#love that kristen is behind on her chores

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

harry and his wife going to a birthing class would be so precious !!

imagine him asking all the questions wanting to be informed as much as possible !! + him bragging to the other new parents about how proud he is of you for carrying his baby!! and him rubbing your belly throughout the class(!!) he’d be so nervous after watching a birth video knowing that you’ll have to go through that soon but he’d be so happy knowing at the end of it all you’ll have your baby (i re watched the snl skit and i couldn’t resist 🥺🥺)

soon to be dad!harry is my favorite thing ever :)

birthing class

warnings: none

word count: 3.2k

"Are you almost ready, love?" Harry called from the living room. "I'm coming!" you replied, struggling to lean down. You had finally reached the point in your pregnancy where you couldn't get your shoes on by yourself. Huffing, you kicked the tennis shoes back to your closet and grabbed a pair of crocs from the shelf. Not the most fashionable, sure, but they fit and they were comfortable. Good enough.

"I'm ready," you said, grabbing your water bottle from the table. "Couldn't get my shoes on." "Oh, I could have helped you!" He cooed, looking guilty. You had to refrain from rolling your eyes. It was sweet that he was so attentive, but it was also getting really annoying.  He acted like you were made of glass. He didn't let you do anything anymore. At first you had been fine with it- after all, you weren't about to complain that he was suddenly jumping to do the chores around the house. But sometimes you missed your independence. "It's fine, Harry," you sighed. "I figured it out. I am a very resourceful woman." "You are," he grinned, grabbing the keys from the bowl by the door. "My incredible wife." "Oh yes, I'm so incredible for putting on a pair of crocs," you said, this time not stopping yourself from rolling your eyes. His happy expression didn't change as he ushered you out the door. That was one other thing- he had been incredible throughout this whole thing. He didn't get annoyed when you snapped at him or cried at random things or woke him up in the middle of the night because you were hungry. He just kept that happy smile on his face, or rubbed your back, or went to find something to satisfy your cravings. You were more thankful than you could ever explain. "So, are you excited?" You asked him, already in a better mood as you buckled your seatbelt. He didn't mention your mood swings, another thing you were very thankful for. "I am," he admitted as he backed out of the driveway. "I'm gonna ask all the questions. I'm gonna learn how to be the best birthing partner you've ever seen." "Please don't refer to yourself as my birthing partner," you shook your head. "It's super weird." "Alright, uh... baby... delivery... support?" "Baby delivery support? Really?" You raised your eyebrows, crossing your arms over your chest. "Well, is it better than birthing partner?" He grinned. "Not much," you said, unable to hold back your laugh. "Why are you taking this so seriously?" "Of course I'm taking this seriously. It's learning how to bring our baby girl into the world. Very important stuff," he said, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it. "Yeah, but I'm just gonna get an epidural. I honestly don't know if we need this class." "Too late, we're already here," he said, flashing a cheeky smile as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. “Let’s go learn how to have a baby!”

-----

"Hello everyone!" The instructor chirped. She was way too cheery. "Please, choose a yoga mat. Partner sits behind mom." "See?" Harry nudged you, leaning closer to whisper in your ear. "Partner. Birthing partner. I was right." "Shut up," you huffed, elbowing him lightly. "You know I'm right," he grinned, pressing a light kiss to your ear. You did know he was right, but you would never admit it to him. So you just shook your head, leading him over to the closest yoga mat. He helped you get comfortable before he settled himself behind you, putting his legs on either side of yours and resting his hands on your belly. He put his chin on your shoulder, looking down at his hands on you. "Did you feel that?" He asked excitedly. You smiled at the fluttering feeling inside you, putting your hands over his and guiding them to where the movement was strongest. "She does that every time you talk," you informed him, tilting your head to look at him. "Really?" He grinned, looking so boyishly happy that you couldn't help but smile with him. You nodded. "She already loves you." "Well that's good, because I already love her too." You smiled at this, tilting your head more to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Before you could get too carried away, you were pulled from your sweet moment by the instructor clapping loudly. "Alright everyone, it's time to get started!" She announced, taking her place at the front of the room. "First we'll go around the room and introduce ourselves. Then I want you to say the thing you're looking forward to most in this class. I'll start: I'm Sandy, and I'm most excited to answer all of your questions, and hopefully ease any fears or anxiety you may be having." She gestured toward you and Harry next. You smiled, waving to the other couples in the room. "Hello, I'm Y/N. I'm most excited to learn about epidurals and how to go about getting one." This got a small chuckle from the others in the room, and several knowing looks and nods from the other moms. "I'm Harry," he said, lifting his hand from under yours to give a small wave. "And I'm most excited to learn about how to support my wife during the rest of her pregnancy and the delivery." Sandy nodded. "Both excellent things to learn about. Who would like to go next?" "Aw, you're sweet," you whispered, leaning back against him. "What a good husband you're being." "Please, I'm always a good husband," he grinned, turning his head to kiss your cheek. "I'm just better than everyone else here, so I look really good by comparison." You reached back to smack his shoulder playfully. "Be nice, we haven't even heard from any of the other dads yet. For all you know, one of them could totally blow your answer out of the water." "I seriously doubt it," he scoffed, speaking in a low voice so he wouldn't interrupt anyone. "Look at them. That one looks ready to bolt. Keeps eyeing the door. That one over there looks like he's gonna be sick just looking at the diagrams of the female body. And that last one- well, he actually looks fine." Just as Harry finished analyzing everyone in the room, the last man spoke. "I'm Lucas, and I'm most excited for Kristen here to have some questions answered. She's been so freaked out the whole time, it's getting ridiculous. It's like, babe, I don't know either! Why are you asking me?" Harry leaned closer to speak in your ear again. "Nevermind, maybe he's not fine." You tried very hard to keep your laughter to yourself, mostly because you felt bad for Kristen.   Sandy seemed a bit stunned by his blunt answer, pausing slightly before she regained her chirpy tone. "Um... yes! All very good goals. Let's get into it then!" Harry stretched his arms out in front of you, cracking his knuckles. "Alright, get ready for me to be the best baby delivery support you've ever seen," he said into your ear. "Lucas wishes he could be as good as me." You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the smile off your face. You felt very lucky to have such an attentive husband, one who was even more excited for birthing classes than you

were. There was no one else you would rather have by your side. "First, we're going to go over some breathing exercises. Now, you may be thinking "I don't need to learn how to breathe, I do it every day!" but you may be surprised how much regulating your air can help with relaxation and pain relief. So, get comfortable. Moms, rest on your partner behind you. Let them support you. Partner, your job here is to hold them up and keep your breathing even. You can place your hands wherever feels comfortable. This may be on their belly, or legs, or even holding their hands." "I'm keeping my hands right here," Harry whispered, placing his hands in their previous position, right over where your baby was kicking. "Now, everyone follow me as I take a deep breath in..." She inhaled exaggeratedly, raising her arms up in the air, before she spoke again. "Then exhale," she lowered her arms. "Repeat this a few times. Inhale... and exhale." You could feel Harry's chest moving at her prompts, and you matched with him. You wouldn't tell him (his ego was already big enough) but his presence was extremely soothing. He made you feel so safe, and you were much less worried than you had been before. You usually played it off with jokes and sarcasm, but you had been pretty anxious about the delivery process. But with Harry behind you, holding you and staying so calm, you felt like everything would be just fine. After a few minutes of this, Sandy brought her arms down one final time. "Excellent! How are we feeling after this? Hopefully more relaxed." "I feel very relaxed," you said quietly, tipping your head back against Harry's shoulder. "You're good at this." "I told you," he smirked. "I have a very soothing personality." "Very soothing," you agreed. "Alright, for our next activity, we're going to go through some birthing positions. In fact, you are already sitting in an ideal position, but there are others that can be more comfortable. So partners, help mom stand up, and we'll get the birthing balls." She gestured over to the corner, where there were large exercise balls lined up. Harry helped you up slowly, making sure you were steady before he went to retrieve one. He set the ball down behind you, helping you settle yourself on it. He placed his hands on your shoulders, looking up to the front for the next set of instructions. "All you have to do for this one is bounce slightly. This can help decrease back pain, and relieve pressure in your pelvis and abdomen. It can even shorten the process of labor." You did as she said, bouncing a little. "Having fun there?" Harry smiled, looking down at you. "So much fun," you quipped. "I could do this all day." After a few more minutes on the ball, and then learning several other positions, you were ready for a break. Thankfully, the other expectant mothers seemed to feel the same, and Sandy noticed. "Why don't we take a few minutes, just talk with your partner or some other couples, and then we'll regroup after that." She said, leaving you to your own devices for the time being. You sighed, leaning against Harry again. You were in the same position as you had been while doing the breathing exercises, and so were the other couples. You turned to the couple to your left, deciding to start a conversation. "How has the whole pregnancy thing been for you?" You asked. "Honestly, not too bad," the woman, whose name you had learned was Chloe, informed you. "I think William has been more stressed than I have." She patted his shoulder with a small smile. He grinned sheepishly behind her. He was the one Harry had said looked ready to bolt, but he looked much more relaxed now. "Hey, don't blame me, I'm just trying to stay informed. It's not my fault I keep stumbling upon all these horrible things." You laughed at this. "Harry's the same way. Aren't you, baby?" He smiled, blushing lightly. "He's right, there's a lot of horrible things. It's a bit scary, if I'm being honest." "Right!" William said, eyes going wide. "But it's not like I'm going to say anything about it, I'm not the

one giving birth." "Exactly!" Harry nodded. His hands were absentmindedly rubbing over your belly, so light that you weren't even sure he was aware of it. "We should have met up sooner, mate. We have a lot in common. But someone didn't want to come to the birthing class." You smiled, hitting his arm playfully. "I didn't think it was worth it, but I'm kind of glad you convinced me. This has been pretty helpful." "Chloe didn't want to come either," William laughed. "I think she just gave in because I was so stressed." "Yeah, I was sick of you freaking out every five minutes," she joked, leaning back against him. "Not every five minutes," he rolled his eyes. "Maybe every other day. Maybe." "Mhm," she narrowed her eyes at him, before they both broke into smiles. Harry kissed your cheek again, nuzzling his nose against you. "What are you doing?" You giggled, turning your head away from his tickling touch. "I just love you so much," He said quietly. "You're amazing." He spoke a little louder then, directing it toward Chloe and William. "She really is amazing, though. She had the worst morning sickness. But you got through it, didn't you?" He smiled, kissing your cheek again. "My amazing wife." Chloe nodded. "Mine was terrible in the first trimester. We almost had to go in to the hospital once, I was so dehydrated. Couldn't keep anything down." "That's how mine was, too. The only thing I could stand to eat was pickles." "Which is odd, since you used to hate pickles," Harry reminded you. "I did," you laughed. "But then one night I woke up and just had to have them. We didn't even have any in the house, Harry had to go out at three in the morning to get me some." William smiled. "I did quite a bit of that, too. Babies have weird cravings, don't they?" You and Chloe both nodded. "But I'm very thankful for my lovely husband, who is willing to get up and go to the store in the middle of the night for me," you smiled. This time it was you who kissed Harry's cheek. "Anything for my love," he said, blushing again. "Are we ready to get started again?" Sandy asked, raising her voice over the chatter in the room. "We just have a few more activities. Next, we'll go over how to put a diaper on a baby." "Oh, I'm so ready for this," Harry said quietly. He wasn't lying. He had been practicing for at least five months. When he first found out you were pregnant, he had gone to the store and bought a baby doll and a pack of diapers. He had carried the doll all over the house with him, figuring out the best way to hold it and rock it and burp it and- most importantly- diaper it. He was basically an expert at this point. Two baskets were passed around- one full of dolls, and one with diapers. Harry had the diaper on your baby before Sandy even gave any instructions. He looked up at you, incredibly proud of himself. "Good job," you smiled. "You're an expert." "Pretty much," he nodded. "I'm basically ready to be a father, I think." "Definitely," you agreed. Once everyone had figured out this step, Sandy informed it was time to move on to the last activity. "Lastly, we will be watching the miracle of life video. You might have seen this in your high school health class, but it's never a bad idea to revisit this, just for an idea of what to expect." Harry, who had been very calm and collected during this class, suddenly seemed nervous. He shifted around, tightening his arms around you and laying his chin on your shoulder again. "You alright?" You whispered, putting your hands on his forearms. He nodded, his eyes glued to the screen as the video started. You could practically feel his eyes going wide as you watched the baby being born. Each time you glanced back at him, he had the same look of mild horror on his face. Once it was over, and the woman onscreen was holding her baby, he seemed calm again. "If there are no questions, I think we'll wrap up for today," Sandy said as she turned off the TV. "Thank you all for coming! I hope you learned a lot and had some of your fears eased." "Um, I have a question,"

