#literally broke my heart so did

[starzalign]

Me and FKA twigs are friends in another universe. I just adore her music and sound. I relate so much to it its crazy

#fka twigs #cellophane #literally broke my heart so did #home with you #starzalign #literally kinderd souls

[butchdiaz]

eddie diaz is the archer thanks for coming to my ted talk

#its here!! eeeee #literally did nothing else but this for a week cause i had covid so go show her some love :') #she broke my heart and my laptop #911 edit #911 fox #911 abc #lol have we decided on a tag #911 #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #taylor swift #abby is making #my vids

[cerise-on-top]

Been really into gardening, so what about Nikolai and König with a gardener s/o? Would they be interested in helping out, or have a specific favorite type of plant?

(I love love LOVE rambling about plants, they're so cool once you get to know them!! I blame my mom entirely since she has a green thumb)

(Also, do you have a fav kind of flower? I personally love hydrangeas)

Plants are really cool, though! Hydrangeas are very pretty, I think I've seen some here and there! I personally adore lisianthus, though! They're absolutely gorgeous! Now I can't help but wonder if I could grow some someday when I move out, haha!

Nikolai and König with a Gardener!S/O

Nikolai: I do believe that he has a garden somewhere near his house only he knows about, where he grows vegetables. He loves having his own little garden, just that little bit of space that no one can take away from him with which he can do just about whatever is nice. He especially likes tomatoes, they’re nutritious, healthy and very delicious, as well as easy to cook. Nikolai is a pretty good cook, so he knows how to utilize tomatoes to their full potential. He has tried to grow flowers as well, though. He’s made some good success with sunflowers, in fact he still has some in his secret garden. So he absolutely knows how to take care of a garden, he finds it relaxing even and would love to help you out a bit, if you let him. Do let him plant some plants of his own, though, he loves watching them grow. Although he’s never been able to do so, he’d love to cultivate some melons at some point as well. Watermelons, cantaloupes, honey melons, he’d love to eat his own ones someday as well, especially with you. He thinks it’s so cool that you’re a gardener because, in another life where he wasn’t a soldier and or leader of a PMC, he, too, would be a gardener. Has always dreamed of having a garden with you and would love to plant some trees as well. Apple trees, cherry trees, maybe even some orange trees, as long as he gets some delicious fruit out of it, he’s down. Besides, what’s more domestic than working at your shared garden together? He’ll even plant some flowers as well. He can’t particularly surprise you well with them, but he can look at your surprised face when they first start sprouting. While he won’t pluck or cut them unless he needs to, he will cherish the moments he gets to spend with you and your shared plants. And if you’re the type of person to name your plants then I can assure you he remembers each and every single name.

König: He’s never really been into gardening. He had a small succulent as a kid once so he had something to take care of that would help him with feeling down, but it didn’t survive very long. He loved the little plant a little too much and gave it too much water every day. To this day he feels guilty about it. He named it “Luisa”. Ever since then he’s not very confident in his plant keeping abilities, thinking he has the worst green thumb imaginable. He would love to help you, don’t get me wrong, but he’s afraid of killing your plants and making you mad about it. No, he’d much rather watch you and encourage you with your endeavors. He’ll buy fertilizer, if needed, or some new seeds or saplings if you want some, but he won’t really do much with your plants, aside from moving them to the sunlight if you want him to. Although, it should be added that he could still learn how to take good care of a plant. With some guidance, and another small succulent that’s hard to kill, it’s not too late. Just show him the ropes, tell him what to do and he’ll do it. He might get nervous about having overdone it again from time to time, and will come up to you, the succulent tiny in his hands, asking you if his plant will make it. Reassure him and give him some good tips, he’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. König feels very accomplished when the plant has survived over two months. As time goes on, he’ll grow more comfortable with plants and ask you if he could maybe help you water some more plants. He may still need to get a feeling for it all, but he’s very eager to help you. Again, this is all very domestic for him, so he quite likes it. Just watering some plants with you, harvesting some parsley, maybe picking some apples from the tree. He can get most fruits from the tree due to his height as well, which is great. König’s more into the practical side of gardening, so he prefers fruit and vegetables over flowers. His favorite plant would be a pumpkin, but only because he loves pumpkin seed oil.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #könig #konig #könig x reader #konig x reader #pumpkin seed oil is literally the best thing out there it goes so well with salad #I never eat my salads without some pumpkin seed oil #been eating it ever since I was a child and my mother to this day buys it whenever she can. salads are so good #therefore König also adores pumpkin seed oil because I said so #besides he's Austrian so it makes a lot of sense as well #plants are so so cool #I had two succulents once but my heart broke when I had to throw them out due to mosquitos #my entire room was filled to the brim with mosquitos it was absolutely disgusting #my two succulents were named Eden and Arya #and yes I did name one after an OC of mine and the other one after a VN character #I miss having plants it was so very cool but I fear the day I have a million bugs in my room again #I'm not at all a big fan of bugs I think they should leave me alone and stay as far away from me as possible #also I really like lisianthus because of a song. otherwise I wouldn't even know they exist haha #nine point eight by mili is very depressing but also really good. it names a lot of flowers #however don't listen to it if you don't fare well with suicide themes since that song's very heavy on those

