#i say this bc a lot of my mutuals either currently or in the past have been very upset about how the fandom acts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pocima · 1 month

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Reol is one pathetic, thickheaded sellout. I have not had an artist breakup like this since The Neighbourhood. Imagine working on an infamous pedophile’s series’ remake and THANKING said pedophile just when you were given the benefit of the doubt (Nobuhiro Watsuki, author of Rurouri Kenshin). Imagine hopping on a track (while we’re at it calling it extremely mediocre would be generous) of a Vtuber with such a racist past that a producer who simply sent her company a beat felt the need to apologize and stopped promoting that song. The Vtuber in question (Mori Calliope) did a half-baked “apology” when called out and then went on to complain about “cancel culture” in a song, instantly disproving any possible remorse. Most recently (yesterday), imagine collaborating with McDonalds when they’re on the official BDS list when there’s no excuse for ignorance as there are extremely frequent protests and events for Palestine in Japan. When there are numerous Japanese artists expressing their support for the freedom of Palestinians. Seeing this come from someone who considers herself a minority and has spoken out against racism before, either she really lost any bit of the common sense she had in 2023, or just as believably if not more, she really was fake and performative throughout her entire career. I found myself to be fond of her early last year and I can certainly say I personally witnessed an incredibly laughable downfall, both music and more importantly morals wise. I don’t know if I can say I blame myself because nobody saw this coming and I wasn’t put onto this Earth to keep a 30 year old woman’s behavior in check, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t regret supporting her and recommending her throughout a time period of around a year, because I truly do. May her platform be diminished sooner or later.

Proof:

So that’s why I’ve been posting less and less about this lady in the past couple of months and what the username change was truly about… I’ve been finding out more and more about these incidents and stopped supporting her in private. I am responsible for and deeply regret not posting about this earlier (minus the McDonalds collab bc as I mentioned it happened yesterday and I’d post about the Kenshin thing immediately if I’d found out she personally thanked that creature though I was disgusted either way) and thought just removing her from my pinned would suffice, since that’s what I do when I no longer like an artist as to not give them attention at all and bc few of my mutuals are into her anyway but the MCD was the last straw for a post like this (as I mentioned I haven’t been listening to her at all for a while now). I realized I used to post about her more frequently than I remember and it didn’t feel right to just not call out someone I used to like as opposed to notoriously problematic figures I’ve disliked for a long while. I’m doing this because I DID use to give her lots of positive attention only to find out she didn’t deserve it, and I simply do not stand by it anymore. And I’m not calling all of my current faves unproblematic perfect angels either bc that’s frankly untrue, however her shameless check-chasing has reached revolting levels. If I have ever recommended her music to you, don’t even bother.

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aimless-aimz · 11 months

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MAJOR GREATFUL RAMBLING INBOUND BC I GET A LITTLE FUNKY PAST MIDNIGHT

read more bc i don’t know how long I’m going to talk about how much i love you guys

so the reason i’m so happy right now is it’s currently midnight; the start of my birthday and recently i’ve been really unmotivated and depressed but i’ve been talking to my online friends a lot through this and let me tell you- 😭😭

all of my mutuals are the most kind people ever. i’m not naming names but from the bunch i kept from YouTube, near exactly one year ago, to friends I’m making through shared fandoms and being more open.

all of the people i’ve met here are the nicest people ever and i really don’t know what i’d do without all of you guys. I’ve had so much fun with you and I still do, literally smiling so stupidly when i see one of you guys reblog one of my stupid ass posts with tags saying “lfmao” and shit like that. i get so happy when I see one of you guys dm me, either on discord or through tumblr. it’s been a year since I joined the internet- joining on the 20th and turning older a few days later!

if i hadn’t made these accounts i wouldn’t be as happy as i am today. not even close to it. that’s why i want you guys to know how much you mean to me. i literally would commit ATROCIOUS CRIMES to see you guys in person and give you a fucking huge hug.

i’m kinda tearing up?? it’s entirely out of joy though bc it’s just?? it’s been a whole year. i never thought I’d be able to interact with people on the internet because of my (previously) strict parents (they have loosened up considerably lmao)- i had always dreamed of making stupid animations with silly little friends and now i finally have that?? i’m meeting new people every day and i’m just so ecstatic to be here

seriously, thank you all. those who i know personally, or literally just some guy who liked my drawings and hit like. feeling seen and not being judged for what i like is so refreshing 😭

but- yeah ramble over. but just bc the ramble is over it doesn’t mean that this doesn’t stop being true. even for those who i get out of touch with for those who i talk only a bit with, you still played and still play a crucial part in my life. thank you, so so much.

#not goin in the talking tag lmao #literally ly all sm #again I’m feeling sappy rn #It gets like this on personal anniversaries #i like celebrating my own snap achievements. this was life changing being on the internet and i want you guys to know #literally kissing you in the forehead/p

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gentlenotes-moved · 2 months

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So glad to hear that you finally have answers! I'm sure it's gonna make everything at least a bit easier to deal with! I hope that whichever plan of action your doctors now decide to take works quickly and without any problems for you. Beautiful souls like yours don't deserve to be in agony 😓😣

And don't you even dare feel guilty for not coming on Tumblr much now. Your health, physical and mental, is the most important thing!!!

(Me? I've been... existing 😅)

(also, I didn't realise we were mutuals until like a minute ago lol)

first of all, so sorry for the late response! and even if you are just existing, i hope that this existence is treating you gently and lovingly 💗 (and yeah! we're moots now yay!! <3)

but yeah, a definitive answer is really nice. a few days ago they actually sent in a letter saying: "visceral hypersensitivity/overactive nerves sending inappropriate signals to the brain. There is actually no acid reflux." he said it's best treated with low dosages of antidepressants. he also recommended me to get testing done for gastroparesis, and if that comes back "unremarkable", we'll focus treatments on functional dyspepsia.

i have noticed lately that i have had really bad brain fog, esp since this has all started. i've been having a really hard time concentrating, almost constantly fatigued, zone out a fuck ton more than i usually do, and am asking people to repeat themselves quite literally every time they speak, because it all sounds like absolute gibberish. also, (tmi warning), in the past 4 months, i have only had one (1) period that lasted one (1) day. one day. it wasn't even a heavy flow either. my last regular period was when the day this whole situation started, in late november. and i'm currently exactly 3 weeks late for one. like i get the cramps and everything that you get with a period, except the blood.

so... i think this whole brain and nerve thing is going a LOT deeper than just my dyspepsia like systems. i haven't brought any of this up to my doctor, but the next time i see her, i'm gonna. but i have no damn clue what i'm gonna do at this point tbh. (personal/family rant incoming)

my dad is one of those extremely die-hard conservative trumpers, and a MASSIVE conspiracy theorist (just search up qanon; it'll explain everything i'm about to tell you). he was extremely against me getting the endoscopy, saying that my mom and i didn't mention me getting anesthesia (i did mention multiple times throughout the week before I got it done bc he was so damn worried), and him and my mom fought the morning I got the endoscopy done, just before we left.

when we got back, it was absolute hell for about a week, for my mom and i both. he told me that we betrayed him and that someone 'gave me permission' to not follow his instruction (I am 18 when he tells me this btw). then he said that if my mom and i ever question his rules or instruction again, he'll leave us or, worse, [a threat that i don't feel comfortable sharing here] for a week, he accused me of working for my mom's past sexual abuser, and of things i also don't feel comfortable sharing here. and then a week later, everything is perfectly fine. just like that. i'm used to extremely sudden mood and emotion changes in this family; i've been dealing with it for about a decade now (verbal abuse followed by lots of affection through words and gifts over and over). but this isn't my problem at the moment.

throughout the week, i also told him that i considered surgery for my gerd. he then proceeded to tell me that if i even considered doing that, or whatever the doctors say, i'm a retard, and that i clearly don't need him anymore (bc im not following his instruction) and he'll just leave us. and that we don't need him, we just have to "say the words" and he'll be out. so.

when we got this letter, he kept on saying how dumb and uneducated my doctors are (my dad's a high school drop out btw). i don't exactly remember what he said, but it was something to the effect of me needing to drink more water and eat healthier food, but I told him that's what we started with when i found out I had gerd and IBS 5 years ago, and it did nothing. he stood there, silent, for a solid 10 seconds before saying "......you know antidepressants can change your change you and fuck you up forever, right?". and at that point i just kind of gave up.

also my mom was attempting to explain the letter to my dad in the car ride home from picking her up from work, but she said he kept yelling and interrupting her, and just not listening to any explanationa she had to give; i wasn't there for that part.

but in conclusion: i know i'm 18 and can make my own decisions. i know he can't legally stop me from anything now. but for some stupid, insanely stupid reason, i just subconsciously hold my dad's validation more important than my lifelong health.

i even told my mom about all of this, that i'm stuck between my dad's acceptance and my lifelong health, but i also can't seem to say anything either way that will make him happy. And she just said "we'll you're fucked (with making my dad happy), either way, right? why don't you pick the one that comes with you being healthy?" and that actually straightened it out a bit for me.

but like. i still feel IMMENSE guilt whenever i do something that displeases or angers him even in the slightest. i don't know why im hanging my entire self worth one person, him, and i know just how fucked up it is. but it's like i can't stop. i just... i don't know. the situation just seems to be 'do i take care of myself, and him be angered towards me/leave me, or do i neglect my better judgement for the acceptance of my father?'

so that's what i'm currently dealing with at the moment lmfao. thank you so, so much for the ask, and i'm sorry the response was a college final essay. i sincerely hope with all my heart that today/tonight treats you well. 💞

#mine #personal #asks 💌#girl that writes #did i mention that my dad's side the family has a deeply embedded history of paranoia #and multiple different mental illnesses and personality disorders lol

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ratkiing-a · 10 months

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN !!