Harry said meekly. "How does... um... I can't help but notice... that baby's head seemed... much too large to come out of such a small place." Your face felt like it was on fire as he spoke. Your dropped your head, resting it in your hands as the instructor turned to look at him. "I just don't... what if the baby gets stuck?" "Oh my god," you mumbled, shaking your head. "Actually, that's a question many new parents have," Sandy assured him. You finally lifted your head, noticing many of the other dads were paying close attention. They seemed to have the same thought in their minds, but apparently only Harry was bold enough to actually say anything. "It can seem very scary, but the skin in that area is made to stretch in this way. Some women do have tearing, but this happens less often now that doctors know how to properly support the area. And as for the worry of the baby getting stuck, that's also something that happens very rarely. There are several methods doctors can use to deliver the baby in that case. But you really don't have to worry too much; your wife is in excellent hands. Our doctors here are first rate, and they are highly trained to handle any kind of complications." Harry nodded, looking much less worried as helped you stand up. You both waved at the couple you had made friends with, before thanking the instructor and making your way out the door. You shook your head as he opened your car door for you. "Really, Harry?" you sighed as he got in and buckled his seatbelt. "What if the baby gets stuck?" "Hey, it's a valid question!" He defended himself as he backed out of the parking spot. "You heard her. It's a question that many new parents have." You shook your head again, but didn't say anything back. You did feel a little bad for him. The video had been slightly disturbing, even for you. And you already knew exactly how it was going to go. "Well, thank you for making me go to that," you said. "I do feel more prepared now." "Me too," he smiled. "And I feel better knowing that I'm better than those other dads there." "It's not like it's a competition," you laughed. "No, not a competition, I just can't let them win." "Right, makes sense." He nodded. "But really, I'm so excited. I can't wait to meet our little baby." "I know, I can't either," you smiled, resting your hands on your belly again. "She hears you talking. She's kicking like earlier." "Is she? She's excited to meet me too." "She is," you agreed. "We're going to be the best parents. But first, we need to get McDonald's. She's telling me that's what she wants." "Oh, is she?" He smiled as he got into the turn lane for the restaurant. "Well, who am I to deny what my baby wants?"

#harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #harry styles/reader #harry styles/y/n #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harry styles/y/n fanfiction #dad!harry #stevie #stevie fics #one direction #one direction fanfiction

[hattywatch]

K. Hayes -  All My Own in a Big Red Bow

A/N: This is for @hockeyandtaylorswift​, for Christmas. She requested it and I love her and she deserves the world. Also I posted this on my phone so I could get it out asap. Sorry if the formatting suffered.

Prompts:

23. “Chocolate chip is the only cookie that matters.”

24. “Is this the part where we kiss?”

"Kris, are you sure? I don't want to make it awkward. I'll be the only one from your side there." Your sister scoffs into the phone. 

"Babe, it's fine. You know how they Hayeses are. The more the merrier." You do know this. Your sister's in-laws are incredibly warm. They invited you to a pool party this past summer and  text you for your birthday.

You're right. I'm still just a little annoyed that Mom and Dad felt the need to have their midlife-crisis now and jet off to a tropical island for Christmas. They couldn't wait a week?" You hear Kris hum and there's a cry in the background. 

"I'll let you get back to it. Keep my nephew happy. I'll see you tomorrow." Kristen reminds you of the time and tells you to bring pajamas and an overnight bag so you don't have to go home and when you hear the door to the nursery and the baby's cries get louder you assure her that you've got it and hurry her off the phone. 

It could be worse; you'll be with your sister for Christmas at least. You can't really blame your parents. When they made the plans months ago you were still with your ex and planning to travel out of state to see his family, but that was months ago and you'd really rather not be alone on Christmas. The flip side is you'll spend it with your sister's perfect little family, which you're happy about, but obviously a little envious you haven't been able to find your own prince charming yet. They don't make them like Jimmy anymore, obviously. 

_______

When you get to Kris and Jimmy's house the next day you immediately relieve her of the baby, delighted to bounce him around the house on your hip and make silly noises at him. 

Glad you came to see me. I feel really special," Kris yells across the kitchen to you as she mixes up a batch of cookies for later. 

"Don't make me choose, you won't like the outcome. You know where my love lies," you hold your nephew up high over your head and blow a raspberry with your lips, aiming for an engine noise but really just spitting all over yourself. The baby doesn't seem to care much and he giggles and coos before he's plucked from your hands. 

"How's my favorite little man? Huh? You excited for Santa tonight?" Kevin lights up as he talks to his nephew and you're not really sure if you want any kids of your own, but boy does a man who's good with kids punch you right in the ovary. 

"Hey! Give him back, we were playing airplane," you whine at Kevin, all the while smiling at his stupid ugly sweater. He plops a kiss down on the baby's fuzzy head and hands him back over to you. 

"Okay, but I'm next in line. Hand him right to me or I'll never get him. My mom's vicious." Nodding, you wink and promise Kevin exactly that. 

He pats you on your back and bends down to drop a kiss on your cheek, "Sorry, hi. Where's Dennis?" 

"Merry Christmas. I don't know. Hell?" 

Kristen snorts, obviously overhearing you. "Touchy subject, Kev." You roll your eyes. 

"It's not touchy, I'm just being grinchy. We broke up, that's all." Kevin lifts his eyebrows and nods. 

"I'd say sorry to hear it, but Jim said he's a douche." He sits down on the chair across the table from you. 

"Your brother is perceptive and wise beyond his years." Kris drops a bowl of dough on the table in between you and Kevin. 

"If you're in the kitchen, you're helping. Make these into balls and put them on this cookie sheet, please? I want to check on dinner." She walks away with the grace she's always had that you've never been able to emulate, floating on air.

Kevin washes his hands and stands over the table, balling up cookie dough and putting them far too close together on the cookie sheet. When you look over you notice something's missing. 

"Kris? Where are the chocolate chips?"

"They're sugar cookies. I ran out of chips," she calls from where she's bent down checking the roast in the oven. 

"Oh no. I'm running out then. Everyone knows chocolate chip is the only cookie that matters." She nods, placating you like only a big sister can.

"Be my guest. But give me the baby, I want to feed him so he'll take a nap before dinner." She scoops him up and his little face lights up at seeing his mother and your heart breaks with love. 

"Kev, you wanna come?" Glancing at him as you shrug on your coat, he's leaning over the sink washing his hands again, but looks up when you call his name. 

"For sure." He looks at you, brows drawn and mouth in a straight line, serious. "I hate sugar cookies." He gives you a big dopey grin and you are eternally happy your sister married into this family. 

_______

"Not sure how I ended up driving," Kevin backs out of the driveway, turning and looking behind him with his big hand on the back of your headrest. 

Making your eyes big and innocent you smile up at him, "Because you blocked me in and your truck is nicer than my car." You adjust the climate control on your side of the car and he lowers the radio from the buttons on the steering wheel.

"You wanna talk about Dennis?" He glances over at you at a red light and you want to sink into your seat. 

"There's not much to tell. He started seeing someone at work and hit me with it back in September. I just moved out and that was that." It's the truth. It was a pretty clean break, your name wasn't on the lease, you didn't have a pet or child together; it was as easy as packing up your clothes, a lamp and a coffee table and it's like you were never there. 

"You find a new place yet?" You didn't expect Kevin to be so interested in your break-up, but you do get along best with him out of all of your sister's in-laws. You're close in age, goofy, and all too happy to play the part of doting aunt and uncle. 

"Why, you looking for a roommate?" Kevin sighs like you just told a bad dad-joke, but you can see he's sincere so you back off. "Nah, I didn't, though. I'm just back with my parents for now until I can find something. The commute is killing me."

You unbuckle your seatbelt as he pulls into a space at the supermarket, he walks around the car to fall into stride next to you. "I have a place in Boston I never use if you want to use it. Just a one bedroom, but I could give you the key and you can pop in whenever you need it."

That's not what you were expecting, and you're stunned, but you say thank you and promise to let him know if you want to take him up on his offer. You only see Kevin a few times a year, but every time you leave, you wish he lived a little closer because you could see the two of you being good friends. 

He picks up a shopping basket and walks over to the refrigerated section. "You can't get a log of cookie dough, Kevin. That's cheating." 

He throws two in the basket. "I don't know how to make them from scratch. What do I look like, Emril?" You dig your hands into the basket and pull the logs of dough back out to put on the shelf. 

"I'll teach you. They're better from scratch." He concedes and follows you through the store as you call Kris and take inventory on what she has and what you need. Apparently she hasn't been shopping in forever because you need everything except flour.

It feels nice to do such a domestic chore with someone so silly. He tries to sneak sour patch kids into the basket while you're in the aisle looking for chocolate chips. "Are you kidding me?" He looks around like he has no idea who could have put the yellow bag of candy in your basket. 

"You're literally a professional athlete. How can you eat like this."  He cracks open the bag of sour patch kids and pops a cherry one into his mouth. His lips pucker a little at the tart flavor, but it fades quickly and he chews happily.

"Just lucky, I guess. Still have this rockin' bod." He flexes a bicep, but it's useless under his fluffy sweater. 

"You're an idiot," it is hilarious though, so you laugh and steal a sour patch from the open bag. "Let's go checkout, they're going to kick us out since you can't be trusted around a bag of candy."

You use self checkout and Kevin bags. He taps his Apple pay to the terminal before you can even get your credit card out of your wallet. 

"I got it." He shakes his head at you, "You're gunna teach me, so I'll provide the materials," he takes the bag and you walk to the car side by side. 

By the time you get back to your sister's house, you and Kevin are chatting happily about New Year's Eve plans after he mentions he'll be back in Boston for it. Maybe you want to see him again soon, so you don't hesitate to extend an invitation to the house party you're throwing while your parents are still sunning themselves on some exotic island. 

"I mean, it's just a small group of friends. I think Kris and your brother are going to stop by for a little," you think maybe you're not playing this cool enough so you back off a little. "You could bring a plus one, obviously. The more the merrier."

