#my fingers are enjoying their break except i'm losing my shit trying to NOT write redacted stuff

[mosaickiwi]

Fall Unto Me (part four)

Part one, part two, part three

The end of Angel!Angel and Demon!Ren yayyyy I'm sooo excited to have the rest of my brain back!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER (mostly).

A very long and nonsensical string of writing thoughts and notes on it will be posted much later. Also if anyone wants to ask questions I can answer them in the infodump or on discord if you want a more immediate response... I hope you enjoy da finale 👉👈 sorry this is my baby i really love talking about it but it was impossible til now fjdslkjflks

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

That mundane, quiet night had taken a turn for the better. You could barely move a muscle after trying to settle your curious desires for your devilish companion, though they still remained. The books and red string were put back where they belonged before you found yourself cradled in strong arms and curled under silken sheets.

Ren had brought you to rest in bed, arms keeping you securely nestled at their side. His bare chest felt incredibly warm against your cheek. The sound of their heart beat steadily, and you moved your head to hear it better. Mesmerizing, and comforting. 

“I'm… tired? Fatigued?” you muttered aloud. It was so hard to stay awake, your eyes kept fluttering. You’d never been quite so drained before.

He gently held your chin to look at you, smiling all the while. “Why do you think? You’re an absolutely ravenous angel. Were it not for that fatigue, you’d surely still have me pinned on the floor with your head thrown back in—”

“Hey!” you interrupted him. The casual way they said it had you suddenly embarrassed. Being aware of your newfound… ‘ravenous’ side was something else entirely.

“It was a wonderful sight, my love, little angel,” he sang your praises with adoration, ending at a word. That word. The one you didn’t know.

An odd little pet name you were all the more curious about.

“What's that word you keep saying?” you asked and his eyes suddenly widened. “I love all the endearing things you call me, but that one—I can't place it.”

“...Oh, love,” he whispered, muffled as they leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “I’m so sorry. I won't use it anymore.”

“Huh? Is it something bad?” You weren't sure what he meant by that, but you knew well and good they'd never say something cruel to you, let alone call you by a cruel word. Nonsensical as the question was, no other reason came to mind.

“Not at all. It's my favorite word,” his voice was soft, almost heartbroken. “I didn't think you'd forget it so soon… I'll tell you when you're ready, I promise. For now, you only need to rest.”

A simple nod in response on your part. You accepted the answer so easily. There was nothing to worry about anymore. With how exhausted you were from the act, sleep was a natural decision. You could talk in the morning. Or any morning after, you no longer minded. Eventually you'd leave, so what was another few days or weeks?

You settled in and closed your eyes, lulled to sleep by their heartbeat in your ear.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Cold. You woke up cold. Jolted awake from your own nightmare of falling, drowning in the endless clouds that you once walked upon with ease, only to land in the depths of the freezing ocean below you. With a hushed gasp, you sat up in bed.

The devil was asleep right beside you. Pink hair stained with eerie grays from the moon’s glow through the open window, horns so dark they almost blended into the shadows, ghastly inked patterns that crawled from their shoulders down to their hands. 

One of his was laced tightly with yours. 

You trembled as you slowly pried his fingers away, crawled backwards on the bed until you felt nothing under you and almost fell like that cursed dream.

But the same hands you struggled to get away from caught you. You found instant comfort in his touch, despite the disgust that climbed up your back when you woke—where did it come from? Why were you even trying to get away? 

“I've got you, it's alright,” Ren murmured softly. He guided you to stand, wrapping a wrinkled shirt over your naked shoulders along with his arms. You held on as tight as you could. Your fingers were shaking. 

“I need to—I need to go, Ren. Now,” you gasped into his chest. Your entire body was unsteady, vision blurred from tears you weren't capable of shedding. Whatever you were saying didn't make sense in your head. You needed to go… somewhere. You could picture the place—it had sunkissed clouds as far as the eye could see—but did it have a name?

He read your mind, gently offered the word you couldn't think of, “Heaven?”

There. Home. You nodded. 

“You'll only get hurt.”

“I already know I'll have to repent before my god,” you muttered sheepishly and pulled away, clutching the shirt like a cloak. His knowledge was vast as ever, but what did a demon know of heaven’s affairs? 

“No, little angel. If you even make it that far,” they cursed the realms under their breath and followed as you left the room in a sudden hurry. “They'll take whatever is left of your halo and wings.”

You didn't waste any time throwing open the cabin’s door and walking out into the cool night air. Forced to pause at the sight in front of you, you stared; the breathtaking field of flowers was fully blooming. They were finally as high as Ren promised, the tallest with their golden petals proudly on display in the hallowed shape of a halo.

The beauty only helped his words to sink in. Whatever is left of your halo and wings? You turned around, fully expecting him to be right behind you.

You were face to face as you questioned him, a bite of anger held in. “What do you mean?”

Blue eyes that only seemed paler in the night, once full of hatred for heaven, pooled with long lost grief. “You've fallen from their grace,” he said quietly.

“That doesn't happen.” You denied it quickly. Such a thing had never happened in all the histories of heaven, you at least knew that without ever reading those records. If what he said was true, it’d be common knowledge. A warning that all angels would heed.

“It does, because I—”

A bell rang in the darkened night sky above. Ren froze with unknown fear for a split second and hurriedly reached towards you, shouting something. Another bell obscured their voice, then another and another until the number grew to so many your thoughts drowned in their thunder. Someone was calling you home.

Before you even realized it your wings sprouted forth and threw the unbuttoned shirt he'd given you to the wind, bringing a burning anguish so suddenly intense to bloom in the middle of your back that you fell to your knees. Ren immediately kneeled in front of you. The pain and desperation in his voice pulled at your very core, except you couldn't understand a thing. The bells were so loud. You cried out sharply. It may as well have been silence from what little else you could hear. 

A cracking noise managed to cut through the clamor of the bells above. Translucent shards of stained glass dropped from your head and piled themselves in the dirt at your knees. There was so little of it but you recognized the golden shade, illuminated by the fire licking at your shoulders.

The halo that you'd gained once the library's doors had beckoned you. The few pieces that remained of it, anyway.

Your heart stopped, then started anew. A feeling worse than the holy fire that was turning your beloved wings from feathered grace to ash. He was right; you'd fallen long before this night.

A thousand bells began to still, one by one. You could start to hear Ren again, though only a few words were clear.

“...At night… Forgive… Happen… …Never wanted this for you.”

The last feather fell away into nothing, and the burning in your back, along with the bells, died with it. All the heat you could feel was the demon only inches away, his desolate gaze fixed to you.

You blinked, tear stained cheeks now icy from the salted wind blowing across the ocean. Bits and pieces came back as memories.

The simple, towering clouds that decorated the heavens far as the eye could see. A sun that shined brightly, an everlasting sunrise that greeted you no matter the day. The library that once seemed like paradise you were destined to guard for the rest of time. All echoes of the being that was no longer you.

Something was missing. 

“My… that word,” you whispered. He'd told you it was his favorite word. One that you’d forgotten. “... It was mine?”

He smiled as best he could. It didn't reach his eyes. “You remember it.”

“A little.”

“Then... let me say it for you?” he asked and you nodded. They leaned close, the word slowly leaving their lips with reverence, sadness, unwavering love.

Nothing about it sparked as familiar on the surface. But the word once belonged to you, that empty part inside understood it. Fresh tears welled in the corners of your vision. “When did they take it from me?”

Ren gently wiped your cheek as the tears overflowed again. “I don't know.”

“How—it was mine,” you repeated with a sob. You felt the cold seeping through you and huddled into his embrace. Their body felt more warm and inviting than anything around you. There was nothing—no one else you could ever reach out to anymore.

“I’m sorry. We only have eternity together, my love,” he breathed, tucking your head below his chin with a strangled noise. “I'll say it each and every day so you'll never forget it. I don't want to lose your name, either.”

#14 days with you #14dwy redacted #14dwy ren #cw religious themes #momo writing #posted a little early #i'm impatient #and i want to release myself from this prison /silly #AM I REALLY EVER FREE THOUGH? #my fingers are enjoying their break except i'm losing my shit trying to NOT write redacted stuff #that's totally normal right #if you've seen my brain leaking out in the discord for the past few weeks MY BAD!!! #<- it will keep happening

[gingernut1314]

Songbird Pt. 6

Summary: You've been a member of the Buggy Pirates for a month now and your Captain is not so happy about the chores you have been assigned.

Tags: Smut (dom!reader, sub!Buggy, oral m. and f. receiving, fingering), fluff??

Word Count: 4.0K

A/N: I am soooo sorry it's been such a long time. It's almost the end of the semester and my professors have taken that as their queue to kill me with every assignment known to man 😭 I'm going on Thanksgiving break next week so hopefully I'll have more time to write. I hope you all enjoy this part!!

Requested by: @srgtjamesbarnes

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You’ve been a part of the Buggy Pirates for a month now. A month full of scrubbing toilets, mopping floors, and washing dishes. You didn’t mind the work, it was similar to what you had done on Luffy’s crew. It gave you time to think up new lyrics and rhythms for your songs. 

You had expected to do the chores no one else wanted to do, knowing that you were the newbie here. That you would have to work your way up to less tedious chores if you wished it. 

What you hadn’t expected was Cabaji, the Chief of Staff, having some sort of vendetta against you. A vendetta he wielded against you like one of his throwing knives, sharp and quick. 

He watched you like a hawk, waiting for you to make a mistake--to miss a spot in your cleaning.

Oh, you thought that toilet had been scrubbed so clean you could eat off it? Wrong. Scrub it again. Had just finished mopping and was about to throw the dirty water overboard. Nope. Cabaji had just walked through the hallway and you needed to mop it again. 

You took it with grace, trying your hardest to never lose your head over his demands. It had been expected, such roughness. You had expected to receive more from the rest of the crew, but they seemed to be slowly getting used to you. Hell--the other girls on the crew had become your friends in a matter of a few days. 

But Cabaji was not one of them. He seemed to want to make your life a living hell with all the chores he assigned. And a true living hell he made it when he assigned you a new chore. 

Cleaning out the lion's room. The lion who had just as much of a vendetta against you as Cabaji due to the fact you had beat his master to a pulp. 

“Richie is very particular about how his room is cleaned.” Cabaji had said to you as he tossed you a shovel, which you had caught with ease. You had tried to keep the snarl off your face, Cabaji being higher up in rank than you, but had utterly failed. 

The acrobat had leaned in close, a wicked shit-eating grin on his face. “You mess up, he’ll tear your arm off. Maybe your head. The last guy was hardly recognizable.” And he had left without another word, leaving you in Richie's room, which he had all to himself. A room that rivaled every room you had ever had yourself, the lion basically living in luxury.

You had just started to shovel when Richie came scrolling in and plopped himself down on his bed, watching your every move just as Cabaji would. Except he wouldn’t tell you to do it again, he would eat you. 

Richie had just growled at you for the hundredth time after you dropped a bit of his shit when he froze, looking almost wide-eyed and terrified, if a fearsome lion could look as such, at something behind you. 

“What the hell are you doing in here?” The sound of your captain's voice had your heart fluttering in absolute excitement. You hardly ever saw him during the day, you too busy with your chores, which kept you in the belly of the ship, and he busy with his captain duties. 

But night after night you would steal away to his quarters and fuck each other silly before falling into some of the best sleep you had ever had in your life. Just the mere thought of his arms around you, his soft lips kissing you, had you gravitating over to be closer to him. 

“Captian.” You said, your voice showing off your excitement to see him with little embarrassment. In the past, you might have scoffed at yourself for being this excited over a man, but it was Buggy--he made you all warm and gooey on the inside. 

“I’m doing my chores.” Buggy narrowed his eyes dangerously at this, a danger he directed the lion's way who gave a low, mournful sound. You placed a hand on his arm, directing those green-blue eyes back onto you. “Have you gotten much work done today?” You asked, filling your voice with low, sweet tones as you pulled yourself to your tippy toes to give him a kiss on his cheek. 

To your almost hurt surprise, he stopped you with a tight grip around your arm, holding you away. 

“Hey--” You started, wanting to complain sharply about his denial of your affections. 

“Did Cabaji tell you to scoop this overgrown cat's kitty litter?” Buggy asked, that harshness never once leaving his voice. Richie gave another pathetic little whine from behind you. 

“Um…he gives out the chores doesn’t he?” Buggy gave a dramatically angered growl, his hand falling from your arm as he stormed out of Richie’s room. You looked towards the lion, who was all but pressed against the wall, looking like he might pass out, before rushing after your captain. 

“Captain--wait. What’s wrong?” You called, doing a little jog to catch up to the fuming man. 

“What’s wrong is that string bean is going to get thrown overboard with a rock tied around his ankles.” You huffed at his dramatics, quickly stepping in front of him. 

“Buggy. Stop.” You said, placing a hand on his chest to keep him from moving around you. He did as you said, though that danger never left those beautiful eyes of his. It was a danger that always pulled you in whenever it shone in his eyes. 

“Y/N. Move.” He said like he had meant to snap it at you, but it fell short. 

“Why the sudden bloodlust?” You asked, fingers moving over the stitching of his elaborate shirt in, hopefully, a calming touch. Buggy moved only so he was closer to you. “I love it,” You teased, “but why?” Buggy gave another little growl. One that vibrated through your hand and down your arm, making your excited nature shift. Shift to something that much more exciting. 

“You shouldn’t be shoveling shit.” That was what this was all about. Buggy not wanting you to do the dirty work. It had your heart doing a little dance. 

“Sure…but who would do it then?” Buggy blinked down at you for a second, as if stunned you were okay with this. “I’m okay with my chores. It’s nothing I haven’t done before. I’ll be fine as long as Richie doesn’t tear my arm off.” You tried to joke but it only seemed to make that bloodlust towards his second mate deepen. 

“Well, I’m not.” He snapped, grabbing hold of you again only so he could move you out of his way. 

You were not having it, not one bit. Not when you hardly got to see Buggy in the daylight like this. All illuminated and looking so pretty and murderous. And as much as you would love to watch Buggy rip into someone for you, you couldn’t have that person be Cabaji. You were too close to getting on the guy's good side--too close to winning him over. 

With all the strength you could muster up, you grabbed Buggy around the waist and all but slammed him into the wall beside you. A small, startled yelp escaped his lips at the action. A yelp that turned into a low whimper on his lips as you fit your leg between his, pinning him in place. 

Gods--he looked so flustered and passive against you. That shifted excitement nestled deeper within you as you watched a rich blush spread over his cheeks, his green-blue eyes wide looking down at you. 

“If you step in, Captain, none of the crew is going to learn to accept me.” You said lowly, running your hands slowly downward from their spot on his waist, another little noise you loved to hear spilling from his lips. “I’ll be the butt of the joke.” And through his passive fog, you saw that danger spike again. 

“That’s what Cabaji is making you out to be right--” You shushed him, pressing your body that much closer to his. His blush only seemed to deepen. 

“He’s testing the newbie. That’s all. No biggy.” You said calmly, running your hands down his lower back to find their home cupping his ass. You gave the bits of flesh a tight squeeze and that little noise came spilling out of him again, his gloved hands coming up to take hold of your arms. 

“Songbird--” He grit out lowly. “You’re--you’re not just any old newbie.” You hummed with a nod. Pulling a hand back, you brushed a finger over his red-painted lips. Paint you had watched him apply this morning with skillful precision while laying in his bed. Buggy leaned into the touch, silently asking for more. You did so without a second thought, cupping his face so you could rub his painted cheek. His eyes fluttered closed. 

“I’m your newbie. And I’m willing to prove myself to you--serve you.” An airy groan escaped his lips, those green-blue eyes lully back open. It brought a smirk to your face. A smirk that turned near devious when you felt his cock begin to harden against your hip. 

“How does that sound, Captain?” You asked, running your hand down that sharp, stubble-covered jaw of his. Down the column on his throat, which bobbed on a swallow. Your hand continued its travel downward, coming to a stop at his belt which you gave a teasing tug on. 

He grit his teeth at the action, his hand brushing up your arm as he grabbed your chin in a loose hold. His thumb ran over your bottom lip, tugging at it lightly to see teeth. 

“Fuck, songbird--you are all mine, aren’t you?” He said, his grip tightening the slightest bit on your chin. 

“Yours and only yours, Captain.” You lulled, beginning to unbuckle his belt. Buggy cursed as he crashed his lips to yours, claiming your mouth with that fiery passion that made your head spin and body melt into his.

Your hands found their way back around his waist, pulling him flush against your needy body. A body that nearly had a mind of its own as you directed Buggy off the wall and down the hall. Buggy followed, his hands leaving your face to grab your ass in a tight squeeze, keeping you against him. A stumble and the stepping on toes was what finally had Buggy’s lips pulling away from your own. You huffed at their absence, rising up on your tippy toes to find them again. 

“Song-” You kissed him, silencing his words, “bird.” He finished his little pet name for you. One that continued to drive you crazy. “Where are we--” You cut him off once more with another kiss, your hand fumbling with a door knob. Once opened, you all but shoved Buggy into the dark room, closing the door behind you both. 

The smallest sliver of light dimly illuminated the cluttered space you were in. Light that had been dim to begin with, so it truly did nothing for viability. Not that you needed it to know where you were--to know where most everything was. 

