#maybe it's obvious to other people but idk i didn't realise that for ages so posting in case other people need a reminder

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hii :) first of all, your comics are so relatable and wonderfully drawn, you’re such a good artist!

but i guess i’m just wondering if you could help try and answer some questions i have, it’s alright if not though of course :]

i’m like 99% sure i have autism, i relate a crap ton to people with autism and just experiences commonly had by autistic people

but what i’m wondering about is 1, i don’t think i’ve shown or felt any signs of it up until i turned around 12 maybe, and i’m thirteen now

the only thing i can think of is most definitely having special interests, like i cannot be interested in something casually and it’s been that way my whole life

but now, the past year, i’ve been having so many signs of it, i’ve had meltdowns and go nonverbal when i’m stressed and have been stimming and stuff (i’m tired so my descriptions aren’t going to be good sorry lmao)

and the second thing is that i can understand sarcasm and things pretty perfectly, of course there’s the occasional misunderstanding but i don’t think i’ve ever really taken things too literally, if anything the opposite because i’m very sarcastic and figurative myself i feel

of course it’s a spectrum but pretty much everything i’ve heard about autism is that almost everyone has some level of difficulty with taking things literally and sarcasm

idk man i got <5 hours of sleep last night

sincerely,

sleep deprived confused child

Hi sleep deprived confused child! 😁 Don't worry I understand!

I also didn't think I showed autistic traits as a child at first, until I started talking to my mum about how I used to act, reading old reports, and viewing my memories through an autistic lens. A lot of the stuff I thought was 'normal' turned out not to be. For example, I thought everyone found crowds terrifying and music at events painfully loud, and I didn't realise tapping my fingers constantly could be a stim, and although I thought I was sarcastic (turns out saying things plainly/bluntly can come across as sarcasm) I didn't always get it when other people were.

Also, your traits can get more obvious as you get older and have to deal with more complicated problems. At age 12 there's the weird transition from child to teenager, maybe changing schools, or more complicated homework, or more responsibilities at home, different types of relationships etc, which can all add stress and force you to find ways to cope you might not have needed before.

THAT SAID, there's a lot of overlap between autistic traits and other things like ADHD (eg you might have hyperfixations rather than special interests - they're similar but change more often), or PTSD. While autism and ADHD are generally only diagnosed if you've had the traits from a very young age, things like PTSD and other mental health issues can show up later. And they can all be comorbid to make things extra complicated.

Obviously I am not in a position to diagnose you with any of these! I am definitely not qualified so please talk to a professional about any concerns or suspicions.

Sidenote: have you tried taking the RAADS-R or AQ50 tests? They're generally considered reliable and are often part of assessments, so hopefully they can help answer your questions!

I hope you have a good day and continue to be less sleep deprived :)

#also thank you I'm glad you like my art! #ask #anon ask #autism #advice #its a spectrum #sleep deprived confused child

[bretongirlwrites]

tagged by @sylvienerevarine for this tag game... i don't know who has already been tagged but i will tag @druidx and @redyn-nerevarine and anyone else who feels like it

How many works do you have on AO3?

91.. i have no idea how it got to that amount. most of them are like 500 words though. just bits. i also have 33 on fanfiction dot net but haven't posted there in years and years

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

146,927. which means i'm somehow significantly under my fanfiction dot net count (232,934!!) despite the 91 fics. damn what was i on back in 2015

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well you all know about the elder scrolls ones. have dabbled in dragon age and mass effect, but don't often publish what i write for those. my 2015 obsessions were merlin and sherlock and occasionally atlantis but they're pretty much abandoned

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

cannot really answer as i got hit a few times by the kudos bot. the formation of a courier is incontestably up there. as is where were you when the dragonborn came, but i've a feeling people accidentally end up on that one thinking the title is uhhh innuendo

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to... i don't get too many and idk what to reply other than 'thanks! :)' though

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

an ultimatum and well laid plans maybe... i can't really say that my fics have endings. since they're mostly scraps and i never finish longer fics

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

see above... i try to end things happily but since i'm writing fics from the middle it's not always obvious from what i publish

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully not. except an instance of delphine hate that wasn't very favourable to the fic either. and that one time way back when, when someone criticised a fic for being unrealistic. because the count of monte cristo is so realistic

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not. the only time i tried, it ended up extremely non-explicit anyway. and i deleted it off ao3 because it was cringe but it was getting tons of hits from people probably expecting more. i used to tag my fanfiction dot net ones with 'this will not contain smut or anything like that' because i didn't realise that smut was what people were mainly looking for

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've written?

