both love their facepaint.

Musical style leans much more towards black and death metal influenced, with a heavier, fuller sound and growling vocals. But it’s an incredibly rich and creative aural tapestry, with layers of masterfully executed sound that’s a real delight to lose yourself in. Use of fiddle, brass, keyboard, accordion, and banjo, and strong folk melodies make their sound unmistakable and unique. They are known for their ‘black humppa’ beat, which basically gives the effect of feeling the primal need to stomp around loudly to their music. It’s great cardio. They also utilize orchestra in some great intro tracks. They know their stuff.

The majority of their songs are sung in Swedish (they do some English cover songs which are FANTASTIC holy SHIT), but don’t let that stop you. The mood and power and emotion of their music transcend language, and you can be sure the lyrics are about either trolls, witches, the dark woods, spirits, or something of that ilk. I think Swedish as a language works very well with this kind of music, and honestly having it in English would lose something.

They have been around a long time and so have many albums, but I personally have only listened to the last three which feature their current singer, Mathias Lillmåns, whom I adore. Those albums are Nifelvind, Blodsvept, and their recent release Vredesvävd (that i’ve had on repeat since I got it three weeks ago). I’m sure their other ones are great too, I just can’t make a personal recommendation since I haven’t heard them.

My favorite songs: Galgasång, Tiden Utan Tid, Ylaren, Skogsdotter, Två Ormar, Ett Norrskensdåd, Skövlarens Död

Good first listen picks/hits: Forsen, Under Bergets Rot, Häxbrygd, Trollhammaren (older song), Solsagan

I’ll go through these other ones a little faster, I haven’t heard quite as much from them but I do love them.

Korpiklaani.

Great, full folk sound, utilizes a lot of folk instruments including some less commonly seen ones like hurdy gurdy. Songs are mostly in Finnish but plenty in English too. Jonne Järvelä has a really unique voice that grows on you, but it’s not for everyone. The band started as Sami folk, and Jonne is trained in Sami yoik singing, which makes an appearance in a few songs. I prefer the Finnish tracks, as a lot of the English ones are drinking songs lmao. But again, really well-executed music with layers of sound that keeps you hooked. I haven’t heard enough of their discography to really recommend enough to cover everything.

Song picks: Minä Näin Vedessä Neidon, Metsälle, Ämmänhauta, Lempo

Moonsorrow.

Definitely a darker, black-folk band. Probably not a great pick if you aren’t accustomed to black metal - very long tracks (8-15 mins is standard), growling/shrieking vocals, a ‘thinner’ but encompassing wall of sound usual of black metal, but with the benefit of wonderfully entrancing dark folk elements and chants. It’s done really really well. Sung almost entirely in Finnish (apart from cover tracks). Lyrically, focuses on themes of Norse mythology, man vs nature and similar elements. Definitely one of those bands whose music gets you into a zone. I can lose serious time just putting a whole album on and letting my mind wander elsewhere. My favorite album is Jumalten Aika.

Song picks: Ruttolehto Sis. Päivättömän Päivän Kansa (my fucking FAVORITE), Suden Tunti (well known hit), and also uhh check out their cover of Non Serviam cause it’s a fucking banger

Other bands that I like what I’ve heard but really can’t say much about them, whoops - Tyr (from the Faroe Islands, great stuff, Faroese is a baller language), Ensiferum, Nightwish (female-led).... I’m open to suggestions. Like I said, there are folk metal bands all over the world, and each is intrinsically linked to a sense of place and cultural identity that makes them unique. I’d love to hear about more tbh.

#koschei-the-ginger #folk metal

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tights-orno-deal · 3 years

Photo

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? Danielle

Surname? Dennison

Middle names? Olivia

Nicknames? Dani

Date of birth? July 15

Age? 18

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? 5’2

Make up? Nothing crazy. She usually keeps it fairly natural.

Tattoos? A secret star on her thigh that only she knows about.

Type of clothes? A lot of black and pink and soft goth aesthetics.

How do they wear their clothes? She wants them to be comfortable and able to be moved around in.

Are they in good health? She’s in relatively good health, yes, but mostly thanks to age. She doesn’t work at it.

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do they overuse? She probably says “like” too often for not being a valley girl.

Do they have a catchphrase? Not that I’ve noticed.

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Optimist, 100%.

Are they introverted or extroverted? Extroverted, 100%.

Do they ever put on airs? Nah, what’s the use? Everyone makes mistakes, everyone looks dumb. You should own it and own those things that make you human.

What bad habits do they have? She has a real problem with not listening when people give her good advice.

What makes them laugh out loud? Most everything. She’s easy to get laughing.

How do they display affection? Soft touches, shutting up to listen to you.

How do they want to be seen by others? A badass bitch who takes no shit, lol. Really, just someone worth being around.

How do they see themselves? She likes who she is for the most part. She had always believed she was courageous, but the witches have flipped her view, unsure about what her pervasive fear of them means.