You walk into the house behind Kevin, who is still holding all of the bags, and he is pushed back into you abruptly, pinning you against the front door with his strong frame. 

"Uncle Kevin!" More Hayeses have arrived since you two left, apparently. He shifts the bags to his other hand and steps away from you, lifting up his niece and placing her on his hip."Hey pretty girl," he places a kiss on her fat little cheek and she giggles. 

"Can I ask you a secret?" She says it solemnly and he nods and turns his head so she can whisper into his ear. In true childhood fashion, she cannot whisper for shit. "Is that your girlfriend?" 

You laugh and steal the bags from Kevin's hands and head towards the rest of his family to kiss them hello. Jimmy chooses to answer her first, "That's Aunt Kris' sister." The little girl nods in appreciation at the new information. 

"She's pretty like Aunt Kris. Uncle Kevin, she can be your new girlfriend." He pulls one of her pigtails and lets her down to the floor, "I'll be sure to ask, thanks for the good advice." She seems happy with his response and resumes whatever game she was playing with her grandpa before Kevin interrupted; it looks like guess who. 

"Okay I'm going to make cookies, whoever would like to join is more than welcome." You finally make it to the kitchen and drop the bags on the island. Kevin is behind you a moment later. 

"Sorry, she really liked Brooke. It's kinda hard to explain to a kid," he's mumbling through a totally unnecessary apology so you just cut it short for him. 

"So you're not my new boyfriend? Is that what you're telling me? Because I don't appreciate you doing this on Christmas, Kevin. And in front of your family? Cheap shot." 

Placing your hand on your hip you cock it out and he laughs, "Okay, okay, we can stay together until Valentine's day but then we're through." 

"That's fair," you hold out your hand and shake his, biting back a laugh. 

______

A half hour later finds you and Kevin rolling up your dough into balls and dropping it onto a baking sheet.

"These are way too close together. You know they expand when you bake them, right?" You go back over all the ones he did spreading them out.

"I don't know shit, look at me," looking up you see him holding out his hands gesturing to his sweater, which is covered in flour, white dusted all over navy blue. 

You're staring at him and laughing when he reaches his hands behind his head and pulls the sweater over the back of his head and off and you maybe forget that it's rude to stare. He's wearing an undershirt, stark white against his skin, but it creeps up a bit as he's shucking clothes and you catch a peek of toned abs and have to avert your gaze before you make this sufficiently awkward. 

By the time he's gotten his big, fat head out of his sweater you've gone back to spacing out the dough and doing your best to be cool. Like, you've obviously seen some abs before, they just haven't been attached to someone you actually enjoy and are maybe a little… attracted to?

This is a bad time for this revelation. 

It continues to be a bad time for this revelation when his niece wanders into the room all changed into Christmas PJs. "Uncle Kevin," she tugs on his t-shirt, "I want to make cookies for Santa too." 

He scoops her up and sits her on the counter next to the bowl. "Okay, watch how (Y/n) does it. She's a pro, taught me everything I know." He winks over at you and you grab a fresh baking sheet as he helps her wash her hands over the sink. 

"Okay, first we take a little bit of dough like this," you grab a piece for you and a piece for her, but then Kevin holds out his hand too, so you grab another piece and place it in his outstretched hand. "Then we roll it up like this," you roll the dough in between flat palms and make it into a little ball. 

"Wow," you see her doughy little hands making a wobbly shaped sphere and look at her amazed, "are you sure you haven't done this before? You're a natural!" She grins at you before turning to Kevin, who wears a matching mask of amazement. 

"I never did this before, Uncle Kevin. Look I'm doing good!" He's got so much love in his eyes for his family that you can barely look at the two of them without your eyes watering.

After you pop the tray in the oven you all sit down for dinner, which is just everyone shouting over each other trying to be heard while passing the mashed potatoes around the table. 

Kevin sits next to you on one side and his mom is on your other. She keeps glancing over as you chat with her son and you're feeling as self conscious as ever as she smiles at you when you start helping Kris clear the table for dessert. 

She's whispering conspiratorially to Kevin over your empty chair as you place the mountain of chocolate chip cookies in front of him. He looks miserable. 

Eventually the crowd thins out. Most of Jimmy's family lives close by in the suburbs and they'll be back early tomorrow. Apparently it's just you can Kevin spending the night, since he didn't want to drive back into the city. 

When it's just you, Kris, Jimmy, and Kevin left, the baby long since put the bed, you all leave the dining room in favor of the cushy couches in the living room. You pick up the remote and scroll through the channels before putting on A Charlie Brown Christmas. 

"Classic," Kevin turns his head towards you from where he's reclined on the couch to your right. 

About halfway through, Kris yawns. She exhausted and you understand, but you never could fall asleep on Christmas Eve. "Go to bed, Krissy. We can take care of ourselves. You out-hosted yourself today, you earned it." 

Jimmy stands and pulls her up off of the couch, "Let's go momma Hayes." She complies to him with no hesitation. Before she's halfway out of the room she's turns around and grabs a fleece blanket off of the decorative ladder against the wall and walks back to throw it over you. 

"Kevin called the guest room. You get the couch," she leans down and kisses you on the cheek. "Love you," she hugs you before scampering off to get waiting husband. 

You pause Charlie Brown. "You called the guest room, you absolute child??"

"We can share." He says it low, sleepy and raspy and from the back of his throat. 

Choosing to ignore the warmth it sends through you, you pull the blankets up to your chin, "Bully."

Charlie Brown ends and Kevin pulls the the remote from your hand. "Let's make hot chocolate."

You follow behind him on stocking feet, quiet not to wake the baby or your sister. But then Kevin gets out a pot and pulls cocoa from a pantry and this is no Swiss Miss situation. So, you push yourself up onto the counter next to the stove and watch him move quietly about the kitchen. 

"But you didn't know how to make cookies," you accuse. 

"This is a secret family recipe." He adds all of the ingredients into the pot before opening the cabinet and hiding whatever he reached for in his big hand; he covers your eyes with the other and you can hear something get added to the pot before a cabinet door closes and you see Kevin stirring with a wooden spoon, looking at you. 

"Secret ingredient. You can't know it." You bite the inside of your cheek and push your hair back off of your face. 

"Is it Vanilla extract?" The smug look flattens out in his face and he squints his eyes at you. 

"You're the devil." You laugh, leaning back on the counter before hopping down and over to the fridge. 

"Do you think they have whipped cream" you're hopeful your sister would keep it on hand. 

"Bottom shelf on the door," he's right and you spot it straight away. 

He keeps stirring the cocoa and you pop back onto the counter and uncap the whipped cream before squeezing some out on the back of your hand. You slurp it off and point the can at Kevin when he looks over at you, still licking the back of your hand. 

He tips his head back and opens his mouth, "No, gross you're not putting your mouth all over the nozzle." You slap at his shoulder. 

"I have to stir the cocoa, (y/n)." 

It sounds like a line and you're just about delirious enough to accept it, so you squeeze out a dollop onto the back of your other hand and put it in front of his face. 

He tips his head down and sucks it up, and it's a lot less sexy than you imagined this whole exchange would be, but his eyes do catch yours and they're warm in a way that has nothing to do with the flame on the range. 

The pot on the stove starts to boil and he turns off the heat and starts looking for mugs, while you try to figure out what the fuck you're doing hitting on your sister's brother-in-law. 

He hands you a mug and starts to pour into it when you look up and see his stubble is coated in whipped cream. 

"Uh, Kev," he put the pot gently back on the stove, "you've got a little," you gesture to above your lip, "here." He must be purposely obtuse when he attempts to get it off, missing entirely despite the size of his hand. 

"No, here," you gesture again and this time he tries with his tongue, still missing the sugary cream by a mile. 

"Help a guy out," is what comes out of his mouth. Not one to miss a golden opportunity, you lean over and run your thumb along his upper lip, corralling it. He tips his head up before you can pull your hand away and kisses it softly. 

You tilt your head sideways, trying to figure out your next step, but all you can come up with is to outright ask, “Is this the part where we kiss?"

He nods soberly and steps in-between your knees where you sit on the counter, hot chocolate forgotten on the island behind him, and presses his lips to yours. 

His lips taste like Christmas, sugary sweet and decadent like the cocoa on the stove. You wind your hands up into his hair, thankful that you're propped up on the counter since he's so much taller than you, you're not sure if you'd reach otherwise. 

When his hands slide down from your waist to your hips you bite into his bottom lip and hear two things. 

The first is a little moan, which you're sure came from Kevin, since you could feel it against your own mouth. 

The second sounds distinctly like the clearing of a throat and came from somewhere to the left near the fridge. You gently back away from Kevin, head against the cabinet behind you and spot Jimmy, wide-eyed, but smirking, and holding a water bottle. 

"Just wanted a drink," he holds the bottle up. "You guys can, uh- share the guest room… Just keep it down, it shares a wall with the baby's room." He practically swaggers away and you drop your head to Kevin's chest. 

"Shit." 

The next sound you hear is your sister screeching your name from her bedroom, closely followed by the resulting cry of a woken baby, and lastly Kevin laughing, clear and bubbling up through his chest where you're leaning. 

"Yikes, tomorrow is going to be fun." He kisses the top of your head and helps you down from the counter. Fun indeed. 

#kevin hayes fic #writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #philadelphia flyers fic #philadelphia flyers imagine

[meetmeinthematinee]

Torn

AN: Probs going to be a multichapter fic so have no fear, while this is fluffy there is a 100% chance of smut in the future. 

A botched bookbinding attempt leads to a meet-cute for John Wick and small paper shop owner Kristen.

“Motherfucker!” John was frustrated. He had just ripped a page in the book he was supposed to be restoring. He leaned back hard against his chair and covered his face with his hands. He stayed that way for a moment, not quite ready to survey the damage. As he slid his hands down his face he opened his eyes and leaned forward, taking in a breath as he looked over the ragged inch long tear. It’s not too bad he thought. It wasn’t great, obviously, considering it was a pricey tome that he had planned on keeping for himself -- but it was fixable. He sulked for another moment before getting up and gathering the supplies he’d need for the repair job. He kept everything neatly arranged in the cabinet under the counter top across from his workbench. He pulled out the paste and brush he’d use to seal up the tear but came up empty handed when he went to grab the vellum needed to smooth everything out. “Fuck!” He exclaimed as he slammed the cabinet shut.

Normally he ordered everything from an online paper restoration dealer but he really didn’t feel like putting the project on hold for the week it would take for shipping. He glanced at his watch. It was 11:30AM. Plenty of time to go hunt down some vellum from somewhere he thought as his stomach growled. “And lunch.” He said that last part aloud to no one in particular. Since losing Helen meals had become a chore -- one he often forgot about entirely. He spread his hands out in front of him and leaned against the counter for support. It had been a year and change since he’d lost her and the dog and the car and the house and ultimately his retirement. He inhaled deeply through his nose and exhaled through his mouth slowly. Trying to fight against the wave of grief crashing over him. He laughed bitterly to himself as he realised he was using his tactical training -- box breathing -- to regain his composure and slow his racing thoughts. After a minute he pushed away from the counter and headed upstairs.

