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starified-lizzy · 2 months

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I figured I should redo my intro to my blog-

ELLO >:DDDD

Name’s Lizzy! Or Star! I really don’t give a fuck which you use!

I draw shit for FANDOMS

I write shit for FANDOMS

I got OCS whom I LOVE and ADORE.

“Can I draw fanart of your fics?” My sibling in Christ, we are married. /pos

“Can I draw fanart of your fanart(like DTIYS)?” My sibling in Christ. /pos

“Can I draw fanart of your OCs?” CHRIST. /pos

RAHHHHHH (it’s really fucking early I shouldn’t be doing this now ;-;)

Here’s a list of my socials, it is very limited because I hate the “standard” socials like Twitter and Insta and stuff like that. So it’s more like- fanfic sites, and any other blogs I own for you guys to check out >.>

My AO3

My Art Fight

My YouTube

My TikTok (basically dead at this point, I only ever like/favorite things on it, but I might start up again with my FNF au instead)

My Pinterest

My Spotify because sure

My FNF au blog

My demonpocalypse blog ([possibly] forever retired due to a severe issue in the community it was for)

Blog for food/recipes I want to try because MMMMMMMMMMM FOOOOD

Wow that’s actually not limited like I thought- hot damn I need to touch some grass.

HERES A LIST OF FANDOMS IM EITHER CURRENTLY IN, OR HAVE RETIRED FROM (Also CCs):

Retired-

DSMP (and MCYT as a whole for the most part), dude our community is in *shambles*. I’m so glad I left when I did, but at the same time O W.

ATLA. Technically I’m still in this fandom, but I only really get back into it/brainrot about it if I get a reminder, otherwise I kinda forget about it

FNAF. Same with ATLA, still technically in it, but I gotta be reminded it exists sometimes.

BATIM. Ditto

Wings of Fire. Ditto

Undertale. Ditto. Lizzy, my main persona, was actually an OC created from Undertale, who just ended up becoming her own person, and then ended up being associated with mine and my friend’s Minecraft au instead.

Onto CCs I no longer watch:

Any of the DSMP ppl, with very few exceptions

Jacksepticeye. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still watch a video of his if it pops up and spikes my interest, but I don’t actively seek his content out anymore.

Any of the old Minecrafters. Like DanTDM, Stampy, Tiny Turtle & Little Lizard. Hell, I don’t even think any of the ones I listed even do YT at all anymore. I’ll still watch their old videos tho.

Current-

FNF. I really could give less of a fuck if y’all think it’s “bad” or “for kids (it’s not, I promise you)”. The music slaps, and quite a few mods are really well made, so eat my ass.

Day of Dragons. The dragons are cool. I don’t care about any drama in the community. I’m here for the cool fucking dragons.

The Isle. Once again, I don’t care about any drama in the community. I’m here for the cool ass dinosaurs because you can customize your own skins and they just look and sound cool (Dilo, Herarra, and Ptera are my faves)

Lethal Company. Do it for the Company.

RainWorld. Scugs and Scups. Need I say more?

Hollow Knight. Sorta falling out of this one, but until I beat the entire game (P5) I am not finished.

Minecraft. Technically in “the fandom”, but not really attached to a specific YTer or anything like that anymore. I just like the game.

CCs I still watch:

Astral Spiff. Sprog is a good gamer.

Smii7y and his friends like Grizzy, Droid, Puffer, Blarg, etc.

Jack Manifold. I only watch his You Laugh You Loose and Ghost Sighting Compilation videos. I don’t even know if he still does Minecraft anymore.

8-BitRyan. While he doesn’t swear in his videos, it’s kinda a breath of fresh air. Plus his edits are quite funny.

Markiplier. Yes. Just… yes…

IGP. His content is just interesting. The way he freaks out over shit is funny as hell. Does he do content with IcyCaress anymore? Their banter was funny, but idk if something happened, cuz I just don’t see much stuff with Icy in it anymore.

As of right now, that’s all I can think of. It’s nice to meet you!

#blog intro #introductory post #redid my intro because things changed and I wanted it to be more COLORFUL and CRAZY #artists on tumblr #fanfic writers #writers on tumblr #small youtuber #for fun

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official-michael-afton · 4 years

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Made a tier list of FNaF media!!! Not counting the activity book or the security survival log because those don’t really add anything, they’re just neat activities or summaries of game info

I explained the choices under the cut, equal parts personal bias and objective opinion, so if you think differently then hey, good on ya!

Going down to up XD

The Silver Eyes Graphic Novel: Do I even need to explain this one? Rushed art with countless mistakes, horrid coloring, samey designs, the important scenes come off as bland and even goofy instead of impactful. It’s clear Pinky wasn’t used to drawing humans, the colorist had no idea what they were doing, and no one on the team made a graphic novel before. It’s laughable how bad this was XD

The Fourth Closet: Does anyone really know what happened at the end? I... really don’t like what they did with Charlie in this one. I don’t like how William was able to get out of his Springtrap- it was SUPPOSED to trap him, and yet he just... is out of it... I think the whole thing with Baby being like this hot clown girl instead of what she is in Sister Location is very... ... it exists... Tbh I respect the bold direction it took, but I honestly felt it was too much of a stretch and just didn’t work.

FNaF AR, Special Delivery: Not bad! The character models and voice acting is where the game shines most. Other than that, there isn’t really much substantial to the game other than some lore with Vanny/Ness and Luis. The gameplay can get frustrating sometimes(I cant collect remnant, read my mail, or even work on my own animatronics without DING DONG SOMEONES HERE every 5 seconds), and all you do is spin in a circle until you get glitchy, look away if they get glitchy, or zap them when they run at you. Some people probably love this game and good on them for that, but I find myself not touching it for weeks at a time.