How are they seen by others? I think people see her as fun, wholesome, cute… she hates 2 out of 3 of those descriptors though, because she feels like people don’t take her seriously because of them.

Strongest character trait? Courage

Weakest character trait? Selfish

How competitive are they? Not really all that competitive

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? Depends on the day.

How do they react to praise? She has some sort of goofy response and a compliment back, shift the attention off her.

How do they react to criticism? It takes a moment, she doesn’t just accept it instantly, but she can eventually come around to it.

What is their greatest fear? Being unable to stop when something puts her family or Binx in danger.

What are their biggest secrets? I don’t really think she has secrets. She usually is fairly open about things. There are things she has yet to tell herself… but mostly she says what she thinks and feels.

What is their philosophy of life? The beauty of life is in the people you share it with. Choose wisely and be a person that can make their life beautiful as well.

When was the last time they cried? Probably at multiple points while Binx was missing.

What haunts them? She said, ‘idk ghosts?’

What will they stand up for? You, your dog, your dog’s cousin… she is willing to fight when someone needs it.

Who do they quote? Celebrities probably.

What is their sinful little habit? ‘It should be a sin to be this awesome’

What sense do they most rely on? Hearing

How do they treat people better than them? She likes to think that she treats everyone the same, but she is easily awed by people she thinks are great.

How do they treat people worse than them? Unless you move against her, she tries to treat you with respect.

What quality do they most value in a friend? Just love her.

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Obeying rules.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? She would be less afraid of the witches.

What is their obsession? All things witches. She thinks about witches, dreams about witches, reads about witches. She is unsure where the lines between terror, fascination, and envy are.

What are their pet peeves? When people don’t listen to her, especially her brother.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? Just her, her mom and dad, and brother.

What is their perception of family? She loves her family and depends on them, but she firmly believes that that same kind of family can be found in other places. It’s not all about blood.

Describe their best friend. Binx is certainly the yin to her yang sometimes. He’s deep and contemplative, made up by centuries of experiences and layers that she really is only starting to peel back. She feels their connection goes deeper than that of friends, though. This is her person, her soul mate in life. Her other bestie is Fran. Their immortality has allowed her to create a friend in them that you normally might not see with their vast age difference.

Describe their other friends. Dani’s type is apparently immortal hot men, and she is not complaining. She surrounds herself with them. Outside of that, when it comes to friends her own age, it’s more of a mix of personalities. She’s sweet, but mischievous, which allows her to be friends with people like Logan and Aurora and remain completely herself. She likes having a friend for all occasions.

Describe their acquaintances. Dani probably has acquaintances, but she’s quick to call you her friend, regardless of how the other person might see it.

Do they have any pets? She needs a new cat, preferably a regular one this time.

PAST AND FUTURE

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? I think her personality has been fairly steady throughout her life. She’s always been relatively upbeat and a troublemaker.

Did they grow up rich or poor? Middle class.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured.

What is their greatest achievement? I don’t know if she has one yet. In writing her, I like to take the mentality that until the moment the witches were released, her life was very ordinary. She wasn’t rich, or poor, or had anything big and dramatic happen to her. All her greatest achievements as well are yet to come.

What was their first kiss like? It was fine. Nothing to write home about.

What are their ambitions? She currently is really into learning about magic and really getting to a place of understanding of it. Partly she thinks it will help her fight against the witches, but beneath that, she hopes understanding magic will make it less frightening.

What advice would they give their younger self? “It’s going to be scary but it’s going to be worth it. Just be brave.”

What smells remind them of their childhood? Salt air

What was their childhood ambition? To be Doctor Dolittle

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? Oh, for sure. His name was also Max, like her brother, was the same age, but was always there to play with her.

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? When she thought Binx had left her.

What past act are they most ashamed of? Unleashing the witches onto the world. She wouldn’t take it back, because it brought so much to her life, but she is aware of the danger of it. It’s a complicated feeling that she struggles to navigate.

LOVE

Do they believe in love at first sight? I think she does in the way that most young people have an impractical idea of what love is, but she would say that she doesn’t believe in love at first sight though.

Are they in a relationship? Not at the moment.

How do they behave in a relationship? She’s all about the fun aspects of relationships. She loves just goofing off with the person, is constantly looking for excuses to be around them, trying to make them laugh and have fun with her.

When did you character last have sex? A couple years ago.

What sort of sex do they have? The inexperienced kind.

Has your character ever been in love? Nope

Have they ever had their heart broken? … probably, but only in like, having a deep crush on a guy who doesn’t like her back and how that feels really serious and earth-shattering in that moment when you’re young.

CONFLICT

How do they respond to a threat? She tells her army of hot immortal men… lol, she actually can get a little mouthy when she’s in danger. It’s her defense mechanism.

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue, but she’s not unwilling to fight with her fists. She never has, but she could.

What is your character’s kryptonite? If someone she loves is in danger, she would probably give the person whatever they wanted.

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Her cat.

