#losing interest in everything

[xstarkillerx]

For the first time in my life I'm all smutted out, I don't wanna read it, I don't wanna write it, I don't wanna think about it. What's going on with me

#i think im depressed #losing interest in everything

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

I feel like I don’t feel anything until something happens then I feel every emotion all at once.

#dear diary #welcome to the shitshow #numb #empty #cyclothymia #i feel everything #i feel nothing #hits all at once #alone #struggling #losing interest in everything #immense sadness #rollercoaster #i can't think

[pirateknight]

if there's one thing about Lou Wilson it's that he goes above and beyond when given the option to sabotage himself and his party

#escalation from pinocchio purposefully walking into a trap to him lying about getting possessed and burning everything fabian has on adaine #'fabian loses control of a bodily function' [picks the worst one] #also i think gunnie chefs tools casino bit could be an example #looking at the stepmother #he just keeps it interesting #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #OH AND how could i forget the bad awful no good day in leviathan

[allyriadayne]

Jace's anger

#jacaerys velaryon #house of thedragon #hotdedit #gameofthronesdaily #targaryensource #i had this vague idea of jace only being angry when he's being taunted about his heritage but #he really is angry in every episode he's in. girl it's not a coincidence; it's a pattern; a character trait if u will #SO SO interested in jace as this angry ball of human being; just waiting to boil over and lash out. and of course. he hates it. absolutely #hates losing control this way #but he can't help it because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions because everything. is. fine. and there's nothing to talk about #dailyhotdgifs #mariana does things #*hotd #photoset

[maomango-doodle]

(13 pages) Forlorn

#trigun #trigun stampede #millions knives #on an episode of “how much can i woobify knives :D” #his character is interesting to explore. so much loneliness mixed with strong emotions repressed behind a cold facade #i wondered how he would react to the realization that he misses vash #if he brings his plans to fruition then they'll be reunited -- that's what he tells himself #maybe to keep the loneliness at bay but sometimes it catches up to him #i thought maybe this cold and perfect facade knives parades would shatter and the “ugly” emotions hidden behind would spill out #which would be smth out of his control. and knives hates it. or deep down is terrified of it #smth smth knives seeing vash in his reflection on a stolen red plant #and oh #oh he's PISSED #he let a part of himself break. he showed weakness. and over what? over vash?? but hes doing everything for HIM #he thinks -- so it's vash's fault he's losing his composure right? #it's vash's fault he's distracted from what could reunite them. his fault knives is doing all of this. feeling all of this #using vash as a scape goat for his own emotional turmoil #and that piano be damned. it's a monolith of his loneliness #if only it could all disappear-- the piano-- the cold-- the memories-- the weight on his heart-- the FEAR #there's smth about his rage being rooted in fear that intrigues me #fear of remaining alone-- fear of the hurricane of his own emotions-- fear of time passing and loss of control #then his hood falls off and he's left vulnerable and exposed #also i like the idea of knives looking pretty when he's composed but when he shows strong emotions he turns ugly and wrinkly #comic #i forgot it was in my drafts lol also not kv btw ^^ #Thank you for reading! :3 #shinxo art #shinxo comic

[alicentes]

I didn’t sit here for years tryna stay calm and silent while listening to your bad takes on gale (who grew up oppressed, in poverty and then witnessed his entire district getting wiped out then rightly went to fight in the rebellion because it was his inlg chance of tearing down the system the wanted him and his family dead) being a “terrorist war criminal who is single handedly responsible for killing innocent people including prim and who is the REAL villain of the hunger games” just for y’all to turn and start stanning and defending actual facist dictator and child trafficker Coriolanus Snow because you saw a young hot version of him.

#i actually do enjoy coryo as a villain and liked his origin story but people are really making excuses for him? and they know what he became #gale hawthorne #the hunger games #anti coriolanus snow #tbosas #like even in tbosas he shows that he is a sociopathic narissist. he tries to be good but those traits are still there and he embraced them #as for gale he was oppressed his entire life and lived in the poorest part of panem and resents the rich who were complicit in his suffering #the things he does for the resistance were things he thought was neccessary to win to end oppression #the other option was losing the rebellion and getting tortured killed and allowing snow to cause a lot more suffering #do i agree w everything he does? no because he is a character with flaws but i dont blame him one bit for decisions after the genocide of 12 #he has to live with the consequences of what happened during the war and what he had to do to survive #but he is not a bad person for fighting back and willing to kill to survive he also does not understand the toll it takes to have to kill #him and snow are the same age and they both choose survival but snow is choosing power for himself and restoring his families wealth #and gale is choosing to join the rebellion and willing to fight for the sake of the rest of his people and to put an end to the suffering #one creates an oppressive society and one is tearing down that society both do whatever it takes #wow i guess i have more thoughts on gales character than i originally thought and the comparisons with snow are interesting

[roseverie]

its not that I have regrets but god there’s so much I could have done if it wasn’t for having mental illness at such a young age lol

#like severe anxiety robbed me of so much during early childhood/highschool etc #and then depression came after making me lose interest in everything #and even though I still very much deal with both I feel like I’m starting to do things now that younger me loved but couldn’t at the time #and setting boundaries !