Freddy In Space 2: GREAT game for charity, great art, great music! ... That’s all it has going for it, though. It was clear that this was a quickly made game designed to be beaten in one sitting, and it did exactly what it needed to do! Other than being amazing how it was for charity, the game doesn’t have that much going for it(except introducing Lolzhax aka BEST ROBO), so overall not bad but also did almost nothing outside of being for the Charity Livestream XD

Fazbear Frights, Into The Pit: Again, not bad! A nice collection of short stories, almost like goofy campfire horror you’d tell to kids... like goosebumps! I felt each story was REALLY lacking in some areas, but I liked the general idea they were going for. That being said, they’re moreso neat scary stories with the name FNaF attached than anything else(except maybe the first of the three). It hints that they have an overarching plot that will be covered in future books, but as of right now, I feel no one’s missing out by not reading them.

FNaF 3: A satisfying end to the original trilogy story! Purple Guy gets justice, everything gets tied together with a neat bow, and the first arc in the series comes to an end. Also Springtrap, aka my favorite. This game is riddled with neat 8-bit minigames and bits of lore, but the gameplay itself is where I find it not as good as the S A and B tiers. The new setup with the system reboots are def really interesting, but other than that, each night is just... the same thing but harder. Most other games introduce different characters on different difficulties per night, but since Springtrap is the only deadly one, it’s just... him more aggressive each night and systems failing more often. Makes the gameplay pretty repetitive and frustrating after Night 3 or so.

FNaF 4: The beginning of what I like to call the Afton saga(4, SL, FFPS, UCN)! This is when the lore began to get REALLY good... and also really confusing. Props for it taking such a bold direction by taking place in a child’s bedroom instead of in an office with cameras, its a neat change of pace! That being said, the gameplay can get frustrating and there’s a high learning curve for needing to listen to each sound the anmatronics make. Also lore wise... there really isn’t much! Just mainly focuses on what happened to this poor kid. Also the box still being a loose end... yeah.

The Twisted Ones: I enjoyed this one! It had a very interesting direction that kinda kept me guessing on what was going on, and this is when Scott really started nailing in the foreshadowing for the reveal in TFC. The Twisted animatronics are SO cool, and the introduction of those little alteration chips provided new context to games like 4 and SL! That being said, I don’t remember it being... that memorable? I also didn’t like how Charlie’s and John’s relationship was... so awkward... It was neat, but honestly nothing to really go crazy over, in my opinion.

The Silver Eyes: Honestly, I adored this book when I read it back in 2016, before Sister Location happened. At the time I wasn’t trying to connect it to any lore, so it was really great just to see a sort of retelling of the FNaF story. A lot of people complained about how long it was... I might agree if I reread it but tbh it never bothered me before. It was delightfully creepy, yet had a simple plot and wasn’t NEARLY as out there as TTO and TFC. Especially TFC. I felt this book didnt need 2 sequels and would’ve been just fine on its own, but whatcha gonna do. Carlton is forever my fav, and it’s the first time we really learn about Henry AND it was the first time we got a name for our Purple Guy: William Afton!

Sister Location: I like this one for just how bold of a game it was. I’m also including SL’s Custom Night wrapped into this package. Jam packed with lore, our first (main) game with VOICE ACTING, and honestly the humor has no right being as good as it is. I love how this not only expanded on the crying child from 4′s story, but also gives us so much Elizabeth and Michael content. The gameplay has a lot of unbalanced features and feels a little too over the place at times, but I appreciate where it was going with it!

FNaF World: ... This one is pure personal bias. A lot of people don’t like it. I adore it. Honestly I love the cute overworld, I love beating up enemies as my favorite animatronics, I love the horror, nihilism, and lore shoved into this game alongside SO MUCH humor. Update 2 was nothing short of an absolute delight and... wait, no!!! FNaF World had our first voice acting!!! So many endings and nods to other games Scott’s made, a cool scene with Desk Man/Henry and Baby, just... muah. Good content. Also Scott 57 <3

Ultimate Custom Night: Name a better way to end the Afton Saga, I’ll wait. It’s so obvious how much time, thought, and care went into this one. I love how the game rewards you with funny cutscenes the higher scores you get, and I just! So much voice acting! I love how each preset- no, each character has their own moves so every time you do a certain mode, you need to learn to manage them all and get a good strategy. I like how it’s way more strategy and skill than the RNG that many previous games had. Also, Scott!!! You managed to put this into the LORE by making it William’s hell, MUAH, couldnt have done it better!!!

FNaF 2: This one might have bias for being the peak of the fandom, but it was one of the greatest times to be in that fandom. Freaking out over the trailers, theories galore, prequel vs sequel, and just... so good. 1 didn’t have much plot, 2 DID. 2 had more mechanics and strategy to it than 1, and gave us over twice as many characters! We finally got a “face” to our killer, Mr. Purple Man, and how could I ever complain about more Phone Guy~? This one also introduced the 8-bit minigames, which became a HUGE staple for the series! Perfect expansion of the first!

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator: The PERFECT blend of old and new gameplay. The salvage scenes are intense, the nights had a great balancing mechanic of juggling doing tasks while also avoiding animatronics, multiple endings, and a neat tycoon segment to give the player a breather... but with LORE!!! Midnight Motorist is easily one of the best tracks in the series. Also has a GREAT canonical ending, when(with paired with UCN), ties the plots of 1-6 SO nicely with a neat bow.

FNaF 1: Okay. From a personal and gameplay standpoint, I was going to put this much lower. Like B or C. That being said... this has to go in S. Yes, it has the least lore and arguably the worst gameplay(too much RNG for 4/20 mode), but this was the game. I can’t even exaggerate when I say just how much FNaF changed not only the gaming community, but especially the horror and indie communities. So many names got big from this: Markiplier, Dawko, Game Theory, The Living Tombstone, DA Games, SCOTT HIMSELF, just to name a few!!! And to think, this was originally going to be Scott’s last game! FNaF changed gaming HISTORY, and I think that alone makes this title deserving of S.