How do they perceive strangers? She used to be very open with strangers, and to an extent, she still is. She’ll tell you her life story if you get her going. It doesn’t mean she is as willing to trust people as she used to be with the important things.

What is their choice of weapon? Flamethrower, if she’s being given the option. Who would pick anything else?

What living person do they most despise? The witches.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? Nothing serious, I doubt.

Where do they go when they’re angry? Dani is very much a pillow screamer. Her pillow, your pillow, if she gets pissed, no pillow is safe from being screamed into.

Who are their enemies and why? The witches. They might give a damn about Dani but she feels its her duty to keep people safe from them. She doesn’t know how to do that yet, but she’s learning. She’s ready to make them give a damn.

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is their current job? Student.

What are some of their past jobs? She once wore an awful hat and sold corndogs on a pier before they moved here.

What are their hobbies? She loves a good adventure as much as she loves digging into Howl’s collection of magic materials.

Educational background? Standard public education.

Intelligence level? Average.

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? She played soccer through high school and was decent enough at it to make the All-State team.

What is their socioeconomic status? Middle class.

FAVORITES

What is their favorite animal? Cat.

Which animal do they dislike the most? Monkeys because one pulled her hair once on vacation.

What place would they most like to visit? Egypt

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? The rare and elusive Binx smile

What is their favorite song? Whistle by Blackpink

Music, art, reading preferred? Music

What is their favorite color? Black

What is their password? Dani101was101here101

Favorite food: Pizza

What is their favorite work of art? She is not that discerning.

Who is their favorite artist? She only knows the biggies. That Michelangelo seemed to know what he was doing.

What is their favorite day of the week? Friday

POSSESSIONS

What is in their fridge? Leftover pizza, bottles of water, a thing of whiskey hidden behind some Cokes.

What is on their bedside table? Alarm clock, phone charger, lamp

What is in their car? Phone charger, some takeout trash in a garbage bag

What is in their purse or wallet? Wallet, phone, some treats for when Binx is in cat form, and also candy for both of them when he isn’t

What is in their pockets? Keys

SPIRITUALITY

Do they believe in the afterlife? She would have said no before now, but she’s at this point where she really doesn’t know what to believe about anything. She’s searching for the answers to these questions that will help the world make sense to her again.

What are their religious views? Searching.

What do they think heaven is? If there is a heaven, it is probably pretty close to the Christian version – but she would also tell you she really doesn’t know what other people believe besides so she might not be the best to ask.

What do they think hell is? Fire.

Are they superstitious? I think she’s probably fairly superstitious at this point in her life. If magic is real, then all bets are off on what else is or is not.

What would they like to be reincarnated as? Something cool, like a falcon.

How would they like to die? Quick and painless, please.

What is your character’s spirit animal? Probably a chipmunk or something along those lines.

What is their zodiac sign? Cancer

VALUES

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Abandonment

What is their view of ‘freedom’? I highly doubt she’s given this much thought. Just being free to do what you want.

When did they last lie? Maybe a couple days ago… little white lies, nothing serious.

What’s their view of lying? If something is serious, it is best not to.

When did they last make a promise? Earlier today? She throws promises around like softballs.

Did they keep or break their last promise? Keep. She always tries to keep them.

DAILY LIFE

What are their eating habits? I mean, probably not great. She’s a college student, so a lot of Ramen and pizza.

Describe their home. Just an average middle class home. Her own room that’s done up with posters and black and purple.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Clutter hoarder.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Coffee.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Lay around in her room with Binx or at Howl’s shop.

What do they do on a Friday night? She loves a good party.

What is the soft drink of choice? Dr. Pepper

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Whiskey and coke (see: what’s in her fridge)

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? She loves Halloween and a great monster costume.

Are they comfortable with technology? I would say she has the average teen grasp of technology.

If they could save one person, who would it be? Binx or a member of her family

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Howl seems the most capable

What is their perception of redemption? Everyone is capable of redemption, but she’s aware that giving people that second chance is easier said than done.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Put it all in a room and then roll around in it.

What is their favourite fairytale? Jack and the Beanstalk

What fairytale do they hate? Snow White

Do they believe in happy endings? She believes some people get them and hopes that she’s one of the lucky ones that does.

What is their idea of perfect happiness? She’s sitting in a room, surrounded by the people she loves, all laughing, all talking, all enjoying each other.

What would they ask a fortune teller? She would be completely unable to narrow that down. She’d just be like, tell me everything you see!!

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Dinosaurs, baby!

