#metatron coffee

[orpiknight]

2023 is the year for asking the burning questions like "What if David Tennant came back to play a queer, nonbinary, nearly-immortal, otherworldly being that loves Earth and whose greatest adversary list somehow includes a cup of coffee?"

#David Tennant #good omens #doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #14th doctor #okv #Twice in one year. #“bouncy” for both too. #“possible flight risk to the stars” #“time is sometimes a choice actually” #I had a really good time with the special. :) #Edit: I don't believe in the coffee theory. But I'm happy for people to have fun with their different theories. Even if I disagree. #All I meant was a (regular) coffee was included with the Metatron.

[alivedean]

good omens crack → 8/?

#posting this and shaking my head disapprovingly so people know i don't agree with the coffee theory #good omens #goodomensedit #the metatron #aziraphale #aziraphaleedit #msheenedit #cowboycoven2 #m #gocrack

[imagopersonal]

Give me coffee or give me death

I don’t believe in the Coffee Theory per se. I think the whole ‘drugged coffee’ thing is a bit too spy movie to be in Good Omens, but- BUT

The fact that that coffee is in the intro;

The fact that you can see The Metatron in line, waiting for his turn, BEFORE he gets into the coffee shop, like if he was an out of place detail you were supposed to notice and ask yourself questions about;

The very long and apparently superfluous dialogue about choosing coffee instead of death, and how “predictable” that is;

The fact that for two seasons we NEVER see Aziraphale drinking coffee, like that’s not his thing, that’s Crowley’s thing, he’s the “six-espressos-in-a-big-cup” guy, Aziraphale drinks hot chocolate or tea, and we have to assume The Metatron knows that, because he went into that coffee shop and asked for such a specific thing that makes you think that’s something he chose specifically for Aziraphale (who still doesn’t drink coffee, so why?).

He looks reluctant at the idea of drinking it at first

but he accepts it out of courtesy, I presume, and this is the face he makes when he tries it:

Even he is surprised he liked it. He’s on Earth since 6000 years, so we can assume he tried coffee before and chose not to drink it. He’s either lying about liking it out of courtesy, or this is the only coffee he’s ever enjoyed, and The Metatron knew he would have liked it and chose that coffee on purpose.

So, the coffee is either important as a physical element, as something that had an actual effect on Aziraphale and changed him somehow, or it’s important in its metaphorical significance. In Good Omens almost everything is metaphorical, so the second option is very likely.

Now, what’s the coffee supposed to represent? The only certain thing we know, is that the coffee is something The Metatron offers Aziraphale, so it probably represents the offer he’s about to make.

Considering the whole “Does anyone ever choose death?” conversation, considering the fact that we don’t know how the conversation between The Metatron and Aziraphale went, we only know the version Aziraphale chooses to tell Crowley, and considering The Metatron is the angel that decided to erase Gabriel’s memory just because he said “nah” about Armageddon 2.0 and Aziraphale is the traitor, the one who stopped the Armageddon 1.0, so The Metatron has no reason to be friendly with him, my question is:

Did Aziraphale actually have a choice?

Or the alternative was worse than leaving Crowley and the bookshop?

Was it actually coffee or death?

Imago

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #the metatron #coffee theory #good omens theory #good omens meta #media analysis

[azfell-ajcrowley]

Something we didn't notice (part 1)

A lot of theories have emerged regarding s2e6. But I'll just show you what's not very obvious. Just my observations. I'll try to collect anything that's slipped in somewhere but hasn't attracted widespread interest.

The Metatron is ordering coffee. Right after that we see Michael threatens Aziraphale with the Book of Life. The Metatron enters.

The Metatron wasn't here when Michael made the threats. But he says:

So it turns out he heard Michael's threats from outside the bookshop. It seems to be very alarming to Aziraphale.

Aziraphale moves away from the Metatron. Fear? Let's say.

The Metatron raises the coffee cup in front of Aziraphale, then lowers it, raises it again, and we can see a barely perceptible finger tapping. Right on the logo sticker "Give me Coffee or Give me Death".

Aziraphale glances repeatedly at the coffee cup, he doesn't look calm. "Are you going to take it?" Or would you prefer death?

The Metatron looks threateningly at Crowley (and it seems he even whispers something silently to him). Aziraphale turns around at that very moment, and stares until the Metatron turns away from Crowley.

Crowley's expression while talking to Nina and Maggie and after talking to Aziraphale. Looks very similar. It could be described as pondering in both cases. He's not wrathful. He's not broken. He's trying to connect the dots. After Aziraphale said something to him before entering the elevator.