FNaF VR, Help Wanted: Okay, personal bias time, but I truly think VR deserves this S. Seeing Glitchtrap for the first time incited a panic in me that I hadn’t felt since FNaF 1 and 2. You get FNaF 1-4 in one, all in VR, WONDERFUL character models that you can WATCH MOVE!!! SO many minigames and fun challenges to play, so many neat knickknacks to collect, the Halloween update is FANTASTIC. The introduction of some great characters, such as: Glitchtrap, Vanny, Tape Girl, Dreadbear, Grim Foxy, etc!!! There’s also just- something so nice about being able to see every office and the pizzeria in 3D spaces where you can look around! Just from a gameplay and environment standpoint, this was an AMAZING addition and deserves the S.

... Thanks for listening to me ramble XD If you disagree... then good for you! I won’t fight anyone on this, I’m aware that this is a lot of personal bias. But if you made it this far... thanks for hearing me ramble!!!!

#fnaf #infodump #fnaf tier list #five nights at freddy's

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meow-face · 4 years

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All the fandoms I’ve ever considered myself to be a part of

-Frozen - Age 12-Age 12 - (2013) - What can I say. I was 12, I saw Frozen. Obsessed over Elsa for a couple months. That was just the tiny bit of lesbian in me jumping out from behind the ace-ness for the first time. -Inside Out - Age 13-Age 14 - (2014-2015) - I saw Inside Out. I was 13. Obsessed over Joy for a few months. Sounds as cringy as it was. That was also the second time the tiny bit of lesbian in me jumped out. -Minecraft: Story Mode - Age 14-Age 14 - (2015) - It doesn’t get more cringy than this. I don’t know why I fixated on it as long as I did. But I did. It was bad, as in really really painfully cringy bad. I also made my tumblr account during this obsession. Actually made some posts about it. (Which are all long gone now) -Star Wars Rebels & The Clone Wars - Age 14-Present - (2015-Present) - Finally a good one. I’m not obsessed over them anymore, but I still like them. Especially with the last season of The Clone Wars. That hurt pretty bad. And Ashoka Tano is still one of my all time favourite fictional characters. -Harry Potter - Age 15-Present - (2016-Present) - It’s Harry Potter. I finished reading the books when I was 15. I have since disowned JK Rowling, but the story and characters still speak true, for the most part. I am a Ravenclaw! -Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) - Age 15- Present - (2016-Present) - Saw Spider-Man Homecoming. Loved it. Watched the rest of MCU. Loved it. Couple years later, watched Infinity War and Endgame. Was crushed, but loved it , for the most part. I’m not quite obsessed anymore, but I still like it a lot. Spider-Man is my favourite superhero. -Dan and Phil - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - I wasn’t ever really obsessed, but I watched their videos and followed a few fan pages on Instagram. Still watch Phil’s videos when he uploads. -Jacksepticeye & Markiplier - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - NOT Septiplier. I just discovered them both at the same time. Like the last one, I’ve never really been obsessed. I just enjoy their videos. Ethan too, now! -Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - Age 16-Present - (2017-Present) - Yeah, I just really connected to Newt Scamander too much. The first movie made me fall back in love with the whole Harry Potter universe for a bit. The second movie lost my interest after a week. Still like the characters, though. -The Greatest Showman - Age 17-Age 17 - (2018-2018) - Ah, my introduction to musicals. Did you know there’s actually a surprising amount of fanfiction for this one? I basically spent a summer break blasting “From Now On” in my headphones at 3 AM every night. -Mary Poppins - Age 17-Age 17 - (2018-2019) - I saw Mary Poppins Returns. My brain went: “ooh, possibly ace immortal woman who can do magic?” And I ran with it for a while. -This is where my brain went dark for a few months. Nothing new from any of my fandoms for ages, the online communities of all of them were beyond dead, and I was just disinterested in everything. My brain had nothing to fixate on, so it started to fixate on scary things. This went on for about 4 months, from January 2019 until late April 2019. It got really bad. -Sanders Sides - Age 18-Present - (2019-Present) - My savour fandom. My main fandom. I’ve never been completely obsessed with any fictional work for this long before. I saw the video: “Tongue Twisted - A Speaking Backwards Challenge” on my YouTube recommended, recognized Thomas from Vine, and thought “what the heck”. Watched the video. Laughed hard. For the first time in 4 months. Accepting Anxiety Part 2 was recommended next. Thought “hey, I’ve been dealing with a crazy amount of anxiety lately, how convenient!” Watched the recap, realized there was a first part, clicked on that and watched the first part first. Then watched the second part. Then watched the rest of the episodes and the rest of Thomas’s videos. Reactivated my Tumblr account. Started drawing again. Found a lot of new music I loved. Started performing much more confidently. Accepted every part of my sexuality and started the (ongoing) process to figure out where I am on the gender spectrum. I know a lot of people say Thomas & Sanders Sides saved them, and I know it’s usually a factor of a lot of things. But really, discovering Thomas Sanders kicked off a recovery process for me. With the videos talking about mental health, to just Thomas and how amazing he is, and of course the fandom, which is where I got actual support and nice comments on my art for the first time ever. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t discovered this Thomas when I did.

Of course, disclaimer, I was in the process of getting professional mental health help before this pandemic happened. You cannot just rely on fandoms, or YouTubers forever. All I’m saying is Sanders Sides and Thomas significantly helped in starting my recovery. Also just a reminder if anyone ever wants/needs to talk to someone, I’m more than happy to.

❤️

#sanders sides #mostly just a sanders sides appreciation post #long post

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the-real-bubblegum-bitch · 6 years

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ADWM Analysis

So, since WKM, I’ve been in the fandom, and of course this means I watched A Date With Markiplier. But I always watched it one way- MARK is the asshole here, and Dark is trying to protect us from him. Which considering the “Yes” ending, as well as what he did to Damian and Celine, makes at least some sense. But there’s a perspective that, even though it was explicitly pointed out to us, I never considered.