What sport do they excel at? Soccer

What sport do they suck at? Basketball

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Invisibility

#watask

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ink-poisoning · 4 years

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Fantasy AU Slenderverse Headcanons (Part 1/?)

i said i was gonna fucking do it and look at that, i did

so obviously, patrick is a vampire

those teeth oh my god

also he totally loves wearing a long flowy cape for the aesthetic

boi is a Drama Queen(TM)

probably only feeds off mortals once in a while, tries his best not to kill them

i’m gonna say he only needs to feed like once a month/every couple months

mostly goes after animals

habit is a forest god

i guess just kinda think Pan, the greek nature god, but like. really fucking chaotic

he can absolutely play the pan flute, he’s really good at it

speaking of Pan, Habit also has some animal features

he can change his appearance at will but his favorite thing to do is give himself the lower half of a spider or a snake

he thinks it’s funny to scare people with it i don’t make the rules okay

milo and noah are witches, they come from a large family of spellcasters

milo is A Huge Fucking Nerd by the way

he’s the really organized one

helps noah out of all the trouble he gets himself into

noah is the one who gets in trouble all the time for using his powers for dumb shit

like breaking dishes by trying to wash them without his hands

or dying someone’s hair as a prank but then forgetting how to change it back

should i make michael and patrick twins? too late i already did

michael has a second sight

he can see and talk to spirits

not just the dead, but pretty much anything that most people can’t see

glamours and illusions don’t work on him

even though they’re twins, patrick was turned, not born a vampire, so michael’s not a vampire

tim’s a werewolf

he was turned as a child, just like patrick actually

before he met brian, jay, and alex, he pretty much fit the “lone wolf” thing to a tee

but now he’s got some of the first friends he’s ever had, and while he’s still not great at expressing his feelings or opening up to people, he’s working on it

brian is an air spirit

he comes from a big family, but he’s one of the youngest of a lot of siblings so he’s used to having to really speak up to make himself heard

always kind of worries that people are ignoring him or that no one’s listening to him, since he always feels like he has to work harder to be heard over everyone else

tim, alex, and jay are there for him though. they always listen to what he has to say. he appreciates that they always make him feel that his opinion is valued

so i’m not done, but i’m struggling a little with the rest so i’m posting this as a part 1 and then i’ll post the rest later

#fantasy au #slenderverse #alternate universe #tribetwelve #everymanhybrid #marble hornets #mlandersen0 #headcanons

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amratsu · 4 years

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alright these girls have haunted me for about a whole month now time to break it all down for anyone vaguely interested in them

hololive/vtuber 101 below the read more

THE FUCK IS HOLOLIVE?: An idol agency except all of its roughly 20 or so girls are youtube streamers who have their identity protected by a live2d avatar. They recently had a very fun live concert and all of them have or will have 3d models, but the majority of content is just them streaming whatever's their fancy at the time. (As of 2/17/2020 a lot of them play a lot of ARK, thank Coco for that) Therefore, they're part of the new form of niche culture called Vtuber.

THE FUCK IS A VTUBER?: Virtual youtubers. Like a normal streamer but, again, live2d portrait instead of their actual face. That's basically it. Content is about as varied as any other youtuber.

ALRIGHT, WHO WE GOT?: Hololive's split into OG Tokino Sora, the girls alongside her who are also primarily 3d, and then 'generations'. Just plug in their names and you'll find their channel easy. Again, variety differs between all the girls, but expect a lot of Nintendo games, chat streams, karaoke, and Minecraft across the board.

-Tokino Sora OG mom slash idol, debuted all the way back in 2017. Probably the only proper idol in all of Hololive. Warm, friendly, relaxing. She mostly does 3d variety streams and song debuts so she's hard to follow without advanced japanese.

-Roboco(-san) Pose happy killer robo with a notably smokey voice and calming demeanor. Plays a large amount of minecraft and first-person games in general; recent streams include ARK, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon remaster, Apex, and Fortnite.

-Sakura Miko ELIIIITE MLG miko idol with a tendency to swear a bit. High energy, fully embraced 'press f', gives herself sunglasses during streams, great friends with Pekora. Also notably into eroge. Did a full playthrough of Papers Please lately and is one of the most addicted to ARK (21 streams at around 4-5 hours each.)

1st Generation -Yozora Mel Sleepy vampire with the occasional killer instinct. Soothing, gentle, kind of lewd. Very much into nintendo games with Smash, Ring Fit, SwoSh, and Mario Kart being her latest content, but she's a little slower with the output. Part of the lewd blonde club with Aki, Haato, and Choco, who were demonetized until recently.

-Aki Rosenthal Cyber elf with detachable twin tails. Pretty similar to Mel in disposition, though less sleepy and more...I want to say 'fantastical'. Recently gained popularity due to her buck naked superhuman beefcake character in ARK, with Kerbal, Go Home, and some ASMR rounding out the rest of her content.

-Natsuiro Matsuri Eternal 17 year old cheerleader from the class next door, Matsuri is a high energy raging lesbian who's also a complete sweetie. Her infamous bandaid clip is what got a lot of western fans into Hololive. Plays a wide variety of games but also twitcasts at random times of the day like when she's in bed or in the bath, just to chat with her viewers about what's on her mind. Well loved.

