#my brain is an awful place

[the-brainrot-central]

Moriohpsycho sex is just competing to see who can moan their monologue louder

#I’m sorry #my brain is an awful place #just imagining Kira starts his monologue and Bateman goes ‘outta my WAY gayboy this is MY MOMENT’ and starts monologuing #the rest of the sex is just them trying to yell out their monologues over eachother all while still fucking like rabid animals #kira cums first and Patrick says ‘I win bitch’ #yoshikage kira #kira yoshikage #patrick bateman #moriohpsycho au #moriohpsycho #american psycho #tw sex talk #sex stuff

[needylittlegirl]

if you dont “believe” in aftercare you deserve to get run over by a bus btw

#tbd #saw a crazy tweet now im just thinkin abt how many people dont think aftercare is necessary #my ex didnt think it was needed ever #he would do crazy things specifically to avoid anything that could be taken as care or intimacy after sex #and it did awful things to my brain!! #i have such a weird relationship with sex now because i’ve never experienced aftercare #its crazy that people think its an absolute necessity #i remember one time he left immediately like he always did #so obviously i started crying cause its very confusing to have sex and then the person just walks out not even 5 mins after!! #especially for how young i was it was Confusing #and he came back cause he forgot his wallet or something so he saw me crying #got mad at me it become an argument etc etc cause i told him why i was crying #and he said to me and i Quote #‘expecting a guy to care about you after sex is idiotic and immature- #‘you should be glad you’re even getting laid in the first place so take what you can get and stop expecting guys to care abt anything else’ #which is an insane thing to say and i Believed it for years #the fact i was sitting there crying and i told him it was bc he made me feel like he hated me and i was awful and a worthless girlfriend?? #and that was his response ??? how crazy do you have to be #anyways. aftercare is always necessary and if you dont provide then one of you is gonna be suffering

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Straight up had a dream last night that DC revealed that Bart and Kon were dating and it was in the WILDEST FUCKING WAY.

K, so picture this: Clark needs someone to fly around disguised as him for a plan. So Clark goes through the options in his head: Bruce can't fly, MM is off world, Jon is too much of a twink to be believable, Kara is blonde, Kon is.... Perfect! With a person in mind who would be perfect for his plan, Clark flies off to find Kon.

Cut to Judy Garrick zipping around the Garrick's house. Joan is quietly scrapbooking at the kitchen table and Judy is bored out of her mind. Judy asks Joan if there is anything she can do because she is so unbelievably bored.

Joan responds, very calmly, that she can hear "your brother's boyfriend touching down in the backyard, so why don't you go ask him?"

Judy's face jumps from emotion to emotion as three things are revealed at once. 1) Joan considers Bart to be a son and thus, Judy's brother, 2) Judy's new brother is not straight and 3) Bart has a boyfriend who is in the backyard.

So Judy immediately runs to the backyard and is stunned to bump into Clark (who was there looking for Kon) and then the dream continued on with the two of them hunting down Bart&Kon (who were just at school being normal goddammit!!!) but the entire time Judy is secretly out for blood because she thinks that Joan was referring to Clark and that this adult man is trying to date her new little brother and Judy keeps trying to kill him but it doesn't work because Clark is Kryptonian (and oblivious to the attempted homicides).

Anyway, wild dream all around.

#bruh i cannot control what my brain does in its spare time. i am merely a passenger staring out the window in awe #as the driver does crazy mind-blowing stunts #tho tbf i can lucid dream so occasionally i do fight the driver for the wheel and win #im not even fucking joking tho this was my dream #bart was FUCKING PISSED when they found him because HE HAS A SECRET IDENTITY GODDAMMIT #they can't just fly up to him in school!!! #Judy's shock was also my shock. i literally remember thinking 'dc let them date?!? when the fuck did that happen???' #'and in a SUPERMAN COMIC OF ALL PLACES?!?' #also i don't even think bart lived with joan anymore?? she was just like 'yes this is my son now. max and i share custody' #and you know what? bart can have five+ parents. thats allowed. good for him

[plaidwearinghunters]