NAME : chuck or charlie !! funny enough i started going by charlie before my always sunny hyperfixation started. also, my fiance's name is dee which i just think is hilarious.

PRONOUNS : he/him/his & it/its.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord is for sure the easiest way to get in touch with me, i tend to reply quicker there !! ims are fine though, my activity is just a tad more sporadic there.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE : currently, that muse would be charlie ( and everyone gasped ) !! however i've been having a bit more inspiration for dennis over on my sideblog. in the past, my loudest muses have been skunk and hiroto over on my multi. i was honestly really surprised when charlie took over my brain bc i've been so used to hiroto being my loudest muse for so long.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS : oh brother, i don't really even know anymore. i started writing on tumblr in like ... 2013 i believe. i've been off and on the site for so long i can't really figure out how many years total.

BEST EXPERIENCE : i think i'd have to say meeting all of my mutuals and becoming friends with y'all !! i've really met some lovely people in the rpc and i am so thankful that i did. i can really consider some of you true friends (':

RP PET PEEVE : the first thing that comes to mind is a lack of patience. like, pressure for ic and ooc replies and not understanding that i do have a life outside of writing. that always grinds my gears.

PLOTS OR MEMES : both work lovely for me. i do adore plotting but sometimes my brain is simply soup and it's hard for me to think of how to get plotting started. memes are a super good way to kickstart an interaction with me, it's part of the reason why i love reblogging them !! it gives me a good place to start and i've really created some lovely plots with my rp partners from inbox memes/prompts.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : it truly depends on the vibe !! i can either write a huge multi paragraph reply or just a shorter couple sentence one. it all depends on how much charlie is thinking, or what all he wants to say. it varies depending on interaction. i'm totally okay with both tho, reply length has never been something that has been super important to me.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES : i am more like charlie kelly than i want to admit, tbh. it's not a bad thing at all !! we just tend to have the same coping mechanisms ( cough cough drinking too much ), and i relate a lot to charlie with his feelings of being different or isolated. we also share a similar brand of humor, to. and care about our friends more than anything !! thankfully for me, my friends are great and it's nothing close to what he goes through with the gang <;3

TAGGED BY: @antigodeus & @k4ndallTAGGING: @inhabets, @americanedpsycho, @gateway31, @hcavcnswept, @pnkb1tch, @goofily, @whomuses, @sovereyn & you !!

#chuck speaks.#alcohol mention //#alcoholism //#anyone who i tagged that has already answered just ignore this hehe #i cannot remember who has been tagged and who hasnt woopsies #this was so fun tho !!!

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nicollekidman · 1 year

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🔥 rhaenyra and alicent

oh boy. this is gonna be my first relatively hot take… i enjoy it as added color and context for who rhaenyra and alicent are, and how they relate to each other. i think it’s fairly well baked into canon in every way it can possibly be at this point, and i’m so glad. it’s the single most important driving force in alicent’s life. that being said…. i don’t have much to contribute to it, conceptually, where we currently are in the narrative. personally. PERSONALLY. i am not at a point where childhood love is of interest to me, so a lot of the fan content/writing just. doesn’t appeal to me. absolutely love the potential it has where we’re going, where it’s curdled and violent and bitter, but the sweet Past vision of it holds no sway over me, and i just snooze through that piece of it. girlhood or repression or wanting to return to childhood are concepts i’m fond of but am no longer engaged by, so idk. love it, love them, don’t have anything new to say with the material we currently have. i think it’s cyclical and i’ll fall in love with that kind of dymanic again and it’s so important to consider when talking about either of them but. i’m content to watch my mutuals dig in deep, bc they don’t stir me like that rn bc i’m not an unrequited crush person.

within canon and not just fanon or my reaction…. they can never kiss. they can never have sex. there is no road that leads back to each other that either of them can take, and that’s what drives them! it’s like sooooooo imperative that nothing comes of that.

#i think 99% of this is bc it’s SOOOO past focused #once we get into their conflict currently it’ll pull me back #i just don’t care about childhood or unrequited crushes

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anonymolly · 10 months

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8, 15, 40, 71.

-T

8. Describe your crush

I always describe my dom who is no longer on here because I don’t like picking favorites among my mutuals (I have a handful of crushes because I am a softhearted slut). I will copy and paste and add some additional stuffs because I can always talk nice about him 🥰 I’ll bold the new things.

He is sweet and filthy and good with his hands and I love geeking out about D&D with him and because I am hormonal I am legally allowed to say that our kids would have the curliest brown hair and either big brown eyes or big blue ones if they were lucky enough to get his and my recessive genes. I love his voice and I love hearing about his day and I love how he makes me feel. I miss him lots even when we talk a bunch because I truly *cannot* get enough of him. I always feel so safe and comfortable with him and we’re currently working out some kinks in our communication but we’re always trying to be communicative about our feelings and our thoughts, it just doesn’t always mesh. I like him lots and he’s gorgeous and smart and funny and at any point in my life I would’ve wanted him as a friend. I feel really lucky that he’s around right now (even though I’m admittedly kind of a mess and not making a great impression) and I wouldn’t mind him staying forever. Eventually I’ll need glasses bc my eyesight is going and then we’ll have to worry about our glasses clinking and clanging but for now it’s just his specs (which I love, he looks SO GOOD in glasses oh my god I’m melting). He says he doesn’t mind my cold weather and my words leave him speechless and I give him butterflies (it’s mutual ahhhhh). He just makes me feel really comfortable exploring my feelings and my thoughts and my wants, and he always wants me to feel safe to be myself and focus on what I want/need. I sound like an 8 year old whenever I talk about him because aaaaaaaaaaaa head empty no thoughts just heart eyes but he’s really exceptionally lovely and even if he’s just some guy I want him to be MY guy yk? It’s almost enough to make me look past the fact that he is a Southerner (I’m a cunt from Boston)

15. Do you have any piercings?

I’ve got many! Right now, I have 20 (I also have a couple that are no longer in commission— a healed-over eyebrow piercing and a healed-over navel, so I’ve had 22 total but only 20 are still active). I think the only ones I have left that I want are a floating navel and a VCH, but I do miss my eyebrow frequently and I go back and forth on if I want a septum/Medusa/tongue.