So today, imma analyze ADWM with the idea in mind that Dark is comprised of the worst parts, and only the worst parts, of Damian and Celine.

Dark’s lines are in bold and colors, purple means idk who I think said it. Damian’s bad side seems to be the manipulation he obviously had to use at some point in order to get into politics, whilst Celine’s bad side is her anger.

Did you miss me? I missed you very much.

This line is simply pointing out that it’s a follow up to WKM, and this is the same y/n. Basic stuff here.

I’ve been waiting a long time to see you again. I’ve been pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked.

Okay. So Dark was mocked in relax, but replaced? By who, Is Celine jealous of Amy?

And then he had the gall to not invite me to his little adventure with you. No more. Never again.

The thing that strikes me about this is that it’s said so calmly. I feel like this is Damian trying to silence Celine so he can be manipulative, but since he agrees with her…

IT’S MY TURN NOW

Celine taking control.

I’VE BEEN WAITING PATIENTLY! HE PROMISED HE WOULD LET ME IN AGAIN!

Celine’s rage, obviously, but what did Mark promise?

I’m tired of giving people a choice. But I suppose I could give you one last option.

Obviously, a reference to “life is ours to choose.”

Take your pick. Anything of four different choices, more than he could have given you,

Despite the calm, this feels like Celine. She DATED Mark, and he apparently didn’t give her enough, or she wouldn’t have cheated.

and let’s see how far down this rabbit hole really goes. So take your pick. Show me what you got. And maybe… we’ll have a good date after all.

The line “show me what you’ve got” seems suspicious. Like, why is he challenging Y/N?

Next video:

Good choice, but why do we need to choose in life?

“Life is ours to choose, as I always say.” What happened, Damian, who hur- oh, right.

If dinner is what you want, then I can provide. And I can take you wherever you’d like to go.

Manipulative people try to get you to be loyal to them and trust them BY BEING NICE TO YOU. It’s a real life pattern, Abusers will often apologize with materialistic gifts and then hurt you again. This is what Damian is trying to do.

I can especially take you to the places where you DON’T want to go.

This line is counterproductive to Damian’s manipulation, so it makes sense Celine is saying it. Also, remember, she kinda did that in wkm with the seance. She was into the occult.

It’s exciting… knowing that there are endless possibilities waiting for you.

Beyond just the fact that this scene is overflowing with red, and Damian’s become disillusioned with possibilities and choice, Celine also said she “had her eyes opened to a fraction of what this world has to offer.” So this is Celine.

I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING!

Celine, your rage is showing.

I’ve been waiting a long time to get some… personal time between us.

Damian is trying to ring it back in on the manipulation front.

THERE IS NOTHING YOU OR HE CAN DO TO STOP ME!

Calm the hell down, Celine.

So… now that we are here together… we should really get to know each other.

Ringing it back in.

*Screams*

Celine is pissed and struggling for control.

You just need to let me in… it’s as simple as that.

Damian here with the temptation, “it’s so easy to give in, and then I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” ALSO AHHHH WKM REFERENCE

You’re never, EVER going to escape me, not now…

Okay, so this sounds like Damian’s manipulation, maybe. Maybe he was going to continue with something like “not now, not ever, so just give in.” On the other hand, it’s also a bit too threatening for that manipulative charm he’s going for.

If you shoot Mark:

You made the right call. Come here, it’s okay, it’s okay. Oh man. I am so sorry, are you okay? You had to kill somebody… I feel so bad. But hey, it’s okay. We’re here now, we can continue the date with some ice cream. (Orders ice cream, nothing deep here.) its going to be alright. Just relax, we’ll enjoy some nice, dairy-based treats and erm, get to know each other. Really, personally. Go ahead!

To analyze this, we have to compare it to Mark’s dialogue: You made the right call. Come here. Oh man, I am so sorry about that. You literally had to kill somebody, but I’m glad you’re taking it in stride. So let’s get back to the date, relax with some nice ice cream. (Orders ice cream.) Thank you, I have nothing. Sit, sit! Let’s just relax and enjoy our ice cream together and get to know each other again as man and you. Go ahead! Go on!

Did you catch that? MARK DOESNT CARE AS MUCH. You just MURDERED somebody, and he’s concerned about the date. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay, doesn’t tell you it’s alright, he doesn’t care. He only wants to get laid. But Dark does care. Because he SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COLONEL. And he doesn’t want that to happen to you. Also Mark’s a dick.

Oops. Looks like you made the wrong choice. But now we’re going to be together… forever.

There’s really nothing to analyze here, except maybe that Dark knows we see him as the villain.

Bonus:

Interesting thing I noticed, if you follow the motion (which you sorta can because of the way it’s cut) MARK is the one who pulls out the gun.

Also, Dark says: Shoot him, he needs to die, he is dark, he is bad, Don’t listen to him, he’s a liar, he’s weird, he does bad things to good people, shoot him now. But he never claims to BE Mark. He could be using dark as an adjective. And he’s right. Mark DID do bad things to good people. He IS a liar.

Meanwhile, Mark says: You don’t have much time. He’s going to kill everybody. What are you talking about? Why are you even debating this? Shoot him now. He’s Dark, I’m Mark. He’s a liar, he’s weird, he’s got weird eyes, don’t trust him at all, shoot him now. I find this especially interesting for a few reasons. First, Dark never killed anyone, as far as we know, and he pretty obviously wasn’t interested in KILLING us, he wanted to OWN us. Second, Mark asks us why we’re even debating this, when it’s… pretty damn obvious! And that’s a fucking dick move to ask. Unless Mark actually sees Dark differently than we do. Which also kinda makes sense, “he’s got weird eyes,” yeah, his eyes are normal.