-Akai Haato The ESL transfer student, girl next door, Haato is, well, exactly that. Commonly traveling for studies, Haato is a bubbly girl with a fine sense for aesthetics; you'll catch her making elaborate builds in Minecraft or playing visual novels during streams, along with a smattering of other games. Notable in that she's the only girl that'll do purely English streams, likely to help with her own education. Also kind of a baka.

2nd Generation -Minato Aqua Disaster masochist maid who's actually stupidly good at video games sometimes. She's both mischievous and hard working, massively popular in China, and, again, stupidly good at games. Soulsborne speedruns, PUBG, ARK (also one of the most addicted), Minecraft (seeing a pattern?), League if you catch her bilibili streams...but she's also the one who will spend a stream calling the other girls and asking them to bully her. Wild card gremlin.

-Murasaki Shion Genius mage who doesn't do a lot with her magic. Pretty well known for her 'neeeeeee', with a distinctly smug avatar/voice. Pretty good at games too, with a variety of Pokemon, retro games, Minecraft, Smash, horror, Mario Kart, etc. Excellent singing voice too, would recommend her covers.

-Yuzuki Choco The totally-not-a-succubus demon nurse at your highschool, Choco embodies :sweating:. Obviously she's lewd, but there's also a silly and petulant side to her that's fun to watch too. ASMR is her specialty. She's also, surprisingly, really into Dead By Daylight, so if that combination sounds fun to you hit her up.

-Oozora Subaru If Haato is the girl next door, Subaru's the bro next door. A very down to earth but energetic and sporty tomgirl, she recently spent three streams and sixteen hours on trying to take down Sans. Other recent things include Live A Live, The Witch's House, and GTA. Refreshingly easy to relate to compared to the other girls sometimes.

-Nakiri Ayame Hello, honored humans~ Hololive's millenium old oni. Has a peculiar way of speaking, especially in her pronouns, which lends a certain charm if you can got on board with it; happy go lucky, easy to like, and really cute on top of all that. Recently recovered from sickness (as of 2/26) so was the last to get on the Ark craze, she's actually very fond of multiplayer games as a way of 'getting to know mortals'. Apex Legends, Mario Kart, Splatoon, etc.

GAMERS: A sort of generation on its own, and also a kind of weird designation when all the girls game so frequently. Oh well!

-Shirakami Fubuki Fox. Not a cat. Super cheerful, makes a lot of weird noises that people turn into youtube poops (that she encourages), and also a helluva gamer. Plays plenty of battle royales, ARK, and of course Nintendo/Minecraft stuff. Infamous for her absolute feral hunter instincts in Project Winter, where she commonly massacres the entire map on her lonesome when she's the traitor.

-Ookami Mio Mom wolf who has to play tsukkomi (straightman) to basically all of Hololive sometimes. Which makes it all the more hilarious during her semi-common charisma breaks, like during Haato's recent English Exam stream. Has been into EDF, Pokemon, Ghost Trick, and Splatoon lately.

-Nekomata Okayu The sleepy smug cat with the most chill personality. Notably very, VERY close with Korone, and in general kind of a playboy in general. Never denies it or any of her myriad transgressions though. Her Mother 2 run has been fun recently, but really you could just tune into her frequent chat streams and relax that way.

-Inugami Korone Dog. An oddball who kind of just goes at her own pace, playing all sorts of weird games like Nyanpo (the pokemon prototype) and weird PS1 retro games. Shows a disturbingly violent side sometimes; her ongoing Blasphemous run and recent RE4 runs have shown how much she's into that kind of stuff. But also she's still a dog, so really don't worry.

Inonaka Music: -AZKi AZKi is closely associated with Hololive but is really more of her own thing, being even more idol than Sora is. Doesn't stream much if at all, has her own album out, does music collabs more than anything else, etc. Helluva singer though.

-Hoshimachi Suisei The vtuber idol who's totally not a psychopath, and totally a goddess at tetris. Like Fubuki, made a name for herself with her psychotic rampages in Project Winter, and also very much unfazed by horror games. Really fucking good at tetris too, doing 98v1 streams lately in Tetris 99, and a godly songstress too. Her karaoke streams are to die for.

3rd Generation: Also known as Hololive Fantasy. These girls are particularly close to each other. If you can find translated clips, I definitely recommend their host club streams where they compete in seducing other Vtubers. (Yes. That's serious)

-Usada Pekora AH^HA^HA^. You'd think she was a cute rabbit, but no! It's a Tewi level shitposter combined with some legit video game skills. She likes playing the heel deliberately just for shits and giggles, like when she nearly walked off with Miko's Nether Star. She's in fact very close to Miko, their relationship being both great friends and great rivals. Definitely one of the most addicted to ARK too; she's been making headway in conquering the ocean.

-Shiranui Flare Handsome half-elf archer, Flare's the designated tsukkomi of the third generation. She's definitely the most down to earth of them, charismatic to boot, and does as she pleases with a relaxed personality and husky, smokey voice. Very very VERY close to Noel. You'll find some really fun playthroughs of various action games like Dark Souls, Bayonetta, and Sekiro on her channel, and thanks to her picking up game mechanics fast they're fun to watch for anyone.