But yeah— 20, mostly on my ears but also a nose ring and two nipple piercings. Here are the ears.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Ugh yes I write poems when I’m in love. And it’s annoying. The most recent one was from this winter and it’s Long and Bad. My best ones were from when I was in love with the cowgirl down the street when I worked at the deli/meat department. Unfortunately she is now dating a guy who is a cop. But! This morning I texted her saying I was craving the beef jerky she made for me ONCE, THREE YEARS AGO and she responded with “OH MY GOSH I JUST MADE MY FIRST BATCH OF THE YEAR YESTERDAY, HOW DID YOU KNOW” so apparently I am a WITCH confirmed. But yes I write dumb sappy poetry what of it

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I literally do not know, I very rarely remember my dreams. I remember one where I seduced my professor (who I was TAing for and taking classes with) and fucked him on the kitchen counter at his house while his wife was taking their sick child to the doctor. But idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for the asks, T 🥰

#asked and answered #me

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wooahaes · 1 year

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thank you for the tag @twogyuu !!

rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

oof okay so this one is already gonna be hard because... everything on this blog rn was released in the year 2022. idk how many fics that is, but its a ton.

also sorry you can tell when my mood seriously dropped off during this

5 works i’m most proud of from 2022

under the sun: yes, i know she’s not finished yet. i debated including her because of it, but i’m genuinely proud of what i’ve written for UtS so far!! hopefully i’ll finish the fic next year, thank you all for bearing with me as i finished off school since that too precedence over most things (+ sometimes i just need a break from longer projects like UtS), i’m hoping to have wonwoo’s part out soon! but i think there’s a lot in this fic that i’m definitely in love with, primarily the world building. i feel most in my element when i work on UtS and the vaguely supernatural background it has, all wrapped up with a sweeter romance in most cases. without spoiling anything, i’m genuinely excited to eventually get to cheol’s part. whether the series ends with his part or continues on to a different title for the alternate ending, i feel like cheol’s part functions as something encompassing a lot of what this series means.

lonely hearts club: ah, lhc. my beloved. i genuinely have such a soft spot for wonwoo, and this is actually a series written in full! its been a while since i’ve done one of those lmao. i think my writing has come a way since i wrote lhc, and i think if i were to rewrite it, there’s things i’d add in--but she has a special place in my heart nonetheless. writing wonwoo as someone who is soft and loving is genuinely just something i enjoy because i feel like i rarely see it sometimes. he’s just a big ole softie who’s quiet and i love it about him.

sweet night: another unfinished one, i know, but... i think there’s parts of sweet night that i genuinely enjoy writing a lot. i think it’s pretty telling how every fic i’ve listed so far is pretty damn plot heavy (because genuinely that is what i love writing!!) and this one is no different. plus, i think this one has a special place for me because it’s technically a collaborative piece with several anons from a mutual’s blog (if you see this, hi sol! hi anons! thank you again for giving me permission to write this fic!) and i think collaborative works are fun. but there’s also some heavier emotions that i do like addressing.

a mermaid’s kiss: a short one! but i do love her. idk i just love vague mermaid lore and joshua was a rly good fit for this au.

enouement / singing in the rain: ok so im linking both of these here bc SitR is a retelling of enouement as a skz fic. idk why i was abt to say both of these flopped when they did decent. i guess i just don’t hear much feedback on either of them? they both have a special place in my heart. enouement was the first long fic i posted and one i was excited to write, while the other was just one that i have some lines in that i really like.

4 current WIPs for the new year

the rest of under the sun + [potentially] shadow: ok im cheating here but genuinely i’m excited to eventually finish UtS and hopefully still have the juice to write what i’ve been titling shadow! it’s the alt ending, name currently pending. just assume any series i haven’t finished, i’m hoping to finish next year.

i can’t run away: a vernon fic that feels kinda venty. it’s angst with no happy ending. title also might change a little, but i do like keeping it as it is now.

[WORKING TITLE ALERT] 88/134: a bang chan fic! its another chubby!fem!reader long fic because i can’t be stopped. might change the title later, but it was a reference to apparently how long it takes people to fall in love (men 88 days, women 134 according to a study i have linked on the google doc)

topsy turvy: both versions even though one will be titled differently!! :)

3 biggest improvements

honestly? just motivating myself to write in general. sometimes i hit dry spells, sure, but i’ve been getting better about forcing myself to sit down and write most days.

idk i just feel like i’ve found my style a bit more. focusing on emotions within a plot just fits into what i enjoy writing the most.

properly planning things (most of the time) and sticking to writing out those plans. trust me when i say i never used to plan things out.

2 resolutions

writing the full goddamn fic before posting it OR at least finishing all the plans first.

write more for non-svt groups. please.. @ myself this blog was started for svt AND trsr.

1 favorite line

ughh i think i usually end up having multiple lines that i like in fics so i’ll just pick one at random:

If eternal love took the form of a person, then that truly was you. You’d always have one part of his love tied to you, no matter how far away he went. That was the funny thing about love: you gave up parts of yourself for someone else. Wonwoo might always see you in the books he’d read, in the stores he passed, in the world itself. One day the pain would fade, but his love would always rest with you whether you knew it or not. He tried to think of what the Twitter account would say. Part of him wanted to message it, even if the person running it was on a break. But what could they say to comfort him? That it was okay to be hurt, that they were sorry for encouraging him? That love was a leap of faith and sometimes you fall but it’ll all be okay?

They said falling was the best part of love. If it was, then the impact of hitting the ground was the worst.

(from pt.10 of lonely hearts club)

i will simply mention some ppl and no one has to do it if they don’t want to @junkissed @thepixelelf @husbandhannie

#wooahaes.txt #wooahaes.tagged #my mental health took like. a random fuckin hit so im gonna go curl up in bed now n hopefully sleep

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xaeyrnofnbe · 2 years

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here is my pinned post!! info about me here!! (sorry it’s a mess of words. i am not a very organized person. i appreciate it a lot if you do read this stuff though)

CC’S BEWARE I AM STRANGE DO NOT LOOK AT ME. JUST PRETEND IM NOT HERE. anyway,

you can call me Xae

i strongly prefer masculine and androgynous terms and compliments… so like sir and mr. and all that stuff. you can call me a guy or a boy all you like. i’m not exactly a man but i vibe with the words y’know?

not all that great at social stuff online, so if you reach out and i don’t respond i’m very sorry, i probably want to chat as well i just panic as soon as i am paid any attention and also just don’t know how to talk online. if you wanna shoot me a message though, go for it! i’ll try my best. probably.

very open to questions about my headcanons, original characters, or other ideas i’ve posted on here! if you send an ask i most likely will respond in some way. cannot guarantee i’ll be coherent about it though

also, i post about a lot of different things, and don’t really have the mental capacity or care enough to manage multiple side blogs. so i would list all the things you might find on here but honestly it’s just everything i’ve ever been into. so. good luck with that i guess, follow at your own risk. (that risk being having to see stuff you don’t care about/don’t like)

i draw sometimes, but not a lot. lots of art mediums too. if you have something you’d like me to draw, lemme know i guess? i’m all ears for inspiration. though i’ll only really want to draw cartoon characters, dsmp or dsmp adjacent characters or ccs, and ocs sometimes. also animals or dinosaurs, love those guys.

oh and as a little warning if you happen to read this, i tend to reblog videos and pictures of insects, arachnids, crustaceans, and other leggy things, and rarely tag them, cause i forget. so if you’re freaked out by any of that, a follow may not be in order.

also also, i am very uncomfy with anything inappropriate, suggestive, or nsfw in any way directed at me! so keep that to a minimum pretty please.

if you don’t like something i did, or a particular viewpoint i like, or the fact that i like a person/media that you don’t, sorry not sorry, i’m just vibing here. if you don’t like it then don’t follow. block me if you need to.

oh and btw if you change your url and don’t say anything or i don’t see you say something about changing it, you’re a different person to me now sorry. i have ZERO object permanence when it comes to people on here i barely remember people i regularly interact with. again sorry but if you’ve changed your url recently and we’re mutuals or something, you’re a different person now in my brain and that past person either never existed or is dead now. oh well. whoops

with everything previously stated in mind, i’m pretty chill and open to chatting. and i usually follow people back if we have shared interests or if the person is funny. bye bye now!!

(oh and. if you’re curious. i am putting my current fursona here. just so The People have something to imagine me as if needed. and bc i love him)

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raayllum · 2 years

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not sure where i’m going with this yet but bc it’s something i’ve seen in a few fandoms (largely star wars, voltron, atla, and a couple of others) but i’ve recently realized is also - slightly?? - relevant for tdp

you ever see shit when people take something one ship canonically has and then just copy and pastes it onto the ‘rival’ ship they prefer, with no mind to any of the characters’ canon personalities or backstories?

this was most common in the voltron fandom with debates over which character, keith or lance, should get to be the black paladin (leader) of the group, ignoring that shiro was already the canonical and clear leader. other aspects that often got handed to those two despite shiro (or other characters) actually having set up or these components in their backstories: being taken prisoner for angst, having a cool robot arm, having major survivor’s guilt or self sacrificial tendencies, etc.

for star wars, it’s the way the canon source material took finn/rey’s dynamic from the first movie and then pasted it over kylo/rey’s dynamic in the last movie in particular: running to rey, who has fallen, and cradling her in their arms, even though in the first film, finn did so because kylo had slammed her into a tree so hard she went unconscious, amid other copy-and-pastes.

i could get into how, for many years, the zu.tara fandom assigned zuko either traits he doesn’t have to make him more desirable or just flat out took things aang has/offers, while ignoring the ways aang relates to katara in ways zuko never could (i.e. being mutual survivors of genocide, both waterbenders, a desire to travel the world, etc. etc).