#crowley #aziraphale #good omens #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens parallels #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable divorce #good ineffable omens #ineffable spouses #the final fifteen #final fifteen #the metatron #good omens michael #good omens finale #coffee theory

[indigovigilance]

A Nightingale Sang in 1941

This is my inaugural meta (yay!) Eventually I will learn how to add gifs and whatnot to make this more interesting but today, I give you a wall of text.

I need to give credit where credit is due to three existing metas that I’m drawing upon heavily here:

A speculative continuation of the 1941 story, which includes an almost-kiss while “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays on the gramophone,

A behavioral analysis of Aziraphale during the S2E6 finale (will find ref later if possible)

A meta-analysis of the way in which “coffee” is used as a symbolic equivalent for liberty and freedom of choice, a running theme of this show (will find ref later if possible)

I’m going to expand upon meta #2 and #3 and explain why I think there is are very compelling reasons to believe that #1 will be canonized.

At the end of S1E6, an instrumental version of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays diegetically, but the lyrical version plays non-diegetically over the credits (we hear it but the protagonists don’t). So we the audience could plausibly say “that’s their song,” but as of the close of S1, we have no reason to believe that they know that it’s their song. Even Aziraphale’s S1E3 (1967) suggestion that they dine at the Ritz could be a reference that only he gets, or just a fancy restaurant suggestion.

So when I was watching S2E6 and Crowley said “no nightingales,” I was jarred. What does that even mean? We know it has something to do with dining at the Ritz, but what does it mean to them? The reference only works if they know it’s their song. But we’ve only ever seen them hear it together after the averted apocalypse; if this is the direct reference that Crowley is making, it leaves our 1967 reference contextless and twisting in the wind.

If we assume that there was a romantic story beat in 1941, wherein “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” (which, incidentally, was written in 1939 and saw the height of its popularity at the end of 1940, so timeline-wise it’s spot-on) became their song, then a lot of events get renewed interpretations through this lens, in a way that makes this story much more cohesive and the “no nightingales” comment even more soul-shattering than it already was.

Let’s presume that immediately after this became their song and just as they were discovering their romantic potential, they were forced back into hiding. Forever after, references to the song serve as a macro for “I’d like to pick up where we left off that night.”

The 1967 suggestion of “dining at the Ritz” now becomes a directly romantic suggestion. It also gives better context for “you go too fast for me.”

Actually going to the Ritz in 2019 is not simply a celebration or even a callback to 1967, it’s a callback to their almost-romance of 1941.

When Crowley says “no nightingales” in 2023, this isn’t to say “we’re not going to eat together at the Ritz anymore.” It’s saying that the romance that began that night, the precious, fragile romance, is over.

I’ll give you a moment to dry your eyes before we move on to metas #2 and #3.

In light that this is what has been going on - they know they want a romantic relationship but have gotten so used to hiding and denying it that they are more comfortable keeping the status quo static and quo-y then trying to achieve their ideal - a lot of S2 behavior can get a fresh view.

Crowley’s reaction to Nina isn’t a realization that he’s in love - he knew that already. You can only ask someone to run away with you so many times before you are forced to admit some things to yourself. No, he’s realizing that trying to hide it (which was justified by survival), hasn’t been working, but despite failing at being stealth nothing bad has happened. He’s realizing that it may finally be safe to show it.

Crowley’s confession, then, is not a revelation. It’s making the subtext text. He’s not telling Aziraphale anything he didn’t already know. He’s saying it now because he thinks he’s safe to do so. Pin in that.

Lots of people have lots of theories about Aziraphale’s motivations in the S2 finale, which can more or less be divided into 4 camps: the genuinely held belief, the coffee theory, the lie theory, and the mutual trick theory (some version of the body-switching at the end of S1). Let me start by saying that I love all the fans and all their theories and I find their analyses to be insightful. The genuinely held belief theory, while I believe it to be erroneous, has been incredibly conducive to so many wonderful conversations and I love being in a community that has those conversations. But I’m going to explain why I think the lie theory finds the most support in canon.

Re-watch the finale (when you feel like you can) from 35:18 to 36:19 and then from 40:45 to the end, paying very close attention to Aziraphale’s words and his eyes. Michael Sheen is telling us a LOT with his eyes, and in the back half of the finale scene, with pacing.

