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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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Remember Me ~ Worick Arcangelo x Reader

Disclaimer: This is going to have mentions of past abuse and supposedly illegal behaviour, but considering it’s Gangsta we’re talking about, I don’t think anyone should be surprised by darker themes addresses.

Birthdays...Have always been tedious. A drag. More work than they are worth...So, I wonder...Why do I actually bother doing a party at my home?

I mean, it’s true, I get it, I’m 21, I’m of age...Legally an adult, legally allowed to drink, legally everything whatever...The same as it has been for the past 3 years...

And MAYBE it’s fun to sometimes gather around with your friends and do the same things everyone always does at parties, loud music, alcohol, cigarettes and gossips...

But there is always that annoying anxiety feeling surging through my veins whenever I have to be around more than 3 of my friends, considering this is a party organised by me, and everything has to be done perfectly, everyone must feel good, and at home, not to be left out...

I can already envision myself being the only outcast, anyway, but that’s besides the point.

It’s already evening, the alcohol is sitting on the table, the pizza boxes are stacked up in a mountain on the floor, plastic cups everywhere, ash trays placed strategically, dim lights, coloured light projectors to make the room look like a disco...

And then there’s me. Sitting anxiously on the couch in the living room, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a long plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, along with some silver rings and a necklace. Casual, comfy, yet pretty elegant in its simplicity.

My friends arrived soon, very loudly congratulating me on aging one more year, fantastic...But they had a mischievous smirk on their faces...

And they brought in a tall, blond man who looked very macho, and I could only blink in confusion as everyone walked inside.

“Uhm...Who is he? One of yours boyfriend or something?” I asked, eyeing everyone attentively. “Nooo, silly! He’s our gift for you!” my best friend grabbed the man by his arm, shoving him towards me. “I’m...Not sure I follow.” I spoke with even more unease, not wanting to believe what I was hearing. “He’s Ergastulum’s most wanted Gigolo! And tonight, he’s all yours to do with as you please! C’mon, you deserve to let loose and have fun once in a while, y’know? Forget about all those jerks and enjoy pleasure like you’ve never felt before~!” my other best friend grabbed me by my shoulders from behind, putting her chin on top of one of her hands, slurring seductively. “...I see.” I muttered, looking away, trying to mask my displeasure at what I was hearing. “Anyway, let’s get you drunk! You won’t get to enjoy anything if you’re so cold and reserved with everyone, y’know? Maybe that’s why you’re always alone! Now c’mon, let’s have fun!” she dragged me to the drinks table, and we started playing drinking games like never have I ever...

Gotta say, Vodka and Bailey’s has always been a shot combination that I adore, and I’m grateful that it takes a long time to get me drunk, because these girls are wasted, while I’m not, so I can escape their grasp. Drunk dancing isn’t that fun, even to watch, and they were making fools of themselves, screeching, giggling...More or less sounding like pained donkeys.

Or maybe I’m just too judgemental and mean because I’ve been in a bad mood and spiraling since they got in my home. To be fair, I don’t even care what is the truth. These are my feelings and I’m not going to play them off as insignificant or non-existent.

Eyeing them carefully, I take a pack of cigarettes and make my way out of the house and sit on the stairs, taking a deep breath of the cold winter night air, I light up a cigarette, taking a drag and staring up at the sky, letting my endless train of toxic thoughts overwhelm me.

I was so long in my own mind that I didn’t notice the door opening until a shadow blocked my vision, and I noticed the platinum blond man sitting down on the stairs below me, resting his back on the wall on the side.

“Y’know...I haven’t been to many birthday parties before, but I’m pretty sure the birthday girl is supposed to be pampered and the center of attention, and yet, here you are, outside, alone and sad.” the man spoke seriously, with his usual light glint. “How much did they pay you?” I muttered, lighting another cigarette, realising that the other one burn without taking another drag of it. “Hmmm? What do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “I’m tipsy, not stupid. You think I can’t think rationally after 8 shots? You’re dead wrong. Now, tell me, how much did they pay you and what exactly did they tell you to do?” I asked in a pressed tone, side-eyeing him. “You’re certainly perceptive, I give you that. T’was quite a lot of money to spend the night with you.” he tilted his head in a playful way. “Not only they have no faith in me to get someone to even remotely like me...They have to pay someone to do something that I dread with a burning passion. Do you even know my name? I don’t know yours.” I shrugged, hanging my head, gritting my teeth in annoyance. “I see your friends screwed up a bit. Name’s Worick, nice to meet you.” he extended his hand towards me. “...Y/N. Nice to meet you too...I think.” I sighed, staring reluctantly at his hand, before slowly shaking it. “Pretty name for a pretty girl. Wanna talk to a guy you’ll never see again? I heard that venting and letting out pent up emotions helps.” he offered, making me look at him with a weird face. “You know you’re not gonna get any action, so you try to do something for the money you earned, huh?” I snorted, raking my fingers through my hair. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. Contrary to my profession, I’m a pretty chill guy. What do you have to lose, talking to someone you’ll never see again? And besides, I have little room to judge you, so if that’s your worry, you can throw it away.” he lit up a cigarette, puffing up into the sky. “You’re...Not wrong here. Okay, fine, Pretty Boy. Imagine this. You’re not even of age, you get your first lover and you’re happy. You finally feel superior. Someone gives a fuck about you...That’s the definition of a lover, after all, I guess...But here’s the deal. Barely one month into the relationship, the person starts getting very pushy and pressures you, without you realising. Words and actions. It goes to the point that they force you to do things that you don’t want to and you’re not ready to, mentally or physically...And you can’t do anything except for denying, since they don’t listen and they overpower you. How is that, so far?” I spoke, taking a few breaks in between sentences to keep myself grounded and lucid. “Very suckish. Does any of your friends know that?” Worick asked in a gentle voice. “They do...My two best friends do. The ones who apparently paid you. I don’t know what’s in those tiny brains of theirs, but I don’t think a one night stand is going to somehow magically get me rid of all problems, traumas, self-issues and nightmares I’ve been having for the last years. Or maybe I’m just paranoid. I don’t know, and at this point, I can’t stay that I care.” I shrugged, leaning back on the stairs. “Maybe you have the wrongs friends. I heard words about you that I don’t think friends should speak like that about their so called best friend who trusted them enough with their bad experiences.” he pointed out nonchalantly, as I shifted my gaze towards him with a frown. “After today...I...Think the same. I...Just...Wasn’t expecting something like this. What more can I say. I am disappointed. And if that wasn’t enough, my second boyfriend, who was a virgin, saw my own virginity as a prize. And the third pity-dated me. Can it get any worse? Because, if yes, I honestly give up.” I sighed, ruffling my hair, obviously done with life. “Life sure sucks, huh? And most people don’t make it any better. All we can do is get stronger, carry on, and fight our nightmares.” he nodded in agreement, clearly sympathetic. “...I see you’re speaking from experience. I wonder what happened to your eye...It may sound insensitive, but after what I just told you, I don’t think there’s any more need for caution.” I smirked at him with a dark sort of self-deprecation that I could also sense in him. “Well, y’know...Sometimes parents aren’t the safe haven they ought to be.” he shrugged, extinguishing the finished cigarette on the stairs. “I see. Yeah, life sucks. I guess I can see why you become a Gigolo. An attractive guy selling his body for money...By what they said, you are the most popular. I can see why. I feel sorry for you.” I gave him a sympathetic smile that disappeared as fast as it came. “You have a pretty smile, y’know? I always thought that people who can smile despite all they’ve been through are the strongest.” he commented, smiling back. “Is that why you appear to be so cheerful? You’re strong, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too? Wish I was the same. Maybe people won’t find me such an easy target to take advantage of.” I snorted sarcastically, making him chuckle. “It’s a pity people are shit to the few remaining ones who don’t give in to society’s awfulness. But what is a sweet girl like you doing in a shithole like Ergastulum? Doesn’t quite add up.” he asked, getting in a better sitting position. “Life happened. Dad left us, and mum is abroad working to get me enough money to go to university by the end of this year. This place, despite how scary and dangerous it is, was the cheapest place I could afford.” I bit my lip, trying not to worry too much about the future. “I’m sure you’re gonna nail it, so don’t worry too much. You seem like a smart girl, so just study hard and don’t forget to enjoy life. By your standards, not others’.” he smirked, tilting his head towards the door. “You’re funny, Worick. I wish we met under different circumstances.” my voice became lower, only to get interrupted by the door slamming open and the girls leaving the place. “Well, look at you two, lovebirds! You look so cuuuuuuuute! Hey, Gigolo, better take good care of her, got it?! The night is still young for you two! Awesome birthday party, as usual, Y/N, see ya next time!” the girls left, making me blush from embarassment, looking away. “You’ve got very sensible friends.” he muttered ironically, shaking his head. “I’ll...Go tidy the apartment. Maybe I’ll be able to focus on something else. Come one, I’ll warm up some pizza.” I shrugged, getting inside the house. “I didn’t think you’d want me around in your home.” Worick pointed out, leaning on a wall. “You got paid to spend the night with me, correct? Then you’ll do what you got paid for. Keeping me company. You have no idea how refreshing it is talking to someone with some fucking brain in their head.” I plopped down on the couch, putting my feet on the table, turning on the TV to a rock music program and patting the seat next to me for him to join. “It’s an honour to spend time with you.” he chuckled, taking a slice of pizza, leaning back on the couch and mimicking my position.

For the rest of the night, he was gracious enough to help me tidy up and clean everything, and when we were finally done, I went to change in my nightgown, taking a book and getting in bed, only to see the man leaning on the frame of the door awkwardly.

“Ah, yes, how could I forget. Let me find some larger clothes for you to change into.” I put the book down, going to the wardrobe and finding some oversized clothes in which I sometimes sleep. “Are these yours?” he chuckled in amusement. “Yep.Gotta be comfy when you sleep, right?” I shrugged, getting back in bed. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s why I sleep naked.” his grin grew wider, making me frown in confusion. “Sleeping naked is comfy for you?” I put the book on my lap, looking at him for an answer. “Did you try?” he asked smugly. “Yeah. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and anxious the for hours and couldn’t sleep. At 4 AM I couldn’t stand it any longer and I put a nightgown on.” I scratched my cheek, looking away. “That’s adorable. What were you reading?” he asked, getting closer to me. “Get changed and you can come over. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch. You got paid, you deserve better.” I waved my hand at him dismissively, only for him to leave the room, get changed, take the book from my hand, flip through all the pages, and return it. “Ah, Picture of Dorian Gray. I’ve been wanting to read it for a while, thanks for the opportunity, I have to say, I rather appreciate his monologues.” he gave me a shit-eating grin, plopping in bed next to me. “I...You...Huh?! You can’t tell me you just read THIS book, right now, for the first time in your life, by just flipping rapidly through the pages!” my expression was that of pure shock and disbelief, which clearly amused him. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, sweet cheeks.” he smirked, laying his head down on the pillow. “You...You have an extraordinary visual memory?!” I asked in a voice that I wasn’t sure was heard. “You’ve got that right, darling.” he chuckled with a satisfied smile. “...WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE?! YOU ARE A GENIUS! YOU COULD DO SO MUCH MORE WITH YOUR LIFE! EARN AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY! DO YOU HAVE NO AMBITION AND SAFE-LOVE?!” I grab him by the shoulders, shaking him, until he stopped me. “Calm doooown, Y/N, calm down. Thanks for looking out for me, but life is life. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got all I need here. You, however, have the whole life ahead of you, so don’t waste it like I did.” he advised in a soft voice, making me look at him for a few seconds, before sighing, getting up, and picking another book. “We won’t be seeing each other again, will we? Well, if that’s the case, take this. It’s a thanks for being nice to me today...But promise me you will take your time reading it, unlike now. Rest, relax, drink a hot cup of tea, and read each page carefully. Enjoy it, live it, feel it. Can you promise me that?” I asked, handing him the book. “The Hobbit, huh? Pretty cover, intriguing summary on the back...Fine, Y/N. I can’t 100% promise you, but I will try. Are you really willing to part with this one? It seems special for you.” he asked, more serious this time. “...Maybe sometimes the stupid ideas that your heart gives you are better than the rational ones from your brain. Now go sleep, I want to read.” I looked away from him, opening my book and pretending to read, away from him.

Five minutes passed, then ten, and fifteen, all of them in a deadly silence, almost awkward, until a chuckle split the atmosphere, making me turn around, looking at the man with a confused look.

“Usually, when people read, they turn the page after five minutes. What’s on your mind?” he asked, taking a strand of my hair and loosely twirling it with his finger. “..Well...You’re a stranger. And...We’ve only talked for a few hours. I know it makes no sense to ask this of you, but...I won’t be seeing you tomorrow anyway, so...Uhm...Do you think...I'm...Cold and mean...And unapproachable?” I mutter, looking away from him. “Not at all. I find you very endearing. The quiet ones are always the ones who have the best surprises once you get to know them. People deal with problems differently, it just takes the right person to want to understand you.” he kissed the strand of hair, making me bite my lip and turn off the lap light so my possibly pink cheeks won’t be noticeable. “Great. Thanks for the info. Now...How about you earn the money you got paid? You can do that by holding me and playing with my hair until I fall asleep.” I try to keep my voice from wavering. “You don’t have to put that pretext as a front, I would do that even if I wasn’t paid.” he chuckled lightly, holding me close to his chest, his fingers masterfully soothing my senses as he caressed by hair. “...Thanks.” I muttered, hiding my flustered face in his chest. “I have insomnia and general sleeping problems, including sleep paralysis and nightmares...And the only thing that used to be able to put me to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night would be mum holding me and playing with my hair until I fell asleep.” I confessed, my voice becoming softer and more emotional. “Thank you for trusting me with this precious memory, Y/N. It’s going to be okay. Now close your eyes...Sweet dreams, Y/N.” his peaceful, velvety voice was the last thing I heard before falling into a restful and calm sleep, for the first time in ages.

When morning came and I woke up, the bed was empty on the side that Worick was and I almost feared I imagined the whole thing...Until I noticed a piece of paper on the pillow where he slept.

“You’re a beautiful person, don’t let the darkness take over you. I hope to hear from you again, in the future, under better circumstances. ~ Worick”

To that, a phone number was written, and the first thing that came into my mind was to get that it tattooed on my body so I won’t lose it. Of course, that will never happen, so I’ll settle for writing it everywhere I can.

For some reason, I wanted to make him proud, and I still had no idea why, so I only called him once a year, on my birthday, and on that day, we would chat on the phone all night, in memory of that night. Finally leaving Ergastulum to go to University and get a better life for myself was something revolutionary for me, but after over 6 years, I managed to do just that. However, there was something that never left my brain, and that was the platinum haired man that completely changed the way I viewed life and how to approach it.

And I returned to Ergastulum after almost a decade.

I was dressed in a cute dress, and this time, unlike last time, a confident smile was on my face. Even though it’s fake, I adopted the “Fake it till you make it” motto, and nobody has to know about my problems.

I vibe.

Asking around for Worick, I find out he works as the Benriya with another man called Nicolas, who’s a tag, and even better, I got his address, so I knew just where to go.

As I entered the shabby apartment that was, for some reason, unlocked, I see a meek looking woman sitting on the couch, looking down.