i began a merlin/sherlock crossover that got quite popular but which i never finished... the crazy thing ended up being not so much the crossover but the existence of a magical teleporting conservative mp

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i damn well hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i used to translate my own fics into french... i no longer have the translations but knowing how bad i was at french in 2015, i doubt they were readable. maybe i ought to try again... since nobody else appears to be doing so hehe

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no although i have written crack fics with my sibling that would never make any sense to anyone including us

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm not really in this for the shipping... my oc victoria hatteras and her platonic soulmate harbert brown will always be my otp but i do not publish anything about them. am however fond of julienne and marcurio (all the book smarts and none of the street smarts), and lunette and ilmeni (which despite lunette's cavalier attitude to romance, i am determined will be perfect)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

occasionally i still get requests to continue the aforementioned merlin-sherlock crossover. but that's probably not happening. really the answer is 'literally any of them' since i don't remember the last time i finished a multi-chapter fic

16. What are your writing strengths?

uhhh uniqueness. chaos punctuation. sounding like i died two hundred years ago

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

anything actually happening that involves like movement and stuff

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i've not thus far felt like i needed to, at least for tes. if a fic called for french or german, then i'd try. if it called for anything else, i wouldn't trust myself or google translate enough. idk how readers would feel about that... i already invent words from french sometimes

19. First fandom you wrote for?

in terms of published works, it seems to be doctor who. in terms of generally... hell probably still doctor who, i was obsessive when i was younger

20. Favourite fic you've written?

all and none of them. the aforementioned formation of a courier... and the imperial city irregulars, that was a good one. i seem to be more consistent and less cringe where comedy is concerned than more serious fics

#tag game

[kuschelkissen]

And more polyshipweek stuff. Prompts by @polyshipweek

This one is kinda sad-ish, idk. Also has some non-canon characters involved

GROWING OLD

"How is he?"

Yui raised her head as she closed the door behind her, smiling weakly at the younger woman. "He's sleeping now. Don't worry, Takako."

"But I do worry." Slowly she got closer, finally embracing her. "Seeing him break down like this... and then finding out it happened before! Mum, why didn't you tell me! Why didn't anyone of you tell me??"

"We didn't want to worry you. The doctor said it's just some slight form of fatigue, and that it just happens sometimes when people get older."

"He's not that old yet!"

With a sigh, Yui held her daughter tightly. "He's not that young anymore either, Takako."

Takako burried her head in Yui's shoulder. "I don't like it. I want Kosuke and Yuji to have a lot more time with their grandpa!"

"And what makes you think they won't?" could be heard from the door, as Kansuke in his wheelchair was pushed inside the living room by a young man. "Just 'cause Koumei is a bit weak on his legs these days doesn't mean he's gonna die tomorrow, ya know?" He grinned, patting his left leg with his hand. "I've been weak on my legs for decades now and look at me, I'm burstin' with life!"

Takako rubbed her face, then smiled slightly. "You're built differently, Dad" she said as she came closer, kissing the young man behind the wheelchair on the cheek. "Are they sleeping now?"

"Yes, honey. Though it took your dad telling them about all the stuff your father survived without a scratch to calm them down." He scratched his cheek. "Not sure if they were impressed or more scared there for a moment."

"See?!" Kansuke said, grabbing the wheels and pushing himself towards Yui now. "He'll be fine, just like always."

Yui bent down to kiss him. "Yes, he will."

~

Later that evening, when Takako and her little family had fallen asleep in the guestrooms upstairs, Yui had quietly pushed Kansuke's wheelchair into the bedroom, to not wake Taka'aki. In the dim light that fell inside from the lights outside the window, he still looked terribly pale, paler than usual, and the grey hair almost seemed white. "He's gonna be okay, right?" she whispered as she helped Kansuke out of his chair.

"Of course he will" Kansuke mumbled back, leaning onto her. "There's no way he's gonna go before me."

It made her smile, but also realise how vastly different these two had always been. Kansuke had been handicapped for almost 40 years now and he had always dealt with it pretty well. Even when he had had to resort to using the wheelchair five years ago, he had just taken it as is. Sure, he hadn't been happy about it, but he hadn't fallen into despair over it.

His beard had been patchy with grey areas for a while now, same with his hair, making him look older when he had not even been in his fifties yet, but he had just taken it with humour. "Listen to your elders!" he had loved to proclaim at work, making the newbies doublecheck on his actual age more than once.

Taka'aki on the other hand had kept his deep black hair even when Yui was already trying to hide her grey streaks with dye. So when it had finally turned grey, it went incredibly quickly and it had done something to him.