#theories #darkiplier #wilford warfstache #mayor damien #the seer celine #a date with markiplier #wkm

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duskholland · 6 years

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Favourite blog(s)? Love your blog~♡ and you of course!

hi nonnie. I love you !!

before I dive in, I’m just going to disclose that I’m really deep in the ‘oh my god I love my friends so much???’ mood so it’s likely I’m just going to ramble at you for a wee while. I’ll try n keep it short. bottom line is, follow everyone I’m about to rec. also, I split the list into (approximate) fandoms to make it easier for myself aha. FOLLOW THEM ALL!

UPDATE: this took me an entire hour. I’m not kidding. I really…I really love my friends. it also ended up being so long that it required a keep reading…

Dylan // Teen Wolf (pretty much…):

@savage-stilinski gotta start off w my fave. I’ve known Julia since our 5sos days and we actually used to be in a group chat together about…geez…I have no idea how long it’s been? it feels like a million years ago. she’s lovely though. I love her n her blog is Quality Content. we’re also working on a collab that’ll be coming out soon so look out for that!!!

@isacclahys Krystal is a gem. that’s the bottom line. we’ve been pals forever and the day I stop recommending her blog and incredible writing is the day I kick the bucket. it’s all amazing; she’s the best. and also the only one I trust to correct my grammar 😂

@lovefilledtragedy gotta give some love to Audrey! she ruined my life by introducing me to Spring Awakening (it’s a musical. it’ll end you. it ended me). also,,,she has a really cute dog and she’s just ??? so, so lovely (Audrey but I guess this also applies to Cookie lmao) !! your dash will be improved x1000 by following her.

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone sticking w the theme of Audrey, this is another Audrey who I love love l o v e. she’s so friendly - so friendly - and her blog is just such a positive place to be!

@ninja-stiles Brittttttt! follow her!! fun story, so she and Audrey (lovefilledtragedy Audrey) have managed to both corrupt me. they infect each other with their obsessions (COUGH Frank Dillane,,,,markiplier) and then somewhere along the lines I get caught in the crossfire. they’ve caused me to obsess over people I don’t even know ?? but like, really…Britt’s amazing. her blog is great, her writing is great, she is great. I will rec her til the day I die.

@thelittlestkitsune wooooords cannot simply describe how much I love Lau’s blog. her writing is exquisite. it’s all amazing, but I highly suggest reading Faded and CEO. she’s such a great writer and an even better person. there’s nothing more to say bc I just think she’s great and honestly…I can’t believe I’m actually friends w her??? 😂

@skepticalstilinski ayyyy Fiona’s a lovely human being. v sweet, v open, v friendly. she’s just great!! (I’m…I’m running out of descriptive phrases but just know she’s a m a z i n g!)

@were-cheetah-stiles I’m just gonna slip in this lil one and tell you that if you don’t follow Cat you’re really missing out. her writing ends me. ends me. she’s the reason I was CRYING FOR AN HOUR LAST NIGHT. cough. not kidding. happy tears tho but….still tears. (and it was actually an hour too??? so, so long?). all her writing is amazing but I suggest starting with The Mistake and going from there…if you’re still alive. she’s great, too, and is definitely a very very positive addition to my dash

@redstringlovers Sammie is loooovely. so, so sweet and incredibly nice. (I’m running out of adjectives here but just know she’s basically just a sunbeam). her blog is a great place n will greatly improve your tumblr experience!

@golddaggers I love this blog. so much (SO MUCH). we’ve never really interacted before but they seem so lovely and just….. there’s some incredible writing right there.

@wittystiles ugh. Sam’s writing. don’t get me started, I won’t be able to shut up 😂😂 amazing !! brilliant !! fantastic !! just…fucking awesome, nonnie. check it out! check her out bc she’s also amazing?

@rememberstilinski listen. I remember when Kenzie followed me verrrry clearly. picture this: I’m at my best friend’s house. we’re chilling, watching Buzzfeed Unsolved. it’s calm (well…as calm as it can be with Ryan s c r e a m i n g) until I refresh my notifications. I pause. I gasp. I can’t believe my eyes. my friend looks at me, asks if I’m okay. and god. this is fucking embarrassing and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t EVER tell this story cbbesfhofuh OKAY ANYWAY I look at my friend and I’m like ‘I can die now. let the angel of death take me’. I’m not kidding. my friend thought (and still thinks) I’m fucking crazy. I ended up almost crying. it was..odd…it was just a really surreal experience that Kenzie liked my blog enough to follow me. I’d liked her blog for so long and I just could NOT believe it. but yeah, Kenzie’s blog is just brilliant. her writing is incredible, she seems like an amazing person (and lowkey every time she reblogs my writing I just die). so yeah. add her to the list of people to check out because FUCK she is great. okay I’m done now I’m sorry for the massive tangent and also @/kenzie if you read this I want you to know that I’m not weird or anything I just really love your blog ahahaha 😂

@maddie110201 such a loooooovely girl. amazing blog, too. follow follow follow.

okay…here’s me getting lazy and deciding that my fingers hurt…

everyone I’m about to list is AMAZING and I would’ve typed them a little bit individually but…I’m lazy…I’m sorry. most of them are writers and HOLY FUCK do I recommend their writing.

@fillthevoid-stilinski @mf-despair-queen @minhosmeanhoe (girl I fucking adore your URL) @laheyinfatuate @susybird @sumcp @void-obriens @ellie-bee242 @inkstiles @dylan-trash-tbh @writing-obrien @bonniebird @dumbass-stilinski @obrosey-af @werewolfmutant @iknowisoundcrazy @behind-my-hazeleyes27 @stilinski-jpeg @stilinskiimagines @molesandmischief @stilinski-lover-24 @stilinski-stydia-obrien @lovelydob

RIGHT MOVING ONTO EVERYONE ELSE. I’m gonna lump y’all under misc because that’s a lot easier than trying to individually classify everyone according to blogs, n stuff. let’s do this.

Misc:

@swooncalumswoon my ride or die. follow Ellie, read her writing, l o v e her. I know I do.

