#mutuals can agree with me

[jen-with-a-pen]

a friendly reminder 🙃

Some of you are new here, and I won't fault you for that. Some of you are learning or re-learning stuff here. That's okay.

but please for the love of fucking everything holy

PLEASE DONT BE THIS PERSON

Please don't spam like, thinking you're doing something. It does absolutely nothing to help us authors out.

It's also fucking annoying. Even more so when you look like a goddamned bot 😀

Spam liking without reblogging, looking like a bot, and/or having no age in your bio, IS AN AUTOMATIC BLOCK.

and this isn't just from me. You will be blocked by so many other authors as well.

please, if you aren't familiar with Tumblr or fandom etiquette, there are SO MANY posts about it. If you need any help navigating, I promise my DMs and ask box are ALWAYS open for questions. I've been there. I made mistakes too. But I learned. Y'all need to, too.

#psa #yall are testing me goddamnit #please just be a decent human and dont do this #please #mutuals can agree with me #next time this happens i will not be afraid to name n shame if youre an active blog who spam likes my shit but doesnt reblog it #whole reblogging others works #thats also shitty #anyways #im still OOO #behave y'all's selves #jen speaks #hall of fucks

[relaxingthought]

being a swiftie on tumblr specifically (the hating taylor swift website) is the bravest thing you can do

#this is a lighthearted joke and if you come at me with ''this is actually not the bravest thing you can do'' type replies I KNOW AND I AGREE #it's a joke! for fun! for my swiftie mutuals!

[nonsensical-ramblings]

The Stranger Things OST is something we haven't been paying nearly enough attention to, because I think I've just found something monumental.

We all know these two scenes feature the same music:

But what we haven't been talking about is how the tracks in these four scenes all share the exact same melody-

Or that the tracks from these two scenes sync up perfectly to create an entirely new piece of music

But what if I told you this is only the very tip of the iceberg, because I've been sifting through evidence for quite a while now, and we are far past the point of this all just being a coincidence?

ahem.

Welcome to Soundtrackgate.

(AKA: The wild, wacky world where connections go way, way deeper than you could've possibly imagined, and it all still manages to lead back to byler in the end)

So, just by themselves, those three instances of matching soundtracks creating parallels between different scenes are pretty cool, and worthy of analysis. That's all well and good. But it gets a whole lot more complicated when I tell you that across those three examples, all the songs from those eight scenes I've pointed out match with each other too. The music playing during the J/ancy kiss syncs with the music from the R/ockie scene at the gun shop. The M/ileven kiss has music that syncs with the "It was a seven" scene. R/ockie making sandwiches has music in the background that syncs with the Byler van scene. They're all in the same key, B flat major.

I can prove that I'm not making this up in the form of some amazing mashups between four important OST songs. But before I show you those, let me take a step back and introduce you to the songs individually: Being Different, The First Lie, The First I love You, and Kids.

(I slowed them down so they're all the same speed). And I thought to myself, golly, these all sound pretty similar, they all have a pretty consistent pattern of eight quarter notes that get repeated over and over. (Listen closely, can you hear it?) I sure bet it would sound nice if someone combined them. So. I figured out how to edit audio and I did it myself XD

When I said they synced, I wasn't kidding. When I did my initial little experiment, I was not expecting the songs to, in no uncertain terms, match up perfectly, as if they were all variations of the same track, because the only thing I'd done was change the tempo a little bit between each of them. No splicing, no extra editing, no looping, no nothing. And they sound beautiful together!!! Here are my three favorites:

Putting all four together pushes my limits a bit and it comes out a tad messy, but I love it anyways. It's overwhelmingly clear that these four songs are meant to fit together.

So... what does this mean? The tracks are undeniably connected, and some of the scenes in which they occur are clearly parallels too. I mean, we've been ENDLESSLY analyzing parallels between R/ockie, Byler, and J/ancy, and this discovery lends more credit to the theory that those aren't just coincidences. But especially for major motifs like Kids, there are a lot more scenes where these songs play!! It's not just the few I mentioned at the beginning of the post that are pretty obvious in how they're similar to one another. Haha, but wouldn't it be crazy if ALL the scenes that these songs (and their variations) appear in followed the exact same narrative pattern; a pattern which would just so happen to offer extremely compelling evidence to the fact that Byler has been endgame since season 1?