and i’m not saying this is widespread thing in TDP. it’s not, hence why it took almost four years to notice, but i do think the areas i’ve noticed it’s in is interesting, hence why i’m sharing it. that said: feel free to ignore everything i say in the section below & it is not meant to be a generalization

that all being said

tdp femslash ships — basically janaya & raydia — have a Weird tendency to borrow a lot from rayla/callum as a couple without the JA or RCl shippers tending to... seemingly realize?

for example: i have seen people say they would prefer raydia (or sorayla) to rayllum bc it’d be “enemies to lovers,” as though rayla and callum weren’t / isn’t. and while rayllum is still very much friends to lovers more than those ships would likely be, they did start out as enemies. it’s a core consideration of how amazing it is that they became friends so quickly.

another example would the one raydia oneshot i read where claudia - for some reason - had to save rayla from a very aggressive corvus. despite being vaguely ooc (and honestly kinda falling back on racist stereotypes, bc s1 ensures that corvus isn’t an ‘aggressive black man’ by any means) it’s like. if you wanted a human mage helping to save rayla from a dangerous threat, uh...

got bad news about what side claudia has been & realistically will be on.

or even - bc i don’t read that much fic, even for rayllum - the few times i’ve read janaya oneshots i couldn’t quite relate. too often i felt like they would lean heavily on janai 1) caring too much for amaya too quickly or 2) have HCs of janai not really having any friends. nothing in canon points this way (if anything it leans towards the opposite of her having Good camaraderie with her soldiers and her bio has said she’d rather be a general > than a princess exalted above people, hence the path she chose until s3 came long).

but canon does have hints that rayla, possibly, didn’t have a lot of friends before the boys

i’m not saying for sure that rayla was a lonely, largely friendless kid growing up - “bloodmoon huntress” could prove me wrong and i’d love to learn otherwise, even if i also love my current headcanons that she was. but the point still stands that canon at least gives me a reason to read into it as a headcanon rather than trying to force a ship that, thus far, has mostly indicated the opposite to be truth, of a square peg into a round hole.

and rayla also starts caring for her human love interest who saved her “too much” in her own canonical words

i have also seen people read rayla’s willingness to self sacrifice and some of her other traits onto janai, despite the fact that while they have similarities, janai and rayla are exceedingly different characters at their core. and, furthermore, if either half of janai/amaya was going to have super strong self sacrificial tendencies, it’d amaya - and i think amaya gets ignored bc she has her nephews to live for, in many ways, and we know she’s had close friends like gren and corvus. it’s easier to give janai a lonely backstory that’s a clean slate than to write her as having had a full life before amaya showed up in many ways, including her family and her troops

and although i don’t talk about it often, i also haven’t made it a secret that the dark magic stan (aka dark magic is Good viren is just misunderstood) and the JA corners of the fandom are the ones that i have the most ‘issues’ with.

the weird thing to me is that on the one hand, i get the rayllum-janaya comparisons. i’ve even made them myself! JA’s relationship development follows very similar steps to rayllum’s, just with less time and less varied emotional weight (by that i mean, rayla and callum have been through multiple losses and hard events together, including grief, whereas ja have only been through a couple. additionally, RC has everything that JA offers, emotionally, but JA doesn’t offer anything that RC doesn’t, emotionally, in terms of thematic explorations, events they’ve been through, etc).

for example, yes janai and amaya’s displays of trust (janai trusting her in regards to viren, amaya trusting janai with the light) are big. but rayla and callum were having those, with rayla and callum saving each other’s lives (1x05) and callum trusting rayla with ezran and over claudia (1x03, 1x06), too.

but the weird thing is that JA shippers have a tendency to be hard on rayllum. call it rushed or boring or that they get dumb, redundant arcs... and then turn right around and try to apply those exact same arcs to JA despite the fact canon thus far hasn’t supported those parallels.

i also see this play out sometimes with harrai, who once again, have a Lot of rayllum parallels all over the place in some pretty prominent ways

this is a very long winded way of saying that ship comparisons are normal and natural, but i don’t get disliking the development of one ship that is more in depth thematically and in terms of screentime, only to try to copy and past that development to your - technically, comparatively - more ‘shallow’ preferred ship. i just don’t

basically: tdp is a very well written show that purposefully parallels these relationships and if you don’t understand how they all contribute to the core themes in meaningful ways you just... have bad media literacy, bub

#fandom #not salt cause just musings #shipping #got long but i'm trusting the new 'expand' option to deal with it #if not please let me know and i'll put it under a read more!#it'll also show up in searched tags but shouldn't show up in ship tags #bc it is about shipping but it's not necessarily ship positive about anything?? i suppose??

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iamanartichoke · 3 years

Text

I am posting this mostly to get it off my chest, and I'll probably regret it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the biggest problem I have with Fandom Wank(tm) in regards to positivity or negativity, is what bothers me has literally nothing to do with whether one's positivity/negativity will turn out to be right.

last night I followed a couple of posts and went down a rabbit hole of "series negativity" bashers' posts, bc apparently I hate myself and do not wish to be in a good mental space right now, and the common thread I noticed is that those who are overwhelmingly positive and take issue with criticism seem to be doing so bc they see their own versions of Loki being portrayed on-screen, either as how they've interpreted him as a character in generral or as how they've written him in fics. And not only are they fiercely protective of those versions but they also get validation from the confirmation that their Loki is The Right Loki(tm). Criticism takes the on-screen portrayal (and, subsequently, their own personal versions of The Right Loki(tm)) and says, uh, I can't actually see Loki doing this? I think this is ooc? I think Loki as portrayed here is not consistent with previous portrayals? -

- and suddenly you've got this rabid backlash on your hands where it becomes 'omg stop being toxic,' 'your headcanon is not canon' (look in the mirror), 'this is tom's loki so it's accurate,' 'i see no difference whatsoever in characterization y'all're just deluded and have invented a loki that never existed' (tf????), etc.

And I can't help but conclude that the backlash against criticism/negativity has nothing to do with the criticism itself; it's more to do with the undermining of someone else's validation in how they view this character.

This is purely speculation. There's some mental gymnastics here, admittedly. I could be way off base and I realize that I risk my post being shared and misconstrued and mocked by even posting it publicly. But the only reason I'm writing this - and thus getting it off my chest after my spiral down the rabbit hole - is bc from my point of view, I didn't feel like my experience in enjoying this tv show was being threatened until the discourse backlash over the negativity started spilling onto my dash. Not the negativity itself; the actual discourse. (And, look, there's a lot of negativity that's been posted that I don't agree with whatsoever, and there's other negativity that I may agree with but don't agree that it's an issue, or - my point is, this isn't bc I don't have conflict with the actual arguments themselves.)

Full disclosure: for the first three weeks, I was more positive than not regarding the show. (I think I still am.) I posted about what I liked but I also posted about what I felt was ooc and about the elements I liked less. A lot of my mutuals are not thrilled (to say the least) with the show, so there was already a ton of negativity on my dash and I personally went through a few minor meltdowns on whether or not I was on the right page with my enjoyment when so many others (whose opinions I trust and whose versions of Loki [that I've read] in fic ring true to me) were not sharing that enjoyment.

I did/have been talking it out with friends who feel similarly and I've more or less come to terms with being in the middle. And in the meantime, when I felt like the negativity was not something I wanted to be cognizant of, I skipped those posts entirely. Doing these things allowed me to come to terms with where I was standing regarding my overall feelings on the series, and overall enjoyment with my fandom experience.

And then, mostly after episode 3 (which seems to be the most divisive so far), discourse started popping up on my dash more and more. I'm defining discourse, in this context, as 'wank regarding whether or not Loki is actually ooc, wank over people who enjoy the show not wanting to see the negativity, wanky posts asking people who are critical to reserve judgement until the show has finished airing (but praise is fine)' -

- and suddenly, I feel much more self-conscious about posting my takes. Suddenly I feel much more anxiety about hitting the "post" button when said post is more critical than not. Suddenly I am worried about who, exactly and actually, is reading my posts? Who is going to decide to paraphrase my takes and include them in a 'guess what they're complaining about NOW' post? Who is going to decide to pass around a post I've made only to mock it, as has happened to some of my friends already?

Over the past three days, I have gotten 30+ new followers, and instead of feeling good about it - hey, some of these may be porn bots but still, people are interested in my blog?! - I feel just increasing anxiety about it bc, I mean, I don't know who anyone is or what they're here for.