“Did Worick get a girlfriend?” I leaned on the wall, a playful smirk on my face. “Wh-What?! G-Girlfriend?! W-Wait, who are you?!” she shot up to her feet, looking at me with big, blue doe eyes, frightened, might I say. “You’re adorable. What’s your name? And can I ask where Worick is? I’ve been told this is where he lives.” I played with a strand of my hair, trying not to intimidate the girl...Too much. “U-Uhm...He...He’s in his room...Who are you, miss?” she asked, trying to get some courage. “A friend, I’d like to think. From about ten years ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me...” I was ready to go look for him, only for a door to open, and the man in cause to appear, wearing only black boxers, and stretching...He obviously just woke up. “Ally? What’s all the noise?” he yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes. “Do you have a cute nickname for me too, Worick?” I smirked at him, as he widened his single eye, his jaw dropping in shock. “Y/N...?” he muttered my name, making me grin widely. “Glad you remember me. It has been quite a while since we’ve seen each other...And you age like fine wine, I’m telling you...You’re a sight for sore eyes.” he chuckled softly, only for him to come and pick me up, spinning a bit, before putting me down, cupping my face and kissing my forehead, leaving me a surprised and flustered mess. “And look at you! Can you get prettier than this? I told ya, you have a beautiful smile!” he grinned childishly, pinching my cheeks, making me yelp in pain and slap his hands away. “Jerk! That hurts! Ahem...Anyway, dear Gigolo, how are you? I heard some stuff about you working with someone named Nicolas...But I doubt her name is Nicolas.” I chuckled, pushing him softly away. “Oh, yes! Y/N, this is Alex, our new friend. You can say she’s kinda...Our secretary? I guess? Anyway, come over, we have a lot to catch up on!” he guided me to his bedroom that was, unsurprisingly, messy. “Wonderful and clean, just as expected. Have you ever thought of opening the window?” I teased him, plopping on his bed that was unexpectedly soft. “You, lazy little vixen...Here. I bought it years ago, after finishing the book you gave me, and I wanted to find out more. Now, I’m giving it to you. Are we even?” he smirked, handing me a copy of Fellowship of the Ring book. “We’d be even if I’d spend the night over as well. And if you gave me drinks and pizza. Basically a date. That will do.” I told him, looking dearly at the book I got gifted, although I already read it before. “My God, since when are you so bold?” he asked, getting on the bed, resting his chin on my knees, looking at me like a happy puppy. “Did you miss me, Worick? I hope you did, otherwise that little piece of paper you left would be incredibly disappointing and misleading.” I pointed out, booping his nose. “I’ve been thinking about you since then. By the looks of it, so did you. Are you sure you want a date with someone like me? You are beautiful, you are brilliant, your attitude in endearing as hell...And I’m still a Gigolo and my life is here, in Ergastulum. Don’t regret it later on.” he asked with a more serious tone, only for me to scoff and pull on his hair playfully. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Besides...Unlike you, I don’t need to be paid to spend quality time with you, doing nothing but chilling and chatting.” I teased him, making him laugh, as he plopped next to me, poking my cheek. “Great, problem solved! You’ve got yourself a parasite latching on you. Good luck getting rid of him now.” he grinned cheekily, only for me to cup his face and pull him into a kiss. “Why would I wanna get rid of a parasite this cute? Now shut up and hold me, it’s been ten years and I’m touch starved.” I grinned, nuzzling in the crook of his neck. “Damn, how I missed you.” he held me tightly to his chest, occasionally peppering my face with kisses.

It was definitely worth coming back to this God Forsaken place, even if it is for only one person. There’s place for everyone in this world, and in others’ hearts, and I found my place, in Worick’s warm arms, where I feel safest and most loved.

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softlass27 · 4 years

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yes, ya girl accidentally turned what was meant to be a short, fluffy prompt into 4000 words and ended up having to post it a day late. what can you do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kind of a continuation of my “end of chaddy” ficlet from last week, but you don’t need to have read that to follow this one. as long as you’re aware of the hoped-for chas/al affair :)

Flufftober day 3 – But you said

AO3 link here

“So uh… ” Aaron sidles up to Robert while he’s cooking tea, snaking both arms around his waist. “You remember how you love me?”

Robert drops his knife on the chopping board and twists around to stare down at his husband, suspicions already raised. “Yes… it rings a bell. Why?”

“No reason,” Aaron blinks up at him with a innocent look that’s not dissimilar to the one Seb gives them when he’s been caught eating a biscuit before mealtime. “Just… remember that, okay?”

“What’ve you done?”

“It’s nothin’ bad! Except… I sort of… toldPaddyhecouldstaywithus.”

“Excuse me?” Aaron’s already starting to make his escape, but Robert grabs him by the arm and pulls him back. “Oh no, you don’t. You told Paddy he could what?”

“It won’t be for long.”

“I agree, it won’t be any time at all. Because it’s not happening.”

“Look, he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Marlon has a full house, there’s no room for him there.”

“Not my problem.” Robert can genuinely, sincerely, think of nothing worse than having Paddy Kirk for a houseguest. He only just got rid of Cain, for Christ’s sake. “Why’s he moved out anyway? Your mum’s the one who slept with someone else, isn’t the cheater the one who’s supposed to get kicked out?”

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “You’d rather live with my mother, then?”

“No thanks, I already did my time.”

“No need to make it sound like it was a prison sentence,” Aaron fires back with a roll of his eyes. There’s no response Robert can offer that won’t end with him sleeping on the sofa, so he keeps his mouth shut. “Mum has to stay in the pub, it’s where she works. And to be honest, I don’t think Paddy ever really liked living there, he didn’t want to stay.”

“And now he’s got his sights set on our place, does he?”

“Only for a few days!” Aaron says quickly. “Just until he gets himself sorted and finds somewhere more permanent. Look, he took me in when no one else would, the least I can do is return the favour for a couple of nights. Please? For me?”

Robert sighs and takes a moment to contemplate the things he does for the sake of his marriage.

“Fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “A few days.”

Aaron’s face lights up and he pecks him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“When’s he coming, then?”

“In about… ” Aaron glances at the clock. “Five minutes?”

“Wha – five minutes, are you kidding me? Aaron, get back here. Aaron!”

Day One. It’s been just over twelve hours and Robert’s at the end of his tether.

The man sitting across from him at the kitchen table slurps his tea disgustingly loudly, chewing with his mouth open and getting toast crumbs all over himself and the table. Robert’s three-year-old has better table manners.

“So, you and me?” He says to Aaron with his mouth full, grinning widely, no sign of his misery from the night before. “Roomies again, eh?”

His high-pitched giggle makes Robert miss Cain. At least he’d had the decency not to talk during breakfast. Or at all, really.

Aaron gives him a fond look from where he’s buttering his own toast (Robert’s fresh sourdough loaf is going to be gone by tomorrow, he just knows it) and nods. “Just like the old days.”

“Until you get your own place sorted, of course,” Robert says loudly from behind his newspaper, an outwardly pleasant smile plastered across his face. “How’s that going, by the way? Making time for flat viewings in between your appointments with pregnant cows?”

The grin drops from Paddy’s face and he fixes Robert with the same scowl he’s been levelling at him for the past six years.

“Haven’t found anywhere yet,” he mutters moodily.

“But there’s no rush,” Aaron’s quick to add, sitting at the table next to him. “You’ve been through a lot these last few days, you can stay as long as you need.”

Paddy nods morosely, face like a wet weekend. “I just… I can’t believe she – that this has happened. I thought – I just didn’t see – see it coming.”

Funny, Robert saw it coming a mile off.

“Me neither,” Aaron pats Paddy’s arm, already shooting Robert a look that clearly says don’t you dare.

And just like that, Paddy’s taking off his glasses and blubbering into his napkin, like he had been for most of last night. Rambling on and on about shock and betrayal and how he just doesn’t know how he’s meant to get through this.

“Well,” Robert closes his newspaper. “How did you get through it the last time she cheated on you?”

Paddy is stunned into silence. He gapes at Robert like a fish, face torn between shock and outrage.

“Don’t you need to be getting to work now, Rob?” Aaron asks, exasperation radiating off him in waves.

“Suppose so.” He leans over to plant a kiss on Aaron’s lips, trying hard to ignore the pitiful sniffling next to him. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. See you in a bit.”

No sooner is Robert in the car, he gets a text from Aaron.

You’re a menace.

He chuckles and set off for work.

“Please tell me you’re not here for food,” Victoria begs when Robert turns up at the pub later that day. “Marlon’s decided that since Chas has A – cheated on his best mate, and B – slept with the man who ruined his marriage to Jessie, he doesn’t want to see her right now. Which means he’s not coming into work, which means that muggins here is now stuck holding the fort in the kitchen all day.”

She throws her hands in the air in frustration, face sweaty and chef’s hat askew, and any inclination Robert had had to ask for some chips quickly vanishes.

“No ta, just came for a drink.”

“Oh, thank God. Right, can’t stop, too many pies to make.” Without further ado, she turns on her heel and scurries back towards the kitchen.

“Stellar customer service skill as always, Vic!” Robert calls after her, just as Chas herself appears in her place. “Chastity,” Robert smiles and rests his elbows on the bar.

His mother-in-law watches him warily. People have been sending filthy looks and snide comments her way all week (Priya and the Sharmas have more friends and influence in the village than she could ever dream of), so she’s somewhat on edge.

“What can I get you?”

“Just a pint, please?”

She nods shortly and grabs a glass.

“So… how’s Al?”

Chas stops pulling the pint, tired and baggy eyes narrowing at him. “Excuse me?”

“Just making conversation.”

“Well, I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Understood.”

She huffs and continues filling his glass in silence.

“So should Aaron and I put his name on your Christmas card this year or – ?”

Chas slams the pint down and storms into the back, leaving a smirking Charity to take his money.

“You’re a brave man, Robert Sugden,” Moira grins from where she’s perched further down the bar.

“It’s because of her that I’m stuck with Paddy snoring in my spare room, I’m beyond caring.” He takes a gulp of his pint and heads in her direction. “Besides, I’ve gotta get my kicks from somewhere. Chas Dingle making a mistake like the rest of us mere mortals, I couldn’t resist.”

He can’t pretend he isn’t enjoying everyone getting a stark reminder of just how much of a hypocrite Aaron’s mum can be – he’s had to deal with it since the day he and Aaron got together – longer, even. She may act civil enough for her son’s sake, but Robert knows that Chas has never quite trusted him – not even after they got married properly – and that she was always looking for an excuse to use his past against him. Never mind all the wrong she’d done and the hurt she’d caused people over the years.

“Ah well, can’t say I blame you,” Moira’s smile dims into something more contemplative. “After all the grief she gave me for what happened with Cain last year, I’m tempted to get a small dig in myself.”

Christ, at least Robert's not the only one. How many times has someone in the village had to hear Chas Dingle gleefully whip out her classic mantra from behind the bar? Once a cheat, always a cheat.

Moira shakes her head, face brightening as she holds out her glass. “Well, here’s to us mere mortals, then.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Robert clinks his glass to hers. “Cheers.”

“House rules.”

On Day Two, Robert slaps a piece of paper down in front of Paddy, startling him so badly he nearly drops his phone.

“S-sorry what?”

“House rules. For you to follow while you’re staying here.”

Paddy picks it up tentatively. “It’s… laminated.”

“It’s Rob’s latest toy at work, don’t question it,” Aaron scoffs from the sofa. “He laminated our shopping list last week.”

“Take the recycling out on Tuesdays… don’t touch Robert’s coffee pods…no talking to Aaron while Top Gear’s on… only ten minutes in the bathroom?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“B-but you two have an en-suite! I’m the only one using the bathroom, why does it matter how long I take?”

“The rules are there to be followed, not questioned.”

“But – ”

“Do you want our rent-free spare bedroom or not?”

“…Yes.”

“Well then.”

“So then I told the bloke,” Aaron says from his perch on the kitchen counter, banging his feet against the cupboard. “He bloody well take what was agreed in the contract, or I’m gonna tell every scrap contact I know to never work with him again. He changed his tune pretty quickly after that.”

“Absolutely ruthless, I’m so proud,” Robert grins, before whacking Aaron’s leg with the wooden spoon in his hand. “Stop that.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but brings his swinging feet to a stop. “What’re we havin’ for tea, then?”

“Stir fry do you?”

“Mmm, yeah. With… ” Aaron picks up a packet of quinoa, frowning at the label. “Kwin-oh?”

Robert stares at him. “I think the word you’re looking for is quinoa.”

“Whatever, it’s a daft spelling.”

Robert plucks the packet out of his grasp. “You’re lucky you’re fit.”

“You’re lucky I have a thing for pretentious arseholes.”

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?”

“Mmhm.”

Aaron moves half a second before Robert does, flying off the counter and dashing away just as Robert makes a grab for him. He chases his child of a husband around the kitchen a few times, knocking into the chairs and sending a bag of peppers careering to the floor before he manages to get hold of him.

“Rob, no, don’t!” Aaron cackles as Robert’s fingers dig into his ribs, tickling him mercilessly. “Stop, stop it, I’m sorry, stoooppp!”

They both laughing so loudly, they almost miss the awkward cough that comes from the living room. Robert moves his hands from Aaron’s sides to rest on the small of his back, as they turn their heads to see Paddy watching them uncomfortably from the sofa.

Honestly, Robert had forgotten he was there.

“Alright, Paddy?” Aaron asks breathlessly, hands travelling up Robert’s chest to rest on his shoulders.

“Fine,” Paddy says shortly, still watching them with a mixture of annoyance, discomfort and… something else that Robert can’t quite put his finger on. He’s not sure he likes it. “Just… ” he wafts a hand in the direction of his laptop. “Trying to find a solicitor so I can sort out access to Evie. Could do with a bit of peace and quiet.”

“Well it’s very quiet in the spare room,” Robert offers, wincing when Aaron pinches the side of his neck.

“Ignore him, Paddy. Sorry, we’ll keep the noise down, let you concentrate.”

“No, actually I think I will go up to my room,” Paddy gathers his things and heads for the stairs. “Would rather be on my own anyway.”

As soon as he’s out of sight, Aaron rolls his eyes at Robert.

“I know he’s a bit of a pain, but would it kill you to cut him some slack?”

“Er, we shouldn’t have to ‘keep the noise down’ in our own house. It’s not like you’re still a teenager, Aaron!”

Aaron quirks a half-smile at him. “Dunno, might be sort of fun. Waiting ’til the grownups are gone so we don’t get caught, sneaking out later so we can be alone.”

“Oh yeah?” Robert raises an eyebrow. “The teenage romance thing doing it for you, is it?”

“Well it’s not like I got to do much of it the first time around, what with, y’know, not being out.” Aaron leans in to whisper in Robert’s ear. “Fancy goin’ for a snog at the cricket pavilion after tea?”

Robert shivers and turns to nuzzle at Aaron’s neck. “Make it a hand job and you’re on.”

That unreadable look that Paddy had given them, the one that had put Robert on edge, keeps making a reappearance.

It happens when Robert flops down on top of Aaron where he’s stretched out on the sofa, bumping his head against Aaron’s chest until he starts running slow fingers through his hair. They stay curled up together like that for the rest of the night while they watch TV, and more than once, Robert spots Paddy out of the corner of his eye. Just… staring at them with his brow furrowed, mouth twisting with displeasure. He almost looks... angry?

He does it again when Robert presses Aaron’s morning coffee into his hands with a warm kiss, and again when they talk excitedly about all the stuff they’re planning to do with Seb when he next comes to stay, and again basically every time they show the slightest bit of affection to each other.

“Oh, did you manage sort out the electricity bill yesterday?” Robert asks Aaron on the morning of Day Four.

Aaron opens his mouth to answer, but Paddy’s incredulous scoff cuts him off.

Robert blinks at him. “Something funny?”

“No, it’s just… Aaron doing the bills?” That high-pitched laugh of his returns, this time accompanied by a series of snorts. “There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear.”

“Why not?”

“Well… it’s not really your thing, is it Aaron?”

“Pretty sure dealing with bills is something most adults are capable of dealing with,” Robert says, eyebrows raised.

“What, you think I just make Rob sort out everything for me?” Aaron adds with a slightly bemused laugh.

The mirth in Paddy’s eyes has dimmed rapidly, his giggling taking a more nervous turn. “No, that’s not – I mean – I’ve just never seen it, I suppose. You never had much interest in that side of things when you lived with me.”

“When I was 18?” Aaron’s brow crinkles in confusion. “I think I’ve grown up a bit since then, Paddy.”

“Oh, you definitely have,” Robert murmurs with a wink, snickering when Aaron whacks him on the arm. “So, electricity bill?”

“Yeah, I finally managed to speak to an actual human on the phone, for once. Got ’im to refund all of the money they overcharged us.”

“Brilliant, can finally tick that off the to-do list.” Robert kisses him lightly. “My hero.”

Aaron snorts. “Alright, soft lad.”

There’s that odd look again, Robert can just sense it. He doesn’t know what Paddy’s problem is but he doesn’t care, not really. Not when he’ll be out of their hair sooner rather than later.

It all comes to a head on Day Six. Frankly, Robert’s amazed they made it almost a whole week without someone snapping.

It’s early evening, Robert washing the dishes and humming along to the radio while he waits for Aaron to bring a takeaway home. Paddy sits at the kitchen table, sausage-like fingers bashing at the keyboard so slowly it’s making Robert’s eye twitch.

There’s a loud sigh from behind him, shortly followed by some frustrated whispering. Followed by another, louder, sigh.

Robert grits his teeth.“Something wrong?”

“The flat I was meant to be viewing tomorrow, someone’s just flippin’ taken it.”

“Ah. Well, something will turn up soon.” Please let it turn up soon.

“This isn’t fair,” Paddy mutters a moment later, bitterness dripping from every word as he slams the laptop closed. “I’m the injured party here, why should I have to be the one who ends up homeless?”

“Didn’t think you’d want to stay at the pub, Aaron said you were never keen on it.”

“I’m not,” Paddy snaps. “But it’s the principle of it!”