You had spent too much time in and out of this little supply closet thanks to Cabaji. A closet you were very thankful for in that moment when your body buzzed and ached to have your captain all to yourself. 

You grabbed hold of Buggy again, all but shoving him into the cleaning supplies-filled shelf behind him, said supplies rattling upon impact. He huffed out a breath before his lips claimed yours again, burning them away with every needy movement. 

“It smells like--” Buggy breathed between kisses, “shit and bleach in here.” 

“This is the supply closet.” You said, brushing your lips against his and pulling away quick enough to avoid him claiming them once more. Buggy gave a huffy little growl, his grip on your waist tightening. It brought a wicked little smirk to your face. “I think a family of rats is living in here.” You spoke lowly, your fingers finishing unlooping his belt. 

Buggy gave another little growl that was full of frustration and anger. The same anger you had dragged him in here to forget about. 

“Why the hell do I allow that useless, overgrown kitten to stay if he can’t even keep away a few rats,” Buggy growled against your lips before meshing them together, an action you had half a mind to keep doing, your head spinning the way it was--how your lips burned and buzzed and needed more, more, more. 

“He’s just a big old baby. Probably scared of them.” You murmured, kissing his cheek and jaw before sinking to your knees, hands dragging downwards over his body as you went. Buggy’s breath hitched in his throat.

“I-I wanted a bloodthirsty man-eater, not some lion scared of his own shadow.” 

“He did eat Esmeralda’s horse.” Esmeralda, once Buggy’s equestrian stunts act, now merely a flashy gymnast that talks relentlessly in her sleep. It was a fact she still teared up over whenever it was brought up. “And gnawed on someone so bad he was unrecognizable. I would say that’s pretty bloodthirsty.” Buggy gave an annoyed huff that only lodged itself in his throat as you began tugging his pants lower. 

“And that is exactly why you shouldn’t be shoveling his shit. I’ll make that tuff of grass do it.” Buggy gave that funky little laugh you loved. “Cover him in cat-nip first, see how he likes getting--” Buggy’s plotting came to a sharp, huffy close as you freed his cock and wrapped your fingers around the bit of silky flesh.

“Captian.” You drawled, giving him a slow pump that pulled that whiny, breathy little moan you craved from his lips. “You have so much on your plate already.” Buggy cursed as you smoothed your thumb over the droplet of precome that had begun to leak from his slit. “Let me handle it--let me take your mind off it.” You said before kissing the tip of his cock. Buggy groaned, gloved hand reaching out to touch your cheek and jaw and hair. Touches you leaned into and savored. 

“Fu-fuck. Sure--sure thing, songbird.” You smirked before kissing his head again, Buggy’s hips bucking against the fleeting touch. His grip on your cheek tightened, trying to pull you closer to his twitching cock. 

“Ah, ah, ah--Captain. Where are your manners?” Buggy gave a gruff of frustration at your teasing, his gloved fingertips digging into the flesh of your cheek in a way you loved. “Say please.” 

“Please--gods, please, baby. I need to feel your mouth--such a fucking sexy mouth.” He begged. That smirk he had pulled from your lips stayed plastered there as you started to pump him slowly. 

“Such a good boy.” A sharp curse had just spilled from him when you wrapped your lips around him, swirling your tongue around his head. 

Buggy gave a string of moany noises that might have been your name, might have been your nickname, and could have possibly been another curse. In all likelihood, it was all of the above. 

The fact that you turned him into such a blubbering mess--had him gripping onto the shelf behind him so tight it knocked some bottle of cleaner off onto the floor--was intoxicating. So intoxicating you wanted to drag more and more of those dramatic reactions out of him. 

You took him deeper, flattening your tongue so you might feel every bit of soft skin and vien his cock had to offer. Your hands roamed over his thighs, holding him close as you continued to take him deeper and deeper into our mouth. Deeper and deeper until the head of his cock tickled the back of your throat, causing a wet sound to escape you. 

Buggy’s moan was long and low, his head falling back against the wooden shelf with a distinct bump. His hands found their way back to your face, caressing your forehead and cheeks and ears and jaw. And as you began to pull off him again, setting a teasingly slow pace and swirling your tongue around his leaking head every time you came to it, his thumbs brushed over your lips wrapped around him--felt the tight seal of where you two connected.

“F-fuck--songbird. You’re so fucking good. So fucking warm. Oh gods--” He said, his words falling from his mouth like some breathy, moany little waterfall. 

It was like music to your ears. Music knew you would sing right back to him as soon as he had come and was a sweat-covered mess before you. 

His head fell back again as you took him deep, something landing on the floor beside you with a soft thud. With a quick glance, you were able to see a flash of orange and blue in the dimness of the supply closet. 

His hat. He’d knocked his hat off with his dramatics. 

You pulled off of him with a pop, the clown giving a whiny noise as he grabbed at your face to keep you there. 

“Songbird--baby, please--” You shushed him in comfort, running your hand up and down his thigh. 

“I don’t want your hat to get dirty.” You said, grabbing for his hat quickly. You dusted it off in a dramatic action of your own, making Buggy huff another whine down at you. 

“I don’t care about the damn--” His words caught in his throat as you pulled it onto your head. Buggy’s mouth hung open, whatever words he had been trying to say coming out as a croaking sort of sound that had you laughing.

“Is this okay, captain?” His cock only seemed to grow harder--grew more needy in front of you. A neediness your own body burned with. 

“Fuck…” He said lowly, his thumb brushing over your lips again. “Hell yes, baby.” You scooted closer once more so you could easily take him back into your mouth. Buggy instantly become a drooping, putty-like mess against your every touch. 

You started your slow pace again, teasing the poor man to utter tears before you picked up your pace. The blue hair-like tassels on either side of his hat brushed against your shoulders with every bob of the head. 

“Songbird--” He moaned, tangling his fingers in your hair. His hips began to buck, driving his cock that much deeper down your throat, pulling those wet, lude sounds from you. “I’m gonna--fuck, I’m gonna come, baby.” You hummed around him, bringing a hand up to cup his balls. To tell him to let go and help bring him closer and closer to his finish. 

Buggy grabbed your face in a tight hold, stopping your movements only so he could thrust into your mouth like you were his own personal toy. 

It was addictive, getting used in such a way. In a way that had you gagging around his cock and your eyes filling with tears but gods did you love it. Had you reaching into your pants to find your clit to give you any sort of relief from the utter painful horniness that had been building up in you. 

Buggy’s thrusts became uneven and frantic and soon he was shoving himself to the base, spilling his come down your throat in spurts. You drank every last hot drop he gave you, slurping it down like it was your favorite cocktail. 

Heh, cocktail.

Buggy pulled his cock from your mouth with a pop and fell to his knees before you as you caught your breath in quick heaves. His gloved hands, still tangled in your hair, pulled your lips against his in a sloppy kiss. One full of tongue and lips and teeth and the hot panting of breath. 

“Did I serve you well, Captain?” You panted, your hand coming up to feel the stubble of his jaw. His green-blue eyes lightened in such a beautiful way it nearly stole your breath from your lungs. 

“Very well, songbird.” One of his hands untangled itself from your hair and grabbed at the wrist that was connected to the hand you were currently still rubbing your clit with. He yanked your hand out of the front of your pants, making you give your own whiny huff of frustration. “Let me show you how thankful I am.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as Buggy brought your fingers into his mouth, his tongue swirling around them in a way that your caught breath falling out in a throaty moan. “Ye-yes, captian.” Buggy pulled your fingers from his mouth, that funky laugh of his filling your ears.

He shoved you down, your back hitting the smelly wooden floor making you give a great huff upon impact. Buggy unbuttoned your pants before you could even think to reach for them and yanked them, and your underwear, down your legs where they collected around your ankles. 

A yelp escaped your lips as he yanked you closer, putting your bound ankles over his head so your knees hooked over his shoulders. 

“So fucking sexy, baby.” He said before running his warm tongue through your dripping and needy folds. You moaned out his name, pulling yourself upwards as best you could. 

“Taste so fucking good.” He murmured against your pussy before clasping his mouth around your clit, sucking it in a way he had learned you liked from night after night of practice aboard the Going Merry. His mouth fell away only to dip into your folds, pushing into you and lapping up your juices like some rabid dog. 

You shook against the electric pleasure he pulling from your body. Shook and twitched and moaned against it all. Moaned so loud you were sure the whole ship would hear you, but Buggy hardly cared--you hardly cared. Not when he was eating you out like it was his last meal on earth. 

You grabbed for his hands holding your thighs in a tight grip, but found one missing. One that reappeared with a quick slap of your ass that made your hips buck upwards, his nose rubbing against your clit in a way that drove you crazy. 

You fucking loved that nose of his, no matter how much he hated it himself. Loved how it made his handsome face, how it fit him so well--complimented his face just as much as his eyes did. You loved it even more when you could use it to bring yourself closer and closer to your end. 

His tongue pulled from your core, only to move it against your clit in swirling, flicking movemets he had learned to do all too well. His detached hand, ungloved now, came up to sink a finger into you. A finger that was joined by another and they both quickly found that spongy spot just about an inch up in you, rubbing it at a steady pace that brought you closer and closer and closer. 

“Buggy--oh gods. So good--baby, so good!” You moaned out, your hips moving with a mind of their own, knowing you would be unable to stop them even if you weren’t all blissed out. “I’m gonna--come. Captain, I’m gonna come.” He moaned into your pussy, keeping everything paced just right until you were clamping around his fingers and moaning out his name as buzzing pleasure shook through your body. 

You’re body fell slump, your breath ragged in your throat as Buggy pulled your legs back over his head. His strong arms scooped you up like a child, pulling you to sit in his lap and hold you close against his panting chest. 

Buggy’s face buried itself in the crook of your neck and you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him that much closer. 

“Feel--feel less bloodthirsty now?” You asked between pants. Buggy growled into your neck, teeth biting at the sensitive skin there. 

“For now…but one wrong move and I’ll gut that frog-faced bastard.” You huffed in amusement, kissing his forehead as best you could.

“All that just for me? How sweet.” You joked. Buggy’s arms tightened around you all that much more, holding you like he was trying to keep you all to himself. Teeth turned into soft, wet kisses against your neck making your heart flutter.

“Anything for you, songbird.”

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[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

