#maybe because i played it recently? i remember being more stuck on some of them but im zooming through the game

[taupewolfy]

nooow was it break the bottle for the letter first or the suitcase......apparently i remember how to solve the puzzles really well but the story has exited my mind

#maybe because i played it recently? i remember being more stuck on some of them but im zooming through the game #tbh another code is already a short game as is (around 4-5 hours) and on a replay you can easy shave off 1 or 2 hours #forgot that some of the extra info on the edwards actually comes from the blue DAS cards...idk why i always thought #it was from notes and stuff??? im so curious on how the switch remake will be doing these puzzles #for code R im less curious because switch has 'motion' controls so i could see those being smoother #or optional. the transition between gameplay will be less drastic is what im saying

[bengiyo]

The Sign Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

It's been too long, so I barely remember where we are. We left at Tharn somehow maybe saving Phaya and getting stuck in a cave to maybe say goodbye because Chalothorn threatened him or whatever. Chart got caught for being undercover. The rest of the gang was lost in the woods. Anyway, let's finish this.

Wait, how are they successfully tracking anyone? I thought there was no phone service.

Oh lord don't start death flagging with promises about rings.

Damn, I feel bad for Chart. That final kick delivery was actually pretty good.

Bestie said they didn't need rope to get them out of the hole. The power of the Warrior's Bond and Yai's arms was enough.

I watch too much American action. The bullet stuff is giving recent Fast films.

Well, there goes Khem.

Why would they let Tharn run after them alone? He literally loses every fight.

Mhmm, see, Chalothorn had to intervene.

Montree still being afraid of Tharn came across clearly.

Damn, y'all ain't even shower before going back home?

Here we go. One last look at Babe's waistline before it ends.

Oof, the only thing Tharn responded to was an admission of his love.

Finally, 🍑

Oh, I liked that shot of the water leaking through the bed to show that Tharn was gone.

I feel like the grandma has always known more than she let on.

Did we really repeat the exact same death scenario? Chalothorn, you really suck at this. The circle remains unbroken.

I know Phaya's doctors have got to be frustrated that he keeps drowning.

Is Dao in France to cut down on filming schedule conflicts?

I love when dramas show the passage of time with facial hair.

So... Chalothorn just...got over it off screen?

Oh, a second season tag and Saint cameo. I guess?

Final Verdict: 5.5, Great Gowns, Beautiful Gowns. Overall, I just don't think the elements of this show ever really came together. I think the first two episodes of training and mythology teasers, along with the Lieutenant Tam mystery, made me expect these elements to circle and eventually converge in a more cohesive way. I also feel like some of the side stuff didn't really work. I thought some of the mythology about the Naga and Garuda was really interesting, but I didn't exactly feel the cycle they were stuck in playing out in this drama. I'm also hugely annoyed about the core angst evaporating off screen. So, in the end, I'll mostly remember it as copaganda.

That being said, I thought the cast chemistry was solid, and I really liked the execution and use of the CGI. I like that IdolFactory keeps trying more things, but I do think we need to get stronger script writers and editors in the room with a stronger say on the planning front.

#Ben watches #the sign the series #thai bl #bl series

[majesticwren]

being in love with MJF headcanons:

✨friends to lovers✨ dynamic - may you be aware of it or completely oblivious just as Max is, this thing would be going on from and for forever. slow burning, pining and bittersweet. you'd possibly be childhood friends. the kind of friends that met by chance, maybe during a class assignment or at a b-day party, and just stuck together. but you might as well have met recently, the bond between the two of you would be the same.

you'd be the kind of friends that finish each other sentences as you speak.

you'd order each other food just because you know exactly each other taste.

one of you would message or call at the same time as the other is checking their phone only because you tend to think about the other, or miss them, at the same time.

no one ever wants to play the mr & mrs game with you because you two are annoyingly unbeatable. and you always team up. like always. even when you are with someone else.

you rock at giving each other the best presents. birthdays, christmas/hanukkah, random events, they are perfect every time. there's no competition. if you had been involved with someone else at the time, this particular event had caused problems in the relationship. no partner likes to be outshined by the person who is supposed to be "just a friend".

on this note, in his private life, Max is absolutely terrible at remembering dates, events or even appointments. unless it involves you. not that he had been involved much, but when he had been, something like this would never be easily forgotten or ignored by his partners.

you spend so much time together. like an impossible amount of time. you are so used to it that you move around each other's houses like it's your own. not only that, in each other house you've got a spare toothbrush, phone charger, some clothes and your favourite pillow - just in case. you've got each other spare key and the freedom to drop unattended.

you are so used to spending time together being apart for more than a few days is painful.

and with Maxwell's job happens often.

but you get invited to follow him as often as possible.

you are his number one supporter, of course, always. and you must enjoy wrestling just as much as Max does. you have to be careful saying you've got other favourite wrestlers though, especially if they are Max's colleagues in AEW because he can be jealous.

he is jealous regardless.

never once he liked one of your partners and every time it wouldn't work out he would arrogantly say "I told you so", offering one of his cocky smiles, never realising no relationship ever worked for either of you because you were basically involved with each other.

see the thing is, Max is completely emotionally unavailable. He is totally terrified of getting attached to people, which makes him a prime example of the avoidant type - which makes him a walking red flag.

he stuck with you though.

your friends don't like him. they know your relationship with the guy isn't healthy but trying to get you away from Max is impossible.

his friends, instead, adore you just cause they can tell what you mean to him. but getting him to realise as well is impossible - he's just dumb and blind.

and it goes without saying you are basically part of each other's families.

it's tradition for you to spend the holidays with Max's family and more often than not, whenever there's a family gathering, you are also invited.

he has definitely brought you as his plus one at more than one wedding or bar mitzvah.

ever since you danced to fallingforyou, by the 1975, that has become your song. you both listen to it thinking about each other. but you're just friends.

everyone knows you are completely and desperately in love with each other, but you got so good at pretending you were only friends you had no ears for any of it. both of you.

you'd be the kind of friends that are actually a couple in everything but the sexual aspect of things.

he is that kind of guy. he likes to fuck around without getting involved. that's the way he likes it. every relationship he had has been brief and without strings.

that's the way he feels safe and in control.

you know well about all of his conquests and are extremely good at hiding how much it hurts that his choice, in the end, is never you. you are only friends after all.

he doesn't consider the possibility of being attracted to you. not because he is totally unaware of the fact that deep down he is, but because getting there with you would possibly mean ruining what you have.

as already noted, he is big, dumb and blind.

he'd never admit what he feels for you because the fear of being rejected petrifies him.

and you wouldn't do anything to change it either because of a similar fear. to lose him would mean to lose your sun.

you are the kind of friends that hold hands and cuddles, even in public. Max often has his arm around your shoulders and you, naturally, have your hand in the back pocket of his pants. in crowded places, where sits run low, you sit on his lap with ease and zero embarrassments.

you are even used to kissing each other on the lips. not so regularly to be something you are used to, but it is not uncommon either.

you had never fully made out though, that falls into sexual stuff.

you don't do it often. it's generally more of a goodbye thing you do when you know you won't see each other for a long time - just in case.

it all started as a bet someone had thrown and both of you were so stubborn to prove to be just friends you did, in fact, kiss.