@penelope-clearwaters Demi is amazing. she isn’t active on tumblr much anymore but…again…the day I stop rec-ing her blog is the day I die. SUCH A LOVELY WOMAN.

@irwinscuddlebuddy Alice is just amazing. I love her so, so much. similar to her blog, she is a High Quality Person.

@truthorclifford Mason’s pickup lines…legendary. she’s brilliant, her blog is equally as amazing! follow for a great tumblr time!! (I feel like a car salesman?)

@irwxnhugsx Sandra is lovely n her mood boards are bloody incredible. follow her also

again…I’m lazy…so just follow the rest of the ppl here. they’re all brilliant. 10/10.

@belameblake @lostincalum @constant-calum @like-screams-set-on-fire @lukesafallingstar @herewegoagainniall @calumhoodpainsme @candescentcalum @caffeinatedcalum @wastethemuke @ihatethisbandsos @mangoeharry

#hi #sorry anon i just...got very carried away lmao #i just love love #so much #and when i love something/someone i get really excited about it/them #so yeah #im always gonna use an opportunity to express the love i have for my friends #ALWAYS #let me know if you want any fic recs or anything!#friends #anon

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captainschmoe · 7 years

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I was tagged by @darling-bucky to answer 11 questions and come up with 11 of my own for the next people. Let’s get to it. I swear I don’t mean to write novels for answers but I guess I just looooove talking about myself too much just kill me Wilford

1. How do you feel about the concept of living forever?

See, on the one hand, I’m scared of death and would love to live a much longer time than I’m currently forecasting I’d live. But the problem is that I don’t know how much my feelings on the topic would change after 30-50 years or so. And I definitely don’t think I’d want to live forever, though perhaps a longer time than normal for humans? I just want to see how the world progresses. That’s something that makes me down. That no one is able to see what the world looks like after they die.

As far as the whole “but you’ll have to see everyone around you die!” Well... yeah. That is another huge problem. Such a problem could potentially be mitigated by the fact that I could potentially leave a big impact on the world at large, but... would I? Would I be significant enough of a figure to make this whole “living super long” thing worth it? Would I want to be a significant figure in society? Is that pressure I can handle?

I’ll have to decline.

2. What’s your main fandom and how did you get into it?

Obviously, my main fandom is the Youtuber communities, primarily Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, and Crankgameplays. They dominate my blog. I discovered Mark in September last year when I was visiting and old friend and she said “you HAVE to watch this guy, he’s hilarious.” And she showed me the Nota-Pe-Nis videos. (She was right.) And I kind of left him alone after that, but months later I saw other people here on Tumblr who would put Youtubers they liked to watch in their about pages, and he and Jacksepticeye, among others, cropped up a lot. For whatever reason (most likely randomly), I chose to watch Jack first, and I got extremely addicted to his energy and binge-watched all 99 episodes of Happy Wheels in a week or so. After that, I still wasn’t satisfied, so I started binge-watching Reading Your Comments.

I don’t really remember what happened after that, like how I re-discovered Mark, or how I came across Ethan (I do know that I discovered Ethan through Mark, but even then, I don’t remember which video). At the time, my primary fandom was still Hetalia. It wasn’t until mid-April when I fully discovered Antisepticeye that my focus shifted entirely towards Youtubers, where it remains to this day.

My other big fandom now is Pokemon, which I didn’t into until I was 14 or so. By that time, Diamond and Pearl were almost out. My first game was Colosseum for the Gamecube, because that was the system I played the most. I was inspired to get a Pokemon game after reading the Pokemon trophies in Super Smash Bros. Melee. Which I was inspired to get after watching a skit performed by a group of people for the middle school talent show (I liked them a lot and their skit was really funny).

3. What’s your ideal home? When you picture your future home, what do you see?

Right here. I’m really attached to this place I grew up and spent my entire life in. I can’t really imagine myself living anywhere outside “the corridor” (what we call the area around Interstate 380). All of my relatives are here. All of my memories are here. I feel like this is just the place I belong?

I love the countryside, I love the kind of place my grandparents have. Nice and peaceful, where I can run around with no one else to bother me. But that’s not very practical considering winter driving and all that. So I want to live in a more suburban area (which I currently do). I can’t decide whether I like old-timey or a modern aesthetic more, though I’m leaning more old-timey.

4. Storms or sunshine?

Storms are really pretty and relaxing. I just like the grays and the mist.

5. What’s your earliest memory?

See #9 below. My entire childhood is a blur. I’m honestly kind of envious of people who can clearly remember events from when they were little kids.

6. What’s your favorite movie, and movie genre?

I never watch movies. If I had to pick a genre, it’d be either animated movies or nature documentaries. So many weird and wonderful things live in this world!

7. What are you passionate about?

I have become so passionate about health and wellness since taking a job at the hospital. Disease, diet, lifestyle, mental stuff, you name it, I like it.

8. Night owl or morning person? Or both?

I sleep from roughly 3:30 – 11:30 am. I’ve always been that person who stays up until the crack of dawn and sleeps until mid-afternoon, if left to my own devices. Plus I currently work second shift at work, which I chose specifically to play into my natural tendencies.

9. Have you ever broken a bone?

Broke my right pinkie finger in second grade. It was during the winter, and we’d come in from recess, and I’m one of those lazy people who takes off shoes and boots by stepping on the heel instead of sitting down and pulling it off. To balance myself, I put my hand up on the wall. My coat hook – and thus the place I was standing – was the closest to the door, and I’d accidently put my finger in the space between the hinges. It slammed shut, and ta-da! Busted.

I also broke a tooth in high school. During marching band season, while the rest of the band was outside practicing their formations, I and the other pit crew and the color guard were inside doing our stuff. I got slammed in the face with a flag that one of the other pit people decided to pick up and wave around while I walked behind her to get to the xylophone.

10. Do you have any pets?

None living with me right now, sadly. I want a cat. Although, my folks have a dog that I still call my dog because I’m so attached to her. She’s a yorkie/chihuahua mix and she’s my favorite dog and I’m her favorite human. She’s the reason I love chihuahuas so much. They’re so cute and funny!