I do not feel secure in the current fandom environment, is what I'm saying, and the reason I do not feel secure is not because of the negativity; it's because of the wank coming from the people who post about the negativity and mock the negativity and call other fans deluded stans who have a shitty grasp on characterization, story telling, and Loki in general. It's Ragnarok bullshit all over again, only worse.

And this circles me back to my original point, which is that the anxiety and the wank/discourse and whatever else really has nothing to do with the on-screen portrayal of Loki.

For me, personally? It took me awhile to realize it, admittedly, but I did realize that I do not care if what I perceive as ooc actually isn't. I do not care if the final product of Loki - once the entire series has aired - is a different Loki than what I've written and perceived as "my" Loki all this time. It's not going to make me feel like less of a fan or less valid; it's just going to make me feel like I have a perception of Loki that may differ in some ways with "canon Loki" but is still similar enough that I will continue to enjoy engaging with him and writing meta about him and writing fic about him and sharing those things with people who view Loki similarly. Likewise, I am not going to feel less valid as a writer and a critical thinker; it doesn't make me feel like I have anything to prove.

So if the root of the wank is coming down to the negativity making you feel less valid or less vindicated bc "your" Loki matches the show but is being called ooc by a lot of other fans, like, maybe take a step back and consider not taking it personally? Maybe really think about why the fact that negativity exists bothers you so much? Bc I mean, at the end of the day, it's not like Tom Hiddleston himself is going to descend from the clouds with a choir of angels singing and acknowledge any one of us as The One True Fan Who Has The Best Interpretation Ever of Loki. So what actual difference does it make if (we agree or disagree that) he's ooc or not?

Ultimately I'm just saying, there is definitely wank that is ruining the fandom atmosphere and the show in general, and it's not coming from those who are posting their negativity and criticism of the source material.

*Disclaimer that this is how I am perceiving and interpreting things today and possibly in general, but I'm not necessarily saying that my perception is factual to what is actually happening. I don't know what is happening. This is the guess that I've come up with in order to reconcile the fandom discomfort I feel, discomfort which is ruining the show for me, and where it's all coming from.

** Second disclaimer that I have unfollowed those who were participating in the wank, if I was following them in the first place, to the point that it made me uncomfortable, and obviously this post doesn't apply to everyone bc there is a certain amount of just being tired of it that I understand, so if we're mutuals, this doesn't apply to you regardless of where you stand on the wank.

*** Third disclaimer that said fandom environment is what makes me feel like I have to add disclaimers on every fucking thing I say, partly bc people read what they want to read and partly bc I have very debilitating anxiety regarding being misunderstood.

#fandom wank #i am going to regret posting this i already know it #but i'm posting it anyway not only to get it off my chest but #on the off chance someone else feels similarly and needs to see it #don't @ me #- or @ me if you really want to i suppose #loki tv series spoilers #kinda?#not really?#not sure how to tag this to avoid potential spoilers but #not tryna have this end up in any main tags either #which btw if you're gonna come at me don't come at me regarding negativity being posted in main tags and you wouldn't be commenting #on it if it wasn't there to begin with bc it doesn't negate that there's an issue at root here that is concerning but also #tumblr fucking sucks their tagging system sucks and their blocking system sucks so it's very likely that stuff that ends up #in the main tags got there accidentally or wasn't intended to be there so just use the nifty little scroll button #to scroll on by kthnx #well this post is an adventure isn't it #smh #tag rambles

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thosch3i · 3 years

Note

Hi hi! So the lost tombs and chronology all super confuse me. So tlt2 ended on a cliffhanger that was not resolved by tlt3 which is ultimate note, but now there is another tlt3 that I am guessing is made by the same studio as tlt2 (but not UN) that actually follows tlt2? And it has the same WPZ as tlt2 (but sadly different WX, ZQL though I’m sure these guys are great). You seem to know what you’re talking about so I’m hoping you can help!

UN also ended on a cliff hanger so I’m wondering if they’ll get a sequel from their studio that comes before tomb of the sea.

ahhh hello anon! yes ahaha the dmbj dramas are certainly very confusing--because they keep switching the screenwriters/entire production team between dramas. huanrui did tlt1 (2015), tlt2 (2019), and the sequel to tlt2 (2021). they're also technically the production company for un (2020), but linghe did like all the directing/casting/writing so its significantly different in tone and quality from the other dramas huanrui produced. npss (dmbj author) did sha hai (2018) and tltr (2020), with sha hai being in collab with linghe, so you can see lots of parallels with un and shared cast. (gonna add that i dont know much about the m9 because that’s not what im personally interested in, so i’m only going by stories with wu xie & the iron triangle.)

unfortunately, the dramas pretty have no continuity as a result of all the weird shit and multiple studios doing different dramas and messy stuff going on behind the scenes. the author's production company currently has all the rights back for filming future dramas, which is......imo, a good thing for book fans who love the author but a 😬 thing for book fans who like the original story more than what the author is now doing with it. I'll uh avoid saying too much opinion stuff though so no more on that 😅

that aside! yes 云顶天宫 “explore with the note” part 2......is the direct sequel to tlt2 and done by the same studio. unfortunately the writers are different and im not sure how much of the production team is the same either. idk how much you know about the novels so brief summary here--for the chinese version, the main story has 9 parts split among 8 books (though the official eng tls have each part being a different book) with some important content being as follows:

official eng title “cavern of blood zombies” (first time wx goes into a tomb, first t3j meeting)

official eng title “angry sea, hidden sands” (xisha seabed tomb, introduce a-ning)

official eng title “bronze tree of death” (bronze tree in qinling, wx & lao yang solo adventure)

official eng title “palace of doom” (heavenly palace on the clouds, introduce bronze gate)

official eng title “deadly desert winds” (golmud, introduce hei xiazi, desert, rainforest, tamutuo)

official eng title “graveyard of a queen” (the rest of that arc, wu sanxing & xie lianhuan reveal, jade meteorite, amnesiac xiaoge and escape, sanshu vanishes for good--also i think the official eng tl covers a couple chapters of the beginning of the next part too)

阴山古楼 (searching for xiaoge’s memories in banai, miluotuo cave, i think introduction of wu erbai)

邛笼石影 (auction/hotel iron triangle fight, introduce xiao hua & xiuxiu, wx & xh on the mountains alone while pz & xg go with granny huo)

finale (rescue from zhang family mansion, changbai mountain goodbye, 10 years promise)

after the main story are the main sequels:

zang hai hua (tibetan sea flower; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie a few years after xiaoge has entered the gate, searching to understand xiaoge’s past

sha hai (tomb of the sea; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie’s plan to wipe out the wang family, after zhh

chongqi (reunion: the sound of the providence) covers wu xie’s lung disease and how he recovers from that, set after they pick up xiaoge again from the bronze gate. thunder city and everything.

灯海寻尸&万山极夜 (still updating on wechat) don’t worry about this one since it’s still a WIP lol

btw between sha hai and chongqi there’s also ten years later (a short story) that covers how wu xie and pangzi pick up xiaoge from the bronze gate and take him home

the dramas Do Not Connect To Each Other At All, which the exception of tlt2 & tlt2 pt2 somewhat, but they go in this order:

盗��笔记 / the lost tomb 1 (2015): covers part 1 but with major OCs and filler, and includes the auction scene from part 8 for some reason, so introduces xiao hua early.

怒海潜沙&秦岭神树 / the lost tomb 2 (2019) technically “explore with the note”: covers parts 2 & 3 but with major OCs and filler, introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu (and hei xiazi briefly) early. last couple episodes also cover the beginning of part 4. not a direct sequel to tlt1 despite being done by the same studio.

云顶天宫 / heavenly palace on the clouds (2021) technically also “explore with the note”: covers part 4 with major OCs and filler (and the same changes carrying over from tlt2). some episodes are identical to the last couple episodes of tlt2. works as a direct sequel only if you ignore the last couple episodes of tlt2 that take place in the snowy mountains. (those episodes of tlt2 were filmed after this drama was filmed, and im still not sure why they dragged the wu xie and xiaoge from tlt2 back to changbai mountain to film those episodes.)

终极笔记 / ultimate note (2020): covers parts 5-8 with minor OCs and minimal filler, also introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu early. the only adaptation that resembles its source material most of the time.

沙海 / tomb of the sea (2018): covers the second sequel with major OCs and filler. includes some bits from zhh and the short story “three days of silence”.