None of the big box craft stores had what he needed. As a last ditch effort at salvaging this disaster of a day he pulled out his phone and searched for a paper store. There was one not too far from where he was now. “Perfect.” He muttered before slipping his phone back into his pocket and peeling out of the parking lot.

He was hungry and irritated by the time he got into the shop. He didn’t even hear the friendly greeting called out by the person behind the register when he walked in. An entire wall of the shop was filled with wooden cubby like shelving that held what seemed like hundreds of kinds of paper in every colour one could ever think of. That’s a hopeful sign he thought as he made a beeline for it. He scanned the wall for what he was looking for and was startled when he heard a voice next to him. “Are you looking for something in particular?” “Vellum” he replied a little bit sharper than he intended. He was rattled. How the hell did she get so close without me noticing? He wondered. Was he quiet, yes. A Man of few words? Notoriously so. The kind to not pay attention and get crept up on in a fucking paper store? Absolutely not. “Uhh, ok.” She replied. “Is there a particular colour you’re looking for? All our vellum is in this section here.” She pointed and when he nodded in response she walked back over to her spot at the register. He went over and pulled out a stack of plain white vellum and then did a bit of browsing around before settling on a couple of Japanese brush tip pens to go with his paper. She was behind the register folding up a small bright green piece of paper. He watched for a moment before stepping forward and putting his items down. “Does your boss mind you making things on the clock?” He asked. She groaned inwardly, looked up from her small project and laughed. “That’s one of the many perks of owning your own shop” She said with a tight smile. He looked sheepishly away from her. She must think I’m a gigantic asshole he thought to himself. “So, do you draw?” She said eyeing the thick stack of vellum. He looked at her again and said “I bind and restore books.” Her eyes widened in surprise and lit up with delight. “That’s fascinating! I’d love to see your work sometime.” She blurted out. He nodded. “I can do that.” He said after a moment. He paid for his items and she handed him the tiny, bright green origami dog she had made along with her business card. The bells over the door tinkled as he stepped back out into the world.

John was still feeling off balance. Food. You need to eat he thought to himself. He stopped at his favourite cafe, a French spot that had the best ham and cheese sandwiches and a cozy walled in patio out back of the place. He ordered a sandwich along with an iced coffee and an almond croissant for later on. I mean, I’m here -- I might as well he decided. There was a free spot on the back patio so he settled into a chair and made quick work of the sandwich. He enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his shoulders as he finished the rest of his iced coffee occasionally swirling the ice around in the glass absentmindedly while he watched the only entrance from behind the safety of his dark sunglasses.

He pulled out his house keys to unlock the door and caught a flash of green as something fell out of his pocket. He bent down and picked up the origami dog that the woman from the paper shop had given him. He turned it over in his hands and shook his head as he stepped inside to be greeted by an overexcited Dog. Kicking off his shoes he dropped everything on the counter and knelt to give Dog some much needed attention. “Yes, I’m home.” “Good boy.” He said as he scratched behind Dog’s ears as the pup desperately tried to lick his face. He stood up with a huff and headed back down to his basement workshop.

The fact that the tear was so ragged actually made the repair job easier. A clean slice was much more challenging to fix. He thought about how the opposite held true for human beings. A clean slice was easy to stitch up and would heal nicely. A ragged tear would be a challenge to close up and would heal into a very visible scar. There was some overlap between the skill set he used for work and his hobby but the differences were what made it so fulfilling. Work was all precision and speed, brutal and visceral destruction. Book binding also required precision but it allowed him to take something that was on the verge of destruction and pull it back from the brink -- restoring it lovingly and giving it life anew. It was slow, meditative work that was tactile and creative but in a very structured way.

As he waited for the paste to dry he found his mind wandering again to the woman at the shop. How she had flown right under his radar? How had she made him feel so vulnerable without even realising it. What the hell was that about? He could barely admit to himself that something in his chest jumped when she smiled so warmly with excitement in her eyes over his hobby -- especially after he had been so rude earlier. That off balance feeling returned again and this time well fed and safely alone at home he realised he had felt it before. When he had met Helen. Fuck.

He threw himself into work for the next few weeks. Taking job after job hoping that the more time that passed since his visit there would mean he’d think about her less and would shake that feeling. It hadn’t worked. At night, when he was alone, his thoughts would drift to her and he’d feel ridiculous for it. He was a grown man not some heartsick teenage boy. He knew absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that she owned a business. For all he knew she wasn’t even single. He hoped she was and at the same time desperately hoped she wasn’t. Especially since there was no getting out this time. That much had been made crystal clear to him and was part of the reason he had so many jobs. He had killed so many people in the weeks after Helen’s death that many of the best had been eliminated from the business. The high table was struggling to find good, qualified help so they eventually stopped sending people after him. He had single-handedly wiped out a generation of killers and not an insignificant number of their trainers either.

John was sprawled on the couch with a book when Dog trotted into the room making some munching sounds. He was a good dog but he did love to chew the occasional thing when John had been away too long. A bit of bright green was poking out of Dog’s teeth. “Give!” John got up and pulled the now drool soaked paper from his mouth. “Where did you get this?” he wondered aloud as he pinched the slobbery little origami dog between his fingers. He threw it in the garbage and stood for a moment thinking about her. It’s time to put a stop to this nonsense he thought grabbing his car keys. Padding down into the basement he picked up the now fully restored book he had been working on when he’d met her and slid it into his leather bag.

The bells over the door jangled as he walked in and narrowly avoided tripping over a small dog that was wandering around near the door. “Gremlin, bed!” She said and pointed toward the counter. The little thing sauntered away from John slowly. “Sorry about that, vellum” she said with a smirk. “Gremlin over there is a cautionary tale on why you should name your pets carefully. He lives up to his name a little too much sometimes.” John shook his head a little and arched a brow. “Vellum?” He asked. “Yeah, you never introduced yourself when you were here last.” She said as a hint of pink spread across her cheeks. “John.” He said warmly and extended a hand. “Kristen” she said as she slid her hand into his for a shake. Her grip was firm, confident and that smile returned to her face. “So John, what do you need today?” She asked letting go of his hand. “Just you.” He thought, but it actually came out of his mouth instead. He froze realising what had happened. Kristen was taken aback at his directness. In the weeks since this handsome but brusque man came into her shop she found herself hoping he’d reappear, newly bound book in hand. She wasn’t prepared for this though. He cleared his throat. “What I meant was” he said slowly, staring down at her. “I was just about to leave and get a coffee. Would you like to join me?” She said cutting him off mid sentence while gracefully letting him off the hook at the same time. He was quiet for a moment, relaxing the death grip he had on the strap of his leather bag. She could have sworn she saw a slight blush ghost across his face. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He replied. Kristen turned and called out “Steph!” “Yeah?” Came a voice from somewhere at the back of the shop. Where’d they come from he wondered. He hadn’t even noticed that someone else was in there with them. “Steph, I’m going to take my break now ok? Be sure to keep an eye on Gremlin. He’s trying to trip people again.” A short dark haired and heavily tattooed 20 something popped into view. “You’re not taking him with -- oh.” She said when she looked up from the box she was carrying and saw John standing somewhat awkwardly by the counter. “Gotcha boss, take your time.” Steph said with an amused smirk. Grabbing her purse Kristen headed out the door with John.

There was a small cafe a few doors down from the shop. Noticing a table was free Kristen gestured to it. “If you snag the table I’ll get our stuff, what would you like? They have really great scones here.” She offered. John held up his hands. “No. It’s on me. What’s your usual?” He countered with a smile. She shook her head slightly. “Fine, but only because we’re holding up the line.” She laughed. “I’ll have a coffee and a lemon poppy seed scone, please.” He smiled and headed off to put in their order as she laid claim to their table.

He reappeared with both coffees and two scones balanced in his hands. “Show off.” She teased playfully as he set everything down. He just shrugged and smirked at her. Her hand brushed his as he passed her the coffee and Kristen’s heart sank when she caught sight of the wedding ring on his finger. She hadn’t noticed it before. Of course. She thought to herself. Of course he’s married. She felt incredibly foolish all of a sudden. She pointed at his scone “Goat cheese and chive?” John nodded. “I’m more of a sweet over savoury guy but this looked too good to pass up.” He said with a smile. “Are you a sweet guy though?” She asked him rather pointedly. “Depends on who you ask.” He said heavily, his smile vanishing from his face. She could see how hurt he looked but she continued anyway. “I mean, maybe I read this whole thing wrong and if so that’s on me but I’m 99% sure this is halfway to a date, yes?” John’s face clouded with confusion. “You’re not wrong.” He admitted staring into his coffee. He finally made eye contact with her and watched her grow irritated. “I don’t understand.” He said. “Listen John, people have different arrangements and that’s fine but I’m not interested.” She cast a pointed glare at his wedding ring and went to stand. Before she could he grabbed her hand quickly. “Please stay” he said quietly, almost shyly. “I’ll explain.” The amount of pain in his eyes was clear enough for her to see. Either this guy is a sociopath and is about to tell me some next level lies, she thought, or he’s been through some shit. She was hoping for the latter. “I’ll stay but I would like my hand back.” She shot him a hesitant smile. I’m really fucking this up he thought. He let go of her hand and took a long sip of his coffee.

“I was married and those five years we had together were the happiest in my life. She meant absolutely everything to me. Everything.” He said quietly. He was talking so lowly that she could barely hear him over the din of the cafe so she leaned in closer, not wanting to interrupt him. John cleared his throat and looked up at her. “Helen died a year and a half ago.” Her name caught in his throat and he felt like someone had just landed a crushing blow against his sternum. “I’m still wearing my ring because I.” The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable to witness. Kristen felt relief followed immediately by a wave of guilt for it. She put her hand over his and gently ran her thumb across his knuckles. “I’m sorry for your loss John.” She said simply, not to cut him off but to make it clear she understood. He covered her hand with his and she smiled softly at him but didn’t move away. They sat like that for a few more moments until he chuckled softly. She eyed him curiously, not knowing how to respond. “If this is halfway to a date your scone choice is a bold one.” he said stealing a piece off of it and popping it into his mouth. “What’s bold about lemon popp--oh” she broke off and laughed. “After accusing you of being a philanderous scoundrel I think poppy seeds in my teeth are the least of my worries right now.” She grimaced. John laughed warmly at that. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand. “Never apologise for having boundaries. You look out for yourself. I respect that.” He said, squeezing her hand. She grinned broadly at him and her eyes crinkled softy at their edges, happiness illuminating her face. She was absolutely stunning.

“I brought that book I bound -- if you’d like to see it.” He offered. Kristen checked her phone. “Oh shoot! It’s nearly closing time -- would you mind showing me at the shop?” She asked. “No, I don’t mind at all.” “After you.” He said.

The bells jangled over the door as they walked in and Gremlin came scrambling over. John laughed as the tiny dog slid on the floor. “What is he?” He asked furrowing his brow. “He’s a chug.” “A what?” “A Chihuahua - Pug” You and Steph answered in unison. He smiled and shook his head. “I think my dog is at least 5 of Gremlin” “Oh! What kind of dog is it?” She practically cooed. “It’s a pit-bull, his name is...Dog.” John said with a laugh. Kristen grinned again. “They’re such sweethearts!” Steph cleared her throat “Well, I’m off! See you tomorrow, 10AM right?” “Yep! Thanks for your work today, I’ll see you tomorrow Steph.” Kristen said with a wave.