It wasn't that he feared or hated turning old. But it was the realisation that he had by now outlived all of his family, that pulled him down. The thought that his little brother, not even his parents were allowed to grow old, to get grey and wrinkly, had taken some of the joy from his eyes.

It wasn't like he had lost his will to live, he was still able to smile and enjoy life. Especially when their daughter came for visits with the twins and the house got all noisy and lively. Their little family had always filled him with so much joy. Maybe because he had lost his own so early in life.

But it was obvious that aging didn't go as smoothly for him as it did for Kansuke.

Yui helped Kansue to sit on the bed. "I just feel like he's tired lately" she said lowly while changing into her pyjamas. "Not sleepy, just... tired."

"He turned 70 last month, of course he's tired." Kansuke smiled crooked. "Even I didn't like how that number looked on my birthday cake earlier this year. At this age it's more apparent than ever that we're just old men next to our young and energetic wife."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. That never stopped either of you~"

"You know", a low voice came from the other side of the bed, "my eyesight is getting worse each day, but unfortunately I can still hear you just fine."

"Taka'aki, you're awake!"

"Unfortunately, I am." With a groan Taka'aki sat up, rubbing his face. "Is it night already...? How long was I out?"

"Careful" Kansuke said, reaching out for him, only to lower his hand again, when Taka'aki didn't sway. "About four hours."

"I must have scared the children."

"You scared everyone" Yui said, huffing her cheeks a bit. "I'm just glad Minoru-kun was there to catch you!"

"Ah, apologies. I did not mean to scare anyone."

"Good. Then stop doing it!" Yui sat on the bed now, too, looking at him with pleading eyes. "No more fainting, okay?"

Taka'aki smiled tiredly at her. "I will try my best."

"Good" Kansuke said and lay down. "Now, everyone shut up and sleep. Playing entertainer for these little rascals is exhausting and we have another day of that coming."

Yui rolled her eyes affectionately, then snuggled up against him, reaching out over him for Taka'aki, who finally lay down on the other side of Kansuke with a sigh. "Good night, my beloved old men~"

"Sleep tight, young lady."

"Oh shut up, both of you."

#dcmk #nagano trio #morofushi takaaki #yamato kansuke #uehara yui #idk this turned kinda sad #it's also a bit all over the place #but eh #I still kinda like it #polyshipweek22

[faithfromanewperspective]

so I was thinking about the ending to the last hours like many of us and I guess reading between the lines a little at how traumatic the london possession would've been, at how much james and cordelia need therapy and the way gracelet fiasco played into both their insecurities especially in their relationship, at how charlotte must've realised how much she didn't know and wasn't there for about both her sons, how when the shock of battle wore off for all of them there's going to be a lot of grief that will be very difficult and also new for all of them, how matthew is actually feeling things for the first time and in some ways so is james, and the way that in the 6 months between the coda and epilogue so much recovery must've gone on to get them to the place they can kind of go on with their lives, and also in some ways the 4 months between cog and coi, magnus being around also, would've helped prep them for this. some things stood out to me:

I've said it before but I don't think Christopher's unfinished business with Grace is realistically neatly wrapped up with him saying to believe in herself that one day in the lab--yes it allowed fire messages to succeed but one friend who was only in your life for a short amount of time doesn't undo the psychological impacts of a lifetime of abuse. I find the canon world of ghosts/afterlife so interesting as well and I can totally imagine Kit just being really curious to understand Tatiana with the way his mind works, then coming back 'a little bit' again and again to see Grace. He'd be having a great time learning things without the constraints of a human body and idk I want to write this so badly. We know his passion in life is helping others and I think he'd be thoughtful enough to give his friends some closure as well as meddling a bit to integrate Grace, check on Matthew and his siblings, etc. and I don't think this is outside the universe bounds as though Lucie couldn't reach him at first, ghosts take some time to rise whether they stay around or not (jessamine being a great example).

And another thing that really intrigues/concerns me is the possibility of Matthew living with rapid-cycling bipolar in an age and situation where the mental health services we have now are nonexistent and inaccessible. And we have in gotsm the way Jem and Tessa talk about him and remember the pain he went though when they talk with Mother Hawthorn in Buenos Aries--I think that just cements to me the obvious that his struggles don't just completely go away with being sober. But we know that he's brave and resourceful and has incredible people around him. I want to see how he does it, and what might be realistic there. We also have Tessa saying 'Fairchilds were always practical' after the bridge and yet Matthew is constantly described being 'ridiculous' and 'frivolous' with Tessa in The Midnight Heir saying James keeps him out of trouble. I think he's going to grow up and embrace his wild side (as we see him doing when he heads off on his travel year) but do so in a really practical way, because he needs wonder to regulate him: both to give inspiration and purpose to his energy and to ground him a little when he feels worthless. It's a lot for an 18-year-old to figure out but I think for many of us, he's a character that gives us hope and we see ourselves in him. We want and need and hope for him to succeed. Again, I would be honoured to write this, feed it off my experience and vice versa.

