#my heart actually aches so much

[gardengaytes]

post-concert depressive episode except you were only able to tayl-gate bc being on long-term medical leave means dwindling savings and income and the us leg ends in two weeks and she's not coming to canada and you have to accept that you'll never get to see the tour fr inside the stadium

and also dancing with mobility aids while taylorgating was very rough on you physically so you basically slept through two days after and you're still in pain and recovering

owie

#taylorgating #tayl-gating #the eras tour #is this it... my triumphant return to tumblr 10 years later... #it's coming back around (I am depressive and on tumblr wow this feels familiar) #my heart actually aches so much #tayl-gating was so good though I cried and danced as much as I could stand and I made 2 friends and it was beautiful and wonderful #and yet #still sad

[softerhaze]

(♪)

me, an infant, not knowing that i’m a sim in a wants based gameplay (like, what is that.....lol) and that both of my parents (also sims) have wants related to having another kid

there was just a lot of simulated love in this little house okay!! i can’t get into it right now!! for emotional reasons!! *starts crying, drops the mic u didn’t know i had, storms off the stage u didn’t know i was on*

also amie doesn’t have much time left lol, i wanted to make sure i had a good pic of her with her only great-grandchild ;------;

#ts4 #*ts4gameplay #*sunday save #*sunday save gen 2 #z #*jay #*ruthie #*paloma #*amie #i'll tag everyone else later (no i won't) #gonna keep it real with u all....i love these pixels so much it makes my heart ache <3 #also this party was on new years but her actual birthday will be on fall 1 so i'm just #making everything consistent in advance lol

[da-proti-toku-grem]

i'm torn between screaming and going insane because N A C E T I T S VXJSBSJSBSSIBSJANBS and crying because of how incredibly proud and happy i am that he felt comfortable taking that pic and sharing it in his story

#genuinely so so so fucking proud of him #i want to cry actually #i love him so much my heart aches :( <3 #joker out #nace jordan #maca speaks #maca is being (totally not) normal about nace jordan once again

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

accidentally just listened to perfect sense while writing and now i’m crying all over my notebook. how anyone survived hearing alex sing that live as the goodbye to the entire era of the car is absolutely beyond me oh my god

#it’s actually ridiculous how much of a mess i’ve been over this stuff when i wasn’t even there #my heart is very fragile rn #i miss them so much i ache but also i’m so full of love and gratitude it feels like i don’t have enough space to contain it #aghhhhhh #i just love them so much 🥺 #arctic monkeys #perfect sense #alex turner #lulu posts

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Was anyone gonna tell me Celeste had SEVEN FTES?? Kyoko only had 5 like a normal person!! Which one is the standard here?

#shut up me #got to the ch3 body discovery with my friend #we are zooming through thh #we’re gonna play more on Saturday probably up to when the trial starts #I’m having lots of fun #I’ve never actually played the first two games myself before #it’s hitting so much harder like this #my heart fucking ached for taka during trial 2 and into ch3 #I need to draw him and mondo. god it was just so sad #my friend felt the same too #don’t know how to tell her that one of her favs is dying soon (I will not be telling her) #I also can’t wait to start sdr2 I want to see her reactions to all the characters!!

[sluckythewizard]

adventures from a rly fun magma i got to relaxe in today

#jrwi fanart #this gets ONE (one) proper tag bc im actually rly proud o these. thats IT!!!! #anyway AAA okay so. some1 in the magma reccomended i draw edynXkira. n im like OH MY GOD. thats GENIUS #they both work at the same job or watever. coworkers. they meet only bc edyn happens to break down infront of kira #i mean she IS under alot o stress. w knowing her brother is out there in harms way. aching not only from the decades of abuse but also #from her blatant absence and silence. she KNOWS her brother cares for her bc she feels the same way. and worries just as much. #anyway kira feels bad for whatever shes got going on w this brother of hers. whoever that is. and gets her icecream. #thats what happens in MY beautiful heart. i looove kira i loooove her shes so cuuuute and so sweeeet #IN OTHER NEWS. i also love vex n viv their canon outfits are SOOO FUN. evojelly u legend #no one knows how long i fought w those hands. oh my god. drwaing hands and tools and holding and things is so ANNOOYYIINNGG #yknow what ISnt annoying tho. drawing william wisp. he comes so naturaly to my hand now. i love him so much... #ouuuhhh prime defenders oouuuhhh i miisss youuuu hope ur doing well prime defenderrrsss #aauubabbab i think thats all i got in the ol brain. here. eat my scribbles and arts. hauve fun