John waited by the counter while Kristen flipped the sign and locked the door. He watched the way she moved across the shop. Her confident stride punctuated by the sway of her hips. She was much shorter than him and her dark jeans hugged her in a way that had John thinking about what it would feel like to wrap his hands around her waist and feel her soft skin under his fingers as he pulled her against him. Fuck. It had been a long time since he had felt this way about anyone.

She appeared at his side with Gremlin not far behind. “Let’s go to my office -- I don’t want people to think the shop’s open.” She suggested. She grabbed his hand and lead him through the door at the back of the shop. They settled onto the small couch across from her desk. John carefully pulled his book from his bag and took out his phone to show her a couple of pre-restoration photos and explain his process. “Wow.” She marvelled. “May I?” She asked with her hands poised over the book. John smiled and nodded. She gently ran her hands over the oxblood leather, traced her fingers over the gold leafed vine pattern and then gently lifted the cover. The first page read ‘This book was bound by John Wick’. She smiled up at him and bumped his shoulder with hers. “This is so gorgeous John” “Thanks.” he replied sheepishly. He never knew what to do with the kind words of others. Even with Helen he always shrugged them off but now that she was gone and those kind words were absent from his life he realised how much he missed them. Kristen brought him back from his thoughts by reaching out and gently cupping his face with her hand. “Hey”, she said softly “Thank you for showing me your book.” The feel of his beard and his strong jaw underneath against her hand lit a fire inside her. She imagined him pressing his face into her neck, his hands lifting her up onto the counter and. Her daydream was interrupted by the feeling of his mouth gently pressing against hers. The distant but lusty look in her eyes hadn’t escaped his notice. He brought a hand up to her face and pulled her closer to him with the other. Their kisses were hesitant and slow at first -- almost as if they were waiting for the other to pull away. Neither one did and when John gently took Kristen's lower lip between his teeth she slid her arms around him tightly, opening her mouth and deepening their kiss. It was only when Gremlin growled that they parted and Kristen blushed deeply. “Sorry, Gremlin gets uh, overly protective sometimes.” She said with a tight smile. “He’s doing his job then.” He murmured before leaning in to kiss her on the forehead. He knew if he didn’t leave right that minute he wouldn’t leave at all. “I should go.” He whispered softly before kissing her again. Everything in his body was screaming STAY but he just couldn’t. Not yet. She nodded in reply. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I’m sorry. I’m just not--” He stammered until she cut him off “John, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I understand.” His eyes widened a little. How was this woman so generous and so clearly fine with making herself vulnerable? He wondered to himself. It pushed him to give it a shot. “I’d like to see you again.” He stated. If anyone else had said that Kristen would have thought they were blowing her off but something in his eyes told her that he was serious. “I’d like that John. Very much.” Her eyes crinkled softly at the corners as her mouth spread into another wide grin. They exchanged numbers and gathered up their things. She leashed up Gremlin and all three walked in comfortable silence as they left the shop. As she locked up outside John slid an arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll text you.” He said with a grin. Kristen beamed back at him not quite believing the turn this day had taken. “You better!” She teased. “Thanks again for the coffee.” She leaned up and kissed him before turning and setting out with Gremlin, heading for home.

#john wick #John wick x OC #John Wick x OFC #John Wick / Original Female Character #john wick fanfic #john wick fic #john wick fluff #john wick fluff and eventual smut #multi chapter

[minghowjunwhy]

Love at First Interaction

Anon asked: SOULMATE AUS PLEASE YOURE AMAZING (Joshua minghao jun vernon please) they can be like short mini aus too :) 

Hell yeah I can do this and THANK YOU SO MUCH DAKFJDNKS

~

Pt.1

There was a chill to the air as you walked down the sidewalk. It was Thursday night and that meant it was your night to pick up dinner for you and your two roommates. The best part of this chore was that you got to pick the food. You knew what you were in the mood for, a big juicy burger. You shoved your hands in your pockets as you rounded the corner and feasted your eyes upon In-N-Out Burger. 

Looking through the front windows, you saw that the store was pretty busy for a Thursday night. You were determined to get a burger, so you opened the door and headed in. As you waited in line you scrolled through Instagram on your phone. Minutes passed and it was finally your time to give your order. You were given your receipt and turned to go wait in a booth but instead you walked straight into something and fell to the floor, the word fuck flying from your mouth. 

You opened your eyes and say a guy bent over, hand extended with a worried look on his face. 

“Are you alright, miss?” he asked genuinely. 

“Yeah, just clumsy,” you responded as you grabbed the hand he extended. You dusted your jeans off after standing and thanked the man. You looked over his face. Beautiful eyes with long lashes. Very distinct nose and sharp jawline. He was stunning. He was smirked and wore a questioning look. 

“What?” you asked.

“I asked for your name.” he stated matter-of-factly. 

“y/n,” you responded as warmth crept to your cheeks. 

“I’m Joshua,” he said. “and it’s lovely to meet you y/n” 

You both continued talking for a while about whatever came to mind. You just didn't want to stop talking. You exchanged numbers and before you knew it your roommate called you asking where the food was. You checked the time and saw you’ve been talking to Joshua for over an hour. You said goodbye and he said he would text you later. You walked home content with a bag of cold, soggy burgers in hand.

~

Pt. 2

Tomorrow was your best friend’s birthday and you still haven’t went shopping for him. You knew what he wanted but you just tend to procrastinate all of the time. So here you were, in the mall, twenty minutes before your shift at work. You obviously had no time to waste so you headed straight for the store you knew he liked clothes from, H&M. 

You started furiously flipping through clothes in the male section of the store, making small frustrated noises when things were falling off the racks because of how fast you were looking. There was no one else in this section other than some guy so you didn’t really care about your actions. 

You were going through the clearance rack, looking at the sweaters when you noticed him looking at you. You glanced in his direction and made direct eye contact with him. You quickly looked away and started checking price tags. You looked back at him a minute or two later to see him leisurely looking through some jeans. He was very tall compared to you. His limbs were long and so was his neck. His shoulders were broad and they fit him well. He was very handsome. You looked at his face and saw that his lips were pursed as if he was in deep thought. But that soon changed into a smirk and you looked up more and saw that he was looking directly at you as you checked him out. 

You took a sip from the latte you bought earlier, not breaking eye contact and then he winked at you. You started coughing, choking on your latte at this unexpected, blatant flirting from a stranger. After regaining the ability to breathe, you didn’t look at him and quickly remembered your need to hurry. You grabbed a couple of sweaters from the clearance rack and headed towards jeans which is where the random guy was standing. 

You were looking through the piles of jeans, trying your best not to look at the guy, searching for your friend’s pant size. As you found the perfect pair of pants you heard some rustling to your left where he was standing and you couldn’t resist looking over. He seemed to be checking all of his pockets extensively. He seemed really worried and then he looked at you and started to speak.

“Um.. hey, I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?” he asked, flashing an arrogant smile. You paused briefly and then began to laugh loudly and obnoxiously in his face. Tears were streaming and you were clutching your stomach. You just couldn’t fathom that someone said this in real life. It was ridiculous and he looked so serious searching his pockets. When you finished laughing and wiped your cheeks you looked at him with a smile and there was an expression of pure terror on his face. 

“Hand me your phone,” you said to him. When he did you added your name and number into his contacts. You grabbed the clothes you were purchasing and your latte and headed towards the cash register. 

“The name’s Minghao by the way” you heard behind you. 

~

Pt.3

The flowers had just begun to pop out of the thick layer of snow that covered the pathways around your city. Finally, you sighed to yourself, springtime. It showed up late this year, and honestly you were starting to wonder if it was ever going to make an appearance at all. You smiled as you looked down at the few purple flower buds you passed on your walk. 

All of your close friends went on vacations for this semester break, and it was pretty lonely without them. Just as you started to sadden, you saw a bright sign to your left. KRISTEN’S CANDY SHOP, it read. As if someone answered your silent prayer for an instant pick-me-up, here it was. You walked into the small shop and the bell above the dinged, announcing your presence. The walls and center were stocked full of all different kinds of candy. There was an entire row of jelly beans, sorted into flavors and organized into color order. It was a little slice of candy heaven. 

Another ding of the door caught your attention as you saw who entered the shop. His tan skin and height stood out among the crowd and it brought relief to you because you stood out as well. As you were pacing aisle after aisle, you finally found what you were looking for. Charleston chews. They were just about your favorite thing to eat in the world. As you reached for the half-filled bin, plotting to empty the entire thing, another hand bumped into yours. And out of all people it was Mr.Tall, Dark and Handsome.You quickly pulled your hand back closer to yourself and reached up to your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you muttered a slight “uh..sorry,” in his direction. And it was to your surprise that he also pulled his hand back and was blushing furiously. 

As you looked at him, you noticed that he had a little leaf in his hair. You mustered up some courage and raised your hand up to the top of his head, standing on you tiptoes as an attempt to help with the large height difference between the two of you. He watched you intently and seemed almost frozen in his place, except for the fact that he squatted down a little to assist you in your task. 

You pulled the leaf from his hair and into his line of vision and proudly stated “Its a leaf, and I’m y/n by the way,” flashing a grand smile at him. He took the leaf from your hand and repeated your name to himself. 

He looked at you with a small smile and said “I’m Jun and how would you like to split a Charleston chew?.” And although half a Charleston chew wasn’t exactly your goal for this trip to the candy store, you were content with the amount because that handsome boy’s smile was too beautiful to pass on. 

~

Pt.4

High school. The same old, boring routine. You were ready to graduate and explore the world. Not going to any college and just living your life the way it fell upon you, the way you discovered it. It was your dream. And that’s why you sat in the the small classroom staring out the window counting the days. 

You made a deal with your parents that if you got your diploma they would pay for a single plane ticket to wherever you wanted to go and the rest was up to you. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you were glad to take it. 

The teacher assistant walked into the classroom with a boy you’ve never seen before trailing behind her. She started talking but you couldn’t care to listen. You had your earbuds in, focusing on the drum-line because in your opinion it was the pest part of any good song. 

When you finally tuned into the world around you, the new face was plopped right next to you looking at you expectantly. You plucked out an earbud and blatantly asked “what,” at this poor boy. “I saaiiid  that my name is Hansol and I just moved here from California, what’s your name?” California? like in the US?? You thought to yourself. “uh hey, I’m y/n,” you responded, attempting to play it cool, but failing so easily when you started firing question after question at Hansol. He had this new view on the world that he could share with you, and this random seating arrangement blossomed into into something more.

#deadass listening to my I on repeat as I wrote these tbh #sorry it took so long #i almost inserted a spongebob meme when i said tall dark and handsome goondye #seventeen fanfic #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #seventeen mtl #seventeen #seventeen vernon #seventeen hansol #vernon #hansol #hansol vernon chwe #seventeen jun #junhui #seventeen the8 #seventeen minghao #the8 #minghao #xu minghao #seventeen joshua #seventeen jisoo #joshua #jisoo #joshua hong

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

Velaris (Part 3, Deleted Scene): Rhysand’s Mother

**Usually when I delete something, I just let it go entirely. This time I really didn’t want to do that. This segment just doesn’t fit with the tone I want to set for the upcoming chapter of “Velaris” (happy, Kristen, keep it happy), but I think it is really great all the same, so I decided to share it. The main chapter will be posted tomorrow, but here’s a little something that, again, I loved, but I don’t want to strike this darker tone.