For 60 seconds of footage, this setup is doing a lot of work. If Neil Gaiman wasn’t doing enough to beat us over the head with how evil the Metatron is, that glare at Crowley at the end with the non-diegetic ominous horns should convey the message. But again, focusing on Aziraphale. He initially refuses to talk to the Metatron; he’s made his position quite clear. There is no hint of regret or wavering; this is not someone who’s aching to return to the fold. The Metatron ignores his refusal and functionally forces him to accept a “cup of coffee.” The coffee isn’t spiked, but it is a metaphor. It is symbolic of choice. The Metatron is going to force Aziraphale to make a choice. Meta #3 does a great job of exploring the idea that a choice between anything and death is never really a choice. Hang onto that thought.

Notice I had you start up again 3 seconds before “The Conversation.” That’s because it’s important to note where the Metatron is right now. He is across the street, staring straight in through those giant windows to where our protagonists are about to have The Conversation. He is watching.

When Aziraphale returns, Crowley begins his “let me talk” riff. Aziraphale ought to be interested in what Crowley has to say, since the preamble is pretty compelling. You’ll notice that Aziraphale quickly turns to the window and back, through which he (but not we) can see the Metatron standing there, watching them. Aziraphale is then doing his best to get Crowley to STFU without raising the suspicion of the Metatron, eventually having to cut him off.

Because unfortunately, Crowley’s entire impetus for speaking up now is that it’s safe to do so. Only Aziraphale knows that they are in very real danger (or at least, Crowley is, but I’ll come back to that).

You might take something from the fact that he’s shaking his head while talking about “incredibly good news,” and seems to self-censor his criticism of Metatron (or more specifically, he takes ownership of any criticism of the Metatron, censoring out Crowley’s role in that, with the emphasis on I in “I might have misjudged him”).

Notice in the flashback that he begins the conversation reasonably relaxed. The Metatron also says a series of things about him that not only are false, but everyone, including the Metatron and Crowley, know are false: Aziraphale is not a leader, he’s a defector; he’s not honest, he lies all the time, in fact this entire season revolved around his one huge lie of hiding Gabriel. Not only does the justification not make sense coming from Metatron, but it shouldn’t make sense that Aziraphale would accept these reasons and it shouldn’t make sense to Crowley either. So is Aziraphale including these details in his recounting to Crowley so that he will get suspicious and figure out the jig? Maybe. Let’s continue.

Immediately upon being offered the job of Supreme Archangel, Aziraphale says “but I don’t want to go back to Heaven.” This is direct evidence against the genuinely held belief theory. If returning to Heaven and making a difference was a genuine motivation, we would have gotten a different response at this moment. But then we get something more.

“Where would I get my coffee?”

This is a beautiful response for a number of reasons; coffee should be trivial compared to the opportunity to be a Supreme Archangel, so it serves to highlight just how little interest Aziraphale has in returning. Taken at face value, it’s the Aziraphale equivalent of “not even at gunpoint.” But remember that coffee is a metaphor for liberty in this universe and this season. So what Aziraphale just said, in the language of Neil Gaiman metaphors, is:

I don’t want to go back to Heaven, I would rather have free will.

What does the Metatron do next?

He brings up Crowley.

Watch Aziraphale’s eyes before and after the mention of Crowley. He goes from confused to eye-flicking panic in the space of two syllables. Aziraphale already understands that his “no” is not being accepted, and that bringing Crowley into it can only possibly serve as a threat.

So the coffee, the choice, is a false choice. No one ever orders death. The Metatron has forced Aziraphale into a situation that looks an awful lot like a choice (it comes in a blue cup, after all) but it isn’t.

We definitely have some reliable narrator problems here. I’m going to presume for purposes of analysis that these cut-outs are accurate but incomplete, and that a more explicit threat about what would happen to Crowley if Aziraphale did not return to Heaven was made.

If we assume that Aziraphale has been made aware of a threat and is trying to hide that from Crowley, the rest of this scene reads very differently. Aziraphale cannot say, “you are in danger but you will be safe if you swear your allegiance to Heaven” or “I have to go, no matter what, and the only way we can be together is if you come with me,” but nonetheless he now has to convince Crowley to do the one thing he ought to know Crowley definitely doesn’t want to do all through subtext. Which we’ve spent an entire season establishing that they can’t communicate well when they are allowed to use their words. Disastrously, this is not a magic trick that Aziraphale can make work when it counts. Their failure to practice good communication means that, right now, when it counts most, they are not going to pull it off.

We see that Aziraphale is very hopeful that Crowley will pick up on his cues and play along. Obviously, he doesn’t.