11. Free space. Tell me what’s on your mind!

Endigo’s Youtuber songs are stuck in my head. The only way I can get one out is to put another one in.

Also, fuck gnats.

And now I ask of you:

1. Any little quirks of yours?

2. What type of scenery appeals to you the most?

3. We all have them. Any cringey things you did as a tween?

4. Would you consider yourself philosophical?

5. I had to bring it up. Pineapple on pizza Y/N?

6. If you had to move to another country, which one?

7. What is your favorite name?

8. When was the last time you cried or got choked up for positive reasons?

9. Are there any bugs you think are actually kind of cute?

10. What is your dream job?

11. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?

I ask these of @thatonebubblebitch, @crazilyawesomeme, @fear-is-nameless, @hufflepufftrax, @fsocietydotdat, @katielovesyoutubers35, @jacksinsanity, @huggiebird, @lisasepticsuperplier, and @melviiiis

#I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT LAST QUESTION POPPED INTO MY BRAIN OKAY #what do I even tag this as #chain game #I guess

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troubleshooting-phoenix · 6 years

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Escape

That’s what the train tickets were called, and it felt like a good description for that whole trip.

Hey. I said I would give some more details about the trip I was talking about last time, and here I am.

I worked until 7pm the day before, and was up until midnight finishing packing and getting ready. Not that it mattered, I have chronic insomnia and the excitement and nervous energy for the trip and the show was going to make sleeping nearly impossible. I did sleep for at least 2 or 3 hours though. And then at butt crack in the morning, my aunt drove me to pick up my travel buddy and drove us both to the train station.

She talked about wanting coffee, but I was pretty focused on keeping myself from exploding in fiery ball of excitement. I don’t like coffee anyway. (Shh... no one tell Jack. I don’t want to be disowned from the fan base!) She had also warned me that she would likely sleep on the train ride, so I had brought along Jenny Lawson’s Furiously Happy which I had been meaning to read forever, colouring books, notebooks, playing cards and of course my cell phone of music and games, to keep me occupied. Yes, like a small child, I need to be occupied.

She did not sleep on the train ride.

Instead, we ended up having rather deep and intimate conversations, on a public train. My favourite part is that these stories are things that would likely be somewhat disturbing to other people, but were of little concern to either of us, because they were things we had accepted as normal for years.

Just to give you an idea of the subject matter... a lot of conversations that weekend involved our dead, alcoholic fathers, as well as abuse, neglect, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. I feel like that makes it sound like I’ve had such a rough life. I personally don’t think my life has been that bad... my friend’s life has been much more difficult. There are definitely some things in my past that as an adult, I have learned, are not normal, as I always thought them to be. Live and learn!

She also had to listen to me ramble on about Jacksepticeye at points, and try to figure out if there were things she would need to know about him before the show. She’d seen a few of his videos, and I knew she’d enjoy his sense of humour, since she’s a Markiplier fan. Which is... totally not my fault. I definitely didn’t talk about Mark so much that she started watching his videos, and then realized that he also calmed her anxiety, causing me to drag her into the fandom further. Does that sound like something I would do? ... It’s totally something I did. I’m actively trying to convince her to be a Jack fan as well, but it can take a bit to get past the screaming... especially for anxiety cases with horrifying flash backs that are tied to men screaming. For similar reasons, I also took a little while to get past the abrasive TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES! I actually find it soothing now. Go figure.

Of course, we flipped back and forth between these subject matters and sprinkles of other things, like areas we passed through, or general life things. At one very distinct point, I may have exclaimed, “Look! A wind turbine!”

To which she responded, “Yes? Have you never seen one before?”

“Not in the wild!” I explained. It made sense in my head, but she burst into a fit of giggles at the thought of ‘wind turbines in the wild’ and it became a recurring theme of the trip. It’s fine. I can laugh at myself. Besides, I know that I’m crazy and some of the non-sense that falls out of my face, doesn’t register the same way in other people’s brains.

It was a four hour train ride, but it felt like nothing. That’s what good friends are all about. I don’t have a lot of friends, but they’re good ones. Ones that I get along well with, click with and can depend on.

We eventually arrived in Toronto. I had looked up the route from the train station to our Air BnB, because I was very prepared for this trip. Being prepared, almost overly prepared for things, is how I manage the anxious voice in my head constantly going “something is going to go wrong... any... minute”. As prepared as I was, I had no idea where the bus station was, so I gladly followed my friend, who decided that she needed to take care of me, the poor, innocent, child-like, small town girl.

I didn’t help my case, by staring straight up and going, “Holy shit! These buildings ARE tall!”, and then just standing and staring up at them every time she stopped to try and figure out where we were. She tried to complain about the buildings being all you could see and I’m pretty sure I responded with, “I’m being a tourist! Let me have this!” and she agreed that I was a tourist. After wandering around what seemed to her at least, like forever (I was in my magical land of absorbing my surroundings), we found out that I hadn’t gotten bus routes at all. I had found subway routes to our Air BnB. We don’t have a subway in Ottawa, I had no fucking idea what the icon looked like. I know now, I guess. “I hate the subway.” My friend said, and would repeat, at least 20 times during our trip. It became another theme, along with me using the excuse, “Yeah, but I can’t tell the difference between a bus and the subway.”, for basically every other stupid thing I said or did.

We survived the subway. I quite enjoyed the experience actually... which is strange, because I used to take panic attacks on buses at one point. I think I just had so much adrenaline coursing through my body that it couldn’t focus on all the people around us. I was also trying to make sure my friend didn’t take a panic attack herself, since she “hated the subway”. Also, in my defense, I said we could FIGURE out the bus route, and she declared that the buses were terrible and the subway was faster, and wouldn’t help me figure out a bus route. So we took the subway.