[yeosangs-horizon]

HOW DID LIKE 500 THINGS HAPPEN THIS EPISODE AND THEY HIT US WITH THIS AT THE END OF THE EPISODE. ABSOLUTELY SOBBING MY EYES OUT RN THEY'RE DONE BEING HITMEN THEY ARE TRULY FAMILY <3

If this was the end of the series I'd accept this,, banishing ogino and shigeki out of my brain rn they live like this forever kyutaro is uncle

#NO BUT FR HOW DID MIRI SLEEP THRU ALL OF THAT #SO MANY SHOTS WERE FIRED LITERALLY #AND MY POOR BB KAZUKI WAS HURT SO BADLY IT BROKE MY HEART #REI THO FUFKGMG CHARACTER GROWTH WHOMST #buddy daddies #rei suwa #buddy daddy spoilers #suwa rei #kazuki kurusu #miri unasaka #unasaka miri #kal talks #i am feeling so unwell after this ep #but also so happy #buddy daddy

[wikipedie]

The way Merlin is a tragedy disguised as a comedy

#bbc merlin #me 10 years ago: hey let's start this funny show!! surely it won't damage me beyond repair #the thing is. you have hope. the whole goddamn show there is hope. #it starts as being light and hilarious then it gets more and more tragic but there's still hilarious moments and there's still hope #especially after uther dies #you think that maybe things will get better. but no. they get arguably worse. #the lies stack up one after another & in the end the promise made at the start - that arthur will return magic to camelot - is a lie too #i think #it's literally been 10 years since I've seen merlin so maybe i remember things wrongly #i wanted to rewatch it recently but i couldn't #i couldn't watch it again knowing how terrible it all turns out #i support women being evil but morgana becoming the evil sorceress just broke my fucking heart and i can't go through it again #she was betrayed in so many ways and it WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO REACH OUT TO HER #SHE REALLY WANTED SOMEONE TO REACH OUT TO HER #and when nobody did except the druids and then the druids were killed she was like fuck all of you #and rightfully so #but it still fucking breaks my heart #not to mention the whole... merlin. yea not to mention merlin #you watch this show and you look at the characters becoming better for a short while #and then it's a shitshow in all of them becoming so much worse #except gwen <3

[louismygf]

just recently watched this is us with my college friends

#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭 #the louis clips were so not enough #ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add) #one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭 #the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭 #my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol #anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior #i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth #my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it #UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only? #but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼 #anyw back to my review. #simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off #im from the future i Know things #<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart #i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭 #it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol #they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭 #they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd #i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think) #OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious #didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔 #maybe... i am too much of a hater #i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔 #the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭 #<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/

[spiderfaang]

ngl I'm surprised picklenight isn't more popular. But then again, out of all of what was going on in CF's trial, I didn't expect people to linger on it too much. Like if the erins ever decided to give nightcloud another mate, I hope it would be pickle. I think she deserves a soft kittypet husband