重启之极海听雷 / the lost tomb reboot (2020): covers third sequel with major OCs and filler.

in addition there is the prequel series mystic nine (2016) and side movies for the dramas that the author produced. there is also a single standalone movie--time raiders (2016) that is....well it’s. very strange. it’s fully subbed on youtube if you’re interested?

the best way to watch the dramas is to assume each one is its own self-contained AU set along different points of the dmbj timeline because even the dramas the author himself worked on don’t have continuity LOL (and with the exception of ultimate note & sha hai most of the time, also assume most characters are pretty OOC from the novels).

i uh regret to inform you though, that ultimate note will not be getting a sequel unless the author magically decides to not care about making money anymore and sells the rights to film the finale to linghe or something ^^;;;; it’s....unfortunate bc un is the most highly-rated dmbj adaptation on douban by A Lot, but it’s an adaptation that the author had literally nothing to do with whatsoever.

more information on some of the side movies/stage plays/manhua/donghua here.

summaries of the main novel stories (currently through zhh) here.

edited mtl (some of which has apparently been looked over by native cn speakers) of the novels following where official eng tls end here. (there are many scattered extras as well.)

you can get the official eng tl books/ebooks on amazon or elsewhere(?), but if you have problems purchasing them or like you just dont wanna support amazon or something, dm me off anon. (also i dont want to be mean but frankly the official tls are kinda bad too ^^;;;)

a rough timeline (spoilers galore) for the dmbj novels here. (fair warning im not 100% sure how accurate all of this is--they put three days of silence as 1991 but looking at the info in zhh, it seems like it should have been before the 1950s...but it’s more than fine as a general overview.)

anyway i hope that was helpful in some way? dmbj is a Very Confusing thing to get into ahahaha, one of my twitter mutuals has made a few carrds if you think they might be helpful: book, dramas (slightly out of date bc it says heavenly palace hasn’t aired yet), ultimate note (got its own carrd by virtue of being the only adaptation aside from sha hai sometimes that most og book fans acknowledge lol ^^;;;)

also anon if anything wasn’t clear or if you had more questions feel free to ask again sorry ahahaha im kinda tired rn @.@

#dmbj #shouting into the void #ask #anon #....im kinda tired bc i just finished watching ydtg so i hope that doesnt come across *too much* in this post LOL #and its probably obvious which adaptation im biased towards but after reading the novels i cant really help it

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taikanyohou · 2 years

Note

Hey Faiza! I'm glad you're enjoying Enchante as much as I am! I saw someone else mention that Akk and Theo may lowkey be angry with each other (due to the separation) and your last gif set makes me think that's plausible since they do seem to take subtle slights at each other : "I'm loyal"- Akk, "you always forget"- Theo, etc, etc and a few others. I wonder what you think about it 😊 if this theory happens to be true, I can imagine that's the reason why currently, although they seem to be interested in each other, they (especially Akk) seem hesitant around each other, not really knowing how much of an importance they play in each others' life; especially in the scene with Phupha, where Theo seems upset Akk leaves, and Akk retreats thinking he's not meant to be within his social circle as he's tying his shoe. It does build up for some good angst, I must say, but still, I feel for my boy Akk 😔

hiiii anon!!! no that's exactly it! and i also feel like akk isnt the kinda guy to do something that isnt authentic and true to who he is just to get close to/get on theo's radar, like how phupha/wayo/nattee/saifah might. akk will just remain who he is. and that shot of him tying his converse up showed that.

and like! that's the akk that theo has known all his life. this loud, foul-mouthed guy who gets overly excited when he sees theo's BMW and teases him but would run a country mile for him risking his job and livelihood. who keeps all these little trinkets that relate to their past.

but then its like. akk also KNOWS theo's spent a lot of his life in the west. in a set of completely different social norms and culture. and that plays on akk's mind bc he feels like theo deserves something and someone akin to that, who meets his "higher standards", which btw is a REALLY interesting conversation for poc diaspora and poc who live all their life in the country they were born in and how they both view each other!!!

but theo. like. theooooo. that boy is only his most comfortable self when he is WITH akk. there's no body else he feels he can rely on. not even his parents. and he doesnt wanna even be a burden on akk at times either bc. you know. his mentality has developed into "i've had to learn to become independent in a country and culture i wasnt accustomed to and i managed and that's all i know". so to see him just be. himself. and swear and be loud and be bratty is SO refreshing. and he probably just ... wants to be that more than ANYTHING else. and he can only be that with akk. but there's parts of him that feel guilty in being able to be that loud and carefree bc he has to do it at the expense of akk's life, like his job or his hobbies or giving up his time for him.

but ughhh yeah. its just. SO interesting how MUCH depth they've managed to build up in just 2 eps so far!!! and i KNOW we're in for mutual pining and angst and its gonna hurt but its gonna be soooo good and its so NICE to know just HOW MUCH they both like and want each other. and ive seen people say "well if we know akktheo are endgame from the start whats the point of enchante and the whole plot then??".

but like. THATS the point. its getting to see HOW they get together despite enchante, and whoever he maybe, and the 4 boys. its about getting to see HOW fine the line between friendship and love can become when 2 childhood best friends toe it. THATS the point.

#faiza answers

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notnctu · 4 years

Text

to jaehyun, my first love ♡

To All The J’s I’ve Loved Before Series by notnctu ♡ jung jaehyun x fem!reader ♡ genre - fluff, slight angst ♡ wc - 2.1k ♡ warnings - explicit language ♡ synopsis - in which Mark accidentally sets you up on a date with your first love and ex-boyfriend, Jung Jaehyun ♡ taglist - @colpen ; @cestmoncoeur ; @hyucksberry ♡ a/n - i had to repost bc tumblr keeps randomly deleting our shit omggg pls ;-; let us know if you want to be on the taglist for the next ones!

Jaehyun,

I’ve never done this before, but the feelings you give me are too intense to not write it out. You’re like every dream come to life. A fairytale that came alive from the books. You remind me of a noble, quiet prince riding on his high horse. It’s not subtle, but not too grand to be overwhelming.

I think I love you. You’d be rolling your eyes at that word. It’s high school, what could I possibly know about love, right? And no, it’s not about you being my first boyfriend and my first kiss. It’s much more than those mundane things.

It’s the skipping of my heart when I’m the reason behind the dimples appearing. Or the butterflies I feel knowing that you, Jung Jaehyun, likes me back. I’m truly still in shock that you’re dating me. There are about two hundred people in this entire school and I’m the one who you send goodmorning and goodnight texts to.

My favorite day is still the day you asked me to be your’s. Cliche, whatever. But I’m not the only one who gushed at the sight of you holding the bouquet of my favorite flowers. Or the way you nervously couldn’t look me in the eye. You are the sweetest boy that has graced my life. I don’t know how I managed to get so lucky.

It’s a lie for me to not admit that I do feel insecure at times about our relationship. You’re not one to express your emotions or thoughts, you tell me it’s your actions. As your slow, yet improving partner, I am currently mindful of every action, like when you brush my hair out of my face because you want to get a good look at me. To see the real me. I like that the most.

Do guys feel these same strange intense feelings? Like my heart bursts thinking about your shy glances and your fingers tangled with mine. Whenever you hug me, I feel like I’m holding the very thing that makes me feel alive. I’m experiencing excitement, joy, and a weird burning sensation that spreads across my chest. It’s like we’re living a movie, but it’s better because it’s real life.

You’re the one, Jaehyun. It’s hard to explain and I’m absolutely being dramatic. But it’s not too far fetched. We’re still young, but I can see a future with you and how you want to chase your dreams with someone by your side. Don’t act like you don’t look directly at me when you say that.

Don’t feel pressured, I’m not asking for your hand in marriage just yet. I just have an inexplicable feeling that you’re someone that I’m going to love forever.

In this fairytale, do you believe in forever?

-from your hopeless romantic girlfriend, y/n

If anyone were to be blamed for this very awkward encounter between you and your ex-boyfriend, it would be Mark Lee. He went on for ages, boasting about some hot guy he wanted to set you up with since you had been single for quite a time. He only meant good intentions, so you could stop holding yourself in your apartment alone during the weekends.

And there was no possible way for Mark to know that his Jung Jaehyun was the same Jung Jaehyun you dated back in high school. Though, if Mark had been specific by telling you the mystery boy’s name, you wouldn’t have to be standing in front of Jaehyun in a stiff atmosphere intended for a harmonious date.

“I didn’t expect to run into you.” Stupid and you knew, you weren’t the only one who thought so. Jaehyun practically scoffed so loud that it physically pained you. Arms crossed, weight barred on his left leg, eyes rolled all the way to the back of his head. He was definitely expecting someone else who didn’t make a fool out of themselves.