Summary: On a winter morning in Velaris, Azriel remembers Rhysand’s mother.

Tagging the usual “Velaris” people, just in case they’d like to see:  @aelin-and-feyre​, @hellosparkyislove​, @illyrianinterrasen​, @my-ships-will-never-be-sank​, @wolffrising​, @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername​, @songbirdsbooks, @thanksforthememers

**If you are on mobile and cannot see the “Keep Reading” link, just scroll up and click on my URL**

Velaris (Part 3 Deleted Scene): Rhysand’s Mother

Sometimes your entire fate lies in something monumentally inconsequential.

Azriel’s fate once rested in a chamber pot and two idiots.

He had nothing in the camp when he arrived, nothing but his wit and the darkness that was his one true friend.

His Camp Lord was interested in his abilities as a Shadowsinger, but that didn’t earn him any special treatment. The Illyrian males training there were just as cruel as his brothers. They didn’t burn him, but they beat him, mocked his scrawny wings, his inability to fly, and even those horrific scars on his hands. They called him names he would never repeat, flaunted their prowess in the battle games, and never let him forget that he was a bastard, worthless to both Illyrian and faerie kind. When he slept in the middle of camp, he’d be woken with a stomping foot on his wings, a kick to the head, or to the males relieving themselves beside his head.

The nice ones- they just ignored him entirely.

After only a week, and despite the frigid winter air, Azriel had taken to sleeping off on his own at the edge of camp. He had only a bedroll and a thin blanket, but he had always been alone. Even at eleven, it was his natural state. So Azriel found an area behind the forge bellows and curled into a tight ball against the outer wall of the building.

The first night left him weak, pale, and shaking. His muscles felt too brittle as the Illyrians ran him through their drills and training. When the males made to pick on him, he barely responded. His mind felt slow, sluggish. A haze seemed to settle over him.

The next night, he tried sleeping near the laundry tent. It was still out of sight of the other males who tormented and tortured him, but he’d thought the laundry might provide some vital warmth in the cold.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

Sometime in the night, snow began to fall. By the time Azriel’s mind recognized it through the haze, he was half buried and too weak to move his arms or legs. His wings were a half-frozen agony- and thanks to his Illyrian blood they refused to go numb. Sometimes violent shaking wracked his body. Sometimes he was so still he wasn’t even sure if he was still breathing. 

He was cold, so damnably cold… The darkness swallowed him as his face was buried beneath snow, and Azriel knew he wasn’t going to make it to the dawn. Shadowsinger or no, he would be found buried and dead in the snow of the Illyrian Steppes.

Cauldron, he hoped they wouldn’t tell his mother. She’d cried, she was so happy he was finally escaping his father’s dungeons. He was going to be a real Illyrian warrior- and as a Shadowsinger it was possible even the High Lord himself might have a use for her little boy.

Don’t take that dream from her, he’d prayed, don’t tell her I died alone in the cold.

“Rhysand! Cassian! How many times do I have to tell you two to stop your bickering?!” A female voice had cut the air from one of the nearby cabins. The home of the High Lord’s bride and her son, “Finish your chores and get your asses in bed or neither of you gets to go to Starfall!”

Buried in the snow, Azriel couldn’t even understand the words.

Nor did he understand the murmured curses exchanged between the two as they stepped into the icy cold.

“I’m not walking all the way to the Cauldron-damned latrines with this!” one of them had grumbled as he carried a chamber pot.

“So just dump it here, dumbass. By morning it will be covered in snow and my mother won’t notice.”

“Not here, it’s too close. She’ll smell it. Let’s go around-“ Cassian had cursed soundly (and impressively) when his boot collided with something buried beneath the snow. The chamber pot flew out of his hand and hit the side of the laundry tent. Cassian had fallen hard and scraped his hand on something sharp beneath the ice.

Rhysand was laughing so hard he very nearly dropped the buckets of dirty bathing water, “You’re graceful, I’ll give you that.”

“Shove it up your ass, Lordling.” Cassian had growled, “I tripped on something.” He’d shoved up angrily from the ground and delivered a sound kick to whatever it was buried in the snow.

The agony of having his frozen wings fallen on had blinded Azriel’s mind. When Cassian added the vicious kick to his stomach, all he had been capable of was a quiet whimper through the pain.

“Wait- what was that?” Rhysand had snapped to attention in an instant.

Cassian looked down at whatever he’d tripped over. Where he’d caught himself on the ground he saw not dirt beneath the snow, but something leathery, and the obsidian edge of a talon. Where his foot had gone into Azriel’s stomach, even in the darkness, he could make out the outline of a small body. 

Cassian had given his wings a few hard flaps, sending the snow scattering just enough to reveal Azriel’s face. At the sight of the small boy’s blue skin, he’d loosed a vicious string of panicked curses, “Is he- is he dead?”

“Get mother, NOW.” With that, Rhysand had dropped his buckets and immediately shielded the area from snow and sent a wave to blast what ice he could away.

Azriel had no idea what was happening. All he knew was that there had been another kind of pain in his darkness, then someone was touching his face, gently prying open his eyes and covering his mouth to check for breathing. A beautiful female knelt over him with fear and concern mixed in her eyes. 

Even the barrel-chested jerk Cassian behind her seemed muted. Less vicious. He was hardly one of the nicer males who simply ignored Azriel, but he was never among the worst.

The female’s arms wrapped around him as she gently pried his body from his frozen bedroll. Cassian channeled his power through his siphons as best he could to warm the ground beneath Azriel’s wings so that he could be lifted. The female was speaking to him, trying to ask him something, but Azriel’s mind was too far gone to hear her. 

His vision blurred, his shadows wrapped around him tightly, and everything fell away.

He was cold, so cold when he awoke that for a long time Azriel was sure he was dead.

Then he heard a gentle female voice speaking.

“Slowly, Rhysand. You have to go very slowly, or else he could be hurt more.”

“Why can’t I just make the water warm? If it’s warm, he’s warm. Why put him in water at all?”

“Because that isn’t how it works. With winged fae, you need to be more delicate, so we use water. With humans- or those without wings- then you can use blankets. Slowly Rhysand, and focus on the water around his chest, not his arms or wings.” The female’s voice was patient and kind as she talked her son through the use of his power. 

Azriel’s eyes had slowly fluttered open to see Rhysand glaring at the water of a full bath with his brows furrowed. It was cold- but in minuscule steps it was warming and gradually bringing Azriel back with it.

“He’s waking up.” Cassian had been standing back with his arms crossed, monitoring, “Hey, you made me trip, runt.”

“Cassian,” the female’s voice was soft, but there was a warning in her tone that made the boy bite his tongue.

Rhysand dared a glance at Azriel’s eyes, “Is he going to survive?” His voice was softer than the young boy had ever heard. Some sort of hard edge was gone from his eyes, like a mask had been pulled off.

“You’ll be just fine.” The female had spoken to Azriel directly, “And I’ve already informed the Camp Lord that you will be moving in with us here. I’m not letting you out in the cold again.”

“Mother,” Rhysand had whined, “how many strays are you going to take in?”

“Rhysand!” she didn’t even look at her son as she stretched out her wings and knocked him sideways, “Apologize immediately.”

“But mother-“

She shot him a warning look as he put his hand back into the tub of water and resumed his gradual warming of the boy, “Fine. I’m sorry I called you a stray.” As soon as his mother’s attention returned to Azriel, both Rhysand and Cassian had stuck out their tongues at him.

“Don’t mind my boys, they’re Illyrian through-and-through.” She’d winked at Azriel, as if she could sense what he felt- he wasn’t Illyrian. He would never be Illyrian. She was the same- Illyrian in form, but not one of them. Not really.

While Rhysand had rolled his eyes, Azriel’s shadows whispered to him of something on Cassian’s own face. A flicker of both pain and love when the female said those words- ‘my boys’- and claimed him in the same breath as her own child. For all his bravado, Cassian was as much an outcast as Azriel, and he loved Rhysand’s mother for her kindness.

“I-I’m sorry I-“ his body was still too cold to allow speech, and his throat felt raw and jagged.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I-I, I don’t w-w-want-“

“You don’t want to be a burden? You don’t want special treatment?” It was Cassian who snorted when little Azriel nodded sheepishly, “Too late runt. I speak from personal experience: consider yourself adopted. Your our burden now.” 

“Or as she makes me call you, ‘brother’.” Rhysand snapped at Cassian.

‘Brother’. Everything in Azriel recoiled from that word. Brothers were cruel, sadistic monsters. Brothers brought only pain and misery. Brothers made you hate every living breath and pray for death. Brothers saw someone in a cage and made them a monstrous experiment.

If they were to be his brothers- if that hell awaited him again- then Azriel would crawl out of that tub and back out into the snow and ice to die.

The female had only smirked, “One day you’ll be happy to call them your brothers, Rhysand. Mark my words.”

“I-I d-don’t w-want-” Azriel’s eyes were wide with fear, and as he began to shake and try to force his frozen limbs to pull him from the tub, the mirth in that female’s eyes had faded. Even Rhysand and Cassian had swallowed whatever they were about to say and looked at the boy.

She’d put a hand on Azriel’s shoulder, holding him in the water with hardly any force. Even the weight of that hand alone was enough to sap the energy from Azriel’s body, “It’s alright, calm down.”

“I-I d-don’t w-want-” he could speak properly, couldn’t get the words past his chattering teeth. Azriel pulled his arms close, tucking his hands beneath his armpits even as he tried to wrap himself in shadows that refused to appear.

It was Rhysand who’d understood this time, “You have brothers, don’t you?” his voice was soft and fearful, “They did that to your hands?”

“Cauldron, I thought that was just because you’re a Shadowsinger. Someone did that to you?”

“Boys, now isn’t the time.” Pity shone bright on her face as Rhysand’s mother released Azriel. He didn’t try to stand, he just turned on his side in the tub, away from Rhysand. “Azriel, listen to me.” His entire being responded to the command of his High Lord’s mate, “I am never going to let anyone hurt you like that ever again. You are safe here, please let me help you.”

“No one is ever going to try that shit, not while we’re around.” Cassian had pledged without hesitation, then winced before Rhysand’s mother even shot him a glare, “I’m sorry. ‘Stuff’. No one is ever going to try that stuff while we’re around.”

“Azriel, I promise too, and I’ll teach you how to fight so you can destroy anyone who even tries to pick a fight ever again.” Rhysand’s voice was quiet and even at eleven it was filled with a sliver of the wrath he would one day unleash on the battlefields of Prythian.

Azriel hadn’t spoken, hadn’t moved out of his defensive position. It would be weeks yet before he learned to trust the other two boys. Until he was stronger, until he realized he was allowed to hate his father and half-brothers, Azriel was under the dutiful protection of Rhysand and Cassian.

It would be years yet before he could bring himself to call the two other males ‘brother’, but when he did the smiles on their faces was matched only by the pride and joy Rhysand’s mother wore.

When the sun had set on that dark, frigid night, he’d been alone in the world.

When it rose the next morning, if he realized it or not, Azriel had something he’d never known before:

A family.

——

Back then, Azriel had thought it a wonder and the truest mark of that female’s mercy- taking in two Illyrian’s to raise as her own.

