#more to come next month or so idk

[helmarok]

gettin the living room shelf for my $200 worth of pokemerch i bought 🙈

#ganon rambles #more to come next month or so idk #whenever my next black out and buy things and regret it later moment is.

[salemontrial]

Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

#no im so pissed about that. #dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful #and just #walk away scot free #last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month. #that might just be the bpd tho #but still #quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself #and then she makes her her vice?????????? #she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip #sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around #which as she should #but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL #in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist #like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider #i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it #and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe' #THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????. #also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis #with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions #and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore #and then victimizing herself!!!!!!! #like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is #idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner #anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page. #heartbreak high #heartbreak high season 2 #quinni gallagher jones #sasha so #missy beckett

[b4kuch1n]

wizard looking for a way home (aka wizard of dark space)

#pokemon #swsh #champion leon #wizard leon babeyy! #thank u to cosme for hangin out with me while I figure this one out lol #this! is the piece I used for the ''speedpaint'' thingy btw. I'll try to put together the video over the next month or so #lol. usually when I make wizard leon designs I riff with what comes up and think abt like. maybe his affinity in this set #like ''oh he'd do fabric talismans. oh he'd levitate. he does poppet stuff'' #that at most. but this. the moment I started fleshing this one out I was like #oh he's really lost. for a very long time. to the point he's learned so much he's forgotten what many of the things on his suit does #like lmao I guess I can Not be normal about any astronaut leon huh!! its chronic for me #I couldnt get to some of the questions folks asked with this one. so this video will probably not be comprehensive #but I'll make another when those things come up!! #fksjdfk sorry lads most of u guys asked abt colors but idk if this ones the best for that. its got a preddy concrete palette #guess I can save talking about the more insane color stuff for when that comes up too... #we'll see!! hope it's gonna happen #for now. one more wizard leon for the book. have a good night lads! #tie a yarn round ur wrist dont forget the way back

[newtness532]

im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal

#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫 #like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it #but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like #this was the 1st time we were hearing about it #like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat #and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like #oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and #all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal #like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching #anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today #like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled #anyway #also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month #like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird #but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out #and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them? #my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless #also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans #(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out #again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either #also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas #ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want #anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized. #and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this- #-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace- #-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it- #-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it. #fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get- #-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over. #i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement. #its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every- #-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past. #even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

[victoriartdrawings]

fanfic rec post tomorrow maybe???👀

me to all my fandom ships knowing perfectly i wont have the time to do even 1 for at least one pairing til next week 🤡

#percabeth #snowbaird #anidala #zutara #hiccstrid #so much more ships name to add (like REALLY) these tagged ships are just some my brain is currently obsessed with this week #my next obsession next month???? idk yet 💀 my head is weird. like often #rn im mostly frustated with myself and feel a little bit useless be.cause. it takes so much time!!! but i want to do it #but i dont #so my brain says to me DWE IT YOU LAZY USELESS PROCASTINATING ASS!!!! #like first i have to remember the fic #then scroll through my 7000 downloaded fic folder. a nightmare 💀most of the time i dont remember the title but only the period #where i was obsessed with them (also hell because my multiple obsession with a ship always leave and then come back 2 or 6 months later 🤡 #so sometimes I find myself downloading 2 or 3 times the same fic🤡) #(ALSO some its been 4/5 years since i read them so i let u imagine the headache i get trying to remember lol) #then class them by long fic one shot - theme etc...while re-reading fast some of them bc my memory is shit #and AFTER ALL THAT i write the actual commentary for each one of them and remembering what my experience reading it was like #because personal commentary that made people laugh and want to read the fic recommended make me so happy for the author!!!! #ALSO I MOSTLY JUST LOVE SHARING MY READING EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS!!!!! SO MUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS! #but then real life is like no.not today. and indeed. not today. #fanfic rec #fanfic #reader #fandom

[chanyoungies]

김준서 (KIM JUN SEO) 1st Mini Album [ECHOES of love] 2022.11.20 6PM (KST)

#kim junseo #wei #ouiai #DEAR GOD it's 10AM as i draft we have 6 hours to go until i post but oh my god im finally done i thought id never finish dear GOD #this is far from the best thing ive ever done. but it was an interesting experience #nd definitely took some time (not the most tho . nothing can beat paula's birthday set when it comes to that) but also .... surprisingly #less than i thought ? like longer but also shorter .? u know ? #this made me go insane i kept forgetting about my food and i also kept working in silence half of the time bc i would forget to put smth on #eri if i decide to do a second one next year PLEASE tell me to start sooner like if i start brainstorming into ur ear in like may pls accept #i say 'if' as if i wasnt already working on song choices for next year lmao #i was really excited for this and i think that made me not rlly think as much as i should have i think i can do better next year . if i star #if i start early enough #ANYWAYS #happy junseo birth <3 my prince <3 or smth idk #pls dont perceive the mcd thumbnail from up close i beg u #boy who's so important . . a boy so fox . . . nation's model (2) pretty boy with pretty voice . . whatever im not gonna start rambling more #but he's very important n i hope he knows that he is & that he's so very loved & i hope that he's happy today and always . etc #nd i love him or whatever . whatever whatever no one look everyone close your eyes #*mine #special thanks to eri as always my bewoved who has been hearing me talk about this for the past like month thank u for putting up with me #(re:this and also in general i love u)