Ha ha... ha... um.

They do.

All of them.

I'm not fucking joking. Out of the 22 scenes I've been able to track down which feature any of these four songs or variations of them, I've identified a pattern which every single one follows. Some definitely better than others... but it is un-fucking-deniable that this pattern exists and it has to be deliberate, because all of this being a coincidence must be some sort of statistical impossibility with the sheer amount of evidence I've amassed.

The pattern I'm referring to is a collection of four themes:

A misassumption / some form of dishonesty

Love. Often romantic, but sometimes platonic or familial

A subversion of expectations

An atypical relationship between two people

Often in that order.

So basically, we have a collection of scenes throughout all four seasons that are very strongly linked to each other, through both the music that plays during them, and the narrative pattern they follow. And theoretically, if we now know for a fact that each of these scenes follows the same pattern, we can use it to support our interpretations of moments like the van scene or "It was a seven"! (A pattern which, I'll remind you, will fall perfectly in line with Byler endgame)

Okay. So here, we get to the main chunk of the analysis. The hard data. I've gone through every relevant scene and listed how each of them fit the pattern, to prove that it's legit, and to use it to demonstrate how this discovery supports our theories! I've also added whether I think the scene matches well (✅), moderately well (🤔) , or poorly (❌) with the interpretation. (Keep in mind that even the ones that match poorly still relate to the themes in some way!) I sorted everything by motif, then into individual music pieces, then into scenes that feature that music. So scenes that have the same track playing in the background are grouped together.

Obviously, it's pretty long. I did my best to organize it well and make it as concise as possible. But that's why I'm adding a star (⭐️) next to all the scenes that explicitly support the Byler agenda, in case you want to scroll past the rest and only focus on what you came here for!

Without further ado, let's start out with...

The First Lie motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: D D# D A# C F A# C

Track 1: The First Lie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S5-J7BLoIY)

Scene A: Jonathan And Nancy get together (S2E6) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Both of them are denying their feelings for each other • Love: And those feelings are romantic in nature • Subversion of expectations: They discover that their feelings are requited! • Atypical Relationship: Nancy, a popular and conventionally attractive character, ends up with Jonathan, the outcast

Track 2: The First I love You (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y68LnSZ_j3M)

Scene A: Robin and Steve talk in the Bathroom (S4E7) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Steve believes he has a chance with Robin, Robin hasn’t told him the whole truth about her sexuality • Love: Steve has feelings for her, she has feelings for Tammy, the two of them love each other as best friends • Subversion of expectations: Robin wants to kiss girls!!! And Steve is surprised, but wholly accepts her, even as a straight guy in the 80s • Atypical Relationship: Platonic soulmates <3

⭐️ Scene B: El Tells Mike she loves him and says goodbye (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Their relationship had been damaged by the fact that Mike lied in order to avoid seeing her / getting into trouble with Hopper • Love: El forgives Mike, says that she loves him, and tries to repair their relationship • Subversion of expectations: El admits to having heard Mike when he said that he loved her, back in episode 6 • Atypical Relationship: It wouldn’t be very atypical for a straight guy to get back with his straight girlfriend after a brief break-up, would it? So maybe this relationship isn't as hetero as it- [gunshots]

Scene C: Joyce and Hopper Kiss (S4E9) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Up until this moment they’ve been dancing around each other since season 1, not quite being honest or upfront about how they feel • Love: But now they finally have their moment and make it official! • Subversion of expectations: We’ve seen it coming for years, sure, but considering where they started, their relationship was an unlikely one • Atypical Relationship: Joyce, the high-strung, divorced, single mom, and Hopper, the troubled, divorced, adoptive dad, certainly make a unique pair together

Kids motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: G A# F A# G A# F A#, and/or F G F D C A# C A#

Track 1: Kids (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha2OcL_0gtM)