all I'm saying is do I feel a fic coming on? Maybe. I hope so. I think it could be a really healing thing to write as these characters I relate so much to have so much untapped potential that was possibly too heavy for a YA context but it sure was hinted at. so stay tuned, and feel free to nag me if you want to know if my head's still here in the future. time-pressed for my thesis rn but I've never been able to focus on what I'm supposed to, so anything is possible!

#chain of thorns #chain of gold #chain of iron #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #christopher lightwood #matthew fairchild #tatiana blackthorn #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #grace blackthorn #charlotte fairchild

[flutterbyfairy]

i think sometimes it's so so so important to remember that you deserve love and you can give that love to yourself. that you don't need anyone else to give you permission to do something kind for yourself.

when you feel like everyone hates you and it all hurts, you can get yourself a snack and watch a show you love or draw or dance or read or sleep or listen to music or whatever it is that helps you feel relaxed and happy and you can enjoy it all by yourself. you can be gentle and let yourself feel whatever you feel.

treating yourself with kindness and doing something that makes you happy can be so revolutionary when you feel alone and distressed. we all need someone to look after us but sometimes that person can be ourself.

#🫧 #💐 #🧸 #realising that i can just. do things to give myself nice time when i'm by myself was. kinda amazing. #like i can put on songs i like and make myself comfy and write or colour whatever #maybe it's obvious to other people but idk i didn't realise that for ages so posting in case other people need a reminder #positivity #positive reminders #self love #recovery #positive suggestions #trauma recovery

[rgbfall]

Realised I haven't put my lgbt ninjago headcanons on my tumblr so! Here they are!

Kai

Bi with no preference

I also like aro Kai hcs but idk how to fit that into my hcs? Maybe he's aspec? Maybe he's just a really flirty aro? Not sure

Trans demiboy! Uses he/she/they but also doesn't care so doesn't tell people that unless they ask

Cole

He's tulipian! Omni gay and aspec!

Not sure where he is on the a-spectrum, maybe demi?, but he's romance and sex favorable

Also a bear gay. That's pretty obvious tbh

Just a cis/binary guy. He/him

Either Lou is gay and so Cole knew early on or Lou is homophobic and so for ages Cole didn't know what lgbtqa+ was beyond gay and lesbian so. Thought he was straight for ages until the other ninja came out too

Jay

Pan! He just has those vibes

Polyamarous as well bc I like polyninja too much (ofc all of them are polyam-spec but Jay uses it as like. A proper descriptor where the others don't)

Twink

Trans of gender because Look At Him. He/him but doesn't mind they/them.

I haven't thought of any specific ones, but he strikes me as someone who'd use neos. So. He's trying those out I guess

Zane

Loveless aroace. A lot of aro pride. Will still date though because I'm Like That too

Nonbinary. Have you seen him. Genderfluid and very gnc. Can and will wear heels because they're a queen

Sapphoboy and achilleagirl (WLW/MLM). Not sure if it's a gaybian/uses lesbian and turian/gay? Maybe just pan/ply though

He/she/they/it. Pronoun preference fluctuates, but she's pretty much only with anything anytime

Nya

Bi because of course she is. Female preference

Maybe bi lesbian? She has very strong bi vibes but she also has massive lesbian energy. So maybe both

Jaya was just MLM/WLW solidarity there is no romance there

Also aro(spec?)

Trans of gender obv

She/her

Lloyd

Gay n aroace.

Trans nonbinary (FTNB) gets very dysphoric w/ fem stuff

He/they. Also haven't decided on any neos but those too

Xenic somehow. Probably xenogenders that are like,, excited, playful, wisp-like genders

Pixal

Nonbinary ICON. Demigirl I think

Sapphic somehow? She likes Women

She/they

Bonus:

Skylor

Genderfluid lesboy. You can fight me on the lesboy thing I'm right

He/she

A very spiteful/angry queer person (i.e. literally calls himself a lesboy out of SPITE)

#i like all of the headcanons i see #so i use a lot of them #but some things you cannot sway me from #eg loveless/gaybian zane and lesboy skylor #anyway yes i projected some stuff on them #because of course i did #|| #fall speaks #ninjago #mogai