#I'm a nightsquirrel truther at heart but listen. the erins won't do it and they gave us pickle soo #everybody go look at pickle's wiki page and see what nightcloud says about him #god. pickle was so kind and nice to nightcloud that even though she hated kittypets she grew a soft spot for him.... #thinking about how pickle said it took so long for the windclan cats to find her....how much do they really care about her? #if it was just crowfeather that found her I would be like ''YOU'RE SO RIGHT PICKLE!!!!!!!'' #also crowfeather is soooooo funny about pickle and night's friendship #thinks pickle is a stupid name for a cat bc he realized pickle treated her better than he ever did and got jealous #literally the most wet pathetic moment of crows existence. you have no reason to be acting like this!!!!!!!! #also food for thought so that its funnier: breeze has a better relationship with pickle than crow #pickle just straight up steals crows entire family #my justification is that he broke down nights prickly nature. he can do that with breeze. I believe in him. #crowfeather x2 jealousy

[dangaer]

watched the ballad of songbirds and sna.kes tonight and honestly cannot get over the whole entire man dooming himself in the claim that its love but he never truly understood it narrative it brings 🥲

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #real talk this is a narrative that's so extremely important to recognise #THE FACT LUCY WALKED AWAY. oh I'm so thankful #love a villain origin story that makes the character a villain! yes my heart broke but it was for everyone but snow and that was very good #storytelling I'm ngl. #with the sorts of muses I play you dont understand how so many of them are a thread away from this. #it's genuinely something to be aware of: bc they will literally kill for you. And tell you that it's your fault. bc they did it for you #I'm working on things this weekend. I will be here to write completely! taking an early night tonight bc I deserve it I think!

[akechi-if-he-slayed]

idc how much people hate the cartoon msm 2017 parksborn will always be special to me…

#so very special…in my heart… #i hold them in my hands and i sob #also! i actually really liked the cartoon as a whole and thought it was rlly cute despite what many say :( #the only plotline that kinda irked me were his scenes with kamala but that’s just because it was ruining parksborn lmao im down bad for them #oh i also did NOT like the mj school dance plot line get that basketball ginger OUT of parksborn #mj fans don’t hurt me #but peter was literally goofy af i hearted him so much. nothing ever worked out for his ass. man was broke struggling and bi pick a struggle #but that show will always have a special place in my heart… #listening to the parksborn playlist i made for it always makes me nostalgic #msm 2017 #parksborn

[orcelito]

after this

the chapter then ending on this

has me big time feeling like. this.

#speculation nation #fanny reads trigun #trigun spoilers/ #HELP? ME??? #face in my hands. i literally gasped when the wing first appeared #i was like 'thats GOTTA be vash right???' but it was like it was acting independently of him #only to be revealed that he was COMPLETELY losing it. nearly did the fucking angel arm shit again b4 crimson nails appeared #legato fucking sucks. rip sax man. zazie is my fav antagonist (nonbinary ICON). elendira is so fucking beautiful #poor fucking meryl getting caught up in all this. she's just an insurance girl and here she was trapped under an angel man #who very nearly set off his arm nuke for the THIRD. TIME. #he really is just a walking atomic bomb. one bad day away from killing another several hundred thousand people #him calling himself a murderer upon remembering what happened in july. that broke my fucking Heart #mr vash the stampede. eternal pacifist who refuses to kill even ppl actively trying to kill him. calling himself a murderer. #head in my hands. im utterly obsessed with his wings. im obsessed with all of this. holy fucking shit y'all #and then it ends with them being Losers once more. sometimes Loser4Loser is watching ur bf nearly set off his atomic bomb arm #and sometimes it's poking fun at one another and helping rebuild a town you were part of the destroying of #geeze. geeeeze. SO fucking much happened. jesus fucking christ #i knew it'd be a lot but i didnt know just how Much it'd be a lot. that tails image is just me rn for REAL

[hgduo]

k!Luzu is both the most tragic little man who gives me constant pain and grief but also a total loser who I want to bully /lovingly