If the whole riff about Hell being bad guys and Heaven being the side of truth and light is taken as genuine, it discards a massive amount of character development that we’ve witnessed in Job, Edinburgh, etc. (again, to all the genuine belief subscribers, I think it’s a compelling argument but it simply doesn’t account for the evidence). So if it’s not genuine, why say it? Again, to alert Crowley that something is Off, because Crowley should know that Aziraphale doesn’t actually believe that. They saved humanity from Heaven and Hell. They hid Gabriel from Heaven and Hell. Crowley knows that Aziraphale knows that Heaven and Hell are just two sides of the same coin. Notice again that Aziraphale glances out the window while he’s talking up Heaven; he knows the Metatron is watching, he can’t not defend the position of Heaven. I think it’s also worth noting that Aziraphale forcefully glances and gestures off to Crowley’s left (away from the window) when talking about Hell, and then turns his head to Crowley’s right (towards the window) to try to get him to realize that a representative of Heaven is literally standing right over there, just look out the window please dumbass!

When Crowley is asking Aziraphale if he said no, and we see the back of Aziraphale’s head, again we can see him turn his head to glance out the window. This is also when he changes strategies, and admits that Heaven could use a little reform. Because now there’s a problem almost as big as getting caught, which is that he won’t be able to get Crowley to go with him.

Which unfortunately makes the next part of this so much more heartbreaking. Because when Crowley begins his speech about being a team, Aziraphale wants to hear it. He can’t bring himself to shut down Crowley again, even though it could get them both in massive trouble. Notice that he glances out the window again during this, and the look of panic on his face. He begins to shake his head when Crowley mentions that Heaven and Hell are toxic; this can be taken a lot of ways but I’ll argue for the interpretation that he’s trying to get Crowley to STFU and stop saying shit that could get him destroyed.

After Crowley puts on his sunglasses we are in the “back half” and Sheen is doing a lot with phrasing here, specifically pregnant pauses.

“Come with me… to Heaven!”

“We can be together… as angels!”

Based on the pacing decision I am thoroughly convinced that the first half of each of these statements is intended to be the message to Crowley and the second half is always a qualifying statement to satisfy the Metatron.

Unfortunately, these pregnant pauses are completely backfiring in their effect on Crowley. The sentiment gives him hope and the qualifying statement crushes it again immediately. He is being taken on a horrible emotional rollercoaster with these declarations which are only further amping up his instinct to run away.

The only truly genuine, unaldulterated statement I think we get from Aziraphale is

“I need you!”

When it becomes clear to Aziraphale that there’s been an irreparable breakdown of communication between them and the subtext is not getting across, he says:

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

He means this literally. Crowley has not understood that Aziraphale is offering him protection from whatever threat the Metatron has made.

Which makes this part extra-devastating and also absolutely in keeping with a major running theme of this season.

“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Your understanding and my understanding are different understandings.

Crowley views the offer to return to Heaven through the lens of his trauma. He understands what life in Heaven would be like. But he doesn’t understand that Aziraphale is offering him protection.

But Aziraphale just heard Crowley say that he understood everything, and he’s still going to leave. There might be a little suspense of disbelief here to believe that Aziraphale really interpreted the statement this way, but we know that Aziraphale isn’t always the brightest battery-operated candle in the drawer. So under the assumption that Crowley did understand him and is still rejecting the offer, rejecting him—

“Well, then there’s nothing more to say.”

Please pay very close attention to Aziraphale’s body language for the next part. He’s active, agitated, turning side to side, arms swinging. This is a very fidgety angel.

“No nightingales.”

Aziraphale is now completely still. He’s feeling that feeling. You know it. The one where your entire body is getting sucked into the pit of your stomach. The aching paralysis.

This is their song, the one that began their romance in 1941, the secret code for all other attempts at flirtation. Crowley has walked out on him before, Aziraphale has been stubborn and obstinate before. But they always came back together, sometimes with an apology dance or other rituals that belonged solely to them.

But now the song is over.

By saying this, Crowley has broken up with Aziraphale. We can see in Aziraphale’s sudden transition from fidgety to paralysis that he has understood it this way.

Then he turns away from the window so that the Metatron won’t see him cry.

The kiss was heart-wrenching already. But we’re not done with this analysis.

During the kiss, Aziraphale has a choice to make between two very compelling bad choices. This is the Job dilemma. But worse.

If he doesn’t kiss Crowley back, he will let Crowley think that he doesn’t love him. He will have missed out on this (maybe/probably their first kiss?) and regret it forever.