#farscape #meta

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [stories of the gals getting ready at a mad early time like ???] Janis: they know the party really starts at midnight, yeah? 🤔 Jimmy: they know they'll be 🎃 or 🐀s by then, gotta get all the selfies they can before the clock strikes, obvs Jimmy: REAL question is do I have time to tattoo anti-Tory slogans across my whole body before her dad comes back to see me ✨ or not Janis: Tag yourself, 🎃 or 🐀, you're clearly the 🎃 Janis: duh, you've got the ink, I'll bring the needle Janis: easy Jimmy: 'cause I'm SO 😁 about this party, near as 🎃 Jimmy: what can I write to let him know my truest feelings about lawyers? 🤔🤔 Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: weren't just calling you fat with a dodgy spray tan Janis: though it does sum up half the clan so 👏🏆 Janis: VERY working class Janis: perfect Jimmy: but if the 👠 fits, yeah? I get it Jimmy: only #DRAMA'll be if Ian rates them an' all Jimmy: I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or chuck a 👗 on to go with them 👠 Janis: SO many men, SO many ways to please 'em/piss 'em off 😤😰 Janis: and the shoe don't fit you babe, sort of the whole point Janis: 👸✔ Jimmy: 😘😘😘 Jimmy: just carry it about so I can start a 🥊 nowt more common than a chipped tooth and black eye Janis: be PLENTY of candidates for a smack Janis: not sure if there'll be many who could get one in though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻 have to get my mascara running another way, huns Janis: 🤢 Janis: you when your gag reflex kicks in Jimmy: SHOULD I spray tan? Tell me honestly Janis: 😬 Jimmy: go on, what one do you use? looks well natural Janis: 😏 Idiot Janis: @ my sister 'cos hers ain't Jimmy: oh right, fancy dress 🥳 is it? Jimmy: THANK GOD you said Janis: if you ain't gone anywhere more exotic than Skerries for the break, you've GOT to pretend hun Jimmy: brb painting myself Janis: remember to do the backs of your legs Janis: don't wanna match Asia Jimmy: how many 🥊 do you reckon to knock her 🦷🦷 out? Jimmy: can't do no 🥇 twinning with them there Janis: could do it under 5 but you might lose more fingers Jimmy: o wi no f Jimmy: mysterious Janis: you what? Jimmy: it'll ruin daddy's favourite tattoos but Jimmy: the 😎🚬 Janis: oh Janis: pftt Janis: you'll have a few years before you've ruined it with all the coffee machine burns Jimmy: such a relief, that Janis: what's more 💪 #ladladlad than various injuries Jimmy: tah for letting me know before my rib has healed and I've pissed away all the content I could've had Janis: I mean, that's why he does it yeah Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: bit late for any dickhead to try to toughen me up Jimmy: wrong location an' all Janis: you're tough enough Janis: some would say you look rough in that 👗👠 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I'm well busy turning myself into that Bargain Hunt bloke Janis: *budget HUN Jimmy: give me a break, Jodie, it's happening on mine in the CG 🚽 Janis: busy working boss babe, I get it Janis: I'm busy too, tah Jimmy: doing what? Janis: 🐕🏃 Janis: people wanna get ready/get pissed without worrying about their pooches, who knew Jimmy: I get it🎇🎆'll start and they'll all shit themselves, helps if they've already done a 💩 Janis: that, and I doggy drug them so Janis: everyone's 😁 Jimmy: except Ian, he'll be 💔😭🎻 you ain't poisoned ours for the night Janis: There really is no pleasing some people Jimmy: @ Sharon in a bit Janis: when she's had enough seccys to spill the good goss Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🗨 about as good as the time he'll be threatening her with Janis: Ick Janis: I hate this night Jimmy: subtle hint and challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll turn it round for you, girl Janis: you ain't competing with much but Janis: go ahead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need a thumb in the middle gladiator style Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'll decide your fate, that's not necessarily rude Jimmy: which one's the 💀💀💀 one? Janis: 👎 I think Janis: but you'll be 👍 so maybe we need to switch it Jimmy: don't need to be fluent at signing to come up with a signal Jimmy: I'll make it really obvious for you when I want you to do it Janis: gun through the roof of your mouth is a bit obvious to the rest of the party-goers though, remember Jimmy: you want subtle you can have subtle Janis: I want you to do what you want Janis: if we're not enjoying fucking up their party, what's the point Jimmy: I don't do nowt I don't want Jimmy: far as this goes Jimmy: enough of that bollocks everywhere else Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: and I meant what I said Jimmy: not actually 😁 but Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: we're 🥇 Janis: it's them having the 💩 time Jimmy: already Jimmy: [group chat highlights] Janis: 😏 Janis: do we know which of them is bringing a victim? Jimmy: Asia DUH Jimmy: Tammy's the only one who had me #SHOOK Janis: bullshit Janis: be SO awks when her fake boyf doesn't show Jimmy: be so 💔 when it ain't a full set no more Jimmy: even 💀#2's spreading it about that there's a lad she wants to 💋 Janis: 😂 either you or her is lying now Janis: I'll place my bets Jimmy: insider tip, it ain't me Jimmy: I'd NEVER lie to you, sweetheart Janis: 💕 Janis: does it make Mia 😁 or 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 REALLY though Janis: that's the question Jimmy: my 💰's on 😁 when it don't happen Janis: that's with any of them 👑 Janis: thinks she's the 👸 of the story Jimmy: who's she faking it is? that's the real question Jimmy: remind me how many brothers you've got again Janis: just the 1, that's easy to remember, keep up Jimmy: if he were gonna brainwash himself into a new sexuality, she'd DEFINITELY be who for Janis: ✨ she ain't Janis: god bless Jimmy: 🙄 back to ootds, fuck's sake Asia Janis: Do you wanna see mine now or be pleasantly surprised later Jimmy: Do you want me to chuck this ☕ over the dickhead who ordered it or what? Janis: surely that goes without saying Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: [some lewk you won't be able to serve 'cos god damnit we deserve it] Jimmy: shit Janis: tell Asia she may as well stay home then? Jimmy: [does but in a way that's like loved up and #goals not like fuck you gals obvs] Jimmy: when did you sort that? Jimmy: it weren't the other day, I'd have 👀 Janis: would you? you were pretty distracted Janis: I had it way at the back of my wardrobe though Jimmy: Oi, don't be doubting my dedication to 🛍 Janis: you're well dedicated to the try-on, I know Jimmy: I know what matters, yeah Janis: you're gonna have time to get all your glitter on, yeah? Jimmy: I'll make time, LITERALLY see above for why, like Janis: Priorities, baby Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: I'll let you get on with spilling more coffee over more dickheads then Janis: 🕖 will fly Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: oi Jimmy: you are Janis: how am I? Jimmy: you know how Jimmy: you're gonna just 💀💀💀 me and piss off? Janis: You're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it feels like I could Janis: that's how I want you to feel Janis: do you want me to apologize? Jimmy: I want Janis: you want Janis: ❓ Jimmy: you here Janis: I want that too Janis: but I can't Janis: both busy Jimmy: that's why you're a dickhead Janis: blame your manager Janis: and these dogs Jimmy: they're not sending me 📷 Jimmy: looking so fucking Janis: should hope no Janis: t* Janis: your DMs are full enough without that blatant competition Jimmy: would explain the TENSION and shite shifts Janis: oi Jimmy: never said I were gonna give him any 😍 or 💌 back Janis: 😣 Janis: will have to ask to see your manager to fuck him up Jimmy: I get that you're just making sure my 😍 stay yours but I can't help falling for it Janis: Gotta do what I gotta do Janis: even if it means Karen-ing out Jimmy: not too busy for that? Janis: never too busy for a brawl Janis: um, defending your honour, I mean Jimmy: priorities Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: you ARE my priority Jimmy: *🐕🏃💰 Janis: what are you doing right now Janis: ☕💰 Jimmy: difference is I could and would be able to still ☕🎨 if I had you here on this counter an' all Jimmy: 🐕s ain't letting you do owt but 🏃 Janis: Trying to work out if you want me to give you the chance to prove that or not Jimmy: you think I've got owt to prove? Janis: Not to me Jimmy: who else? Jimmy: you're the only one I'm bothered about Janis: then Jimmy: then what? Janis: If I get time Janis: and get rid of all these dogs at a point Janis: I could try to come in Jimmy: 🚫🤞 Jimmy: but Janis: I know Janis: it's bullshit but Janis: I mean that I'll try Jimmy: it's not nowt that you mean that Janis: I am doing the route 'round mine though Janis: typically Janis: so it will take me a while regardless Jimmy: I'll be here ages Jimmy: maybe he wants to make his move after I've flipped the sign to closed Janis: doesn't he know we're the only ones allowed to be cliche Jimmy: knows nowt unless it's written in the work groupchat Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: kind of you Janis: I could just pull up on him Jimmy: STOP OMG 🤤🤤🤤😍😍 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [a selfie with the manager in the background and he's drawn a 🎯 on him like] Janis: [finger gun selfie like pew pew] Jimmy: alright, don't keep reminding me how fit you are Janis: heaven forbid ANYONE forgets Janis: gonna take SO many selfies tonight Jimmy: Oi Janis: *couple goals selfies Jimmy: 📷's my job, dickhead Jimmy: don't matter if I'm in 'em or not Janis: so possessive about your 📸 Jimmy: bollocks am I, I've offered to lend it loads of times Janis: must be the muse then Jimmy: she is 🥇 Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: but I could teach you 📸 there's nowt you could teach any dickhead about how you're 🥇 Janis: 📸 not the only thing you're 🥇 at Jimmy: there's a list you've got, so I've heard Janis: more than a maybe Janis: ✔ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you can have another Janis: at midnight Janis: better than a 💋 from a drunk randomer Jimmy: you're still gonna kiss me though Jimmy: ! and ? Janis: look weird if I didn't Jimmy: if you don't wanna I'll arrange to be 😭😭😭 in the 🚽 with Ella and Tammy Janis: highly doubt #2 has the energy to fake tears, let alone produce 'em Jimmy: just me and the tiktok 👑 then Jimmy: bit weird and cosy but Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: *💔 you mean Janis: you know I want to Jimmy: you have to, I'm turning the night round for you, as promised Janis: and that's your answer, yeah? Jimmy: if your question's how I'm gonna do it, I ain't gonna answer Jimmy: ⏲ and 👀 Janis: alright Janis: not promising patience Jimmy: I know what you're like, it's alright Jimmy: nowt if not used to that, me Janis: sound more put upon Janis: dickhead Jimmy: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: there you go Janis: ha ha Janis: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣** there YOU go Jimmy: **🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you'll do yourself an injury Jimmy: not ANOTHER one 🎻 Janis: you brought it up, that time Janis: let the record show Jimmy: but it's you who's making it sound like I need to chuck a load of fragile stickers on my head Jimmy: good job it's massive Janis: I am not Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: get in the group chat if you wanna chat like that Janis: BOY Jimmy: never left, I'd be GUTTED to miss one of Asia's POSSIBLE ootds Janis: stay in there Jimmy: [sends her the worst of these lewks] Janis: What's she going for with that... Janis: I? Jimmy: 🐧? Jimmy: hang on, no, it's OBVS 🦨 Janis: the slaggy one from Bambi Jimmy: very on brand of her Janis: interesting theme Janis: bit characters from retro disney Jimmy: 💀👑 must've sorted it Jimmy: ☠🍎's on brand for her Janis: she thinks the queen but definitely the crone Jimmy: don't she eat the lass' 💘 in the 📖? have to get her calorie counter app out Janis: actually a pigs heart so factor that in, babe Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: so much fat Janis: don't fancy it any more on the way back up Jimmy: I don't fancy my 🍪🧁🥐 no more, tah for that, mate Jimmy: gonna look so skinny in a bit now Janis: **less fat Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: ILY 2 BABES 💖🙌 Jimmy: such BFF goals, us Janis: rival 💀👑 n #2 Jimmy: 👏👏🥀 Janis: is she still with my brother or what Jimmy: dunno Jimmy: been a bit busy telling Asia she's dead brave for going with that 👗 Janis: 😏 Janis: shame she's thick enough to be expecting the 🥇 in the post Jimmy: I'll ask 💀👑 if she's doing a couple's outfit if #2 answers we'll have ours about your brother Janis: 💡 Janis: can't accuse you of the same today Jimmy: [sends her whatever the answer is] Janis: [probably should still be together for the drama and we're not committing you to ages here so] Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you'll have even more fun ruining it Janis: yeah Janis: we will Jimmy: 💔 we can't steal the 🎤 off her with some MASSIVE announcement Janis: we could fake one but fake calling off the engagement is more hardcore than fake break up, remember that Jimmy: don't worry me Jimmy: every dickhead knows LDRs don't work Janis: neither does teen marriage Janis: not #goals either Jimmy: What then? 🏠🔑? 🐕? Janis: fucked if I know Jimmy: ✈️ tickets 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: that's never not Janis: and easy to fake Janis: easy for us, anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where we fake going then Jimmy: Where do you wanna go? Janis: 🍸🛍💃☕✨ OBVS Janis: but we should say your hometown Janis: most believable Janis: awh factor is a bonus Janis: you'll have 📸s Jimmy: you sure? Jimmy: nowt #goals about being there Janis: the #trust is the #goals bit Janis: anyway, you aren't going to have an actual break from CG for a million years so Janis: only a long weekend, all we have to do is hide the whole time, what's not to 💕? Jimmy: I get it, this is 'cause I said that whatever we do is #goals Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll make it look 🍸🛍💃☕✨ Janis: Sure you can Janis: don't you think it's a good idea Janis: could go over dead cheap, no one is going to think it's a stretch Jimmy: it'll do Janis: no one'd give me sympathy for my fake miscarriage so Janis: yeah, have to Jimmy: know our audience Janis: any bitch with half a brain'd reckon it 🍀 to get away with the sob story not the unwanted brat Jimmy: don't need any fake kids to raise an' all, got enough on with the real ones Janis: exactly Janis: be well rude of me Jimmy: bag of sugar'd just disappear into my tea Jimmy: near enough a murder Janis: 💀 there's slow n painful and then there's that Jimmy: bit bored of the rumours going about but Jimmy: end up with some right weirdos in my DMs if we went with that Janis: you rate the ones you got now then? Jimmy: as harmless enough Jimmy: the only 💀💀💀 pact I want is the one we have Janis: right answer Jimmy: I'll give you loads more of them before tonight's over with Janis: I'll give you whatever you like Janis: can't promise it'll be what you wish for at midnight but Jimmy: what you're NOT a 🧠📖? Janis: I am, OBVIOUSLY Janis: just don't think I can get it done, soz Jimmy: ? Janis: 🤫 Janis: can't reveal my secrets Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: mm 😏 Jimmy: did fall for how mysterious you are so Janis: that's the story Jimmy: 💕 Janis: who HASN'T fallen for my mystery, that's the question Jimmy: if this were a film or something one of them dogs would've cocked his leg on you as that sent Janis: rude Janis: if it was a film, I'd bump into a 😒 man and he'd be so unimpressed and I'd be so 😳 Jimmy: that murderer from a bit ago popping back Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: come bump into me, there ain't a more 😒🌧 about Janis: *Bill trying to get the story back on track Jimmy: I promise you'll be SO 😳 Janis: you're Janis: distracting me Jimmy: you started it Janis: you asked for it Jimmy: I will if it means I can have it Janis: try it then Jimmy: please Janis: yep Janis: okay Janis: let me just Jimmy: just hurry up, please Janis: I am Janis: you don't need to keep saying it and killing me Jimmy: [a voice memo to keep saying it and killing her obvs] Jimmy: do I not? alright Janis: I hate you a bit Jimmy: only 🤏? Janis: only? Janis: this doesn't feel like only Jimmy: so how much do you really hate me? Janis: so fucking much Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: got loads of ideas, me Jimmy: done nowt but think about you since I got here Janis: taking it despite the obvious Jimmy: where you obviously are on the fuming scale, yeah Janis: the obvious fact that your job is boring and so are your customers Jimmy: and co-workers Janis: your girlfriend ain't working then Jimmy: bit rude to call Pete a lass, his hair ain't even that long Janis: not who I meant but I'd know if he was in you'd be 😍 and ignoring me Jimmy: who did you mean? Janis: idk her name Janis: hillary Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: loads of dickheads have called in sick, bit weird that Janis: so strange Janis: going about, that Jimmy: she's probably one, whoever you mean Janis: hannah? Janis: lucy? Janis: you know who I mean Jimmy: I don't Janis: ugh Janis: the one that gave me evils Jimmy: her? ain't seen her since then Jimmy: assumed you'd murdered her Janis: fuck around and find out Jimmy: how'd you do it then? Janis: made her drink some bleach instead of putting it on her head for once Janis: easy Jimmy: Bill must've been chuffed to bits Janis: his idea, if anyone asks Jimmy: should've used a dagger if you wanted him to take the fall Jimmy: #obsessed Janis: didn't float one to me in time Janis: his own fault Jimmy: part timer Janis: thought you were accusing me Jimmy: you're not a piss poor 👻 Janis: tah Janis: 💕 Jimmy: far as your 🧛 rating goes Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: see the evidence of that Janis: speaks for itself so Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I don't have the teeth or owt and I've done as decent of a job Jimmy: that speaks for itself an' all Janis: speaks for how irresistible I am Jimmy: gonna have to stop calling you 💪🏆🥇 if this pissing about keeps on Janis: I told you I had to finish up THEN get to town Janis: cheek of you Jimmy: cheek of you to ever call me soft, more like Janis: steady on Jimmy: should give you the nicest 🧛🏆 Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock one up Janis: I'll be a laughing stock Janis: you should be dead/my servant by now Jimmy: that's what I'm saying Jimmy: sort your head out, mate Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: no Janis: 'cos you want it, that's nice Jimmy: I'll fake a will to live for a bit Jimmy: come on Janis: you want mean Janis: 😶 Jimmy: I want whatever you want, my dear Jimmy: that's what I'm here for Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: it'd be a nightmare being with someone like that Janis: actually Jimmy: do you reckon any dickheads are actually going on like that? Janis: yeah Janis: plenty Janis: happy wife happy life shit Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: my sisters bloke is like that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 he'd be able to crack onto so many more Sharons with that bollocks Janis: he would NEVER Janis: do what you like, drown out the nagging Jimmy: never be able to keep it up but he's only gotta get them within ⛓ distance of the sink Janis: 😬 bear it Jimmy: we all will, owt to avoid having to do the washing up myself, OBVS Jimmy: too much of a #lad for it Janis: keep walking if you reckon I will Janis: not in the contract Jimmy: not a kink 🔓 and there's nowt about it in Bill's script, you're alright, Jillian Janis: 👌 Janis: in other news, dropped the last dog off Jimmy: didn't drop a ☕ in my rush to 🙏🙌 hearing that but a shitter 🤹 might've done Janis: you know how far it is to mine now, you're holding off on the excitement, like Jimmy: stamina like mine, bloody have to 👴💔 Janis: 😏 Janis: put my outfit n shit in a bag so we can go from yours later? Jimmy: loads later, after we've been alone for AGES, yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: ruining their party/life ain't gonna take all night Jimmy: few minutes if that Janis: you got plans for the rest of our time, right Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: you know I have Janis: I like having confirmation Janis: sue me Jimmy: you helping me apply ✨ is a good bit of it Janis: I don't know if I'm gonna want to go anywhere after that Jimmy: I'll carry you ✔ Jimmy: where the fuck does she live? Janis: safe to say too far for that Janis: ❌ Jimmy: [the most pouty selfie of all time] Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: stop Janis: we'll take loads of breaks on the way, yeah? Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: something like that Jimmy: as addictive as that Janis: I Janis: wish your dad's car was still here Janis: and I'm going to get ready Jimmy: If my manager weren't, I'd bring you it Janis: never there 'til you don't want him to be 💩😁 Jimmy: what comes of not being a paddy round here is that, no luck Janis: 💔 poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: least you like the accent, makes it a bit less 💔 Janis: it's on the list, no spoilers though, wait and 👀 what else is Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 again? Janis: [gonna have to stop this now, ugh, fuck you shit nan] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [later when she obvs has not replied] Jimmy: really dedicated to no spoilers, you Jimmy: did your phone 💀💀💀 or what? Jimmy: [a bit later again] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: if you're fake tanning without me, FUMING Jimmy: [and again] Jimmy: You alright? Jimmy: [even later] Jimmy: Where the fuck've you gone? Jimmy: I'll be done in a bit Jimmy: [and when he's done] Jimmy: answer me, dickhead or I'll 🚗 Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: [later still] Jimmy: What's going on? Jimmy: this is doing my head in now Jimmy: just Jimmy: [even later later] Jimmy: tell me you're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: please Jimmy: [later later later] Jimmy: or owt else Jimmy: 🗨  any bollocks Jimmy: [after whatever lies Grace has told because why not] Jimmy: She don't look enough like you to act as stand in Jimmy: as understudies go, I wouldn't bother next time if I were you Jimmy: don't know why I'm still bothering with this Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [So clearly, going to be gone for a few days but be back before school starts] Jimmy: [do you wanna do that they don't see each other/he doesn't know she's back until school though or do that before as well?] Janis: [we were going to do the kid's birthday party thing I think?] Jimmy: [yeah that should definitely be as soon as she's back for max awkwardness I'm just wondering how he's gonna know she is lol so I thought maybe they'd have to do a school day first or something idk] Janis: [oh yeah, we could do it like that, that works, it's usually 4-6th is so] Jimmy: [cos like I think we did before that he saw her 🐕🏃 but I doubt she'd be taking dogs over the park opposite his house casually so school feels like the only place they would run into each other cos likewise not gonna go order a latte so unless she's on route to mcvickers and they run into each other that way because it's right by his house? but I feel like she'd think of that and maybe avoid there too] Janis: [we'll go with it, awkward] Jimmy: [the other question is has he covered for her/keep up the fake dating vibes or has there been zero content because obvs relevant either way] Janis: [up to you, as she did not ask this time, and clearly she can't have been posting anything] Jimmy: [yeah I'm not sure how much he'd be able to do onesided lol like he could've had pics and stuff that they haven't posted before etc but like if there's nothing from her I don't know how they'd account for that unless it's like a I lost my phone/ it's broken cliche but if he doesn't post anything peeps are gonna be like ???!! so which he'd wanna avoid so I could see him covering without being asked] Janis: [do your best boy, got faith, clearly the first thing we do when we get back is post something of our own] Jimmy: [plus it makes it more awkward when they do see each other in person because they'd have to keep up the fakery because there has been no lull far as the fans are concerned] Janis: [and we haven't actually done school fakery yet so, I hope it's a day you have a lot of classes apart lol] Jimmy: [do we wanna say they interact first in a class they don't have because like you said posting on socials again and we can awkwardly talk here or throw them straight into being together asap and having to navigate that?] Janis: [I think she would say something, tbh, not just show up like that] Jimmy: [okay then, have fun working out what you're gonna say boo] Janis: Sorry, didn't take my phone Janis: do catch up now Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: Yeah, Grace told you right Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: told her to Jimmy: you can crack on giving her a 🏆 Jimmy: she'll be chuffed Janis: Bit far Janis: but 🧠 like hers, glad she remembered Jimmy: lies and fake bollocks comes natural to her, that'll be why Janis: don't think she went to the party, actually Jimmy: got that in common Janis: Yeah Janis: shame but sure it was still shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: she looks 😢 rn Janis: and she's usually buzzing for psychics so Janis: something happened Jimmy: or didn't Janis: she'd be keeping it DL if she got dumped or her next victim didn't show so yeah Janis: possible Jimmy: might just be daddy didn't bring the right 🎁 back Jimmy: don't get more 💔 than your soulmate not actually understanding you Janis: no postcard Janis: makes sense Jimmy: I've done my 😭 that you didn't bother Janis: no 📱 no 🖊 Jimmy: no 🩸 Jimmy: #starving🧛problems Janis: not looking 💀 I don't think Jimmy: don't matter, there's ages before I have to give you 😍 IRL Jimmy: can practice on sir til then Janis: thank GOD Jimmy: find him at your brother's house? makes sense, ALWAYS going on about loving the gays Janis: Adds up, right? Jimmy: more than this lesson plan Jimmy: but that's saying nowt, sir's clearly had a rough go of ��� Janis: ain't we all Janis: no need to 😭 Jimmy: weren't about to get the 🎻s out, you're alright Janis: talking about him, anyway Janis: you're fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's wrong? Jimmy: what are you going on about? Jimmy: I'm fine, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: you seem off Jimmy: not 😁 about school Jimmy: or still being here for it Janis: #therelatablemoodoftheday Jimmy: right Janis: Well I go home for lunch so don't worry about having to come find me then Janis: just english and detention, unavoidably so Jimmy: bit far, isn't it? Janis: I don't go home home, walk some dogs, if I have time, or go for a run Jimmy: just #bants mate Jimmy: even I've got that much of a grasp on where shit is Jimmy: and reading a clock Janis: a fair question, not a side-splitter Jimmy: weren't gonna have time to find you then any road, got my own home to go to and 🐕 to 🏃 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 in a bit then Janis: thought the lesson were shit Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 be a bit rude not to leave you to crack on with yours Janis: well considerate Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can pretend we're doing the same dog walk Janis: in that vein Jimmy: [sends her some pics of Twix on a walk because Bobby would take like 4 million] Janis: sorted Janis: very cute Jimmy: save it for the caption, Joan Janis: I can do better than that Janis: not half-arsing it Jimmy: remembered your phone today, for starters Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: I didn't forget it, I just left it Jimmy: weren't pulling your weight either way Janis: yeah, I know Janis: no one does anything in January Janis: easy to get back on track now Jimmy: we've not been off track 'cause I ain't been off the clock Janis: alright, thanks Janis: I didn't tell you to Janis: or tell Grace to tell you that Jimmy: you didn't tell me fuck all Jimmy: and I didn't do it for you Janis: well I gave you a perfect excuse to not to Jimmy: I didn't fancy DMs full of lasses offering to take your place from the new year's 💋 onwards Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 is right Janis: if I can't go out the city without them pouncing then clearly we're not doing enough Jimmy: can't control what they do Jimmy: more #goals we are, the more they wanna step into your role Janis: fucking hell, okay Mr Perfect Janis: then what? Jimmy: what did you think would happen? Jimmy: there's loads of fans that are just 👏👏🌹 an' all Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: what is the plan for if not that Janis: you'll not put off everyone but if it's not better then it's broken Jimmy: if you want out, piss off out Janis: I'm not the one complaining Jimmy: neither am I Jimmy: I'm catching you up with what I did and why Janis: Great Jimmy: can't win with you Jimmy: mardy when I say nowt and when I 🗨 Janis: You're the one in a mood Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you want me to be Jimmy: going on and on about it Janis: yeah, that makes sense Jimmy: never said it did Jimmy: should've told you to sort your head out Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm good Jimmy: that's more on brand for you, babe Jimmy: on you go Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: ha ha Jimmy: funny's more on brand for you an' all Jimmy: said it before Janis: what's your brand then? Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: yeah Janis: well you've not good a good grasp on mine so I'll decide, thanks Janis: got* Jimmy: got loads of time to do the ❌ while sir 🗨 and 😭 Janis: you don't need a list Jimmy: don't have one, so you reckon Janis: You've got the wrong ✔ Jimmy: got no ✔ about your branding Janis: don't matter Janis: only the fake Jimmy: if it don't matter why bother telling me I'm wrong? Janis: so you stop telling me what I am Jimmy: I get it, that bit matters Janis: if I've got to hear you chatting shit, yeah Jimmy: you only wanna have your go at it, I get that an' all Jimmy: 🚫👂 Janis: what have I said Jimmy: nowt but bollocks, that's the point Janis: You made it clear you don't wanna talk Jimmy: you started it Janis: I couldn't take my phone Jimmy: you could've made a tin can 📞 by now, you've had days Janis: I was a bit busy Jimmy: you know what I mean Jimmy: if you wanted to talk to me, you would've Janis: that's actually not true Jimmy: what your brother's not got a 📞 or 💻 Jimmy: it's just bollocks Jimmy: takes a minute to tell me you're alright yourself Janis: I didn't have a minute Janis: I clearly weren't at my brothers Janis: I told you that so you could put that out there if you didn't want to do the whole show yourself Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's what I'm bothered about Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I did my best not to leave you in the lurch Jimmy: I don't fucking care what the fake story is Janis: I'm sorry alright Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's not about how 💔🎻😭 it were or weren't for me Janis: what then Janis: go on Jimmy: you, dickhead Janis: what do you mean, me? Jimmy: if you need the list, you couldn't take your phone, didn't have a minute to grab one, weren't at your brothers, all shit you've said just now Jimmy: and before at the park you said you've stayed there Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Janis: Shit happened Janis: it's not my mum Jimmy: you don't have to tell me, but there's no need to chat bollocks Janis: Don't change that I went either way Janis: I don't think you're thick Jimmy: just leave it out acting like you went on holiday Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I heard you up there Janis: I don't know what to say else Jimmy: I'll let you 🤐 Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I still want to talk to you Jimmy: @ me you're got loads of that to do Janis: 👍 Janis: If you like Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: not me who's got writers block Janis: you've told me what you don't wanna hear, not what you do Jimmy: since when do I need to? Janis: That's fairly obvious Jimmy: never been my job to feed you lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 for a bit of that if you need a hand Janis: don't have no problem with the fake story Janis: [do some socials, to that point] Jimmy: [just doing a socials sesh because it's simpler to be fake than handle how we really feel] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: tah Janis: means a lot Jimmy: not patting you on the back for doing your bit Janis: I can see the evidence right there Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: more like it Jimmy: piss off and do your physics 🤓 Janis: it's all 🏃 and 💥 Janis: nothing nerdy about that Janis: what are you doing? Jimmy: drying sir's eyes Jimmy: sure it means loads to him an' all Janis: I meant subject but pop off Janis: Lucas is going to be so upset Janis: CONSTANT job Jimmy: that'll be why I'm getting my practice is, gonna be so 😱😱😁 to FINALLY see him again, muscle memory'll have to do Jimmy: *in Janis: you'll do great Janis: 👸 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: Lucky him Jimmy: DUH he deserves nowt but the best Jimmy: I'm the lucky one to have all this detention ⏲ Jimmy: ⭐🏆 Janis: you can ask for alone time then Janis: see if he goes for it Jimmy: doubt that Janis: Yay Jimmy: gonna have to work harder than that at saying it like you mean it Janis: I don't Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: I've not thought about him all holiday Janis: almost forgot Jimmy: should've added more 💔💔💔 Jimmy: SO cruel, you Jimmy: he'll have 💭 of nowt else Janis: how he likes it Janis: no pain no gain Jimmy: all part of your plan, I get it, Judith Janis: don't always miss Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, I remember 🏀 Janis: it helps, I guess Jimmy: 🥅⚽️ Janis: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: I don't want a compliment Janis: I'm trying to Janis: never mind Jimmy: it's not much of one with nowt to back it up still, I get that an' all Janis: sure you'll still be here when the season starts Jimmy: bit rude Janis: realistic Jimmy: 👌 Janis: it's like next week, calm down Jimmy: not sitting here fuming about owt you 💭 Janis: alright Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your reassurances that we'll still be here, he'd be chuffed to hear 'em Janis: not my fault Jimmy: it ain't mine that you can't take a compliment Janis: you're not trying to compliment me, I'm not thick Jimmy: don't need to try for a start Jimmy: you're the one who's got catching up to do Janis: and I'm doing it Janis: what looks more suspicious than love bombing you the entire day Jimmy: nowt suspicious about that to our audience but alright Janis: fuck's sake Janis: [more socials] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: piss off Jimmy: you Janis: happily Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yep Jimmy: [sends her whatever drawings he did for the days she was gone because he said he'd do one every day bye] Janis: I get it Janis: yeah Jimmy: that you're so hard done by having to do owt that I thought I'd give you a hand with bollocks you can post, yeah Janis: no, that you've held that shit down, and I am grateful Janis: but as you said you don't care, and I had more pressing shit to deal with, I'm not going to say thank you forever Jimmy: I don't want you to say tah, not that dickhead Janis: just to hold it over me, you're THAT dickhead Janis: ? Jimmy: OBVS if that's how it's coming across that's how it is Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'd rather you just came out and said what you want to say Janis: or didn't say anything if you've got nothing, whatever Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: you weren't having it when I had nowt to say Janis: because I stupidly thought you might have Janis: if that's actually the case then sorted Janis: no worries Jimmy: same page then, us Jimmy: 'cause what have you said? Janis: Sorry, multiple times, thanks as well Janis: and I've been trying to talk and you keep shutting me down with bullshit Jimmy: yeah alright, it's my fault that I don't wanna hear that bollocks Janis: how the fuck would you know what I'm going to say, you haven't let me say it Jimmy: it were you who said you've got nowt else but sorry Janis: believe whatever you like Jimmy: it's a copout for dickheads who don't wanna really 🗨 Janis: no it ain't Janis: if I owe someone an apology, I say it Jimmy: you might as well say piss off or leave it out, that's what it means, I wanna crack the fuck on as if this didn't happen Janis: I know I should've given you more warning Janis: and I wanted to, but I didn't Janis: so I'm not going to keep telling you all the things I wanted to do or should've Janis: what's the point Jimmy: the point is that you don't need to keep chucking me a word that's just shut up and take my excuses Jimmy: 'cause they aren't, you did what you had to Jimmy: more fake bollocks is only that, fuck all use to me or you Janis: I'm not being fake Janis: I only lied when I weren't here to make being honest worth something Jimmy: it were worth something before Janis: now it ain't Jimmy: that a ? or ! Janis: closer to a ? but you've already answered it Jimmy: the only question worth bothering with is if you're alright and you've still not answered that Janis: I'm here ain't I Jimmy: not what I asked though Jimmy: I'm here an' all, don't mean I'm 😁 about it Janis: that's the point Janis: how can I look like anything but a spoilt brat when you want to go just as bad but you can't Jimmy: Do you need somewhere to stay or what? Jimmy: while I'm stuck here you can Janis: no I can't Jimmy: you heard me just say you can Jimmy: not a bloody me vs you for who's more 🎻🎻 Janis: I've had worse new years Janis: if you can believe that Jimmy: me an' all 💔 as missing that party were Janis: yeah Janis: Grace didn't go either Janis: 💀👑💬 Jimmy: just come over if you need to, fuck's sake Janis: how's that gonna work then Janis: on any level Jimmy: you pick if you want the sofa, a bed or the trampoline and then you go 😴 on it Janis: alright, I've got a vague idea how sleeping works Janis: 1. your dad exists 2. so do your siblings 3. and you, soz to put you last as per Jimmy: 1. but he don't matter 2. they've been waiting for you to wheel your suitcases in since they heard about you existing  3. why would I offer if I were bothered about having you about Jimmy: had worse people under the same roof Jimmy: @ every Sharon Janis: 'cos that's the low bar I wanna step over Jimmy: I'll compare you to my ex if you'd rather Jimmy: what could be more #goals Janis: why else would the kids be expecting it Janis: good for that too Jimmy: 👍 Janis: anyway, you do realize we'd have to fake it like 24/7 Janis: I'll figure something out Jimmy: who for? Janis: 👦 Jimmy: he's not gonna @ anyone Jimmy: 🐕 might Janis: yeah he will Janis: on the tin can to say the wedding is SO off Jimmy: I'll let you in when he's 😴 if you're that 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: I'm not scared Jimmy: you know where I live, Jasmine, make up your own mind Janis: can I say thanks or will you get fuming again Jimmy: piss off Janis: thought so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I reckon my grandparents might let me stay Janis: I haven't spoke to them yet so we'll see, yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: give me a bell on the tin can 📞 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: or get Gracie to tell me, if that's your new favourite method Janis: 😒 Janis: come on Janis: needs must Janis: didn't have your number Jimmy: won't spread it about that you didn't memorise it soon as I gave it you Jimmy: be a right mixed message for the fans after all your tweets and that a bit ago Janis: I'll tattoo it on a digit I can stand to lose if you want Janis: made the emergency contact list a while back Jimmy: what's the plan, dramatically 🔪 the little one off next time you break a 🤞? Jimmy: very 🎭 Janis: alright Bill, put him back on Janis: I went off script, so shoot me Janis: make you feel better Jimmy: do what I can to rein him in but it looks like he's missed you Jimmy: or the back and forth at any rate Jimmy: just me and him's a bit Janis: glad someone has Jimmy: offered you a 🐕 and 👶's full attention but you didn't fancy it Janis: not what I said Janis: aren't meant to take someone up on their offer when it's too much Jimmy: weren't offering to chuck everyone else out and give you the 🏠 Jimmy: calm yourself down Janis: thank god Janis: makes it all alright Jimmy: you're making it weird Janis: how am I Jimmy: it's just somewhere to go Jimmy: nowt else Janis: yeah, I know Janis: I'm not saying it means anything more than it does Jimmy: it's too much were what you said Janis: like, you don't know what you're offering, not too much like I don't think it's 👍 that you did offer Jimmy: what about not thinking I were thick a bit ago? Janis: I don't Jimmy: then how do I not know what I'm going on about Janis: Okay Janis: if I need a place to crash, I'll make sure I 💬 you first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What are we going to do about Lucas though Janis: that's what's really important Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's tricky, don't want to extend the time spent Janis: but we need to make it as 😈🔥 for him Jimmy: we can hack 💀👑's 🎄 don't get more 😈🔥 than that Janis: ugh, should've got him a present Jimmy: still time Janis: you got art today? Janis: make him a bowl for his keys Jimmy: 💔 I don't do woodwork, could've knocked him up a tie rack Janis: missed a trick Janis: I've got bio Janis: could...bring him a dissected frog? Jimmy: could ALWAYS make him a ☕ Janis: you wanna be his favourite, I get it Jimmy: easiest way to get the ☠ in Jimmy: wanna be Bill's fav forever Janis: you are stuck with him for that long Janis: and 👔🏫 breath is already that bad so go for it Jimmy: what if he comes back as a 👻 an' all? Janis: he is bitter and can't let go of the ex Janis: tracks Janis: let me drain him Jimmy: I can't, he'll taste so bad Jimmy: not that fuming at you Janis: good to know Janis: I'm trying to remember what gets him 😤 😠 😡 🤬 on the scale Janis: beyond seeing me RUINED Jimmy: 🗨 Janis: yeah Janis: 🔊 and 📱 Jimmy: I'll do you some paper planes to go with your boat Janis: 🥇🤡 things Janis: that will piss him off, especially with your aim Jimmy: should practice my 🤹 you're right Jimmy: but there's nowt wrong with my aim, happens to every 👴 when they have a piss, that, shut up Janis: makes me want to move in right away Janis: 😏 Jimmy: job done Janis: your poor sister Janis: it's probably the only plus to having majority sisters Jimmy: don't @ her Jimmy: she ain't a fan of  🎻 Janis: bit weird Janis: if anyone is in her DMs chatting about piss she needs to 🚨 Jimmy: *🥊 Janis: that too Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: goes off the fuming scale an' all Janis: yeah, I know Janis: wasn't taking the piss Jimmy: funny Janis: ugh Janis: shut up Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: still waiting for my 🏆 you keep saying it Janis: if you can piss into it I'll be impressed Jimmy: easy Janis: then I'll find you one Janis: don't do metalwork 💔 Jimmy: no point making you promise if you won't cut your finger off so 💔 right back Janis: when did I say I wouldn't? Jimmy: ages ago Janis: I was the one who suggested it Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: I told you I've got the needle, you bring the ink Jimmy: give us something to do that ain't writing whatever lines Lucas wants to read back when we've pissed off Janis: I dread to think how close to the bone he's gonna go Janis: I MUST NOT BE A MASSIVE SLAG Jimmy: closer than me with that needle Jimmy: don't tell Bill but I might rip off that film and write Lucas a 💌 Janis: 👸 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: that's you Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: fuck off is it me Janis: 🏃 is me and I don't even want to be Jimmy: I forgot about him Jimmy: you can have that Janis: yeah, exactly, dickhead Janis: he's boring and he's got daddy issues Jimmy: I'll be the mute lass who you only 😍 when she takes her eyeliner off Janis: fits Janis: what you'd look like if you were a girl/one of your coworkers Jimmy: piss off Janis: tell me I'm wrong, 'cos you'd be wrong Jimmy: I'm saying nowt to you, dickhead Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more 😍 than the gobby ginger, suppose Jimmy: If I leave it out with the dandruff desk 🌨 for my 🎨 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: stop at the sugar sandwich Janis: That's alright Janis: know you're a fat bitch Jimmy: might start a fake pregnancy rumour but I'll make sure they know it's my 🥧🥔🍺👶 sharpish Janis: so not only am I lesbian, also got a dick Janis: 👌💡 Jimmy: Oi, never said it were yours, sir can step up and be a man after he's sacked Janis: well that's just rude Janis: stop pushing me out the picture dickhead Jimmy: you left, Jules Jimmy: we were all 💔🎻😭 Janis: I'm literally right here Jimmy: where's 💀👑? Jimmy: #scaleupdates Janis: 😣 hurting her head trying to work out why my sister didn't show Janis: 🤯 when she invents the story to tell the rest of the gals Jimmy: alright, and where's the physics classroom? Jimmy: I've got today's 🎨 for you, didn't bother to draw it on my desk so you might as well have it Janis: [classroom #] Janis: would've been gas if you picked up and stole the desk but she'll still be 😭 😤 Jimmy: hang on, I'll re-do it Janis: you can still give me the paper one Janis: as well Jimmy: for when some dickhead draws all over your face Janis: I don't know about that Janis: I just want it Jimmy: okay Janis: though I do look forward to seeing the charming contributions from the fans and the haters alike, obvs Jimmy: 😈 Janis: so many 🍆s Jimmy: [my idea is he's drawn her sleeping and adorable curled up on the sofa with Twix or something because of that bit of the convo so however long it would take him to redraw that on a desk and then he's bringing it for a casual desk swap lol hey everyone] Janis: [everyone SHOOKETH, the teacher like hello??? we'd wanna kiss him so bad but settle for a hug hun] Jimmy: [likewise his teacher and classmates ?? where you going boy] Janis: [the casual drama y'all have caused, love to see it] Jimmy: [that hug would be everything though] Janis: ['til you get separated for stealing tables and defacing them lollollol but seriously SO intense] Jimmy: [should we put him isolation for a bit to mean they literally can't see each other until detention and ramp up the tension?] Janis: [definitely] Jimmy: [we'll have other chances to do awks shared lessons I'm sure] Janis: [naturally, this makes better drama] Jimmy: [soz not soz to Mr Lucas for that vibe in detention] Janis: [you'll probably love it perv lmao] Janis: you got a spare 🔑? Janis: I'll let your dog out at lunch time Jimmy: [different locations where he's hidden them so Cass can't find and deliberately lose them all how she do] Jimmy: Tah Janis: fair's fair Janis: I'll 📸 so it's #goals Jimmy: 💀👑's story can't, she don't have enough fans Jimmy: hatewatch'll only get you so far Janis: [OBVIOUSLY publicly answering the DMs of what happened because we know the fans would and like OMG LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT 'cos probably getting so over-dramaticized as it do] Janis: I've got it Janis: [publicly name and shame Ella with an anon she clearly wrote like 👀 you] Jimmy: I forgot #2 were about Janis: didn't