And then you kept doing it. softly though, like keeping a secret.

deep down you both know it means something. it leaves behind an undertone of guilt and desire that you both can't shake.

but you are just friends.

a/n1: these headcanons are g/n and can suit anyone. it is absolutely compatible with mjfxadam cole if you like. because it's so totally canon you can't tell me otherwise but i've decided to focus on mjfxyou in general.

a/n2: i've dreamed about mjf and this dynamic last night and couldn't take it out my fucking mind all day. had to write it down. I can't afford to fall into another fanfic - even when this could totally be one and I am cheeky and I've left out all the best parts - but I also do not have time to throw myself into another project and I'm notorious for struggling finishing fics :')

a/n3: don't ask me what this brainrot is. I do not know. don't hold me accountable. sorry about the typos. as I said my brain is rotting away. bye ✨

a/n4: i've fallen into another fic - this is now happening, find it here

#mjf #maxwell jacob friedman #mjf x reader #mjf x you #maxwell jacob friedman x reader #mjf imagine #mjf aew #adamjf

[secret-subject]

Do You Ever Just Forget How To Do Hypnosis?

Not even joking. This isn't some sort of shit-post I promise, but sometimes with ADHD brain going brrrr I will get into my hypnosis thing whether it be a script or a live scene and my brian will just go:

"hey are you sure you actually remember how to do hypnosis?"

So the question is, how do we combat this feeling? Because let's be honest it's one that is not rational nor required when you are tisting on the regular and like me have a busy work schedule of giving people the hypnosis feels. (As a quick side note, in a scene with a trusted partner it would be hot af to have your ability to "fight back" with hypnosis taken away, especially if you were both switches with sticky fingers and brains, but I'm going to pocket that for another time...)

Step one: Take a break! I'm not even kidding. I know when my battery is dead energy wise I am more prone to this kind of thinking. Maybe you are tired or overworked as a dominant/top (the person doing the hypnosis doesn't always have to be dominant). I know people who can literally do scene after scene after scene, and that has never been me. I literally went three years without hypnotizing anyone outside of making audios and livestreaming, including my wife, because I was chronically ill and just worn down. You can't be a super tist if you aren't taking care of yourself. So, take a break. Look after yourself. If you aren't doing that it could be a sign that burnout is coming, or approaching and you need to protect yourself. Never be afraid to say "that's enough". Many times I've hit my limit not only long term but mid scene as a Domme. It's okay and it's very normal and I wish we spoke about it more.

Step two: Try something new! Sometimes, I get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over. I love repetition and conditioning using it is fun but wow, it can get boring for everyone. So this feeling could be a sign it's time to read some smut, listen to some audios, read the blogs and try something new. It might not work, but it might also be the best thing you've ever done. Recently I also have been sending tiny audios to friends based on whims or ideas I've been thinking of. This is a great way to test something new, low stakes, and play around. I also recommend having people you can talk to. I love to befriend other hypnosis creators and community members because not only are they just "built different" and fun to be around but also I can hear them talk about their passions, which reignites mine and we can pool ideas.

Set three: Read some resources! Education is so important in this scene. Now that doesn't mean do what I did and go to a certifcation course, I don't think people outside of people wanting to be a professional hypnotist should do this. But it is important to refresh your knowledge and not be afraid to learn. Now I am an ex-teacher so I am biased as hell about the importance of education, but, it's not hard to upgrade your skills with a little education. Mind Play is a great book, I always recommend it for being simple to read. Go to a class at a convention or locally (they have them online too so you can access them even in places far away like New Zealand). Join a hypnosis discord with discussion rooms or groups. Talk to others about their experiences. Watch a YouTube video on hypnosis. Listen to podcasts about it. These are all educational tools for upgrading your skills and even if like me you've been doing this for an eternity (or what feels like it) you can still refresh your skills and maybe you might learn something that helps get you out of that funk.

So these are just some of the things that help when my brain decides to gaslight me into thinking I am terrible at this. I know this is never going to be one side fits all but I think it's important to talk about imposter syndrome from all sides of the watch.

Have you ever felt like this? And if so what did you do about it? I'd love to keep this conversation going!

-Secret

#hypnok1nk #content creation #hypnosis community #secret subject #just musings I guess #some sort of hypnosis essay

[writefinch]

Communion

(cn: piss, foot stuff)

It clicked for me about a month ago, years after it had become apparent to the people who knew me, but I'm not short-sighted and self-pitying enough to think that meant I'd wasted time or could've made the leap sooner. If I was less kind to myself I'd say 'boy, I had the maps and I knew the landmarks so how'd I end up in the wilderness so long' but I was sailing through fog, and you know what? When I saw that landmass looming in the distance, I sailed towards it.

I didn't know totally what it meant, still don't in fact. Last year I joked about being a cis boy dyke, and since then I've struck the 'cis' and I'm shaky on the 'boy' and the part that was a joke was the truest thing of all.  Am I a boy? Maybe. A woman? I don't think so. A man? I truly fucking hope not. A good girl? Put a collar on me and we'll see.

The thing about fog is that you can't just step back and get a big picture view of everything. My instincts tell me that if I want to figure things out I should look at them at a remove, see where it fits into everything around it, map things out and move forward cautiously. That's what I want to do, it's what I've always done, but fog makes it impossible. You have to get in close if you want to see things, you can't keep it at a distance.

I couldn't move ahead and start hormones right away, not for a few months, for reasons I won't get into here. Delays don't sit well with me brain because I know my brain and I don't trust it, I don't trust it not to treat this like some other big rewarding involving project like learning Polish or playing Go, decide we're too busy and it's too scary and shove the whole thing into a mental oubliette to never see the light of day again. Sure, my friends call me Charlotte now and I've got she/her next to my Discord username, but I wanted something stronger, I wanted something that would cut into me.

I can't remember the name of the first trans woman I knew as a person, rather than as a punchline to a cruel joke. It was on Tumblr and it must have been after 2015 because I remember she had an Undyne avatar, but maybe not, because surely Violet, the "boy" I'd been practically engaged to, had come out as trans at that point? Surely I knew Skeeter, that poor, vicious mess of a girl well enough by then? It must have been earlier than that, the ponies had turned me queer by 2013 at the latest.

No, no, the Undyne-avatar lady was the first time I saw someone I knew be openly *Marxist-Leninist*, she was just also trans.

Anyway I don't know what it was, but even though I was rock-solid confident in being cis and a guy (a guy or a dude, it never bought me any joy to think of myself as a 'man'), something about trans women just really stuck with me. I found their stories compelling, I found their experiences interesting and oddly relatable, though I didn't suffer dysphoria as I thought they described it. I made friends with some trans girls, some of my friends became trans girls, and suddenly most of my friends were trans girls. I burned at injustices done to them, I bought hormones for friends, donated to trans street medic projects, helped newly-cracked eggs get in touch with DIY medding sources, y'know, normal cis ally stuff.

Recently, I realized that I loved trans women. I fucking love them so much. I fucking love all of the varied and fractious transfemme communities that have allowed me to be a part of them, as nothing more than a cis guy who draws a lot of porn. I'm not going to say anything about Blahaj and Bridget and pink coding socks because I know the girl who fucking hates that silly terminally-online stereotype and I know the girl who *is* that silly terminally online stereotype and I love them both and love so many trans girls in all their aspects between and beyond those boundaries. I have never found myself so close to any group of people, so filled with admiration and wonder and love and lust for them, so overjoyed by their trust and friendship and confidence in me, so blessed to call myself a friend and contemporary, as I have of the trans women in my life.

I had accepted some time ago, with no pain and more than a little pride, that I would admire them but be apart from them, that my place would be as a welcome guest, that I would be among them but not one of them, and--

A crack has opened within me to let the light seep in.