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #listen #i haven't even played the game yet #i just saw that part in a twitch stream #and that was what finally convinced me to start playing AW in the first place #and now i'm playing control while waiting for AW2 to download #which is taking a long time considering my download speed is about 1mb/s (on a good day. usually it's even less) #alan wake 2 spoilers #kind of i guess... #eh whatever #also this is like an actual problem #i have to submit my bachelor thesis in less than 2 weeks and all my brain does is blast herald of darkness on repeat #memes #low quality memes #am i talking about the image resolution or the meme itself #the world may never know

[kaleirots]

edit hello bug friends i appreciate your knowledge and i have received some very wonderful advice and will work on it!! the main bugs my ocd is most triggered by aren't as easy to go outside and spot as things like ants or snails (tags for specifics) but i will do my best to figure out Who they are and what their intentions are! 🫶🪲 i have also listened to a few podcasts on bugs which have helped me gain more knowledge on them as a whole! it really is nice to hear from people who are so passionate about the topic. thank you all again!!

ok bug people of tumblr i truly need help

please use your wisdom to help me understand why i SHOULDN'T be terrified of small insects in the world and in my house

i want to love them but my ocd says no, so if you have any easy-to-understand resources or books on lil bugs to help make them seem less mysterious or scary, it would be greatly appreciated thank you 💖🐜

#sorry for turning off RBs but i hope that some other people in the same boat as me will also benefit from the advice in the notes!! #thank you <3 #bugblr #i don't think anybody will see this but it's worth a shot!! #btw if anybody is curious it's specifically those tiny little guys that enter your house and just live there that freak me out #flies are awful too but those tiny guys you can't see until you look close?? who get comfy in your bathroom or in a corner somewhere??? #also fruit flies have a special place in my brain but it isn't a good special place it's a place with red flashing lights and sirens

[cryptocism]

the idea of Three keeping Four's corpse and even more than that, the thought of his reaction of Four's death in the first place, hits different knowing their messed up relationship and that they still saw each other even after Four was Inertia

yeah omg chapter 11 went through so many changes from first draft to final, and portraying Three and Four was a big part of that.

because i'm trying to do all these mirrors and echos with these characters and their relationships, Three and Four has a lot of the same ingredients as Six and Seven, Eight and Nine, or even Three and Five. (which are ultimately all foils of Bart and Thad, the different ways that their relationship and attitudes towards each other could manifest given different circumstances and choices, while still being distinct enough to stay true to each of the clones' characters)

Three and Four have the worst most toxic version of that dynamic, and figuring out how to write it without getting WAY too dark and gritty but still make clear these guys are super fucked up went through many many rewrites and changes. i think i landed in a pretty alright place by the end, although because the chapter is ultimately from Six's perspective, a lot of Three's internal conflict and Four's feelings/motivations can't be as blatant as I might've made it if either of them were the ones with the reigns on the narrative. instead their motivations feelings and emotions have to be kind of deconstructed from actions and gleaned through context.

i have my own like, "intent" when writing the things that Three and Four do and the choices that they make, but because their perspectives aren't actually shown there's likely a lot of room for reader interpretation. which i love to see tbh

#asks #anonymous #frequency fic #three and four in a fucked up power dynamic cycle of abuse and codependency makes my brain go brrrr i really wanted to nail it #they hate each other they want each other dead but also the lab is the only place Four can feel safe #and Four is the only person Three can ever interact with #and Three is the only person who knows Four isn't actually the original inertia #anyway they're both awful and i love them very much

[supergameboytwo]

Does being an accountant or an electrician pay more

#I'm leaning more towards electrician because I think it would be neat to learn a wizard trade skill #it would also enable my awful bullshit of learning new skill to let me make more cursed things #the world would be a worse place if I acquired an engineering degree #I think welder is probably something that would enable me even more strongly but I would be at least held back a little #because i would have to buy stock material and tools to make the bullshit thats stored inside my brain

[alectoperdita]

I wanna protect everyone who's still willing to draw joukai art in this day and age while braving how it's increasingly the fandom black sheep ship and tumblr's shitty reblogging drought