If he does kiss Crowley back, in full view of the Metatron, they are in deep trouble.

He seems to do his best to split the difference. I would even go so far to say that the awkward arm waving is Aziraphale acting for the Metatron’s benefit, to try to portray that he doesn’t want this even though he absolutely does (just not like this). The anguish when they break the kiss is absolutely real, and the first thing he does is glance out the window. Through all this he has remained painfully aware of their spectator.

He wants to say I love you. He mouths it. He breathes it.

But the Metatron is watching.

He can’t tell Crowley I love you. So he has to say the only other thing that has always unequivocally meant “I love you” when he said it to Crowley. He has to hope that Crowley understands him now, even though he never has before.

Spoiler alert: Crowley doesn’t.

My forgiveness and your forgiveness are not the same forgiveness.

One more point against the genuine belief fans (I love you): if the offer to let Crowley back in is what changed his mind, then Crowley declining removes that incentive. Aziraphale should/would have consequently retreated to his last stated position of “I don’t want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my Crowley—I mean, coffee?” [post-publication nod to @theonevoice for a great little meta] It simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

I think a lot of fans were already making these assumptions about the use of the nightingale song so this meta may not feel revelatory, however, it isn’t canon (yet), and I’m sure I’ll find company that agree that canonization of this connection would strengthen a lot of these story points, as evidenced by how it is already assumed by many fans.

If you made it to the end - omg thank you! Please leave a note and tell me your thoughts!

Bonus: somebody already made the song connection here

~~~

if you liked this, you may also like:

Book of Life and what it means for Crowley

The Erasure of Human!Metatron

Baraqiel and Azazel

~~~

Recommended related (lie theory) metas by other people:

making the subtext text by @theonevoice

Aziraphale's Decision Matrix by @yowlthinks

Nothing Lasts Forever: META by @phoen1xr0se

#good omens #good omens 2 #neil gaiman #coffee theory #lie theory #no nightingales #metatron #good omens meta #the metatron #good omens 2x06 #fuck metatron #metatron good omens #good omens 1941 #michael sheen #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #ivoc

[you-go-too-slow-for-me]

If I had a nickel for every time a coffee had caused chaos in the final minutes of an episode of a show containing David Tennant this year, I'd have two nickels

... Which is not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

#good omens #doctor who #david tennant #good omens season 2 #crowley #aziraphale #coffee theory #metatron #the doctor #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #doctor who 60th anniversary #the star beast #spoilers

[bwlkins]

Almost seven months. And there's still "Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley".

More like Aziraphale chose life over death. Don't you think?

We all love Crowley, but sometimes it's not just him you're supposed to look at. He's not the only character of this show. Everyone and everything else matter too.

Aziraphale left not only Crowley, but also their bookshop and everything else. The only thing Aziraphale can leave Crowley and their bookshop for is their lives.

Seems like the Metatron isn't going to smite Aziraphale and/or Crowley here and now. But he might change his mind if Aziraphale keeps turning him down.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #ineffable idiots #good omens s2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #aziraphale defense squad #aziraphale loves crowley #neil gaiman #the metatron #the final fifteen #ineffable lovers #ineffable divorce #give me coffee or give me death

[thesherrinfordfacility]

want a crack theory? i'll give you a crack theory. right what if metatron knew about the body swap, and that's why he offered coffee to aziraphale, something we've never seen him drink. of course there's the implications of the 'give me coffee or give me death', but he was offering the coffee to weedle out whether or not aziraphale was in fact aziraphale, or if he was crowley

#aziraphale obviously responds with some... hesitancy around the coffee and metatron's like ahhh definitely him #alternatively... we're led to assume that the holiest water is in heaven. im not saying the bastard laced it but 👀 #anyway #good omens #still perplexed (beyond the possible omelas reference) how and why the metatron would order such a convoluted drink

[villanellecter]

no, I don't think Aziraphale was under any influence from the coffee or something when he made that choice in the last scene

given what we know about Aziraphale, his difficulty in grasping his own morality and his strong belief that people (and even heaven) can change it makes perfect sense that he would take the chance to finally make a difference

but the thing is, he really thought he would be able to do it with Crowley by his side, he wasn't expecting him to deny the offer because he still thinks heaven is inherently good and therefore it would be an obvious choice

but it isn't, not for Crowley who was kicked out of heaven for asking questions, who's seen heaven's heartless attempt to kill the most important "person" in his life, who's seen what heaven is capable of doing for what they believe to be right, not good, just right (for them)

they could've still be them but Aziraphale had to make a decision for what he thought was right and that meant loosing the chance of being with someone he loves

it wasn't out of character and I really do believe that the internal struggles faced by the angel will play a big part in the third season as he discovers more about himself, heaven, hell, good, bad, humanity and love