-Shirogane Noel Knight Captain of the Shirogane Knights, Noel's...kind of an airhead, actually. But she's definitely a pleasant, softspoken sort of person who's incredibly relaxing to listen to. Also a big eater, you'll hear her talk about beef bowls and muscles a lot. Just try not to stare too much at her 'pectorals.' As mentioned, VERY close to Flare (they just had a two day long date to a ryokan). Plays whatever with no focus in particular.

-Uruha Rushia The cute, soft, innocent apprentice necromancer, Rushia occasionally comes out of the gates roaring with rage filled screams before chilling out. An absolute cutie though, who loves her fans very much (though really every Hololive member does), her attempts to be cool and reliable lend to some great comedy. She's got a great singing voice if you can find one of her bilibili streams, and otherwise plays a wide variety of things.

-Houshou Marine A~hoy~. The completely safe for work, modern, not-cosplay eternal 17 pirate...and everything I just said was a lie. Most of it anyways. Marine's a riot of a lady with an incredibly dirty mind and dirtier motor mouth, great voice acting ability, and knack for art that she'll happily show off (among other things). Definitely one of my favorites, you'll find plenty of chat and art content on her channel, along with some of the most Ark addiction and a full array of Touhou game playthroughs.

4th Generation: Hololive's newest five girls, it's been a month and change since they debuted. They're notable for working together on some of the most wild content Hololive's put out so far, all helmed by a certain dragon. But we'll get to that.

-Tokoyami Towa The little devil that does whatever she wants, Towa's known for a couple of other things at this point: refreshingly honest personality, Pokemon playthroughs with an eclectic choice in team comp, and her charmingly atypical tomboy voice (though her mic's not amazing). Great singer, super funny if you can find the rare translated clip of her, and was an absolute menace at the recent Hololive werewolf/mafia game. How she managed to fake being a Seer from day one and nearly win, I'll never know.

-Tsunomaki Watame Hololive's bouncy sheep. Ram? Something like that. A very girly, friendly, lightly ara-ara personality, she's an honest and open with her feelings sort of girl. Earnest laughter at chat and games, real emotional tears while watching the live concert with her generation mates, Watame's a total sweetheart who streams a bit of music everyday as the pre-show to Coco's Morning Shitposts (official name). She's also gotten very close to her senpais in some regards...but above all she likes singing, chilling out in Minecraft, and recently playing through a couple Kirby games.

-Himemori Luna If you want to see a completely innocent cinnamon roll looking character say things like 'ass' and 'don't f*cking take crystal m*th', Luna's your gal. Her high pitched, almost childlike voice takes a bit of getting used to but she's a sweetheart that just has fun no matter what she's doing. But she'll also say a bunch of really funny shit while doing it just from sheer juxtaposition of her voice/appearance and the vocabulary. Surprisingly good at video games too.

-Amane Kanata PP Tenshi. Perfect Pitch, Powerpoint...Kanata's a bit of a sheltered honor student sort of girl who has an incredible vocal range, so much you'd be forgiven for thinking she was a professional voice actor or singer. She loves playing along with jokes even if she doesn't get them some times, and is really close with Coco. If not for said dragon she'd be the biggest memelord in the 4th generation, but alas; her channel has lots of collabs with fellow members and a series of cute 'research' videos on the various generations of Hololive. Unfortunately untranslated though.

-Kiryuu Coco The one, the only, the President of Nishinari herself, Coco has been a force of nature since she debuted. Her vulgar sense of humor, rapid fire jokester nature, fluent English speaking, and complete conversion of Hololive to the wonders of dinosaur taming in Ark has made her one of the most subscribed girls in a matter of weeks. Every day at 6am JST or 1pm PST, she does a quick 20 minute gig called Coco News (officially translated as Coco's Morning Shitpost) where she reports on the various ongoings in Hololive. This ingeniously brings attention to the silly crap everyone's been up to, really fostering a sense of community between the girls you don't see elsewhere, while also being a riot to watch as she roasts everyone for their silliness (with full permission). Other notable memes include her stalwart boycotting of Nintendo Switches, her desire to fund a Hololive house, and her recent Hitman 2 run.

#Hololive #Virtual Youtuber #Inonaka Music

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clexa--warrior · 3 years

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There’s a new group of villains on Fear The Walking Dead.

Well not entirely new. These are the same people who’ve been scrawling “The end is the beginning” everywhere. The same people with the submarine who are looking for Morgan who took the Magical Key from the bounty hunter way back at the beginning of Season 6.

I admit, I’m just kind of tired at this point. Tired of all the bullshit and bad writing and the tedious characters and the predictable stories. Tired of the parade of mediocre villains. Bone weary. And yet here I am, still reviewing this damn show.

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane, shall we?

TV’s Greatest Villains

At the beginning of Season 5, after the Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show was taken care of at long last, we got a new group of bad guys who . . . just wanted their warehouse back? And directions to an oil refinery?