⭐️ Scene A: The party finishes up their D&D game, “It was a seven” (S1E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Lucas urges Will to lie to Mike about his roll • Love: Little Will cares about his friendship with Mike too much to lie to him • Subversion of expectations: He’s honest, and admits that he only rolled a seven, even if it means he lost the campaign • Atypical relationship: Oh, you know. :)

Scene B: The kids disguise El so she can go out in public (S1E5) This scene doesn’t match very well ❌ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The kids are disguising El’s true identity so they can bring her to their school • Love: The four of them are beginning to trust one another; the boys trust El to help them find Will, they're bonding as friends • Subversion of expectations: The boys (but Mike specifically) are surprised with the degree of El's glowup • Atypical relationship: Mike thinks El is pretty, even though the rest of the party is still a little apprehensive towards her

Scene C: Mike, Lucas, and El make up after their fight in the previous episode (S1E7) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: El had been misleading the boys to keep them away from the lab • Love: The friends are all sorry for what they did, and care too much about each other to stay mad • Subversion of expectations: They’re able to reconcile • Atypical relationship: Even after a pretty serious fight, the friends are back together again, stronger than ever

Scene D: The party finally gets to play D&D again at the end of season 1 (S1E8) This scene doesn’t match very well ❌ (But, it’s excusable because the main purpose it serves here is to parallel the first scene from episode 1- matching this narrative pattern is probably a secondary concern) • Misassumption/dishonesty: The campaign is over too soon, the kids feel like it’s not a truthful finale; there are loose ends left to be resolved in the story • Love: The friends are finally back together again, having fun, enjoying each others’ company, healing • Subversion of expectations: Will is able to defeat the monster this time • Atypical relationship: Even after everything they went through, they made it out OK and are still the best of friends

Scene E: Dustin reminds Mike to look for some change before going to the arcade (S2E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike avoids Dustin’s questions of why he’s on an unusual channel on the walkie talkie, and why he hasn’t been looking for quarters to bring to the arcade • Love: Mike is still grieving El • Subversion of expectations: He hadn’t been looking for quarters because he was busy trying to contact her • Atypical relationship: He still feels guilty for having lost her, more so than the rest of his friends. He believes she’s out there, even after a year has passed

Scene F: The kids work together to assemble Cerebro (S3E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The kids don’t quite believe Dustin is being honest about actually having a girlfriend  • Love: But he does! He actually is in a relationship • Subversion of expectations: Suzie doesn’t answer • Atypical relationship: A nerdy mormon and an agnostic with no collarbone; an unlikely pair!

Track 2: Kids Two (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PydvdEdGwE)

Scene A: El and Max spy on the boys (S3E3) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: The girls are secretly spying on the guys • Love: They’re talking about their relationship troubles • Subversion of expectations: They’re doing a terrible job of trying to win El and Max back; putting all the blame on the girls, talking about how they're a "different species", all while eating chips and generally being gross • Atypical relationship: Elmax bonds over having dumb ex-boyfriends, even after their friendship's rocky start in the previous season :3

Scene B: Robin sees Vickie at Warzone (S1E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Robin thinks she has a chance with Vickie  • Love: She’s about to make a move and talk to her crush… • Subversion of expectations: …but Vickie has a boyfriend. • Atypical relationship: Queerness!! And the fact that Vickie gets distracted by Robin, probably has a bit of a crush on her too, even though she's currently in a relationship

Scene C: Robin & Vickie make sandwiches (S4E9) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Robin is initially fairly certain now that she DOESN’T have a chance with Vickie • Love: But unbeknownst to her, they're almost definitely endgame • Subversion of expectations: Vickie admits that she ended things with her boyfriend  • Atypical relationship: Imminent 80s Lesbians!!!!!!!!

Track 3: Teens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3JICAZAEBs)

Scene A: Suzie changes Dustin’s Latin grade (S4E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Suzie and Dustin are cheating his Latin grade by hacking into the school’s computer system  • Love: The two of them are still together :3 • Subversion of expectations: Suzie decides that her relationship with Dustin is worth more than being entirely morally virtuous, so she changes the grade for him • Atypical relationship: The unlikely pair of the mormon and the agnostic strike again!