[vampiresfromxenon]

Currently writing my next Astarion fluff piece, and while I wanted it to be short, I’m nearly at 2k words and i only just started writing the part I intended to be the main focus… oops

Buckle up friends, we’re getting extra sappy, lots of consensual, non-sexual touching, as well as reader/Tav showering Astarion with words of affection

I was hoping to have it done today so I could post it right around this time, but i want to take my time with this one, so expect it some time later this week (aiming for earlier in the week but we’ll see!!)

Edit: Since this is still getting attention (I’m not 100% sure why), It’s finished and posted! You can read it here

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion fic #astarion fluff #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #reader/tav #soft astarion #he needs love #real love #tav gives him so much affection that I can feel my heart aching writing this #tav softens him up so much too #and he softens them up so like #augh they’re so adorable together #tav is still reader though #i actually haven’t even written ‘tav’ at all in this piece #anyways I’m so excited for you guys to read this

[sciderman]

i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone

damn son save some for the rest of us!!

#sci speaks #i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful. #oh the people with hyperactive hearts... #i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet. #holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on. #i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out. #is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet. #i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell. #so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them. #not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think. #i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way. #squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy. #i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either. #and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it. #lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want. #is love the answer? #i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it. #i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out. #why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something. #i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy. #like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy. #is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think. #i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life. #i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but. #you can get money back. you can't get your time back.

[jimmyspades]

This song and this Boston Legal episode were released on the same day. Someone in 2007 listened to this song then witnessed this scene the same day.

#and here I am in 2024 doing the same thing. in severe pain #fall out boy confirmed Alan Shore stans??? #it’s actually cute and makes my heart ache… me and you honeymoon/if I woke up next to you… :( #alan my baby. oh my gd I love him so much

[chrisbangs]

daily affirmations: im affirming that i love chan

#goodnight #im gonna eat a snack and go to bed #i got distracted watching (and slandering) inki and i didnt finish my tea #and now im hungy... so fuck it ! we ball ! #anyway i love chan so bad u guys.. #i got my albums and i didnt pull any jeongchan #(im being dramatic i pulled chans headliner pob but ACH THE MOST BORING ONE...) #chans album pcs give me actual heart burn this era like he ate . #compared to his pobs which 80% kinda flop :sob: #i love him so much but oiganweofinawo TT __ TT sigh #anyway.. snack time :] #li.txt

[lichtecht]

PART 20

of the dfk 2023 audiobook translation

@cnka

Narrator (audiobook): Robert puts another piece of wood on the trunk and swings the axe.

Bökh: „And you never wanted to get in touch?"

The Nichtraucher picks up a piece of wood.

Silence.

Nichtraucher: „Why should I? We didn’t see each other for the past ten years either.“

He rips the piece of wood apart with his bare hands. While holding eye contact with Justus.

Silence.

Justus lowers his head.

Jo: „Uh.. weren’t you-" Martina, quietly: „Jo, leave it. Lets go.“

Martina, louder: „We need to go! We still have something to do.“

The kids leave. Jo and Martina are holding hands as they walk away.

Bökh: „Yeah… Thank you, kids.“

Jo, whispering as they walk away: "What was that just now?!"

Robert picks up the chopped wood and walks back to his wagon. Justus looks after him.

Narrator (audiobook): If the two friends will find back together? Matze isn’t so sure of that.

Matze, sarcastically: „Well, that was a great success!“ Jo: „Yeah, so much for friendship between Internals and Externs.“

Narrator (audiobook): At least Robert granted Herr Bökh access to his wagon. He looks around lost in thought more or less, while Robert washes the dishes.

Dishes clatter. There is silence otherwise.

Justus stares wistfully at Robert while he washes the dishes.

Justus takes his eyes off Robert and starts looking around while Robert continues to ignore him.

Bökh: „I thought you were living in London.“ Nichtraucher: (silence) Bökh: „It's nice here.“ Nichtraucher: (silence)

Justus starts walking around.