Truly, these were now The Most Horrible Villains Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever.

Logan (played by a woefully underutilized Matt Frewer) was the head honcho of these bad apples and he fooled Morgan’s group into flying a plane they didn’t know how to fly far, far away to help some strangers in another part of the vast continent of Texas. Then he . . . moved back into his warehouse! The bastard.

After half a season of trying to fix the plane so they could fly back across the Pacific Ocean (which we all know separates the two halves of Texas) Logan tries to pretend like he’s a decent guy and fools the Morganites into showing him where the oil refinery is. Dastardly Logan! Then, just when Morgan and Logan decide that their names are similar enough that they might as well be friends, the Rangers show up!

They show up on horses with rifles and expertly kill Logan and every single member of his crew but for reasons (reasons!) they spare Morgan and the Morganites. It turns out that Logan was working for the evil witch queen of Lawton, Virginia—Truly The Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever (Seriously). She is so evil that she kills the people working for her, who helped lead her to the oil refinery, and spared some people she didn’t know who weren’t loyal to her at all for reasons.

Yes, you heard me. Reasons! You don’t get to know the reasons. That’s not how scripts work. Scripts are supposed to be confusing, opaque and riddled with plot holes and inexplicable character choices.

Anyways, Virginia and the Rangers with their horses and their cowboy hats and their idyllic Texas aesthetic become the new Big Bads sometime in the second half of Season 5. Morgan and Friends make a PSA documentary to make sure anyone wandering from gas station to gas station is able to know who to call (GHOSTBUSTERS!) if they’re in trouble (which, like, yeah it’s a zombie apocalypse) because Morgan really wants to make up for all the bad things he’s done and so do all his friends.

Virginia is very mean, though, and so she makes a PSA, too, and that pisses Morgan off so bad that he takes his people far, far away to an abandoned Western-themed park-town filled with zombies and they make another PSA on the way that’s even more amazing and magical but a dude dies making it, marking the Best Walking Dead Death of All Time in the process. Seriously a dude decides it’s so important to film a selfie shot for the PSA that he dies when a bridge that’s collapsing surprisingly collapses! And then everyone is very sad!

Then, uh, after a spell at the new town that has no resources or water because it’s a theme park town instead of a real town, Wes and Alicia paint some stuff and June and John Dorie get married and Daniel plays some guitar and sings and Frank Dillane is like “Holy shit I’m so glad I bailed on this show” and then Virginia comes because Morgan calls her because instead of walking somewhere else they decide they should call the Evil Witch Queen Of Lawton so she can rescue them by splitting them all up (even Skidmark the cat!) and then the season ends with Morgan getting swarmed by zombies but don’t worry he’s still alive and they’ll tell us as much in a trailer that comes out before Season 6 because AMC is criminally addicted to spoiling their own shows for no reason on social media and . . . and . . .

Somewhere between Season 5’s finale and Season 6’s premiere AMC and showrunners Ian Goldberg and Andrew Chambliss must have put their heads together with Scott Gimple and decided that the Rangers and Virginia were actually super dull villains, just like the last few villains (I skipped the whole Vultures plot because they were actually so stupid they put the stadium under siege but still let Madison and co. go out scavenging because somehow they never read the Siege 101 manual or something).

Anyways, for reasons that must be obvious by now, somebody must have pointed out that Virginia is not a very good villain after all, partly because she’s just not that convincing but mostly because she made a goddamn copycat PSA and someone thought that was actually a cool story because there is no God and life’s not fair and this is also why we can’t have nice things, son.

And they must have realized that the Rangers are a like a cartoon version of what might happen in Texas after a zombie outbreak (just compare this clown show to the far more realistic Vatos gang from Season 1 of The Walking Dead). All these realizations must have felt strangely repetitive after what I can only imagine were similar revelations about Martha, the Vultures and Logan. So many revelations, so little useful insight or meaningful changes!

The Believers

In any case, they had June kill Virginia after a weird series of events that also saw one of the only good characters left on this godforsaken show get killed by yet another brat, and came up with The Believers, a group almost entirely inspired by The Monkees. These totally realistic folk live underground where they grow crops and embalm zombies and talk about how you need to be able to “see” when you look at this one creepy zombie they have entwined in vines in their basement. They’re led by a guy named Teddy played by John Glover who must really be down on his luck to take a role on this ridiculous show, though he’s actually creepy as a villain so that’s something. But no, I’m not going to feel any hope or optimism because fool me once shame on me, fool me again and George W. Bush, man. He has something to say about this.

Wes and Alicia and Al and Luciana all find their way to these people. I honestly can’t remember how they found them, but they show up to scout things out. They get interviewed like we’re back in Alexandria. Things go bad when Wes runs into his long-lost brother and ends up killing him after a scuffle over a gun. Wes’s brother has had a little too much of that Kool-Aid if you know what I mean. Wes isn’t too shook up about it. Remember when the entire brothers Dixon conflict between Merle and Daryl played out over the course of one single episode of The Walking Dead? Yeah, me neither.