#guess we'll have to wait and see #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #go s2 spoilers #good omens season 2 #neil gaiman #aziraphale #crowley #david tennant #michael sheen #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #coffee theory #metatron #good omens theory

[kazz-brekker]

i have seen several people say that they think metatron put something in aziraphale's coffee to brainwash him into coming back to heaven, but honestly i think the coffee was actually just metatron's way of seeming more likeable/trustworthy since he knew that by ingratiating himself with aziraphale he would be much more likely to persuade him to come back to heaven and become an archangel

#does that make sense? #i have seen great conspiracies/meaning attached to the coffee #but i think it was just part of metatron's fatherly attitude act #pie says stuff #good omens

[worstpunk]

Ive seen the lie theory and the coffee theory (bad) but what I think REALLY happened was that everything played out as it seems until the elevator. So Metatron makes his offer, they have the argument, Aziraphale has second thoughts (LITERALLY almost says "I think I've made a mistake"). Metatron definitely knew that Crowley could never accept and did that on purpose to break them up, because he was intimidated that together they could perform such a strong miracle at the beginning of the season, and he knew that together they would foil Heaven's next plan. But anyway I think when Aziraphale is standing outside the elevator and hears about the second coming and his face drops, in that moment he KNOWS he fucked up. He knows that it would be a mistake to go back to Heaven. But he still gets in the elevator because in that moment, he determines to be the man on the inside for the "group of the two of them." I think now he intends to act like he wants to be the supreme archangel, but as soon as he finds out what the plan is with the second coming, he's going straight to Crowley so they can stop it. Evidence for this is the way his face DROPS when he hears Metatron say the second coming, and that slow sideways look he shoots Crowley right afterwards, not of longing or indecision but of fear. His last look to Crowley isn't tearful but wide-eyed and wary, like the look you give your friend across the room to signal that something is wrong. So that's my theory.

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #good omens theory #ineffable husbands #metatron #aziraphale #crowley #call me op #lie theory #coffee theory #good omens coffee theory

[stitched-up-teddy-bear]

The Coffee Theory

This theory is by the fantastic @jumbledstars on TikTok

This Theory is for everyone who felt betrayed or hurt by Aziraphale in the season 2 finale or just doesn’t trust The Metatron!!!

The theory goes that the coffee The Metatron gives Aziraphale made him "switch side"

When Metatron invited Aziraphale for a chat, Aziraphale made it clear that he does not wish to follow him until he took a sip from the coffee. Metatron quote on quote forces Aziraphale to drink it rather than offering it casually. After the first sip, Aziraphale suddenly agreed to chat with him. At that moment, Metatron bitterly glanced back at Crowley, catching his attention.

In the coffee shop, Metatron reveals his plan to make Aziraphale the new supreme archangel and commander of the heavenly host, which surprises Aziraphale as he wonders where he would get his coffee. This struck me as odd because we never saw him drink coffee in the series until now.

As Aziraphale walks home, his expression appears more disoriented than when he's in the bookshop, suggesting the coffee may be affecting his brain.

Aziraphale excitedly tells Crowley about the "good news," saying that Crowley can finally be an angel again. However, Crowley disagrees, seeing heaven as equally bad as hell.

Aziraphale comments, "Of course you would disagree with hell, you're the bad guys, but heaven..." This also strikes me as odd because Aziraphale doesn't usually talk about hell or demons in that manner anymore. The last time was during the car ride in season one before they crashed into Anathema.

Furthermore, Aziraphale wouldn't be motivated enough to make a change in heaven, as he and Crowley have been on Team Earth for a while now and seem content with it. Crowley notices this and tells Aziraphale, "We're better than that. YOU'RE better than that!" He senses that something is wrong with Aziraphale or at least suspects it.

After Crowley's confession and (let’s be honest) unexpected kiss (which left Aziraphale confused and regretful), Metatron returns to the bookshop, asking him if he's ready to go, contradicting what he said just 8 minutes ago about giving Aziraphale all the time he needs to make a choice. It's as if Metatron already knows what Aziraphale will choose.

I think Crowley's confession or kiss has momentarily snapped Aziraphale back to reality, as he shows genuine concern for his bookshop and is reluctant to leave. Although Metatron assures him that Muriel will look after it, Aziraphale still appears hesitant and confused.