“(Y/N), don’t act like we didn’t apply and commit to the same college. We were bound to see each other in some way.”

“Fine, you’re right. I guess, I didn’t expect it to be like this.” Your eyes diverted shyly to the ground as you played with the ends of your sweet dress. At this point, your bed and pj’s seemed much better than a rekindle of the mess you made.

Jaehyun cursed at Mark underneath his breath before running his hands through his brown locks. There was too much you wished to stare at. Jaehyun still managed to make your heart stop with his attractiveness. Time benefited him more than anyone else you’ve met from your past. Through his changes, there were the similarities you loved: the depth of his dimples, the softness of his skin, the charm with a simple look, the fluffiness of his hair.

He dug his hands into his jean pockets and pursed his lips together before saying, “look, I don’t want to date you again and truthfully, Mark never told me your name when he talked about you, so I don’t know what twisted setup you two planned for this to be.”

Your facial expression reacted before you could collect your thoughts at the harsh rejection, which was a complete spin from when he had first accepted your heart. You were really regretting the pitiful letter sitting in your childhood room at the moment and the fact that he was the first letter. ��

“Listen, Mark didn’t mention your name either when he talked about the ‘hot, sweet boy’, so you can kiss my ass if you really think that I purposefully set this up to get back together with you.” Jaehyun’s eyebrow rose and his jaw tightened at your response.

“I’m supposed to believe that this was a mere coincidence or a sickly twisted fate that we ended up together again?”

It was your turn to scoff, roll your eyes, and cross your arms. “Like how I’m supposed to believe you’re the same guy that Mark raves about. You’re far from a kindhearted, wholesome person who volunteers at the dog rescue center and to think, I ever fell for someone who had the potential to be this arrogant!”

A quick spin on your heels sent you dramatically walking off to your car. Though, the sounds of heavy footsteps caught up to you and a hand closed your car door shut before you could step in. “I’m sorry. I haven’t completely forgiven myself and you for the breakup.”

“It happened a long, long time ago.”

“You’re right, but I still beat myself up to this day that our relationship could have been saved if we both didn’t give up.”

Sighing, you held his cheek gently and he faced you with hurt reflecting in his eyes. “We were young and stubborn. We gave up because we didn’t have the emotional capacity to fix it, Jae.”

He lit up at the sound of his nickname and how much he missed hearing it roll off your tongue. It was like a switch flipped on. “Haven’t heard you say my name in a while. I almost forgot how much I loved it.”

The appearance of his dimples and brightening smile caused a disruption of butterflies to swarm in your stomach. This feeling could only be produced by him and no one else. The true holder of your heart has returned and left you a bit unsettled.

If he hasn’t already charmed your pants enough, his cool lean against your car definitely sealed the deal. “Are you flirting with me, Jung Jaehyun?” Your narrowed eyes zoned in on the unmistakable smirk that plastered his face.

His lips rolled together, emphasizing the crescents in his cheeks more. “We can’t let poor Mark down. How about we try going on this date?” He paused to gauge your reaction, “so we don’t have to lie when we report back to him.”

“Fine, for the sake of Mark and because I’ll admit, I did miss your presence.” Every detail reminded him of the most amazing times he spent with you. It was like he was watching one of his favorite films or listening to a forgotten playlist that triggered all kinds of emotions he had felt before.

He jumped off the vehicle with the biggest gleam that was not present earlier. This was the Jaehyun you remember. He couldn’t contain his excitement and oftentimes, only being able to express his emotions through his actions.

“Well, you’re not one who’s hard to miss. I don’t think I can get your smile out of my head for the next few days.” You quietly pondered the thought of how easy this all was for him.

Hours flew by, endlessly chatting away to catch up with each other’s lives and reminiscing the good parts of your relationship. The restaurant had grown empty and quiet, to the point of being kicked out of the establishment. Before either of you could process the mutual feeling of happiness, there was a brief moment of wondering what the next steps of this was. He cleared his throat when you two arrived at your car.

“I had a great time today, Jaehyun.” The sadness in your voice was not unnoticed by him.

“Can I ask why Mark was so persistent in setting us up?” Jaehyun inquired as he took off his jacket to wrap around your shaking, exposed shoulders. His thin shirt blew wildly in the breeze, but he’d rather have you warm and him frozen by the night.

The tiny thanks escaped as a whisper and you hugged his scent tighter. “He just wants me to stop being alone on the weekends because that’s when he goes back home with his family.”

Jaehyun nodded knowingly, “I can still change that for you.”

“Don’t give up your weekends at the shelter for me and it sounds like you already have a lot on your plate.”

He chuckled delightfully and there was hope to hear it again. “I can sacrifice a few hours at the shelter to be with a friend. Plus, you’re important to me and like I said many years before, I want you by my side as I chased my dreams. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. I take the responsibility of being bitter over something in the past and tonight really made me realize what all the anger stole from me.”

Jaehyun pulled you into an overdue hug. His cologne engulfed you like old times. “Just to avoid confusion, we aren’t getting back together.. ever.” His chest muffled your words, but he heard you loud and clear.

“There’s not a sliver of hope?” It wasn’t hurt that laced his question, but something light and playful. Jaehyun’s strong arms pulled away, but his hands dropped to hold yours. A small smile rested on his face, his lips looked as tempting as you remembered them to be.

“No, there’s not.” The mood shifted to a more serious atmosphere, but it was finally time to address the elephant in the empty parking lot. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m always going to love you. People don’t call it a first love for nothing. Back when we were still together, and I told you I believed in forever, I meant it. But that doesn’t mean my heart wants you back, I want you to be happy with someone else.”

Jaehyun’s eyes sparkled underneath the dark night sky, but he broke the gaze when he grew shy at how the conversation had turned. A warmth spread across his chest and suffocated him tenderly. “Nice to know that I’m not the only one that still holds you in a special place in my heart. You’re right, my first love is unforgettable. You are unforgettable.”

Warm cheeks and shy, averting eyes wrapped up the date nicely. And all of which was thanks to Mark, who cluelessly set you up with your first love. You coughed to fill the tense air, noticing the goosebumps that rose on his arms. “We should get going, it’s too cold to be standing out here.”

“Right, I don’t want you catching a cold. You know how needy you get when your nose starts dripping uncontrollably.” His laughter mixed with yours as you handed his jacket back to him.

Rolling your eyes, Jaehyun helped you open your car door. “Anyways, are you up for a movie night this weekend?”

“No horror movies unless you want to end up in my arms.” He winked and you punched his arm playfully at his flirty banter.

“Don’t push it, Jae!” You giggled, entering your car to shield from the bitterness that was abandoned to linger in the air.

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you at your castle real soon.” With that, he closed your door and waved a small goodbye. Watching his figure disappear into his own vehicle, you realized the thought that Jaehyun was always the reason you started to love. Even in this reality, he was the reason you believed in a forever.

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elriel-oblivion · 3 years

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Okay here's the thing.. I respect everyone's opinions and they can ship whoever they want but like... For Elucien and Gwynriel... I literally cannot even see how. I would gladly ship them if someone gave me a valid reason. Elain avoids talking or even being in the same room as Lucien, and Azriel had one polite conversation with Gwyn. Az is just nice to her. As nice as he would be to any female. Elriel has foreshadowing & chemistry- The roses painted on her drawer and the rose necklace...👀

Strongly agree with all of this!! My main problem with anything that's not elriel is that a lot of anti-elriel shippers completely ignore or erase Elain. With these ships, it's always what benefits Elain does or doesn't bring. It's so misogynistic, people just ignore everything she's mentioned about her own heart and how she doesn't want a mate or the bond, she doesn't care for it, but oh Lucien's had such a hard life, he deserves his mate!!!!!

😒😒😒

Surely he deserves someone who wants him as much as he wants them, no?

Non-elriel-endgame with the canon we currently have would mean Elain's choices are stripped once again since she'd have to give up/lose the love she actually wants in favour of one she doesn't want that's attached to some cultural concept that means zilch to her and her human heart. I mean, sure sjm could spin it so Elain catches feelings for Lucien and they end up happily mated. But then what is the point of having Elain constantly avoid him for three books? That's not even setting up for a good relationship bc every time they interact/meet, the communication just gets worse.