I'm one of them. I really am one of them, they're mine and I am theirs and I never want to let this go, this revelation is a gift that I'm barely beginning to comprehend and I can't bear the thought that I might let it pass me by and slouch back into darkness.

So, I would bring a change upon myself, in a way that was small but could not be un-changed, a vow that could not be forgotten, only consciously recanted.

I cut out a lot of the idea before I brought it up, mostly out of time and expedience. I thought of a prayer to Inanna, but that felt like a clumsy thing to rush, and I decided I'd make a shrine to her only once I had the wisdom to pay Her proper respects. I liked the idea of getting caned or whipped in a purifying way first, but that felt too much like regular kink, just inspiration for another drawing. The idea of doing the ritual under psychedelics intrigued me but, well, I've never done anything but amphetamines and poppers before, and I didn't want to dull the experience of either the ritual or the drugs by combining the two under my own inexperience - though, I did include poppers.

Alice, Emily and Lily - not their real names but you get the picture - were very good about it. They told me it was a cute idea, and we met up at Emily's ground-floor studio flat on Sunday night. We'd have been playing board games anyway, and they even seemed a little excited by the idea, even if they weren't buzzing from anticipation like me.

I'd only worn the clothes once since I'd bought them - black tights, a knee-length straight skirt, a black blouse - but my heart didn't pound like that the first time I put them on. I shaved my face upwards and against the grain, my skin still annoyingly stubble-grey, but that would show much less in the candlelight.

When I stepped out of Emily's bathroom the girls had already set things up, candles and all. They were sitting on chairs in a semi-circle, backlit by flickering orange candlelight. As I approached they got stage giggles; I did too, it felt infectious.

Once the giggles had cleared, Alice, in the middle, asked me to state my name and purpose.

'My name is Sophie, and I am here to recieve communion.'

'Very well,' said Alice, and pointed to a spot between their chairs marked in white tape. I knelt there, a bowl of water to one side and a small bag at the other.

I turned to Lily, bowed my head, and asked her if I could wash her feet. She nodded, and I took the bowl and wash cloth and gently cleaned her feet with warm water. Once they were clean and free of sweat and sock lint, I bent down to dry them with my hair. She nodded her approval, and I asked Emily if I could do the same for her. Likewise I cleaned her feet and likewise dried them with my hair. Alice did not get her feet out, for me nor anyone, and instead allowed me to lick her shiny black boots, which only had the faintest hint of grit to them.

Once I had performed the ablutions, the girls daubed me. Alice held my jaw firm in one hand as she applied mascara to each of my lashes with the other, Emily let me rest my chin on her fingertip as she painted my lips a vibrant red, and Lily stroked my hair as she marked my cheeks with blush. They cooed and called me pretty, and Lily's blush felt superfluous.

I presented each of them with a gift: An Adventure Time tarot deck for Lily, a sharpening stone for Emily, a guide to mushrooms for Alice. They accepted the gifts, and gave me gifts in return: a simple black choker from Lily, a bottle of amyl nitrite from Emily, a stack of trans zines from Alice. My voice cracked a little as I thanked them, and cracked a little more after they watched me take a few long, heady hits from the poppers bottle.

Alice asked me if I was ready to recieve communion; I begged her, please, yes.

She took a blister pack of 2mg estradiol and popped out a single blue pill. I knelt and looked up at her, eyes open, heart thumping, mouth wide.

She placed the tiny pill on my tongue and said, 'Sophie, this bread is your flesh, which is given to you.'

Then, she stood up, unzipped her jeans, pulled her limp cock out of her underwear and pushed it between my lips, which I wrapped tight around it.

'Sophie, this wine is your blood, drink this in rememberance of yourself.'

It took her a moment to start pissing, and her urine immediately washed the pill down my throat. It tasted fucking disgusting, almost as salty as seawater with that weird, almost chemical aftertaste. It turned my stomach, and I felt euphoric as I sucked it down.

After that they praised me and called me a girl and a faggot and a whore, and I kept sucking Alice's cock until Emily wanted a blowjob too, and from there it turned into regular lesbian sex, Lily's chastity cage clinking fruitlessly against mine as Emily went around biting us both and Alice had me lick her armpit clean of sweat, fingering and kissing and pinching until we all got tired enough to start watching movies in Emily's bed.

I got up and fetched drinks and sandwiches for everyone and something happened between aftercare, the aftermath of a religious service, and an after-action report. They all kept calling me a pretty girl, which I *really* liked, and Alice asked me how the whole thing had turned out, if I felt anything had changed, and I had to eat two salami and cucumber sandwiches before I could figure out my answer.

Something had changed, but the change had happened months ago, and it had taken communion for me to see it. It didn't clear up my questions or reveal hidden knowledge, I don't know if I'm a she/her boy or a he/him girl, I don't know if I'm actually a woman or just not at all a man, I don't know if this is a thing I've become or if I've been this all along and it's taken this long to discover it. I don't even know if I've really settled on Sophie.

All I got from communion, from this sacred connection of love and knowledge from other trans girls to me, was surety in the things I already kinda knew:

I'm transgender as fuck and I'm a big fucking dyke.

#stories

[bonnefeta]

I recently saw a tiktok talking about which of the Fallout protagonists people most prefer, in light of the fact the Fallout show is coming out soon ish.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the most popular answer was the courier, which makes sense because New Vegas is a masterpiece, but also a lot of people talked about liking their backstory being less scripted.

Like compared to the lone wanderer or the sole survivor there isn’t like a cut scened backstory about your family or anything, the courier just pops up with a blank slate you can imagine however you want.

I totally get that, don’t get me wrong I love New Vegas, but having thought about it I do find the journey of the sole survivor and the lone wanderer effected me a lot more.

Especially the lone wanderer who I reckon is probably my favourite.

The characters I remember from New Vegas often have very little to do with my character. Like I remember the NPCs I met but the courier is basically just my eyes and ears, a much more blank slate.

With Fallout 3 I remember feeling gut punched by a lot of those moments, leaving the vault for the first time, finding your father and then loosing him, they really hit emotionally because I’m invested in the story of my player character.

But the main one I want to focus on is one of the moments I’ve found most impactful across all the games I’ve played,

Leaving the vault for the 2nd time.

Now not everyone might have done this quest, I’m pretty sure I missed it on my first playthrough, but if you haven’t ever done it you absolutely need too.

After your father dies if you return to Megaton you can pick up a distress frequency from the Vault where you hear Amata (your old bff and one of my favourite minor characters) asking for your help specifically. Something has gone wrong back home and you need to came back to fix it.

So you toddle off back home, and either help (or hinder) the vault get through a mini civil war. For the purposes of this post we’ll go with help.

So you save the vault, Amata is now in charge and everyone is safe and sound again, thanks to you. You’ve managed to save your home.

But you can’t stay.

Amata breaks the news to you that even after everything you’ve done there’s too much bad blood for you to stay. People blame you for the chaos, the change it’s brought. Amata can lead them into a better future but you can’t be at her side while it happens.

So you leave.

You walk out the vault door again, and as it closes behind you and you head back out into the wasteland you’re alone again.

The first time I played it (and honestly every time since) I was hit with such a strange grief. Like a hollow sad feeling I wasn’t expecting. Loosing your father is sad but this felt more impactful to me for some reason.

Maybe it’s the one-two punch of it, like lose your father and lose your home. But I for me it’s always reminds of the quote “you can never go home again” by Thomas Wolfe.