Track 4: In The Closet (At Rink O Mania) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lwl-HPNQFLc)

⭐️ Scene A: Mike and Will argue at the roller rink (S4E1) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike’s upset that Will and El haven’t been honest about the bullying • Love: Will just misses his best friend and is upset that their relationship / communication over the past year has been strained. And he’s in love. • Subversion of expectations: “We’re friends! We’re friends.”(AKA, Mike has been struggling with his feelings just as much as Will has) • Atypical relationship: Queerness!! We can be fairly certain now that they totally feel the same way about each other, even if neither will admit it.  

Scene B: …but also El hides in the closet at the roller rink (S4E1) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: El had been hiding the fact that she was being bullied • Love: This lie has has driven a wedge even deeper between her and her boyfriend • Subversion of expectations: She decides to go confront Angela • Atypical relationship: El, the humiliated victim, decides to stand up to her bully, Angela, instead of letting her get the final word

Track 5: Home (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdcV1u6RUh4)

Scene A: Hopper takes El in (S2E3) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: Hopper wants to give El a place to stay where she can hide from the people looking for her / Hopper discreetly puts away a box labeled “Sarah”, hinting at a more personal reason for taking her in than he lets on • Love: He cares about El like he’d care for his own daughter  • Subversion of expectations: Even though he's a supposedly hardened and lazy police chief, he cares about El enough to go through the effort of fixing up the cabin to give her a place to stay • Atypical relationship: Found family :’)

Scene B: This song also plays during the scene where Robin sees Vickie at Warzone (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • [See Kids Two, scene B]

Track 6: What’s The Internet? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqx4idF4ObE)

Scene A: The Hellfire Club and Lucas’ team celebrate their victories (S4E1) This scene matches moderately well 🤔 • Misassumption/dishonesty: The basketball team and the Hellfire club both thought they were screwed • Love: Despite the looming potential for failure, everyone’s having fun and feeling included within their groups, they love their hobbies and their friends • Subversion of expectations: Both teams won their respective games despite the odds! • Atypical relationship: Lucas still hangs in the balance between the two teams, feeling unsure about which of his friend groups he should prioritize

Track 7: [Unreleased song, but the Kids motif is faintly audible towards the end]

⭐️ Scene A: El and Mike argue over Mike not being able to say “I love you” (S4E2) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/dishonesty: Mike’s refusing to acknowledge that he can’t say the words, he’s lying about how he really feels • Love: Their relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend is finally starting to show cracks, as its fundamental flaws are presented front and center • Subversion of expectations: Their relationship isn’t as perfect as we’d been led to believe • Atypical relationship: They’re on the verge of a breakup, but that's really what's best for the two of them

and finally...

Being Different Motif

The dominating melody in these tracks is: A# D F D A# D D# D, and/or A# D F A# D F A F

Track 1: Being Different (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o29YLtS_NA)

⭐️ Scene A: Mike and Will talk in the van (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • Misassumption/Dishonesty: Will lies, using El’s name to hide his own feelings • Love: And those feelings are his love for Mike :’( • Subversion of expectations: It’s now overwhelmingly clear that Will is canonically gay and in love with Mike  • Atypical Relationship: Well, it doesn’t sound all that atypical for the sad gay boy to have fallen for his straight best friend (who is obviously straight because he’s in a relationship with a girl), so what if Mike- [gunshots]

Track 2: I Like Presents Too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trSjkqM0VT4) (I’m not positive about this one, but I swear I hear similarities between Being Different and this song? Especially between 1:52 - 2:05 in Being Different, and 0:38 - 1:00 in this song)

⭐️Scene A: This song also plays during the scene where El Tells Mike she loves him and says goodbye (S4E8) This scene matches well! ✅ • [See The First I love You, scene B]

Okay. And that's all of them! I hope I've made my point. The fact that every single one of these 11 songs and the 22 scenes they appear in are connected both musically and thematically cannot be a coincidence. And by simply tracing the pattern, it's pretty easy to see that these connections hint at the fact that there's something more that we're not explicitly seeing between Mike, El, and Will's relationships, which has no other explanation besides Byler endgame. Let's review- by applying what we know about the pattern to Byler and M/ileven scenes, we can infer that:

When El kisses Mike at the end of season 3, it isn't meant to be taken at face-value. There's something atypical about their relationship, and it's the fact that despite saying the words, it doesn't change the fact that neither of them are in love with each other, not romantically, even if they think they should be.