#he both upsets me /pos because like he's just a guy who wanted to help but in a world that took advantage of him #and broke his heart and even when he turned back on the world and embraced the chaos #k4 still ends with him willing to give his life to save the world... #he is so warped by that experienced that despite losing all his k4 memories he is still 'evil!luzu' when k5 starts #but even then he still has... he has good in him- like dont get me wrong #I think his affection towards k!q was toxic and founded on something false the entire time but... #deep down he did want to protect him... and the tragedy of it is watching it all fall apart because yes he loved Q #but he never really understood him and that was always bound to fracture eventually #and it happens in the most bitter way with him hurting the person he cares for most the SAME way he was hurt and not realizing it #and as the arc went on we see him go from doing terrible things for misguided noble reasons to straying so far from his original goal #and becoming miserable and cruel and just... so far from the man he was at the start of k4- and when he loses his memories again hes just.. #so... 'light' and happier and... :( ... yet even so he's still not good!Luzu again... #maybe he can never be good!Luzu again..... he's so- my little guy :( #.............................. but also I have such an urge to just bully him everytime I see him LMAO #ajsdejeafbkz- LOOK there is just something so bullyable about k!Luzu- when I'd talk about him on discord to non kl fans I'd just bully him- #for being such an edgy emo bitch- look at his outfits my god #He literally looks like how I'd draw my oc's when I was younger 😭- which were either emo dudes in hoodies or dressy outfits #and all throughout k5 I see him miserable and deep down I just think 'well bestie whose fault is that hmmm?'

[crazysnor1ax]

When she loved me.

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAV FICTIONAL TWINS!!!!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY HERE #okay so I started this SEVERAL months ago and their bday gave me the motivation to finish! #while I think this far is my best work I have such an emotional attachment to this one #when I was finishing this up last night I put on blossom from porter Robinson and just. this artwork combined with the song and the twins’ #relationship just BROKE me. #blossom IS a romance song with context but I love interpreting it as just a really strong bond between two people #like these two have such an unreal sibling bond and it breaks my heart. Wendy did everything to keep her sister after death and Abby even #persists after death JUST to be with her sister. it is so sad and so beautiful and it kills me #like how close do you have to be to literally conquer death in a sense? #while all this doesn’t exactly relate to this pieces mood at all I just want to emphasize how much I love these two and their relationship #willow is my favorite character but I think these two have my favorite story and relationship. they are everything to me. #ANYWAYS LMAO #went for a children’s book vibe with this one! #snorlarts #wendy dont starve #abigail dont starve #dst

[thotsfortherapy]

hmmmm... ran into my ex today

#cy says stuff #personal #it's been three years but i had such a strong feeling that i would see him and i did #he definitely saw me first and when we made eye contact i think he like confirmed that it was me #and he looked... scared #which is like. dude it's been three years i have made peace with it #and then he literally just ran out of the building without ordering food or anything #and I'm like damn i wanted to talk to you! #i wanna know how he is! #but tbh by the looks of it he seemed unwell! which is sad because i really wanted him to be okay.. #i just feel so much older now and seeing him again really made me realize how i just want him to not be sad anymore #And i felt that when we were dating and after we broke up #and to see that he's still sad is like :((( idk it kind of breaks my heart a little bit #i know he's still beating himself up about everything and I'm like bro i forgave you years ago i promise you it's okay #idk. i wish him well. i hope he turns out okay. i hope he figures out how to love himself and the life he's been given #and I'm happy i cut off contact when i did because i know it would've broken my heart to see him stay like this for so long #and i wonder why his reaction was to be afraid #because i was stern after we broke up but i was never out here threatening ppl or actively trying to hurt them #like the worst thing i did was ask him why he thought it was appropriate to keep randomly texting me to compliment my appearance after we'd #been broken up for months #and I'm like what life experiences are you having that make you afraid.. what have you come to expect??? #idk i feel like he's just so guilty about everything he's ever done and he's made himself out to be this monster that deserves that respons #but he really isn't like he was just a kid and he just keeps fucking himself over cause he never learned how to be healthy or get help #idk im kind of grieving for him rn! like I'm sorry your life turned out like that! #i can't make it better for him but im definitely not going to make it worse #and if we ever talk i will tell him i forgive him and that he should forgive himself too #for that at least lmao #no idea what he's been up to in these past few years #but he clearly wasn't ready to talk today so #maybe some other time some other place some other world

[neilfinnaesthetics]

My Grandma’s beautiful house is being sold and man, I just may never recover from this.