we all Janis: she survived xmas 😱 maybe they got her to eat a sprout Jimmy: 🤞 it were a 🥄 of horseradish Janis: if her oesophagus wasn't burning before Janis: #festivebants Jimmy: cracker pull heart attack or nowt, tah hun Janis: 👴💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: speaking of, this school got a nurse or just the therapist? Janis: think the receptionist knows first aid and that's your lot Janis: why? Jimmy: probably not 💡🥇 to chuck desks about Jimmy: but I'll live Janis: soz to hear that Janis: you can't really tell 'em, it'd be less of a decent excuse to go home and more of a let's talk about home 🙄 Janis: hang on Jimmy: @ Helena Jimmy: fact she ain't in here for dealing is a pisstake Janis: but actually though Janis: we've got PE next Janis: I'll get you some Jimmy: not just gonna let you in here, we're too starcrossed Janis: I can scuff a blister or two under the door as I walk past Janis: I'll just tell you when I'm gonna so you can walk to the bin or whatever the fuck Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: you be alright 'til then? Janis: she's too thick for physics and be a bit obvious if I run in and snatch her bag so Jimmy: lesson's near over Jimmy: dunno what took me longer, your hair or the 🐕's Janis: so nice, you Jimmy: yeah, I know Jimmy: loads of lads would've found a lass with shorter hair to be their muse Jimmy: or left it unfinished Janis: you're SO brave Janis: and I've got no scissors to hand so Janis: have to stay for now Jimmy: meant to be me being psychologically fucked by the isolation, girl Jimmy: no need to do yourself a wonky fringe Janis: 😂 Janis: as if Jimmy: stick with your Q&A Janis: you sent a question in? Janis: stay tuned Jimmy: 'course I have Janis: how 😍😍😍 have you been? Jimmy: you tell me Janis: [go answer that for the #fans] Jimmy: [obvs send her another one cos that bitch] Janis: [flirtbackandforthletsnotlie] Jimmy: [we've got a LOT of feelings but also walls up now honey, gotta keep it 'safe' and 'fake' lol lol] Janis: [ah the joys] Jimmy: these 💊s gonna make me 😴 or what? Janis: if you're lucky Janis: they shouldn't knock you out proper though Jimmy: that were your luck, Jenna Janis: know yours ain't as good Jimmy: 🌧🌧🎻 Janis: still get your head down Janis: only thing isolation's good for Jimmy: you done 🗨 to me then? Janis: nah Janis: not got your 💊s yet have you Jimmy: I meant when I have Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want me to stop talking to you? Jimmy: that's what I just asked you Janis: not really Jimmy: so what are you telling me to 😴 for? Janis: because you're in pain Janis: and must be even more bored than I am Jimmy: got no dickheads doing my head in, I'm #thriving Janis: true Janis: PE is going to be a joy Jimmy: I get that it goes against how 💪🏆🥇 you are but Jimmy: just don't go Janis: where will I go instead Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: take you one sec to 🏃 there from here Janis: bit rude to you Janis: I go and have an actual 😴 Jimmy: the 🐕'll never let you Janis: but it might be 🏑 Janis: go for the shins Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna recreate my 🎨 Jimmy: pressure, that Janis: don't wanna be a bad imitation, of course Jimmy: if you're not up to the challenge Janis: 'course I am Janis: cheek Jimmy: prove it Janis: fine Janis: got to get your stash first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [do that and get going 'cos you know he wants to talk to you and so you obvs wanna talk to him too so we is] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: only need 1 at a time, remember Janis: or you will 😴 Jimmy: alright Janis: trust, they're good Jimmy: I remember you rated them when you stopped denying they were needed Janis: weren't gonna leave poor Helena is pain for the craic purely Jimmy: oh soz, didn't realise you rated her an' all Jimmy: chuffed for you that you've got a new best mate Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off Janis: just don't want her to @ me with her back surgery bill Jimmy: she a 🧠 📖 an' all? Jimmy: SO much in common you two lasses Janis: fake date her then Janis: never catch her walking your dog Jimmy: with her back? do mine in trying to get her to do owt Janis: exactly, stop trying to palm me off onto her, she's shit Janis: and fakes injuries, which is #gal behaviour Jimmy: Bit late for Ella to crack onto her for #inspo Janis: probably say she's got back problems 'cos she's a fatty Janis: can't see it being 💕 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: alright, cupid Janis: bit early for that holiday Jimmy: can't help being a romantic Jimmy: written in the script Janis: some would call it hopeless Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: @ Bill with your criticisms, sweetheart Janis: not a criticism Janis: just observation, babe Jimmy: meant to be 😴🐕💕 you Janis: let me get in the door and walk the fucker Janis: why you want me to go sleep so bad? Jimmy: just open the door for it, don't matter Janis: It's alright Janis: literally my job Jimmy: 🐕 won't pay you Janis: freebie Janis: she'll tell her mates Jimmy: what mates are them? even our kid's toy one reckons she's a twat Janis: 😱 Janis: you bastard Jimmy: a lass who don't know her place, under this roof, she's got nowt but enemies, OBVS Janis: why you want me to come over Janis: one on side Jimmy: that'll be it Janis: 🐶📱 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's sweet really, just needs putting in her place Janis: sorry to out your lack of skills @iantaylor8 but multiple Sharons for a reason babe Jimmy: not something I'll get a 🏆 either Jimmy: you'll have to do it Janis: it's not hard, the basics like Janis: and you won't have to be all 😡 🤬 to keep it up either Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: @iantaylor8 Janis: if the impression was anything to go by Jimmy: it were 🥇 Jimmy: but if you're gonna do owt that'll make his life easier Jimmy: you know how the rest of the sentence goes Janis: I dunno if I'm so 🥇 I can get her to be 😇 for you lot and shit in his shoes still Janis: but I'll give it a go Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: just 'cos she's 😱 of him, don't necessarily mean she respects him most Jimmy: Bringing back all those memories of the good old days with my mum for him Jimmy: be a bit awkward when she pisses off an' all Jimmy: brb mate just going down the park Janis: all women are the same Janis: definitely don't look inward Janis: my dad and all his bitches and even more brats Janis: entrapment, every time Jimmy: not having a game of mousetrap, you prick, not that he's about for #familygamenight to get that top bants Janis: but he really TRIED to be there, apparently Janis: if he's that shit at it he's gotta have that many go's, not worth fuck all really Jimmy: won't 🤞 on meeting his 👻 Jimmy: have to give a shit for there to be unfinished business Janis: why bother when you can get a woman to do that for you and all Jimmy: if only I'd met Pete sooner to palm all ☕🎨 off onto Janis: If only we'd ALL met Pete sooner Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Janis: I won't distract him from doing all your work 🤞 Jimmy: he's mine, back the fuck off Janis: that's how it is Janis: some mate Janis: and he's currently miss things so race is on Jimmy: the kind of mate who stops you 1. making a twat of yourself 2. getting a slaggy rep Jimmy: you're welcome, babes Janis: so you get to be the slag of the group? Janis: convenient Janis: jokes on you 'cos we all are some of us are just less obvious about it, SWEETIE Jimmy: DUH you were the massive virgin Lucas were grooming Jimmy: keep up with your own #narrative, hun Janis: fuck off Jimmy: as fake nice goes, not your best Janis: yeah well Janis: you ever actually heard them? Janis: pretty shit too Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: neither can they much longer Janis: can't wait 'til the big one snaps Jimmy: who's your 💰 on? Jimmy: Tammy's all 😭  tiktok mimes, be there til the bitter end Janis: be nice if #2 rose up and took her place as 👑 Janis: Bill would be thrilled Janis: probably Asia though, by accident Jimmy: 🗨 in the wrong chat one too many times Janis: exactly Janis: her next boyfriend is an actual undercover cop Janis: 🚨 Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: Oh Bill Janis: he don't know it's a bit 😬 to get a 15 year old with a 45 year old now, let him off Jimmy: WHAT?! IT IS! OMG Janis: you know your 💕 for Lucas is forbidden, babes Janis: that's what makes it 😍 DUH Jimmy: but not OURS! everyone's obvs gonna get #overit after a bit of murder Jimmy: 👴💔 Jimmy: fuming there's no happy ending coming WTF Jimmy: ???!! Janis: #awks Jimmy: least this 💊 is good Janis: 😁 Jimmy: I should be fake dating Helena, you're right Janis: now you know Jimmy: soz but 👋 Janis: at least make it convincing Jimmy: steady on, need my 🐕 walked first Janis: you can pay for it next time Jimmy: still mates rates though? Janis: is it? Jimmy: that's my question Jimmy: you gonna be too 💔😭🎻 about me and her or what? Janis: Helena, with her back problems? Janis: I think you 2 are made for each other 👴👵 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: SO happy for you Jimmy: Tah, Jolene Janis: 👍 Janis: enjoy your meds Jimmy: loving being able to breathe, like Jimmy: and thank god, 'cause who knows if she'll fancy a 💀💀💀 pact Janis: always a bonus, like Janis: you can convince her Jimmy: dunno about that Jimmy: only as inspiring as my muse, me Janis: a girl with a death wish is so hard to come by Jimmy: have to have the 💊💊💊 as my muse instead of her Janis: bit played out but what ain't Jimmy: yeah Janis: I'm glad they've helped Jimmy: how long'll it be for? Jimmy: easy 🎯for Lucas like this Janis: they've got better staying power than your average paracetamol Janis: but take the other one tonight and you should sleep well too Janis: I reckon GP might give you like a weeks worth, if you asked Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 if you've knackered it Janis: she's a 👶 Janis: more stamina Jimmy: how old do you reckon it is? Janis: you don't know? Janis: still under a year, definitely Jimmy: how would I? Janis: whoever your dad got her off should've told him, at least Janis: people lie sometimes though, you're not meant to take them before they're 8 weeks, at least Jimmy: might've, don't mean he's told me Janis: if he comes back for lunch I'll ask Janis: providing he doesn't 💀 me Jimmy: can't promise the 🐕'd save you Jimmy: but I would Janis: for yourself Jimmy: he don't get to 💀💀💀 you, no other dickhead does Janis: no one else Janis: that's the 🤝 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: better tell Helena Jimmy: not @'d her owt yet, it's alright Janis: let me finish my Q&A first Janis: look a bit stupid otherwise Jimmy: [obviously gonna send her more because we're in our feelings] Janis: [run to the 'fake' hens] Jimmy: [do we wanna bring up the kids party before the detention TENSION or after?] Janis: [ooh, hmm...I think after?] Jimmy: [break the inevitable awkward silence after how intense that'll be, makes sense] Janis: [and you'll have more of a reason to do it, like we KNOW you would anyway but it is flimsy at best so we'll give you that] Jimmy: [it's just tricky rn cos I want you to talk til then but don't wanna break the awks lol, oh lads] Janis: [it'll still be awks 'cos you've only seen each other so briefly actually IRL] Jimmy: [it's okay boy you can still have your guard up even if you accidentally get too feelsy] Janis: [we know the vibes] Jimmy: [not like it's never been a headfuck before or you've never gone back on anything so] Janis: [or won't have to again] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do you wanna chat more or skip a bit?] Jimmy: [I don't mind if we carry on cos we've slayed it so far] Jimmy: Get Ian to make you a 🥪☕ if he's knocking about Janis: He ain't so far Janis: but I know where the kettle is Jimmy: 🐕'll have just the one sugar Janis: she don't need no more Janis: even after this epic game of fetch Jimmy: if your 💪 hurts I've still got this 💊 you can have Janis: ha ha Janis: save your breath and meds boy Janis: I'm good Jimmy: I get it, you don't want me to @ Helena for no more Janis: maybe I don't wanna go through her bag again Jimmy: long as I don't bring you any more desks, won't you need to Janis: 💔 Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: could've had a career in removals Jimmy: you could be a careers adviser Janis: wow, my dream Janis: thanks so much!!! Jimmy: get to hang about the staff room, know you'll love that Jimmy: 👔🏫💕 Janis: the happy ending we're all 💭 of Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: one of us'll get one Janis: you'll be well happy with your new missus Janis: 🥴 from all the 💊 Jimmy: not planning to use 'em for 💔 Jimmy: or get in that many 🥊 Janis: yeah Janis: but Helenas pretty annoying Janis: you'll need 'em Jimmy: never spoken to her before, no need to start now Jimmy: 💪🔇 type, me Janis: she doesn't know any sign Jimmy: good Janis: bit rude to teach me some and then ❌ me Jimmy: lessons don't have to finish an' all Janis: I will have to talk to Bobby Janis: after the wedding of the century, like Jimmy: and you said your cousin might need teaching Janis: that too, actually Janis: if nothing else she can call her mother a shithead Jimmy: don't need either of us for that, Libi'll sort it Jimmy: I'll still knock you some lessons now though, got nowt else on Janis: talk me out of all my roles, it's fine Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: how old's she? Janis: erm, gonna be 4 soon, I think Janis: she's never spoke Jimmy: I'll start with the proper basics, asking for owt she wants Janis: yeah, anything would be helpful Janis: got to be frustrating as hell Janis: thanks, by the way Jimmy: [sends her videos of him signing and pictures he's drawn of the hand gestures etc all that good stuff] Janis: they let you do that instead of Irish, yeah? Jimmy: if it were that easy it'd be a pisstake Janis: obviously, I mean that's cool though Janis: more useful than Irish, any rate Jimmy: you should ask if you can swap Jimmy: love's young dream Janis: yeah right Janis: they'd love that Jimmy: I get it, you're worried you'd look a twat not keeping up, but I won't let that happen Jimmy: not the kind of mate I am Janis: just don't reckon any teacher has got the goal of us spending more time together Jimmy: don't have a teacher, it's all online bollocks Jimmy: no other dickhead's got the same set of excuses as me Jimmy: or the new boy ✨ obvs Janis: the handicap of being English, yeah Janis: I hate Irish, so I could ask Janis: dunno if they'd go for it Janis: but 🤷 Jimmy: what were it you said about the shots you don't take? Janis: 🖕 Janis: deserved maybe but 🤐 Janis: you don't just wanna get out of teaching me yourself, by any chance? Jimmy: I like teaching you Jimmy: don't mean I'm any good at it Jimmy: got no coffee breath or shit ties Janis: it is essential to be 🥇 Janis: but you aren't bad at it Jimmy: do have enough sob stories to go on about, all sir were bothering with, we might be alright Janis: you're good Janis: showing Libi too Jimmy: What do you wanna 🗨? Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: Put me on the spot Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: but go on Janis: I could ask you to sign anything right now Janis: only got the 🐕 for company, here Jimmy: in isolation here, challenge accepted Janis: who they got 'keeping an eye' on you? Jimmy: Ms Burke Janis: they would Janis: slip her a pill if she manages to notice fuck all then 👍 Jimmy: she's already sedated herself, you can crack on with your request Janis: alright 🤔 Janis: how many go's do I get? Jimmy: how much do you wanna say? Janis: how do you say 'loads' Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [send it back like ta-da] Janis: what about 'fuck all'? Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [do that, swear words are always funny lol] Jimmy: [and always the first thing you have to find out yourself cos teachers don't want you to know] Janis: how would I say Janis: 'Janis is the best at everything' Jimmy: [signs it calling her a bighead instead but cos he's saying it at the same time she obvs knows even if he hasn't taught her before which he might have] Janis: oi Janis: bloody rude Janis: how am I meant to trust your teaching skills? Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: [do it properly though boy] Jimmy: I've just fingerspelt your name, Jules Jimmy: your sign name depends if you're talking to our kid or me Janis: might be handy to know my real name Janis: so I don't look like a total muppet Jimmy: [draws out the alphabet and sends it like see if you can do it] Janis: [give it a go, gal, do his as well] Jimmy: [show her how to do whatever adorable sign name Bobby has for you jimothy because you're his fave person ever and he would've thought of it as a bub] Janis: bless Janis: far as nicknames go Jimmy: [show her Ian's because it'd be so lowkey shady, casual bub sass] Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll deffo use that Jimmy: [show her yours for him which is obvs even shadier like that's the one I use] Janis: he must LOVE that Jimmy: about as much as when I call every Sharon mum Jimmy: would call him worse if I weren't mostly signing to a 6 year old Janis: Not your fault you're confused, tbh Janis: you can get out the really obscene shit now if you like, I won't clock half of it anyway Jimmy: [does obvs but without saying it too so she and Ms Burke can't clock it] Jimmy: probably meant to use the names our kid does any road as he's the deaf one but Jimmy: so creative, me Janis: got to make sure he keeps practising, yeah Janis: not the kid, obvs Janis: also some of that looked like you was having some kind of seizure, how gone is miss rn Jimmy: she'll be 😴 before either of us Janis: 🙄 and we actually need it Jimmy: you @ your nan yet or what? Jimmy: done some lessons for Libi an' all Jimmy: [send that through too] Janis: nah Janis: it's gonna be a whole conversation and I'm meant to be 😴 Janis: but I will show Libi those, and NOT the ones before, note to self Janis: needs no help with her filthy language Jimmy: 🎅 is still #SHOOK Janis: too #SHOOK to add her to the naughty list Jimmy: 😏 Janis: show me how to say some goals shit then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [do that back] Janis: what about 'I missed you' Jimmy: you did mean #goals, yeah? not Jimmy: I dunno 🤓 flirting Janis: you don't know when I'll need to flirt with a deaf nerd Janis: go on Jimmy: [show her] Janis: [do that with purpose hen] Jimmy: [we're all just in our feels trying not to die rn] Janis: show me something you wanna teach me Jimmy: [show her how to say please because there are so many saucy but also feelsy uses and connotations for that] Janis: [do it loads of times, like could be #bants could not be] Jimmy: you're good at that one Janis: 😇 Janis: manners are well important Jimmy: what about Jimmy: [do 'stay' because of course we are] Janis: [do it and combine the two 'cos duh] Jimmy: There you go, that deaf nerd ain't going nowhere til you're done with him Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: have to 🔎 one first but hey Janis: prepared now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bet that's something you could do, too Janis: teach that 💰 Jimmy: how many jobs do you reckon I've got time for, girl? Janis: I know Janis: I want to be able to move out as soon as I can though Janis: don't you? Jimmy: soon as I can ain't as soon as you Janis: right Janis: he's 6 Janis: rough Jimmy: it don't matter what I want Jimmy: or how 🎻🎻🎻 it is Janis: you reckon he'd ever let you have him, even a bit earlier Janis: after uni, or whatever Jimmy: only if it suited him Janis: yeah Janis: that's what you want? if you've got any say, hypothetically Jimmy: both of them away from that twat Janis: it gets your sentence down to 6 years Janis: instead of 12 Janis: still more than the 3 I'm 🤞 for but Janis: who knows where you'll be, might be somewhere less shite Jimmy: ⚰ Janis: no good to either of 'em then Jimmy: not meant to be my job though Janis: I know Janis: don't matter though does it Janis: like you said Jimmy: only to the orchestra Janis: he's not gonna be the 'kick you out at 18' type is he Janis: not whilst you're useful to him? Jimmy: answered that yourself, Jasmine Janis: stop him getting a permanent Sharon Janis: that's your main job then Jimmy: stops himself Janis: true Janis: loads of desperate bitches Janis: 🐶💕 Jimmy: he'll kick me out if my sister ever stops being as fuming as him Jimmy: makes for a shit babysitter Janis: yeah Janis: get that Janis: probably alright on that score Janis: if it ain't genetic, it's well ingrained Jimmy: tah for not saying hormonal like I thought you were gonna Janis: if I was alright with throwing that about, may as well join shit nan's church group and call it a day Jimmy: 💔 for the hot priest you won't Janis: she might see if he's alright to do an exorcism Jimmy: far as date nights go Jimmy: I'm chuffed with that Janis: don't remember inviting you to shout bible verses at me Janis: chuck some holy water about Jimmy: but I wouldn't miss it Jimmy: have to grab my long lens if nowt else Janis: 😏 Janis: keep you posted on if I'm saving my soul or nah Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: my 📷s are in my room if you fancy a go Janis: fun Janis: and you're sure you've left nothing incriminating out, yeah Jimmy: sure I'm not bothered Janis: and I'm not a snoop Janis: ask my customer's owners Jimmy: chuck us their @s Janis: um Janis: soz, line went dead there Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: con- what- hello??? Jimmy: alright, dickhead 🏆 Janis: thank you Janis: 🙇 Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: never said I were that impressed Janis: disgusting Janis: get you in for the next exorcisms at this rate Jimmy: his and hers Janis: so #goals Janis: though she'll hear nothing of it Janis: you're a LAD and can do whatever you like Jimmy: *good 🙏 lad now Janis: so you say Jimmy: depending who's ? Janis: me, dickhead Janis: who else Jimmy: you know the answer, dickhead Janis: sign it if you're embarrassed Jimmy: piss off, nowt does Jimmy: you know that an' all Janis: 🤘 that Janis: ain't it Jimmy: what? Janis: 😈=🤘 Jimmy: right Janis: could be calling you 🐮 suppose but context Jimmy: 🐐🔪 bit of a step down for us Janis: so immature Janis: 👶🩸 or bust Jimmy: sounds like you're asking me on another date, that Janis: and? Jimmy: and alright, I'll find and kill a 👶 with you, obvs Janis: 😍 Janis: you always know just what to say Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: [does the thing about her being the best again] Jimmy: exactly Janis: [do his name like you too] Jimmy: dunno about giving me 🏆 for everything Jimmy: won't get out this door Janis: much as miss would love that Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: it's Ms, get it right Jimmy: Dead mysterious, her Janis: will not respect her pronouns, soz Jimmy: til she keeps a more decent bottle stashed none of her choices are valid, I get it, pisshead Janis: look, if she wants to let the married teachers know she's damaged enough to cheat, that's her lookout Janis: but miss and sir saves remembering their names and they need to deal Jimmy: 😂 Janis: please call me Ms Cavante from now on, tbh Jimmy: bit of roleplay Janis: 🤏 Janis: just gonna set you homework Janis: be dead disappointing Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 nowt else were expected Janis: 😣 oi Jimmy: change my mind Jimmy: if you reckon I'm wrong Janis: easy Jimmy: to say Janis: wait and see Janis: Detention Jimmy: have to wait and see what ends up on my 📷 an' all Janis: yeah Janis: you can give me critique but Janis: you won't wanna Jimmy: make me sound like a right dickhead Jimmy: not working for the 🎨 department Janis: you only wanna be student? Janis: but you LOVE moonlighting as a professional 45 year old Jimmy: just don't wanna dress like miss for the roleplay, won't do nowt for either of us Janis: 😂 Janis: please don't Janis: I've left my fringe alone Jimmy: 🚫✂ Jimmy: not to use on yourself any road Janis: 😏 Janis: do you think that's an appropriate way to talk to a teacher? Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: that'll be why I'm in isolation though Janis: yeah, with MS Burke Janis: not me Jimmy: if we get rid of Lucas, detention is Janis: if I come back now before PE is over, I'll have time to prepare something Janis: a distraction Jimmy: did you have your 🥪☕? Janis: why? Jimmy: what do you mean why? Jimmy: before you go Janis: I'm good, don't worry Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: you don't need to ask Janis: I know how to get myself lunch Jimmy: you don't need to be a dickhead Janis: you neither Jimmy: I'm not Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I washed up, it's fine Jimmy: told you, the rubber gloves do nowt for me either Jimmy: not a #kinkunlocked Janis: not trying to be but I've not trashed your house if that's what you reckon Jimmy: what would I reckon that for? Janis: Dunno, what it sounds like though Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: not gonna do the 🐕 out of a job, she don't pull her weight as is Janis: she's asleep at the minute but no promises you won't come home to a disaster from her obvs Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: say night to her Jimmy: [signs it and sends that] Janis: she got that Janis: said night babe Jimmy: 💰 on you translating that one wrong Janis: um, you heard Janis: basically a dog whisperer Jimmy: save it for the fans Jimmy: that's the fake bollocks they 😍 Janis: how dare you Janis: not out here saying you make a shit cuppa Jimmy: 'cause I don't and you or her ain't that good at lying Janis: my biggest job atm is literally lying how am I not Jimmy: not about ☕💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: you've really taken personal offence yeah Jimmy: any northerner would do Janis: 💔💔 Janis: soz for disrespecting your culture Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 😒🌧 Janis: I am Janis: so serious Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: that a dog whisperer secret? behave like the 🐕? Janis: rude Janis: just 'cos it's not racial don't compare me to a dog Jimmy: rude that you don't wanna be like your new best mate Janis: you're the one that wants a new bestie Jimmy: bollocks Janis: @ Helena Jimmy: @ her 💊s Janis: I can get you 💊s Jimmy: and I could get them myself if I were that bothered Janis: why are you getting rid of me then Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: to you or Helena Janis: don't Janis: we're still mates, aren't we Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I fucked up Janis: not very mates #goals Jimmy: I'm not 💔🎻😭 over missing the party, I said Janis: I know Jimmy: you can do what you like, it's nowt to do with me Janis: 'Course I can Janis: but a heads up would've been good Janis: not like asking for a lot, I'm not thick Jimmy: heard you had a lot on Janis: still Jimmy: you don't owe me owt more than you made Grace give me Janis: alright then Jimmy: didn't expect you to be gone that long but it weren't owt to make it look like you weren't, like we said Janis: and I didn't expect to have to take off that fast Janis: don't mean it didn't leave you in the lurch just 'cos it was unavoidable Janis: felt it, whatever Janis: so there, have it Jimmy: I don't want whatever 🏆 you're trying to give out right now Janis: it's not Janis: for me or you Janis: just what it is Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to accept a sorry but I do have to say it Janis: it's done now though so Janis: don't need to be 😬 Jimmy: if you mean it as you won't fuck up again, I'll take it Jimmy: it's just not what most dickheads use it for Jimmy: might be a northern thing an' all Janis: that's the goal Janis: promising as much would just be 👍 until proven bollocks and I don't wanna do that, fuck that Janis: but if I have to go again, I'm going to make sure I give you warning and whatever else would help it not be such a dickhead thing to do Janis: but 🤞 Jimmy: you're a dickhead, don't ❌ your whole brand, mate Janis: 😏👌 Janis: like being charming is yours Jimmy: when I have to go an' all, I'll be charming with the 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: is a bit rich but there you go Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you'll not be sending postcards to say soz Janis: and fat use if you do Jimmy: I'll be sending 'em for the 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: daily thing, that Janis: yeah obvs Janis: makes it alright Jimmy: it were you who told me to keep on Janis: just saying Jimmy: what? Janis: why am I apologizing? Jimmy: weren't me who said you had to Janis: well I'll take it back when you fuck off then Jimmy: why wait? Janis: 'cos I'm not a dick Jimmy: if you're gonna take it back then it don't mean fuck all now Janis: and yours won't mean nothing even if you sent it every day Janis: be even Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: 'cos you're going for good, don't matter how soz you may or may not be Jimmy: and you coming back don't mean you won't piss off again, might be for good an' all for all I know Jimmy: that's about you, when I go it won't be nowt to do with me Janis: 1. you want to go, that's not nothing to do with you, own it at least 2. yeah, I wanna be gone as well but that ain't why I left then, for fun Jimmy: 1. you don't know what you're going on about 2. I never said it were Janis: 1. it's all you've said since you've been here, that's what I know 2. pretty much did but whatever Jimmy: 1. what I've said is that I don't give a fuck where I am, every shithole is the same 2. you weren't thinking about nowt but yourself is what I meant Janis: 1. yeah, exactly 2. got to do what we've got to do Jimmy: yeah we do, they're got somewhere they wanna be and I don't, ignoring that would make me a massive twat Janis: it's alright Jimmy: It's not and I don't need you to chat bollocks to me that it is Janis: for you Jimmy: *for them Janis: nah, for you Janis: sorry I don't have younger siblings to give me a fake reason to live Janis: I don't have to be selfless, that ain't my fault you got no other choice Jimmy: I'm not gonna sit here and write you a massive list of who might give a fuck about you pissing off and why, fake or real Jimmy: there's a whole scale between being selfless and not being a fucking dickhead Janis: Good, be a massive waste of time for us both Janis: it isn't the same, so you don't get it Janis: they need you, no fucker needs me, end of Jimmy: you heard me say do what the fuck you like then Janis: I don't need you to say it but tah Jimmy: I got that you don't need nowt from me, don't worry Janis: be stupid to Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: far as fake reasons to live go, you reckon I've already got mine Janis: you do it if you want Janis: why should I Jimmy: no fucker needs you, you said, if that's what you reckon, if this is all a waste of time, that's why you should Janis: because that's not why we're doing it Janis: it's to stop people wanting us Jimmy: Why did you even bother asking if we're still mates? Janis: why did you bother saying it in the first place? Jimmy: it ain't me who's going on as if I don't have an inbox full of dickheads Jimmy: if that's what you're doing it for 💔 for you Janis: not what I asked Jimmy: but there's your answer, I said we were mates 'cause we were Janis: that'll be why I asked then Jimmy: if nowt matters to you but your DMs, there's no need to ask Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: not what I've said at any point Jimmy: it's what you just said Janis: I said that's what the plan was about Janis: not that it's the only thing I've got or give a shit about, but thanks Jimmy: what it were about, yeah Janis: there's just Janis: fuck it Janis: need to get back for next lesson Jimmy: didn't need the update but tah for it Janis: whatever Janis: go away then Jimmy: see you in detention then Janis: hooray Jimmy: you can leave that out Jimmy: Lucas is the only one chuffed Janis: I can be as well Janis: all I care about, after-all Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: really Janis: what a revelation Jimmy: shouldn't be Jimmy: I've said it loads of times now Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: yeah, you're fucking annoying Janis: I knew that Jimmy: dry your eyes then, mate Jimmy: got lessons to go to Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Janis: I just got back Janis: and you can't make me Jimmy: could do but I ain't THAT selfless Jimmy: soz to piss on your carefully crafted narrative Janis: what, that everyone hates me and wants me gone? Janis: not that tragic Janis: not being needed isn't being wanted 💀💀💀 Janis: it's not a sob story, if anything, makes this all a lot easier Jimmy: tah for spelling that out for me Jimmy: now I can FINALLY get my head round it I'm BEYOND chuffed for you Janis: yeah, make it more convincing next time around Janis: that you understand, that is Janis: don't need your blessing either, OBVS Jimmy: if there were anyone around I might bother Jimmy: don't need your 🏆 Janis: fortunate Janis: be a real shame Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: just like that, yeah Jimmy: no need for 👏👏🌹 either Jimmy: it's all the same bollocks Janis: yeah, there's no need for any of this Janis: yet here we are Janis: deal with it or do something about it Jimmy: do it yourself Jimmy: I've got enough to deal with, my sob story that you keep going on about as if you've got it all memorised Janis: and? Janis: I don't give a shit, do I, 'cos all I care about is myself Janis: not mates, never were Jimmy: and I don't need you tell me I've got no fucking choices Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm not telling you anything, or trying to for that matter Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we better skip honey] Jimmy: [oh this detention] Janis: [oh lawd, in a mood now] Jimmy: [the 😒 isn't just his face rn honey] Janis: [just sassing into this room they've had you in all day boy, by sassing I do mean storming lbr] Jimmy: [whatever he's meant to be copying out we all know he's really doing v unflattering pictures of Mr Lucas because how we be feeling rn we don't care how much trouble we get in or what happens] Janis: [the lecture you're gonna get about ruining the school trip like it weren't a million years ago, like let it go babe] Jimmy: [we've lived a whole rom com life since then sir so obvs Jimothy is just 🙄 feel free to give him a lecture about that if you want hun] Janis: [we know the way neither of you gives a single fuck is gonna infuriate him so much, also saying she sits in front of Jimmy so she doesn't have to look at him] Jimmy: [make him have to look at your hair and the temptation of having her back to write on, love that] Janis: [mhmm, did that on purpose, at least we know full well Lucas is the type of dickhead to be like ooh you had a lovers tiff 'cos they're both in such a mood so it gives us an excuse to have to fake a bit like fuck you] Jimmy: [what an absolute dick, we all know the type] Janis: [think he's being bants 'cos everyone always takes the piss out of him and own back but no, really obviously passing back a note that's SO extra and lovey-dovey but also talking about what a loser Lucas is] Jimmy: [send the drawings with the reply you do because she'll enjoy them even more now that he's being SUCH a dick] Janis: [the laugh we're barely stifling like hope you have to come and look at these hun but also they'd be genuinely funny] Jimmy: [also shamelessly passing her gum or sweets or whatever we have that we're not meant to be cracking out now like love you gal] Janis: [blowing bubbles with the gum to be that bitch like we know you're gonna begrudgingly have to stop her 'cos you're such a perv] Jimmy: [glad Jimothy can't see that from his angle because how distracting] Janis: [can see when we go to the bin to take it out and we spit it out just as suggestively, maintaining eye contact and winking like it hasn't been a million years] Jimmy: try not to die boy because that would get to you under any circumstances never mind these when it has literally been the longest you've not seen each other since you started this] Jimmy: [obviously gonna maintain the eye contact like it's nbd but] Janis: [coming back and doing that thing where you like hold and stroke their cheek as you turn to sit down like so casual] Jimmy: [the restraint it would take to either not make a SOUND or flinch away when she did that which are obvs his two conflicting urges, but what we actually do is play with her hair as she does that like it's a choreographed scene and in the hopes that she'll then be in the same boat as he is] Janis: [obviously we are, even if our flinch reflex is out because we're proving something here, leaning back in your chair so your head is practically on his desk and he can keep playing with your hair, at least until you're told to stop then the most dramatic UGH like ffs sir living my best life here] Jimmy: [playing with hair until that last possible second because 1. it's a fave 2. it'll annoy sir 3. it's something you're so used to doing and can get lost in as if it hasn't been a million years/everything isn't so shit rn] Janis: [gonna go some texts 'cos also duh and if he does see it'll annoy him, even if it means losing your phone for the duration when he do] Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: [a selfie doing it because it'll annoy Lucas that he took one if he sees and also like I know you can't see my face rn and you're so gutted about it] Janis: you're so hot Janis: [such a dramatic wistful sigh 'cos trying to get caught, nothing more OBVS, but Lucas is probably trying to ignore you two now like stop it] Jimmy: you Jimmy: [and obviously an even louder one back that's of course only for the same reason lol] Janis: [just play a lowkey game of boogeys with that which could get so indecent lmao] Jimmy: [Sir is gonna need a minute ™] Janis: [truly lmao, we're just trying not to crack up 'cos it's so serious of course] Janis: wish we were in here alone Jimmy: [write out a saucy little scenario for what you would do if you were that I honestly hope Mr Lucas will see at some point because OBVS that's the only reason we're saying any of this yep] Janis: [step it up sir, when you've got an hour of this and you wish you'd never bothered lowkey loooooool] Janis: I know a way, if you really want it Jimmy: ? Janis: Maybe I should make you wait for it though Janis: [not wanting to send texts that don't sound real/flirty rn 'cos the goal is him reading them, obvs, but trying to get across like do we ACTUALLY wanna be alone or nah] Jimmy: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: I probably won't get away with another selfie Janis: That's good Janis: how could I say no to that face Jimmy: or owt else in my 📷 roll Jimmy: there's loads of really convincing shit in there Janis: his rant did remind me Janis: of how many 📷 we took on the trip Janis: and the ones we didn't Jimmy: feels like ages ago Janis: too long Jimmy: when's the next one? Janis: [ask Lucas for his HA! of a reaction] Jimmy: [we loling because we shall openly mock you and your lack of authority sir, don't give a fuck] Janis: [honestly, like okay babe, looking forward to all the team building and shit] Janis: you'll still wanna be my partner by then? Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know how I feel about that Janis: I like when you tell me though Jimmy: 👀 or 🗨? Janis: show me yours I'll show you mine Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: [make a big performance ™ of writing on her back so Lucas can't fail to notice but we don't actually have to say anything we're probably just drawing a 🏆 or something like well done for this 'fakery'] Janis: [acting like that tickles way more than it ever actually has and going to turn like you're gonna make out or something but obviously getting stopped and probably moved a few desks away or something] Jimmy: [waits until she's been moved and then 'accidentally' spills a shit load of water everywhere like oops must be because I'm so distracted rn relatable isn't that sir and then the whole rigmarole of having to sort that out would make Lucas be fuming like he's either gonna have to also move Jimothy or leave to get shit to clean that up with] Janis: [probably just trying to move him and then being like NO SIR THAT'S A SLIP HAZARD like we are so concerned and how dare you at least get a wet floor sign] Jimmy: [off you go dickhead, give them a minute to breathe and be real but also an excuse to have to make out or something which is perfectly timed for your return] Janis: [should say something creepy about them seeming like they want him to see because the looks you'd give him/each other are sending me] Janis: think he's actually having a break from reality Janis: 😕 Jimmy: get the school therapist on the 📞 Janis: might leave you alone then Janis: 😡😡 Jimmy: be nice if everyone would Janis: [asking Lucas if he knows the school therapist lady in such an obvious way like she's trying to matchmaker them] Jimmy: [chiming in because #teamwork honey, I'm sure Lucas is shooketh because this is probably the most Jimmy has ever said] Janis: [casually a bit terrified, bless but not at all sorry] Jimmy: [I like to think from where she's sitting now they can send each other so many LOOKS but also looks like oh sir] Janis: [for sure] Janis: wanna be impressed? Jimmy: depends if you mean by you or sir 😏 Janis: oi 😂 Jimmy: go on Janis: I bet you I can get us out of here for good in the next 15 minutes Jimmy: and if you don't? Janis: You get whatever you want, of course Jimmy: can't lose Jimmy: I'll be timing you Janis: [having a text back and forth with someone that ain't him obviously and then waiting] Janis: [so my idea is when she was coming back into school she keyed his car up and has now text Sophie who's in some kind of after-school club to go to the office and tell them she's just found it 'cos she's quite good so we're not suspecting her of doing it then going to inform them, so someone from the office coming in within this timeframe to be like um hey 'cos he probably has some wanky mid-tier sports car and will be FUMING] Jimmy: [LOVE THAT] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING (lbr when are we not) at him when Lucas has run out in a fluff like ta-da 'cos had that planned since we came back baby and now they can just leg it 'cos he's distracted as hell] Jimmy: [THE LOOK he would not be able to stop himself giving her because that's impressive as hell like he'd honestly probably also go to kiss her and then be like -] Janis: [casually not moving or breathing for ages like he might still do it, as if he didn't just stop himself, but then going in her bag and pulling out a hoodie that is not his but Ian's and handing it back 'just in case the CCTV caught shit' and shrugs like we know it didn't but may as well look like a middle-aged dude if not] Jimmy: [chucking it back at her and gesturing to wherever she keeps the lighter he gave her like feel free to burn it because fuck Ian] Janis: ['was on the back of a chair' like don't think I've gone through his wardrobe or something weird 'knew it weren't yours' and such a face feel the shade sir, offering it out for a bit longer but nods and takes it back like alright, makes no difference to me] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling at the shade face in spite of everything because it's so important and makes you so happy and relieved that she's always been on your side about him] Janis: ['maybe he'll think it was Ian, kill the bromance' like we're just talking not to be awkward now 'cos you know you could just walk out] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤞 but crosses her one over the other instead of doing it with his own because we just have to touch her to prove we can and it's fine after the near kiss] Janis: [such a wary smile 'told you I'd show you' in a quieter voice than we've been using but not quite whisper level] Jimmy: ['yeah' likewise soft about it] Janis: [going to walk but not just going, like are you coming or] Jimmy: [obvs we are and we do and we're lighting both of us a 🚬 as soon as we can because she's earnt that] Janis: [just smoke that in silence 'cos at least we know how to do that] Jimmy: [mhmm, though he would go to say something at least once] Janis: [trying not to be too !!! but obviously we want him to say something, doing a feelsy lean as we walk like what] Jimmy: [obvs we're doing it back because always 'can we just-' what boy] Janis: ['yeah' like whatever it is, we can 'cos sincerely mean that] Jimmy: [looking at her like lowkey 😍 lowkey amused because we know she means it even though she doesn't know what we mean and like when does anyone ever care or support us like this] Janis: [pushing him really gently with our next feelsy lean like oi, 'cos you're aware it sounds a bit thirsty but you don't actually care so 😏 'you know I've got nothing else on, why not'] Jimmy: [pulling her as gently closer to him because we just can't help ourselves and taking a big breath likewise because this is all so hard having abandonment/trust issues but also loving/missing her as much as we do] Janis: [speaking really quietly 'cos proximity but also we must 'cos we're so unsure of what to say or do in terms of fixing anything 'I probably said some things I shouldn't have?' as a question not to be annoying but like we truly wanna know as is our confusion but hugging him like earlier 'cos must] Jimmy: [a lil scornful noise an himself like hard same babe 'me an' all' and after he's hugged her for the longest time ever writing 'you' on her but then putting a line through it like it's not your fault 'I'm the dickhead'] Jimmy: [*at] Janis: [shakes her head 'call it a draw, just this once' like we're both 🥇 on this score, going to explain loads of times but the complex emotions never mind the story that's so involved lowkey so we just don't, enjoying being near him again like it's all new 'cos it's been so long] Jimmy: ['I meant what I said before, alright' does not elaborate for what would feel like ages excuse him 'if you need to stay at ours, you can, the rest is just...' trailing off because we obvs mean is not as important as being safe etc] Jimmy: [but we can't say bollocks because it's not] Janis: [just waiting for that like what what what then softening when he does say it 'I know you meant it' and squeezing his hand like !!! thank you but we're not gonna outright be like yes absolutely 'cos we feel like it's not even that bad, even though we HATE being home there's not like a valid enough reason because shit nan isn't always there or whatever] Jimmy: [hug her again but then obvs your feelings are too high so you're like 'I should-' and nod in the direction of your house boy, like remember those siblings I have no choice but to look after] Janis: [straighten up like 'right' but not trying to come across as disappointed as we are 'cos not that bitch so smiling 'got catching up to do with customers as well'] Jimmy: ['piss off then' but soft not like fuck you bye] Janis: [waving like bye as you go but 'see you later?' just as you're about to 'round a corner or whatever] Jimmy: [I love that he's the one who said he should go but has lowkey not moved LOL just a look like do you wanna see me later as if that's not obvious] Janis: [stopping like you really not gonna answer, as if this whole street is watching and waiting lol] Jimmy: [signs 'see you later' like we're so put upon but we're clearly amused] Janis: [does it back best we can but does 'I missed you' 'cos got that down] Jimmy: [we wanna do it back but feels are getting too high again so we just nod like well done gal you have got that down and do whatever 🤓 is instead] Janis: [🖕 but in a bants way and you must go now] Jimmy: [😏😘 because we love it but yeah fuck off both of you please]