When Will tells Mike he rolled a seven and lost the battle in the first episode of season 1, it's more than just Will being a good friend. There's a deeper connection- something atypical compared to Will's relationships with his other friends, because this is Will being in love with Mike before he even understood what those feelings meant.

During their fight at Rink O Mania in season 4, they're not just arguing about Will being dishonest or Mike not staying in touch. There's something deeper under the surface that they're dancing around, unaddressed feelings on both ends, something more atypical than just two friends who drifted apart. At the root of their frustration is the fact that they both believe the other doesn't feel the same.

Mike said it himself- when he and El argue over the fact that he can't say "I love you" to her, this was a fight they can't come back from. Because it's been made clear to them that their relationship isn't romantic anymore, it's atypical in the sense that they realize this whole thing between them has just been a heteronormative charade they were pressured into, rather than something they really wanted or needed.

When Will delivers his veiled love confession in the back of the van in season 4, we're led to believe that this is him ripping off the bandaid, because Mike is supposedly happiest with El and he'll never see Will the way Will sees him. But this interpretation is incorrect, because there's something very very atypical about the way Mike stares longingly into Will's eyes, completely mesmerized, in a way that he's never looked at his own girlfriend despite allegedly being so in love with her. Mike is in love, but there's no denying anymore that the love he feels is for Will, not El.

Of course, none of these interpretations of these scenes are new or anything. But the fact that we now have solid proof that all of them are actually intentionally connected? They all share linked music and follow the same pattern?? That, I think, is revolutionary.

But of course we're not done yet.

Because as lengthy as it is, this isn't a finished analysis. Now, if you've made it this far into my mad and delusional (yet strongly supported by evidence) rantings and ravings, you're probably just as excited about this breakthrough as I am. So if you're thinking about exploring the theory yourself, I have a few suggestions on where to start, because there's a good number of things that I haven't fully looked into yet! Most notably, there are several tracks that sound like they almost fit with the ones I already identified as being part of soundtrackgate, or they have similar vibes, but just aren't similar enough to make it into the list. Some of them I've tried to mix with The First Lie, Kids, etc, but came up empty-handed. There songs are:

Journalistic Instinct

Boys and Girls

Feel Safe

First Kiss

Presumptuous

My BOOBS Hurt

A Kiss

I wouldn't remember me either

Eight Fifteen

Walkin in Hawkins (i really really really hate this song for no justifiable reason please don't make me listen to it any more than I had to this is my one exception)

This Isn't You

Blank Makes You Crazy

Weirdly enough, out of these twelve, there are exactly three tracks from each season. Does that mean anything? No clue. Odd, though.

For all you eightfifteengate truthers, I tried really, really hard to mix the track Eight Fifteen with any of the established songs... but all I got was a pretty resounding muddy mess of a failure. Which sucks, because it sounds like it should work! Unfortunately, I don't think Eight Fifteen is part of soundtrackgate. However! I did notice that it sounds very very similar to the track Presumptuous, which is interesting. Here's the best I got, for what it's worth:

If you want to take another look at these songs and try to prove me wrong, please do!! Maybe there's a pattern within them that I didn't catch. And if you ask, I'll be happy to try my hand at combining any tracks you think would work together!

Other than that, there are a few interesting little details I noticed while perusing the OST. Maybe they mean something, maybe they don't, but I thought they were worth mentioning! Feel free to investigate if any of these pique your interest:

Like I mentioned earlier, Eight Fifteen and Presumptuous both contain the same melody

Blank Makes You Crazy and I Need You to Trust Me are both songs tied to scenes where we see evidence of the stained relationship between Mike and El, and they’re both in the same key; F Major

Not Kids Anymore plays during the Byler rain fight in s3, AND when Dustin and Mike refuse to go to Lucas’ game in s4

As far as I can tell, the song Destroying The Castle only plays one time other than when Will takes a bat to Castle Byers- it also plays in S4E9 when Hopper is about to use himself as bait for the demodogs, but assures Joyce that he’ll be alright 

On The Bus almost definitely does not match with any of the other songs, but I feel like this particular track is important and worth looking into regardless, so I’m mentioning it here.