When asked if he needs to bring something, Aziraphale seems lost and unsure of what to do. However, he eventually regains his composure and follows Metatron with a smile.

Thank you for reading! This theory came from @jumbledstars on TikTok and it’s way too good to ignore! Link to the original theory below!!!

#good omens 2 #aziraphel #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens spoilers #good omens #ineffable spouses #ineffable lovers #ineffable exes #ineffable divorcées #the coffee theory #the metatron #theory #season finale #gifs #not my theory

[mirayrex]

The Coffee Theory

The coffee theory suggests Metatron did something to the coffee he gave to Aziraphale. Here are the details.

1) In the first episode, we can see Aziraphale sort of judging Crowley for drinking coffee.

2) When the Metatron showed up to pick up the coffee, he asks Nina "Does anyone ever choose death over coffee?" and then when he gets his answer he just says "Predictable.".

3) The Metatron entrusted the library to Muriel before Aziraphale returned to the bookshop. He was sure Aziraphale would come to heaven.

4) When The Metatron first hands over the coffee to Aziraphale looks at him confused, sort of seemed like he didn't want to take it.

5) After taking a sip of the coffee, (there was a whoosh sound effect) when The Metatron asked if he liked the coffee, he quickly said yes in a panicked tone.

6) The look The Metatron gave to Crowley when going out.

7) Aziraphale looks sort of relieved when we first see the aftermath of their conversation. As if the only solution for both of them to live is to become angels.

8) He starts begging Crowley to come to Heaven with him. He's too insistent.

9) When Aziraphale comes into the bookshop, Crowley tries to explain his feelings to him which is rare as hell and I'm pretty sure Aziraphale wouldn't dare to interrupt him in such a moment, but he does. He's either forced to or he knows he can't stay on earth and has to go to heaven so listening to Crowley will only hurt his feelings more.

10) He suddenly defends heaven all over again. The heaven that tried to kill him AND Crowley. We know Aziraphale isn't a power-hungry kind of angel so switching ideas just because he was offered a higher position would be ridiculous.

11) He probably can't fight what it is that Metatron suggested but wants Crowley by his side by all means. As if something is going to happen to Crowley if he doesn't come to heaven.

UPDATE: The coffe is in the intro!!!!

#aziraphale #crowley #good omens #neil gaiman #aziracrow #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #coffee theory #metatron #muriel #gos2 #good omens season 2 #good omens theory

[good-soupmens]

Apply this to Aziraphale how you will, but as an autistic person, I REALLY fell for Metatron's kind old man act. I didn't notice the subtle manipulation, like giving Aziraphale coffee and saying "I've ingested things in my time" to show that he's different from the food-hating, earth-hating angels. I didn't notice him taking on Aziraphale's speech mannerisms before turning away and scowling. It was only after reading meta and rewatching twice that I was like WOAH I didn't even see that.

I can see that heaven's system is screwed up, but I literally thought "Metatron's not like the other angels." I trusted his kindness, especially given that he wanted Aziraphale to run heaven, obviously the best angel for the job. I didn't consider that he wanted to appoint him because he knows Aziraphale is powerful and has stopped heaven and hell before.

I was right along with Aziraphale when all of this went down, agreeing with him when he didn't want the job ("where would I get my coffee?") and then seeing the appeal when Metatron said he could run heaven from earth WITH Crowley. They get to keep living the life they carved out for each other AND Aziraphale can fix the corruption in heaven? I love seeing kind-hearted characters fixing broken things, and I wanted him to fix the system.

As for Crowley becoming an angel again, I didn't really think of it as changing him. He's just Crowley, and he'd keep being Crowley. He's good already. I saw it as heaven offering to right their wrong because he never deserved to fall in the first place, and they wouldn't let someone they believed is evil back in, right? I trusted their judgment of Aziraphale and Crowley. I didn't consider that of COURSE Crowley wouldn't want to go back there. Why would he??

So when Aziraphale finally told him about the offer, I was hoping he would agree. It's important, they could change things! Metatron is claiming to give Aziraphale the reins. Crowley and Aziraphale for once are allowed to be together, and Aziraphale was so ready to not hold back in their relationship. There'd be no reason to deny it or go slow, it's obvious that their love is mutual.

It wasn't a surprise that Crowley said no, and deep down, Aziraphale knew why, but he didn't understand. Crowley and Aziraphale weren't seeing how the other saw it (that Aziraphale WANTS to be together. He wants to make heaven a better place, but Crowley believes it'll never happen, and heaven means to manipulate him). They truly would be the perfect team if they were in charge.