“Ah, the principle. Of course, what was I thinking?” It wasn’t so long ago that Paddy’s principles had very nearly screwed up Johnny’s adoption for Vanessa and Charity. Robert hadn’t forgotten.

“You know what, Sugden?” Robert wipes his hands on a dishcloth and turns to see Paddy looking at him with narrowed eyes. “I have had just about enough of you and your attitude.”

Christ, it’s like living on the farm again.

“Well if you don’t like it, you know where the door is.”

“Oh, I bet you’d just love that. Although if I wasn't forced to be here, then you wouldn’t be able to rub it in my face anymore, would you?”

Robert stares at him, baffled. He turns off the radio. “…You’ve lost me. Rub what in your face?”

“Oh, come on, you think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

“Paddy, I genuinely have no idea what you’re on about.”

“You!” Paddy jerks to his feet, shoving his chair back so hard it almost tips over. “You, showing off all the time, shoving it in my face like you’re trying to prove that you’re this perfect, loved-up couple when I’ve lost – when I’m going through… ”

Robert can honestly say he’s never met a man as pathetic as the one stood on front of him.

“Is that what the funny looks have been about?” His jaw nearly drops when Paddy just glares, confirming his suspicions. “So what, you’re just… I don’t know, jealous that Aaron and I have a good relationship while yours has crashed and burned – ”

“Jealous?!” Paddy splutters, his words angry and halting. “Of you? Don’t you – acting as if you’re better – don’t you dare look down on me and my relationship with Chas.”

“What, like you’ve looked down on me all these years?”

“That’s different, entirely different.”

“Oh yeah?” Robert sneers, Paddy’s sheer audacity ruffling his feathers. “How’s that, then?”

“Because you – you're Mr Shifty. Doesn’t matter how hard you try with the ‘nice guy’ act, you always have been and you always will be,” Paddy snarls, teeth bared. “And fine, maybe you and Aaron are happy now, but relationships are hard work, even strong ones can fall apart just like that. You don’t know anything about my relationship! When you’ve been through something like what Chas and I have, losing a child – you have no idea.”

“No, I don’t. I can’t imagine. But that doesn’t give you the right to have a go at me and accuse me of all sorts in my own house.”

“It does when what I’m saying is true. And I’m not about to sit here and listen to a lecture from another cheater like you.” Paddy smirks nastily, folding his arms triumphant. “If there’s one thing I’ve learnt these last few days, is that those sorts of people don’t change, not really.”

“Is this the moment where I bring up Tess, or…?”

And that, apparently, is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“How dare you?” Paddy hisses, apoplectic with rage. “Standing there on your high horse, like you think we’ve all just forgotten what you are. Well, maybe other people have, but I definitely haven’t.”

He jabs a vicious finger in Robert’s direction.

“You’re the same smug, arrogant piece of scum you always were, and eventually Aaron will see that for himself," his voices raises to a shout, spit flying from his mouth. “Maybe things between the two of you are fine now, but they won’t be forever. It’s only a matter of time before you’ll screw up again, just like you always do, and the wool will fall from his eyes. He’ll figure out that he can do better than you.”

“Will I, now?”

There’s a long, ringing silence, and Robert and Paddy both turn to see Aaron standing in the living room, coat and shoes still on and a takeaway bag dangling from his hand. The look in his eyes is as dark as thunder.

“A-aaron I – ” Paddy stammers, face paling. "I wasn’t… ”

“You weren’t what? Havin' a go at my husband and slagging off my marriage behind my back?”

“I – that wasn’t what I was trying to do – ”

“No? Because it definitely sounded like it.” Aaron tosses the takeaway bag on the coffee table. “So what, Paddy, not only do you think I’m rubbing my marriage if your face, you also think I’m trapped in a relationship with some master manipulator and I’m just too thick to notice?”

“No!” Paddy lurches towards him, stopping in his tracks when Aaron takes a swift step back. “No, of c-course not, I meant him, not you. I just – Aaron, he started it! He was winding me up!”

“I’m sure he was,” Aaron looks at Robert and his glare briefly softens into fond irritation, before his gaze snaps back to Paddy. “But that’s no excuse to say any of what you just did. Can you blame Robert for havin’ a go sometimes when you treat him like that?”

“I’m just – I’m just looking out for you.”

“That’s not what that was,” Aaron purses his lips together before sighing, hands on his hips. “You know what, Paddy, I think you’d better find somewhere else to stay from now on. The B&B probably has a room free.”

“What?” Paddy gapes at him, shocked. “Aaron please, I’m sorry, I won’t say anything else, I swear – ”

“No,” Aaron cuts him off. “Seb’s coming tomorrow, and I don’t really want him around this sort of atmosphere. It was gonna be a bit cramped with the four of us anyway.”

“But – but you said I could stay as long as I want.”

“I did, but that was before you threw my hospitality back in my face. Besides, if it’s so hard to watch me and Robert be happy together, then the Mill definitely isn’t the place for you.”

Paddy gawks at him for a moment, before scowling and trying a different tack. “So that’s it, you’re taking his side over mine?”

He gestures to Robert without actually looking at him. Robert would be offended if he wasn’t feeling so smug right now.

“He is my husband, and I'll thank you to remember that,” Aaron all but growls, not giving an inch, and Robert feels something warm swoop through his chest. “Now pack your stuff and get out, before I say something I regret.”

Paddy’s shoulders slump, as it clearly hits him that no amount of begging or guilt-tripping is going to work in his favour. “Fine.”

He lumbers up the stairs, leaving Robert and Aaron alone. They gravitate towards each other, meeting next the sofa.

“I’m sorry he said all that stuff, it wasn’t okay,” Aaron murmurs, thumbs stroking gently over Robert’s forearms.

“S’alright,” Robert dips his head, shooting him a slightly lopsided smile. “It’s not like I haven’t heard worse from him, I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be,” Aaron frowns unhappily. “I didn’t think he still felt that way about you – about us. Not anymore.”

There’s nothing Robert can really say to make it better, so he settles for pressing a soft kiss to Aaron’s forehead. Eventually, Aaron tips his head back to look him in the eye.

“Well, all that stops now,” he says firmly, face full of resolve. “I’m not havin’ it.”

They stay pressed together until Paddy reappears with his bags, mouth downturned.

“I’ll be off, then… ” He stares at Aaron, most likely waiting for him to say something, to tell him he’s sorry and he’s changed his mind. “See if I can find somewhere to sleep tonight.”

“Right, good luck with that,” is all Aaron says, jaw set and arms folded. “Can see yourself out, can’t you?”

Paddy blinks, before looking down at the floor and nodding. He trudges out the door, leaving not with a bang, but a whimper.

There’s a brief silence, before Aaron moves to pick up the takeaway bag and gives Robert a small smile. “So… curry?”

Later that night, as Robert walks along the landing, he pauses outside the spare bedroom. He pokes his head in and flicks on the light, grinning at the blissfully empty space. Not a single relative in sight.

“Rob!” Aaron calls from their bedroom. “You comin’ to bed anytime soon or do I have to start without you?”

“Coming!”

Robert flicks off the light and closes the door.

#this is the most self-indulgent thing i have ever written #i've said that before but i MEAN it this time #it's paddy-hating hours in this house #robron #my writing #flufftober2020 #anti-chaddy

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travellvogue · 4 years

Text

A Modern Day Romance- Jadon Sancho

thank you anon for the idea, sorry for making you wait so long, hopefully 2.3k words of smut can make up for it ;)

“Absolutely not” you scoff at the suggestion, scuffing your feet against the cream carpet in the office, an odd choice, you’d have expected dark oak floors to match the furniture, but it made sense to have an office that was a mess when you were dealing with a boy who was equally as big of a mess.

“It’ll only be for six months, then we’ll fake the breakup, and you can both move on with your lives” you can’t quite believe what you’re hearing, the whole idea of being part of a fake relationship to paint a perfect picture for the other person was ridiculous to you. You thought this only happened in One Direction Wattpad fanfictions you’d read as a pre-teen, who knows maybe they’ll ask your mum to sell you off for his sexual benefits as well.

You’ve never liked him, never have, certainly never will. He oozes a charm that was so artificial it made your whole body tingle with disgust.

You sit and think, the silence letting your mind walk down the paths of every outcome and opportunity, admittedly the idea of even breathing the same air made your stomach turn, but if you were to benefit from it then maybe you could comprise. “Pay me” you simply shrug, head tilting to the side as you watch their reactions, in shock that they were shocked by your demand. “What?- Did you expect me to be his bloody sex therapist for free?” you laugh at the idea of them expecting you to do it out of the kindness of your own heart.

Despite your reluctance, an agreement was reached, your weekly income is one anyone would be happy with. The job however was going to be the task. You’d move into his house this time next week and from there you were stuck for six long months. He had been given your number, you were made aware of that almost straight away, receiving a text from him as soon as you arrived home.

‘Hi girlfriend ;)’

Were you expected to laugh? You could almost taste the sick that had risen to your throat, even reading the word ‘girlfriend’ made you want to rewind the clock and tear up the contract into thousands of tiny pieces, hold up a middle finger and tell them to ‘do one’

Yet here you were, a week later, cardboard boxes of belongings laying around his lavish house, you felt- and quite frankly looked- out of place, this wasn’t where you wanted to be for the next six months, however gorgeous the five bedroom mansion in the middle of London was, this was his home, not yours. It never will be, no matter how many times he teasingly cheers ‘welcome home!!’ this place is simply an office for you.

“Alright… where you planning on sleeping?” he smirks, the question clearly having a deeper meaning, he wanted you in his bed- he didn’t bother to hide that. He considered himself lucky having such a gorgeous girl play pretend girlfriend for him.

“In the spare room, away from you” you spit, his eyebrows raising at your tone. Feisty, he liked it. He’d learnt quickly that you weren’t like the other girls, you didn’t drop to your knees for him at the first sentence he spoke, you walked around the house oozing confidence and independence, something he never knew could be so attractive… and sexy. Letting himself get carried away in the thought of you simply wasn’t allowed, this was business, and unfortunately he can’t mix business with pleasure.

It was a painful first month, he hadn’t changed at all, your job seemed useless once the doors were closed, his image to the public had been shined and polished, but he was still the same Jadon, bringing a different girl home every night, kicking them out flippantly the next morning. Tonight was no different.

You laid awake, wishing you didn’t share a wall with him because it sounded as though it was going to cave in at the rate that his headboard was banging against it. His moans were audible throughout the house… and so were hers, whoever she was. Closing your eyes didn’t help either, the noises too loud to even think of getting some sleep. Instead you find your hand slipping down your body, you knew it was wrong, getting off to the sound of him fucking another girl, but the noise of his grunts and moans had your clit tingling for some attention.

“Fuck good girl” you hear him growl, picturing him on top of you, cock slick with pre-cum as he sinks into you, stretching your walls around his impressive length… you only knew such a detail because he’d left his ensuite door open once, which of course would have to be the day you walked into his bedroom looking for him. The image stays in your brain as you rub vigorously at your clit, hips bucking at the sound of his continuous moans. You let out a moan, loud enough to make you cover your mouth with your spare hand, wishing it was his palm gagging you, the thrill of knowing you really shouldn’t be getting off to the moans of a boy you claimed to hate made your cheeks flush a deep pink. Legs twitching uncontrollably as you approach your high, hearing him reach his own. “Fuck Jadon!” you gasp, the hand that was covering your mouth (and your dignity) now clamping tightly at the bedsheets, body spasming as your orgasm takes over, laying breathless on the bed as you regain a steady heartbeat. the banging of the headboard coming to a stop as you listen to his voice, wondering how you’ll sleep after the embarrassment of getting off to the moans of your enemy.

---

“Morning” you hear a female voice enter the kitchen, you and Jadon already busy yourself, an awkward silence to the room, like the two of you were walking on eggshells around each other. She freezes as she sees you, giving you a look of fright, as though she’d been caught as the mistress in a relationship.

“It’s fine... we’re just friends” you tell her with no sign of sympathy, a coldness to your tone which makes the atmosphere uncomfortable, busying yourself as you make a cup of tea next to Jadon who was making himself some toast, no concern for the stranger who was still in his house. Brushing her off and letting her show herself out of the house, watching him as he gives no second thought to the stranger in his house.

“Friends huh?” you can sense the smugness in the way he butters his toast, smirking down at it as if it had made a joke.

“What else was I meant to tell the poor girl?!” you hiss, the metal spoon clinking furiously against the side of your mug as you stir your tea, “that; I’m hear you ensure he doesn’t bring home girls like you everyday” your tone is high pitched and mockfull. His smirk drops.

“That I’m your little babysitter, cose someone doesn’t know how to treat women with fucking. respect. and. understand. people. want. to. SLEEP''

He stares at you, the silence making you wonder if you should be the one to speak first. Of course in your fluster of temper you were referring to yourself, your sleepless night laid awake staring at a blank ceiling whilst listening to another girl moan his name- only to know her fate in the morning- really had ripped the filter from your mouth- exhaustion meaning you no longer knew how to hold back.

“Alright, chill out” he laughs it off, just like he did with everything else. The same hurt laugh he’d mustered up when his management insisted this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ saga needed to happen to ensure his image was dampened from his teenage boy antics. Truthfully it was a blow to the ego, he thought with such money and fame the world would come easy to him, but you arrived with a collar and lead to put him under control. Admittedly the control was quite sexy, you were powerful, he’d never met a woman like you before- maybe you were what he needed.

Your tea was cold by the time you started drinking it, the bitter taste still somehow burning at your tongue as you realise in the heat of your meltdown you’d forgotten to add your usual teaspoon of sugar.

“Y’know…” you jump at the sound of his voice, expecting him to avoid you for the rest of the day after biting his head off, a droplet of tea splashing onto your hand. Eyes following him intently as he comes to sit on the end of your bed, finger tracing the silver hemming of the mattress. “I didn’t think you’d be so mad at me after last night” he shrugs effortlessly, a confidence in his eyes that makes your stomach tighten. You’re confused as to how you wouldn’t be annoyed, laid awake listening to him bring home another girl, the same routine you’d grown used to after the past few weeks.

“Yeah waking up to another stranger in the house isn’t annoying at all” you spit, kicking your foot under the bed sheets to try and get rid of him. He looks up at you, a smug aura to his stare.

“Didn’t sound too annoyed when you were moaning my name” you freeze, the casual confidence in his voice makes your throat close up, stuck for what to say, how to defend yourself. He’d heard you- the look in his eyes told you he’d heard every, single, thing.

You can feel yourself growing flushed, cheeks burning as an instant reaction, trying to register the embarrassment of the whole situation.

“Bet your cheeks were that red last night as well” he winks, hands pushing the bed covers off your legs, giving him access to trace patterns up and down your skin whilst you watch this intently, not wanting to make any leaps to where you think this might be going. You hardly have time to think, his fingers inching up your legs until they rest at the hem of your pyjama shorts- the ones he has to force himself to peel his eyes away from whenever you wear them because they show the bottom part of your bum which drives him insane. He pauses, looks up at you for consent, watching you nod gently before he pushes his hand under the material, cupping your pussy, feeling a damp patch on your knickers, clearly he’d had more of an effect on you then he’d thought. “Wet for daddy huh?” the nickname doesn’t even faze you, you’d fallen asleep to the sound of him demanding random girls call him name. The sudden thought of him with other girls whilst his hands were in your pants was unsettling, yet you still find yourself whimpering a pathetic ‘please’ while watching him smirk at your desperation. “Tell me” the instructions come effortlessly to him, he’d wanted to be in this position the day you became his ‘girlfriend’.

“Please J, I need you… please” yuor begs and whimpers mean his body is hovering over yours in no time, clothes flung across the room, admiring your naked bodies, his impressive length taking you by surprise, you’d always expected his bragging and confidence was a way of making up for what he lacked in other departments, evidently you were you wrong.

He slipped in effortlessly, your arousal making it easy for him, smirking confidently at the moan you release instantly, craving the sensation of your pussy wrapping around his length. Your nails instantly embed themselves into his shoulder muscles, dragging downwards on their journey to his lower back with each thrust, moans growing louder as your grip on his skin tightens, feeling his throbbing head tap at the perfect spot inside of you, legs growing weak with pleasure, sucking marks into his neck that would make an appearance tomorrow to remind you of the fun you’d had.

“Fuck sake why didn’t we do this sooner” you can’t help but agree with his question, the nights you laid awake listening to his moans wishing it was your name falling from his mouth, his cock in your pussy, his lips on yours. Eventually it was bound to end up like this, you couldn’t even complain, not when he was making you feel this good. The clenching of your tight wet walls around his cock confirmed that. The way his balls would slap against your skin told you he was craving more, desperate to fill you with his cum.