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like. #what? am I missing something here? #my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know. #honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

[orcelito]

Oh yeah I also got this guy in

Loser glasses can't stand up straight

The chain is sexy tho

He's in jail now

#speculation nation #gonna have to do some arranging with the display case #i got 3 BLR figurines coming in sometime in the next few months #so hes not gonna stay front n center of the top shelf like this #i'll figure it out. i kinda wanna bring my p3 thanatos out too so i can see him more easily #idk. ill figure it out later. #for now i just shoved him in here so hes not in danger of kitty teeth. i'll decide his permanent home later.

[themagicalmysticalboy]

.

#vent post #my and my gfs friend passed away monday no more than an hour after we had dinner together #there was a really bad car accident and she died on impact. my gfs sisters boyfriend was also in the car and is intensive care #everyone who was here for the cookout (close friends and family) #have barely left my gfs sisters house #we have so many bills coming up and we’re both out a weeks pay plus we’ve been paying for food and gas to get people to and from the #hospital #and we’re almost three hours from home so i’ve had to take a trip down and come right back up just to grab us clothes and feed my cat #me and my girlfriend are the only couple that made it out of monday with each other and it just makes me feel.. idk how to even say #i’ve been cleaning and doing dishes and trying to help everyone. it makes me feel a bit better to do something and take some weight off the #girlfriend of the girl who passed and my gfs sister #we had just made so many plans with her friend #we were gonna go to pride together and go kayaking next month #it barely feels real that she’s gone and that the other passenger is in a coma #everyone’s stressed and i’m barely making sense #i’ve been sleeping on an oversized beanbag all week and just feeling grateful that i have my gf in my arms when i drift off for a few hours

[b4kuch1n]

lol that post got super derailed off the bat (nobody’s fault but mine for being smarmy there tbh) but the point stands. before you call any creature with feathered wings I make “angel” please imagine me being very miffed about it and then do as you wish

#bakuspeech #like. I think the thing here is you're just misreading the piece if you go in looking for angel stuff #which literally doesn't matter really but I'm up in arms about it the way authors are about their worst character being fan favourite #idk man. do u know there are big birds on our copper drums #they're neat and they're cool I like them a lot #anyways. this round of comms is finally done!! #sorry to the last client in the bout for taking so damn long skjghdkj I just. I don't think I like working with a light table #or. I'd like it better if its bigger. I'd just like it better if I have more space in general probably #currently it's just like. I have to choose between my tablets and my ink. and switching is a Big hassle #I'll try to figure out something for it! #but the news for now is: I'll take the next week off comm stuff. to unclench my brain #got a Bunch of stuff I wanna take care of. before the month ends #so uh! we'll see about stuff! if ur here for the ink comms please look forward to that coming back in a week! #also I'm gonna reblog the recent stuff again. I've just been head in sketchbook/paper not giving a shit abt anything #I need to see sunlight again. man. boy

[intoafandom]

.

#right so I’m hiding this sht in the tags because im going to sound like an absolute crazy person and i hope no one sees this or reads this #because im going to sound stupid and delusional and ik im 99.99% sure this is not gunna happen but i have to say it anyway to get it out of #my head. sooo woong dyed his hair back to black which normally i wouldn’t bat an eyelash at but idk im just getting this feeling because #they just freaking played bring it on on the radio and were dancing and singing to ravns part and ON TOP OF THAT THEY ALSO DID REWIND WHERE #XION LITERALLY SANG ALL OF RAVNS PARTS and like i cant stop thinking about it. rewind. REWIND of all songs. why did they pick THAT one. #out of EVERYTHING they picked rewind. the song that pays homage to their past memories as 6. literally doing the choreo in their seats when #the song is about TURNING BACK TIME. and now woong dyed is hair back to black. like how it was right before yj left... #leedos hair is also the same length now...and if Seoho’s hair is back to black as well... #we all feel like something big is coming and when u pair this with all the japan stuff...i cant help but think...and im still thinking about #ravns insta stories. there will be an answer let it be. ive done all i can do now i have to wait for fate. paraphrasing but yeah. #and lets not forget the fact that ravn JUST posted his full face for the first time in months. everything feels so significant and like #everything is coming together for some big moment. i cant stop thinking about it. fvcking rewind. like they’re going to be turning back the #clock completely. same looks as malus aka their last true comeback as 6 and apparently their next comeback is ALSO IN SEPTEMBER?? like... #im probably reading into this but...i cant help but think......something very huge is coming. something HUGE. something more than just #ravn dropping his mixtape. if that’s all that happens I’ll be happy 100% duh...but idk...i just think there’s gunna be something MORE. #im too scared to post this on twitter cuz ik ravn lurks and if im wrong which I probably am I wouldn’t want him to see it #or anyone else either. but im saying it here bc if i dont say it at all ill go crazy. and most of my followers here are b’s fans so they #wont read this and maybe i can bury it lol