Years later, when Rhysand’s father forced Azriel to serve as his spymaster and pet, his bitter heart thought his adopted mother was cunning- bringing the two most powerful Illyrians in history (one a Shadowsinger to boot) in as children and gifting her true son the tools to bring down his wretched father. It was hard to see any kindness in the world when one was forced to serve that Lord of Night.

After they found her and her daughter mutilated on the Illyrian Steppes, after Rhys and his father went blind in their wrath and slaughtered the Lord of Spring and his despicable sons, Azriel realized the true brilliance of that female. Her bright and hopeful smile, that warmth that drove her to protect two abandoned children in the camp-

For years they’d played into her hands without ever realizing it. Cassian and Azriel weren’t just projects or tools for Rhysand to use. The mission Rhysand’s mother gave Cassian and Azriel was something far, far greater… She’d asked them to save her son.

Every time the three boys wrestled or ran rampant and wild, the son of that cruel High Lord was laughing alongside two lowly lesser-fae bastards. Every time they argued, what might have one day been an arrogant, vicious male was being put in his place by two boys his father wouldn’t have given even half a glance to. 

Yes, Cassian and Azriel were the two most powerful Illyrians in history, a perfect complement to the most powerful High Lord in history, but they were also two boys who culture and tradition said Rhysand should dismiss entirely.

Azriel wasn’t an act of pity or a weapon. He was exactly what Rhysand’s mother had always asked him to be- a brother. Someone to both support Rhysand and keep him in touch with reality. Someone who could talk back to him, fight him- something Rhysand’s father never allowed.

Snow fell across Velaris, blanketing the city on one of the Night Court’s holiest of days, but Azriel saw only the snow that had buried him in that camp so long ago. He remembered the female- the mother- who could only exist in his memory.

“I miss her.” He said to the empty townhouse as he rubbed at that sliver of ice her death had put in his heart. “Even five hundred years later… I miss her.”

Azriel looked to the lantern sitting beside his chair. As the years rolled by, as the spell took hold, that inky blackness had been marked by the very occasional rumble of red from within. Amren was fairly positive Rhys had no sense of their presence, but Azriel knew he wasn’t the only one who found themselves coming by the townhouse to speak to it. 

Just in case.

“Do you remember how she used to fuss over us in the camp? She’d let them all think she was raising us to be proper Illyrians- all hard-hearted and imperious- but the moment the door of that cottage closed she was all smiles and laughter. She gave me my first home, she tried to get my mother away from my father’s camp, even though it was too late to save her.”

He looked at the lantern in time to see a flicker of color from deep within, “She loved us all- she loved how we were together. She loved that Cassian would piss you off and I would keep you in line. She loved when we fought, when we conspired, when we laughed… If you let Amarantha take any of that light inside you away, I’ll kill her then come for your stupid ass. Everything good in you was put there by our mother, everything bright and kind in each of us is all that’s left of her. Don’t you dare surrender it to Hybern’s whore.”

#velaris #my writing #azriel #rhysand #rhysand's mother #inner circle #acotar #acomaf #acowar #fanfiction #fanfic #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #velaris deleted scene #deleted scene #cassian

[inloveandwords]

One of my favorite things to do on a laidback weekend is to take a break from prepping for the week/doing chores and spend a few hours shopping (even if it is just window shopping) while listening to an audiobook. (This is where my airpods come in handy, for sure!)

I know. It’s totally antisocial of me, but I’m fine with getting lost in my audiobook world while browsing mindlessly. It’s relaxing to me.

Also… I need as much time as I can get reading or listening to books since the end of the year is quickly approaching and I’m ridiculously far behind on my Goodreads challenge!

Anyway, it’s the beginning of November and that means it’s time for a new reading list…

November Reading List

These are all books that I own and want to read this month! Titles link to Goodreads.

Audio

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J Maas

Aelin has risked everything to save her people―but at a tremendous cost. Locked within an iron coffin by the Queen of the Fae, Aelin must draw upon her fiery will as she endures months of torture. Aware that yielding to Maeve will doom those she loves keeps her from breaking, though her resolve begins to unravel with each passing day…

With Aelin captured, Aedion and Lysandra remain the last line of defense to protect Terrasen from utter destruction. Yet they soon realize that the many allies they’ve gathered to battle Erawan’s hordes might not be enough to save them. Scattered across the continent and racing against time, Chaol, Manon, and Dorian are forced to forge their own paths to meet their fates. Hanging in the balance is any hope of salvation―and a better world.

And across the sea, his companions unwavering beside him, Rowan hunts to find his captured wife and queen―before she is lost to him forever.

As the threads of fate weave together at last, all must fight, if they are to have a chance at a future. Some bonds will grow even deeper, while others will be severed forever in the explosive final chapter of the Throne of Glass series.

  Penmort Castle (Ghosts and Reincarnation #1) by Kristen Ashley

Cash Fraser is planning revenge and to get it he needs the perfect woman. So he hires her. Abigail Butler has lost nearly everything in her life and she’s about to lose the home she loves.

Cash meets Abby, who is posing as a paid escort, and the minute he does he knows he’s willing to pay for more than Abby being his pretend girlfriend. A lot more. Abby needs the money or the last thing that links her to her dead family and husband will be gone. The deal is struck but both Cash and Abby get more than they bargained for.

Cash realises very quickly that Abby isn’t what she seems and while he changes strategies, Abby discovers that Cash’s legacy, Penmort Castle, is like all the tales say – very, very haunted. Making matters worse, the ghost in residence wants her dead.

Abby’s found herself in the battle of her life so she enlists Mrs. Truman, her nosy neighbour; Jenny, her no-nonsense friend; Cassandra McNabb, white witch and clairvoyant with a penchant for wearing scarves (and lots of them); and Angus McPherson, dyed-in-the-wool Scot (which means he hunts ghosts in a kilt) to fight the vicious ghost who has vowed that she will rest at nothing to kill the true, abiding love of the master of Penmort.

  Blurred Lines (Love Unexpectedly #1) by Lauren Layne

When Parker Blanton meets Ben Olsen during her freshman year of college, the connection is immediate—and platonic. Six years later, they’re still best friends, sharing an apartment in Portland’s trendy Northwest District as they happily settle into adult life. But when Parker’s boyfriend dumps her out of the blue, she starts to wonder about Ben’s no-strings-attached approach to dating. The trouble is, even with Ben as her wingman, Parker can’t seem to get the hang of casual sex—until she tries it with him.

The arrangement works perfectly . . . at first. The sex is mind-blowing, and their friendship remains as solid as ever, without any of the usual messy romantic entanglements. But when Parker’s ex decides he wants her back, Ben is shocked by a fierce stab of possessiveness. And when Ben starts seeing a girl from work, Parker finds herself plagued by unfamiliar jealousy. With their friendship on the rocks for the first time, Parker and Ben face an alarming truth: Maybe they can’t go back. And maybe, deep down, they never want to.

  Where I Belong (Alabama Summer #1) by J. Daniels

When Mia Corelli returns to Alabama for a summer of fun with her childhood best friend, Tessa, there’s only one thing keeping her on edge. One person that she’d do anything to avoid.

Benjamin Kelly. World’s biggest dickhead.

Mia hates him with a fury and has no desire to ever see him again. When she decides to start her summer off with a bang and finally give away her v-card, she unknowingly hands it over to the one guy that excelled at making her life miserable, learning a valuable lesson in the process.

Always get the name of the guy you’re going home with.

Ben can’t get the girl he spent one night with out of his head. When she leaves him the next morning, he thinks he’ll never see her again. Until he sees her lounging by the pool with his sister.

Mia is determined to hate Ben, even though she can’t forget him.

Ben is determined to prove he’s not the same guy he used to be.

What happens when the one person you wish never existed becomes the one person you can’t imagine being without?

  Kindle

Cards of Love: Five of Cups by Trisha Wolfe

“How do you see your cup, Dr. West? Half full, or half empty? Her life depends on your answer.”

Dr. Ian West is the best trial consultant in the city, and he knows it. He’s made a living—a damn good one—helping lawyers win cases through his special brand of trial science. As a natural people reader, West’s one grave error presents in the form of a murderer named Quentin Shaver.

Amid Shaver’s trial, a dangerous bargain is struck, and—impressed with Dr. West’s abilities—Shaver engages him in a battle of wits. The prize? One gritty defense attorney from West’s past—the one woman West could fall for.

Loss broke West once before. Grief his sole companion, until Porter breaks down his defenses. But just as West is about to take a chance on love again, Porter becomes leverage in a sadistic game between doctor and madman.

Can Dr. West save the woman he loves before the last cup runs empty? (

  The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Is it love, or is she just his good luck charm?

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Helena Hunting absolutely delights with this witty and fun standalone contemporary romance.

Lilah isn’t sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career, or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she’s no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Ethan Kane wants his glory days back. And that includes having Lilah by his side. With her, he was magic. They were magic. All he has to do is make her see that.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let him in, though, she finds out their reunion has nothing to do with her and everything to do with his game. But Ethan’s already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he’ll do anything to keep from losing her again.

  Hard Copy

My Dear Hamilton: A Novel of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton by Stephanie Dray and Laura Kamoie

From the New York Times bestselling authors of America’s First Daughter comes the epic story of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton—a revolutionary woman who, like her new nation, struggled to define herself in the wake of war, betrayal, and tragedy. Haunting, moving, and beautifully written, Dray and Kamoie used thousands of letters and original sources to tell Eliza’s story as it’s never been told before—not just as the wronged wife at the center of a political sex scandal—but also as a founding mother who shaped an American legacy in her own right.

A general’s daughter…

Coming of age on the perilous frontier of revolutionary New York, Elizabeth Schuyler champions the fight for independence. And when she meets Alexander Hamilton, Washington’s penniless but passionate aide-de-camp, she’s captivated by the young officer’s charisma and brilliance. They fall in love, despite Hamilton’s bastard birth and the uncertainties of war.

A founding father’s wife…

But the union they create—in their marriage and the new nation—is far from perfect. From glittering inaugural balls to bloody street riots, the Hamiltons are at the center of it all—including the political treachery of America’s first sex scandal, which forces Eliza to struggle through heartbreak and betrayal to find forgiveness.

The last surviving light of the Revolution…

When a duel destroys Eliza’s hard-won peace, the grieving widow fights her husband’s enemies to preserve Alexander’s legacy. But long-buried secrets threaten everything Eliza believes about her marriage and her own legacy. Questioning her tireless devotion to the man and country that have broken her heart, she’s left with one last battle—to understand the flawed man she married and the imperfect union he could never have created without her…

  On the Way to You by Kandi Steiner

What makes you happy?

That was the question Emery Reed asked me the day we met, and I couldn’t give him a single answer. I could have said my dog, or my books, or yoga — but I just stared.

And then, I got in his car.

It was crazy to take a road trip with a stranger, but after years of standing still, he was my one-way ticket to a new life, and I wasn’t going to miss it.

We shared the same space, the same car, the same hotel room — and still, we were strangers. One day we’d be laughing, the next, we wouldn’t speak. Emery was surrounded by impenetrable walls, but I wanted in.

Discovering his journal changed everything.

I read his thoughts, words not meant for anyone’s eyes, and the more I learned about him, the harder I fell. It turned out nothing made Emery Reed happy, and I wanted to change that.

I earned his trust by violating his privacy, and as wrong as it was, it worked — until one entry revealed a darkness I never knew existed, a timer I never knew was ticking.