Bökh: „I told the kids about our friendship.“ Nichtraucher: „As a cautionary tale?“ Bökh: (chuckles/scoffs) „No. Of course not.“

Narrator (audiobook): Bökh spots the poster of „the Bandits“, the same one hanging in his apartment.

Bökh: „The 'Wild Dog' that we always played in is still there.“

Nichtraucher: (silence)

Bökh: „Should we meet there sometime? For a beer?“

Robert looks up.

He lets out a small huff, almost like an incredulous laugh or a scoff.

He dries his hands on a towel and folds it.

Nichtraucher: (silence) Nichtraucher: „I don’t know what we would have to say to each other.“

Bökh: „Hm. Well. A lot of time has passed.“

Narrator (audiobook): Robert sits down at the table and lights himself a cigarette.

Justus turns as well and starts looking around again.

Nichtraucher: „Why didn’t you come to Marie’s funeral back then?“

Nichtraucher: „You didn’t even get in touch.“

[„You didn't even get in touch“ -> parallels to „And you never wanted to get in touch?“]

Justus is silent. He starts fiddling with his jacket and pulls it off his shoulder. He lets out a deep, shaky sigh and is silent for another few moments.

Bökh: „…I don’t know, you met her and… and suddenly you were gone.“

[Parallels to „suddenly your closest loved ones are gone“]

Bökh: „As if everything -our friendship, the band- as if that had all just been a dream.“

Justus turns around and looks at Robert.

Bökh: „Wir zwei. Wir hatten doch Pläne.“

Bökh: „That really hurt me.“ Nichtraucher: „It hurt you.“

Silence. Just the music.

Bökh: „Yes. Very much back then.“

The Nichtraucher lets out a soft incredulous laugh again, almost like a scoff.

Nichtraucher: „I see.“

Long silence. Justus stares out the window. Finally, he turns and walks to the door.

Bökh: „You know where to find me.“

Justus leaves the wagon. Robert nods to himself silently.

Narrator (audiobook): And with these words, Herr Bökh leaves his friend’s train wagon. If the two will ever see each other again?

#das fliegende klassenzimmer #dfk 2023 audiobook translation #dfk #das fliegende klassenzimmer 2023 #mine #this is the most scene of dfk 2023 to me. i am having so many feelings and thoughts about it #there is so much to unpack #i really hope this did it justice... the whole. silent staring obviously doesnt translate #the silence in general doesnt translate #i would recommend to actually watch the scene #the silence is so so pivotal #another addition; #ach gott ich nehm grad neue bilder auf weil diese szene hq wirklich wert ist #und ich komm immer noch nicht darüber hinweg dass justus den nichtraucher allen ernstes 7 SEKUNDEN LANG ANSTARRT WÄHREND DER SPÜLT #ich hab hier wirklich am image limit gekratzt #tbh mit dem foto von den kindern kann ich nichts anfangen aber es scheint nicht unwichtig zu sein so i included it #it cant be robert and justus cause these kids are waaayy too young #if robert and justus met in school #these kids are like. idk. 9?? #and i assumed they met when they were around the age of the kids in this movie #but maybe i got it wrong?? #its so funny at some point i dont even talk about the Main Things of this scene anymore and focus on the most miniscule details instead #thats probably bc ive watched it maybe 10 times now and literally know this scene by heart. but let us PLEASE talk about the Main Things #i am so ready to have endless discussions about justraucher #hopefully the last addition of tags; #ok honestly i made almost as many edits to the tags as i did to the post #cause i kept changing little things so my comments werent up to date anymore #i think this part will be my magnum opus out of them all. but who knows theres still 9 to come #i think it shows that this is my favourite 🙃 #oh yes i also added mentions to the parallels. felt like these were significant

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

(Anon only please) I'm the same with Leasebound. I love Riley and I love Jaden but I can't see them as a couple. Jalexis should be the endgame ship.