We killed some time at a restaurant and then checked into our Air BnB. It was a really nice little bachelor pad, that I booked for the night, for a decent price and was in walking distance of the music hall. Being the fucked up anxiety cases we are, we discussed how it nice it was that it didn’t seem like we were going to be murdered.

The show. Oh the show. I had warned her I was going to be crazy, and luckily I had warned her so much, she said afterwards that she had expected me to be worse than I was. One thing most people don’t seem to understand is that excitement... is pretty close to anxiety. So when I get excited, I can get really over the top excited, in the same way that I get really over the top anxious. We are talking... wiggling, dancing, jumping around because I-literally-cannot-stand-still excited.

When we got to the music hall, we had to walk for 10 years, down like 3 blocks to get to the end of the line that had formed, to get in. 10 years is an obvious exaggeration, while 3 blocks is probably an understatement. If you have ever needed a visual representation of what 1,400 people looks like... don’t go sit in the theater with them, walk the fucking line at the front door. It makes me wish Jack could have walked along it, just to feel how many people it really was. But let’s be honest, that would cause a scene.

My poor Toronto Sherpa had to listen to me ramble on about Jack, while I was bouncing around and desperately trying not to poke at her, because she hates that. When we finally got inside, I had a moment where I was so overwhelmed that I had to let the energy out and I excitedly clapped my hands and jumped a little. The sudden clap surprised her and she shook her head. “You’re cute.”

Normally, I fight the statement, “You’re cute”, and yes, it’s not the first time I’ve been told I’m cute. In that moment though, I was more happy to be called cute, than get a “could you not do that?”, because honestly, there was no promising that it wouldn’t happen again.

We stood in the merch line and I got a poster (because I have a thing for posters), and a pin (because he has a thing for pins, and I knew he was proud of this one). I also handed over the strange package I had thrown together for him. I have literally no idea if he got it, but hey, maybe he’s better off if he didn’t. It was a bunch of glow sticks... because if he’s the man I think he is, he likes glow sticks. ( I don’t know. Are there people who DON’T like glow sticks? ) There may have also been a ridiculously sappy, and novel-length fan letter. Oh boy. I had been back and forth on actually handing it over and then the words, “Can we leave stuff here for Jack?” fell out of my mouth and the super friendly merch lady said, “Absolutely!” and then suddenly she had the package and my purse was slightly lighter. I don’t know if it was a good decision, but it happened and if he read that fucking letter... I just hope it didn’t come off too crazy and he felt appreciated.

We were guided to out seats, and I just enjoyed the energy in the room. That’s the best part of live... anything. The energy you get from the crowd. This crowd of people who are there, with you, for the same reason you’re there... to enjoy the thing you have come to see. The energy at this show was perhaps better, because it was a small fraction of the community there with you. Earlier, when we had gotten off the bus, someone had seen my hat and asked whether we were going to the 4 or 8 o’clock show. Normally being approached by a stranger freaks me out, but I LOVED that moment. I loved that a random person on a train, recognized my hat, and was also going to be at the 4 o’clock show. He was somewhere in that energy, that day too!

I mentioned this before, but I’m saying it again. Apparently I shook violently through the whole show. “Yeah, it vibrated my seat. Probably helped to keep my back from hurting, so thanks.” My friend told me. I didn’t notice it at the time, but I guess it makes sense. I was on an absolute excitement high. I was hyper focused on everything that happened, and my concentration has been shit for months, so it was pretty amazing.

Jack was hilarious, but I knew that he would be. More importantly, he was real and close enough that I could see him without the binoculars my mother had sent with me. What I wasn’t expecting was the journey, that show took me on and the message it ended with.

I needed that.

I didn’t know it was what I was getting, but I needed it. Somehow Jack (and I keep calling him Jack, and will continue to, so this doesn’t get confusing, but his name is actually Sean, just for clarity)... somehow Jack always seems to do exactly what I need, without even knowing I exist. It’s part of the magic of youtube, I’m pretty sure... even if this was a live show.

I slept worse that night, but I was happy. Ridiculous, crazy happy. Which is not something I often experience. I spent a good portion of the night reading the book I brought, which only helped to push me further in the right direction.

By the way, things get weird when you’re trapped in a bachelor apartment with someone trying to sleep when your insomniac ass can’t do that thing. The best part was my friend, who also has anxiety and sleeping problems, woke up a lot through out the night, and would experience snippets of my insanity. I started out laying on the floor, watching youtube videos until the internet crapped out. Then I listened to some music in bed, to try and sleep. Played some phone games. Then I decided to read and shut myself into the bathroom for like half an hour so I could use the light in there, when I remembered that I had brought some red glow sticks.

I brought red glow sticks in case I chickened out giving the green ones to Jack, and I could break them all and have a glow stick party in the room to make myself feel better. But I gave the green ones to Jack, I already told you that. So I was sitting in the bed, reading by glow stick, when I heard, “Are you alright?”

I glanced over my shoulder and sighed. “Yes... I’m just reading my book...” I held it up and then lifted the red, glowing stick. “With my glow stick.” There was a long silence before I turned to face her more. “Don’t judge me.”

“I’m not. That’s actually kind of genius.” She admitted.

“It’s not the first time I’ve been awake in a hotel room with other people sleeping.” I explained, and then went on to explain why I had the glow sticks.

“I have no response to that.” She muttered, and then tried to go back to sleep. I mean, is a glow stick party really that crazy?

Anyway, that’s it. That’s the day that returned to me, my will to live. I was a little worried when I got home and felt the weight of life hit me again, but as of today, I can happily admit that I am coming out of my depression. I love how all the colours feel brighter, and Jack’s videos sound louder. Yes, I have reached a point where I like it when his videos sound louder!

I’m still not in a great place, perhaps not even a good one yet, but I’m on the way now. I’m finally recovering. There’s more troubleshooting to do here though. Wish me luck!

~ Phoenix

#anxiety #depression #I'm insane

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