[possiblytracker]

got dragged to a pub quiz with some of my housemates buddies and was fully convinced i was not really gonna have a good time and itd probably be too loud and i wouldnt be much help etc etc etc bc my mood is still not great but i forgot im a competitive motherfucker when it comes down to it and the sheer rush of euphoria that comes from knowing a few more obscure answers that had the rest of the room hemming and hawing is gonna carry me through the next week probably

#when nobody else in the wetherspoons in rural wales knows what the capital of florida is or what you call a female swan #the big ass grin spreading across my face and sheer rush of Power listening to 2 people the next table over arguing over whether #its jacksonville or miami. you Fools. you absolute buffoons. i know more than you/j/j/j/j #i am so exhausted now and the 'yea this is Over you are enjoying urself too late' sadness is creeping back in but it was worth it #we came 3rd...... the prize was a whole pitcher of some cocktail for the group but i do not drink so i just went home to bed #a female swan is called a pen btw i knew that six month long job spouting swan facts at 8 year olds would come in handy someday #IDK i still have a lot to work through but i feel like i should make a slightly less depressing post today skdfjh;; #shoutout to my housemate for always somehow noticing when i have just not left my room in a day and coming to drag me out of it #i was so close to just not eating again (which tbf. i didnt. until like 6pm whoops) #but now i have done that AND touched grass AND socialised AND feel good abt myself a bit.. so..... #i worry a lot that people dont really. notice or care that much when im struggling/when they do that its annoying or a burden so #im very grateful to have people who care about me enough to try and pull me out of it. i hope wherever i end up after this #that i can surround myself with more people like that #man this feels pretty bittersweet to think about as well but in more of a cathartic kinda way. i guess #trying to think abt things slightly more positively so i dont turn into a festering black pit of bad vibes for the next few weeks #and my blog still inexplicably feels like the nicest place to sort through this kinda thing

[virtualmosshroom]

in a weird headspace

#just coming off my period so no surprise there but like #idk i feel very very isolated and hopeless and am dissociating a lot about reality/society #the downfall of twitter has fucked me up #i don’t know what i’m doing #i’m ill and receiving no support and it feels impossible to do anything more with my life than just surviving #there’s also a lot of r*** related content online and in media rn and it’s been a lot on my brain #i don’t have any hyperfixations rn so i’m just sitting here numb and waiting for something interesting to happen #living in poverty is so harmful to my physically disabled and AUDHD self #i want to go outside and laugh with friends in the sunshine #i want to be held and in love and support someone #i want to travel to japan and eat amazing food and shop #i want connection and meaning #but it all feels so impossible #/ #i was so convinced that i had absolutely blown that interview #and then i find out that it actually didn’t go as bad as i thought #i haven’t been outside and socialised in so long i think that’s why my brain shut down during the interview #i’m not really fit for work but i need and want to #i’ll find out in a couple days what the next four months of my life will look like #guess we’ll see

[haliaiii]

so many ideas for art projects but no time to do them bc of college apps and calc hw hfdjsalfjdklsa;djfkl;asdjklf

#im thinking abt making a portfolio with a focus of values and lighting #like heavy contrast with colors #thus i have come up with nearly 5 entire new ideas that I want to start immediately- #unfortunately i have to survive these next 2 months of admissions and calc #taking calc online was a mistake man #my sole goal rn is to pass and not tank my gpa #the first idea is the one im working on rn #which is like a woman walking in the dark and gets a flashlight shined on her #can be perceived as scary depending on context #the next one is another woman driving at night #which was inspired by the way tail lights hit your face when driving #next one is more perspective again #where it's one (or two idk) ppl in a bath tub fully clothed just chilling #and then another one where its a guy or girl in a dimly lit room while a party is going on through the doorway #i should make plans for these- #im mainly writing it here so I don't forget #sorry for the ramble lmao