I don’t know exactly why this concept has always stuck with me, like it’s just stuck in my brain and it never really leaves. Maybe it’s from moving inter-state when I was a kid, and a few times since. But that idea of wishing to go back to a place where things were better, where you were happier, only to go there and realise it’s not how you remembered, and that you don’t belong any more, I guess it hits home.

You’ve been cast out into the wasteland, gone from your relatively comfortable and happy home into a world of violence and chaos and horror, only to lose your father. You fail, your defeated by the enclave, you’re starting again after a devastating setback, and when you’re at your lowest you get just a crumb of hope.

You get to go home, back to that place, but it’s not the same. Even when you ‘fix it’, you end the violence, there’s still no place for you there.

You just don’t fit any more.

And so you leave, you’re alone again. There’s no going back to when things were better, and the road ahead is more than hard, it’s probably impossible and even if you do succeed life will still probably never be easy.

But the vault door is sealed behind you, there’s no where to go but forward.

I know this is reading so deeply into a very minor side quest from a game from 15 years ago, but I honestly think it’s some of Bethesda’s best storytelling and kind of criminally overlooked in all the new Fallout talk.

#fallout #fallout 3 #the lone wanderer #fallout show #my brain cannot ever put this quest down #like a rabid dog with a bone #I’m also unbelievably excited about the show #Ella Purnell is a gift to humanity and I’m so excited to see her in it

[sirianasims]

Cecilia moved in. As a freelance writer, she could work from anywhere, and she loved being closer to nature than she had been in Newcrest. After all, she grew up on her father’s and grandfather’s farm in Henford-on-Bagley. But when her parents got divorced, her mother had moved back to Newcrest with Cecilia and her brother.

I felt happier than I had been for a decade. I couldn’t remember having ever laughed so often or so loudly. I almost felt like when we were teenagers, except this was better.

This time, I truly appreciated just how lucky I was. It was a privilege being with the love of my life, and this time I would do things right.

Everything got even better whenever Freya was there. I loved the feeling of being a proper little family. Freya and Cecilia would joke around like old friends, and it made me happy to see them get along so well.

Freya also stuck to her promise and taught Cecilia to play basketball. Or rather, she tried teaching her. Cecilia was definitely more of a dreamer than an athlete, but she just laughed at her own clumsiness and admired Freya’s skills.

I was so proud of my daughter. I still hadn’t discussed the baby issue with Cecilia, and I really wanted to. But it was still a bit soon for that, we had barely been dating for six months and only just started living together full time. Maybe if everything kept going this well…

That is not to say that everything was perfect bliss – we obviously disagreed sometimes. I still had a tendency to get defensive when I felt criticised, but Cecilia was patient with me, and we always calmly reached some sort of compromise.

Except once.

I don’t even remember what the discussion was about. I just remember that for the first time in our relationship, I lost control and raised my voice, angrily yelling at her about something.

Katherine would have immediately matched my anger and things would have escalated into a full-blown screaming match. Cecilia did not.

All I saw in her eyes was fear.

The love of my life was afraid of me.

It felt like a punch to the stomach.

“Shit. Cecilia, I’m sorry…”

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die on the spot.

Cecilia put her arms around me. My entire body was tense and I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. I felt terrible.

“Eric? Eric, darling, look at me. I’m fine, everything’s fine. Please…”

She was not at all fine, I could hear her voice breaking.

Why was she comforting me? I was the one who did something wrong, I should be the one to comfort her. I held her tight, telling her how sorry I was for yelling, and she started sobbing.

When she’d calmed down, I finally got the full story.

I only knew that her most recent ex had been a bit of a jerk, and that she hadn’t dated for about two years after him. Not until my father had suggested she pay me a visit.

"Jerk" didn’t begin to cover it. The guy had been outright abusive, picking fights just to have an excuse to scream at her. But she was afraid of leaving him, because he was so possessive and jealous. It wasn’t until he finally hit her that she realised that she had to get away.

My heart broke for her. How could anyone treat my sweet, gentle Cecilia like that? She was the kindest person I knew.

But then I realised that I had just been yelling at her myself. The pit in my stomach returned.

I knew then and there that I would never raise my voice at her again. Or anyone else, for that matter. The memory of the fear in her eyes, the fear of me, made my blood run cold.

I realised that I still had a lot to work on. I wanted nothing more than to feel worthy of her love.

Apart from that incident, our relationship was close to perfect.

I was still a little ashamed of my philandering past, but Cecilia insisted that she didn’t care whether I’d bedded a thousand women before her.

What we had was something else.

Still, I wanted to make it up to her, so I did my best to put all my experience to good use.

While my motives may have been questionable in the past, I had never been a selfish lover. Deep down, I had known that I was using all those women to escape my own problems, so I had always made sure to make the experience as enjoyable for them as possible.

With Cecilia, I rediscovered the joy of pleasing someone just to see them happy.

She joked that I spoiled her.

I just wanted to hear her scream my name.

There was no doubt in my mind that Cecilia was the one. By the end of autumn, I had already bought the ring and always carried it with me. A dainty, pale blue thing, the stones set like a butterfly.

Cecilia loved butterflies.

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen3 #eric duchelli #cecilia bell #freya duchelli

[voidscreamintheories]

HtP theory D: Who is he really? 1 of 2

As always, spoilers for Hunter the Parenting, If the Emperor Had a Text-to-speech, and Warhammer 40k This part 1 of a series of theories around D’s identity, also I have to split this into two posts, link at the end.

Big D, Sir D, Dee Dee, what IS in a name? Well, I suspect a big clue is in a name, actually. Big D is kinda the protagonist of the series thus far? While it is an ensemble cast Big D certainly has an air of protagonism to him, what with being almost the PoV character for a majority of audiologs, and MAYBE being the “parent” which the series title implies might be doing actual parenting (though I suspect D is probably not a first choice candidate for this task). All that said, what exactly does the D in Big D stand for? Obligatory TTS time. Big D is obviously the analogue character of the Emperor, who is sometimes called Big E by the fandom. In TTS we got a very bitter and much more ass-holish emps because he was stuck in his chair. Also, as the name implies he spoke through a text to speech. I am VERY glad Big D is ambulatory and has a proper voice because SpeakerD is another one of those voice actors that really elevates this series. If SpeakerD ever reads this, thanks for your work on this series, also your Vect was excellent and made me somehow like an evil elf, well done. That’s all well and good, but doesn’t explain what the D means. Well, if E stood for emperor, and this is hunter the PARENTING, maybe he is Big Dad. Would fit, but my post is nowhere near long enough, so let’s explore another theory, by first examining the emperor. So Big E was an almost god-like being in TTS(and actual Warhammer), he had cool magic psyker powers, he created the primarchs, the custodes, the space marines. He conquered most of space before getting hyucked into his nice chair by a not-so-nice son of his. But his god-like powers weren’t just a product of luck, or because he was so handsome and cool. The Emperor was created by the efforts of a group of magic people, the shaman, performing a ritual to merge all their souls and powers into one lil fella. With all that cool magic juice imbued into his very being, the emperor grew into an (almost) immortal super human. The points I think carried over into D were his ancient origins (emps was created maybe around the time that humans discovered agriculture), the fact that he had to be created by a group of magic users, and his immense, almost divine powers.