#not gonna lie I get so mad sometimes when I look at the notes and reblog rates of this ship's art compared to others #not gonna say which but it feels like every damn one at this point #but I can't blame anyone who gives up because they don't feel like they're getting validated for their efforts #makes me sad when they do or decide it's better to invest their time in other ships #understandably not everyone can keep going on spite like I do #🧂🧂🧂 #yeah yeah preaching to the crowd #there are many rare pairs out there with it worse #but at least no one is telling them that their ship is abusive or lecturing them #or i hope not because that shit is patronizing as hell and people should stfu #unsurprisingly I still have a chip on my shoulder there #look my brain is in an awful place because of work and I'm gonna rant about fandom instead

[running-in-the-dark]

help I can't stop thinking about furniture. it's keeping me from thinking about the other way more important things I need to be thinking about (Jenkins, Dan Fielding, etc.)

#I could have just said John Larroquette but. I didn't #but anyway kitchens are expensive furniture is expensive paint is expensive #if we were rich I would be having the best time of my life. I'd love moving to a new place. #I'm having the best time playing with my 3d model of the apartment like it's a doll house #BUT actually buying things in real life is hell and it makes me so sad #god. imagine all the furniture I could assemble if I had money... sigh #trying to think about my guys to fall asleep but the furniture won't let me. ugh. I love furniture so much. #I know we're going to ikea next week and it's so bad how stupidly excited I am about it #ikea was probably my first hyperfixation as a kid and I haven't liked anything else for this long (it's been like. 27 years lol) #I cannot be normal about it #I will get to build shelves. and put things in shelves. organise things. build our wardrobe (for the third time in three years) #whenever we buy the kitchen I'll get to build most of that and then organise it too #I'm soooo excited!! and this time I'm only like... slightly chronically ill! and I won't have two surgeries right after we move (I hope....) #so maybe I'll have enough energy that it won't be awful this time! #anyway #need to sleep it's 6:30 and I'm so tired but my brain won't shut up #also my cat. he is yelling at me. I don't know what he's trying to say but he's very upset apparently #personal

[sunkern-plus]

shout out to the people who can never have kids physically because their physical and mental health issues combined alone would put them at risk of serious harm or death if not on the right amount of pills at the right time, you guys are the real ones

#watching a the queer kiwi video about babylon bee's very unfunny shorts and like. the childless one is fucking awful #i don't want kids in the first place first of all #(not because i hate kids but because i doubt my ability to take care of any life more complex than a dog) #and second of all i literally have epilepsy so bad that i probably would die if i was off my medications #because my epilepsy is PARTIALLY TRIGGERED BY HORMONAL CHANGES #like if i have seizures if i'm on my period i will probably have seizures when i'm pregnant and that's uh. bad! #like my hypothetical baby would die of brain damage bad #like do conservatives WANT to be pro life or not because seizures + pregnant = dead baby #ableism for ts #actuallydisabled #actuallyepileptic #actuallypsychotic #actuallyautistic #actuallyocd #actuallyadhd #actuallyborderline #(because yeah without those mental health medications i'd probably die of suicide which. ALSO results in a dead baby) #again. why do they call themselves pro life if pregnancy for me would either result in brain death or suicide #(and pregnancy for people who had late onset epilepsy as bad as me and mental illnesses as bad as me)

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[daz4i]

how is it. that for a whole week. the house smelled fine, and other than some dust and cat hair it was really clean too, and everything was organized and easy to find with no towers of dishes in the sink about to topple over. even tho i didn't clean that much or do anything out of the ordinary to keep the house this way. but now my parents have been home for like 3 days and already every room except for mine is inhospitable from how bad they all smell, and there's mess all over, and the table is constantly sticky, and the sink is somehow full yet barely has any dishes in it bc the way they're organized is so ineffective, and i hate it here i wanna leave so bad

#i know i probably can't run a place in the long term on my own. but. neither can they apparently!!!!! damn!!!!!!!! #idk if it's been getting worse recently or if my patience just runs thinner lately #the way they live is just incompatible with me and my needs really #ough ough ough i need to move out. I'm so scared. but it'll be good for me probably. #I'm just fantasizing abt a clean apartment. no sticky surfaces. no bad smells. mmmmm #vent #sorry i had to clean my brain out. it did help tho. i needed to complain abt this shit 😭 #today has been awful in part bc of that. the constant bad smells that stick to everything. the inability to do things when i need to #this shit makes me literally unable to function on even the most basic levels... like i didn't really eat or move much bc i felt so bad #i have an easier time when I'm alone. life becomes easier to handle when i can do it on my own terms #but I'm so scared 😔 and I'm stressed about the process of getting there too #maybe this is the reason I'm having stress nightmares these days idk. i need to send some files for that. but I'm too scared