[seventh-fantasy]

圣人有情而无累

dihua + 情 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #asiandramasource #dailyasiandramas #cdramasource #asiandramanet #cdramagifs #cdramanet #gifshistorical #cdrama #cheng yi #dihua #lhlgifs #jielin's edits #my posts #情 sentiments (not romance or love) / 圣人有情而无累 a sage possesses feelings but is unburdened by it #sgm lxy was described to be cold and unfeeling to the extent he's likened to a ''dead person'' #not bc he was above feelings. bc clearly when he was made to face it...it went very badly #so llh ending at the point where he's so composed and at ease despite having to leave everything he cared about behind. yeah. #one would think llh would have been dead from bicha by then. but he's never been more alive tbh #very much a xianxia/cmyth narrative. by the theoretical definitions of xianxia/cmyth #it's a dihua thing to me also since it is them that evoked in one another each of their own ordeals with 情 #dfs said to lxy that 你的弱点就是喜欢当英雄. what is good pretending your motivations are so noble #bc dfs had lived his whole life for himself and only himself. he does not pretend to be more than that #and the interesting thing is when it's followed by 一个剑客不该有弱点 as if he's speaking as the 理 of wulin. #being weak is bad and it means you'll lose. that's just the rule of wulin #he is that sort of paradoxical existence... #lxy goes on to prove otherwise as llh. while existing to bring to surface the 情 in dfs #-> just know i do not know what i'm talking about anymore i just have lots of convoluted thoughts about these two im incoherent about #uhhh enjoy some nice gifs!

[moongothic]

The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people

Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer

But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.

No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.

But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck

So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???

But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery

Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus

What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV

Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)

But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.

But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy

So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)

Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic

-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?

Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???

(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)

I just.

There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.

And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one

#Moon posting #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Haunted by thoughts of one (1) evil middle aged man #IDK I was rereading Punk Hazard today while on the train and just. God there's like no difference between Alabasta Croc and Ceasar #I mean there is but no there isn't. Dude was doing essentially the same shit just this time with much more child abuse #And we all agree that Ceasar is scum of the earth and irredeemable. #But also he was doing everything PURELY out of self-interest without ANY sad backstory to counter balance it #I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES #Kuma Flashback I Love You but I need to know what the fuck is happening with Crocodile so bad pleeeaaase #There's also like that note about Kuma saying he'd be wiling to make a deal with the devil just to protect his daughter #And If Crocodad Real. What a greater evolution of that but being wiling to BECOME the devil himself to protect your child #Also sorry about the Buggy slander but also not sorry. All that man is good for is being a punching bag for comedy as far as I'm concerned #He's very funny I'll give you that. And I'm looking forward to him and Shanks getting married

[maudiemoods]

Aight I feel like I should go ahead and officially say this! I probably won't be drawing much of sun and moon anymore! I'll still reblog art and fics of them but I will no longer be a creator! Just a consumer!

#i thought id be obsessed till the day i die #i do still love fnaf a whole bunch #i think ive just drawn everything i want to see for sun and moon? when i try to draw them it just feel repetitive?? #guys watch me draw them as soon as i post this im gonna lose it #i just had the sudded urge to draw them #but for real thanks for everyone for following 🥹 especially the people who interact with my post #the past two years have been the online experience i had dreamed for! lots of support and interest in my art! means a lot to me #ren won't shut up #I'll probably occasionally draw them but I have new interests now ❤️ #my life is a lime green jeep (that's a metaphor)

[moonlightperseus]

shaking brennan by the shoulders so hard WHAT DO YOU MEAN KALINA SAYS RAGH IS THE ONLY NAME SHE CAN SAY. WHAT DOES THAT MEANNNNNBNBBNN

#i’m seeing people create theories meanwhile i’m just here completely empty brained desperately wanting to know #what does it MEAN what does it all MEANNNNNNNNN #brennan this mystery is so interesting i need to know everything immediately i’m losing my mind #brennan please. please brennan #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year

[astrowarr]

so now the only solo players are martyn (deranged red life who just lost all his friends and family permanently to a couple of green lives, who laughed and laughed as if they weren't filthy murderers) and scar (alone by his own design as he burns all his bridges, and shies away from every connection that could be anything more than just simple, clinical allyship)

#its so interesting to me #the way that after the slaughter of martyns finale last season he becomes more and more jaded at the prospect of family #he loses everything he touches anyway #and scar- traumatized from all his failed relationships #because they always fail after grian. they always fail if they aren't grian #he has sentenced himself to a self-imposed exile #because for as painful as loneliness is at least he can staunch the bleeding. the pain of loss is a thousands cuts #he could never hope to mend so many open wounds #martyn itlw #martyn inthelittlewood #scar #goodtimeswithscar #scar goodtimes #secret life #slsmp #secret life spoilers #desert duo #trafficblr #grian #life series #gtws

[minne-cerbinna]

Sometimes I am reminded of the fact that Iorveth just like canonically has very pretty eyes (or very pretty eye 😔).