Big D has a few notable quirks and hints towards him being not quite human. As an example, following the fight against Pyotr, Big D is RUFFED UP. He took a severe head wound, fell from a great height, and his jaw seems broken. Yet in the Guy Chapman audiolog, which happens that very same morning, he seems to instantly snap his jaw back into place and seems nigh unhurt. I don’t think this is just “RPG characters had time to rest so can restore injuries” because Markus is still, to the current episode (at time of writing) unable to walk due to his injuries. I think Big D has some unnatural healing abilities.

Big D knows a great many things, many of them things he probably shouldn’t know. For example, he knew the clan origin of the Tremere, something the Tremere do NOT talk openly about, if they even know about it at all, and that’s a big if. Honestly his whole conversation with Kitten regarding creatures of the World of Darkness really points towards D having WAY too much knowledge/experience for just being a normal human hunter. Also, he mentions possessing some really ancient items (called out when Boy SHOT THEM). As well he seeks to play the royal game of Ur, which if my knowledge of boardgames serves, is an ancient boardgame which we only pretty recently made a decent guess about what the rules even were (I don’t believe it is THE oldest boardgame, I think Quinns from SU&SD mentioned mancala(???) being the oldest game we know of but I really don’t remember). The point here is that I believe Big D is MUCH older than he looks. During his conversation with Kevin D mentions “deliriously obliterating fools like you since the 90s”, Kevin quips that D was referring to the 1890s, to which D smiles coyly. I think D actually meant the 90s, as in like 90BC. If he actually meant the 1990s, then he has had at most 16 years of knowledge collection (Markus mentions TF2 coming out ‘next year’, which would put us at 2006), and that is FAR too little time to have collected the knowledge and lore that he speaks on. Also Markus is another point towards “no way did Big D only start hunting in the 90s” because Markus mentions growing up learning about the supernatural and he is in his 30s. Ain’t no way Big D just started getting into the hobby of killing vamps when the kids were teens. All this to say, I believe D is VERY old, and this explains how he has gathered much of his knowledge. Continued in second post!

#fan theory #h:tp #htp #hunter the parenting #hunter: the parenting #htp big d

[leqclerc]

honestly carlos also isn’t that impressive when you look at the calibre of drivers ferrari have hired in let’s say the past 2 decades… seb, alonso, kimi, micheal, barrichello are all either world champions or (for barrichello) finished at least 2nd in the wdc (and here we can include charles also!) so if we’re just looking at wdc positions carlos is the weakest ferrari driver in 20 years. it’s ferrari… the standards are different

anyw this is a bit divisive so i understand if udw to reply!

Hello 👋🏻😊

No worries! I see what you're saying. I think the thing with Ferrari is though... I mean, obviously they will always be a legendary marque with plenty of historical successes, and as much as one can pretend that doesn't move them, you can't deny the appeal of wanting to be part of that, wanting to experience a slice of that and be immortalized in the history books yourself. I also think there's a bit of a "I can fix her" aspect at play here, this tantalizing idea that you can be the one to restore Ferrari to end the title drought and bring the trophy back to Maranello, to do the one thing so many others failed to do.

Which kind of brings me to my next point which is that... legendary status aside, I think their stock has kind of fallen in the last few years. Particularly in that 2020-21 period where they came crashing down and then had to rebuild and they already knew they wouldn't be anywhere close to being championship contenders.

I mean every year we see the stats and the "it's been X years since Ferrari's last championship" stuff going around. The 2010s and early 2020s just haven't been a great time for the team. They've had some highs but generally they're probably remembered for the lows (unfortunately.) They've had two (three, if you count 2022) failed title bids that fizzled out before the end of the season. There's been a lot of staff turnover (including TPs), lots of chaos behind the scenes with people trying to do things their way in hopes of breaking the cycle (Binotto.) It's like it's always close but no cigar, if that makes sense.

So at the time they were looking for a replacement for Seb, let's say early 2020 (unbeknownst to us at the time, because the narrative was that they intended to stick with him and then Covid complicated things...) I think they 1. just were not an attractive option for drivers of a similar caliber/world champions. Max wasn't going to move after getting stuck in at Red Bull and Mercedes were having their heyday so Lewis wasn't about to walk either. The only other WDC on the grid at the time was Kimi iirc, whom they had just recently let go to bring in Charles. And 2. I think they were trying to sort of shake things up and almost forge a new identity. They took a chance on Charles, doing something they traditionally wouldn't have resorted to, bringing in a wet behind the ears driver in just his second year of F1. Of course he was their academy driver, he did sim work for them, test-drove their cars and was generally familiar with the people and the environment and factory and everything so it's not like they plucked him out of nowhere, but still, it was unlike them, and many pointed out that they were flipping the script with this move.

Again hearkening back to a point I made previously, on paper Carlos seems like a pretty solid driver and more or less along the lines of what they needed at that time. He generally had a good time at McLaren, he was beating Lando (a rookie but still) and was being praised for his professionalism and team player attitude (little did we know.)

I think the only other name that was mentioned as having credible talks with them at the time was Daniel, who maybe would've been more in line with what we came to expect from their signings (so a driver with more experience and actual race wins under his belt. Not WDC though.)

There was also very much this perception that they were going to go all in and build the team around Charles as their no. 1, so they didn't really need a senior driver he could learn from anymore (they already had that in Seb) but rather someone to back him up. (Obviously things uh. Didn't quite pan out that way but.)

I remember there was a stat going around about how Charles and Carlos were Ferrari's youngest driver pairing since like 1968, which is kind of insane. So I think they also kind of used that to launch their new era where they kind of tried to re-brand themselves as this team that's betting on young, fresh talent.

Now they seem to be on the up again with the development direction, new TP and a surprise juggernaut lineup for 25-26 so there's this sense (and hope) that they're heading towards building something akin to the dominant, iconic team of the early 2000s.

All in all it was a decently long partnership, especially considering the state of modern F1 and the near-constant silly season and people getting short-term contracts, lots of academy drivers waiting in the wings and stuff. Carlos himself was a serial team-hopper so to speak before getting the Ferrari seat, the longest he's been with one team so far in his career I believe? Will this lineup be considered a standout Ferrari lineup some 10, 15 years down the line? Probably not, especially sandwiched in between two WDC drivers and falling in this no man's land period with no titles and few wins (as of right now, who knows what happens this season). But all in all I think Carlos's four season stint with Ferrari is pretty much an accurate reflection of where they were at that moment in time.

#replies #anonymous #discussions and predictions #that whole mountain of text just to say i agree w you 😭 #ferrari will always be one step ahead of everyone in terms of like history and their legendary status #but to attract wdcs and generational talents you have to have something interesting to offer them #which wasn't really the case when they signed carlos so hes kind of a sign of the times in that respect #long post

[skaruresonic]

In a similar vein, someone had just recently made a vid about Flynn's constant use of references, specifically in the context of Frontiers. One comment from the comment section from that vid stuck out to me: Some references sounded more like in-game hints, rather than just mere callbacks. (They feel empty. That, and it actually makes Sonic's world feels smaller than "interconnected". Sometimes the fun of lore is the mystery. )

Yeah no, not all references can be explained as in-game hints. Sonic games usually aren't that coy; most of them simply have NPCs, Omochao, or hint rings flat-out give you hints.

Frontiers doesn't have goal rings or signposts, for instance, and yet:

Frontiers: the Sonic game that gives you hints on how to play other Sonic games! :P

also this is extremely nitpicky but I can't quite buy Sonic using the word "varies"; maybe he'd say something like "It depends." or "Depends!" instead

That, and it actually makes Sonic's world feels smaller than "interconnected". Sometimes the fun of lore is the mystery.