[so-very-small]

hi sorry for not updating sooner but im gonna be on a lil mini hiatus. lifes been whack so ive been taking a few days to do fuck all and play MMO's while i process a lot of Things. i'm totally okay, just needing a lil rest for rn. miss y'all, love y'all, see y'all soon <3

#you ever sit and watch the sky for a while. and it always looks like the sky. but hours later its a vastly different color #you were looking at it the whole while and never noticed the slow change as it happened until it was verbatim #i feel like that in my brain rn. i didnt notice the shifting gradients #and im not in an awful place rn. but i do need a bit of introspection and like. being gentle to myself #how does that correlate to taking a break from shitposts? idk #im just trying to like. idk what im trying to do actually #but it seems to be helping! im doing better than i was #i just need a few more days of allowing myself to Feel Things before i become the Court Jester again #again im alright and ill see yall soon! hopefully ill have polls then

[lemonysnicket]

actually i had a nice day :) just a solid good day. that hasn’t happened in a while. i love this gay earth <3

#i’m trying not to worry about it bc half of my brain IS convinced that the other shoe will drop #and that everything will be bad and awful because i’m not allowed to enjoy anything without it cursing me forever blah blah blah #kills my brain. sometimes i can just have nice things. even if smth happens later there’s no use ruining my joy now #i had a lovely talk with my lovely friends. i went to a lovely spring. i had a lovely dinner at a lovely place with my lovely mom + sibling #I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE NICE THINGS WITHOUT FEARING THAT THEYLL DAMN ME TO FURTHER HEARTACHE. #anyways. that’s all <3

[dustandshadows-if]

Hi, am new here! :)

I saw you have more than one IF.

Is Dust and Shadow your side project or your main one?

Or is it wherever the wind blows? 🍃

haiii:3 originally Dust and Shadows was just a side project that i was gonna work on along side embers of hope (my hunger games if) but i kinda got locked out of that account and havent been able to do much on that blog.

So right now, dust and shadows is like my main game, but im still working away on embers of hope, and hopefully, i can find a way back into the account soon. whenever i do, I'll try to work on both equally, but there is a chance that one might go into side project territory😊

#thanks anon! #i feel awful bc it looks like i abandoned embers of hope after promising a demo release but i promies i didnt😭😭 #and i havent abandoned shadows of the gun either im just running it through some heavy reworks #my brain is all of the place but i promise i havent abandoned anything #i love my pookies too much for that #emma thoughts.

[no1ryomafan]

There is nothing worse than being into a objectively niche series but it still has one part of the franchise thats considered popular at its peak and amongst its dedicated fanbase so it’s the best iteration to probably direct people towards-

Until you remember you’ve experienced most of the franchise and there’s other parts that are objectively better not only in beginner friendliness but also writing but you can’t recommend people it so easily because it’s the part that isn’t talked about enough even if it has its fans.

And the fact this happened to me twice makes me even sadder about it 💀

#meg text #Yes I’m vaguing about getter robo because what the fuck else would I be mentioning #I’m not tagging even if this post probably wouldn’t reach anywhere lol I’m just a awful tumblr user #But this is the feeling I’m being hit with because I have so much New getter brain rot all of a sudden #And most of the people I got Getter into was through arma and now I’m regretting it #I don’t like the getter series debate order because it really doesn’t matter outside of manga #and arma got me fully invested into the series #but damn if new doesn’t feel like it gets enough love and is a great starting place #this is mostly forming out of the fact I’m writing a new fic and none of my buds are reading it 💀 #it’s still getting views so I can’t complain but man #I literally had one irl watch it with me so far and we aren’t even done #Also the second one was mega man but people would argue ZX isn’t a good starting point so