While I can honestly see the potential of gwynriel bc platonic interactions can later become romantic, I still don't ship it bc it doesn't feel right the way elriel does to me. I can def see gwynriel becoming a strong healthy friendship, but if it's endgame then Elain ends up with Lucien, whom she visibly shrinks from and has been avoiding since acowar. She doesn't feel seen by him at all - as much as I love Lucien and truly do want him to have his own HEA, we can't deny that he's really just pursuing (I use pursuing in the loosest way since he's very respectful about it 😅) Elain bc of the bond. If we take that away, there's nothing between them imo and he probably wouldn't give Elain more than a passing glance for her beauty and that's it bc she's not the type of girl he's into.

But people don't wanna think about how that makes Elain feel. This girl who previously felt seen by only one person - who then rejected her bc of that bond itself - and craves someone to see who she truly is, is being courted by someone who doesn't actually like her for her, but just the idea of what a relationship with her would entail. He's only trying bc of some divine belief she doesn't share. That must suck like hell. It's almost objectfying, the bond. And again, I don't blame Lucien at all, not even for trying bc it is something that's important to him and his culture, but it's not a mutual thing. If it were important to Elain too and she just wasn't cooperating bc of some stupid shallow reason, then I'd be angry at her. But that's not the case at all.

But with Azriel, the first person to see her since Graysen, there's so much potential for growth - for both of them. They make each other feel seen. And for all that antis say neither has grown in the time they've known each other, how did Az pluck up the courage to almost kiss Elain after having not done anything with Mor for five centuries? How did Elain initiate that kiss - ie have the courage to follow her heart again after having it torn and shredded by Graysen? And anyway, weve never seen into Elain's head so we don't know what she feels has changed within her; we can only detect subtle changes from other povs, but there might be some huge changes in her learnt from Azriel, maybe about her outlook on life/strength, that she's just keeping hidden for the time (or that no one has bothered to see bc Elain is invisible 😭). Same with Azriel. One little chapter isn't gonna tell us everything he's been thinking the past two years.

But either way, we know now that they both have feelings for each other. Why is a mutual healthy relationship shut down so quickly, one where both partners' choices are taken heed of? If Elain had said no in that moment, Azriel would've stepped back instantly, no questions asked. He probably would've have some huge internal conflict about his own self worth but he wouldn't have gone further without Elain's consent. He's already shown he respects her, he said they've been sharing looks and touches, and these are things fandom eat up, so I don't understand why it's suddenly wrong or unwanted just bc Elain makes up half the ship.

And there's so much foreshadowing/symbolism that antis seem oblivious to, which, fair enough, interpret the text how you want. But even if somebody doesn't see the spark or blooming feelings between the pair throughout the books (how do they explain away all the stiffness whenever one of them is mentioned or is in the same room or something though? Genuinely curious here), there's a lot of plot foreshadowing. The Blood Duel has now been mentioned twice, as has the idea of breaking the bond, maybe more. There's the issue with Koschei and Elain not being able to see things related to him past mist and shadow. There's all this potential conflict that could arise between the Courts if elriel pursue their love, and conflict is the driving force of any novel.

If gwynriel were an IRL couple, I wouldn't care if there were never any conflict, but if I'm reading their story, I want more than just them falling in love and having internal conflict about whether they should kiss the other or not. Especially if the backdrop is a fantasy world on the brink of war with many players. I saw a gwynriel post mentioning Merrill once and while I do think she has the potential to be a running antagonist, I don't see her as anything but a subplot/crony for/associate with another stronger villain. I don't think she could carry a whole novel at the moment. So Gwyn is tied to nothing in the overarching plot. Same with Az. Not to mention all the theories about the Koschei/Swan Lake/firebird folklore that is potentially inspiring this new series in the acotar world. Of course, this could all change as we get more info about the next book/s and all, but compared to elriel certainly, I don't think there's as much conflict with gwynriel.

Ultimately, I don't claim knowledge of the next books' content, so I don't really care what people ship, but the main thing I take issue with is how they treat Elain in the midst. A lot of gwynriel arguments I've seen portray certain acts in a romantic/positive light for Gwyn but either completely ignore or erase any semblance of romance for Elain or tear her down. Like, we shouldn't push the narrative that Gwyn as an SA survivor can't have healthy meaningful sex in the future (yeah, of course I agree), yet some of the same people who say that are also people who judge and make fun of Elain and call her too vanilla for Az without having a clue what her bedroom habits/preferences are 🤯 This is just one of many. There are so many double standards I've seen for gwynriel against elriel and I'm just tired of it. And even if they're not doing any of that, they simply hate Elain and don't want her to be with Az and so ship gwynriel as the next best alternative. Like, can they not push down Elain in favour of Gwyn, please? That's so misogynistic 🤮

For all that this fandom flaunts the series being feminist with strong female characters, they sure do a good job in tearing down females who don't fit their definition of strong, despite even Feyre stating and acknowledging multiple times that Elain has a different kind of strength 😒

Gahhhhhhh. *exhales deeeeeeeeply* Sorry this is so damn LONG!! 😅😅😅😅😅 I did not expect to write a whole bloody essay lol but I hope it was fun/comforting to read at least 😅😆 I know I fall back on elriel posts when the ship war gets too intense bc I actually enjoy shipping elriel. They've become my otp, and I absolutely adore both characters of the ship; I think most of us elriels do. I haven't really seen any elriel stans who dislike/don't care for Elain and her welfare so it's nice being in this corner of the fandom where we can appreciate both Az and Elain equally. And of course, the other characters with their due respect. I truly do want Lucien to finally get his good life, but I don't think that's with Elain 😕

#elain archeron #elriel #azriel acotar #elain x azriel #Acotar #Acosf spoilers

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gunsatthaphan · 3 years

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I was tagged by the lovely @atotsphutian thank you love 🥺💜 for some reason I did get a notif for this one even though I’m currently not getting any tag notifs...

I think I did this like a year ago lol but I’m not sure. either way I love tags so here we go 💜

1. why did you choose your url? simple story - I love Gun and @/gunatthaphan was taken 🙈 lol

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. yes! @poddkhao 💜 bc I love poddkhao lol but I’m way too inactive atm...

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I started my very first blog back in 2013 and I started this one in late 2019 I think.

4. do you have a queue tag? nope, I don’t queue. I schedule 💅🏻

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I started my first blog because of Glee lmao and bc tumblr was like a fancy new trend back then haha. I deleted my old one and started this one because my interests started to shift and I ultimately wanted a blog solely dedicated to the dramas I watch.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? because Khao is one of my favorite humans ever and I love him so much 🥺

7. why did you choose your header? tonchon still have my entire heart and I wanted to make one dedicated to them. I had a few different ones in the past but ultimately went with this one bc I love it 💜

8. what‘s your post with the most notes? no idea honestly 😅

9. how many mutuals do you have? oof I don’t know... I don’t think there’s a way to find out? But I love them all 💜 Also tumblr keeps randomly following, unfollowing and blocking people I found out so the number probably changes a lot 😔

10. how many followers do you have? 🤔

11. how many people do you follow? 337

12. have you ever made a shitpost? I don’t really know what counts as a shitpost LOL but considering that I have to think about it.... probably not 😂

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? I’m online 24/7 lol but I’m active about 3-4 hrs each day I would say, depending on work and whether or not there’s something to scream about lmao.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? not on this blog but maybe back when I had my old blog. Probably with someone from the SH fandom cuz these ppl were wild djhakd no offense.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this‘ posts? hm. I don’t think I ever got one of those..?

16. do you like tag games? YESSS they’re my favorite thing ever 🙈 But as I said queen tumblr is currently not giving me any notifications when someone tags me and made an exception for this one for some reason 🤷🏼‍♀️ But yes omg if you’re thinking about tagging me please send me a dm or an ask so I know 🥺🥺

17. do you like ask games? I do!! Though I don’t think I ever got any sjkfhd rip

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I have no idea what counts as tumblr famous lol but *cue sappy music* all of my mutuals are famous to me 🥺 hjgkj

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? I’m deeply in love with every single one even though I don’t talk to all of them a lot bc I have social anxiety jdksfh forgive me but I love you all so much 😭🥺😩💜

20. tags? Of course only if you want to and have not been tagged already!!

@emisfritish @teh-ohaew @earthmixs @dollopheadsandclotpoles @ahysopae @german-bl-kpop-lover @zeejade88 @tobeornottotc @offspring-of-calliope @earthmixs @omarandjohnny @tardisbluedream @maddiesup @dangerous-button @fiat-pattadon @bl-recs-and-reviews @zaintseeme @itoldsunset @tehohaew @billkinspp @morksuns @nubsib-gene @metawin and everyone who wants to 💜

xxx

#tag game #thanks for tagging me!#<333333 #love these!#cant wait to read everyone else's!!!#💜#about me

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