#my grandma’s house means so much to me it was like my second home tbh #it’s just too big for her now so she’s going into a nursing home #I broke my heart by looking to see if the house had gone up and it did :( #seeing photos of it empty literally snaps me omg

[dorianbrightmusic]

On Culture As a Social Ruleboook and Late-Diagnosed ASD

I wanna talk about something to do with late-diagnosed autism and the emotional impact of working out that it was, well, a thing. I'll clarify upfront: this absolutely isn't reflective of all autistic experience. I'm grateful for the fact that I had a choice in being able to get diagnosed, and aware of the fact it's not something that everyone has control over, whether due to support needs + more overt disability, or due to restrictions/treatment of ASD folks. This is only my experience. I'm just hoping it'll resonate for some else.

So I'm studying undergrad psychology at the moment, and something we briefly touched on this year was cultural psychology. Culture, we were taught, is the rulebook of any given society. It's learned through processes of enculturation – implicit learning – socialisation – explicit learning – and acculturation – doing all that all over again once you're in a new culture. I'd like to draw attention to acculturation, because it's linked to a model of culture shock. That is, going to a new culture and realising that you don't understand how society works where you are.

If you cannot operate according to the social rulebook, our lecturer explained, chances are that you stop feeling like you are a competent adult. Agency, contentment – these drain away until you slowly learn the culture you're within.

And here's the thing: since ASD is a developmental disability with a huge, huge social component, hearing these words from my lecturer meant so, so much. Because when you are genetically and neurologically programmed to not understand social norms, learning your own culture without explicitly studying it (assuming you have the support and intellectual ability) feels damn near impossible.

I cannot speak for all folks with ASD. But in my own experience: being an autist without knowing/while in denial feels like being in constant culture shock.

I do not comprehend social rules; every time I felt I could not function as a capable adult for the reason of 'I do not know how I am meant to do [straightforward task]', it felt like being stripped of competence, autonomy, ability. And when social rules are so, so arbitrary, this happened so, so often. It still does. Without knowing what autism was or knowing/wanting to acknowledge that it was hardwired into me, it felt like walking around as a broken member of society, and largely helpless to understand and thus act with any real decisiveness or capacity.

At 15, I wanted to write an autistic character, so ended up doing some research. I'd honestly known for years in some capacity that I was autistic, but was in a stringent denial, as I thought it was some kind of sin. And slowly, over the course of that research, everything unravelled.

I did not understand my culture – my social rulebook – because I did not belong within it.

I am autistic. I'm fluent in autism. I wasn't failing to innately understand my first culture. I had a pretty damn good grasp on being autistic, and while I don't entirely understand its every nuance in terms of the fact that I have not and cannot live every autistic experience, I certainly had been fairly well enculturated.

I did not understand neurotypical culture not because I wasn't human, but because I was learning it on the fly. I wasn't incompetent. I was trying to translate and failing because there are no textbooks for this.

And this was not initially a pleasant realisation, because there was still the crushed pride of realising I would never be neurotypical. But there was an awful and wonderful and heartbreaking realisation beneath. For the first time in my life, I was human, so help me God.

#this is not to say that the autistic experience is the same as being a migrant or an actual person from another literal culture #but the moment i did the cultural psychology unit my heart broke #because it did make sense #it hurt so much and made so much sense #autism #asd #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #asc #acculturation

[fresasagrias]

also uhhhhhhh chaos island fucking SUCKS. and maybe i wouldn't have hated it as much if i was more rested but ohhh my god that's such a contrast from the other two islands you get so little control over where you're going i haaate it. hate that so much for this game.

#i was so disappointed my heart literally broke fkdngkdmg #and it's the most emotionally heavy one #at least as it starts #literally hurt my soul and then did it again for a completely different worse reason lmao #🍓 plays frontiers #sonic frontiers spoilers #maybe other people won't find it as bad of they don't hate 2D sections as much as i do but aaaaa in the fucking open world???? despicable