You’re The Heart does not sound similar, mix well with, or parallel Being Different, let alone ANY of the established soundtrackgate songs. I just don’t hear it, sorry.

Eulogy and Letter to Willy sound very very similar

Journalistic Instinct and Boys and Girls sound very very similar

Still Pretty, the song that plays in season 1 when Mike reassures El that she looks pretty without the wig, also plays in season 4 while they talk in the pizza shop, right before they get interrupted by Argyle.

Okay. I think that covers it, for now. Thank you so much for reading, seriously, I poured my soul into this so it means a lot!!! I hope it all made enough sense. MASSIVE shoutout to what-song.com for its list of all the songs that appear in each ST episode, in order, complete with listing what minute each song appears in, providing a 30-second sample of each song, and a description of the scene that occurs during it. It SAVED MY LIFE no joke. Also big shoutout to bilibili.tv, my platform of choice for sailing the seven seas of content of questionable legality; I used it liberally to pull up all the scenes I had to analyze lol

#babe wake up new gate just dropped #soundtrackgate #but also seriously this is a huge deal and i do not say that lightly #it's a massive breakthrough into completely new territory #and it is anything but delusional #sit down strap in because this is long #my seven byler mutuals please don't let this flop #long post #for reference i'm a slow reader and this took me about 12 minutes to read (not including the time it takes to listen to the music) #anyway we can all agree that the song playing during byler's first kiss is going to be yet another variation of these songs right? #right #byler #stranger things ost #stranger things music #kyle dixon #michael stein #byler analysis #byler music #byler theory #stranger things analysis #stranger things

[dayurno]

my advice for anyone whos growing more and more frustrated with the state of aftg and fandom at large is that arguing is fun but you need to be happy. ok. you need to. its hard when bad faith takes are dropped to your doorstep but you need to be happy and enjoy yourself and have fun or there's no point in anything at all ever. ok. fandom is not real and nothing is worth more than your enjoyment. i love you please make sure to have fun and reach out to a friend today. for me

#this goes doubly for fans of color if i'm honest #i say this bc a lot of my mutuals either currently or in the past have been very upset about how the fandom acts #and ive Done My Rounds with that ok #ive survived great wars even. and they did not make me happy #yes i was right and yes i should have said it but ultimately there was no material harm to choosing to have fun instead #lifes hard as it is in the real world where real things happen why would you waste your precious fun time on fighting crusades #and trust me i understand deeply the wish to fight crusades. Ive Fought Them. it got me hate mail and #an overall loss of passion for something i held sincerely in my heart #theres nothing more worthy than your enjoyment im serious. none of this is real and the world is hard out there #you need to get a good thing while u can #i dont remember a single time where ive actually felt vindicated by arguing with people online about. anything really but even more so aftg #but i remember in perfect and fond detail every time the (now defunct) kandreil discord server came up with an au #or even just normal casual conversation #i remember asks i got years ago about kevin day hcs that i hardly even agree with now but still love #trust me you will Not remember these squabbles what you will remember is what you loved and if youre lucky thats a lot of memories #so have fun ok. for me #txt

[pansyfemme]

i think this time of year is cursed

#last year i got horribly sick and depressed #this year i had to flee my dorm and miss classes to keep myself safe from harassment until i could work out moving times #im so fucking angry i am fuming i am furious i want to scream #i did absolutly nothing to deserve this. this wasnt a mutual argument this wasn’t a bad roomate thing this was a person using the fact that #i am a traumatized trans person to intimidate and harass me and make me feel unwelcome in my housing #i feel sick with rage. #im well liked on campus im doing fantastic in all my classes i am doing everything i can #and one person decided he hated me and fucked up my entire semester #the good thing is i am never sleeping there again. i am not returning to that dorm until i am there to move out and i am greatful #but im just so upset about the whole thing. #everyone on campus agrees i did nothing. that i didnt cause this. but i still have to carry the burden of moving #he will be talked to and i dont think he will ever feel welcome on campus after this but i am so angry he thinks so little of me he thought #he could make my life hell and face no punishment for it.