I feel the Adventure games do it better because they integrate aspects of previous games in a way that doesn't feel forced. They don't shove references in the player's face. (And inb4 anyone tries to argue most of Frontiers' references come from Sonic's missable idle animation quotes: kind of a moot point when they're woven into the narrative as well. There's no missing the above "goal ring" comment because it's part of a cutscene.)

Somehow I can't imagine Frontiers having SA2!Eggman read a newspaper article revealing that Tails was awarded the Chaos Emerald for saving Station Square without making him point giant neon arrows at it. He'd be all "ooough I can't believe that wimpy little fox boy trashed my beautiful Egg Walker," or something along those lines.

The newspaper works on multiple levels. It's appropriate for Rouge to have found it since, you know, she's a spy. It makes sense as a natural extension of Tails' Emerald research in SA1 and makes the fake Emerald seem less of a deus ex machina. It provides a bit of continuity between SA1 and SA2 by showing us what happened after Tails saved Station Square without being like "But did you actually beat the Egg Walker? Huh? Do you Remember?(tm)" It's a nice wink to players who are in the know while also not a big deal if first-time players haven't played SA1, because the game contextualizes the events through Eggman reading the article anyway.

#asks

[wellspankedwife]

Me and my husband are just starting out in a d/s relationship and we are having a hard time figuring out that first spanking. I'm trying to be real good and submissive and all that and there are things that maybe I should have been spanked for but he isn't sure exactly what he should be doing in terms of spanking me and since I'm submissivie I can't really tell him that I should be spanked. Is that how it was for you and your husband and what was that first spanking like.

So we were into rough sex and spanking during sex before we were d/s. So I guess you mean my first punishment spanking, right?

It was kind of a slow roll for us, moving from me submitting in the bedroom to me realizing I was just submissive toward him in life. We played around with submissive days and things like that, but when the pandemic hit and we were together 24/7 we decided to try 24/7 d/s for a while.

What we did, and what I would suggest you do, is write down some rules that he will hold you accountable for. Sir and I just kind of took stock of our wants and his needs and ways I wanted to improve myself and used that to make our first set of rules. Some stuck and some didn't and we revisited them a lot and rewrote some and struck some out altogether.

Housework and budgeting were the big things he wanted me to submit to doing. He's more of a clean freak than I am, so it was important for me to learn better house cleaning techniques. Budgeting has always been my downfall, because when I'm out and I see a reason to break my budget I'm always sure in that moment that Sir will understand my ironclad reasoning. That was actually my first punishment spanking ever. I don't remember the specifics of what I bought outside the budget, but I do remember being a little shocked that he was holding me accountable for it. I remember feeling a little regret over our agreement while I was turned over his knee and I remember feeling shocked that my punishment spankings were harder and longer than the sexy spankings. But when Sir put me in the corner to Think About My Actions after I was spanked, I was able to stop my tears and a real calmness came over me. Everything just felt sort of right at that moment.

It's not ALWAYS like that. Sometimes I'm more begrudging about submitting and being punished for breaking the rules. I think about four weeks maybe went by between us writing the rules and that first spanking. I recall a lot of those four weeks were full of me feeling both scared but anxious to just get that first one over with - which is I guess how you're feeling? That first one can be difficult. Maybe start with a maintenance session to ease you and your husband into it? I don't think that would be non-submissive of you to suggest it. Remember, a d/s relationship is something you're in together.

If you want it, off the top of my head here were my rules to follow when we first began.

-Always submit to Sir sexually. (This one stayed)

-Always be safe. Wear seatbelt, mask in public, don't speed, take your meds, etc. (the mask one we only do when we're feeling under the weather anymore)

-Do not go over the weekly shopping budget - determined by Sir each week depending on those week's needs. (this one stayed)

-Keep up with chores. (This one changed - we had to write more specifics for household tasks because we discovered we each had different definitions of keeping up with chores)

-No foul language. (This one was scratched quickly, but recently brought back since the baby was born and Sir wants a curse free household)

-Maintain a cheerful demeanor. (We kept this rule too, but have made it more specific. I coudln't be cheerful 24/7. I just need to be cheerful when I'm actively submitting, meaning I can't complain about submitting.)

-No leaving the house without permission. (Eh. Since Sir has gone back to work 3-4 days per week we don't really do this one anymore, so it's been scratched. I do at least inform him in the morning if I'm planning on going anywhere, knowing he has the right to say no to my plans)

-Safe words (We obviously kept this one)

-Sir is to respect my hard limits (Kept this one too, obviously. I have a real phobia of having my neck touched so any type of choking or even collaring is an absolute Hard NO for me.)

Those are all I could think of. Anyway, Good Luck and keep me posted!

#d/s lifestyle #domestic discipline #domestic submission #d/s relationship #d/s couple #personal #d/s rules #asks

[sammywolfgirl]

Okay I’m tired but gotta get this idea out,

So in my au lobster and mocha ray are a generation or two disconnected from sugartaria falling, like their grandparents grew up there and their parents likely vaugly remember being there but those two are part of the first generation who never went there.

And obviously that changes up their character motives for my au, mainly lobster who since they don’t feel any connection to the city have no reason to be so all or nothing about it. Thus why his (temporary) recruitment by DE was motivated by misleading them about an old friendship that ended sour.

And he literally ditched team bad guy after he and caviar battled a bit and then talked things out like adults.

All this to say he has no motive to care about sugartaria in my au so that might change the character a bit.

However, a friend suggested the idea that the GRANDFATHER could more clearly have the “I’d do anything to restore the city” motive but as he’s old he’s just kinda yelling in a rocking chair.

Idk could be a neat eater egg.

Mocha ray can have something similar with her grandma having the “I’d restore the city at any cost but I wouldn’t want to throw out my morals about it if I don’t have to” thing where she’d love to see the city back but if it just won’t work out she’d maybe drop it.

Which makes it neat that my mocha ray is now more desperate to restore the city. Mostly because she believes it’ll restore her family’s purpose and duty.

Which still means they aren’t doing this for the city, more for the family.

Which can be a neat theme to play with

Plus with the wondercrab giving me a clear thematic parallel of “living for the future” vs “being stuck in the past” that’d be a really good place to more directly tackle the theme in my au.

Plus caviar and candy diver being involved in that arc (in my au) can act as interesting cases. Caviar did sort of throw away his past to live on the surface, though he never completely cut himself off from his identity as a mershark, and recently is coming to better terms with finding a balance of his past vs his present.

Meanwhile candy diver is more burdened by their past,

They died, and idk how much they’ve come to terms with that, plus the kingdom they visit is where their SON lives (gumball), and they still are too afraid to tell him who they are. The idea of a city where it’s literally a soft rule not to talk about your past would be appealing.

And that’s not mentioning electric eel who’s very much on the “your past doesn’t matter let’s look to the future” end of the spectrum, maybe to a more dangerous degree since some level of a person’s past will always follow them, you can’t discard it entirely, and some people can’t. (Like abyss monarch)

And like again I’d have to see the full event before I make any final calls, but abyss monarch is giving me the thematic vibes of “still tied to the passed but wants to cut ties to it” like they don’t seem to like the city, and despite all they’ve changed they cannot escape it, mocha ray still finds them and recognizes them. The past will continue to haunt them. And that’s not even bringing up what bs the edgy sea monster powers might be causing in the present. Maybe they wanted to try and live peacefully but their status as the ruler of sea monsters can’t make that possible. Idk! But it’d be a neat theme for this edge lord!!