Luciana says stuff because she’s still on this show for some reason. She says stuff a few times and people say stuff back to her. Al checks an embalmed zombie with a helmet on thinking it might be her lover girl from Season 5, because you totally embalm zombies with their helmets still on, but it’s not. Boy I was really worried there for a second!

Alicia sets the embalmed zombies on fire so they can get away and the others escape but Alicia doesn’t and then she has to have a whole entire conversation with Teddy and it’s pretty damn awkward when she tells him “You wanna kill me? That’s not gonna happen.”

Teddy’s like “whoa damn I was going to kill you but now that’s not going to happen crap” and Alicia’s like “So there, Teddy. You jerk face with your crazy-man beard.”

He knows something about Madison somehow. And he wants to “save you, Alicia” but “I don’t need saving” she tells him and then he talks in more cryptic circles. Teddy’s been looking for someone like Alicia for a long, long time and she’s like “listen old man at least I got some lines this episode!” which, to be fair, is true.

THE END. CREDITS ROLL.

Verdict

Yes, I am clearly mocking just about everything about this show. But I didn’t come up with this crap. I didn’t come up with Martha and the ethanol, or the plane and the beer-balloon, or Totally Pointless Logan, or Ginny and her boring ass cowboys. Maybe Teddy will be a better villain than all these. To be fair, he is a better villain already in a lot of ways. Then again, the bar set by the Vultures, Martha, Logan and Virginia is not very high. It’s so low, it’s less a bar and more of a speed bump.

So while Teddy is far more intriguing than the rest, and it’s even possible that Glover’s brief appearance here in this episode was better than the sum of all the other villains in this show since Season 4, I imagine they’ll find a way to screw him up also and then, as soon as he’s worn out his welcome, replace him with some other group of bad guys. The Shouters, a group of post-apocalyptic crazy people who wear zombie faces and shout at each other really loud, led by a bald woman named Alphapha.

Here’s the thing.

We need more than just Good Guys vs Bad Guys. There are other struggles to work with in fiction. Friction between the group that causes realistic, compelling internal strife. Survival against the elements and just the struggle of surviving in a world laid low by a pandemic, maybe without creature comforts like walkie-goddamn-talkies. Or perhaps a compelling story about a survivalist group at odds with a Native American tribe over water rights, whose intertwined family histories are marred by murder and revenge, where our heroes find themselves torn between both sides of a bloody fight they know very little about.

Yeah, what a notion.

Like I said at the very top of this review, I’m tired. I’m tired of Fear The Walking Dead. I’m tired of the same crap happening over and over again, another absurd bad guys who ultimately make the same fatal choice: They mess with Morgan Jones. NOBODY messes with Morgan Jones.

Maybe Morgan can make a PSA about how mean and delusional Teddy is and then Teddy can make a PSA about how The End Is The Beginning, Actually, Morgan You Twit. It’s just all nonsense at this point and it has been since the end of Season 3. We aren’t dealing with actual stories about real people. We’re watching a cartoon with two-dimensional cartoon villains and a bunch of uninteresting flat characters. Except a cartoon would be more fun.

What is the point of this show now? It’s like a goofier version of The Walking Dead, which also suffers from too many villain groups at this point and too many characters but not this level of crappy writing (usually).

Let me predict the plot for the remainder of Season 6 and likely part of Season 7 if AMC is actually going to let the current showrunners continue driving this show into the ground:

Teddy wants the key from Morgan so he can use it to activate the nuclear bombs on the nuclear sub that’s in the middle of Texas (because Texas, you recall, is separated by the Pacific Ocean which has dried up because ZOMBIES and the sub is there now). He wants to nuke the planet because he wants to save everyone because they’re weak probably. From this nuclear wasteland, new life will spring eternal and his cult—well protected in their underground parking garage with their cute little gardens—will be the new rulers of the world. Or at least of Texas which—we know because of geography class—accounts for approximately 57% of Earth’s land mass.

Look, I’m sorry. I’m really truly sorry but if this show continues to be a joke I don’t know why we should take it seriously. A mocking review if only fitting for a show that continues to make a mockery of itself. AMC has the resources and the wherewithal to produce a better zombie show and quite frankly audiences deserve one. There was nothing fundamentally awful about “The Holding” so I’m honestly not fully sure why I’m in such a snarky mind frame, but there was nothing very good about, either, and it’s just plain as day to me that they’re already falling into the same traps they keep falling into over and over and over again. Meet the new bad guy, same as the old bad guy. It’s all so predictable.

Because they don’t really learn from their mistakes, or because even if they do they just don’t know how to course correct. That’s the problem when you just don’t have much talent but nobody steps in and says “enough is enough!”

Because seriously, my droogies, enough is enough already.

#ftwd #erik kain #i just read the reviews #i may watch this one because reasons and adc

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