“Make me cum” you spit in the midst of your moans, both of you aware that neither of you could last much longer after the months of pent up sexual frustration.

Moans, sweat, squeals, whimpers. His body stilling and yours jolting in pleasure. Certainly your nails have drawn blood from how hard you gripped hold of him, pussy stuffed with four long spurts of his cum. Breathlessly pulling out of you, watching the view of his seed dripping from your hole. Scooping the remnants up with his index finger, your mouth opening before he’d even moved his hand. “Good girl” he winks, finger placed delicately on your tongue, watching you skillfully suckle on his finger to clean him.

You watched him bounce off you, chest still pumping in and out as he tries to catch his breath, pulling his boxers up to cover himself, t-shirt flung over his shoulder and a sly smirk on his face. Your eyes met for what felt like an eternity, you don’t know whether you were begging him to stay or screaming for him to leave. Your head was clouded with an emotion you’d never felt before.

“See you around” he winks without a second thought. Guess a leopard never changes its spots.

#jadon sancho #jadon sancho imagines #jadon sancho one shot #jadon sancho smut #jadon sancho blurb #masterlist #bvb dortmund #england nt

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angstarella · 5 years

Text

(for you) i will try // Harry Styles Fic Exchange Short Story

A ex-lovers reunion ou where ex’s are ex’s for a reason, weddings are near-on soul destroying and Harry and Indigo together are just a massive cause for disaster ~ 17k

trigger warning: cheating, toxic relationships and alcohol abuse described.

Indigo never predicted she’d be in this predicament – that her entire life could be flipped around in a measly 48 hours.

She never thought she would doubt everything about herself but now she did.

She never thought her career took precedence over her relationship.

She never thought that she would catch her girlfriend of two years cheating on her in their bed.

She never thought betrayal could cause this much pain.

And what may have topped it all, Indi never thought in a million years that she would agree to help Jack and his now–fiancé plan their surprise wedding for them with none other than Gemma’s little pop star of a brother – who was a whole different subject of issues.

All Indigo knew was that she needed a drink and a cigarette – immediately.

i. let’s have a (surprise) wedding

It wasn’t the fact that social gatherings bothered me that put me off being here. It was the fact that it was the first time six years I had been back home. The whole village of Holmes Chapel seemed to be here in Mr and Mrs Twist’s house and all they wanted to know was when I would move back and settle down with a man and have kids with him. It was miserable enough to have those expectations put on you by your own parents, let alone the whole village.

It’s also something nice to hear when you’ve just been dumped by your girlfriend (...well, ex-girlfriend, I suppose) two days ago. I craved nothing more than to rifle through my bag and pull out a pack of Malboro Gold, light up and inhale the ever-calming smoke that put my anxiety to ease. The e-cigarette I bought twenty minutes before leaving London would have to do. There was no way I was going to give my mother another reason to be on my case. Being a bisexual millennial was enough to make my mother to sprout grey hairs. I didn’t need to add being a closeted smoker to her stress list. The best I could do was a flimsy version of a healthy cigarette to keep my nicotine addiction at bay.

The fiery orange skyline settled down into it’s dark violet dusk as I sneaked out to the veranda overlooking the back garden; trying my best to get a moment's peace from the party inside. Strawberry vapour filled my lungs as I dragged from the sleek black pen, wishing nothing more than to smoke whatever the hell I wanted back at my apartment in London.

“I see you still haven’t quit smoking.”

My body tensed as I felt his presence saunter closer. His sweet yet spicy smell seemed to overtake the lasting lingers of vapour. It was infuriating how it hadn’t changed since the last time I had seen him; almost like he wore it purposely just to piss me off.

“Mind you,” He finally stopped by my side as I ignored him, looking out as far as I could see. “I suppose this is the healthier alternative.”

Rather than the sickly sweet vapour that had filled my lungs just moments before, annoyance replenished every fibre in my body. It was only something that he could do and he absolutely knew it. He was the only person in this entire universe that could flick this switch inside of me and he had great pleasure in doing so whenever he could get the chance.

“Harry Styles. What a surprise.”

“Really?” Harry chuckled as he turned, leaning against the wooden rail of the veranda and staring at no other than me. “You’re surprised to see me at my Mum’s house, at my sister’s birthday party.”

My silence spoke volumes.

“If anything, it should me surprised to see you here. It’s been like, what – four years since you’ve been back here in Holmes Ch–”

“I didn't realise you kept count of my comings and goings Harry.”

My eyes finally met his. Since the last time I had seen them in person three years ago, they had only grown into a richer forest green which knocked the wind out of me. His hair still held those chocolate curls that I ran my fingers through so many times before, it was impossible to keep count. I felt sick that these memories flashed back into my body in such a quick moment. Anxiety pulsated through my veins to the point where my fingertips were on fire.

“Indigo Palmer,” Harry’s eyebrow arched upwards in smugness. “There’s no way I can’t help but keep my eyes on you and wherever you go.”

“Ugh, Harry!” I groaned. “You can’t just say that to me. Not anymore.”

Harry’s eyes dropped mine own, slipping down to where his scuffed up boots crossed together. “You’re right.” His lips rolled inwards for a second, his shoulder jerking slightly. “Sorry.”

The noise of Gemma’s party quietly bounded outside of Harry’s parents house, all while the back veranda offered us the mere silence of our breathing. It was something we had done many times before. Through all of these years that we had known each other, we could talk endlessly about everything and on the other hand, say nothing and appreciate what we had and what we had around us. Now, everything about him hurt me.

“So where is Emily? I thought she would of been here.” Harry lifted his hand to scratch at the nape of his neck, a nervous tick he had ever since we were children. My throat instantly tightened as soon as I heard her name leave his lips. It was two parts of my world that I did not want to mix ever again.

“W–we, uh… She…” My voice fumbled, trying to grasp at any sentence that would make what trying trying to say sound the tiniest bit better.

“We’re not together anymore.”

“Oh,” Silence thumped in my ear drums. I watched as Harry’s eyebrows furrowed down, frown lines denting his smooth olive skin.

“Sorry to hear that. What happened?”

As hard as I fought, my eyes found themselves rolling at his ridiculous question. Who the hell did he think he was? My therapist? But as soon as Harry saw them roll, his eyes seemed to follow my lead and rolled back while he shook his head.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s gone on but it looks like you need to talk to someone.” Harry shrugged.

“And that someone should be you? Just like old times then, yeah?” I scoffed maliciously.

The wind rustled against the leaves as Harry thought for a second or two, before shrugging his shoulders once more.

“Well, yeah. Why not talk to me? You always used to talk to me.”

Inhaling deeply, I looked him once more dead in the eye. I hated doing that because all I saw was trust and love every time I lost myself in those eyes of his. That’s why I hadn’t looked him in the eye the last time I saw him and it was all it took for me to break down.

“S–she, uh… She thought I spent too much time at work and focusing on being an associate at the firm I’m currently at. Apparently that qualifies her to… cheat on me I suppose.”

“Fuck,” Harry whispered so quietly, I almost never heard him. “That’s so shit, Dig. I’m really sorry she did that to you.”

Tears welled in my eyes while guilt instantly poured in my lungs. I had felt this three years ago but it still felt fresh – a old wound reopened. I suppose I deserved it. I finally got my karma. I looked up to the sky where the stars were beginning to peak from the night sky, blinking as hard as I could to get rid of them.

“Y–yeah, it only happened a few days ago.” I sniffed. “So if you can like– not tell anyone? That would be great. Mum’s already on my case and I just don’t have the energy to deal with this situation, let alone have her meddle in it.”

Harry’s head nodded profusely. “Yep, sure. You got it. No problem at all. In fact, consider this–”

Before Harry could continue his rambunctious rambling, the door behind me creaked open. Instantly turning around, I watched as Jack and Gemma stumbled out of the house giddily; not realising that their younger siblings were also catching a moments peace on the back veranda until Harry coughed aloud.

“Oh! Here’s where you two have been hiding.” Gemma clapped her hands together. “We’ve been looking for you.”

Turning around, I leaned against the rail beside Harry trying my hardest to discreetly slip my hand that held the e-cigarette behind his back. Thankfully Harry had caught on and shuffled forward slightly so I could do so.

“Well, you found us!” The weight of Harry’s arm suddenly dropped onto my shoulders, pulling me closer into his side. “What’s going on?”

Jack pulled one of the chairs that sat by the back door, scraping its legs against the outdoor tile before plonking his arse in it.

“Need to talk to ya about the wedding.” Jack drunkenly mumbled as he pulled a giggly Gemma down to sit in his lap.

“What wedding?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I looked at Harry to see if he knew what in the world my brother was talking about but he looked just as confused as I did.

“Our wedding.” Jack shrugged, wrapping his arms around Gemma’s waist. “Mine and Gem’s. You’d both know that if you were inside five minutes ago.”

With a wide grin, Gemma held out her hand that had a small but sparkly diamond on her ring finger that shimmered despite the lack of light. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“It’s gorgeous Gem.” A shocked smile grew on my face.

I hated how miserable I felt. I should have been ecstatic that my brother and his long-time girlfriend were finally getting married. I put on a mask and played my part despite feeling like I was rotting from the inside out.

“Congratulations you two.”

“Yeah, Congrats.” Harry beamed, shaking Jack’s hand before leaning over and kissing Gemma’s cheek. “It’s about bloody time!”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re getting there.” Jack grinned. “Anyways, we came to talk to you about the wedding.”

“We want to have a surprise wedding!” Gemma jumped in, her grin reaching from ear to ear.

“Uh,” my eyebrows furrowed. “I’m a bit confused. How do you expect to have a surprise wedding when you’ve just told everyone in that house you’re getting married?”

“Well, that’s kinda where you two come in.” Gemma began to explain. “We’re wanting to throw a party in a month’s time and while everyone else will be thinking it’s an engagement party, we will surprise them with it being the actual wedding ceremony!”

Before Harry and I could object (or say anything really), Jack piped up. “What Gem’s trying to ask is if you’ll plan our wedding for us.”

‘We’ll pay you for your time and effort!” Gemma assured us. “It’s just, some of the best times we’ve had with each other have been at some of those parties you used to throw back when you two were together.”

“And honestly, if it weren’t for the two of you, Gem and I probably wouldn’t be together. There’s no one else that we trust more than you two to do this.” Jack shrugged as Gemma looked at us with hope beaming from her eyes, making me feel worse by the second.

I took one look at Harry who looked just as unsure as I felt but I knew him. I knew he would do anything for them and while I would have like to say I would too, I wasn’t entirely sure I could.

Harry looked down for a second before looking at me, searching for an answer I wasn’t sure I could give. As soon as the corner of his mouth pulled up, revealing a small smile that would be a true smile truly for the first time in 48 hours, I knew what his answer would be… what our answer will be.

“Sure. We’ll plan your wedding.”

ii. let’s get a game plan together

It was a rare occasion for the sun to be out in London, so it was fair to say that I was making the most of it. Actually, a lot of people were. I sipped at my coffee as I sat outside of the nearly full café, watching people bustle by. My legs rarely felt the instant warmth of the sun and god was I loving it. It would have been great, if Harry Styles actually was on time for once.

After learning about Jack and Gemma’s plans for their wedding which they were basically leaving Harry and I in control of, Harry and I had made a plan to meet a week later and get this underway. We only had a month to make this miracle happen for our siblings after all.

Despite the street being filled with people, I instantly spotted Harry’s chocolate curls bounding towards me. If it wasn’t for the tiny blonde child in his arms, I swear I could have murdered Harry on the spot.

“You’re late.”

“Really?” Harry exasperated sarcastically. He somehow pulled the chair out from underneath the table with his foot, all while shooting me a very unimpressed look. “Nothing about the kid in my arms isn’t giving you any clue as to why I might be late?”

“Nope.” I shrugged. “Absolutely none.”

The small girl giggled as Harry lowered her into the seat across from me, his nose instantly following the noise.

“Alright, enough out of you cheeky-monkey.” His palm flattened her wispy strays of blonde hair “What would you like to eat, huh?” She bit down lightly on her bottom lip, her wee eyebrows furrowing as she grew deep in thought.

“A muffin please.”

“A muffin? A fruity one?”

“Yes, A muffin. I’ll pass on the fruity though.” The blonde girl nodded decidedly. “Chocolate will do.”

That sentence alone caused Harry to belt out a full-bodied laugh, to the point where his head tilted back, eyes shut closed with little crow's feet rippling on the outer sides and his palm grasping at his protruding belly. If people weren’t looking at Harry Styles before, they certainly were now.

As Harry got over his laughing fit, wiping away y few stray tears that had rolled down his cheeks, he looked down once more at the girl.

“You be good for Dig, okay? I’ll be back in a few.”

The curve of her ponytail bounced as she nodded profusely before Harry made his way into the cafè, ignoring all of the stunned looks others were giving him. I could only shake my head at him, trying my hardest to hold back the scowl that was threatening to appear. If it wasn’t for the kid staring wide eyed at me, I might have just let it appear.

“So who might you be?” The little blonde thing grinned at me, two of her upper teeth and one on the bottom clearly missing from her smile.

“I’m Lux!”

“Oh.” I hadn’t been expecting that.

The last time I had seen Lux, she had only just been a baby; Fast on her feet and hiding away from Harry and I any chance she got. The only reason the memory had stuck with me for this long was because Harry and I had literally lost her in the house for a solid hour and a half.

It was one of the most frightening moments of my life. Here Harry and I were, naïve adults who thought they could look after a baby for the night and we literally lost a child that was under our care. Thank god she hadn’t been taken or had let herself outside! She probably had been laughing at us the whole time as she hid behind the bookshelf in the living room.

“We’ve actually met before.”

“We have?” Lux gasped.

I nodded before taking another sip of my coffee. “You were just a baby the last time I saw you.”

“That’s cool!” She threw me another grin. “Are you Uncle Harry’s friend?”

My lips pursed into a small frown as my eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched up in thought.

“Uh… kind of?”

“Oh.” Lux looked down at her lap before snapping back up towards me. “So is your name really Dig?”

“Excuse me?” I frowned once more in confusion.

“Is your name Dig? Because that’s what Uncle Harry’s been calling you today. It’s a little strange if you ask me.”

Inhaling deeply, I rolled my eyes at Harry’s idiocy. Of course he couldn’t just call me by my name properly, could he?

“No. I think that’s just Harry trying to be funny.” That comment seemed to pull another giggle from Lux.

“He’s not very funny, is he?”

“No, he isn’t.” I agreed, giggling quietly along with her. “He’s the type of person you end up laughing at because he thinks he’s hilarious.”

Lux burst out laughing, which pulled a small smile out of me. Before she could add anything else, a chocolate muffin on a porcelain plate was slid in front of Lux. Both Lux and I looked up to see Harry holding a very unimpressed look.

“Excuse me Dig but for your information, I am hilarious.” Harry placed a glass on orange juice in front of Lux before sitting in the chair next to her. “You know that.”

“You are not Harry. You are the opposite of–”

“So what’s your name then?” Lux cut in before I could finish insulting him. I was actually taken aback by it.

“Oh,” I stammered. “My name’s Indigo but most people call me Indi.” I couldn’t help but snare at Harry who just rolled his eyes at me.

“That’s a really nice name.” Lux smiled at me before she promptly turned towards Harry with a frown. “Why don’t you call her by her name? It’s pretty.”

“Because I’ve called her Dig for most of my life. I’m not going to stop now just because you say so.” Harry said as he pulled out his phone from the front pocket of his hoodie. “Now play a game on this while me and Dig sort somethings out, yeah?”

Lux happily took the iPhone out of his hand and tapped away to her heart's content.

“You got that email from Gem, yeah? The one about–”

“What they want for the wedding and what they’ve already got sorted?” I finished Harry’s sentence off, irritation slowly seeping in my veins. “Of course I did. They also asked me to help me plan their wedding, not just you Harry.”

“Woah!” Harry leaned back slightly, eyes wide open in shock. Lux wearily looked over the phone screen, her eyes flicking between Harry and I before focusing on the game she was playing. “That’s not what I meant Dig.”

I knew that wasn’t what he meant. Truly; but I couldn’t help but have my guard up around him. The situation we were in was nothing like we were in before and I couldn’t understand why he was acting like we were best friends again. He had to know I wasn’t in the best state of mind.

“That’s how it sounded.”

From one look, I knew he wanted to argue back. His lips slightly pursed in a small scowl and his nose scrunched to the left. Having knowing Harry for as I had, I instantly picked up on his tells and I could only pray for the sake of Lux and I that he just kept his mouth shut for once.

I slipped my notebook out from my handbag that sat on the only free chair at this table, flipping immediately to the pages where I already jotted a few notes and ideas down since Gemma and Jack had asked us to perform a miracle.