[bredforloyalty]

honestly um ,. one part of me understands why those posts were made but, are these poser incest enthusiasts in the room with us now

#jcdrgcy #like where do you get these people from and are you sure they're real and it's not a misunderstanding #i do think it still doesn't get you clout and just because now a community exists in a form it didn't 3-4 years ago*‚ this doesn't make it #mainstream ahaha #*: this is just according to my observations like i'm sure there were communities at all times on the internet‚ somewhere‚ #of various sizes‚ many different ones of them‚ i meant the circle of 20smth mutuals we have now which isn't a circle because some bloggers #are just tangentially related or just in one fandom and it's debatable if it could even be called a community #i just know i didn't have so many friends who agreed with me and accepted me a few years ago and now a lot of us interact regularly #but i don't see how.. dead dove or grooming or necro or even the genuinely gothic or tragic would be. becoming cooler? #🤔 #idk enlighten me about what all of this means if you can and you want to #kata.txt

[ink-yy]

yooo whoever is on anon and bugging me about hazbin hotel. no i dont like it and i havent watched it but im NOT gonna police other peoples expriences?????? or be rude about what others enjoy or like??????

like you can enjoy hazbin and helluva and not support vivzie!!!! like if my mutuals reblog or draw characyers from the show?? ill gladly reblog their art and go 'wow this is sucha. cool drawing ^_^ awsum job'

enjoy your show and stuff lol

#rant #LIKE I DO NOT CARE THAT MUCH!!!!! #i love being a lover more than a hater trust me #people can have Other likes and Opinons and i wont be like 'GRRAAHHH YOU DONT AGREE WITH ME BLOCKBLOCK YOURE DONE!!!!!!!!!' #im not a TWITTER user #okay mutuals lets hold hands now lol

[silenthillbunni]

🌧️🫧💭

#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me #which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye #🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad #nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone #i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me #ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao #also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀 #like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid #why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way #me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me #i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me #it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave #nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive #ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like #all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think #i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself #but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T #idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do #anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul #but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao #i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down #they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how #to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year #i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak #es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that #maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this

[fujii-draws]

<<<< (trying so hard to hold back saying how much I dislike chatot and wished he was better written)

#LIKE. #MMMMMMMM #I think I just. might spill my thoughts #and anyone can agree or disagree with me. I legit do not mind. #JUST. he could’ve been a great character but he falls off so bad for me. #but my hate for him has negated over the months bc of certain mutuals opening my eyes. #just. auughh #it’s my blog. I can do whatever but eh #just to get it out of my system!!! #NOT AN ATTACK ON CHATOT LIKERS BTW HSKCJCKSNDKCJS. JUST. AUUGHHH #I WISH HE WAS BETTER!!! I WANTED TO LIKE HIM!!

[karinyosa]

okay the website of my local church w the pride flags out front actually really slaps they have like 5000000 choirs and a page on their specific beliefs that is pretty slay actually, unfortunately for the part of my brain that thinks choosing to do this is insane for me

#like to be honest it seems very tailored to the things i would like to get out of going to church if i were to actually follow through on #this #particularly their attitude toward doubt and sin #doubt is welcome and even an expression of faith? intriguing! #sin is a part of what makes us human? thats what i think! #i however relish in sin and this may make me incompatible with ANY church #perhaps their response would be that what i was taught was sin is not actually sin and we will see if that sticks to me or not #i dont really like the concept of sin regardless of whether god is forgiving about it or not but i guess that would lead me to the last tag #like if we can agree that certain things are bad then sure i guess theoretically i can get on board with the concept of sin #there are some reads of the bible that lean more leftist or queer that intrigue me but which i don't know much about #if anywhere's gonna be open to that it'd probably be this church #they've got a food pantry as well which is nice. like as a church you SHOULD be doing mutual aid i think but you know #i think i would always relish in being a little blasphemous though. thats the spice of life thats why im alive #im rereading this. who the fuck says relish #thank god for the industriously cautious part of my brain though because i'm doing so much fucking research before even daring to step foot #in there #on the sect and on the church itself #i think this would be very much a me reading the bible to shape it to my life and beliefs thing rather than the opposite #maybe the real reason i want to go to church is so i can dom god #karinyo.txt

[toothblushes]

Love seeing people demonize personality disorders on my dash Love it to death. Definitely doesn't boil my blood at all lmao Apparently ableism is totally fine and cool if it's towards people with "unfavorable" symptoms!