I'M FUCKING SAYING. However, I'm well aware that Jaden and Riley have a lot more development to go through so I don't think we should focus too hard on them not seeming couple-worthy just yet. If they have their first kiss and STILL seem like they shouldn't be together, Rusty is gonna get an earful from me 💀 Imma slide her 20 dollars like "bring my girl Alexis back, PLEASE"

#The first leasebound chapter I read was Jaden's #I didn't start from the beginning #I tried but I didn't find it interesting #But then Jaden's story? #I was actually checking for updates #I never did that before #And then I was so enamored with Jaden that I actually DID go back to the beginning when her chapter was over #I'm so in love with her and Alexis #My heart aches so bad for them #So much of Jaden's story is tied to Alexis #I can't help falling for them a little bit #I'm sure Rusty has something cooking for us so I'm not gonna complain too much #But Alexis is my baby girl #I know it won't happen but if Rusty pulls an uno reverse card on us then leasebound will be the greatest lesbian love story in history

[overuseduniverse]

when someone has a social life, goes to school, works, etc etc but still makes time for you, it's the best feeling in the fucking world

#like omg you actually care enough to make time for me??? eeeee #its important to me #hes texting me while he's playing dnd with his friends and I'm like WOW I am IMPORTANT TO YOU THST MAKSS MY HEART ACHE!!! #difjskdn #i havent had a bpd episode since my break up either which is incredible #the people in my life who would be the people I care enough about to trigger me actually respect my triggers 😅 #and its not a huge deal to them #im like ''hey btw whrn you do (this thing) it really triggers me and i have bpd so it puts me at risk for bad coping mechanisms #and my emotions are really high so I'd really like it if you could avoid doing this'' and theyre likr ''okay'' LMFAO #then i never have to deal with it again #i had to constantly deal witj it in my last relationship. id repeatedly address the trigger iver and over and theyd keep doing it anywyas #even tho i was harming myself and popping pills 24/7 #im so much happier now #a

[kosmicfeelings]

I worry this wound will never close and will continue to bleed

#I want to stop hurting so bad but im worried I never will stop hurting because of how much it still hurts and how it leaves me confused. #It’s been a few months and I still cry about it. My heart still aches and breaks when I think about it. #I thought they were someone who wouldn’t hurt me. but I guess I was fooled. I guess they always were that someone. Just hidden #it hurts to know that someone who I thought was a close friend and an ex got “together” in a way. #They aren’t exactly together together but together in a way where they’re kinda fucking #And that’s where it hurts. To know what they’re doing. #that was my closest friend. my actual soulmate I believed. and thats my ex. They got “together” a month later after we broke up. #after talking about it to a few people.. were they attracted to each other even when my ex and I were together? If so.. what was I? #And how could they do this so easily? Or am I just overthinking/overreacting?? I don’t know. I need someone to tell me #I look back when my friend & I were still friends. I think I started to lose them during the beginning of summer last year #I just tried believing I wasn’t and things would fall back into place soon. but they weren’t. #They just said one thing and left. Leaving me alone in the dark. #I don’t know.. I get it in some way? I was in a bad place and probably draining for them to stay but like #Idk.. I guess I can understand why they left me. but why get with someone who I dated and start.. fucking. #im so hurt by this. I’m worried this wound will never close and that I’ll be a wounded dog chained to the tree forever.

[kazvys]

i miss kazuha

that's it. that's the post.

#⊹˚. ♡ ivy's random posts #⊹˚. ♡ kazu #i miss him so much #no one actually would get it #my heart literally aches for him #i just want to hold him in my arms that's all i ask

[beesinspades]

very happy to be a little over two months on T but boi despite no changes the hormonal mess it's causing has been taking me on a RIDE and next time is my first shot by myself i totally expect to either chicken out or suck it up and feel sick af afterwards

#beelio talks #two months no changes AT ALL except the one IYKYK #i've sure had bad nausea and stomach aches and palpitations all of which are 99.9% likely to be because of hormonal mess-induced stress #because it makes PMS and physical anxiety symptoms worse sdkjkln even though i'd never had palpitations before. CAN I CATCH A BREAK #palpitations actually got MUCH better after my dose was increased though. for whatever reason. hormones work in mysterious ways #dw i got my heart checked today to be safe #and it's all normal bike test and EKG and echography (boi that was weird to look at) and all #still likely doing a 24 hours test in a couple of months but yeah the four doctors and nurses who looked at me were not concerned at all #despite my heart rate being a bit too high #but that was likely the usual appointment stress and influenced by the bike test #i'm home now and it's back to my usual 70s-80s instead of the 115 it was back there lol #ANYWAYS #love being on T. hate the adjustment period. #i don't expect visible changes so fast btw! but when i say no changes i mean i also don't have the libido/hunger/warmth increase etc. #like if it wasn't for the one thing i'd think it doesn't work hahaha