In TW2, none of the men have eyelashes while the women do. As examples for the men, we have Geralt himself, Letho, Dandelion, and Roche:

And as examples for the women, Triss, Saskia, Sheala/Síle, Philippa, and Mottle.

However, Iorveth does have eyelashes on his in-game model:

This is unique to him, not an elven trait, because as we can see on Cedric, Ciaran, and Ele'yas, they don't have eyelashes like Iorveth does:

And it's not a fluke or graphical glitch on Iorveth, either, he consistently has them throughout the game:

He's just really pretty like that.

#rambles #the witcher #the witcher games #iorveth #catch me looking at insignificant details because i spend too long staring at elves #yaevinn pencils his brows and iorveth has really nice lashes #and like on a character analysis level that is very interesting #not only was his eye something vital to him #he's an archer #he needs his vision #he would have had to relearn how to shoot with this impairment to his depth perception #but not only for it to be a practical thing #it's also like #something about him that is markedly beautiful #only to be bespoiled by the dh'oine #everything elven and beautiful must be tarnished by human hands #and so they took his eye #not that i think iorveth is particularly vain #but he is still proud in his own way #and it must sting to lose a point of pride #his marksmanship and his beauty both marred by the dh'oine #he's still very striking and he can still shoot a bow so it cannot be said that these things were 'ruined' #but it's just kind of adding insult to injury #as it were

[rapidhighway]

my fucking beloved sonic ova why arent we talking about it more

they literally had a mind link guys

#THEY HA D A FFUCKING MIND LINK #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #a thousand deaths #my fucking GOD #im losing my fucking mind #its such an interesting approach its everything #metal sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic ova

[burning-academia-if]

Hello, I blinked and March was over. Another busy/hectic month in regards to Real Life things + I got pretty sick at the end of it (because being sick in February wasn't enough lol). With that being said, here's what I did get done:

Wrote 16.1k words (Chapter 2 total word count: 27.4k )

Started editing/coding in the start of Chapter 2

Did some more coding/tweaking for stat pages

Fixed some variables in Chapter 1 + added piercings and facial hair options to character customization (these will all be added when Chap 2 releases)

Posted Rhea's bday art

With that being said, I thought Chapter 2 would be a max of 30k words, but all the small branching and flavor text in this chapter is really adding up lol. Of those words written, most of it went towards the Lars/Student Warden path. I did however write one of the three endings, and one of two of the RO pov ending scene variants.

With that said the Rhea/Student Government path should be a lot shorter since it's more straight forward, and once that's done, all that's left is a handful of smaller scenes/variants to finish up and then Chapter 2 will be done! I'm guessing it'll end up being between 40k to 50k words in total. I'm hoping to finish up the writing in April and then code everything in to release it by late May! This is obviously very tentative, but unless the universe decides to cause mayhem once more, that's what I'm aiming for!

Lastly, here's another little preview for the confrontational MCs this month (ft Lars):

#BA: updates #didn't hit my word count goal either but I did lose an entire week of writing to a fever in my defense asjkflas #health>>>>>>writing #also if you're reading the tags random off topic request lmfaO #but I like to read during my hour break at work and I need book recs #I read pretty much everything in all genres and age demographics #non fiction and comics/mangas included #anyways I read a lot but I think my issue lately is I've read so much in my comfort zone and now nothing looks interesting #I've read 33 books this year and only a handful weren't fantasy (I know that sounds like a lot but like 19 of those were manga asfaklj) #the only limit is it can't be self published since it would need to be available at my library and they never carry indies

[muffingnf]

i think george has somehow mastered how to keep my attention like he disappears for a month and i go about my life doing other things and i start to think oh… i miss him a little…. but what if my interest is fading…. its been so long….. and then he randomly goes live at 11pm uk time and its like i get hit by a truck with how excited i am to see him like ohhh YES! i DO still love him! immensely!!!! this is amazing!!!!!

#maybe im weird but too much content makes me lose interest #like i get overwhelmed tryinf to keep up so i just dont #and the excitement goes away because oh its whatever theyll be live again soon #but with george i know i have to drop everything and COMMIT when he goes live cos who knows when he’ll next stream #and its like excitinf to me to do that #doesthat make sense