“I think since they’ve already emailed through their guest list, we should just get a start on a booking a venue.” Despite the frown still etched on his face, Harry nodded in agreement as a waitress placed a coffee in front of him and another cup in front of me. We both mumbled our thanks to the waitress before getting back to the subject at hand.

“We could just have it at Mum’s and Robin’s. Don’t have to book anything in advance and no one will think there will be a wedding happening if they turn up there.” Harry commented after he had taken a sip of his black coffee. “Everyone will just think it’s a generic engagement party.”

Harry’s nose twitched when I sighed aloud. “They want our parents to be surprised as well H. The moment a set-up crew and catering turn up to your parents place, they’re suddenly in on the secret.” I shrugged.

“And in my opinion, it’s probably a lot easier to book a venue that can cater for our needs and have everything all in one place than transport everything to your Mum’s and then take it all back. What do you think?” I left the ball in Harry’s court, trying my hardest to not make it seem like I was taking over as the project manager. We were doing this as a team.

Harry sat there for a few moments before nodding to himself. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. It was a right pain in the arse waiting on others to bring stuff to us and then wait for them to take it away.”

A wave of relief overcame me when he had agreed with my suggestion. This whole wedding planning business wasn’t going to be an easy ride in the park but at least I could see he was trying too.

“So where do you think we should go?” I asked Harry, ready to write down a list of venues to check out.

Harry chewed on his bottom lip as he thought, a few silent minutes passing by. “I don’t think we should go with venues like Crewe Hall or Colshaw Hall. Seems a bit obvious to have a surprise wedding somewhere like that innit’?”

“Yeah,” I nodded in agreement. “You’re right.”

“What about somewhere like Oak Tree of Peover? I went to Jamie-lee’s wedding there last August and it’s was pretty but not like – overwhelming y’know? It was very low-key.” Harry suggested as he stole a bit off of Lux’s barely touched muffin.

“That’s a really good idea, H…” I said, quickly noting down The Oak Tree of Peover as a venue option.

From memory, I remember it being a lovely venue for a wedding. The Oak-framed barn made it one of the most gorgeous treasures that Cheshire had to offer, overlooking the picturesque countryside that captured our little hometown perfectly. Ideas began popping off in my head, immediately spurring more venues around Holmes Chapel.

“We should probably go do some research on more venues and shortlist the ones we like.” I suggested as I finished writing down the last venue idea I had. Harry nodded before taking a sip of his coffee. “And maybe go to HC next weekend and check out the venues we shortlist?”

“Cool,” I picked up my phone, immediately opening the trainline app to book a ticket back home. “Do you want me to book you a train ticket?”

“Uh, no thank you.” Harry shook his head. “I was thinking you and I could carpool up there. Y’know, since we're both going to the same place to do the same thing.”

“I suppose that make sense. Ooooh! We can go to Dad’s and do the invitations to.” The pen dropped loudly onto my notebook, causing Lux to look up from Harry’s phone. “He’ll have everything we need to do it!”

“Can’t we just get them printed like normal people?” Harry groaned. “We’re already short on time as it is?”

“What’s the point of having a Dad that owns his own art supply store? He’ll love having you around.”

“That doesn’t answer my question Dig.” Harry quipped. My shoulders dropped in disappointment. This wasn’t like him. Normally he would be all over this type of stuff. It used to be me that protested in time-wasting.

“Oh come on Harry! Dad will be thrilled! His daughter visiting him twice in the same month except with his most favourite ex of mine! He’ll love it! And he can help! Pleeeease H?”

Harry chewed on his bottom lip, deep in thought with doubt written all over his face.

“Look, I’m not budging on the handmade invitations. It’s something I want to do to make this wedding special. But if you don’t want to do that, that’s fine too. I’ll do them myself and you can research into some photographers and DJ’s maybe?” A sigh escaped from me. “Seems more down your alley anyways.”

“Okay then. Sounds good.” Harry just shrugged his shoulders, slowly annoying me. It was like he almost didn't give a shit. I mean, of course he cared about Jack and Gemma’s wedding but when it concerned me and doing my bit to help create this wedding, he just… couldn’t care. I didn’t think that it would affect me so much.

“Harry…” I pleaded. “Please work with me here. I’m trying my best.”

“I know you are.”

iii. let's (try) start the invitations

If it wasn’t the sun peaking through my half-shut curtains waking me up from my deep slumber, it was the birds that were happily chirping away in the tree outside my bedroom. Well, my childhood bedroom at my Dad’s. There was no chance of any birds chirping outside my flat in London.I ached from head to toe.

My body felt stiff as I lay in the measly king-single bed. I could only really narrow it down to a few reasons why that might of been.

I had a non-stop day in the office working on the McNealson case yesterday, trying my hardest to get everything done before focusing solely Jack and Gemma’s wedding; but I had to spend a further 3 hours and 45 minutes making awkward conversation with Harry. Also, the argument I had with Emily minutes before Harry knocked on the flat door didn’t help.

As soon as I stepped into the flat yesterday, I could tell Emily wanted to have another argument. She sat on the couch with her legs crossed at the ankle, nursing a half-empty glass of red wine with a scowl on her face. Now while we still lived together technically, we really didn’t. Since the moment I got back from Gemma’s birthday party in HC, I had avoided the flat like the plague. I hadn’t found it within myself to kick her out of my flat and I couldn’t tell you why. There was something about our relationship that made me act like I was clinging on to a drowning boat, hoping that it would keep me or rather our relationship afloat… but it was the suitcase that had finally sunk it.

“Where are you going?” Emily snided as I pulled my suitcase out of the storage cupboard in the lounge.

“Back to HC.” I mumbled quietly, my lungs concaving out of the pure pain they felt.

“Running away again yeah?” From the corner of my eye, I could see her scoff before finishing the last of her wine. “Don’t know why I’m surprised. You always run away, even to a place you haven’t been back to in six years.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to do Em.” I couldn’t help but snap back. “You’re the one who cheated on me, remember?”

“Of course I remember Indigo! You haven’t let me forget it since.” She drunkenly yelled back. “What I want to know is when you’re going to get over it!”

My jaw dropped in shock. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me the first time Indigo.” She slammed the wine glass back onto the coffee table. “When are we going to get back to normal? When are we going back to being Em and Indi?”

I shook my head despite every part of me being stunned at what she was saying. “I’m not doing this now. I’ve got to pack before Harry gets here.”

This only sparked Emily’s fury.

“Harry?!” She spat viciously. “As in Harry Styles?! Your pop star ex-boyfriend? That Harry?!”

“Jesus Christ Em.” My eyes bugged out at her outburst. “Why does that matter?”

“It matters because it’s him!” Emily nearly screamed. “He’s the only other person you’ve loved besides me, Indi! Can you honestly not see why I’m scared? You left him for me and now you’re just running back to him to spite me.”

“I am not Emily!”

“Yes you are!”

For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why Emily was nutting off at me, about Harry nonetheless. We were only carpooling. It just made sense to go there together. Besides, wasn’t she the one I caught cheating on me with another woman in our bed? Why was it all my fault?

And then there was the knock on the flat door. Now it may well could have been Mrs Dowley from across the hall, ready to give us another growling for having an argument this late at night in which I totally agreed with, I had a feeling it might have been someone else that would have fueled Emily’s anger.

It was obvious from the moment Harry knocked on the door that he had heard a decent part of our argument. I noticed his cheeks flushed red and was overall antsy about getting on the road from just his body language. Emily looked past me and just glared at him. Thankfully, I was that angry I didn’t even let him in the door. In fact, I left the empty suitcase sitting in the middle of the lounge.

“You need to be gone by the time I get back on Monday, Em.” My mouth moved before I even realised I was speaking. “You and your stuff. I want it gone. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“I’m sorry, are you kicking me out of my own home?” Emily choked out, shock evident in the lack of breath she had. I don’t think she quite believed I’d be the one to kick her out.

“My name is on the lease. You’re the one who cheated on me. This was my home before it was ours. You’re the one who’s got to go.”

Silence was the only sound that could be heard. Tears threatened to burst over my inflamed cheeks. Harry stared on uncomfortably, trying to ignore what was happening in front of him.

“If you’re that concerned about where you should stay, may I suggest you–“

“Just stop lawyer talking me Indi! Talk to me normally! We can work this out.” Emily pleaded.

“I suggest you go to that slag whose face you were sitting on top of in our bed and ask if you can stay with her. Tell her that you ruined what was good here and now have nowhere else to go. But as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have to do anything for you anymore. I’m done. We’re done.”

Emily began to sob, tears rolling down her cheeks, begging me not to do this. As much as it hurt to see the girl that I had loved cry in front of me, the tiniest bit of relief made me feel like I could breathe again.

“Jack is staying here for a few days while I’m away. You can leave your key with him. Don’t call me.”

Before I could go back on the impulse decision I had just made, I slammed the door behind me, grabbed Harry’s wrist and began to drag him towards the elevator, mumbling a quick “Let’s go.”

I probably pressed the elevator button six or seven times in a row, my fingers shaking as angry tears rolled down my cheeks. I just needed to get out of this building as soon as possible. I just couldn’t bare being in here any longer than I needed to.

“Hey, hey, hey…”

Harry grabbed hold of my shaky hands, turning myself around to face him. His arm curled around the back of my head and suddenly my face was smothered in the confines of the crook of his neck, a place I used to consider a safety net years ago.

“Shhh, you’re okay Dig. I promise.”

It was like he knew exactly what I needed. I let out the deep breath I hadn’t realised what I had been holding. He had offered to go back into the flat and get some clothes for the weekend but I didn’t want him to face the wrath of Emily alone. Thankfully, I had left some spare clothes at Dad’s when I went up for Gemma’s birthday.

In all honesty, I was thankful that Harry had turned up when he did. I’m not sure what I would have done if he hadn't. Everything about yesterday was just as traumatic if not more than when I caught Emily with another woman. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about it; about her; about the betrayal.

A loud bang from downstairs had broken my mental reliving of yesterday. Moments later, a hushed “Fuck!” could just be heard, causing me to forget my tragedy of a life for one second and bring the first genuine smile to my face in days.

“Dad! I hope you’re making what I think you’re making!” If I knew my Dad as well as I did and from judging by all the racket coming from the kitchen, we were having his famous blueberry pancakes. Throwing the covers off, I made my way downstairs with a rumble in my stomach.

“I’ve been craving these all week! I–” I immediately choked once I saw the mop of chocolate curls scarfing down a stack of my pancakes. Harry smirked as he felt my snarl from across the room. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Prinny! That’s no way to talk to a guest.” Dad gasped in shock, taking one look over his shoulder to look Harry, whose smug expression still hadn’t left his big head. “Especially a scrawny pop star one at that.”

“Oi! I’m not scrawny!” Harry protested. “I’ve been working out… a lot!”

My eyes couldn’t help but roll backwards at the both of them. There was a time where Harry used to be afraid coming to my Dad’s house, purely because my Dad was overly protective of his only daughter and young Harry was shagging her; and now here they were. The chummiest of buddies. Unbelievable.

“Why are you here eating my pancakes?” Glaring at Harry, I took a seat next to him before snatching the fork out of his hand. “Don’t you have your own Mum to make you your own pancakes?”

“For your information Prinny,” Before I could stab the fork into the fluffy pancakes on his plate, Harry suddenly snatched the fork back. My nose twitched as I cringed at the horrible nickname leave Harry’s mouth. “My Mum’s in London for a girls weekend with Gem. That’s why Jack’s been booted to your flat. So I’ve come to eat your Dad’s pancakes instead.”

“God, I wish you two wouldn’t call me that. You know I hate it.”

“It’s a wonderful name!” Dad stated with certainty. He slid a plate of my very own pancakes in front of me, handing me a fork so I could also gain some sustenance. “I put a lot of thought into that name when you were born.”

“It’s not that hard to put Princess and Indi together Dad. Anyway, that isn’t the point. The point is that I am a 24 year old woman and I shouldn’t have to be ridiculed by that ridiculous nam–” I tried to argue but before I could continue, a fork full of pancake was rather rudely shoved into my mouth.

Harry tried to hold back his laugh but I could see his cheeks twitching. “Shut up and eat your pancakes, yeah? Your Dad and I don’t have time for this nonsense. We’ve got invitations to make and party venues to look at.”

“I’ve got to agree with young Harry here Prinny.” Dad thought to add his opinion, all for Harry to grin ear to ear. “We’ve got to get down to the art shop before ten if you don’t want to be caught with Harry by Mrs Birchingham. Who knows what rumours she’ll spread around Holmes Chapel if she catches you two in the same shop.”

“Yeah Prinny, we can’t have that.” Harry chided, getting his kicks from agreeing with my Dad and more so by annoying me. I was just glad he had changed his attitude within the week since I saw him last and oddly, it was rather nice to be sitting here at my Dad’s with his company and my favourite pancakes.

iv. let’s find a venue to party in

“So I got the photographer, videographer and DJ booking confirmation just before.” Harry said as he chewed through his burrito, barbeque sauce slowly dripping down from the corner of his mouth. My eyes rolled as I lifted my hand up to his mouth, wiping away the brown sauce that was irritating me.

“Oh,” I wiped the excess sauce onto the side of Harry’s jeans, as we walked towards the church. “Who’d you get then?”

Harry stumbled over his own feet, bumping into me slightly as he tried to correct himself. “One of Gem’s friends works for a photography company in Manchester and her colleagues is going to do the photography and videography.”

“You sure Gemma’s friend won’t find out. They’re both really adamant about people not finding out the wedding.”

“Yes, Indigo. I’m sure.” Harry’s chest rose as he deeply inhaled, letting out possibly the loudest sigh anyone on earth had heard in its entirety. “Madeleine and Seth are going to the job as freelance photographers, so the actual job doesn’t go through the company. That way Francesca won’t find out about the wedding.”

“That’s good. What about the DJ?”

Harry’s nose scrunched slightly as he thought. “Well, there’s this guy James that Nick is kind of mentoring with the whole DJ-ing thing. He actually did a really great job at Nick’s New Years party so I thought I’d ask him and he said he’s good to go for the 27th.” Harry shrugged. “And I figure since Nick is invited, he can help out if anything goes wrong.”

My neck immediately snapped towards him. “Are you expecting things to go wrong with him? Why on earth would you hire him if you think he’ll do something wrong?”

Harry’s eyes bulged out in astoundment. “Jesus Dig, I didn’t say that.”

“Yes you did!” My voice grew higher in annoyance. “You said that Nick would be there if any–”

“I said that Nick would be there to help out if anything god for bid goes wrong. It’s not a bad thing Dig. You need to calm down.” He huffed, taking another bite before storming off in front of me. I didn’t reach him until I got to the magnificent french doors that lead into the foyer, the door just slamming in my face as Harry walked through.

I walked in the moment the young blonde girl at the reception say “Oh my god! You’re Harry Styles!” You would think that by now people would be used to Harry popping his head up every now and again around Holmes Chapel, but for some reason there was always one twenty-something-year-old girl that would make the biggest deal of him being in his hometown.

I watched as his mouth instantly lifted into a smile but into one of those fake smiles to appease people from his true feelings. I could tell he felt uncomfortable all from the slightest movement of his nose twitching to the left. Years ago, he would used to tell me how he hated being recognized as Harry Styles from One Direction in his own hometown. In his head, he was just Harry; a normal chap with a not so normal job, returning home to see his family and friends. To have people make a big hullabaloo

“We’re booked under the name Palmer to view the wedding ceremony and reception areas.”

“Oh,” the young girl frowned instantly as I stood besides Harry. “Your getting married to her? I thought you were with Cami–” Her mouth couldn’t help direct at Harry with some disgust. She couldn’t have possibly known how close that reality could have come true. It hit me like a rock sinking to the dark depths of the ocean, except in my heart.

“No,” Harry coughed uncomfortably, interrupting her before she could finish off saying his last girlfriend’s name. “We’re here to plan a surprise engagement party for our friends.”

“Is Evelyn here? We were booked in with her to show us around.” I tried my hardest to redirect us to what Harry and I were actually here to achieve today.

“No sorry. She went home sick today. I can help you out today though. Follow me through here.”

She pointed her oddly creepy smile towards Harry, completely ignoring me as she opened the door behind her. “My names Charlotte, if you wanted to know.”

Charlotte showed us around the grounds and the venue which seemed to be fine. It was a little country motel that would’ve needed an entire book out just to get the venues, but the set up on the riverbank made up for that. It was one of the things that had caught my eye when Harry and I began researching venues and unbelievably, Harry and I agreed that it completed the vision Gemma and Jack wanted for their special day.