#seeing someone who was a mutual of mine reblogging posts that are unashamedly ableist towards cluster b personality disorders had me like #HELLO??? AGREEING WITH THIS RIGHT TO MY FACE??? #like I've come a loooooong fucking way with healing and controlling my “toxic” symptoms #but seeing people treat those with personality disorders as if they can just “get over it” and having tons of people agree with them is jus #heartbreaking to say the least #Like as if people with these disorders are doing it on purpose #fucking wild to me how willing people are to be understanding towards mentally ill people until that mental illness hurts their feelings #sorry to be negative on here but I'm so god damn tired of the hypocrisy lol #tw//ablelism #vent

[rotisseries]

how I've been feeling lately to be real🤪

#me when I said “yeah sex isn't real to me like these are just words I'm saying” and the aroace mutual agrees. 👁👄👁 #it's not my business though cause I'm not getting any LMAOOO #it's like. I don't actually want sex I want to want sex do you get it I want a situation where I want sex. is that tmi. this is my blog #and I have absolutely played up my reaction to physical attractiveness for comedic effect and ok we're getting too into it now #anyway the thought has crossed my mind more than once I just don't need to know myself like that #I can find out when it's relevant

[showinalittlelife]

another unpopular aot opinion that the mutuals will disagree with is every time someone picks levi over eren an angel loses its wings.

#IM SORRY #like i rlly am #but PEOPLE WAKE UP #levi is cool & all that #BUT EREN????? #i dont get it. i dont get how anyone can watch aot and not have eren as their fav #like just look at him #levi is traumatised yes lovely #but eren. that’ll always be my argument. #GET REAL PEOPLE #pls also I love levi dont get me wrong hes in my top 5 #but eren. #everything about this silly little guy has me in a chokehold #im just heart eyeing him always #also ik at least 2 mutuals agree so kisses to u both #the rest can have kisses too even if they disagree

[roseofcards90]

My sole goal rn is to manifest 0610 reactions in the milgram narrative so I can have the tragic yuri

#here’s my big brain prediction: Kotoko becomes ultimate failgirl after being voted guilty in t2 #she’s distraught all the people she beat up are now innocent and she has been deemed guilty by the same person she was being the fang for #she becomes super aimless and depressed maybe even more insane in t3 because girlfailures be like that #enter Mappi who’s basically like “I can fix her” and she’s the only one who routinely hangs out #with Kotoko since like it’s not like she’s on good terms with anyone else rn 😭 #this can go one of two ways: they actually have a functioning and decent relationship #or they become super codependent for each other because both of them need therapy and we don’t have that here #either way they should kiss and thus save each other in the end #my himejoshi mutuals would agree with me even if they have no idea what I’m talking about 😭 #hey Yamanaka if you see this—*shot* #my posts

[mcity-xe]

You see..

I love my mutuals

I really do

but

how in the ever living fuck do some of you find Christian Pulišić hot?????

#like nothing against the dude but mf is not attractive to me at all #(did i post this so someone can harras me in my inbox so i can chause havoc? YES.) #(will i still like my mutuals posts about him? yes. i am a supportive mutual (mostly. if i do not agree w wjat you posted i will not cause-) #(-drama about it. simple as that)) #YALL HARRAS ME IM BORED #PLEASE #I NEED DRAMA

[dreamlogic]

quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.

#ctxt #shit chat #they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years #but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch #one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on #and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing #and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate #person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you? #person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much #*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat* #like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity #and is generally a healthy communication habit #but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up??? #and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day #calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things #instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent #which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things #while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up #i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together #and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years #before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.