[g-on-ef]

I'm having a bad day, can you write a DamiJon and TimKon fic where the supers are having an arm wrestling match and their Robin's are laughing and cheering them on from the sidelines? Pleasssseeeeeeee????? 😄

I hope you enjoy this sweetie and that the rest of your week is better and more enjoyable ^*^

Alfred was famous for making sweets; no matter what itwas his deserts where always the best so it was no surprise that there werehardly any leftovers since the batboys tend to finish them. Today however, wasan exception Alfred made his famous cinnamon crumb cake and there were only twoslices left.

Tim, Kon, Jon, and Damian looked at one another silentlychallenging the others for the slices of cake.

“We deserved the last two slices, we’ve solved a case andarrested four drug lords!” Tim said glaring at Damian.

“Arresting a criminal and solving a case is child’s playDrake both Jon and I were able to take down Luthor and his operations!”

“You had help from both Bruce and Clark and we didn’t!”

“You also had outside help, Grayson and Todd had a handin taking down the drug lord,”

“That’s different!”

“How?!”

Before either two could continue their argument, Jon and Connorstood between them and separated the two.

“Come on guys the slices are big enough for all four ofus to share,” Jon said trying to keep the peace, Connor looked at his littlebrother like he grew two heads.

“What?” the younger Kent asked.

“Are you serious? You really want a small slice of Alfred’scake, when you can have your own big piece?”

“Well yeah but,”

“But nothing Kent, it’s clear that neither Drake, the clone,nor I are going to let this matter go until we get what we want,”

“And how are we gonna settle this?” Jon had to ask,Connor smirk as he sat down at the table and stuck out his hand.

“Arm wrestling, you and me Jon winner takes both slicesof cake and the mantle of the second strongest member in the Kent family.”

Both Damian and Tim looked at each other before a slysmile spread across their faces.

“An arm wrestle contest would not only give us a victor,but it’ll finally determine which of our aliens is the far soupier one,” Damiansaid already liking this idea.

“I hate to agree with the brat but he’s right Kon, youbetter win this and not make me look someone who teams up with pansies,”

“Gee thanks Tim, your faith in me means a lot,”

Damian just rolled his eyes as he looked at Jon.

“I don’t need to give you no words of encouragement becauseyou can easily kick his ass, you are not only my partner but also my boyfriendyou could easily defeat him without even breaking a sweat,”

“Umm…thanks?” the young superhero said, a bit worriedthat he’ll let his Robin down.

Jon looked at his brother in fear, the two were alwaysrough housing and testing each other’s strength, sadly Connor always came outon top between their little games. Still beating Connor would be great for hisego also if he could slide in another deal maybe Jon can win both the cake andsomething else.

“Okay, but let’s add something else to the deal,”

“And that is?”

“If you win you’ll get both the slices of cake and Ma’s last slices of pie, also youand Tim have to do whatever me and Damian say for the rest of the weekend,”

Both Tim and Kon looked at one another before looking attheir younger brothers, Jon with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Damianwith a proud smile that was directed to Jon.

“Okay, but if I win we get both deserts and you andDamian have to do our chores for the rest of the weekend,” he said looking atTim who nodded his head in approval.

“Deal,” Jon said sitting down and grabbing his brother’sarm.

Both Connor and Jon smirked at one another before Damianstood on one side of the table and Tim stood on the opposite end.

“Okay you two, on the count of three,” Tim said lookingat both Superboys,

“One,”

“Two,” Damian said,

“THREE,” both Wayne brothers said simultaneously.

Jon and Connor tried to bring the other down as they usedall their strength to bring the other down.

“Come on Kon, show this little twerp who’s boss,” Timcheered,

“Twerp?” Jon asked, for a second he was distracted for awhile, enough time for Connor to bring his hand down a little.

“Jon focus!” Damian cried afraid of Jon losing, he didnot want to do Drake’s chores for the rest of the weekend but more importantlyhe wanted that cake! {And the pie}

Jon regain his focus as he pulled his arm back upbringing it back to the center, he glared at Kon who couldn’t help but smirk atalmost winning,

“That’s it Jon kick this wanna be Super-man reject’s ass!”

“What did you say?” Kon asked all traces of humor gone,like Kon who took advantage of his distraction Jon used his slip ofconcentration to his advantage and tried to bring down his arm he was halfwaythere before Kon regain focus more like Tim hit him in the back of the head andyell,

“Focus!”

Kon regain his focus as he brought his arm back to thetop, this time it was Jon who had a smirk on his face and a look of worried wason Connor’s.

The two kept trying to bring the other down, Tim and Damianlooked at the two with both excitement and anticipation as their supers triedto beat the other,

“Come on Connor don’t let this little boy beat you,”

“If Jon wins its not because Connor was defeated by a boyit was because he lost to a far supior being,” Damian said as he watched hisboyfriend winning this match.

“Come on Kent, don’t let this clone beat you you’re waybetter than him,”

“Of course, I’m gonna win Dami, after all I’m cuter andsince I am younger that means I’m a lot stronger I mean you’re getting old Kon,that means you’re losing your edge,”

Both Tim and Connor looked at him in shock while Damianlaughed at Jon’s trash talking. He was to cute when he tried to be tough.

Connor smirk as he tried to push his arm down,

“You maybe cute little brother but I’m hotter and I maybeold but I have more experience than you, and plus I at least don’t cry duringthe Lion King or the ending to Pokémon,”

“Ooohhh,” Tim said, he found three pairs of eyes lookingat him weirdly.

“What? Isn’t that what people do after they are donetrash talking them?”

No answered him before Damian said,

“Remember clone, you are marrying that,”

“Don’t remind me,”

“Hey!”

Jon just laughed as he kept trying to bring his brother’shand down.

“Come on Jon kick his ass!”

“Damian language,” Jon said acting scandalous.

“Yeah Dami, gosh darn it you are only six years old!” Timsaid unable to resist a jab at Damian’s age.

Damian just rolled his eyes as all three boys laughed atthe joke making Damian blush a bright red.

Jon and Connor smirk at one another as their boyfriendskept cheering them on.

“Connor you’re the strongest, bravest, sexiest, and bestman out there! Don’t let this little boy win!”

“Kent, I don’t need to boost your ego because you have meas your boyfriend and that’s enough to know you’re better than the clone so youbetter not lose,”

“Of course, I’m everything you said Tim, can’t let thelittle brats get the best of us and think they are better than us, now can I?”

For some reason this made everyone laugh as theirfriendly competition kept getting a little more heated with their trashtalking.

“Dude I know I’m better than you, and I got a hotterRobin who can kick your old ass without even trying,”

This made both Damian and Tim go,

“Ooooooohhhhhhh,”

“Tim, he just dissed you,”

“Yeah, but it was a great dissed I couldn’t resistcheering him,”

Connor turned to his little brother and couldn’t help butsmile as he said,

“You just said a bad word that means I’m telling mom,”

“Tattle tale,” both Damian and Jon said making both Timand Connor laugh.