However, it was obvious that she had no care for why I was around. It was all about Mr Popstar himself. Now while she happily informed Harry that they could organise rain cover if needed for the ceremony and that they had an onsite vendors that we could use to execute our vision, the venue could not hold the number of guests that had already RSVP’d back, let alone the number of people who had been invited to the engagement party/surprise wedding and we had no availability to valet parking.

Despite the few hiccups the venue provided, we were seemingly moving towards the agreement that this would be the right place to have the wedding. We could book the out of town guests into the available accomodation and undoubtedly Jack and Gemma’s family could bunk in at our parents houses. The kitchen was more than satisfactory for any catering company to use as their facility. It was ticking most of the boxes on our checklist.

Harry and I had been standing in the corner of the ball room, discussing where the best possible place to put the DJ booth while Charlotte had briefly run off to get some more information for us when my phone had let off a message notification. Scrambling through my handbag, I finally found my phone and was met from a message from Emily.

Emily Xx:

so that’s it huh? You’re fucking him again? You fucking HATE everything about him Indi! I fucking knew you would do this Indigo! Let me remind you one of the many reasons you left him for me! Here’s another article ridiculing you for hanging around the UK’s biggest womaniser http://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/762998/harry-styles-rekindles-romance-with-childhood-sweetheart-indigo-palmer/

My throat instantly tightened as I read every word in her text, tears threatened to spill from the rims of my eyelids. My thumb shakily tapped on the link she had oh so graciously shared with me all while my anxiety heightened.

I had already read the article and was already twenty hateful tweets in when Harry noticed the tears that had escaped, most likely dragging down my non-waterproof mascara down my cheeks.

“Hey, hey Dig?” Harry hushed as he instantly stood in front of me, the pad of his thumb running underneath my eye. “What’s wrong?”

“W–we c–can’t have the wedding here.” I managed to choke out.

“What? Why?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“B–because Charlotte or whatever her name was has b–been posting pictures of us the whole time we’ve been here.”

“No she hasn’t, has she?” I nodded sorrowfully. I said nothing more, just handing over my phone to the endless amounts of reactions that seemed to be popping off every millisecond. I couldn’t even look him in the eye. He knew how hard I took everything to heart and it was one part of his world that played part in destroying our relationship.

But somehow, I picked my head up.

My eyes flickered up with very little movement, just to gauge any indication of how he felt, despite in my bones knowing how upset he would have been. It was most likely the worst decision I had made today.

Why?

I watched how his face remained stern when he had finished reading the link, tapping the top left of the screen to return to the message thread between Emily and I; only to drop the moment he had began reading that message she had sent.

“So I’ve got the booking information here for you. A deposit will need to be paid of course. So I was thinking we–“

“I’m sorry.” Harry began warily. “We’re going to have to go somewhere else.”

“B–but, I’ve got the b–booking forms here.”

“Sorry.” Harry said bluntly. “I can’t hold a private event where staff are going to be posting pictures online before the actual event happens.”

He took hold of my hand, ever so gently and guided me back out to the entrance and carried on holding it until he had opened the passenger door of his car for me, waiting to get in.

We only could’ve been driving for two minutes in dead silence, only the noise of the tyres crackling over the loose gravel could be heard until Harry coughed uncomfortably.

“Dig, I–“

“Are we stopping for a cigarette?”

“You didn’t deserve that.”

I took a deep breath in, the oxygen filling my lungs trying it’s best to ease the anxiety flowing through my body. What my body need was a tequila shot and a hit of nicotine to stop me from going crazy.

“It’s just an article.”

“It’s not just an article.” Harry said, anger seeping through his tone. “Our trust was betrayed; especially yours.”

I couldn’t argue that.

“And I know you had your reasons for leaving me–“

“Harry–“

“But she had no right to try manipulate you with that article like that. It actually makes me sick to think she’s treated you like this for who knows how long.”

Harry swiftly pulled his car onto the side of the road. “Please Harry, just–“

“Indigo,” The calluses on his hand softly scratched at my skin as he held my chin towards him. Sympathy poured from his forest green eyes, while mine were already bloodshot from the tears I couldn’t seem to hold back. “You deserve better… actually no, you deserve the best. And what she gave you just then was certainly not it.”

Before he could go any further, I quickly unclipped my seatbelt and threw my arms around his neck, my nose hiding in that crook I would find comfort in so many years ago. His lips pursed against the shell of my ear, peppering light kisses there as his arms wrapped themselves around me.

“I just – I need you to know that and no matter what, I’ve still got your back. You’ve got to know that.”

I sniffled there for a few moments, the beating of his heart the only noise being the only thing I could hear.

“Can we have that cigarette now?”

“Yeah Dig. We can.”

v. let’s find someone to cook us some food (but I want cake)

“Jesus Dig, could you hurry up? I am starving.” Harry complained, lying on my bed staring up at the millions of fairy lights that scattered across the ceiling. I rolled my eyes at his childish antics, clipping the butterfly to the back of my earring.

“I’m literally ready. Let me just get my shoes on and then we’ll go.”

“Well it’s about time.” He leaned up on his elbows. “You told me not to eat breakfast before this. Why would you tell me that if you planned on being this late.”

“We’re actually right on time. Our appointment isn’t until 11, which is 20 minutes away.” I slid on one shoe before throwing my foot up into Harry’s lap, saving me from bending down and buckling my own shoe.

“You do know it will take us more than 20 minutes to get there.” Harry couldn’t help but snide as he slid the leather strap into the gold buckle. “You’ll be lucky if we get there in half an hour.”

“Oh calm down, would ya?” I sniped wittily. “I Google Maps’d it this morning. It’ll take us 22 minutes to get there by car.”

“You can’t trust those things Dig. They’re not 100%–“

“Your mother really should have named you Harold, you know. You have the personality of a cynical 84 year old man.”

He glared up at me as he finished buckling my shoe. “I am a cynical 84 year old man.”

“Well, be a not cynical gentleman for once and do up my other shoe please?” The shoe hung from my fingers in front of him, the gold buckle clinking together as it swayed side to side. Harry huffed, almost snatching the shoe away. I nearly toppled over when I lifted my other foot up, Harry immediately getting hold of my hands and placing them on his shoulders to balance myself.

“Right, that’s you ready to go.” He released my foot from his grasp.

“Thank you.” I patted his shoulders once, his snarl slowly forming into a discreet smirk. “Can we go now? I don’t want to be late.”

“Oh, so it’s now you don’t want to be late?”

I didn’t even give him the satisfaction in answering, leaving him behind in my old bedroom at my Dad’s to get in his car.

I had been surprised at how easily we had fallen into this weird friendship we had going on. We still argued almost every chance we could get, but since that text message Emily sent last weekend, we were still able to get along just fine for the sake of planning this wedding. Even though Harry was most likely acting out of pity, I didn’t mind spending my free time with him. If anything, it reminded me of why I had fallen for him the first time.

“Would you look at that! We’re here with time to spare.”

We had pulled up to Scoundrels two minutes earlier than Google had anticipated, a smug smile perched right up on my face as Harry parallel parked outside of the café. Harry had no trouble in telling me to fuck off which had just made me more smug.

The bell rang behind us as we walked through the doors and memories flooded in like a tidal wave. Scoundrels hadn’t changed one bit. Both Harry and I looked to the right where our table sat.

I remember we could have only been about fourteen when our Mum’s had first dragged us there. Mum and Dad has only just divorced and Anne was wholeheartedly there to support our family in need. While Mum cried about the inevitable end of her relationship to Anne, Harry and I were forced to awkwardly sit with each other to the table in the right while Jack and Gem were out with their mates and over time, by sitting at that table playing the most stupidest games with each other, Harry and I used to both agree that it was one of the best things that had happened to us, because it was the beginning of us; the beginning to our adventure.

“No fookin’ way!” A loud voice boomed from the counter, both of our heads swiftly turning towards the loud noise. “What are you doing here?! Are you two shaggin’ again?”

Harry burst out in laughter, clutching at his stomach as ZZ stood behind the counter, pure and utter shock written all over his face.

“Zima!” Darcy squealed as she ran from behind the kitchen and stood in the doorway. “You can’t just ask them that!”

“Well why didn’t you tell me they were our 11 o’clock appointment?! I would have had time to freak out before they turned up here.”

“It was meant to be a surprise!”

“Nice to see you too Zuzima.” Harry grinned as he made his way over to ZZ, wrapping him up in a big ol’ hug. “And it’s nice to hear you still care about our sex life.”

“Harry!” I exclaimed, whacking his arm with the back of my hand.

“What?!” With his eyes wide, Harry tried his best to act like he didn’t know what he had said.

“Ignore them love,” Darcy quickly wrapped me up in a sweet hug. “Their brains operate at a far slower rate than ours. Makes us girls superior, I reckon.”

“Oi!” ZZ piped up. “You best take that back. Gender equality and all that.”

“You’re right darling, I’m sorry.” Darcy huffed playfully as she let me go and set her eyes on Harry. “Now get over here you. Haven’t seen you in months H. How have you been?”

I walked over to ZZ with a small smile on my face. I hadn’t seen him and Darce in years. I think the last time I might have visited would have been when I was visiting H on tour with the One Direction lads at one of their Manchester concerts, which was well over four years ago.

“Hiya Zeez,”

A lot like Scoundrels, ZZ and Darcy hadn’t changed a bit either, so it wasn’t like I was nervous about that. I on the other hand had changed and from what I could tell, it wasn’t for the better. But ZZ just stood there with his kind smile and his arms out ready to give me a hug. We stood in each other arms for the longest time, just swaying side to side, holding each other tight. I actually hadn’t realised how much I had missed the both of them.

“Long time, no see sweetheart. You alright?” He mumbled quietly.

“Could kill for a decent coffee and a bit of cake.”

ZZ bellowed out a laugh, letting me go. “That I can sort that out for you. Go take a seat and I’ll bring us some.”

We all settled down on the larger table in the middle of the café, about two tables away from our self proclaimed spot. The bitter yet familiar aroma of ZZ’s coffee filled the café and I could already see from the look on Harry’s face, he was bloody happy about getting some coffee and food into himself.

“So I’m a bit confused, like…” ZZ slid my Mocha in front of me and promptly sat down beside me while Harry and Darcy chatted amongst themselves on the other side of the table.

“Are you guys, y’know… getting married?”

My eyes bulged out in shock as I sipped my coffee. I got that much of a shock, I ended up choking mid-sip. Harry had to pat my back rather brashly to help ease my coughing fit. ZZ immediately sat up straight, ready to explain himself in the fastest way possible.

“D said this appointment was a engagement party sampler and possibly a cake tasting. I see that there’s no ring in your finger, but I thought you and H were keeping it secret.”

“Zima!”

“What?!” He exclaimed, confusion written all over his face.

“We’re not getting married, ZZ.” Harry said so carefully, as if he were trying not to break his own heart again with the subject of us and marriage. If anything, it added another crack into my own shattered heart. Darcy’s eyes flickered between the two of us as if her eyes were following a tennis match.

“Jack and Gems are actually getting married and they wanted to have a surprise wedding as soon as possible. So they asked us to plan it for them.” He managed to snap back to normal, the knuckle of his index finger rubbing at the tip of his nose.

“Oh.” ZZ responded disappointedly. There was no secret that he was definitely one of our #1 supporters. We had our first date in his café. Of course he was disappointed that it wasn’t us reuniting our love. “That’s well good innit’?”

“Yeah,” Harry looked over at me, a small smile reaching towards me. “We think so.”

“So what were they wanting to have for food?” Darcy asked after she finished sipping her tea. “Do they want to serve a big lunch or dinner, or kind of have a smorgasbord of food throughout the afternoon?”

“Well they’ve kind of left that up to Harry and I, so we were thinking that we could have smorgasbord set up on the day.” I explained. “That way people can help themselves throughout the day if we were able to do that.”

“Absolutely!” ZZ clapped his hands together. “We’d probably need to bring our portable container with our gear in it if your venue doesn’t have a decent kitchen in it.”

“We’re waiting to hear back from two venues and one of them won’t have a adequate kitchen, but they will have the room for the portable container to be onsite.”

“Great,” Darcy wrote down in her notepad. “Now what kind of food requirements were you hoping to have?”

“Well ultimately, we would like a vegan menu if possible.” I tried to elaborate. “A lot of Gemma’s friends are vegan, but there are a few of Jack’s rugby mates and a couple of my Uncle’s that like a good roast.”

“What Dig is trying to say is that we’d like the best of both worlds.” Harry laughed, resting his arm on the back of my chair. “And we’d rather like it if you could make the wedding cake to

“Harry darling,” Darcy curled her fingers under his palm and squeezed his hand gently. “We’d do anything for you lot, especially after you helped us out a few months ago H. It be a pleasure to do this for your family and yours too Indigo. We’re really honoured that you both chose us to help you with your siblings wedding.”

“Right,” ZZ clapped his hands, standing promptly out of his seat. “With that being said, I’ll bring out what I’ve prepared, yeah? There’s a killer red velvet I want you to try Indz. Come give me a hand Darce?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as ZZ and Darcy both walked into the kitchen.

“What did Darcy mean when you said you had helped them out?”

Harry just shrugged his shoulders, acting as if it were nothing of importance. “It’s nothing.”

“Come on Harry. Tell me.”

His chest rose as he inhaled deeply, his eyes shining a vibrant forest green my way. “Mum told me Scoundrels was going to close just after Christmas, so I popped in for a visit to see why ZZ and Darcy were shutting up shop. The people that used to own the building were going to put the price of their rent up astronomically and they couldn’t afford to keep running the business when Aaliyah was going to go university next year.”

“So what did you do?”

“I bought the building. Well, I was going to gift it to them but being the people they are, they wanted to pay rent. So I agreed given that I was allowed to put the rent into a university fund for Aaliyah. But the building is theirs. They just don’t know that their names and Aaliyah’s is on the deed.”

I could hear ZZ and Darcy bickering in the kitchen but that hadn’t deterred my attention from the sweetest boy I knew, if not - the sweetest on this earth.

“You are too good for this earth, Harry Styles.”

I remember first saying that to him when we were sixteen.

He had been in the middle of the live shows for X Factor and was loving everything about his new life - the girls, the city, not going to college at eight in the morning. But he had heard through Anne that my Dad had just moved back to Holmes Chapel two years after his divorce with Mum to be reconnect with me and Mum was not dealing with it well, to the point where she nearly had a mental breakdown. So, he and Gemma invited me up to London for the week and any free time he got was spent with Gemma and I doing all the tourist-y shit around London.

So I said the words at the end of my trip - “You are too good for this earth, Harry Styles.” He laughed boisterously, and shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal. It was just one of those things that stuck with us. To this day, I would say it was one of the best weeks I’ve ever had.

“N-no, I’m not.” He almost never replied to what I had just said, disbelief stricken all over his face. I could see his mind racing at one million miles per hour.

My hand went to his knee, the pads of my fingertips applying the slightest of pressure in comfort.

“Just because you don’t think so, doesn’t mean it’s not true Harry. You are inconceivably good.”

vi. let’s get everyone on the same page

We were only a few days away from Jack and Gemma’s wedding and while everything seemed to be ticking along just fine, I had to go back to London for the last two trial days in court for the McNealson case.

I had already anticipated that my boss Mr Rodgerson would call me in to stand apart of the defence team when it came to the end of the trial. Thankfully for Mr Rodgerson and I, Judge Heatherly had come out with his verdict in our favour just before three, meaning I’d be back in Holmes Chapel just in time to meet Harry, Jack and Gemma at the pub. It also helped that Jack had lent me his car to use for the week, meaning I didn’t have to wait around for another 45 minutes for the next train back to HC.

I didn’t think anything would go array when I pulled into Dad’s driveway, especially when all I was doing was dropping off a some clean clothes and my dress for the wedding; but as soon as I opened the car door and I heard two voices yelling at each other, voices so familiar it threw me back to my childhood, I just knew I’d be running late for the pub.

“Why didn’t you let me know Matt?! For fuck sakes, she’s my daughter too!”

“I thought you knew Jules!”

It was almost like I was 12 again.

Mum was stood in the kitchen, red in the face and fuming while Dad stood in the doorway to the dining room, arms out in disbelief, not knowing what he had done wrong this time.

“Why are you two at each other’s throats again?”

They both froze when they saw me come in the back door. Before Dad could even say hello, Mum directed her fury towards me.

“Why have you been staying here on and off for the past month?” Mum spat viciously. “Actually no, why have you not bothered to come see me once since you’ve been back?”

My shoulders dropped as I let out an audible sigh. “It’s not what you think Mum.”

“What do you mean it’s not what you think? What else am I meant to think when the only parent you see after six years of not coming home is the one who left you and your brother for two years of your life?”