Idk having the whole spectrum could be fun to play with.

If it wasn’t clear I have a lot of thoughts about this arc, for au stuff and Og potential

#it me #headcanons #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run au #lobster cookie #mocha ray cookie #captain caviar cookie #gumball diver cookie #electric eel cookie #abyss monarch cookie

[mass-convergence]

Remembering the time when I was a diehard fan for Edward Elric from FMA. I mean I still am a fan but I think this had escalated into “minor crush” because I was apparently gay except for when it came to dudes with long hair. Still kinda do have that exception. I just think long hair (and maybe a bit of scruff) on a guy is aesthetically pleasing. I think it’s the rugged outdoorsy look they’ve got going.

But that’s not remotely the point of this post.

I was a fan of Edward Elric back in high school. Talked about how cool he looked, pretty sure he was my desktop background at some point. Just generally a tick above a “normal” level of fan for it. Friend of mine kept being like “pixels, Mass, he’s pixels”. (Look this was over a decade ago, I’m over it and I’m sure they were just like repeating shit they’ve heard - I don’t think they were intentionally being malicious or a dick)

And I’m just thinking about that today. Because it’s not like the fact that they’re pixels but the fact that they’re pixels that represent something. I know Edward Elric isn’t real. More recently: I know Soma isn’t real, I know Wonder Woman isn’t real, neither is Lara Croft, Eivor, Prentiss, Moiraine, etc.

They’re all pixels or polygons or words on a page or lines in a drawing. And it’s like “your point?”

I still can’t watch that cutscene in AC Valhalla (y’all know the one) - I can barely look at the gifsets. But Eivor and Soma got me through the hell year that was 2021.

I cried when Moiraine lost her connection to the source and cried when she got it back - she showed me that I could lose everything and get knocked to rock fucking bottom and come back up swinging. I connected with Mat Cauthon because I perpetually felt like a fuck up my entire life. Seeing him succeed gave me hope.

Lara Croft and Wonder Woman both got me through most of undergrad. Just because they were kinda chill imaginary friends for me in a time where I felt desperately alone and in a dark ass place. They gave me confidence and strength.

You know what got me through most of the pandemic? Dragon Prince and a very specific YouTuber’s play though of Bannerlord. Both of those got me to start HEMA which the physical activity and socialization helped me out immensely. Led to me getting involved in medieval shit and eventually the SCA. But on a more basic level: I could pretend I was not stuck alone in an apartment in Reno a country away from my family. Was definitely on an epic quest of some sort … was just currently stuck because the snows had made the mountain passes inaccessible for like a year.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: “they’re pixels” … yeah … and? Turns out our brains are real great at pretending they’re not pixels. It can sometimes go a little far - you can sometimes define your life by them and I personally think that can be maladaptive (but I do it too). Like sometimes you see something in fiction and your brain can log it as an IRL example of something - see why transphobic bullshit in movies can be super fucking harmful.

But like characters and stories and stuff? They’re meant to appeal to our emotions, they’re meant to get us invested as if they were real, and that can help people.

They’re pixels.

So what?

#idk I am just thinking stuff my dudes #one day I hope to write shit that people can connect to on the same level I’ve connected to the stories I’ve read and watched #but yeah … they are pixels … but the connection you have with them is real #long post

[tlanwen]

lines, lines it’s all lines. but what if you cross it over into a loop. and now you’re stuck.

meta dump on sideblog, sorry, but im still not over the phone-ringing-as-psychological-torture bit in episode 6. Like its been So long since i’ve watched a show that’s been so narratively compact and well put-together.

>here we are, In laying himself bare in front of Wang telling him about the time his father confessed to him, and how following that key point in his life he decidedly put an end to their communication- he let his phone ring incessantly into the night but would not pick up (because of course, we can’t have In doing anything that might benefit himself and no one else in a situation. he has to be the martyr).

and here we are again! 20 years later- wang confessing to him (while adopting his own father’s voice in order to speak to in, to //get// to him in at his most vulnerable ((this child is a victim but a victim that loooves to play with fire. oh my god is he ever culpable in the All of it at this very moment. the double take i did when he referred to himself as siam. fuck me till next tuesday that was Hard to swallow)), in shuts down, and on cue- the phone rings. and it rings, and just like two decades ago, In just lets it ring.

such a good way to cut to one of the main points of this show- these people have been stuck in a time loop for the past 20 years and they’ve dragged wang into it as well. It is decidedly difficult (if not impossible) to move on from something you never talk about.

Mol won’t talk about siam and sees too much of him in her son (remember the talk in episode 1/2? her frustration at seeing something in wang, just beneath the surface, the same thing she never fully understood in siam??), ergo Wang can’t hear about his father, leaving him effectively parentless because let’s face it mol is more of a “friend” to wang than a parent (ooh the pent up resentment he has towards mol. i haven’t seen this in a show like. ever, maybe. the low-key & at times unexplainable outbursts of frustration with his mother that she can’t understand. this child is angry that you are only his friend. kids don’t need a friend, they need a parent.), and now that Inthawut is in the picture Wang has once again kind of taken on the role of his father in this weird off way. with neither of them, he isn’t allowed to be himself, he’s ended up being this fuzzy disfigured shadow of his dad (that he didn’t even know! none of these people truly knew the man whose absence stopped their lives dead in its tracks! mol certainly didn’t because siam hid it from her, in ran away when siam chose to show himself for who he really was, and wang didn’t even get the chance! im going insane.)

i love it i love it so much when showrunners trust their audience and their show-watching abilities. it’s like, hey, we know you’re watching a show and maybe you’re invested in these characters as if they’re real people- but here’s an element/callback to something we’ve fit underneath the surface of this piece of media; this thing that you are watching, it is a story after all- do you remember?

n it’s like yes yes i Do remember!! i See!

i dont know how to finish this off in a cohesive way but- i may have been spoiled by many recent dramas having happy and satisfying endings but it hit me when i finished ep. 6 that this one very much. might not have what one might call a happy ending. it’s still too early for me to call it. That being said, honestly all i can hope for in terms of a //happy ending// for 180d is both in and mol recognizing and wanting wang, as he is, not the idea of siam in his place. he deserves that at least, and all three of these people deserve to exit the loop they’ve been walking for far too long, even if it means some lines uncrossing

#180 degree longitude passes through us #180 degrees longitude between us #meta #also so glad to open this tag and see that most posts are Also meta writing/analysis. like im glad that most of us watching this show #are just Like That #i mean ig u kind of have to be with a show that is mostly people sitting down and Talking #please yell with me about this i am truly going out of my mind!! sunday can't come soon enough #also i dont have enough space/brainpower to fit it in this post but my god. the visual language in this show. PHEW #there's a shot in episode 5? 4? i dont remember but it's In sitting on his bed and the divider in his room #is set up in a way that shows a wooden panel dividing him Right in the middle. literally tearing him in two as he works through his emotions #like its not just me right im not the only one going crazy here? this is so good! who expected this! #mine

[feralmoonlight]

Ohhh, all of your Under the Horizon posts look soooo cool!! Your designs are EXQUISITE (as with the rest of your art which I am absolutely FUMING I haven't mentioned before because Hello I Am Shaking) and even though you said you might not have a BUNCH planned, I would love to hear any miscellaneous ideas you're keeping. IF you would like to share, of course. I love sitting in here and hearing rambles :) 🌻