“Then I’ll tell Tim about the time you dressed as aballerina and danced to swan lake!”

Both Tim and Damian started laughing as Connor turned abright red before he said,

“Say what you want but I look good in a tutu,”

This made all the boys laugh including Connor who couldn’tresist laughing along his friends.

“Ready to give up?”

“Nope, you?”

“Tch, you wish,”

“My superboy is gonna win Dami,”

“Not a chance Drake,”

“My money is on the clone,”

“No way man Jon is totally gonna win,”

“Wait what?” Connor asked distracted by the new voices, thedistraction was enough for Jon to bring down Connor’s hand making him thevictor.

“I did it! I won! I beat my…brother…” Jon watched in horrorat the scene before him,

Damian, Tim, and Connor turned to where Jon’s face wasstaring as their faces mirror Jon’s expression.

Sitting on the counter was Dick and Jason…eating…Alfred’scake.

“See told you little wing that Damian’s superboy wasgonna win,”

“Ah shit man, I owe you fifty bucks,” Jason said as heput his empty plate down next to him.

“Yeah you do,” Dick said as he took a final bite of thecake and placed his own plate down smiling at his brothers and theirboyfriends. He saw that all four of them were giving them a scandalous look.

“What?” Dick said.

All four continue to stare at them before Jon was thefirst to snap out of it and shouted,

“GET THEM!”

A few minutes later Alfred came in the Manor with a newtray of cinnamon crumble cake and two pies from Ms. Kent, he knew his grandsonsloved his sweets which is why he decided to make another batch as well as askMs. Kent for some of her pies which she kindly gave him.

As he passed the living room and headed for the kitchenhe had to stop and walk back to the living room to make sure that what he sawwas true and not some trick from his eyes.

Upon looking at the living room he saw Master Grayson andMaster Todd tied up hanging from the ceiling while the young Masters, MasterDrake, and Master Kent were sitting in a circle watching some show.

Master Connor was sitting on the couch while Master Drakewas resting his head on Master Connor’s lap who was running his fingers throughhis hair.

Jon and Damian were resting on the other couch in thesame position as their older brothers however, Master Damian was reading a bookto Master Kent and young Master Kent was smiling as he listen to Damian’s softvoice.

Master Todd and Master Grayson were shouting-or tryingwith the gags on their mouth-to be released. All in all it was a typical Fridaynight.

He wanted to ask but at the same time was afraid to,after all if he had to guess it involved his sweets and the boys not being ableto get some. Taking a deep breath, he shakes his head as he headed for thekitchen. He’ll wait until the boys are done watching TV and released MasterGrayson and Master Todd before announcing his surprise.

#damijon #damijon prompts #writing prompt #writing prompts #request filled #damian wayne #jonathan kent #jon kent #timkon #tim drake #conner kent #kon el #super sons #dc batman #dc superman

[eilowyn]

Oh shit, writing prompts hell YES. Okay, get this-- Lifeguard/bay watch type thing for Madasaku. I'm just really digging this prompt/idea. Have an awesome day, fam.

Windows to the Soul - MadaSaku lifeguard AU

One-shot AU where the village of Konoha is near a beach, and Sakura is a part-time lifeguard as extra pay alongside being a regular medic-nin. Also, same-generation, slight age-gap, and possibly OOC content.

Sakura Haruno gazed out at the horizon, letting out a deep breath before blinking to readjust her vision and focus back on the villagers who had picked today to come to the ocean side.

It was a sunny summer day at the beach where many of the citizens of Konoha, and their families, had decided to take the day off from normal responsibilities and have some fun. But of course, with the particularly younger kids (especially the boys), the true definition of “fun” was rough-housing and pushing each other around almost to the point of danger. The lifeguard in the vicinity, Sakura, kept a particularly close eye on them on the occasion, but not without paying attention to all the others who picked the same time to go for a dip. It did not go unnoticed to her that a lot of the men in the area paid just as much attention to her as she did them, if not more. She knew she was attractive, but the extent of it annoyed her to no end.

Letting out another sigh, she ran a hand through her hair to both momentarily shield her eyes from the sun’s glare, as well as distract herself from the few blatant leers of a few men not too far away from where she sat. 

Just for a little longer, until before the sun starts to set, then I can go home.

                                                    [ m x s ]

“Hey, Madara, pass it here!” Hashirama Senju yelled, raising his arms to catch the inflated football which was just about to be thrown at him. Madara Uchiha smirked his way, cocking his elbow back then letting loose a wide throw, grinning at the soft “oof” that came from the other man due to his strength. 

“Nice catch, Hashi. Maybe next time you’ll do without the wussy squeak,” he laughed, nearly doubling over at the rising color in the brown-haired man’s cheeks.

The Uchiha and the Senju families were those among the residents that came to the beach that day, deciding they needed just as much of a break as everyone else - not just because of how prominent both families were when it came to the function and stability of the village, of course. It was Madara, his younger brother Izuna, and their cousins Itachi, Shisui, and Sasuke. Only Hashirama and his younger brother Tobirama were in place of the Senju. Madara was currently the head of the Uchiha house, and Izuna was his second-in-command. Their cousins ran day-to-day tasks, but still held a bit of that authority given their reputations as fearsome, powerful shinobi. No average joe-nin dared to mess with them, even at the beach, where everyone enjoyed themselves as equals, fooling around and filling the masses with laughter.

A sudden, shrill whistle pierced the air, which made the men wince before they turned their heads to inspect what had happened for the warning to have needed to been given. The pink-haired lifeguard was bounding out of her seat, running towards the shoreline then jumping in. A few seconds passed by before she burst back up to the surface with a young boy who had decided to be brave and swim too far off. 

Madara stared as she pulled him out of the water, patting his back while he coughed out some water and then bopping him on the head, chastising him for his recklessness. He couldn’t see her eyes because of her sunglasses, but the lines forming on her face gave him the idea that she was definitely annoyed. He had to swallow a slight lump in his throat when she turned and walked back to her station to climb up the ladder, the tight wetsuit clinging rather snugly to some parts of her body.

“Man, she’s such a party pooper. The kid was just trying to show off to some chicks!” Izuna exclaimed from behind him, and a few faint, adolescent-female giggles confirmed it, but Madara barely heard him. He was too busy continuing to stare at that.. interesting lifeguard. Her flushed pale skin, supple curves, and legs which seemed never-ending had him hooked, and he so badly wanted to approach. He suspected she was young, but old enough for his tastes. And that hair... it reminded him of cotton candy. He wondered what color her eyes could possibly be if her hair was pink, of all things, and with a clearing of his throat, he decided.

Madara Uchiha was a man of ambition. If he wanted something, he’d get it. And today was no exception.

“Izuna, quick,” he said with a start, grabbing his younger brother by the shoulder to get his attention. He leaned in and cupped a hand to his ear, quickly whispering his plan.

                                                    [ m x s ]

The nerve of that kid, going so far off shore just to impress a few girls. He could have gotten seriously hurt, or worse! Where were his parents? Sakura huffed in irritation, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen next to her to slather on a new layer. For the next minute or two, she continued to grumble mentally before the sound of particularly forced splashing and a male voice rang out:

“Help!”

Her head snapped up and she immediately found the source, a grown man, with rather long, obsidian hair, even more dangerously close to being swept away by the waves struggling to stay above the surface. The pinkette’s eyes widened minutely, her mind running through several reasons as to why a person so seemingly fit and capable of swimming could be struggling, but immediately blanked so as to go into auto-pilot and grabbing the rescue can hooked underneath her seat. She ran as fast as she could, her feet pounding against the sand until she felt the familiar shock of the cold water hit her skin, and her vision blurred. She saw the man’s figure sink beneath the surface and she pushed herself to swim faster, grabbing him by the shoulders and repeating the same routine she had done with the boy until he was well away from the water and laying on the sand with his head elevated.

Not bothering to even catch her breath, Sakura went to work. “One, two, three, breathe!” she cried, pushing both fists against his chest in a steady rhythm to coax the water from his throat to escape. After several moments of seemingly nothing, she pinched his nose and leaned down, capturing his lips with hers and breathing as much air as she had stored into lungs into his mouth. A slight jerk, followed by a struggle to cough caught her attention and she leaned back, allowing him to turn his head and clear his throat. While he did so, she finally relaxed, her shoulders losing their tension. She got a good look at the man, then, observing his muscular physique and absurdly long locks of hair. He had rather prominent bags underneath his eyes, and the curious thought crossed her mind of what could possibly make him so tired to create them.

He then turned his head back around and slowly cracked both eyes open at the sensation of gentle fingers smoothing said hair back from his forehead, and what he saw nearly took his breath away once again. He blinked a few times, then croaked out, “Wow...”

Curtains of pink shielded him from the glare of the sun, and eyes the brightest of green stared down at him, with pink lips parted in preparation to speak. 

Those eyes... they had such a story to them, he knew.

“Sir... Can you hear me?” the girl asked, her fingers nearly sinking into the hair at the top of his head, seemingly entranced in her inquiry about his current state. “Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous? What is your name? And do you have anyone I could possibly contact?”

Seemingly delirious, the man shook his head then started to sit up with a grunt. “No.. I’m fine, it’s just..” He looked at her again, then, studying her face for a moment. A smirk tugged at his lips and he offered, “Do you have any plans tonight?”

                                                     [ m x s ]

“And that’s the story of how we started dating,” Madara finished, leaning against the ladder of the lifeguard station while sipping at his pink lemonade, Ino and Tenten staring at him with their mouths hanging open.

“As if!” Sakura cried, kicking lightly at his head from her seat up on the station. “I totally rejected you the first time, I was so angry. You faked drowning to get my attention, you jerk!” 

“Hey, it worked!” the Uchiha retorted with a laugh, patting her calf which evoked another attempt at violence. “You were on duty, there was no way I could just walk over and strike up a conversation. I had to get creative, sue me.”

Recovering from their shock, both Ino and Tenten began raining down a mass of questions all at once, turning both to Sakura and each other with excited, gushy squeals of how romantic it all seemed. Sakura stuck her tongue out in mock-disdain and turned her head to focus on the east side of the beach, where something caught her attention.

“Hey babe, duty calls,” she called to Madara, climbing down the ladder then quickly going up on her tiptoes to give her boyfriend a peck on the lips. “I’ll catch you later.” And with that, she turned her back ran towards the scene that had piqued her interest, Madara staring at her the whole way there with a wry smile on his face.

“Mm, mm. Never gets old.”

Okay, wow. Didn’t expect it to get this long but, inspiration always strikes for my other OTP as well, I guess. Thank you for the prompt!

#madasaku #madara uchiha #sakura haruno #prompts #blitzkike

[fire-fira]

I really, really, really want to die rn. I'm going to binge read your stories because they're seemingly all I live for at the moment. If you could ease write like.. a small Drabble or whatever size length you want of DamiColin angst centered on our fav orphan, that would really help. Thank you.

Apologies that it has taken me so long to get this one done (due to the first attempt having been eaten by tumblr). I hope you’re feeling better since you wrote this, and I hope you’re getting the help and support you need. I hope you enjoy the final result.

Also, just in case there’s any confusion, I included a little Arabic on Damian’s part (habibi– ‘my love’ or ‘beloved’– and ouhibbouka– I love you). I tried my best to make sure it was accurate.

(So if any of my lovely followers speak Arabic and I got it wrong, please let me know.)

Sometimes It’s The Little Things (Ao3 version)

Colindidn’t like thinking about family. Or, more accurately, he didn’t like thinkingabout his lack of one. It wasn’t something he wanted to focus on. It wasn’tsomething he wanted to think about. Thinking about it only ever made him upset,and while Colin wasn’t as bad as some, he couldn’t erase his anger issues— andwhenever he was upset it was reallyhard to keep his temper in check. So he tried not to think about it and put itout of his mind. It wasn’t always effective. Like now.

Heand Damian were in one of the League’s various bases (more like a safehousethan anything) alone. Colin was sitting on a couch in what could have beentermed either a living room area or a lounge, brooding; honestly it didn’tmatter what the space was called. What mattered was the fact that he wasbrooding and had been brooding for a long time. Damian had been standingnearby, waiting, but Colin didn’t feel inclined to break the silence first.

Finally,Damian chose to speak up and casually asked, “What’s bothering you Wilkes?” Of course he could tell that Colin wasstewing over something. After having known each other for a little over sixyears it only made sense that he knewwhen Colin was close to blowing up.

“Nothing.”

“Weboth know that’s a lie.”

Colinscowled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Damianarched an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. After a moment or two he said, “Weboth know I’m not good with talking about ‘feelings,’ but even I know thattrying to ignore it when you’re this frustrated isn’t a good thing.”

“Youcan’t fix it Damian,” Colin snapped.

Silencestretched for a few long moments before Damian said, “You don’t have to stayhere on-base, or even go back to the orphanage. You’re more than welcome tostay at the manor.” This was hardly the first time Damian had said something ofthe sort while clearly implying that Colin should move in rather than justvisit.

Itwas no secret that at times Colin hatedhaving to stay at the orphanage, but at the same time he wasn’t happy that hewould age out of it soon. It was all he had known, and while it wasn’t accurateto say he had nowhere to go (Damian would hardly tolerate Colin ending up onthe street), it was everything he’d had and— in a year— would lose.

“That’sjust it, Damian. Moving in wouldn’t help anything. Sure, your family is greatand all, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not mine. And don’t try tosuggest that they would adopt me because I refuseto consider becoming my boyfriend’s brother.”He was agitated, but trying to keep it in check. Even so, he could feel thedistant itching sensation in his spine that usually signaled the beginning ofhis physical shift to Abuse. He forcefully clamped it down.

“Theydon’t dislike you. And you’ve said you like the manor when you’re there anyway.”Apparently he felt like being persistent.

Theitch in Colin’s spine spread to a vague ache in the bones of his arms andhands. “That’s not the point!” he burst out before lunging to his feet to paceback-and-forth. “You want to know what’s bothering me? Fine. The problem isthat moving in won’t change anything.”

Damianwatched silently as Colin paced, his rant becoming more heated the longer hespoke.

“Movingin won’t change the fact that I’venever had a family who gave a shit about me, or at least not for long anyway!Moving in won’t change the fact that I never had a home, that no one wanted toput up with my anger issues, that I was considered ‘too much of a problem’ toeven be fostered. It won’t change thefact that I was considered so much of a ‘problem’ that almost no one cared to go looking for me when I went missing and was getting experimented onin that damned warehouse! If I had died I would have just been one more namelesslittle body mentioned on the news with no one to even see or mourn the factthat I wasn’t there anymore… if my bodyhad even been found. No one wonderingwhere I went, what happened, and no one to even miss me enough to have a hardtime changing anything in a room that had been mine.” He came to a stop in his pacing, his hands flexing as amuscle in his jaw worked. It was getting hard to hold the shift back, but hewas determined not to lose that much control.

Damianalmost reached out to him, but pulled back. Something else that had come fromknowing Colin for so long was the awareness that sometimes it wasn’t wise totry to touch Colin when he was upset, unless he indicated otherwise.

WhenColin started speaking again, it was in a far more subdued tone as he droppedback into his seat on the couch. “It can’t take away the fact that I never had anyone to come home to, tocare about, or to even have care about me.I never had siblings, or parents, oreven grandparents. No one cared, noone wanted to care, all because I wasthe pain-in-the-ass orphan with anger issues. It didn’t matter how good I was,how hard I tried. I was too much to handle. And because of that, if I died, noone would have cared. I would have just been one more damned statistic.”

Damianfrowned and moved to sit on the arm of the couch. When Colin didn’t tell him toback off, he placed a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “Habibi… You have a place.You always have a place, even if wedon’t last.” It was rare for Damian to be gentle, rare to show that side. Ithad taken years for Damian to let those walls down even around Colin, and Colinwas the one emotionally closest to him.

Colincould feel his eyes trying to well up and pressed the heels of his palms to hiseyes while forcing himself to breathe slowly. He didn’t want to cry, cryingwould have been too much and would have been too overwhelming in that moment,but he couldn’t help the faint tremble that escaped anyway. When he trustedhimself to speak without his voice cracking, he weakly laughed out, “You’resuch a goddamn sap. A sap who puts up this giant front of being a fuckingasshole except for moments like this when I need you like the pain-in-the-assthat I am.” His throat felt thick with unshed tears.

A thoughtfulhum emanated from Damian before he gently tugged Colin closer and soothinglycombed the fingers of his right hand through Colin’s hair. “Only around you, habibi. Ouhibbouka. This you know.”

Colin held it together for a moment longer before heturned and buried his face in Damian’s chest and wrapped his arms around him.Even through the tears he struggled to keep in check, he said, “Next time I seethem I’m telling your family you’re a giant fucking sap.”

“Better that than telling them you’re breaking up withme.”

“Shut up.” Despite the teasing, Colin felt a littlebetter. Nothing could erase the gap in Colin’s life of what he hadn’t had, butat least on days like this Damian knew how to make it bearable.

#Colin Wilkes #Damian Wayne #DamiColin #angst #my fiction #17-year-old Damian isn't as much of a pain in the ass #He's matured a little #Colin has been through too much