Suddenly, what made me happy was saving Emery from himself. I just didn’t know if I could.

  What are you reading this month?

Reading List: November 2018 One of my favorite things to do on a laidback weekend is to take a break from prepping for the week/doing chores and spend a few hours shopping (even if it is just window shopping) while listening to an audiobook.

#Reading List

[muffin-thoughts]

12.19

Well, today is the day. I can’t say that it’s been a day I’m been dreading, because I actually haven’t, but it certainly gives me a lot to process through this wonderful outlet I’ve created. But I’ll of course include a day that was actually quite nice. 

I started my day a bit earlier than normal so I could do my normal activities before I joined Ginny on a trip to Harrisonburg. She casually asked me to travel with her last night at dinner, and of course I said yes. She’s a lovely woman with great views and has given me a lot of support, so I thought of no better way to spend a morning/afternoon than with her. We did a few chores, including getting some things for Christmas Eve. I’ve never done a Christmas Eve tradition, so of course I was excited, and we talked about it. We also got some gifts she needed to get for her family members, we both got really tasty salads at Panera bread, and just had a nice time in general. I was worried that I wouldn’t provide adequate conversation considering we’re never been alone without Kristen or Kelsey for more than a few minutes, but as I said, she’s very profound and we have great conversations. She was grateful that I went with her and vice versa. It makes me honored to be included enough to do things like today, and I got a lot of joy out of it.

When I came home, I did some tidying up, took care of recycling, and practice my song a bit before I headed out for my daily outing. It worked out that I had to change it to the afternoon because I had someone wanting to join me again today. I actually don’t mind being on my own, but it’s always more fun to have someone there to chat. It’s funny to me that I used to be the one that asked for breaks and to slow down, when now I’m the one who’s going to fast. I don’t normally talk about my exercise, but one day I’ll bring that more into focus. For now, it was a great way to make up the afternoon, and we had a great time.

I got home, and Kristin came in shortly behind me. We talked about how our days were, and casually discussed the oncoming weekend and Christmas before Kelsey got home. We then made up a quick dinner, because I needed to head to the Trackside for a read-through of the new play.

It’s a comedy about a pirate crew, castaways, and natives of a small island. Admittedly it’s not the greatest show in the world, but it’s pretty cute in most aspects. Initially I wasn’t going to be a part of it, but she needed some help and I accepted on the condition that I get a small part. Normally I like to have the best, but this year I really want to focus on the other aspects of my life, so the part I received is perfect for that. 

I got back, ate a snack, and settled in for the evening. Of course, this did give me the chance to think more, and I immediately decided to start writing. 

So, without further dawdling, today was our seven year anniversary.

I honestly thought it would be harder than it was, but I really did have a grasp on my emotions. I didn’t once try to repress anything, but at the same time, it wasn’t difficult. I had a great day, I was confident, and I think my attitude helped me more than I can imagine.

That being said, it of course does come with sad thoughts. I can’t ignore the thought that went in my mind at one point in morning that said ‘oh, I need to text her happy anniversary’. Just like a day ago, a week ago, a month ago, and so forth, I am still in love with her. My desire for her still stands, so it’s natural to grieve on a day like today. That being said, my feelings don’t overrule logic anymore. I know that this needs to be done if I want hope for us in any sense in the future. 

Things are still on very delicate between us, but that’s to be expected. It goes without saying that I still miss her very much. And As much as I want to talk to her, I know that the best thing is to let things happen naturally. I want to give us a real chance, and like i said, rushing is not the way. 

Perhaps another reason why I don’t feel as affected today is because I know that things are going to get better. I feel deep within my heart that this will be the best thing that happens between us, and the only way to get to it is to continue down this path. I know that in order to make the next seven years and beyond the best they can, we have let go of the seven before us. We don’t have to forget, but we need look forward. 

I said I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure our lives were happy ones, and I meant that. It will happen, and it is happening. My determination has reached levels I never thought I could achieve. My positivity has grown exponentially compared to my past, and I can’t imagine where it will be in the future. I’m doing everything I can to understand my flaws and grow from them, not just skating over and solving temporary issues. Soon I’ll be getting professional insight, but for now I’m doing everything I can on my own. For once in my life, I feel completely confident in my future. 

I don’t know where we’ll be when this time comes around next year, but I’ll continue to take one day at a time, because I know without a doubt that things are only going up from here.

#daily express

[demi-mccullar101-blog]

What Do I Watch?

All right, the pressure is off!  Let’s get into it.  My previous experience with Tumblr has been strictly for reading opinions about various shows I and others watch.  Now it’s my turn.

Let’s go by days of the week, shall we?

Sunday:

Like the rest of the world, I love Game of Thrones.  I truly have no idea how this show will end but I do see Dany as being on a Villain’s Journey.  I think Jon is on a Hero’s Journey as well.  I can’t wait for them to meet, and I expect a battle, but I have no idea which one will stand tall when the snow clears. 

I also watch Veep.  It mirrors real life more than it ever intended but remains brilliantly funny.  At no point during the episodes do I groan when a character comes on screen.  There aren’t any bad characters on this show.  Each is perfectly crafted and played. 

Finally, I end this night with Last Week Tonight.  Ollie was excellent on The Daily Show and is even better here.  He is funny and informative and has introduced the world to Janice From Accounting.

Monday:

This is a busy night for me.  First is Gotham.  I finally figured out why I love this goofy show that doesn’t make any sense.  Gotham is for me what the Adam West Batman is for those who watched it live.  It’s a ridiculous interpretation of the Batverse that couldn’t make me happier. 

Then comes Lucifer.  I haven’t read the Vertigo comics but, if they are anything even close to the show, then I’m sure I would love them.  This show brings the funny and is so upbeat that the serious moments actually have some gravitas.  I’m currently convinced that, if we are to meet Dad in season 2, then it will turn out to be Ella.  No particular reason, it just came to me earlier in the season.

Supergirl is next.  Season 2 has faltered a bit, with losing Cat and elevating Mon-el at the expense of Kara’s relationships with Alex and J’onn but I still feel positive feelings in general.  My hope is that season 3 fixes the mistakes of season 2 (and I wouldn’t object to Cat returning!).

The night ends, as it always does Mon-Thurs, with The Daily Show.  I think Trevor Noah is doing a great job and is a worthy successor to Jonny. 

Tuesday:

The Flash is one of those shows where I don’t really know why I still watch.  I don’t read Flash comics, as I’m a Batverse lady, so I have no connection with the character outside of the show.  Barry is actually my least favorite part of the show, to the point that I’m TeamBarryIsBigBad, and that does make it a chore to watch.  I do like the actors, so they might be why I’m still here.  I do think that Candice is given next to nothing to do and yet still manages to have presence.  This current season I LOVE Julian.  Not because of Tom Felton, though that doesn’t hurt, but because Julian is the only character who doesn’t worship at Barry’s feet and, as a result, actually calls him on his shit.  I loved watching Cisco do the same in the fallout from Flashpoint but he’s back in the Cult of Barry.  Thinking some more, yes, I think because I like all the actors involved (even Grant, as it’s not his fault the producers don’t realize Barry is the villain of the series). 

Legends of Tomorrow is my favorite of the Tuesday shows.  I’m a rare one who loved Kendra in season 1 and I still miss her but I am happy Hawkman is gone.  If they’d cast someone who could act, then I may feel differently but it’s hard to support a character when the actor is abysmal.  I think Amaya is a great addition to the team, though I can do without Nate.  A better actor, yes, but we have plenty of straight white guys and Ray fills the dork role already.  Plus, I get a serious Taking Screentime Away From Established Characters Ala Mon-el vibe whenever he was on screen which I do not want.  I am looking forward to how the team gets out of their current predicament.  My theory is that Rip is connected to the Waverider and can’t just go off to experience life.  He must always intend to return otherwise we have Dinosaurs in Los Angeles.  I expect we’ll get a story of him figuring out his place in the ship and on the team without usurping Sara’s Captaincy. 

My favorite moment of season 2, speaking of Sara, was when she saved the day by simply depowering the Spear.  Sara has seen too much, has done too much, and has experienced major consequences for her choices over the years.  There’s no one else who would make that choice.  Everyone would try to do good deeds and all that would happen is that other negative things would happen.  Look at Barry and Flashpoint.  All he wanted to do was fix the past so that his parents didn’t die.  When all was said and done, his parents were still dead, Cisco’s brother needlessly died, little Sara Diggle was turned into JJ Diggle, and Savitar exists.  Sara herself knows this firsthand.  Her sister brought her back from the dead but didn’t know what she was doing and so Sara was a soulless killing machine until a magic solution was found.  And her sister ended up dead as a result.  Sara knew the safest choice was to set things the way they already are and to give no one else the chance to play god.  I love this character.

Count me among the many who fell for This Is Us.  I don’t think Jack is the Saint Husband that is so commonly felt among viewers but I do like the character.  I find Kevin a bit boring but I love watching him opposite his siblings.  Kate is great, and I relate to her insecurities, but I am not a Toby fan and I hope he doesn’t last much longer.  Randall is wonderful and I adore Beth and their girls.  Sterling K Brown is a gem and I want to see him in everything.  I found myself, when the season finished, relating to Rebecca the most.  She put her life on hold to raise the kids and probably would have been able to keep her resentments in check if she’d gotten the chance to truly pursue music without having to deal with Jack’s jealousy or drinking.  That ex in the band was a dick but she shut him down twice and probably would have just found a new group to sing with had Jack not been such an ass.  I do think that all happened in the run up to his death and I look forward to more details.

Agents of Shield is another Tuesday favorite.  I am very behind currently, as my DVR didn’t record the first few episodes when the show came back from the winter hiatus so I’m waiting for it to arrive on Netflix before binge watching.  My favorite characters were actually Bobbi and Hunter but I enjoy everyone else a lot which kept me around when they were written off.

Wednesday:

The week starts to get lighter beginning here.  I don’t have anything on until 9, when Chicago PD and Designated Survivor both air.  I quit Arrow back in season 3.  Sara’s fridging was the last straw for me. 

I do like Chicago PD but I’m mainly here for Sophia Bush.  If she ever leaves, then so will I.  I’m just tired of cop shows that glory in police brutality with no fallout unless the story permits.  When the show slows down and shows them doing actual detective work it works for me.

Designated Survivor is another where I’m mainly here for Maggie Q.  I like the other characters but the show doesn’t seem to know if it wants to be a conspiracy thriller or a political show.  It tries to do both and it doesn’t work very well.  I hope that a second season fixes these problems.

Thursday:

The Good Place is amazing.  Kristen Bell is one I will follow forever.  She’s just that good.  Ted Dansen is born for comedy and he is so great as Michael.  Chidi is someone I want in my own life and I can relate to his indecisiveness as I get that way with big decisions.  Tahani reminds me, in the best way, of a lot of people I went to college with.  Jason makes me laugh so hard and I love his relationship with Janet.  And, yes, I adore Janet. 

Superstore is so accurate that I cry laughing.  Sandra is probably my favorite and her look to Carol in the season 2 finale was everything. 

Chicago Med, like PD, is one that I watch because I enjoy Colin Donnell but it is not a good show.  There is a lot of judgment of the patients on the part of the doctors and nurses, rather than just treating them and moving on, so I tend to roll my eyes when I watch.

And that’s what I like to watch.