“Julia! You can’t ju–“

“Mum,” I cut Dad off, knowing that they were both just egging each other on for a bigger and worse argument. “You obviously know that I’ve been helping Harry plan Jack and Gem’s engagement party then, yeah?”

Mum pursed her lips into a small scowl before nodding her head timidly.

“And you know that while I’ve been doing that, I’ve also had the big McNealson on as well right? We found out this afternoon that we won the trial.”

Mum and Dad stayed silent, both of their faces showing small telltale signs of guilt.

“I’ve just been busy Mum. I’m not trying to ignore you or cut you out of my life. From what Jack’s told me, you and Steven have his girls every other weekend and that’s okay. I just thought Dad’s was the most convenient place to stay because he has the room. If I’m honest, Dad and I have hardly spend any time together while I’ve been back and forth; but I’m sorry I made you feel like I was leaving you out of my life.”

Mum’s lip quivered as a small tear rolled down her cheek. Dad looked down at his boots sorrowfully as he leaned against the doorway.

“Why didn’t you tell me you caught Emily cheating on you before Gemma’s birthday, Indi? I could have helped you with that.”

“What?!” Dad stood up immediately, his eyes running wild with outrage. “She cheated on you?!”

Mum’s eyebrow quirked upwards. “You didn’t know?”

“Of course I didn’t know!” Dad huffed. “Would’ve driven up to London myself and let her and the world know she isn’t and would never be good enough for my girl. Would have shat in her shoe too if Indi wanted me too.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the complete 180 degree change between the two of them. While I had known for the longest time that they really didn’t get along, they were both ever so protective Jack and I. This was a good reminder to how lucky we were to have parents like them despite their flaws.

“Look I appreciate that you guys are both so protective of me and I love you both so much, but Emily and I… that was something I just had to deal with myself. There wasn’t anything or anybody that could fix how things turned out or how I felt. Only I can do that, okay?”

Dad bit down on his lip and nodded his head while Mum ran her thumb under her eye to get rid of the stray tears that had rolled down her face. A messenger notification popped off my phone holding the conversation to a stand still. I knew who it would be and I knew I was now running late.

Harry: Where are you?

“And Mum,” my voice shook as I entered unknown territory with my mother. “You’ve got to let the whole Dad disappearing for 2 years thing go. Your feelings are validated about the whole situation, but Jack and I have made our peace with Dad. So if you’re going to have a go at him, express your feelings to him and move on. Don’t use Jack and I as ammunition against him. He’s never done that to you, okay?”

Mum sniffled as she nodded, relief seemed to pour out of me considering she hadn’t gone off on another tangent.

“Right.” I coughed in the uncomfortable silence. “I only came to drop some clothes off. I’m running late to meet Harry, Jack and Gemma at the pub.”

“Hey kiddo,” Dad stopped me in my tracks waving me toward him, my suitcase still sitting on the back step. “Come here.”

I walked into his arms and wrapped my arms around his torso. “I’m so proud of you. Congratulations on winning the McNealson case.”

“Yeah congrats Bubba.” Mum said after Dad let me go, wrapping me up into her own big warm hug. “Love you so much.”

Harry: seriously? Why is it always me that’s on time? Why can’t you or your brother or my bloody sister make it to planned things on time?

Me: calm ur fucken chill mate, OMW. B @ G&D in 5 mins. Also, b a darlin and order me a cider

I left my parents together but not as how I had arrived. They were both sat down in the lounge with a cup of piping hot tea in front of them, calmly talking things through. Jack was not going to believe me when I told him what state I had left our parents in.

The G&D had been every Holmes Chapel child’s first legal drinking hole, except my own. I had one drink there the day I turned 18, a glass of Pinot Noir with the Toad in the Hole I had ordered along with dinner. Three days later, I had moved all of my belongings from my Mum’s house to my small studio apartment in the middle of London and began my life there.

So it wasn’t like I knew the ins and outs of the place, but I could spot Harry sitting at the far left table with a half drunken pint of beer and a cider on the table.

“You alright, H?”

“Would be better if you lot turned up on time.” Harry snarled, sliding my cider over before taking a decent sip of his pint. “How’d your trial go?”

“Judge Heatherly went in our favour. Ms Cindy Stewart will receive a reparation payout of £2.6 million from McNealson and Sons and another investigation into Mr Carter McNealson’s workplace harassment claims will start next month.” I shrugged before downing half my pint of cider in one go. “A good day's work if you ask me.”

“So the bastard and his father got what was coming for them, eh?”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“I–I uh,” Harry lifted his arm up to scratch the back of his neck. “I ordered some food. Wasn’t sure if you had dinner or not. I haven’t. So I… ordered food?” A laugh that began at the core of my body escaped me.

“You and pub food? I can’t quite believe it!”

“Shut up.” Harry quipped. “Nothing wrong with pub food.”

“That’s where you draw the line. Pub foods okay but when it comes to a 6 pack of Chicken McNuggets and sweet and sour sauce at one in the morning, it’s suddenly a catastrophe.” Harry glared at me briefly as the young waitress placed our food on our table. At least she got something that resembled a smile out of him.

“Get over it. I’ve got important things to talk to you about before Jack and Gems get here. Mrs Birkenridge called and said if we still wanted to book her homestead, we could. Her daughter is going to be around looking after the place while she’s visiting her son in America.”

“That’s good news!” And it really was. There were so many places around Holmes Chapel that we loved but with it being a small town meant that the venues were even smaller. The only other venue that could hold the number of people we were accounting for was the hotel that caused my meltdown a few days ago – and we certainly were not going back there. It was fair to say we were kind of banking on the Birkenridge Homestead.

“She also said that we can use the bedrooms if we need which I thought was lovely of her.”

“That is lovely of her to do that.” I agreed. “Did you give her the deposit?”

“Transferred it on the spot. Told the set up crew and ZZ and Darcy to meet us there tomorrow so we can get it set up and sorted.”

He was acting odd. We had been counting on Mrs Birkenridge to come through and she had. I couldn’t understand why he was acting… grumpy.

“What’s going on Harry?”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, frown lines deciding to make an appearance on his forehead.

“Nothing.”

“Harry,” I tried once more. “What’s making you grumpy?”

His chest rose, uncertainty written all over him.

“Dad doesn’t think he’s going to make it.” Harry said, defeat laced in every syllable. “No matter how hard I’ve stressed to him how important it is for him to be here, he just… says he won’t come.”

Sadness seeped in my lungs, weighing my chest down all because I knew how the very act of Harry’s father not coming to his sisters engagement party/wedding hurt him to the core.

The topic of his Dad was an ultimate mess for not only Harry but for anyone who had the pleasure of dealing with his Dad. If it weren’t for the positive mindset Anne had instilled in her son, there would be no relationship with him at all.

“Do you want me to call him myself? I have no problem doing so. I’ve done it before.”

“Nah,” It was the first smile Harry had cracked since I arrived at G&D. “Gem reckons she doesn’t mind if he doesn’t turn up but like, I do. Like, if I were a Dad, I’d want to walk my little girl down the aisle. I don’t know why any father wouldn’t want to be at their daughter's engagement… or wedding. I don’t know. It’s all a mindfuck innit’?”

I nodded understandably. He was right. It was a mindfuck.

The messenger noise halted our conversation.

Jack: won’t be making it sis. the girls have turned up for drinks with gem so i’m off 2 deano’s 2 have some drinks with the boys. tell h he’s more than welcome 2 join

Me: wow thanx 4 the invite arse. U 2 better be at mrs birkenridge’s @ lunch. xx

“Well, guess who’s bailed on the meeting they planned?”

Harry rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of disappointment. “Bloody typical.”

“Well,” I clapped my hands together. “I don’t see why we should waste the rest of our night.”

“What do you mean Dig?”

“I’m saying we should make the most of our free night not planning this wedding. I don’t know about you but I could do with a decent night drinking.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, he pondered the possibility of spending the night with me.

“Fuck it.” He smiled once more, before necking down the rest of his pint. “Well go on then. To the bottom.”

That’s all it took for me to chug the rest of my cider and order us 2 shots of tequila each and another round of drinks, a start to interesting night.

vii. let’s get a start on this wedding

I could hear chirping.

Why could I hear chirping?

I took three deep breaths, my head thumping and my mouth drier than the Sahara desert. I couldn’t even bare the thought to open my eyes. If it weren’t for my turning stomach, I would have stayed in my deep slumber. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the weight on top of my abdomen, pressing all the wrong places

“Get off.” I mumbled, squeezing my eyelids shut tighter as the daylight outside woke me up. Trying my hardest to push the weight off, I began to breathe quicker, my mouth watering at an insane rate as my turning got worse than before. “Get off. Get off. Get off.”

A sigh of relief escaped me when I managed push the weight off me. Flinging the sheets off me, my eyes shot open and I ran to the bathroom, my stomach emptying into the toilet as soon as I collapsed in front of the toilet. The bathroom was beginning to spin once I had finished, so there I stood at the basin, stark naked brushing the remnants from the night before off my teeth. My thighs ached to the point where without the motivation to vomit, I wasn’t sure I could walk.

I spat the remaining toothpaste into the basin, the running tap washing the foam down the drain. As I looked up into the mirror, I saw Harry standing behind me in the reflection, still half asleep and stark naked as I was. He reached around me, twisting the tap to the point the water stopped running.

“Turn around.” His voice croaked. It had always taken a bit for his gravelly voice to warm up in the morning.

Harry guided my hands to hook behind his neck, before running his own down my body, leaving a wake of goosebumps, settling at the back of my thighs.

“Jump.”

My legs locked around his body, while my eyes found comfort in the darkness of the crook of his neck.

“You’re game.” I mumbled as Harry carried me back to my bedroom. “Walking around like this in my Dad’s house.”

“Calm down.” I heard him kick the door to my bedroom, as it bounced off the wall and back into us. “Your Dad left for work a couple of hours ago. He’s not exactly quiet when he leaves for work.”

My back hit the mattress gently as Harry lowered me down, a kiss placed on the very corner of my mouth which melted all my limbs to jelly. He draped the sheets over my body before occupying the space next to me like he had the night just been. His head rested by my right shoulder, eyes already shut closed. The calluses of his hand tickled at my hip as Harry pulled me closer to him.

“H?” I asked so quietly, I wondered if he had heard me. My fingertips ran through the mess of his hair. Harry seemed to have liked it because he had shuffled closer to me and did this weird, purring thing.

“Mmmm…”

“We had sex.”

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled smugly. “We did.”

We lay in silence for a bit, the only noise was from the birds chirping outside my window. And while it seemed quite slow and steady out there, in here my brain could not stop running at one million and one miles per hour.

“Do you think Dad would of heard us last night?”

“Oh yeah no doubt.” Harry chuckled. “Remember that time he stayed with us? The night of your graduation? You were almost louder than that night, I reckon.”

“Oi, no I wasn’t.” I disagreed.

“Whatever you say Dig.”

Yesterday seemed like forever ago. While bits of it were a haze, there were times last night that were clear as day. I remember when Harry backed me into the corner, telling me how beautiful I looked. I told him to piss off. I remember tasting whiskey off of his tongue when he kissed me on the taxi home. I remember feeling so satisfied with colour purple that grew on the crook of his neck, admiring the handiwork I had done on him. I remembered what it was like to just have him in such a vulnerable state, the intimacy we shared almost identical to what we used to share with each other all those years ago.

Rather than the experience being soul-shattering and painful like I thought it would turn out to be, I felt loved; something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Without knowing so, Harry and I fell into another deep slumber, where I had dreamed that we were about to go skydiving and I was about to jump off the plane when a phone began ringing.

“What?” Harry grumbled beside me. His heartbeat echoed in the shell of my ear as he listened to whoever was interrupting our time. “Shit! Yep, yeah. We will be there in ten minutes.”

“Who was that?”

“It was Gemma.” Harry slipped out from under me, making me whimper from the loss of contact and warmth.

“Come on Diggy babe. You’ve got to get up. Everyone’s at Mrs Birkenridge’s.”

“What?!” That made me instantly sit up. I couldn’t recall in the whole time that I had known Harry for him to dress himself as quickly as he did. Me on the other hand still felt drunk. He threw on his clothes and then helped me into my own before putting me into the car and drove speedily towards the Birkenridge Homestead.

“I’m so sorry we’re late.” Harry instantly apologised to the woman I assumed was Mrs Birkenridge’s daughter.

“It’s no problem. I’m Rosemary, Mary-Louise’s daughter. You must be Harry? We spoke on the phone.”

“Yeah I am. Nice to meet you.” Harry grinned, holding his hand out for her to shake his hand. “This is Indigo, Jack’s sister. We’re both planning the engagement party together.”

Despite every cell in my body functioning at a 45% success rate, I pulled a smile on my face and shook Rosemary’s hand. “Hiya! Nice to meet you.”

”You too.” She smiled politely as she lead us around the property. “Jack and Gemma are just around the back by the pond. They were telling me that you used to throw pretty great parties back in the day.”

“That was mostly Harry,” I admitted. “I was too busy studying for my exams most of the time‍. All I would do was make sure there was a enough booze and food for everyone.”

“Don’t you listen to her Rosemary,” Harry was quick to dismiss. “She was a vital part of the team. Was always there ready to play an impromptu game of drunk twister and always made sure nobody felt left out.”

“Oh there they are. Took you two long enough to get here.” Jack said in a smarmy tone, all to arrogant for his own good. Gemma slapped his chest with the back of her hand. If Jack was gonna play this game with me, I was gonna play and beat him at his own game too.

“Oi, pipe down pet. It’s not like we’ve done everything else for this bleeding wedding.”

Rosemary looked warily between the two of us, I sure if we were being serious or not.

“Ignore him.” Gemma grinned over at Rosemary. Harry just threw a warning look my way, as if he were saying ‘just shut your face for once, would ya?’ through the smallest movement of his eyebrow. “He gets a bit cocky when he hasn’t been fed.”

“Well, I say we get into it.” Harry clapped his hands. “You tell us how you want things set up,” he looked towards Gemma and Jack before aiming his attention at Rosemary. “And you can let us know if that’s okay or not to do on the property,” Then his neck snapped my way. “And Dig and I can sort the rest.”

For the next three hours, Gemma and Jack explained how they wanted their ceremony area and reception area set up, while Rosemary sat at the table with Harry watching the decorators do their thing. By the end of the afternoon, Rosemary was besotted with Harry and couldn’t stop gushing to her husband how sweet Harry was.

It looked absolutely beautiful.

Baby pink satin curtains draped against a frame that stood on a platform at the end of the aisle. Fairy lights glimmered in the tree’s and bundles of pink and white roses bloomed all over the show. What had impressed me the most was the smiles that just seemed to keep on growing on my brother and his fiancé’s faces.

“Uh, Indigo?” I turned around to see Rosemary who looked unsure about what she was going to say next. “There’s, uh… Emily’s come to see you? She’s quite adamant on seeing you, uh… now?”

My heart dropped in a instant. I could feel my skin turn pale and my breath held still in my chest. I was in shock. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of how she knew where I was.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Jack stood in front of me, his hands rubbing the sides of my arms to shake me out of the shock I was in. “What’s going on Prinny? You look sick. Is your hangover finally kicking in?”

I wanted to speak… No actually, I wanted to scream; but I couldn’t. I just wanted to be left alone for one goddamn minute to grasp what was happening.

“A girl’s turned up here to see Indigo. Her name’s Emily.” Rosemary patted my back comfortingly as Jack’s green eyes bulged out in disbelief.

“Fuck.” He mumbled. “Do you want me to go get rid of her? Because I will. You know I will.”

“No.” I managed to shake my head and took a step back. I needed space for my own well-being. “I–I just wasn’t expecting her.”

“Well do you want me to go with you then? We’ll go tell her to bugger off together.”

“N–no thanks.” I shook my head before turning around to Rosemary. “I’m so sorry if she’s given you any trouble. I’ll make sure she goes home.”

She nodded at me with a sympathetic smile. “She’s in the front entrance. Good luck.”

I could hear her before I could see her. She was pacing up and down the entrance her normally pristine hair was messily thrown up into a bun. She looked like she hadn’t even changed clothes in the last couple of days. It was more scary than it was worrisome.

“Emily what are you doing here?”

She stopped in her tracks, her piercing eyes going right through me. “You need to come with me now.”

“I can’t Emily.” My voice wobbled. “I’m busy.”

“Yeah, with that fucking prick from One Direction.” Emily spat venomously. “It’s fucking everywhere Indi. Harry Styles back with his former childhood sweetheart. Do you know how stupid that makes me look?”