You want lore??? You want story tidbits??? I have good and bad news! Bad news is, I had an idea that I no longer fully remember, but said idea was loose at best, and has been scrapped. GOOD news is, I'm rebuilding this thing from the ground up and realized the first run was basically watered down goop with no real substance aside from Mer Bois Go BRRRRR --- SO ok, where to start... UH... First up, have this horribly jotted down blurb about what the boys are that half turns into writing brain taking over near the end~

Mmmm YN is... I don't want to say depressed per say, but in recent years life has thrown a lot of bad their way with not too much good. They're kind of done with people, and the few people they were on good terms with have kind of fallen off. They're stuck, and the rut they're in doesn't really give them many ways of dragging themselves out without some kind of shoulder to lean on. The choice of throwing themself into the water when there might be something lurking out there isn't so much a way to seek an end, but more one of the few things that gives them a sense of exhilaration of actually living again. They love the ocean, and they're fascinated with the creatures they KNOW are out there. But they've only caught glimpses. There's a chance they'll be safe, kind of like swimming with sharks isn't necessarily dangerous if you don't present yourself like food. They aren't HUGE huge, they think, but they don't know how big they really are, or how many. It's risky, but the kind of risk that gets your blood pumping. Sun and Moon are, behavior wise, probably more sea lion/leopard seal grade curious/dangerous? Curious enough to approach with intent, large enough to do damage if they want to. But they're more generally territorial. First meet isn't gonna go smooth. But it's not going to be bad enough to deter YN from wanting to get closer to them again, though maybe with more controlled circumstances. The same meeting is gonna make Sun far more curious, while Moon will have his standoffish 'get the fuck out of my territory' attitude. Both know humans tend to be bad news, but this human is behaving strangely. There's no boat, no nets, no means of hunting them. It just keeps throwing itself in their area and it seems just as curious about them as sun seems to be about it. And when sun plays, it tries to play back. Weird. YN takes this as a new sort of passion. They have a day job, but after that, they start spending a LOT of time on the beach, exploring, trying to figure out where the boys actually live, cause by this point they can tell they breathe air, so they have to sleep on or at least near land somewhere (unless they pull an otter and sleep floating at the surface, or blink-sleep like whales do? gotta check on that) Meanwhile, the boys dwindling pack is getting a bit wary of how much farther humans in general are encroaching on their areas. Encounters are becoming more common. They've avoided being hunted. Avoided being seen. And when they are they run quick enough to be mistaken for something else. Humans are the reason their pack is small. They can't be trusted. Yet here the boys are, slowly befriending and becoming enamored by this human they're treating almost like a stray cat. Granted, the human is doing exactly the same thing. Now the problem here is, both sides will try to coax the other closer to their side of the reef-line. YN wants them to come to the shallows, and the boys are about ready to drag them out to sea to some little remote island off the coast so they can have their 'new friend' all to themselves, since they keep leaving for ages. Still figuring out some more stuff BUT this is what I've got for the start. Give or take a few more tidbits here and there.

[varricscrossbowbianca]

Letter from King Alistair to his romanced Warden

i wrote something for my fic a while back and just wanted to post that part here as well (under the cut because it's long)

for context: the warden (amell in this case) had disappeared after the celebrations when the archdemon was defeated and they only reappeared ten years later (at the start of inquisiiton)

‘’My dearest Mary,

to be quite honest with you, I do not know how to start this letter properly. Well, I guess I just did. I don’t want to take too much away, since I want to tell you so, so much, in person. I need to know it’s really you who came back after...ten long years. And I know I’ll say that I keep this letter short but you know me, once I start rambling I won’t be able to stop. You always listened to my ramblings anyhow, so I might just as well make it as long as I please.

I miss you. I know this simple sentence is not enough to express just how much I miss you. How much I have missed you. All I want is to see your beautiful, your extremely beautiful and wonderful face again. I know you’d punch me if I didn’t say that. And all the things I’m not saying you’d probably punch me for, too. This may sound odd and makes it sound exactly like I’ve been raised by dogs but...I miss your scent, even. You had left your purple scarf at the feast, which I have kept ever since. I tried giving it to Barkspawn, maybe he would have been able to find you but I think it just made him more sad, as it did make me, as well. You told me you had made your own perfume while we were out on the road. We didn’t have much time for bathing. Not like there’s a bathtub in the middle of the woods, anyhow. Anyway, you made this perfume which had...lemongrass and basil in it? I just remember thinking ‘’Why does it smell like lemon cakes and where can I get them?’’ And it was you. I have to admit, I used your perfume on one occasion. Alright, maybe twice. For my hair. Zevran actually asked me about it but your secret ingredients were safe with me.

I miss you at night as well.

The dreams of the darkspawn happen more frequently recently. I don’t know what it means, perhaps you have an answer to that? I miss being able to ask you to sleep next to each other when the nightmares were too much to bear alone. When it was the middle of the night and I awoke from one of those dreams. I went to you. And of course you were already awake, having had the same dreams. No one could ever replace that, you know. I couldn’t. When the nightmares get bad again, I imagine you lying next to me, hugging me and telling me it will be alright. I don’t know if that’s-- if that’s odd and you think of me as some creep who imagines his girlfriend best friend when she’s...when she was—well.

I don’t know what force has brought you back but I am very much glad that you are. I don’t know why you haven’t written me first, why Leliana gave me the news, but to be fair, she was always like this, wasn’t she. She knows everything, and I mean everything, probably even what I’ve had for breakfast when I barely remember. Was it cheese? Who am I kidding, it was obviously cheese.

I am also sure she secretly read this letter, she just needs to stuck her nose into everything hah. So, uh, hi Leliana, please don’t kill me for writing this.

You know, I actually had dreams about you. Made me think I knew where you were and if I just concentrated enough, I could find out where you were hiding. I never did. You never answered me in those dreams, either. It was very strange and different from the time we were stuck in the Fade at the Circle. The dreams I have had of you felt somewhat real. Were you by any chance searching for something? You looked like you did. You also had a jester’s hat on and were playing lute. Alright, that part was a lie. Honestly, you looked tired most of the time. I was trying to reach out to you but no matter how loud I screamed, you couldn’t hear me. I know you wouldn’t purposely ignore me, you wouldn't.

Were you searching for me?

It was probably my imagination that got the better of me.

Why did you leave?

You will tell me when you get here, which surely will be soon. There are some things that I have said. You have no idea how much I wished I could go back to that day and…

I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to—I want-- I will tell you when you are here.

You deserve that much. You deserve. Mary, you deserve so much more than that.

I- oh wow, I seem to be as bad as ending letters as I am at beginning them.

I can’t wait to see you again. I mean it. I can not wait. It has been ten very, very long years.

Just come back to me. I will hug you for all the times you’ve been gone. Which would result in us hugging for...a long time. I wouldn’t mind. I would stay that way until the end of time.

Did you...did you think of me? In those ten years. I mean, of course you must have. Not easy to forget, am I? Right? I have been wondering all that time what you had been up to, I knew you weren’t dead, you couldn’t have been. You are the strongest woman that I know. You know that, right?

So? Did you- think of me? I have thought about you. Well, that’s an understatement.

You know, you must know. I’ve always believed in you. And I always will.

Come back. Be here. With me.

In love You are always on my mind,

Alistair (you know the guy with the perfect hair and expertise for cheese)''

#dao #da:o #alistair theirin #warden amell #alistair x warden #alistair x amell #. my writing #. it's so cheesy ahahaha damn #. i only changed it slightly to what i posted on ao3 (just like one sentence or so)