But the problem: that's not what Metatron or heaven intends. "Give me coffee or give me death" meant that if Aziraphale didn't accept the offer, he would've been destroyed. Metatron knew he'd accept, and based on the glare he gave Crowley, I don't think Crowley was ever really in his plan. Metatron will try to use Aziraphale and his power to end the world, and he has no idea he's a pawn. He fell for Metatron's apparent kindness and got swept away with the idea that he and Crowley wouldn't have to hide.

It's heartbreaking because I AM frustrated with Aziraphale, but I know why he chose heaven. There's trauma underlying his actions as well, and he didn't need MAGIC coffee (sorry, I'm mean about coffee theory) to fall hook, line, and sinker for what Metatron was selling. He loves Crowley so much, but if his plans to change heaven worked, he'd be saving the entire world from destruction.

People are still like "NO NO NO, how could he leave Crowley? He must've been hypnotized" when he is putting the WORLD first. That's not to say he won't regret it immediately, miss Crowley the entire time, or even change his mind, but it all happened so fast, and Crowley seemingly gave out on him. He refused, said "good luck", and started to leave. They didn't communicate with each other. I don't think Aziraphale was leaving him forever, but he thought "I HAVE to do this". Crowley is right, but Aziraphale can't see it another way.

Now he has to try his best to change heaven. In the end, he'll see the mistake he made and owe an apology to Crowley, but he has to figure it out on his own. After it's all said and done, it could be the last time they hold back from each other. Going through an angst arc of THIS magnitude would be worth it, and Neil Gaiman is a genius

#aziraphale apologist #good omens meta #autistic aziraphale #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #good omens spoilers #metatron good omens #coffee theory #Aziraphale meta #good omens theory #good omens finale #aziraphale kin

[theelastword]

some of y’all crowley kins!!!

who hate aziraphale now!!!!!

are forgetting!!!!!

who would eviscerate you the fastest if he knew you talked shit about azi like that!!!!!!

#“aww crowley is aziraphale’s protector no it’s me actually #aziraphale #good omens #aziraphale defender #aziraphale defense squad #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #good omens s2 ending #coffee theory #metatron #gabriel x beelzebub #ineffable beurocracy #aziraphale kin #crowley kin #good omens season two #good omens s2 #good omens finale #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant

[the-apology-dance]

MY TWO BRAIN CELLS JUST STARTED WORKING AND I NEED TO SHARE THIS.

The Bentley is parked outside the coffee shop the ENTIRE TIME Aziraphale and the Metatron were having that conversation Crowley nor the audience heard.

BUT OH BOY THERE COULD A HINT IN PLAIN SIGHT.

THE BENTLEY.

An EXTENSION of the man himself, who didn't hear what Azi talked about. It is parked outside of the shop called “Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death.”

Aziraphale was GIVEN coffee by the Metatron.

But nobody ever asks for death. Right?

That's because it would be GIVEN to them. Without a choice.

What I am saying is one person would be given death unknowingly without asking for it.

Crowley.

Metatron was going to kill the one thing he held dear. His connection to Aziraphale.

That conversation most likely included a death threat towards Crowley.

I could be wrong but it seems Aziraphale is going to be made to think Crowley is dead. Just as Crowley believed Aziraphale was in Season 1.

So the book shop went up in flames and Crowley believed it was hellfire….

What could be the one thing that could scare Aziraphale? Crowley and Holy Water.

Where did we see that? Oh yeah.

IN THE BENTLEY.

Foreshadowing, perhaps? That Aziraphale will see what it feels like to lose Crowley via Holy Water inside something he knows he holds dear.

His Bentley.

Furthermore, if Crowley can FEEL what happens with The Bentley, does it know something Crowley doesn't? How would it get his attention? THE SONG IN THE CAR.

A reminder of Aziraphale. Trying to tell Crowley to go after him. Only until Crowley shuts off the radio.

Please let me know what you all think of the heartbreaking S3 theory…..i’m going to go cry now.

#good omens #crowley #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #neil gaiman #david tennant #good omens s3 thoughts #good omens s3 predictions #the bentley #small details #my heart is breaking #everything points to Crowley’s “death” #give me coffee or give me death #give me season 3 or give me death #fuck metatron #also fuck the metatron #foreshadowing #my two brain cells started functioning #i'm gonna lose it #micheal sheen #good omens analysis #interesting