“What about how stupid I looked when you cheated on me, huh?” I cried so loudly, it echoed within the entrance. “Do you ever think about how awful I felt when I caught my girlfriend of two years in our bed being eaten out by your co-worker?”

“I only did it because you stopped loving me!”

“That is such bullshit Em.” I angrily wiped the tears rolling down my flushed cheeks. “The worst thing about all of this is that I still fucking love you, even after everything you’ve put me through. I still fucking love you.”

“Well if you loved me, you would have never kicked me out of my home. You would have stayed in London and sort things out with me. We would still be together.”

“No we wouldn’t.” I spoke honestly. “You know, Harry never did anything wrong while we were together. Sure, his job sucked at times but he always made me feel loved. And I still ran away from him because my parents had fucked up the idea of marriage for me. All your cheating did was bring everything to light, Em. You never loved me the way I loved you and I’ve realised that it’s not enough.”

“Do you know how hard I’ve fucking tried over the last two years Indigo? Because let me tell you, it’s fucking tough when your girlfriend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend.”

“I’m not in love with Harry!” I sobbed. “I’m not.”

“You are though. You’ve never fully let him go and all you’ve done is run back into his arms. Forget me though, I’ll just act like everything you’re doing is fine.”

“For fuck sakes Emily!” I shouted, a lie bubbling up in my stomach. “All he’s done is help me with this near-on soul destroying wedding! He’s not even being that great about it. If it weren’t for the fact that my brother and his sister were getting married, I would have absolutely nowt to do with him.”

I could see the rage in her that had built up so much, it was about to overflow.

“You need to go, Emily.”

Harry stood leaning against the hallway wall, a mixture of sadness and anger showing on his face. Emily scoffed as she spotted Harry a few metres away from us.

“Well here’s the big man himself! Suppose you’ve been trying everything in your power to woo our little princess here. Not that hard of a job to win her over is it?”

“If you don’t leave, I’ll get my security to escort you off the property and you’ll be given a restraining order.”

“You know what?” Emily paced back and forth for a bit, quietly laughing to herself. “Fuck you both. You two fucking horrible people deserve each other.”

Just like that, she was gone… and Harry wasn’t far behind her.

“Harry!” I ran up behind him as best as I could in my heels, yanking on his bicep to pull Harry back. “Could you just stop for a second?”

“Why should I Dig? All you’ve done this whole time is second guess me! I want the best for our siblings too! I want to do the best I can possibly do for their wedding! I don’t know what I have done for you to not trust me!” Harry puffed, his cheeks instantly flushing red as tears built up in his eyes.

“Actually, fuck that. I proposed to you Dig! I proposed to you and you ran away and it was the last I saw of you. For the last two years I’ve tried to understand what I did wrong; what I possibly could have done to stop you from leaving me. All for you to not be loved like you should have been loved since. That fucking breaks my heart Indigo, it fucking does. We could have never felt this pain if you had just let me love you.”

“Harry, I–“

“Ever since I saw you sitting out on Mum’s balcony with a fucking e-cigarette in your hand, you’re all I’ve wanted since. But I’m never going to be good enough, am I Dig?”

I wish you knew Harry. I wish you knew that you were too good for me… too good for this earth in this lifetime anyways. It was never about you not being good enough for me. It was about me not being good enough for you.

In this lifetime I’ll always love you but will never be good enough to match what you deserve.

I wish you knew.

viii. let’s have a wedding.

“Get up.” My body shook from the sharp jolt that moved my mattress.

I lifted my hand in the air, middle finger flying high and proud as I squished my face as far into the pillow as I could. “Fuck off Jackson.”

“Seriously Prinny. Get the fuck up.”

“I don’t want to deal with you right now.” I seethed, glaring at Jack with as much hatred as could muster this early in the morning. “Fuck off and get ready for your wedding.”

“I want to!” Jack exasperated. “But I can’t when both me and the woman I’m about to marry are worrying about our siblings.”

“Stop worrying and let me go back to sleep. There – problem solved.”

“Indigo.” Jack sat on the edge of my bed, tucking my hair behind my ear. “He loves you.”

No he didn’t. He didn’t know what type of person I had turned into. If Emily couldn’t love me, Harry certainly couldn’t. If anything, my worst fear had come true. I was unlovable. There was no need for Harry to take one for the team and brainwash himself into thinking he loves me.

“It’s been two, nearly three years since he proposed Jack.” I croaked, tears heavy on my eyes and my throat tightening to where it was becoming hard to breathe. “I’m a horrible person. He doesn’t love me. He loves this made up version of me that he’s had in his head since.”

“He loves you Indi, he told you that yesterday. You just don’t love yourself… or you don’t love love.” He argued.

“Trust me, I know our parents fucked up our idea of love but in all honesty, it was you and Harry that changed that for me. Not Gemma, you and Harry. I knew that it was the whole marriage idea that triggers you but I thought if you could happily accept the amount of love Harry had for you by opening your heart up, I could do the same. And in a few hours time, I’m going to marry the love of my life, and it’s going to be great.”

The clock read 8.43am, which meant I had only stopped crying four hours ago. Of course Jack had to go set me off with the sweetest of arguments I’ve ever had with my brother.

“I just want you to have the best love you could possibly get and give and I really think Harry is your shot at that. But you need to fight for him Indz, because I think he’s lost all hope and from what I can see, you’ve got a little bit left in ya.”

And like the annoying brother he was, Jack was right. I did have a little bit of hope left for Harry and I.

“Right, okay.” I flung the sheets off me, wiping the ugly tears that were drying on my rosy cheeks. “Move out of my way. Got to tell someone I love him.”

Jack grinned, throwing his keys on my lap. “See you in a couple of hours then.”

I wish I had more time to think, but it only took me three minutes to drive to Harry’s parents house. I wanted more time to think of how to say sorry; to apologise for disappearing after he got down on one knee in our living room and asked me to marry him; to think of all the ways I could show Harry how much I loved him; and most importantly, to talk myself out of doing this because deep down, I was still so unsure about me chasing after him. All of my insecurities were still there but so was Harry… for the meantime.

Gemma gave me a knowing look as she let me into her Mum’s house, whispering a quick good luck in my ear as she let me go from our hug. Ny heart pounded so loudly in my chest with every step I took up the stairs, leading myself to Harry’s bedroom.

My hand anxiously wavered by before it knocked three times again the wooden door. I could hear the graspiness in his voice the moment he mumbled ‘come in’.

My hand turned the golden knob and I visibly cringed as the door freaked while I opened it. But as soon as I saw him, leaning up on his elbows over at me, still half asleep not knowing who was at the door, tears fell heavy on my eyes.

“Hey…” I choked out, all the words I wanted to say the moment I saw him vanished in a second.

“Hi.”

Rather than the scowl I was expecting to see on his face, Harry smiled and all it did was make me break down in tears.

“Hey, hey, hey. Come on now. Come get into bed.” Harry hushed from his bed, lifting up the covers and invited me in. It was safe to say I near on ran getting into his warm bed.

“I’m so sorry H. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never–“

Harry shushed me gently, his lips peppering kisses on my forehead. His arm instantly wrapped around my waist, pulling my body right against his side, the shell of my ear right above his racing heart.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve never made you feel guilty for not accepting my proposal.” Harry whispered so carefully.

“I should have never run away from you in the first place.” I shook my head. “I should have stayed and told you how afraid I was of turning out like my parents. Instead I hurt you and I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that.”

“I think there is a should have and shouldn’t haves in our past babe,” Harry sighed. “The question we have now is do we see a future together…”

Before I could get my answer in, Harry carried on. “Because if I’m being 100% honest here, I’m in. With or without marriage, I want to spend this lifetime with you.”

Sniffling hard, I threw myself on top of his body, attacking his body in the biggest hug of love I could give.

“I love you. Fuck, I’m so fucking in love with you. I’ve never stopped, I never will.” I muttered on like a mad person in the crook of his neck. Tears continued to roll down my cheek and onto his warm skin.

“Love you too, Dig. So much.”

***

“Could I get everybody’s attention please?” Jack's voice boomed over the group of people that had gathered in the backyard. Gemma stood proudly by his side, her smile beaming as she looked up at the man she was about to marry.

Harry and I sat off to a table on the right of the aisle, bunched up together like two peas in a pod. Our fingers were intertwined, resting on Harry’s thigh under the table. Thankfully, the tablecloth covered out hands so not even our mothers could use that as an excuse to pry in our newly founded relationship. My head rested on his shoulder, partly due from the lack of sleep I had the night before, but mostly due to how exhausted planning this wedding had made me.

Anne has burst into Harry’s bedroom earlier this morning, just like when we were kids. While we may of been sleeping for ten minutes at most after reconciling, she told us to both get out of bed and join her and Gemma for breakfast. She had made pancakes, and made me my own special blueberry pancakes.

Things would have been great if Harry didn’t insist on eating my pancakes. We were thirty minutes into our new future that we couldn’t wait to see what would come from it, and we were already arguing. For the first time in a very long time, I felt happy and that in itself was an overwhelming emotion.

“We want to thank you for turning up today. It means a lot to Gemma and I that you all could make it. But there’s two people we really want to thank from the very bottom of our heart.” Jack looked over at Harry and I from the platform.

“As you know, my brother Harry and Jack’s sister Indigo have spent the last couple of months planning this engagement party for us. Haven’t they done such a wonderful job?” Gemma said, her grin never leaving her face. A applause broke out from the crowd in front of them.

“If you didn’t know, they used to date! And like the annoying siblings they are, they would make Jack and I hang out with them all the time. It was like being an awkward double date.” She laughed, before turning her attention back onto Jack. “But little did we know what would come our way and what we would turn into. So in saying that, we have a bit of a surprise for you all.”

Gemma quickly ran off stage and pulled another lady up onto the stage with her.

“This is Diana. She’s a marriage celebrant.”

A gasp came over the guests, while Harry and I chuckled between each other.

“And since we thought Harry and Indi have done such a great job and all of the people we love and cherish are here, we thought why not just get married now!”

Both of our Mum’s looked between in each other in shock, tears forming heavily in their eyes. Dad threw his head back, boisterously laughing his head off, pointing at us as we sheepishly grinned like we hadn’t known this was the plan all along.

“You knew, didn’t ya! Ya little fucking shits.”

Diana stood in between Jack and Gem, harping on all things love and how the very act of love made the world go round and more specifically, how it came to bring them two together. I didn’t expect Jack to be as emotional as he was. His voice quivered on almost every third word when he was saying his vows, sneaky tears being hastily wiped away by this big stocky fella who I hadn’t seen cry in almost twenty years. As for Gemma, well – you couldn’t get the smile off her face if you tried.

“...I now announce you as husband and wife. Now snog each other, will ya?”

A surge of pride filled my chest as I watched my brother and new sister-in-law whisper ‘I love you’ to each other before kissing each other. Jack had said earlier that there was hope in seeing love. Now I knew what he had meant, and it pained me to say but my big ol’ brother was right.

I turned my face towards Harry, resting my chin on his shoulder as I looked up into those lovely eyes I had been in love with since I was fifteen.

“I love you.” I whispered, the most smug of smiles gracing Harry’s face.

“I love you too.”

ix. epilogue

Harry thought to himself he had never been so thankful to see a door before. The moment he walked out, all he wanted to do was walk back in and stay there for as long as he could.

But Indigo was sick of hospital food. All she wanted was some baked ziti from the little Italian restaurant down the road and given the last twenty four hours she had been through, Harry would do anything for his love. That however meant Harry had to drive across town to get it, and while he was near home, he might as well pick up the gift he forgot and left at home.

Harry quietly crept into the hospital room, trying his best not to drop the food his girlfriend desperately wanted, or all of the other stuff he had brought from their home. Despite the curtains were drawn shut, the sunset managed to peek through, setting the room into a nice auburn red that wasn’t too harsh on his eyes.

“Hey.” Harry whispered, a moment of relief falling over him when he saw Indigo sitting upright, her hair tied up messily on the top of her head, happily gazing down at the little bub that had only entered the world just a few hours ago.

Indigo looked away from their little angel, her smile turning into a grin when she saw Harry standing there with a paper bag of food and about three stuffed toys in his hand.

“Hi. How was the traffic?”

“It was fine.” Harry walked over and placed the toys at the side of the hospital bed, the food put on the bedside cabinet, and a kiss promptly placed on Indigo’s lips. “How’s our girl doing?”

“Well she’s been a hungry little bugger for the last ten minutes, haven’t you sweet girl?” Indigo turned her attention back down to her little bubba, currently latched on and eating to her heart’s content. “But she’s been a good girl nonetheless. The nurse and I were really impressed at how well she latched on this time.”

“Not sure where she gets being good from. It certainly isn’t from you or me.” Harry snided, his wit still coming through despite most of his attention was on this little girl of theirs. He went to pat the apple of her cheek ever so gently with the knuckle of his finger but she was to quick for him, her tiny hand wrapping around his finger. Harry’s heart hadn’t melted quicker than it did in that moment.

“The nurse wants you to do some more skin-to-skin tonight too.” Indigo smiled at her little girl’s hand wrapping around her daddy’s finger. “She said it may help her settle a bit better when we put her down for a sleep, rather than nursing her to sleep all the time.”

“Count me in.” Harry beamed. “I’d do anything for you, little girl.”

Indigo’s free hand lifted up to Harry’s cheek, feeling the scratchy stubble on her palm. Admiration filled Indigo’s heart to the brim when it came to Harry’s love for anything, but it had been amplified when they had found out about their little bub growing in Indigo’s tummy, and then so much more when she finally decided to enter the world. In all honesty, Indigo thought she had peaked. There was absolutely no way she could be any happier than she was in this very moment.

“Sweet girl wrote you a card while you were gone.”

“Did she now?” Harry’s eyebrow quirked upwards. “You know, we’ve got to give her a name at some point.”

“It’ll come in good time. Just can’t decide if she’s a Grace or a Georgia.” Indigo shrugged her shoulders, dropping her hand from his face, and back down to their baby. Her little bub looked content and full, so Indigo broke her suction and quickly replaced her nipple with the knuckle of her finger in between the baby’s gums. “Her card’s just up on the cabinet if you want to read it.”

Harry didn’t want his sweet girl to let go of his finger but he slid his finger out unwillingly. His curiosity got the better of him, wanting to know what his daughter (and Indigo) wanted to say to him.

He picked up the baby pink envelope, flicked his finger under the paper and pulled out a card that read ‘To the Best Daddy in the world!’ on the front. His thumb pulled the card open, and with his heart beating ever so loudly, Harry began to read.

To Daddy.

Aren’t you happy I’m out of the womb now? Now we can chat and have kisses at what ever ridiculous time of night without waking Mummy up! I’m so glad that I get to be your’s and Mummy’s sweet girl forever now.

While I’ve been growing in her tummy, me and Mummy have been having some serious talks about our future - just stuff like not being fussy with food and going to bed properly the first time. I said to her I couldn’t promise that but I did say I would help her ask something.

Mummy said she loves you very much and has loved you the moment you gave her a pink rose outside of Scoundrels when she was 15. She said you tried to do this once before, but she got really scared and ran away. She hopes you’ve forgiven her for it, she never meant to hurt you. All she wants is to give you as much love as she can. What she’s trying to ask is if you’ll marry her… but she thinks it’d be much cuter if I asked - so here it goes.

WILL YOU MARRY MY MUMMY? xo

By the time Harry looked up from the card, Indigo held open a ring box, that hand the most stunning carvings within the black coated ring.

“So what do you say?” Indigo said with a nervous smile on her face; their sweet baby angel cooing in her arms.

“Will you marry me?”

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1dffexchange · 5 years

Photo

(for you) i will try

To: Rory @verorax

From: Vicki @angstarella

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating

Summary: a short story where ex’s are ex’s for a reason, weddings are near-on soul destroying and Harry and Indigo together are just a massive cause for disaster.

Authors Note: strap yourselves in ladies and gents bc she’s an angsty one! it’s been a real pleasure writing this prompt for you rory. i got a bit carried away with this but i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it. ALSO thank you to Emma @ninetyfovr for the amazing banner xx

i. let’s have a (surprise) wedding

It’s also something nice to hear when you’ve just been dumped by your girlfriend (...well, ex-girlfriend, I suppose) two days ago.

I craved nothing more than to rifle through my bag and pull out a pack of Malboro Gold, light up and inhale the ever-calming smoke that put my anxiety to ease. The e-cigarette I bought twenty minutes before leaving London would have to do. There was no way I was going to give my mother another reason to be on my case. Being a bisexual millennial was enough to make my mother to sprout grey hairs. I didn’t need to add being a closeted smoker to her stress list. The best I could do was a flimsy version of a healthy cigarette to keep my nicotine addiction at bay.